Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Charley Rosen's Editor Just Doesn't Give a Fuck

Was talking with my room mate yesterday about the deplorable standard of (non sporting) journalism. You know, if journalists are to have one certifiable skill, it should be knowing a wide variety of methods for telling a story, and being able to pick the right method for any given situation. Too often it seems, large scale stories are told through a very small lens and forced into a "personal story" when it is entirely inappropriate, this was the general nature of our discussion. Whatever about the bias or poor research of a jounalistic piece, there really is no excuse for it to be sloppy stylistically.

Which brings us to Charley Rosen, who has been writing previews for each division in the NBA. Most of the time when we post here it is usually to expose poor research, absurd premises, bizarre obsessions, whatever. Rarely is there a stylistic critique, but ultimately, the site is about showing up bad journalism, and although Rosen's positions are (usually) reasonable, if debatable, these previews strike me as just a little self absorbed. Let's take a look.

Southwest is loaded with title contenders

Dallas Mavericks
New-old coach, same old players. The most significant factor, though, is Jason Kidd being able to participate in a training camp, thereby becoming fully integrated into the Mavs' offense. Make no mistake, it's J-Kidd who's the key player here. For sure, he's lost a few steps, which means that he'll have trouble defending all of the NBA's quick-footed point guards and he'll also have a hard time getting to the basket. Even so, his legendary unselfishness and competitive spirit will infuse some courage and vitality into this chronically underachieving squad.

I have to say, if he plays 35 games it will be a minor miracle. Not mentioning this at all is a bit ridiculous, he has the knees of an eight five year old. Basically he can't defend - at all. He can't shoot - at all. He can't penetrate - at all. He can now pass, and we will see how well he can do that playing 25 minutes a night in 40% of games with no other threat and team mates who do not play well off the ball.

Colour me sceptical.

Erick Dampier and DeSagana Diop provide the muscle in the middle.

Dirk Nowitzki can fill up a stat sheet but still must prove he can deliver in the clutch.

Brandon Bass was a revelation last season but generally performed much more effectively against the league's weaker teams than he did against the powerhouse ball clubs.

this is what I'm getting at. It's like the guy is reading tea leaves, like he has his head under some magic sheet and is transcribing this to a stenographer, furiously recording these prophecies. To summerise Dirk Nowitzki's effect on a game as "can fill up a stat sheet but still must prove he can deliver in the clutch", after the 2006 season, strikes me as a ridiculously superficial analysis.

Jason Terry is a point-machine when he goes right, is useless on defense and is another disappointing end-game player.

he's worth about a thousand Kidd's.

After a disastrous offseason, there's no way to anticipate what Josh Howard will bring to the table. The taunting of hostile fans will either inspire him or deflate him.
Jerry Stackhouse is just about finished, but a sudden maturation of the spectacularly talented Gerald Green could easily make Stackhouse irrelevant.
When all of his body parts are working, Devean George is the team's only top-notch wing-defender.

there you have it, a healthy Devean George and Jason Kidd and the sky is the limit. Give me a break, and this is a harsh assessment of Howard as a defensive presence, extremely harsh. Nothing in my years watching George makes me believe he is better on his man than Howard. Also, Gerald Green endorsement? It's so impossible to pick who Rosen will like or not, he's basically Darius Miles 2.0 and he fucking hates Miles.

Houston Rockets

The presence of Ron Artest makes the Rockets' extraordinary defense even better. Houston also has an optimum blend of quickness and size, of finesse and power. But there are some problematic aspects that must be resolved for Houston to challenge the Lakers.
Yao Ming absolutely must stay healthy.
Tracy McGrady must get tougher.
Dikembe Mutombo must undergo the most difficult of all possible surgeries, a birth-certificate replacement.

what is with this one sentence per paragraph thing? It's like a haiku. Even Easterbrook has ditched the "haiku as analysis" thing.

While Luis Scola and Chuck Hayes are good at what they do, they lack a requisite amount of athleticism. That's why Ron-Ron will frequently play power forward in end-game situations with the rock-solid and grossly underrated Shane Battier manning the small-forward slot.

