10 Things I Think I Think Peter King Has Not Thought Of: Bad Journalism All-Stars Edition

I have a bunch of bookmarked columns that have little tidbits of bad journalism present in them so I feel the need to share them with the world and express my displeasure at their content. The Bad Journalism All-Stars in this case are Jay Mariotti, Rick Reilly, Bill Simmons, and Wallace Matthews and each will present evidence of their wrongness.

1. Among many other things in the world that he hates, Jay Mariotti also hates Kentucky basketball and quite possibly the entire state of Kentucky. He calls Kentucky the worst job in college hoops. Saying:

The coaching profession should take notes. Kentucky is a bad, bad job.

Fortunately he thinks John Calipari is Superman and can save Kentucky using his borderline ethical recruiting methods and complete disregard for the idea of a student-athlete. I realize other coaches are bad, but no coach flagrantly flaunts how he doesn't care how many one-and-done players he recruits like Calipari. He basically mocks the semi-fake idea of the student-athlete in college athletics.

And John Calipari needs Kentucky because, well, he still isn't roundly accepted as an elite coach, a perception he'll change if he resurrects a fallen dynasty.

You mean coaching in the Atlantic-10 and Conference USA doesn't prove Calipari is an elite coach? There is nothing like recruiting one-and-done players at Memphis and beating up on inferior competition and then bitching about his team getting no respect. I guess he can't do that anymore. Well, actually the SEC is still pretty weak.

Did you notice the 48-hour vigil outside his home, when a fan placed a sign with two messages -- "NOT FOR SALE BY OWNER" and "STAY CAL" -- in the front yard? Five police cars had to block off part of the street, positioned to fend off TV camera crews.

Seriously, college fans do this for every successful coach. Calipari is a good coach but desperate attempts to keep a successful college coach around are nothing new.

No one should be shocked if Calipari makes immediate impact in the suddenly limp Southeastern Conference. His glittering recruiting class at Memphis includes two blue-chippers, 6-11 center DeMarcus Cousins and 6-6 wing Xavier Henry, who could leave for Kentucky.

Cousins has already announced he is following Calipari to Kentucky, despite the fact Kentucky had never been mentioned as a possible destination for him prior to this. Oh, and I have Cousins as being 6 foot 9 inches. Not that it really matters.

It hardly was coincidence that Pitino, when asked last weekend at the Midwest Regional, endorsed two of his former Kentucky players for the job: Oklahoma State coach Travis Ford and Arkansas coach John Pelphrey. Think he wants any part of the Calipari Storm?

Yeah, I am sure that Rick Pitino is absolutely scared of John Calipari. What great proof Jay has here. Pitino campaigned for two guys who played for him at Kentucky to get the head coaching job at the University of Kentucky, rather than a guy who is best known for bringing in good NBA prospects and watching them leave after a year or two. His endorsement of Ford and Pelphrey had nothing to do with him not wanting to coach against Calipari and more to do with the fact he wants Kentucky alumni, and his former players, to succeed in getting the Kentucky job.

"Everybody looks for these marquee names, big names. I think football got really smart,'' Pitino said. "Instead of looking for the marquee names, they went after guys that can really coach and really recruit. It takes a little bit of homework.''

I greatly dislike Rick Pitino but he has a great point here. The SEC is really a weak major basketball conference at this point, so Calipari is not really stepping up to the big time, but he is going to be coaching against teams that have talent and coaches that will be able to recruit against him successfully.

But I think Calipari is up to it. Years ago, he was something of a punk, engaging rival coach John Chaney in an embarrassing press-conference screaming match and running a program, Massachusetts, that was forced to vacate a Final Four berth when Marcus Camby took gifts from an agent.

Remember Kentucky, this is the coach Jay thinks you "need." What does this say about his opinion of you all?

And then, maybe he and all those crazy people in the Commonwealth will find peace for once in their basketball lives.

Crazy basketball fans in Kentucky...how dare you be passionate about your team. You should be a narcissistic asshole who only cares about himself like Jay.

