1. The Panthers are going to have a let down game. They have won two straight hard fought games and Steve Smith comes back this week from his suspension for punching Ken Lucas. By the way, I have wanted to punch Ken Lucas many times, so I think he should have gotten a new contract. Combine the fact the Vikings have a QB who doesn't one hops screen passes with the fact Adrian Peterson is "injured," and I think I see a Vikings win in the future. How sad is it that Gus Frerotte is the savior of the Vikings and I am actually afraid he will have a good game? He concussed himself against a wall a few years ago!
2. I am currently choosing between starting Jerricho Cotchery and Devery Henderson for Ronnie Brown in my fantasy WR/RB spot. The guarantee is that no matter who I choose, it will be wrong, it is just one of those years for me in my fantasy leagues. I just benched LT and am going to bench Ronnie Brown. I may not win a game this year. I look at my roster and have zero confidence.
3. We will get to see one or two Chris Gamble "I can not believe I did not intercept that pass that was right in my hands" dance. He played WR at Ohio State periodically. I actually tried to YouTube video of this because I did not believe it. It is like he has Hulk Hands out there. Two straight weeks and there have been two straight balls right to him, he has dropped. Just know it is going to happen, followed by Tim Ryan saying, "that was right in Gamble's hands, I don't know how he did not catch that." Followed by Dick Stockton calling Jason Baker, John Baker, and Jake Delhomme, Jim Delhomme. Those two things happened the past two weeks.
All times are Eastern Standard Time.
1:00- All I know is Charissa Thompson is the sideline reporter and has informed us the "injured" Adrian Peterson is going to play.
1:08- First pass to Steve Smith and he did not punch anyone. Good start.
1:09- DeAngelo Williams got the start over Jonathan Stewart and is immediately stuffed by the Vikings defense. John Fox continues his 6 year goal to make sure the second best RB always starts every game.
1:10- Field goal by John Kasey. Panthers winning 3-0. Settling for field goals...another John Fox staple. If he were a sheriff in the Wild West he would have brought flares to a gun fight.
1:11- "Crazy Eyes" from Curb Your Enthusiasm is in a Southwest Airlines commercial. He is now in literally every commercial. I just am waiting for him to be in a Sonic commercial and go into Crazy Eyes' character and stab the two men talking about the Sonic food in the car from the backseat.
1:16- Gus Frerotte just completed a long pass to Shicanthoeoeoe but it was dropped. He looks good. It took me five minutes to write that sentence because I am afraid to say it.
1:17- No clue yet on who the announcers are...but one is being called Tony, so I will assume that is Tony Biselli. Fox's production values need help.
1:19- We have Pats-Dolphins on CBS. So why did Jerry Porter talk shit this week? It is not wise to piss off the Patriots. Also, I have been watching for one minute and heard the word "team concept" so I am going back to Fox.
1:22- Boselli just said Jared Allen respects the game. If only he respected each state's drinking and driving laws. At least he never killed anyone....uh, Leonard Little.
1:26- Chris Gamble just intercepted a pass. I don't have TiVO, so I will just have to believe my eyes. This covers up the fact nearly every receiver for the Vikings has been open, they can't catch the ball though. In their defense, they are not used to catching the ball without a hop.
1:30- Jonathan Stewart is stuffed on a third straight run up the middle. I am all for running the ball but against the Vikings I would just run shotgun all day. They are very good.
Momentum destroying plays while on offense is another John Fox staple. I think he is a great coach but Tucker Carlson is less conservative than him.
1:37- My Mexican panther-cat has fallen asleep. I am not far behind. I feel a turnover coming.
1:39- DeAngelo Williams gets tackled while running backwards. Paging Jonathan Stewart....
1:40- Jake Delhomme fumbles the snap. Viking ball. I hate it when I am right.
1:42- Gus Frerotte just bounced a screen pass. Chris Simms or Daunte Culpepper are looking really good right now. The fans are booing....Thomas Davis was injured laying on the ground during a sack and Fox went to a Hardee's commercial. We got a Jimmy Kimmel commercial where he is being a smug asshole talking about the Giants game we missed last year and if we had DirectTV then that would not happen. Is there a type of television provider that actually shows football players and updates you on their injuries? Then Adam Carolla does a Taco Bell commercial. The Main Show huh?
