MMQB Review: We Aren't All Stupid Edition

This is not good.

I watched zero television from Friday to (eventually) Tuesday, not by choice, mom disconnected the cable to the attic. I have it taken care of now, but it has worked out for me because I am not tired of watching football that I can give my full attention to King Peter and just how much he talks down to his readers like we are morons.

Look at Sunday's big winners and tell me what they have in common.
Baltimore, Tennessee, Arizona, the New York Giants, Atlanta, Indianapolis and New England. Yes, New England, even after an 18-15 loss to the Colts in Indianapolis.

Of course New England! Even when they lose a ball game, they really win because they play the game the right way and make all the right moves...waiting to the sixth round to draft a Hall of Fame quarterback and hiring a genius coach. The right way to do things.

My take on this week, and the first half of this NFL season, is this: The good teams, and the pleasant surprises, are the teams that plan for the future while trying to win championships today.

There you have it. The secret to winning by Peter King. I will let you read it again, but save you the energy of having to go back to the quote, because I know your brain is tired from the pure genius of this quote.

My take on this week, and the first half of this NFL season, is this: The good teams, and the pleasant surprises, are the teams that plan for the future while trying to win championships today.

It looks better in italics I think. It makes it seem like a mantra we can all live according to, rather than just words piled together.

My take on this week, and the first half of this NFL season, is this: The good teams, and the pleasant surprises, are the teams that plan for the future while trying to win championships today.

Get this my reader(s). My take on the entire point of running a football team and the entire purpose and reason for a successful General Manager, and the exact way you can tell if the team has good ownership and management is: If the team tries to win a championship or two today and still plans for the future.

I take back everything I have ever said about Peter King. This is the fucking stupidest thing he has ever said. Ever. You will never read anything dumber said in this post from here on. What team in the NFL is not trying to win championships today and still plan for the future? Sure, many will not win championships today, but they are trying to, and in the NFL no team is mortgaging its salary cap future today for a championship. There is planning involved in even the dumbest decisions.

The teams I worry about -- Oakland (with a willy-nilly, wasteful-spending approach to free-agency)

Trying to win today with these free agency pickups like Javon Walker and Gibril Wilson. Trying to win for the future when drafting JaMarcus Russell and Darren McFadden.

Dallas (which has gone seven years without drafting a quarterback to develop),

They sat Tony Romo on the bench for two years for the future and had Bledsoe trying to win championships in the present.

Detroit (a constant disconnect between the drafters and the coaches)

They are trying to win, they just make bad personnel decisions and that affects everything.

That is the real moral here. Make good decisions and hope they work out for you. Hope your older players play well enough to win ball games now and draft younger guys to win in a few years. Literally every team is trying to do this. Some are more successful than others.

but give GM Rod Graves and his play-the-kids coach, Ken Whisenhunt, credit. Arizona has supplanted veteran Edgerrin James with a pile-driving rookie, Tim Hightower, from Richmond, and invented a third option in the passing game, Steve Breaston.

You may think Steve Breaston went to Michigan and was a good receiver for them. You are wrong. The Cardinals invented this man out of nothing, just like in "Weird Science," except the Cardinals did not need an attractive woman to teach them the ropes of dating, they needed a third receiving option and a kick returner. So they put in the calculations and after a few computer explosions, out walks Steve Breaston who plays for the Cardinals and is now being mentioned by the Ernest Hemingway of football writers, Peter King. You may wonder what happened to the other Steve Breaston, the one from Michigan. He was murdered and buried in a shallow grave because he was not what the Cardinals needed on their football team, but they kept his name because they really, really liked it. Hey, progress has a price.

New GM Thomas Dimitroff in Atlanta gambled on draft day -- quarterback Matt Ryan over franchise defensive tackle Glenn Dorsey, and he reached for tackle Sam Baker -- but now both picks look like gold. You'd have to go back to Peyton Manning to find a rookie quarterback as poised and full of promise as Ryan.

Huge gamble there on the consensus best quarterback in the draft.

As poised and full of promise as Peyton Manning? Peter are you blushing a little bit? Oh, you just ate a lot of pasta and are full? I thought you were blushing.

The Cassel story illustrates why the Bill Belichick/Scott Pioli way is so effective. If we've trusted Cassel to back up Brady, why don't we trust him to play?

