My Name is Gene W. and I Am A Moron

(Edit: This article is completely wrong. I thought the LDS was 7 games long and not 5 games. The premise stays the same and still holds up as my usual bullshit, if you can get past the inherent stupidity of me not knowing how long the baseball postseason is.)

I quit paying attention to baseball pretty much on July 31st for the first time in over a decade and a half, so I have been kind of out of the loop.

Gene Wojciechowski, or Gene W. to me, has brought me right back into the loop with an article that struck me as dumb.

The stunner isn't that Carlos Zambrano is the Chicago Cubs' starter for Game 2 of the NLDS.

The stunner is that Ryan Dempster is the Cubs best pitcher. This is not a joke. Ryan Dempster has a long history of injuries and being a bad pitcher. I did not realize Carlos Zambrano was having such a bad year. Last time I checked he was a good pitcher but Gene has some major fears that Big Z will throw a temper tantrum on the mound and lose the game.

The stunner is that he wasn't dropped to Game 3, or, I kid you not, even Game 4.

Ok. If he was dropped to Game 3 then he would have pitched Game 7, if he is having a tough year, that is definitely not where you want him to pitch. Make sense? Both of these games are also on the road, so maybe the Cubs want Zambrano to pitch in front of the home crowd. Make sense? Even though Zambrano is not having a great year, do you really only want him pitching once? This is really not that stunning really. The Cubs have a great starting rotation and someone has to get the shaft a little bit and that person is Ted Lilly.

The decision to have Zambrano follow Ryan Dempster in the playoff rotation must have been a toughie for manager Lou Piniella and pitching coach Larry Rothschild.

I am assuming the conversation went like this...

(Piniella) "I want Big Z to pitch at home twice, I think that will benefit him."

(Rothschild) "Do you want him in Game 1?"

(Piniella) "No, I want Dempster in Game 1."

(Rothschild) "Ok, let's put him in Game 2 then, so he can also pitch Game 6. What kind of sandwich is that you are eating Lou?"

They're dealing with a proud, spectacularly gifted player who can no-hit lineups or -- and this is what gives you the heebie jeebies about him -- leave crater marks from the latest implosion.

I will give you the fact he has a temper but he is also a great pitcher who has had a tough year with injuries. Here is the really cool thing about baseball...if Zambrano looks like he is getting ready to freak out on the mound, the manager/pitching coach can come out and talk to him, or if worse comes to worse they could put another pitcher in. It is really easy.

But the numbers speak for him, and right now they're saying the Cubs are taking, at best, a calculated risk by pitching him second in the NLDS rotation. At worst, they're risking another mound meltdown and depriving the more consistent Ted Lilly of his rightful place in the No. 2 spot.

I don't know about the "consistency" of Ted Lilly (Is Joe Morgan writing this article?) but I do know these are these two players yearly numbers:

Ted Lilly: 34 Games started, 17-9 record, 21 quality starts, 204 innings pitched, 32 homeruns given up, 184 SO's, 1.23 WHIP, 4.09 ERA.

Carlos Zambrano: 30 games started, 14-6 record, 17 quality starts, 188 innings pitched, 18 homeruns given up, 130 strikeouts, 1.29 WHIP, 3.91 ERA.

So basically it is kind of a toss up. The Cubs are betting Big Z will do better in front of the home crowd twice and use his emotions in a positive way that will allow him to pitch well. Here is the interesting part, if Big Z does get "too emotional" on the mound you can always have Sean Marshall or Jason Marquis come in the game to pitch and then they could also pitch Game 6 if Zambrano is so emotionally scarred he can never pitch again. It is not like they are contractually bound to keep Zambrano out there at all times. (They are contractually bound for 5 more years and 91.5 million dollars for this "risky" pitcher) I would think if the Cubs are truly worried about a Zambrano blow up, they would rather it happen Game 2 where the worst that could happen is they are down 1-0, rather than a Game 3 where he could potentially be pitching in front of a hostile crowd down 2-0 in the series.

I am not saying this is going to happen, I am saying, this is could be the line of thinking Piniella is using.

On performance alone, the rotation should be Dempster, Lilly, Rich Harden and then Zambrano. Instead, it's Dempster, Z, Harden and then Lilly. But other factors could be at work here, beginning with Zambrano's pride.

Under your incredibly dumb "performance alone" rotation, it should actually be Harden, Dempster, Lilly/Zambrano. Considering Harden has an ERA under 2.00 in the National League. Just saying...

I would actually say Zambrano's pride is at work here. Maybe the pride will cause him to pitch better. Of course, Gene has not thought about that.

Big Z has had a tough year, for him, but he did throw a no hitter recently so he can still shutdown a team's offense.