Shane Battier's entire life can be summed up thusly - everyone, everyone said I was underrated. Seriously, how many times have you read "Shane Battier is underrated"? Thirty times? Forty? David Eckstein, Shane Battier, who would be your football pick people? Bob Sanders had this mantle for a while, people ridiculously thinking he was worth like eighty rushing yards a game. This whole "piggyback" analysis has to stop.

Shane Battier is the new Josh Howard who was the new Ben Wallace.

At the point, Rafer Alston is good but not nearly as good as he thinks he is. It's therefore imperative that he willingly sublimates his point-making ambitions and concentrates on running the offense.

Artest absolutely must behave himself on the court, in the real world and in the locker room. Keeping a low profile will be difficult for Artest, but with Yao's background of collective-culture, T-Mac's small-town mindset and Alston's overbearing inner-city chops, Ron-Ron must find a way to peacefully co-exist.

also - win at basketball.

Other important bench-men include Aaron Brooks, a mercurial and mistake-prone back-up to Alston, and Brent Barry, who can knock down 3-pointers and do little else.
Indeed, it's the lack of scorers off the bench that constitute the major flaw in Houston's game plan.

the Great Rosen has spoken! Begone!

New Orleans Hornets
These guys are ready to rock the league.

Chris Paul is the most dominating point guard extant. This is because of his phenomenal skills, but also because he's the jet-speed motor of virtually all of the Hornets' offensive sets. True, he isn't quite as effective when he's pushed left and can be overpowered on defense — and while his perimeter shooting is improving, it's still erratic — but CP3 rules.


ready to rock the league? They went to the Western Conference Finals? How can they possibly shock anyone? Way to pick a sleeper Charley!

Mike James fills in for Paul and is a natural shooting guard who's still learning how to run an offense.

David West is a scoring and rebounding machine. Julian Wright is West's wildly talented sub.

I feel like Rosen is literally looking into a crystal ball here.

Peja Stojakovic is a streak shooter from the outskirts. Period.

Mo Peterson is another long-range bomber and an adequate role player.
And it's the addition of James Posey's tough defense, clutch shooting and versatility that could easily push the Hornets over the top.

eleven wins I hear.

What are the team's weaknesses?

Peja's soft defense. No other low-post scorer besides West. James' limitations. No dependable backups in the frontcourt.

these are just statements. No reasoning, it's like a logical formula or something, it's so weird to be a reader in Charley Rosen's world.

"Honey, our sex life is stalling, what do you think is the problem?"
"Boredom. Mistress. Impotence. Good night."

San Antonio Spurs

Despite the high quality of their divisional rivals, the Spurs' biggest enemy is Father Time.
Tony Parker is still young, spry and at the top of his game. No problems there. But his primary backup, Jacque Vaughn, will be 34 in February.
Michael Finley will be 37 before the season is over. Bruce Bowen is 37, and Kurt Thomas is 38. Even Tim Duncan is 32.

WHY IS THIS THREE PARAGRAPHS?

Matt Bonner is an excellent shooter with great range, so he should be able to put more points on the board than the departed Robert Horry. But Bonner's lateral movement is certainly far from being excellent, so his defense is questionable.

if you have to mention Matt Bonner in a team's preview, all signs point to a dissapointing year.

And on it goes, in Tarzan "me Tarzan, you Jane" like elegance. Can Rosen just not write? I mean there are some fair points in there and as a regular reader of Rosen I can profess that he genuinely knows a reasonable amount about the inner workings of a game of basketball, even if he approaches the game purely as "x's and o's" and chemistry with zero in between. It's just that he shouldn't be anywhere near a keyboard. Like an actual writer needs to get between his thoughts and what's read on the page. I mean Jesus, it has all the readability of a shopping list.

1 comment:

  1. Shane Battier is such an underrated player, ask anyone and they will tell you this. He was underrated when he was Mr. Basketball of Michigan in high school, when he was the National Player of the Year in 2001, 3 time Defensive Player of the Year, a 1st team All American in college and when he was a top 8 draft pick. NOBODY believed in that kid.

    I feel like Battier is not a guy you want playing for you down the stretch of a ball game, I would much prefer to have him as the 1st guy off the bench.

    Or as Charley Rosen would say. Good defense. Needs to grow some hair to not look like an alien. Good first guy off the bench.

    I like a lot of Rosen's stuff but sometimes I feel like he is just being an asshole for fun.

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