Because there may be another QB that is better than Cassel. It turned out there was not, but it was a possibility.

If Cassel gets hurt at some point down the stretch, or when he leaves in free-agency after the season, the Patriots will put 2008 third-round pick Kevin O'Connell under center, or use him to back up Brady. The quarterback is develop-able. That's the New England mantra. Brady got developed. Cassel got developed. And O'Connell will too.

Yeah, Brady got "developed" that one year he was a backup QB. That's all it took, just like that "Weird Science" machine, the Patriots are able to look into the eyes of a rookie and see if they are developable. I would certainly hope you draft a QB in the 3rd round that is developable. I think every team is trying to do this, again, some are just more successful than others.

When you send your kid to play high school football, you just hope he gets those kind of unselfish team values he'll need in life drilled into him.

Peter King never had a son, but if he did, he would have drilled all kinds of values into his son's friends while they were in the shed alone.

2. Tennessee (8-0). You want depth? With the Titans clinging to a 13-10 lead and Green Bay trying to get a drive going, no-name defensive end Jacob Ford burst through the line to sack Aaron Rodgers and strip the ball from him. And no-name linebacker Stephen Tulloch picked it up.

They are not no names because I have heard of both of them. I am going to start being egotistical like Peter now.

Kasay is an original Panther, having kicked in the first game in franchise history in 1995. If he finishes out the contract, he'll have played for the Panthers two years longer than Brett Favre played for the Packers.

Is this seriously the best comparison or does King Peter really just have to talk about Brett Favre at every single opportunity? Look for John Kasay to have "an unfortunate accident" near the end of his second year in this contract so he never gets to tie Brett Favre at anything.

On another subject: I said on NBC last night that Matt Cassel will be in a unique position after the season. In this day and age, it's highly rare that a young starting quarterback, playing well, would hit the open market. But Cassel, 26, will almost certainly not be tagged by the Patriots after the season, and the team will risk losing him unless Tom Brady looks like he'll have problems returning from his knee surgery for the start of the 2009 season.
Why? Because the Patriots have a system in place, a system that calls for them to draft players to replace those who leave as rich free-agents. In this case, they'll simply train 2008 third-round pick Kevin O'Connell to replace Cassel and some team out there will pay Cassel $7 million or $8 million a year to be their quarterback of the future.

You may ask, didn't we just finish talking about the magical "system" the Patriots have in place earlier in this column? You may also wonder why the other teams in the league do not do this. The answer is that all teams do this but King Peter doesn't realize this. He thinks the Patriots are magical and special because they have forsight that other teams do not. This is not true, the Patriots just are currently making smart personnel moves to replace free agents who leave. It really is as simple as that.

Gallant win by the Colts on Sunday night. Playoff-saving win. Not a lot of differentiation between the teams, I didn't think ... and the Patriots had the dropped sure touchdown pass by Jabar Gaffney and the 15-yard deadball-foul penalty on David Thomas on third-and-short, in field-goal range in a three-point game.

Hey, it's like the "what if" game Bill Simmons likes to play! Let's play: What if Ben Roethlisberger did not trip Nick Harper in the 2006 playoff game? What if John Kasay did not kick the ball out of bounds against the Patriots in the 2004 Super Bowl? What if the Colts took Ryan Leaf instead of Peyton Manning?

Do you know what this really all means? Absolutely nothing and King Peter is a moron.

15. (tie) New York Jets (5-3). Three-hundredth career pick by Favre, and from the looks of him after the game, he didn't much care.

Because he is a gun slinger and that is how he rolls bitch. The consummate team player who doesn't care about his stats, he just wants to try and make the riskiest play possible.

Aaron Rodgers just got a contract extension until 2012. Just thought I would mention that.

He's comfortable with everything offensive coordinator Mike Mularkey calls, and his only weakness through the first half of the season is accuracy. Otherwise, Ryan's been so far better than Mike Smith or anyone else with the Falcons ever hoped.

What is King Peter's fascination with QB's who have accuracy problems? If he were a girl in the 1950's he would have hung out with the guys who smoked and drove very fast cars. Also, King Peter would have probably gotten pregnant at a young age, become over weight, and eventually become a housemother to young orphaned children who would look up to his expertise at raising children.

Also, Matt Ryan did this against the Raiders. They suck.

I don't care that Atlanta played the god-awful Raiders.