He's never won any of those four Opening Day starts (5.57 ERA in 21 innings).

Opening day has nothing to do with the playoffs. Let's look at his playoff performance:

http://www.baseball-reference.com/z/zambrca01.shtml

Check out his last start in the playoffs, just last year, before you go all "A Rod sucks and look at him in the postseason and that proves it" on Zambrano.

6 innings of 4 hit ball where he struck out 8 batters.

In 2003 he pitched against Josh Beckett and lost, pitching 5 innings and giving up 2 runs on 5 hits. He struggled but Beckett gave up 2 hits the entire game. If the opposing pitcher gives up 2 hits in 9 innings it is not the other pitcher's fault he did not win the game.

So does Zambrano's 2008 medical history: a disabled list appearance in June, an anti-inflammatory injection in his pitching shoulder in early September. And maybe I'm reading too much into it, but did you notice that Zambrano backed out of this past Sunday's start (it would have been two innings, tops) in favor of a long-toss session?

Maybe he did this because of all of the above injuries you just typed. Maybe he wanted to make sure he was completely healthy for his start in Game 2. Maybe he did not think he would benefit from only pitching two innings in a meaningless baseball game. Maybe you should not freak out about this so much Gene.

Zambrano breaks bats over his knee in anger.

So did Bo Jackson...and for some reason everyone thought it was cool.

Dugout water coolers run for cover when he's pulled during a bad start.

So did Paul O'Neill but that was just because he is such a competitor.

His career includes two MLB-imposed suspensions (2002, 2004) and one dugout/clubhouse whupping of catcher Michael Barrett.

The suspensions were for berating umpires, which Lou Pineilla really can't hold against him. Everyone knows Zambrano has a slight temper problem, as long as it does not affect his pitching, he will be fine. It seems, based on Zambrano's career record, more likely than not his temper has not affected his pitching.

This maddening inconsistency and immaturity is what should scare the Cubs as the playoffs begin.

This is why I don't like some Cubs fans. Sorry. They whine and panic about their team and are never happy. Gene is an example of this. Big Z was their best pitcher coming into this year and now he is freaking out about all of the horrible things that could happen. It is kind of annoying.

They are like Red Sox fans, except they call themselves Lovable Losers. I call them Whiny Bitches. I read the article about them in the lastest Sports Illustrated and could barely get through it. I realize the fans have been waiting a long time for a championship but they treat a simple baseball game like it is the most important thing in the world. Also, I could not tell if most of the fans showed up to party or to cheer on their favorite team. Not to pull a Lee Elia but I do have to question any fan base that is able to come to day games almost 60 times a year. Maybe jobs are hard to come by in Chicago.

If Carlos Zambrano is such a bad and maddening inconsistent pitcher then why did the Cubs resign him to a huge contract? Why are his comparables through Age 26 players like:

Jake Peavy
Ralph Branca
Jose Rijo

There are other pitchers in there who are not as great, I admit that, but Gene needs to quit whining about Big Z. This is the first year since 2003 Zambrano has not pitched 200 innings and the least amount of games he has won in that span is 13. His highest ERA and WHIP are 3.95 and 1.33 respectively. He is not a horrible pitcher and his emotions are pretty inconsistent but his pitching is generally pretty good.

This isn't so much about Zambrano's finding the strike zone as it is his finding some sort of equilibrium on the mound. When things go poorly, he has a habit of unraveling like dental floss from a spool.

The big new contract he signed has not even started yet and Gene is already bitching about Big Z's lack of control of his emotions. Why did the Cubs resign him if he is such a risk? I just don't get this. I remember Big Z being an emotional person before this year and now Gene thinks he is this massive risk who should be treated delicately. So either Gene is wrong or the Cubs were wrong to give him 5 years at 91.5 million dollars.

I will let you guess which one I think is wrong.

I tell Lilly that Zambrano's antics sometimes make me want to jump off the Sears Tower. The tantrums drive me crazy.

This column reads more like a fanboy's secret diary entry chronicling his worst fears for his favoritest team in the whole world.

"But when it's Carlos' turn to pitch, I enjoy it. ... You pretty much know what he's thinking throughout the game. It's kind of fun to watch. Maybe that wouldn't make him a great poker player."

If Zambrano isn't more careful, it might not make him much of a playoff pitcher, either.

I am going on record as saying I would take my chances with Carlos Zambrano pitching Game 2 of the first round of the playoffs. More often than not, he pitches a good game. I think if Gene W. put his mind to it, he could figure out it will benefit Big Z more to pitch at home twice and to have Rich Harden available to pitch Game 7. Choosing a pitching rotation is more than just lining up your best pitchers and having them pitch.