Ok, before our two readers and J.S. get pissed at me because I always post Peter King related stuff, please remember there is nothing else that angers me out there. This is it. There is no Bill Simmons, I have not found any articles that inflame me that are not about Favre or the trade deadline both of which I am fed up with discussing, there is no real football being played, baseball is in the August lull before the pennant races heat up and college football and basketball have not started yet. Basically I enjoy dissecting Peter King's MMQB and he is low hanging fruit. So please read and don't enjoy/enjoy. If anyone ever finds an article I should read, please feel free to link it to me in an email, I admittedly don't cast the widest net in search of articles.
On to King Peter King.
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/writers/peter_king/08/03/mmqb/index.html?eref=T1
There's a reason, even if you hate the Cowboys, that you should admire Tony Romo.
He has big enough ears that if a stiff wind came, it would blow him off the ground with his ears functioning as little wings and he could hang glide with them?
It's because he gets it. He cares about the right things, he works hard at being good and he gets what's important in becoming a top player at the highest level of football.
I hate the Cowboys and I have to honestly say I don't really think he does get it. He may work hard and want to be good but I don't genuinely believe he has his mind focused on football throughout the entire season. I just don't believe it. He brings his shitty country star girlfriends to football games to cheer him on and just creates distractions when there is really no need for a distraction. You know who does get it? Tom Brady. I hate him but he really does get it.
This fawning over Romo pretty much is understood if you have read King Peter's MMQB before. Romo is the next QB that King Peter will have a crush on after Brett Favre retires, assuming of course he retires before he dies from old age. This fucking puff piece fawning over an athlete is what causes me to greatly dislike Peter King. Shit like this:
This is why I love this time of year. There is nothing like the first three or four weeks of the preseason, when teams are at ease, no one's lost a game, and no one hates the media much yet. Forty minutes like these are only-in-training-camp moments, with Romo getting up to demonstrate something he wanted me to understand. During the season, we might be on the phone, and maybe he'd try to explain, but it wouldn't be clear enough. Now, I'm seeing it. And, as your rep out here on the trail, I hope that now you are seeing it.
Now Romo was up showing me.
"Before,'' he said, "I'd drop back seven and I'd be looking, looking, looking ... ''
He looked left, center and right in the room, bouncing on his feet, moving forward as he did it, ending up about three yards ahead in this imaginary pocket, throwing to an imaginary receiver on the right.
I find this boring and pointless, unless I am Cowboys fan. Which I am not. I realize Peter is a fan of the game but he has to realize spending one whole page of a column on Romo's footwork is boring for a reader. I just have no idea how this interests anyone who is not a redneck or a bandwagon fan (Cowboys fans).
Clearly, what Romo is trying to do this year is make sure for 16 games he never gets out of the habit of giving himself the best chance to stay back and see the field for the longest time.
This is exactly what every other QB in the league is trying to do as well. Not a novel idea, yet to Peter King, a QB changing his mechanics is life changing.
I realize this is all very nitpicking but he begins this column with this puff piece type shit and it is not worthy of even a mention.
He won't talk about Simpson for the record, in part because he refuses to feed the monster of celebrity. "I don't read much of the gossipy stuff, and I don't care about it,'' he said.
Ok, by saying he won't mention it, King Peter just mentioned it for him. I always love when a person dates a major celebrity and then acts like he tries to stay out of the spotlight. Always good for a laugh.
Romo quote of the summer: Asked about breaking one of Bill Parcells' Ten Commandments For Quarterbacks -- Do not become a celebrity quarterback -- Romo said times have changed since that Parcellsism. "Bill said that before the days [when] phones could be used as cameras.''
That has to be the most boring quote ever. Also incorrect. How many camera phone pictures do you see of Romo? Zero. Most of the photos you see are taken by a real camera and when he is outside of a nightclub.
I am not even trying to be funny right now. What I say is correct, what he says is wrong.
