MMQB Review: Peter Drops All Pretense And Just Moves To Boston; Citizens Ready Their Torches

Today is the 1 year anniversary of this here blog. I have eaten some birthday cake in celebration, so please no gifts. I started it last year so I could have someone to bitch to because everyone in my life was tired of hearing me talk and make the same points over and over, so I thought I would make strangers suffer instead. I enjoy writing here but I still don't know if it is at the point I want it to be yet. I write encyclopediac posts and then think I should write smaller posts, but then I would write them more frequently and no one would have time to comment on what I wrote previously (which still happens), so it is a mindfuck for me. Thanks to everyone for reading and commenting either critically or non-critically of me and what I wrote.

I would go through a year long perspective of a couple fun events that have happened in this space over the past year but its Monday, which means Monday Morning Quarterback and we learn Peter King is moving to Boston. Starbucks has opened four new stores in anticipation and local municipalities are making sure all stop signs are visible at four way stops.

"T.O.''

Bills chief operating office Russ Brandon woke up sometime after midnight Friday morning and noticed there was a text message on his cell phone. So he reached over and looked. It was from Trent Edwards, the quarterback of the Bills. "T.O.''

That's all it said.

Brandon shot back with this: "?''

"T.O. was released. Go get him,'' Edwards texted back.

Trent Edwards is incredibly bossy. If I were Russ Brandon I would have texted back, "Who is going to throw the ball to him? You? Haha...maybe will win run single wing with Lynch...haha..."

I am kidding of course, because I like Trent Edwards, and he made some real progress as a quarterback this year, but really, should he be telling the front office what to do?

ESPN donated 7 minutes to this Saturday night and was mentioning that now the Bills are going to be on national television more because of T.O. Is that really necessary? Is there anyone in the world not tired of him? During ESPN's 7 minute documentary on Terrell Owens there was a group of clips that showed his antics over the years and then of course it showed the two anchors who were speaking of Owens in a semi-condescending manner, like he was just a side show. I found it terribly ironic because they had spent nearly 7 minutes of their show talking about a man who they clearly had no respect for, but he gave them ratings so they talked about him. I just found it odd and I don't know why.

1. The Bills think Jauron is the perfect coach -- calm but commanding -- to handle Mount Terrell.

Yes, Steve Mariucci, Andy Reid, Bill Parcells, and Wade Phillips they were not the perfect coaches to handle him, but Dick Jauron he is the guy to do it. Jauren has done such a great job keeping Marshawn Lynch out of trouble I can see how Owens will be no trouble.

Given that it is a one year deal, I don't think Owens will be a problem. That list of coaches who could not control Owens is pretty esteemed though.

2. The organization is sick of perpetually being one weapon away from catching New England (and Miami and the Jets, as it turns out), and it's willing to take the risk of having Owens ruin the locker room so it can have a chance to win the division.

If Bill Simmons wrote this article he would end this sentence with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, your 2009 Buffalo Bills."

It's been 10 years since their last playoff playoff appearance. They're the Washington Generals to the Patriots.

Sure, that reference makes sense. Especially since the Patriots won the division last year. I think if we look at these numbers, we can see the Bills have a lifetime .417 winning percentage against the Patriots and a .400 lifetime winning percentage against the Dolphins. So the Bills are the actually a better example of the Washington Generals to the Dolphins' Harlem Globetrotters. I am sure there is a team in the NFL that has a much worse winning percentage against an NFL team than 40%, so even the Bills-Dolphins are not the most one sided matchup. I was just too lazy to look this up.

Whew! Every week it is so hard to see if Peter's references are true or not and I think I actually got one right.

We'll see. Owens and Lee Evans (last three seasons: 200 catches, 16.0 yards-per-catch) could be a formidable duo, but Edwards is going to find out early that he'll need to throw the ball to Owens more than Evans.

Teams are going to go out of their way making sure Owens doesn't get the ball as well, so maybe the Bills can have a Cowboys type implosion. If Terrell Owens did not like how Jeff Garcia, Donovan McNabb, and Tony Romo got him the ball, just wait until he gets the Trent Edwards experience. Granted it is only one year but Edwards is the most unaccomplished quarterback Owens has played with in a while.

One year is smart. More than that, history tells us, is stupid.

Exactly. This is very right.

Drew Rosenhaus, who I would like to punch in the face, was so not right when he said there was tons of teams who had an interest in Owens. He took a one year deal in Buffalo. Buffalo...for...one...year.

I asked Fitzgerald whether, five weeks later, the Super Bowl loss still stung. It seemed an odd time to ask the question, with him being on the other side of the world and doing some real good, but I asked anyway.