2. Rick Reilly writes a puff piece on Hasheem Thabeet and pretty much calls him a wimp and momma's boy. He can't even write a puff piece correctly.

"I do not know how to control this," grins Thabeet (thaa-BEET). "Maybe I'll be mean enough someday."

Unlikely.

Maybe Rick Reilly will write meaningful columns one day.

Unlikely.

On most any day at UConn, Ucan see The Beast in the Student Union quad, eating lunch, surrounded by 12 to 15 students, all of them giggling. He absorbs everything, a kind of SpongeBob Tall Pants.

Dear God...I can't believe he gets paid to call athletes SpongeBob Tall Pants.

Really? You? A bouncer? "Oh, no, I was terrible. The fights would start and I would run away!"

He is 7 foot 3 inches and is widely thought to be the 2nd pick in the NBA Draft. Just thought I would mention that. He would run away from a fight if he was a bouncer.

You begin to see the problem.

He is a pussy? I like how Reilly writes an entire article about Thabeet and only brings up the negative aspects of his personality...but in a comical manner like they don't really matter or could possibly affect his NBA career.

Although, in UConn's Elite Eight win over Missouri last weekend, Thabeet hurt his ring finger going after a loose ball. The way he flailed around, you'd have thought he lost an eyeball.

He should do perfectly fine in the NBA. Feel free to go ahead and draft him NBA team. He is worth millions of dollars...he can make you giggle!

"Well, if you let him," says Doran. "He'll roll clear to the other bucket."

Note to Thabeet, when NBA teams are interviewing your college coaches and professors, don't let them interview Dolan. He thinks you are wimp.

Mean or not, he and his Boeing wingspan are second in the nation in blocks this season.

Ask Greg Oden, the NBA is a completely different creature. If the players don't fear you just a little bit, you are going to be tested nightly. Scouts compare him to Dikembe Mutumbo but the difference is that Mutumbo has broken tons of noses with flailing elbows and doesn't care about a person's body getting injured. Thabeet would cry about it for a few days.

I want to nominate Rick Reilly for worst puff piece ever. After this piece I am second guessing Thabeet's prospects in the NBA.

3. Wallace Matthews thinks Joba (or as I call him "Future Fatty") should be in the bullpen and not the starting rotation. Even if I agreed, which I don't, his argument doesn't make sense.

Joba Chamberlain had his best outing of the spring Tuesday,, limiting the Reds to five hits and two runs in 51/3 innings. He was so good, in fact, that he pitched the Yankees almost to the point where, ideally, Joba Chamberlain would come into the game.

Wallace Matthews has finally discovered one of the main positive arguments for cloning. Congrats Wally.

Not even Joba, as good as he is, can fill two roles at once. He can start a game or he can finish it.

Great observation. This also goes for every other pitcher that plays the sport of baseball. Also, Joba Chamberlain will never be "finishing" baseball games as long as Mariano Rivera is on the Yankee roster. In the middle of Wallace's bad argument he makes a point that is false. I could maybe see his argument if Joba was actually finishing games but he is not. He is the set up guy for Rivera, thereby making him more valuable as a starter in my eyes.

The Yankees, who have an abundance of guys to start their games this year,

But are they as good as Joba at starting games? If not, he needs to start.

In four out of every five starts, they are going to need a guy to come charging out of that bullpen in the seventh inning to hold the game until the closer gets there.

There is no point in having Joba "hold the game" if the Yankees are losing because Philip Hughes has given up 6 runs in 5 innings of work and the Yankees are losing.

Greater baseball minds than mine have analyzed this situation at great length and determined that Joba for the first six innings every five days is better than Joba out of the bullpen five times a week.

Again, if Wallace did not have his head up his ass, his argument may have more merit. I really, really doubt the Yankees would use Joba out of the bullpen 5 times in a week. That would add up to about 120 appearances for Joba, and around 180 innings, since they use him for more than one inning at a time.

Many can start; few can finish. Joba can finish. He was a great setup man, and someday he'll be a great closer. Those commodities are a lot scarcer on the market than starting pitchers.