He had an interesting take on "winning the big game.'' Romo is 19-7 in the regular season, 0-2 in the playoffs. "What exactly constitutes a 'big game?' '' he asked. "
This is exactly the kind of ass kissing that Peter allows himself to get away with. The only way this is interesting is that it is completely incorrect. Instead of replying with the following choices that constitute a big game:
-a playoff game
-a Super Bowl
-a AFC/NFC Championship
he just listens and acts as if Romo is spitting the most Ghandi inward looking shit ever.
A couple years ago, when Peyton Manning set the touchdown record, I'm watching NFL Live, and the guys are talking about the great season he had, and someone says, 'But he hasn't won the big game yet.' I mean, he'd had two perfect playoff games -- the highest rating he could have -- to that point, but he hadn't beaten New England, and so he couldn't win the big game.
What the hell is he talking about? The whole point NFL Live was talking about, and I feel sick defending them, is that it easy for a great QB to put up great numbers in an early round playoff game, but when the time comes to perform well in an important game, the QB has to put up the same numbers. I have no idea when he heard this quote but here are Manning's statistics in the playoffs.
http://www.pro-football-reference.com/players/M/MannPe00_playoffs.htm
He had one perfect game, not two, but in 2004 he had ratings of 158.3 (perfect), 138.7 (almost perfect), and followed it up with a 35.5 against New England. This is just like when everyone knocks A Rod for not hitting in the playoffs, because a great player is expected to step it up in big games. If Romo can't understand this then I don't know what to say to him and for Peter King to just accept this horseshit excuse as a real thought is journalistic fraud.
"You mean playing perfect in a playoff game and winning is not winning a big game?"
Romo has not even won a playoff game yet so this complaint does not even pertain to him. He may truly believe he has one a playoff game. I think he has been around Jessica Simpson too long. His brain is going to shit. No, that is not what they are saying. They are saying a great QB like Peyton Manning should not play poorly in a game for the AFC Championship.
The funny thing is that he is comparing the criticism of Manning to himself and what people have said, and will continue to say about him, like those two are on the same level in any fashion, other than being white and goofy. He should focus on winning a playoff game at home and then start whining about expectations of him.
Time for the nightly quarterback meeting. He left me a good deal to chew on.
If he truly did, that is pathetic and sad. Or King Peter means that Tony Romo left some food behind for Peter to devour. Now that I think about it, this seems way more likely.
I hear you, readers. I heard you on the sidelines at Eagle camp Tuesday: "Hey Peter! There're other guys in the league than Favre!'' I heard you on the plane from Baltimore to LAX the other night: "I am so sick of that Favre story.'' My exhaustive research indicates that I have spent 62.3 percent of my first three post-vacation weeks on Brett Favre and 37.7 percent of my time on the 2,560 players who actually are in training camps, and maybe that is a little out of whack.
Just remember that he said this. Doesn't this infer he may slow the Favre talk down to you? To me it does.
Friday, July 25, Washington Redskins camp
ASHBURN, Va. -- Some teams you watch and you say: This team is better than people think. The Redskins are one of those teams.
I 100% agree and I have told J.S. this point. I mention this because I just need to be right. We may do an NFL preview here soon and I think Washington is pretty close to the best team in that division.
JACKSON, Miss. -- "When you look at your first two years and you see the 3.8 yards per carry, do you want to puke?'' I asked Reggie Bush, who was sitting on a golf cart on the running track surrounding the football field at Millsaps College.
Reggie Bush responded, "No, I am fine with that," as he ate a Subway sandwich, spilling a little mayo on his Reebok shoes, he wiped it off with a $500 pair of football gloves, and then went to one of his 9 BMW SUV's to go home and see his girlfriend Kim Kardashian laughing at what a great endorser he is. Just kidding, he is really serious about football and I bet he is very unhappy with 3.8 ypc. I bet Reggie Bush is hungry to prove everyone wrong this year.
"I realize four yards is a good run sometimes. I appreciate four yards; I'm not disappointed when I get stopped after four yards."