Peter King can't control his own thoughts. I wonder if this is his reasoning for being so in love with Brett Favre over the years.

"I showed up at Brett Favre's family Thanksgiving dinner, knocked on the window while they were in the dining room eating, and though it seemed like a bizarre time to ask him this, wondered if he would move to Montana with me and live like two men are naturally supposed to live."

"I can tell you this,'' he said, chuckling over the phone. "I'll never go the whole first half without a catch again in a Super Bowl.

Now there is a promise an athlete can probably keep. The odds of Fitzgerald going to the Super Bowl again are not great and the odds of his wonderfully brilliant offensive coordinator not making an effort to get him the ball are even worse.

John Kasay promised Panthers fans he would never kick the ball out of bounds in the Super Bowl again and Chris Webber promised he would never call timeout in the National Championship Game again. So far both have been able to live up to their promises.

He has 426 catches. He doesn't turn 26 'til a week before the 2009 season. It sounds heretical, but with that kind of attitude, he's got a chance, if he stays healthy and in the right offense, to make a run at Rice's record of 1,549 catches.

His father would still not stand up in the press box and clap for him if he did this. Though he would write 25 articles per year about his son, but then he is just doing his job and not being an uber-fan.

Kerry Collins will pass Joe Montana on the all-time passing yards list this year if he throws for 3,159 yards. Does anyone else find that amazing?

Dammit, I could not find the link for this, but I pointed this out a few weeks ago. Man yourselves Armageddon is nigh' and the first sportswriter that writes a "Kerry Collins should be in the Hall of Fame" article is getting smacked in head.

"I am going to be the same person that I was for the last three years with the Cowboys. I demand a lot from myself and from the guys around me. I'm sure those guys ... that I was with for the last three years all know that whatever is being said out there, it's not accurate.''--(Terrell) Owens.

I wonder what it is like to go through life and have absolutely no knowledge about what type of person you are and how others perceive you? I see it every day at my job but how out of touch with the world can you be that you don't even know how others perceive you?

I also wonder what it would be like to be able to say whatever random shit that comes out of your life in cliched sentences and not have anyone call you out on it.

My next question as a reporter in this room would be, "so ESPN is lying about your attempts to kill yourself or that you took too many pills...they made all that up, your quotes made on the radio about Jessica Simpson were fabricated, and your teammates will admit they lied about the comments that you divided the locker room? That is what you are saying?"

Factoid of the Week That May Interest Only Me

I wish I could pay more attention to the World Baseball Classic.

This is actually a perfect factoid, which we all know now is a comment that is borderline factual statement. It is actually perfect because Peter gives us no reason why he can't watch the WBC and he apparently can DVR Family Guy and the other shows he likes to watch, so why can't he watch the WBC?

It doesn't really matter to me, I just find it interesting he wants to watch something and feels strongly enough to mention it in his weekly column and he has DVR, but still doesn't watch it.

America's Adam Dunn said after the U.S. hung on Saturday to beat Canada in Toronto, 6-5. "This is the best experience I've ever had in baseball.'' And this is a guy who hits 40 home runs every year.

This is also a guy who has played his entire career for the Cincinnati Reds and is playing for the Washington Nationals this year. You have to understand where he is coming from. Being in playoff contention in August would also qualify for this honor.

The Kings are relocating to Boston.

I thought he meant the Sacramento Kings at first. Stupid me for being so focused on sports on a sports web site reading a column devoted to sports.

So the fact Peter King is moving to Boston, does that mean I can make fun of him more for being in love with New England and make fun of him for being a Red Sox fan? I think it does.

That incredibly loud gasp you heard was the entire of Massachusetts in shock that now they are going to have the King clan sharing their home state. They need to import a lot more coffee in preparation.

Being a 26-minute walk from Fenway didn't hurt in the deliberations.

It's actually only two blocks away. Peter is not as skinny as Kate Moss and probably gets tired and has to stop in Starbucks twice on the way.

5. Sitting on the back deck on an early-summer night, around June 20th, having the fifth beer, and enjoying the trees and the talk.

Then asking Brett for the fifth time in 10 minutes if he doesn't want to share a tent in the backyard.

6. The Upper Montclair Starbucks. It's sure to close without me propping it up.

He is kidding...I think. It would be funny if it did close after he left though.

I will not miss moving. The pain. The humanity. The sore back.

I find it hard to believe Peter King is moving himself. Either that or Peter King is having pangs of sympathy for other people, in which case this is a very nice thing for him to do. Clearly, I just believe he is lying when he infers he is moving himself.

2. I think the Cowboys had a good week, pressing the ejector button on Owens and signing versatile defensive lineman Igor Olshanky, who is a better buy at $4.5 million a year than Chris Canty at $7 million.