1:45- We are back and no word on Thomas Davis. Possibly dead but not on the field. Fox comes through again with great production. What is the opposite of an Emmy Award?
Jonathan Stewart runs for 8 yards on first down...John Fox, angry with forward movement, puts DeAngelo Williams back in the game STAT.
1:55- Panthers are still insisting on running the ball up the middle. On third down, Delhomme throws to no one in particular and gets a mercy pass interference call according to Tony Boselli. Replays clearly show Boselli is watching a different game. Boselli then announces his knees and back hurt too much to call the game, he'll take Fox's money but is not going to be in the booth. No wait, he did that to the Houston Texans...not Fox.
1:58- Jared Allen horse collars DeAngelo Williams but the officials say Allen was just trying to slip a beer to Williams, so it was not a penalty.
The most interesting sub plot so far: Adrian Peterson has two rushes so far and the Panthers are insisting on running the ball three straight downs and not getting the ball to Steve Smith. Brad Childress and John Fox are locked in a death battle to see who can use their star player the least. Invigorating to watch.
2:02- Jonathan Stewart scores a touchdown to make it 10-0 Panthers.
On CBS the Pats are losing 14-3, so I am torn between the Pats winning or Joey Porter being right. Tough situation for me. Renaldo Hill almost intercepts a Cassel pass, tips it and Wes Welker catches the rebound. The announcer says, "that is why the Patriots are so good, you make a mistake and they make you pay." True but not incredibly relevant to the situation.
Then announcer says the Dolphins could have gotten the ball back and chewed up the rest of the quarter but couldn't make the play. There were 6 minutes left in the quarter at that point...That is a drive, not just chewing up the clock.
2:09- Fox interrupts live action for a commercial about Lowe's and NASCAR. My high school A/V club had better production. Then it went back to football action, then to a Barack Obama commercial, then to Charissa on the sidelines, then to a Ford commercial. It went to commercial after every...single...play.
2:11- The Vikings start running the ball with Adrian Peterson. John Fox starts yelling at Brad Childress across the field about "broken promises."
2:14- GameBreak time! Chicago v. Tampa Bay Kyle Orton throws an interception to Gaines Adams, a Tampa Bay DE, though to be fair, the intended receiver was his left guard.
2:17- Just a quick reminder Julius Peppers does not have a sack this year and had 2.5 last year. Overrated much?
2:19- Ken Lucas gives his typical 9 yard cushion to a receiver. Robert Ferguson takes advantage of this and gets a 9 yard gain on a pass from Gus Frerotte. No, this is not the CFL either.
Ronnie Brown just scored a touchdown. Just a big "fuck you" from my new fantasy benchwarmer.
2:22- Vikings are in the red zone and Ken Lucas is still giving a 9 yard cushion. He does this even on the goal line. They settle for a field goal.
Panthers will have the ball with 1 minute and 40 seconds left. I have $50 that says the Panthers down the ball to end the half. Stewart is returning kicks. Nothing like having your best RB on special teams willing and able to be injured.
2:26- 3rd and 6. They will run a screen pass or a draw. Which is it????
2:27- Neither. Delhomme got sacked, fumbled and Antoine Winfield ran it back. Delhomme is complaining on the sidelines about something, but probably not the fact that it is his job to read the blitz.
2:30- Panthers run the clock out.
Let's take a halftime break. I am getting a bad feeling.
2:48- It is Ron Pitts and Tony Boselli calling the game. I am drinking now...it is the middle of the afternoon.
I have a feeling we are going to get a steady diet of Adrian Peterson this half.
2:50- 48 yard completion to Benard Berrian. I am currently double fisting.
2:52- 34 yard TD pass from Frerotte to Shiancoe. So to sum it up, the Vikings can now throw the ball easily against the Panthers "defense" and that is when they don't run the ball with the best running back in the NFC. Things are not looking up for the Panthers.
My Mexican panther-cat is disinterested, but this let down game prediction is looking pretty good right now. Remember we still have not seen the Chris Gamble "I should have intercepted that pass" dance, so that has to come at some point.