Oh. Maybe not. Sometimes four yards is a good run I guess, I am not...entirely sure...if you should...like... "appreciate" four yards...but it is good sometimes I bet...I would probably be a little disappointed if it were me, but I am not Reggie Bush...but if I were, I would want more...yards.
Monday, July 28, Green Bay Packers camp
GREEN BAY -- The Packers jog out to practice. They stretch. They belch and guffaw and prepare. They do drills. They throw and catch and run. And never is heard a discouraging word. No chants of "We want Brett!'' Or "Bring back Brett!'' And I start to think three things:
1. How well-behaved and wonderfully Green-Bayish they are.
2. What sheep they are.
3. How they wish they could just get on with their football lives and forget the nightmare of the Favre thing and just get on, distraction-free, with the most important thing in their lives -- a new Packer season.
I am amazed, but I shouldn't be. Even though many of these fans do not like GM Ted Thompson, this is not Philly or Foxboro, where the fans would hang Thompson in effigy. Or worse. [Postscript, Sunday night: Now that Brett Favre's actually going back to practice this week, I think there will be a flurry of fan comments and tension for a few days, but it won't last. That would not fit into the orderliness of the Packer world. It's football season, not picket season.]
He went to the Packer camp so I can understand this, but after promising to not mention Favre in discussing the Green Bay Packers he mentioned zero other players and referred to the Favre situation the entire time. Brett Favre was the sum total of trip to that camp.
I am not 100% sure he really did hear the readers.
Wednesday, July 30, Pittsburgh Steelers camp
Zen Ben Roethlisberger? "I've grown,'' he said. "It might sound crazy, but veteran guys in the league would understand. Knowing I have the serenity of a long-term contract is so important, because now you know they trust you. They're saying, 'It's your team.' When they sign you for eight years at this position, it's a huge commitment, one I don't take lightly.''
What he really means is he will not be getting on any motorcycles anytime soon and that if he does there is a portion of his contract that is voidable, so if he gets on a motorcycle he may have to get a real job because a good portion of his contract will be voidable. Long term security at its best!
I had to rent a car for a three-day jaunt to see the Eagles, Steelers and Ravens, and so I went to the Hertz counter for my one-way rental.
"Where will you be dropping the car?'' the pleasant, 30ish gal at the counter asked.
"Baltimore-Washington airport,'' I said.
"OK,'' she said. Then she got puzzled while looking at her computer. "Where is it?''
"Baltimore,'' I said. "Well, the outskirts of Baltimore. It's the big airport in Baltimore.''
Finally the third woman said, "Here it is!'' She looked up at me like I was a loon, a stupid customer for wasting the time of three employees.
"Sir,'' she said, "the airport's in Maryland. You said Baltimore.''
I weep for our geographical future.
Remember less than ten years until we get to hear about the color and size of his latest stool. Again, I am just preparing you for a "Interesting Stool Sample of the Week" section.
That sound you hear is Bernard in Graniteville, North Dakota shuffling over to the computer to share a geographically challenged anecdote with Peter via "the email."
1. I think these are my Favrian thoughts of the week:
He uses half a page on these by the way. This is his idea of laying off the story. It is a big story and probably should be mentioned. Don't infer you won't mention it though if you really are going to.
Yes, they wanted to get off the Favre merry-go-round of never being able to plan for a quarterback future. But it's smart, coming off a year like he had last year, to give Favre the latitude he wants to decide when he wants to play.
I think we all know how I feel about this. I don't feel like it is smart to let Favre decide when he is coming back to play but I am not the Green Bay Packers and will thoroughly enjoy watching this blow up in their face.
This has become pure Quarterback madness. What are they going to do now?
-Carry four QB's since all the talk I have been hearing, which is very little mind you, is that they like Matt Flynn? This is not that big of a deal actually but it sucks they used a draft pick on him and now are going to cut him.