I think that is an incredibly good buy for Olshansky. I like him a lot and if he fit in with my favorite team's defense (4-3 with no blitzing, soft zones, 8 yards off the receiver...basically a prevent defense) I wish they would have tried to sign him. This is why I think the second tier of free agency is much more exciting than the first tier. You get so much more quality at a lower price. It's like Target.

I think if you're still looking at conspiracy theories about why the Patriots would trade Matt Cassel and Mike Vrabel for just a second-round draft choice, and you can't accept the three big reasons I gave you last week...Mike Vrabel had a $1 million roster bonus in his contract on March 1. That's 48 hours after the start of free-agency. The Patriots did not want to pay that bonus, obviously. So a trade had to get done by Saturday night, Feb. 28, and one got done Saturday afternoon, and it was the Chiefs that ended up paying the million to Vrabel.

As I have said repeatedly I don't care what the Patriots do with their players, it is their right, but trading Vrabel and Cassel quickly so you can avoid paying a $1 million dollar bonus to one of those players when there is almost $16 million dollars coming off the books makes borderline sense. Sure you want to get rid of that money, but if you can get an extra draft pick or two by waiting, I say do it. That being said, they did what they wanted and it is done.

5. I think the Redskins didn't get enough criticism the other day for whacking Jason Taylor. Ridiculous -- unless they were sure he couldn't perform at a high level because of his recent injury history.

So Peter wants to criticize the Redskins for cutting a guy who had 3.5 sacks last year, is going to be 35 next year, and only seemed to have a semi-interest in playing football professionally any more? I know Taylor could have a great year but he was also supposed to be make $8.5 million dollars this year. That's a lot for his production last year. I am not completely agreeing with the decision to release Jason Taylor, just pointing this type stuff out in response to Peter's strong response.

If you pay second- and sixth-round picks for a guy one year removed from being defensive player of the year, you define short-sighted. That is no way to build a team.

I don't really agree with releasing Jason Taylor but I disagree with this reasoning much more. Just because you overpay for a guy doesn't mean you should keep that guy on your roster to continue to try and justify this mistake. That is no way to build a team, keeping guys around who you don't believe are going to contribute to the team because you don't want to admit you are wrong. I think Taylor should have had one more year, but for performance reasons, not because the Redskins don't want to have egg on their face.

7. I think if I were Chris Simms, I'd have stayed in Nashville. Kerry Collins has a year, maybe two, left. And I don't see Vince Young playing there long-term. I just don't.

Two great investigative journalism calls here by Peter.

First, he believes Kerry Collins who just signed a new two year contract two weeks ago, will be in Tennessee another year or two. What a brilliant conclusion.

Second, Peter doesn't see Vince Young in Tennessee long term. I don't know whether the fact the Titans just gave a 36 year old quarterback a two year contract to be the starter, Young will have on year left on his contract when Collins' contract runs out, or the fact he will be owed $7.5 million in 2010 and the Titans are not going to pay him that to be a backup quarterback originally clued Peter into the fact that Young has seemingly no future in Tennessee.

Either way, Chris Simms would have been wise to stay in Tennessee, Peter King is correct about that, but this was one of his patented, "I am going to base this conclusion on something obvious but act as if it is not" statements.

8. I think LaDainian Tomlinson to the Saints makes all the sense in the world. Pierre Thomas takes 10 utilitarian carries a game, Reggie Bush gets 15 touches, and Tomlinson fulfills the Fred Taylor role -- the veteran who one game might carry it 23 times and the next might touch it six times. That'd keep him fresh and productive.

Brees, Tomlinson, Bush, and Colston on the same offense. No thanks, I am good. This doesn't have to happen.

If this happens look for a page and a half article by Peter King on how ironic it is that Brees and Tomlinson are playing together again. I am kidding, he hardly knows the Saints exist. If it were another couple of teams, then this could happen, but the only reason he goes near Louisiana is to see Brett Favre in Mississippi.

9. I think Tomlinson staying in San Diego makes no sense. He'll never be a 300-carry guy again, and A.J. Smith cannot pay for production of two and three years ago.

He can't fulfill the Fred Taylor role in San Diego? Why can he do this in New Orleans but not San Diego? If he is willing to take a pay cut, why not just stay where he is and take the pay cut, rather than move?

10. I think I'll many more some non-football thoughts next week, but I'll leave you with this one: Moving, at 51, has a certain energizing quality to it, and I'm excited.

As I said, he is hiring someone to move him. I still have nightmares from my last move from my room to the attic.

Happy Birthday to this crappy blog! I am taking it out later tonight for drinks if anyone wants to come.