I do. The competition often determines how good a QB is.

the Cowboys should have either drafted a decent one in the last couple of years and developed him under an excellent QB coach in Jason Garrett, or acquired a younger one than Johnson, who's 40. This fact absolutely amazes me: The Cowboys have not drafted a quarterback in seven years.

It is "draft and develop a young QB" week at MMQB, I hope you are all enjoying it as much as I am.

Detroit defensive coordinator Joe Barry, under attack for having the worst statistical defense in the league this season, told Lions beat writers the other day that Detroit's 35 worst defensive snaps in their first seven games this year had yielded 1,202 total yards -- 41 percent of the yardage allowed by the defense. "So when you hear the head coach talk about 'we're this close ... it's the little things,' it is,'' Barry told reporters.

Well, if I were nine inches taller, much thinner and could drain 22-footers with a hand in my face, I'd have been Larry Bird.

Remember you said if Jabar Gaffney had not dropped the touchdown pass and if David Thomas did not have the penalty the Patriots would have won? Remember this Captain Contradiction? Now you are mocking someone for doing the same thing you did? King Peter even mentioned the Gaffney and Thomas events twice in his column.

Anybody coaching defense in the NFL would be Belichick-like if he could call "Mulligan'' on his worst five plays each week.

I think we can all agree King Peter is not Bill Simmons, but the constant references to New England his columns is a little overwhelming at times. He mentions them or Belichick 10 separate times in the column.

Aggravating/Enjoyable Travel Note of the Week

I had neither an enjoyable or aggravating story this week, which must disappoint you. No aggressive drivers sneaking up to rattle me on the Garden State Parkway, no pleasant flight attendant surprising me with courtesy (probably because I have not flown in the past seven days), no strange occurrences at stoplights in Manhattan. I'll try to do better next week.

I am not disappointed but the fine old gentleman in North Dakota is probably very disappointed he can't email you and talk about the way things used to be.

Remember 5 years until we get blow-by-blow analysis of the color of Peter's stool.

I wanted to know what jumped out at him about the Packers. "Other than the numbers on their backs, what I noticed is how similar Aaron Rodgers is to Favre,'' he said. "They throw the same kind of routes. You know, that crazy handoff and then fake throw that Favre used to do? Rodgers does that. He sure doesn't play like a first-year starter.''

I laughed at Schwartz when he said this. Then he told me, "Peter it is very true, Rodgers even doesn't take some of the gambles that Favre did while still putting up comparable statist-"

It was at that point I stabbed the defensive coordinator for the Titans in the head with my pen repeatedly and poured hot soy latte (with little cinnamon bits on top) on his head so no one would recognize his face. This would give me at least a day's head start to find a safe house.

I made those last two paragraphs up. Now I can use the "Peter King commits random murders" tag though...and you know he wanted to stab Schwartz when he compared Favre to Rodgers and said they were similar.

The Way We Were

Jeff Garcia vs. Fran Tarkenton.
No one would think of Garcia as the heir to Tarkenton, who retired in 1978 as the NFL's all-time passing yardage leader with 47,003.

Probably because they are nothing alike.

d. The smartest pro football player about college football players is St. Louis strong safety Corey Chavous, who is Kiperish in his study of the college game.

e. I don't watch much college football, but that was one riveting game Saturday between Texas and Texas Tech. And as my favorite college scout Chavous said after watching 6-2, 205-pound Graham Harrell's typically ridiculous 35-of-52, 476-yard performance to shock top-ranked Texas: "He's a lot more polished than [former Tech spread QBs] B.J. Symons, Kliff Kingsbury, Sonny Cumbie or Cody Hodges. He's poised. I think he'll play on Sundays. He'll probably be a mid-round pick with a solid postseason.''

You have to always question a player who plays in the spread offense when it comes to NFL numbers. Sorry, you just do.

I don't know. He looked better than that to me, and if his size is legit and he throws the 15-yard out with zip, he's certainly got an NFL future.

According to King Peter a mid round selection is not "an NFL future." What is wrong with being a mid round selection? I thought Peter was all about choosing a QB and then "developing" that QB? He has spent the entire column wondering why more teams don't do this and now a mid round selection is not enough to have an NFL future.

Obviously Ted Cottrell was not bringing enough heat on the passer -- San Diego was dead last in passing yards allowed per game -- and he had to go.