-Is Brian Brohm, who reasonably could have been the second QB picked going to be a third string QB? This is an enormous waste of a draft pick and potential talent, just like Aaron Rodgers was four, years ago. I know Favre is a Pro Bowler and a legend, blah blah blah, but the Packers have so much invested in a Post-Favre era at this point. I really believe his decision is going to hold the franchise back in the long run.
-Is Aaron Rodgers ever going to get a chance he reasonably deserves? All of this means zilch because they caved to Brett Favre. I don't know how this is good for them in the long run, I just don't see it.
For those who say Goodell shouldn't have gotten involved because it sets a bad precedent, I say that's ridiculous. Goodell should help any franchise and any legend reaching out for his help if it's in the best interests of the game.
I could not agree less. This is a really slippery slope we are working on right now. What is going to prevent Goodell from "helping" a franchise not decide to trade a player or make another personnel move if it is in the best interest of the game again? What if he decides it is in the best interest of the game to have a player get traded to a certain team? Handing out league imposed discipline is one thing, it is completely another to put your input into certain personnel decisions a team is trying to make.
And anyone who doesn't think Brett Favre playing for the Packers -- if he's going to play football this year -- is in the best interest of the game is delusional.
I truly believe there is no one in football who thinks Brett Favre playing for the Packers is NOT in the best interest of football. The problem is that holding the team hostage and waffling on whether he is going to retire or not, thereby causing key personnel decisions to be made without complete information is not in the best interest of football. No one is arguing Favre is bad for football, I am arguing the way acts is not in the best self interest of football. A franchise has a right to move on when a player retires, the Packers did that, and Brett Favre does not have a right to choose where, when and how he plays when he unretires. He has not earned this right either through past actions.
I am very tired of saying this but I will continue to beat a dead horse and bore our readers.
6. I think Steve Smith deserved two games for what he did. Had he gotten four, I wouldn't have argued. Imagine if his attack on Ken Lucas had been caught on tape. Smith's life would never have been the same. As it is, he'll need months, and maybe years, to rehab his image.
I have no idea in the world why if the incident was on tape it would be any worse. Maybe he has not seen the pictures of it floating around the Internet, I am shocked King Peter even knows who Steve Smith is.
He pulled the same shit 6 years ago, TWICE, to be matter of fact and his image was rehabbed pretty quickly. It is amazing what the being the best receiver in football can do for your image. For an NFL insider who can text message players, knows what Deanna Favre eats for dinner, and can tell you Chris Long's jock size, I am amazed that King Peter did not know Smith and Ken Lucas have hated each other for four years now. It was really shocking it took this long.
10. I think these are my non-football thoughts of the week:
Or as I prefer to call them, his "Red Sox related thoughts of the week"
a. For a guy who needed to go on the disabled list, Manny Ramirez sure looks frisky out there for the Dodgers. Gee, I wonder what happened. Manny wouldn't have been trying to fake an injury, would he?
Bitter much Peter? Please remember this is the type of behavior the Red Sox fostered and condoned through 7 years with the team. They never disciplined him nor at any point told him through actual actions this behavior was unacceptable. They even traded him under his terms and conditions. Don't bitch that your favorite team can't control their players.
b. It's a trade that had to be made. Face it.
Not sure who he is speaking with here. Himself? Red Sox Nation (ESPN)?
And whoever gets Ramirez after this season, good luck. You'll have two years of euphoria, or maybe a year and a half. Then it'll be a constant little trail of bullcrap that you'll have to put up with because your team decided he was worth $23 million a year.
I love how Red Sox Nation (ESPN) has completely turned their back on him. They are all, "we never really liked him anyway, we just put up with him because the front office did. Go Sawx, we ah strangha than evah though."
This is the equivalent of a guy talking shit about his ex-girlfriend pretending he did not get dumped by her. The Red Sox got dumped by Manny and they have taken it so bitterly.
Manny is not getting $23 million this year. Way to be realistic Peter.
f. Good luck in Beijing, Laura. Don't breathe too much. Mind if Manny takes your room while you're gone?
I don't know what this means, except I am done now. Green Bay just announced Brett Favre is in training camp! I gotta go!
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