Undoubtedly, absolutely completely false. I think it is much easier to find a closer who is competent than it is to find a great starting pitcher. Also, Joba Chamberlain is not finishing for the Yankees this year. Of course, part of Wallace's idiocy is that he wants "a" starting pitcher, not necessarily a good starting pitcher, which is absolutely moronic. Sure you can find any starting pitcher on the market but you can also find any closer as well. Why you would trade a great starting pitcher for a great closer, especially when you already have a great closer, is beyond me.

In 1996, they wrote the book on the art of shortening the game. The nightly relay team - starting pitcher to Rivera to John Wetteland - was more reliable than Tinker to Evers to Chance. It forced every one of their opponents into the hurry-up offense, every night.

If you didn't get those Yankees within six innings, you weren't getting them at all, and the numbers bear it out - the record of the 1996 world champions was 70-3 in games they led after six.

This record is because of great STARTING PITCHING! Starting fucking pitcher, not great relievers. The starters pitched the first six innings and then the great bullpen did not give up the lead, but the great starting pitching gave them the lead after the sixth inning.

With the Yankees having added CC Sabathia and A.J. Burnett to the rotation alongside a healthy Chien-Ming Wang, seeing Andy Pettitte have a strong spring and even Phil Hughes pitch well enough to qualify for the fifth spot in most rotations, including the Mets', it just doesn't seem to make much sense to continue with an experiment when they have already seen the real thing.

Sure, because relying on Burnett and Wang to stay healthy and Pettitte and Hughes to be effective starting pitchers...those are just givens. You don't need Chamberlain when he is actually the 4th best starter on the team, put him in the bullpen though, where he can pitch in situations where the Yankees are behind.

Last year, freed from the stifling caution of The Joba Rules, he broke down about 90 innings into his first year as a starter. Even before the injury, he went beyond six innings only once in 12 starts. This spring, his velocity has fluctuated from the mid-90s down to the high 80s.

If he can't handle starting games, that's a different story, but as long as he can pitch five to six innings, I think the starting rotation is the best place for him. There is no point in having him in the bullpen if he only comes in the game when the Yankees are losing because of bad starting pitching. If given the choice between him as a good starter or a great reliever, I would choose having him as a starter.

4. Wallace Matthews will not let it drop. He thinks because Joba got pinched for DUI, he should be in the bullpen. Goodbye logic!

You'll recall that Joba was caught driving blotto, an open bottle of Crown Royal on the passenger seat next to him, last Oct. 18 in Lincoln, Neb.

You'll also recall that, after some wrangling by the Yankees so as not to disrupt Joba's precious turn in the spring rotation, the case was disposed of with probation and a suspended license.

Yes, the Yankees bought off the Nebraska courts. This has nothing to do with any type of attorney that Chamberlain might have hired.

You want to get upset about a legitimate issue regarding Joba Chamberlain?

Then stamp your feet, pound your desk and wonder when in hell the Yankees are going to realize that the benefits of adding Joba to their starting rotation are far outweighed by the risk of removing him from their bullpen?

Oh yeah, forget the public risk of driving intoxicated. That's no big deal. The real big, important issue at hand here is whether Joba Chamberlain should be successful in the bullpen or as a starter.

As ironclad evidence, I submit Monday afternoon's season-opening 10-5 loss to the Orioles.

You mean the game where the lack of quality starting pitching doomed the Yankees from the beginning of the game?

Our Yankees beat writer, Kat O'Brien, tells me I have to get off this, but as much as I respect her knowledge of this team, I think we're just going to have to agree to disagree on this issue until one of us is proven right.

I would not say she has been proven right based on that first game, but I will say it can't hurt her case that much.

With the Yankees trailing only 6-5 after seven innings, all the momentum had shifted from the home team to the visitors. There seemed to be no way the dreadful Orioles bullpen could protect that one-run lead, and no way the Yankees could fail to win that ballgame.

