So, I thought I'd give you guys a break from Ben's self-flagellation and simultaneously check in on the ball of pure ego that is Gregg Easterbrook.
As you can see from the title, part of me has given up. At least the pun centric part of me, I am fully in the hands of the sportswriters now. You'd think they'd give Easterbrook a new photo on Page 2 huh? Like it's all black and white, like he's died of something or terminally ill. Like the Easterbrook of the good old days. In fact, it kind of looks like a high school photo in a yearbook. Maybe he is so vain he demands that no photos are taken of him over the age of 28, I don't know. What I do know? Easterbrook fucking loves a man with his hands wrapped around the ball as long as he isn't throwing or kicking it - ideally football would not allow throwing or kicking the ball at all apparently. This is just a quickie, but it is a doozy.
Tis Better to Have Rushed and Lost Than Never to Have Rushed At All:
Isn't Denver supposed to be the league's master of the rush?
maybe four years ago. Now it would be Minny. Or Jacksonville. Or San Diego. If you watch football you'd notice that Denver has been one of the most aerial based teams in the NFL. Keep up Gregory, you only write a thesis on the fucking sport every week. So no, they are not. Any other questions you need to ask me, the reader of your column, to educate you on football?
Trailing woeful Kansas City 26-16 with 2:26 remaining, the Broncos reached first-and-10 on the Chiefs' 15 and went incompletion, incompletion, incompletion, field goal. Then the onside kick failed, and Larry Johnson iced the game with a touchdown run.
what? Seriously? What the fuck? I mean, it's wrong, and I'll get to that, but even more amazing - this goes against everything you stand for! You're all about throwing caution to the wind, "4th and 67? Who gives a fuck, you're down by one with 5:57 remaining! Would you like FRIES with that vagina?" This has been your thing! The whole "coaches are scared to go for it in must win situations"! This is the single defining football trait of your writing (considering 60% of your columns are old man rants about subjects unrelated to sports). You have to throw right? Where is your famous YOU NEED TWO SCORES philosophy here? Honestly, what the fuck. Even with hurry up offense you would get two plays, max, in before the two minute warning, and it's very unlikely you would score or even get a first down on those two plays. If Denver had less than 3 TO's it makes even less sense. You need to score quickly. You watch football Easterbrook? Notice how teams throw when they are behind by more than a score in the last quarter? There's a reason for that champ.
I'm not saying that rushing would be unforgivable or anything, it's just like...who cares? Both decisions are fine and passing on first down (and if you pass on first down you pretty much commit to passing on the remainder of the series) is probably the more common (and also more likely to result in victory) choice. How can you rail against this? Furthermore, what possible difference would it have made to the outcome of the game if they rushed? Touchdown or no, if they don't recover the kick it's game over anyway.
So much idiocy packed into just four sentences - and there are TEN THOUSAND WORDS OF THIS A WEEK.
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