tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-102327997051254703.post5391777942415299863..comments2023-10-31T06:31:41.395-04:00Comments on Bottom of the Barrel: Bill Simmons Hates Walking and Tries to Become America's Biggest Handball AdvocateBengoodfellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09401971573776672570noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-102327997051254703.post-88012815491386623632012-08-06T13:26:36.494-04:002012-08-06T13:26:36.494-04:00Jack, yes people are stupid. I am a little confuse...Jack, yes people are stupid. I am a little confused as to what Bill was expecting. He is at the Olympics, which is a huge gathering from citizens of hundreds of countries around the world. Wouldn't he expect the events to be spread out and for there to be a bunch of crowds?Bengoodfellahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09401971573776672570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-102327997051254703.post-57479164242408190002012-08-06T11:27:32.166-04:002012-08-06T11:27:32.166-04:00Rich, that's a good point. I didn't think ...Rich, that's a good point. I didn't think of LeBron and Griffin have a larger center of gravity. They may not even be good at handball due to this. It sounds like we could call him on his bullshit even if we don't know much about the sport. <br /><br />You know Bill has wanted to give some OT ideas for the NFL. I bet one of them is to make it 7-on-7 in OT or something. I mean, who says "no" to this? It's more exciting for the fans and it proves Bill is smarter than everyone else. <br /><br />The non-shooting foul idea where his mother calls and scolds him seems like a really good idea. Bill will put that on his list. I would think having to play a full man down does seem like a punishment. I don't watch a ton of hockey, but it seems like when one team has a man advantage over the other team it gives a large overall advantage. <br /><br />That is a good point. People have to enjoy the sport before watching attractive women will make the sport popular. It seems to be an overall trend. So make the sport popular, then throw in attractive women, and you may have a successful league. There's a thing called the Internet. People aren't going to pay $10 to watch attractive women run around playing a sport they don't like.Bengoodfellahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09401971573776672570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-102327997051254703.post-84029389605310191782012-08-06T02:22:46.198-04:002012-08-06T02:22:46.198-04:00If the LeBrons and Griffins ever played handball, ...<b>If the LeBrons and Griffins ever played handball, they'd probably be corner scorers. Oh, and they'd be ridiculously awesome. That too.</b><br /><br />Lebron James is 6'8', 250.<br /><br />I just looked up the olympic rosters for men's handball and two things of note:<br /><br />1) There is no one listed as a "corner scorer" - it's not a fucking position. So LeBron and Griffin would be good at a fake, made up position.<br /><br />and <br /><br />2) Most of the guys are between 6'2" and 6'4" and under 220 pounds.<br /><br />Now maybe Lebron's size would be a benefit, but there's probably a reason why those are the common heights (taller people playing basketball possibly being one of them).<br /><br />It's like saying Lebron would be a world class soccer player - he probably wouldn't. Most of the world class greats are like 5'10" and shorter (Messi is 5'7"). Why? Because when you're short, your center of gravity is closer to the ground and therefore you can do shit that a taller person can't.<br /><br />But I digress: it's almost like Bill wanted to go see a sport that no one really knew about so he could say whatever bullshit he wanted and people wouldn't be able to say "nope, that's wrong." Had he gone to a swimming, gymnastics or track event, people could call him on his bullshit.<br /><br /><b>Like when they have four-on-four overtimes in the NHL.</b><br /><br />Bill doesn't seem to realize they went to 4-on-4 OT because the NHL wanted shorter games. So to keep the games from going 80 minutes (full 20 minute 5-on-5 OT), they just said fuck it, give them 5 minutes and give them a chance to score.<br /><br />A 5-on-5, 5 minute OT would have meant pretty much every game would go to a shootout. So the NHL went to a 4-on-4 OT to get wins/losses without a shootout and to keep the games from going a while.<br /><br /><b>Those 30-minute halves in handball are a tough haul for spectators, you need to keep the fans on their toes just a tiny bit more.</b><br /><br />So the NFL needs to remove a couple players and make the games 7 on 7 the final few minutes, you know just to open it up. Those 30 minute halves in football are a tough haul for spectators.<br /><br /><b>How is that punishing?</b><br /><br />Because their team is now playing a man down?<br /><br />How is sitting in a box for 2 minutes any more "punishing?" Anyone who has played hockey and sat in the box knows you go in and sit. There's no punishment there either. Oh no, a full two minutes away from my teammates?<br /><br />If you foul a guy in basketball, you should force him to do pushups while the other team takes their free throws! And if it's a non-shooting foul, then the player's mother has to call the player up and scold him. This call will be played over the PA system in the stadium.<br /><br /><b>save handball in America by throwing gobs of money at a women's professional handball league</b><br /><br />The men's version always comes first. If people won't watch men do it, people won't watch women do it. This isn't 1950 anymore, if I want to see hot girls play with balls, I can do that and see them actually naked.<br /><br />The novelty of having hot girls playing a sport is not a basis on which to grow. For instance, the NFL was around forever before anyone even thought to make women do it while scantily clad and even then, people are watching because it's hot girls playing a sport they like already. If you don't like handball, then you aren't going to fucking regularly watch women do it no matter what. Even if they're nude, you watch maybe 10 minutes, get your fill of nude chicks and move on.<br /><br />God damn I hate this assclown.richnoreply@blogger.com