Except the Orioles did protect the lead and the Yankees failed to win the baseball game. The Yankees scored ZERO more runs. It doesn't matter if the Yankees had brought Whitey Ford out of the bullpen, they would have still lost because of shitty starting pitching. Joba Chamberlain doesn't get to bat, he can't score more runs for the Yankees.

Last April, Joba would have come out of the pen to pitch the eighth, and maybe the seventh, and a game that appeared lost after five innings would have looked very much like a game the Yankees were fated to win.

Wrong. The Yankees did not score any more runs, so this is a null and void point because they would have lost no matter what they did. Joba could have thrown 2 innings and struck out the side in relief...and the Yankees would have still lost because they had shitty starting pitching. That game is a case for better starting pitching.

The team that survives outings like that from its ace and goes on to win is the team that is going places in October.

With Joba in the pen, the Yankees would have had one of those days Monday.

Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong...you are an idiot, if I may be so blunt. The Yankees would never have won the game no matter what anyone did because the Orioles outscored the Yankees. Sure the bullpen gave up more runs but it did not matter because the Yankees scored no more runs.

You got a problem with that?

I have no problem with Joba Chamberlain in the bullpen, I actually don't care where the hell he pitches. I have a problem with Wallace using logic that quality starting pitching is easy to find and the Yankees would have somehow gotten one more run if Joba had pitched in relief.

5. Bill Simmons put up one of his older articles on his blog. I don't agree with the premise and it is obvious Bill could not form an argument back then either. He thinks student-athletes should get paid.

Meanwhile, the average football or basketball player receives . . . a scholarship. By NCAA rules, players can't even have a work-study job. These athletes spend 30 to 40 hours a week on their sport (not including road trips), and any schoolwork comes on top of that. What happens if the player is from a poor family? Where does he get money?

Umm...the same place a student who plays no sports gets his money from? Also, these players are still eligible for Stafford Loans and Pell Grants, so they can use that money for personal use. I know these types of things.

Don't diminish a scholarship. The University is paying for that student's way to go to school in exchange for playing sports. I wish someone had given me a full ride to college...but apparently that's not enough for some people.

I know there is an argument for paying college athletes and I haven't thought much about it...I want us to pay attention to Bill's bad journalism. He uses the WORST athletes as examples of why student-athletes should be paid.

For instance, Georgia Tech point guard Stephon Marbury left school after his freshman year to play in the NBA. Everyone said he could probably use another year of seasoning, and the 19-year-old Marbury conceded that was true. But it wasn't the point.

"My family's broke," said Marbury, the fourth pick overall in the 1996 draft. "We need money. Now."

Poor guy. His family needs money so he has to bypass the education he only intended to get for one more year at a maximum to be a millionaire. I bet he feels so used...also Marbury in hindsight is not the most sympathetic figure for this situation.

UMass basketball star Marcus Camby was belittled in the local press for accepting jewelry and money from a prospective agent during his junior season. But he knew he'd be turning pro by summer, his family was dirt-poor, and he was leaving college soon anyway.

So if he knew he was going pro...why did he accept the money and jewelry? Also, jewelry in itself can not provide for a family that is dirt poor. Sounds to me like he just wanted cool shit and it had very little to do with his family being poor...if it did have to do with his family being poor, he would have accepted only money. Bad example Bill.

Here's my favorite part of Bill's piece though...

There's a piece in Mitch Albom's 1993 book Fab Five (Warner Books), a superb account of the early-1990s University of Michigan basketball teams, about Wolverines star Chris Webber. One day, he and a friend stop for lunch at a fast-food joint at an Ann Arbor mall. Webber orders a five-piece chicken meal, two fish sandwiches, and a drink, then reaches into his pocket and realizes he's short of cash. Embarrassed, the future NBA number-one pick changes his order to a three-piece chicken plate and one fish sandwich, and cancels the drink.

How sad. A poor college student. Didn't Bill go to an expensive private school? I thought he did.

I was a poor college student, why didn't anyone pay me for my good grades?

