Popping the TMQ Cherry...Slowly

I have no idea who Emma Pacifico is and apparently neither does a good percentage of Internet searchers because it led them here...to this site, according to Google Analytics. I am sure these people were confused when they were looking for information on a fifth grader, they found a smart ass sports blog.

I am going to try and tackle TMQ this week. I have never even read an entire Easterbrook column before but read the first paragraph of this one and decided I would take it on. Then I realized I have to tackle it slowly because there is an insane amount of egregiously wrong material in there. Then I realized he rambles more than I do.......and well, I quit reading carefully. This is all I could decipher from this rambling mess.

TMQ

He is talking about high draft pick quarterbacks who lost to quarterbacks that were not drafted so high, in order to prove the point he has no point.

Oakland quarterback JaMarcus Russell, the first overall NFL draft choice in 2007, was outplayed Sunday by Buffalo quarterback Trent Edwards, chosen late in the third round of the same draft.

I personally consider any QB drafted in the first three rounds as a high draft choice, so this was not that shocking to me. JaMarcus Russell also sucks, let's not get confused about this. He was drafted #1 because he beat Brady Quinn in a bowl game...no other reason than that. He is also fat so I pick on him like a high school bully.

Fourth-round draftee David Garrard led Jacksonville to a victory over Indianapolis.

One week. I would not argue Garrard will outplay Peyton Manning for the rest of the year. He just took a sample size of one and flat out ran with it down the hallway of wrongness into the bathroom of incorrectness and took a huge crap all over logic.

Recently waived quarterback Chad Pennington led Miami to a victory over mighty New England.

He was a first round draft pick who was the starter for a playoff team in the past and the Patriots were starting a 7th round pick who was starting his second game. This is the worst comparison to prove anything.

Chad Pennington was also waived so his team could have THE GREATEST QB IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD, so that has to count for something, rather than just being waived.

Brian Griese and Kerry Collins, both intimately familiar with the waiver wire, led Tampa and Tennessee to victories

Kerry Collins has lead a team to the Super Bowl and to the NFC Championship game in his career. He was a first round draft pick as well. If he were 27 years old he would not be waiver wire material. Brian Griese has made the Pro Bowl and was a 3rd round draft pick. Horrible, horrible choices to compare anything, yet again.

Overall, only 14 of the 32 quarterbacks who started this week were first-round draft choices.

Read that stat for its face value. Then realize that is actually a really good percentage of 1st round QBs that start for their team, especially considering many teams do not draft QBs high in the draft, and some do not draft QBs at all.

Then Easterbrook starts championing concussion proof helmets and I remember why I never read TMQ. Too much grandfather-esque rambling and too little actual knowledge sharing with the public.

Sweet Defensive Play of the Week: Minnesota cornerback Antoine Winfield sacked Carolina quarterback Jake Delhomme, picked up his fumble and ran it back for six points. TMQ suspects this play was an uncalled "automatic" -- if Winfield saw a certain alignment, he was free to blitz. On the play, Delhomme only looked to his left, with Winfield coming from his right. The Vikings' corner left his man uncovered, but Delhomme never looked that way. From film study, Minnesota coaches must have noticed a formation or down-and-distance situation in which they were certain Delhomme would never look to his right.

Or it could be the fact the running back, Nick Goings, missed his assignment and went out to receive a pass rather than stay back and block. Let's ask the head coach for the Panthers!

John Fox: I think what happened to him the other day is that a guy (held) up; he saw he didn't come and he released. He never really saw the corner coming. Guys make mistakes. All of us make mistakes.

TMQ's reasoning could explain it as well...except if Winfield was wrong and the running back stayed back to block there would be a completely uncovered receiver in the secondary.

City of Tampa defensive end Gaines Adams intercepted a screen pass and returned it for a touchdown against Chicago. The play was a tight end screen, and Adams not only got into position for the interception by interfering with Bears tight end Desmond Clark, he practically threw Clark to the ground. That would have been legal in high school, where there is no pass interference behind the line of scrimmage. But in the NFL, Adams should have been flagged, and it should have been a first down for Chicago.

I am going to assume Desmond Clark was pretending to block so that he could sell the screen, and if so, there is no reason Gaines Adams would have known this and seems to perfectly be able to try and get past the block, which he did, so I would not think there would be a penalty in that case. Also, Kyle Orton did not have to throw the ball, but he did.

City of Tampa? I don't even get that.

Then Easterbrook starts talking about the government bail outs for the financial industry and I lost all interest in reading and began to actually do my job for a few minutes, rather than type.

(20 minutes later)

As TMQ endlessly notes, teams that punt on fourth-and-short when trailing in the fourth quarter almost always go on to lose.

If you are looking for statistics to back this up, you are in the wrong place. This is just hyperbole that has no backing. At this point Green Bay was on their OWN 35 on a fourth down. They did not want to just hand the ball to Dallas when they are already close to field goal territory. Losing 24-9 stinks but logic dictates if you back the ball up a little more, you could close that gap pretty quickly if the potent Green Bay offense gets the ball back.

Who was responsible for Miami's high-school-venerating game plan? Offensive coordinator Dan Henning, who wasn't even working in the NFL last season. Maybe he attended some Friday night high school games and remembered that football is supposed to be fun.

It looked familiar to me as well when I watched the Dolphins game. I wonder why........

Dan Henning was the offensive coordinator for the Carolina Panthers when the below happened in a 2006 Carolina Panthers v. Atlanta Falcons game and it happened because Chris Weinke was the QB and he had no faith in Weinke to win a football game.

The game ended 10-3. In total the Panthers only passed 7 times, connecting on 4. The Panthers ran the ball 52 times, including many from the archaic single-wing formation.

Not that TMQ would need to remember this but this formation was not new for Dan Henning.

Then Easterbrook started talking about the AIG bail out again. This is brutal to read. I am missing Woody Paige and Bill Simmons about right now.

Browns note: "Brady! Brady!" That's what I would be chanting if I were a Cleveland fan. This team has one of football's most expensive offensive lines, and Sunday could not run. It has two high No. 1 draft choices at receiver positions, and Sunday could not pass. It has an average of nine points scored per game, all losses. And it has Brady Quinn on the bench.

After seeing the offensive line could not open holes for the running game and the two #1 receivers could not get open, Easterbrook determines it is Derek Anderson's fault. Anderson is not helping out that much but I don't think he is completely to blame. Imagine what an inexperienced QB would do for that team!

Absolutely nothing is the answer...

Then he starts talking about the fucking bail outs again. Is this CNN or ESPN?

I regret trying to take on a TMQ. I don't have a long enough attention span to get past the diversions he takes in his epic, winding fashion. I give TMQ and Easterbrook two thumbs down.