It's A Brave New World!

I was going to dissect Bill Simmons latest No. 2 filled article but the website was blocked here in the attic where I blog regularly. Needing an outlet for my Red Sox hatred I searched in vain, and fortunately after a long, tiring search, I found a Jayson Stark article on the front page of ESPN.com. It was right next to the article link where you can find out more about Sean Casey's next injury on the way to Japan. Honestly, at first I thought it was a gentleman named Casey who, like most sportswriters, has his head so far up the Red Sox team's collective ass it finally injured him. I was wrong of course.

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/preview08/columns/story?columnist=stark_jayson&id=3308572

Unless you're older than Eddie Joost, older than Dom DiMaggio, older than Zsa Zsa Gabor, you've never lived in a world like this.
You've never lived in a world where a baseball season was about to begin and the Boston Red Sox could be described with a word millions of New Englanders were once completely unfamiliar with:
Favorites.

Unless the above mentioned people are under the age of 1, then yes, we have all lived in an age where the Red Sox where favorites. Check this link out hot shot! http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/preview07/news/story?page=07expertpicks

Do you see a couple Red Sox picks on there? I do. I see them being predicted to win the East, the Wild Card, AND the World Series. For good reason as well, their payroll is second in baseball to the Yankees. I agree payroll is not directly related to results, but it does not hurt. Also, who the fuck are New Englanders? Can we partition off this area so I know exactly who we are talking about? And would this area also include Bristol, Connecticut? I bet it would Jay-son. There is another word New Englanders are very familiar with: Bandwagon.

It's kinda like waking up one morning and finding your family just moved to Mars. That's how unfamiliar we are with this universe -- a universe where even the Yankees are trying to catch the Red Sox. Where everybody, in fact, is trying to catch the Red Sox -- except, possibly, Hank Steinbrenner.

Have you followed baseball lately Jay-son? What the hell are you talking about? If you have paid attention, which I have, so someone please give me his salary for doing this for him, but the Red Sox have been in the playoffs a lot recently and are a pretty good team. This has become a familiar universe for everyone pretty much. Maybe not you, because you are too busy shitting your pants at the prospect of a Red Sox dynasty, but the rest have noticed. Good shot at Baby Steinbrenner Jay-son also. I think the Yankees are going to be ok this year, they may not be as worried as you think they are. I hate the Yankees by the way.

If Hank truly believes there's no such thing as Red Sox Nation, by the way, he needs to get out more. Not only does Red Sox Nation exist, we're pretty sure it's now larger than Bulgaria. And definitely Mauritania.

Didn't Baby Steinbrenner also say Red Sox Nation was a creation of ESPN? Way to leave that part out. Now Jay-son is proving there is a Red Sox Nation through his column at ESPN.com. Hmm....The next couple paragraphs are going to be exercises in bandwagonism that for some reason passes for being true fans in Jay-son's ManRam filled dreams. This is what makes up Red Sox nation to Jay-son.

In this universe, there's apparently not even any such thing as a Red Sox "away" game anymore.

Because there are a lot of bandwagon fans, this is Red Sox Nation? So Red Sox Nation is a bunch of pathetic bandwagoneers?

They're everywhere. Thousands and thousands of them -- dressed in their favorite Red Sox shirts, the ones that say everything from "NOW I CAN DIE IN PEACE" to "I SURVIVED THE SANTANA TRADE."

So they quote a Bill Simmons book title and talk about surviving a trade that never happened? True fans of the Red Sox can read and can recall current events. Take that Blue Jays fans who are still clinging to the days of George Bell and wear shirts that say, "JIMMY KEY HAS THE KEY TO MY HEART." Bunch of losers, those Blue Jays fans. Red Sox fans are so much more diehard.

"There's always been a fan base," says Mike Timlin, now in his sixth season in Boston. "You know that. But now that we've won a couple of times, it seems like it's exponentially multiplied."

Mike Timlin has a good point. There has always been a fan base. If there were not, then there would be no attendance and Fenway Park would be used mostly for rodeos instead of baseball games. Not sure what it proves, the Royals also have a fan base. And Mike, by "exponentially multiplied," do you mean, "people who know nothing about the team from 5 years ago have leeched on to the team?" There is actually a better term for that. Called being a "bandwagon fan." Having a group of them does not make them a nation of any type. Just a note to ESPN there...

It isn't just the numbers that have changed, though. It's that now, when all these people leave the house, they don't take their torture chambers with them.

You know what I hated? The martryism the stupid Red Sox fans carried around with them and how they talked about how they were cursed. Try being an Atlanta Braves fan and making the World Series 5 times in the 90's and the playoffs for 14 years straight and being labeled "chokers." Meanwhile the Red Sox fans are "tortured." You know what is torture asshole? Watching Bobby Cox bring Charlie Liebrandt in the top of the 9th in the World Series to face Dave Winfield knowing full well what will happen, simply because Liebrandt gave up a HR to Kirby Puckett in a situation the year before in the World Series...and then being right. So fuck all Red Sox fans and their experiences at being "tortured." You just whine more than anyone else and ESPN gives you a forum. Onward I move...

But Sean Casey is really the only high-profile addition.

Not high profile, sorry Jay-son. If you pay attention to the Red Sox all day and night, this may seem high profile, but Casey is not great anymore.

But every team faces questions like this. And when you look at the other AL powerhouses out there -- the Yankees, the Tigers, the Indians, the Angels -- don't their flaws all seem more glaring, at least on paper, than the Red Sox's flaws?

What are some examples of flaws? I would not know if they seem more glaring because you have not spoken about them at all. Though honestly, the Tigers flaws seem to be pitching questions, which is what Stark previously listed as being a problem for the Red Sox as well. They could very well be on equal turf then? Maybe? I don't know why he is trying to convince the world they are favorites, literally everyone knows that already anyway.

Well, at least if this team doesn't win, nobody will blame it on Harry Frazee or any spooky supernatural forces in the universe.At least now, it might be possible to chalk it up to one more example of how "the best team" doesn't always win.

We should chalk this up to, "what the fuck are you talking about?" If they lose, then they are not the best team, so it would be a good example of "the best team winning." Already getting those sour grapes ready for this year Jay-son? Let's be honest with each other. In a 7 game series, the best team usually wins, so I think still having the Red Sox as the best team, if they lose in the playoffs would be a good example of "wishful thinking." Also, don't blame the loss on a stupid myth some Boston sportswriter created, just stay in denial your favorite team is not the best.
That is much better and less crazy.

"The thing about this team is, we don't just want to win one," Youkilis says with a laugh. "We want to try to catch Yogi."

What does Youkilis have against Yogi Berra? I would have to say I have underestimated how powerful the Yankees have been if another franchise just wants to catch one of their players. Not the entire Yankee franchise, just one player.

So in conclusion, the Red Sox have never been favorites to win the World Series until this year, despite many experts predicting the Red Sox would win the World Series in past years, but if they do not make the World Series or lose in the World Series, this does not mean they are not the best team in baseball, because they definitely are and it is proven in Jayson Stark's mind because they are favorites and he doesn't need no stinking playoff series to show that. Also Red Sox Nation is not a creation of ESPN, but instead is a creation of a group of bandwagon fans who come together. Got it?