Hanging in the window in the store next to the restaurant is a replica of Webber's Michigan jersey, number 4. Webber and his teammates had fueled Michigan's marketing bonanza all season; kids across the country wanted to wear the team's yellow jerseys and oversized shorts. Webber and his teammates, of course, never saw a dime of the profits.

Poor Chris Webber...hold on a second! This story isn't so sad because here is what was really going on:

As a result of evidence admitted during the course of Martin's trial, Webber pled guilty to one count of criminal contempt for lying about his role in a scandal in which four players, including himself, had accepted illicit loans from Martin. Martin had been giving money to Webber since the 8th grade. He admitted in the plea that in 1994 he gave Martin about $38,000 in cash as partial repayment for expenditures Martin made on his behalf.[15]

That's right $38,000 was a PARTIAL repayment for expenditures made on Webber's behalf. I don't know about anyone reading this, but I never got that much money when I went to college. I think the saddest part about the fast food story is that Mitch Albom fell for the fact Webber was dirt poor, then Bill Simmons repeated the story and 16 years later posted it on his blog not remembering that Webber had gotten illegal payments.

Even in the old days, Bill Simmons tried to make a good point but the facts got in his way.

6. CNNSI's Truth and Rumor section is usually as accurate as the National Enquirer and when you combine it with Jose Canseco, it seems even less accurate.

It is a shame someone like Jose Canseco outed a lot of the steroid users since he is such a sleazebag himself...but he does have a little bit of credibility because his claims have generally been pretty accurate. I don't know about this one though.

Why didn't Manny Ramirez get a long-term deal? Canseco asks. Why were owners gun-shy about signing arguably the game's best hitter? Never mind that Ramirez was asking for a mega-deal at age 36. Or that he was negotiating in a sickly economy, while weighed down by the heavy baggage of a surly reputation. Canseco will have none of it.

All of those are the reasons, it has nothing to do with steroids...I don't think.

To Canseco, the drawn-out negotiation, the lack of a long-term deal, the lack of interest all raise red flags, and so he tells the Bovard crowd that Ramirez's "name is most likely, 90%," on the list.

This is where I am really torn because I think it is absurd that Canseco is just randomly naming people who could be on the steroid list in order to keep his name in the public's attention. Unfortunately, Canseco has been accurate many times in regard to who was using steroids and who was not and there are 103 more names on that list that have yet to be revealed. I don't think Manny would be on the list but then again...

7. Peter King has some interesting information in his MMQB Tuesday Edition. Of course he doesn't actually have the information, someone else obtained it and then Peter King printed it. Basically he is more of a go-between rather than an NFL insider.

Ten Nuggets Mined From Mayock

Again with this talk of food...

8. He's scared of Brian Orakpo, the Texas defensive end who's the apple of a few teams' eyes in the top half of the first round. "Buyer beware,'' Mayock said. "He's boom or bust. I don't know if he's DeMarcus Ware or Vernon Gholston. I've seen him have some really good games, and I've seen what I considered to be Brandon Pettigrew tearing him apart. The point is, I don't see it all the time from Orakpo, which concerns me.''

Orakpo, who is definitely not white, seems to have similar comments made about him that Vernon Gholston did last year. Last year I know some scouts were concerned that Gholston seemed to turn it on and off...and look how he did his first year. I am going on record as saying I am not sold on Orakpo. I have watched a fair amount of Texas games and saw him come and go in concern with his production.

9. Of the elite quarterbacks, he likes USC's Mark Sanchez the best. "He's the most ready made for the pro game right now.''

This guy knows a lot more than I do about football, but from what I saw from Mark Sanchez is a quarterback who greatly benefits from the talent around him. I don't see him as a starting quarterback in the NFL, at least from what I saw at USC.

From Doug, of Madison, Wisc.: "It sounds like Denver owner Pat Bowlen made this decision based on his feelings being hurt by Cutler ignoring him. Everyone seems fine with that. Yet the media [although you not so much] are crucifying Cutler for wanting to be traded because his feelings were hurt. Why the double standard?''

Decent question Doug.