2:56- Stewart runs a kickoff back to the 17 yard line...of course there was a block in the back by Jeff King, so it was called back to the 8 yard line. I have and never will understand the block in the back. Why not just not block in the back? I can't see how it would be that hard. You will get caught by the officials, so why try?
3:03- The game momentum has turned at this point. The Vikings has established the run and are passing well, while the Panthers can't throw or run at this point.
3:07- Gus Frerotte looks like David Carr. I hope they replaced Frerotte with David Carr.
Also Julius Peppers got his first sack of the year! Unfortuntely Ron Pitts called him Julius Peters. Is it that hard to get these player's names right?
3:08- Ronnie Brown has run for three TD's and now thrown for one TD. Not my fantasy year. If I benched Tavaris Jackson last week, maybe I would not have to be worried about Gus Frerotte right now.
3:11- Williams is back at running back for the Panthers and has run up the middle twice. I don't know whether to complain they are running up the middle too much, don't throw to Steve Smith enough or Jonathan Stewart should be in the game. I will just comment on it and then let it go.
3:16- Ken Lucas is still giving 9 yards to his receiver so passing is easy and the Vikings just realized they have Chester Taylor, so now he is running the ball well and the Vikings are driving.
3:19- Vikings are in a 3rd and long. This is where the Panthers should be able to control the game better...since Gus Frerotte is the quarterback.
..........1st down Vikings on a screen pass. The Panthers have never been able to cover a screen pass. Never ever.....
3:21- According to Ron Pitts, it is the end of the 1st quarter now. Two and a half hours for the first quarter, man, they need to hurry these games up.
I don't like being so hard on announcers but it is hard to believe these guys are the best Fox could find.
3:24- Back on CBS, Matty Ice is not looking too good. He missed a wide open receiver and fumbled. The New England fans are heading for the exits. Bill Simmons must be pissed.
Simmons had a theory earlier this week that Kevin O'Connell was going to be starting come Week 11 and that is why the Pats did not sign a QB when Brady went down. I think it is because Cassel has been in the offense for 3 years now and would be better at any point this year than anyone they bring in.
Of course he also said he thought they could get a first round pick for O'Connell down the road, so he clearly doesn't know what he is talking about.
3:28- Back to Fox, Chester Taylor just scored on another screen pass. It is called back on a hold and then Thomas Davis illegally contacted Shaincooeoehehe downfield. I am glad we finally found out Thomas Davis is not dead from his injury earlier.
This game is all FUBAR. Here is my question:
If the Panthers can't get a pass rush, which they can not, how can teams run screen passes on them so successfully? Usually you run a screen just to slow down the rush. The Vikings are running them just to fuck with the Panthers.
3:31- On CBS, I see that Trent Edwards does not have a touchdown, so Marshawn Lynch must have scored the touchdown. That is the good thing about the Bills. When you see they have 7 points, you know either Lynch scored it or Edwards through a touchdown pass, so you really only need to draft those two in any fantasy league and you will get 7 points every week!
That was my justification for drafting both of them.
3:34- Back to Fox. My Mexican panther-cat just passed gas, I think, and that is about how I feel about this too.
3:38- Field goal for the Vikings. 20-10 Vikings.
3:41- Panthers need a good drive, decide to run on second down, though they have 46 yards all day rushing and need 10 points in 7 minutes...and then go 3 and out. They are clearly playing for overtime at this point.
3:44- Back to CBS for my sanity. O'Connell is playing for the Patriots and Chad Henne is in for the Dolphins, so this is going to get ugly as well.
3:50- Jared Allen had approximately 4 sacks on the Panthers final drive...they actually lost 20 yards, so I don't want to really call it a drive.
Let's just end it here. Nothing good can come of either game on television right now.
In typical Peter King fashion in his "Fine Fifteen" he kicked the Panthers out of the top 15 but somehow included San Diego in there, even though they are 0-2 and lost to the Panthers.
ReplyDeleteIt is a ranking of teams that is completely arbitrary, but at least have some sort of method you use to come up with the useless bullshit.