King Peter, the resident football genius, did not think about the fact maybe Cottrell was bringing too much heat at the passer and that is why they were giving up all the yardage in the air. Not saying this is true, but couldn't the Chargers have been blitzing a lot and leaving open the field for big plays through the air? Maybe?

He and Shaun Phillips and Luis Castillo need to get turned loose on the passer by new coordinator Ron Rivera.

Castillo is a defensive lineman in the 3-4 system, so I am pretty sure he is let loose on the passer at a high rate right now. Also, more blitzing can sometimes lead to big plays, especially if you blitz a linebacker and the QB reads it and hits an open receiver. I am not a football expert, but the real solution to a lot of passing yards allowed is a stronger front four, not necessarily blitzing the linebackers more. This includes the 3-4 defense in my opinion.

i. Donovan McNabb just had the quietest 349-yard passing day of his career. That's what happens when you win in Seattle over an irrelevant Seahawks team.

I wish we could get a follow up on the "Mike Holmgren is a great coach and Seattle is such a successful team that no one pays attention to" lecture we got from Peter earlier in the year.

b. Fourth-and-one, Green Bay at the Tennessee 45, first quarter, Pack goes for it, Aaron Rodgers tries to sneak one over the shoulder of safety Chris Hope to tight end Jermichael Finley.

I would bet $1,000 Gregg Easterbrook is going to talk about this in his TMQ column tomorrow. Actually I would bet he will criticize them for the play call but compliment them for going for it on fourth down.

h. Rookie quarterbacks Joe Flacco and Matt Ryan just beat JaMarcus Russell 53-10 in an eight-day period. Not to pile on Russell or anything.

JaMarcus Russell sucks, nearly everyone can agree on this fact. Oakland could not have drafted Flacco or Ryan because they were not available in the draft when Oakland had the #1 selection. Oakland could not have ignored the need for a QB in the first round and just hoped some random QB from Delaware or Matt Ryan would be available the following year. Not to be Bill Simmons, but they should have drafted Brady Quinn or traded back for him and gotten more draft picks, but they can't use the magical hindsight 20/20 vision goggles you have, nor should you compare these three QB's as if the Raiders had a choice to draft any of them.

Well, they could have drafted Flacco this year but I think #4 was a bit high for him.

Read this:

a. I was in the upper deck, down the left-field line, for Game 5 of the World Series at Citizen Bank Park, and I'd say the same thing to Bud Selig about making us sit in a driving rainstorm with strong gusting winds for an hour before calling the game as I'd say to every airline CEO about making us sit in center seats in coach for five-hour flights: You have totally lost touch with the common customer,

and now read this:

Read somewhere the other day Starbucks is trying to figure out why they're struggling in a lot of stores, and why Dunkin Donuts and other coffee places are making inroads on the big boys. I don't think it's the cost of a $3.70 latte. I really don't.

Of course it is the $3.70 latte that tastes as good/if not worse then a cheaper coffee at a place with scrumdiddlyumptious donuts. Don't chastise others for being out of touch and then doing the same thing yourself.

i. Watching hockey or baseball NOT in high-def is like watching it through a foggy window.

Oh I know. Everyone should plop down $120/month for high definition television. Why so much? Because cable companies of course package this with their upper echelon services to get you to spend more money. I will not even start on cable companies because I would bore you even more than I do currently.

k. Three Halloween notes: Patriots PR man Stacey James' 7-year-old son, Jonathan, dressed as Bill Belichick -- and the best part of it was Jonathon stuffing the red replay flag in his sock

Shouldn't he had binoculars or just started lying about whether his players were hurt or not? I am sorry, no more bashing.

Kids are coming later and later. We had our last at 9:42 p.m. That's 18 minutes shy of my bedtime, kids -- and it's an unwanted interruption of Family Guy on the DVR.

Holy shit, you can pause DVR. You are old, shut up.

m. Vote, vote, vote. Please vote. If you love this country, vote. If you have some problems with this country, vote. If you want to read an interesting and compelling reason why you should vote, log on and read the lead to my Tuesday column. You'll love what Scott Fujita of the Saints says about voting.

America, the only place in the land where you can get 10 different types of salad dressings to put on top of your salad but are stuck with two shitty options for who is going to run your country. Ok, not the only place this happens, but still we demand options in every part of our life, but not in who we choose to run the country.

Oh, and Peter King sucks.