It wasn't that Bowlen's feelings were hurt, but rather he felt an employee should show some very small amount of respect to the man who owns the team and signs his paychecks, rather than ignoring him for weeks on end.

This is a poor response. Cutler also could have had his feelings hurt and felt the team should show a small amount of respect to a player who performed well under difficult circumstances without a defense to help him, rather than have the team try to trade him.

I am just saying this reason could work both ways for Cutler and Bowlen.

From Willy, of Los Angeles: "Love your column. It's not Monday without it. About your gun-control statement, I would love to see 'nutjobs' have their guns taken away just as much as everyone. However, I don't believe that would solve much. If you're crazy enough to murder innocents, you're crazy enough to to do it without a gun. Outlawing guns won't stop murders. The murderers will just find a different [and possibly more dangerous] way to kill.''

Willy, I don't think you understand what Peter was trying to say. He was trying to say that he wanted to make a blanket statement that did not fix the real problem, but also express his disdain for guns.

Let's get the excess guns out of society first -- or at least try. Then we'll move on to the next murderous weapon.

"Excess guns?" What would be described as an "excess gun?" Any gun not currently in an owner's hands? I hate debates like this, but what separates an "excess gun" that is used to injure someone from a gun that is used for self defense is the owner's intent...and that intent can change in an instant. Hence the problem is the people and if anyone has a real idea on how to keep guns out of the hands of the wrong people, the government would love to hear it.

8. Wallace Matthews did not like Teixeira's debut as a Yankee.

But they certainly loved seeing Teixeira go 0-for-4 and strand five, including runners at first and third with two outs in the top of the eighth and the Yankees trailing just 6-5.

I am not bitter or anything about the fact my favorite team was mediocre with or without him, but Tex is the best second best hitter on a team in the league. He is great with a player in front or behind him, but he is not going to be able to carry a team. It just is not going to happen. His numbers are great but I don't think he was worth the money the Yankees put into him for 8 years.

But the most obvious culprit, of course, was the one who came with the highest price tag and the highest expectations.

I don't want to go into hyperbole here but there is just something about Tex. He will put up great numbers at the end of the year, but at the same time you find yourself trying to remember where he really made a difference in the season. I know I felt this way and maybe it is only because he tends to meet the expectations those have for him and not exceed them. All I know is that he has a lot of expectations right now and I don't know if he can even meet those.

9. Jim Calhoun doesn't understand the NCAA rules and that is not his fault...he thinks.

I disagree.

Calhoun's defense?

"If we made mistakes, someone else will judge us out of that 508-page manual," he said. "That is the NCAA manual."

This is a sad excuse. Just because the NCAA has a huge manual on what are recruiting violations and what are not, doesn't mean the head coach should be able to use that as an excuse for when a violation occurs. You would think for a person who brags about how much money he brings into the state of Connecticut and to the University of Connecticut, it would be important to know the rules so he can continue to contribute this much money. Apparently not...

And Calhoun responded: "Do you think every NCAA investigator knows what's in every one of those 508 pages? You think so?"

As if that makes it OK.

Yet again, I agree with Gregg Doyel here. It doesn't matter that every NCAA investigator knows what is in the manual, the important part is that those who are head coaches and affiliated with the university obey the rules.

I know the head coach should not know every single rule but every college does have an NCAA Compliance Officer who IS responsible for knowing every single rule. As the head coach and the face of the program Calhoun should have a pretty good idea of what can and can't be done with a recruit.

10. Ray Ratto writes this article, which is the very definition of "useless." (I still love his picture, it looks like he just got caught doing something perverse)

Fact: The minimum major league salary is $400,000. Once you stop gnashing your teeth, ask yourself why James MacDonald, a Dodger pitcher, has a 2009 contract that calls for him to be paid $400,750. And ask yourself what kind of negotiating session that must have been -- a haggle over (or a reward of) 18/10,000ths of one percent.

That is just one sentence in this column. Just read it. You will find yourself saying in your head while reading, "I don't know Ray..." You will also be wondering how articles like this get written, even if it is supposed to be tongue in cheek...maybe.