Ten Things I Think I Think Peter King Has Not Thought Of: NBA Playoffs Edition

There's not much out there again for this Friday. I really miss Gregg Doyel randomly taking his frustrations out on athletes and I thought today was going to be a day when he did that again. So instead I will give you all little tidbits from around the Internet.

1. I am actually moderately excited about the NBA playoffs this year because Kevin Garnett is injured and it doesn't feel like the Celtics tried to buy their way to a NBA Championship as much this year as it did last year, simply due to Garnett being injured...I know that doesn't make sense.

Anyway, here are my NBA playoff picks that no one really cares about:

Cavs 4-1 over the Pistons- The Cavs are just a better team than the Pistons...I just feel like the Pistons are a mess right now. Maybe I am wrong.

Celtics 4-2 over the Bulls- I think the Bulls will be able to take advantage of Garnett's absence for a game or two. Derrick Rose v. Rajon Rondo should be interesting to watch.

Magic 4-2 over the 76ers- Clearly no one on the 76ers can guard Dwight Howard and I think Philly takes a game or two because of how the Magic have struggled lately.

Heat 4-3 over the Hawks- I think it is a toss up between these two teams on paper and because I don't know which way to go, I am going to assume Dwayne Wade will make a play to steal a game in Atlanta (or get a couple important foul calls).

Cavs 4-1 over the Heat- I think the Cavs could very well sweep the Heat.

Celtics 4-3 over the Magic- If there was ever a series the big men for Boston will be tested it is this one but I think home court advantage and the Celtics ability to defend on the perimeter is going to play a big role in this series. I don't see the Magic winning a Game 7 in Boston either.

Cavs 4-2 over the Celtics- Last year, LeBron James and the Cavs took the Celtics to a Game 7 with Kevin Garnett and they did not have Mo Williams. LeBron has improved, he now has other scorers on his team, and the Cavs have the homecourt advantage (39-2). I don't know if the Celtics would have won this series even with Garnett.

2. Here's how I see the Western Conference playing out:

Lakers 4-1 over the Jazz- I don't know whether to blame it on the Lakers having Kobe Bryant or being able to control the paint with Bynum and Gasol...so I guess both are good reasons.

Hornets 4-2 over the Nuggets- This is my upset in the West. Though the Hornets really can't score, I don't really have a good reason other than I still need more proof the Nuggets will play defense and I think the screen and roll with West and Paul will work well. All the Hornets need is a 3rd scorer to show up (I see Peja in that role) and I think they will win it.

Spurs 4-2 over the Mavs- Duncan can't be guarded by the Mavs even if he only had one leg and Roger Mason Jr. is ready to step in and provide some of the points missing with Ginobli being out injured. The Spurs still play great defense and will make the Mavs pay for doubling Duncan.

Trail Blazers 4-3 over the Rockets- I think Joel P. and the much maligned Greg Oden can give Yao Ming some trouble and make him at least work for his points. I think at some point the Blazers overall ability to rebound and their good depth compared to the Rockets is going to win the series for them.

Lakers 4-1 over the Trail Blazers- Unfortunately, I think the Lakers are on another level from the Blazers. They have no one that can guard Kobe. Joel P and the much maligned Oden can't guard Gasol and Bynum. Maybe I would give the Blazers a chance in a year or so.

Spurs 4-2 over the Hornets- Parker will be able to keep up with Paul (at least as much as anyone can), the Spurs are going to be able to prevent Peja from getting open from 3 point range so the Hornets are going to have to rely on Paul and West for scoring. This is going to be a grind it out series, the kind the Spurs tend to win.

Lakers 4-2 over the Spurs- Much like the Celtics without Garnett, I don't know if the Spurs could beat the Lakers even with Ginobli. The Lakers merely average point guard play will rear its head here against Parker but I don't like any of the other matchups for the Spurs.

Lakers v. Cavs- My question is whether LeBron will need to taste the NBA Finals before winning one, (commenter Edward pointed out correctly to me that LeBron made the NBA Finals in 2007 with the Cavs and that me missing this is something I would point out in someone's else writing...he is right, I am a moron and forgot he had already made it...my pick does not change though, though my self esteem has been lowered) much like Isiah Thomas and the Pistons against the Lakers in 1988 or whether he will take over the game against the Lakers like Michael Jordan did to the Lakers in 1991. Maybe it will be neither option.

Putting LeBron v. Kobe as a draw, which it really is not, I see the Lakers doing too good of a job on the boards and making sure LeBron is a one man show. I see the Lakers as too big and experienced to lose this series. Will my half ass analysis work for them? I don't know...but I have Lakers in 6 games.

3. In one of the most bizarre stories I have heard in a while, Greg Paulus wants to play for Michigan...as a quarterback...like in the sport of football.

Paulus was supposed to be a great two sport athlete coming out of high school and Coach K made him pick and play only one sport. He chose basketball. Clearly, no matter what he says, Paulus has regrets.

Paulus is solely interested in playing quarterback and would enter Michigan's open competition under center if he chooses to join the Wolverines.

"The chance to compete for a starting job is important," Paulus said. "With me only having an opportunity to play for one year, the chance and the opportunity to compete at a high level is important. There is an opportunity to do that at Michigan."

First off, the type of offense Michigan runs does not seem too conducive to Paulus' abilities. Quickness is not his strongest suit and the Michigan offense runs the spread. I don't get exactly what Paulus is trying to do because he only has one year to play the sport...and there is a chance he will sit the bench.

"The quarterback position is like being the point guard," Paulus said. "You get the ball every possession and every play. That's exciting to me."

Yeah, but Paulus really, really underachieved at point guard at Duke. Who is to say he won't underachieve as a quarterback as well? I just don't get what Paulus' endgame is here. Does he want to prove he could have played two sportsin college, prove he made the wrong choice by choosing basketball over football or is he trying to make the NFL next year? If he is trying to make the NFL, I don't know if the Michigan offense is the best place to do it.

Maybe he will miss college so much, he can't leave.

4. Mike Freeman thinks Isiah Thomas going to FIU is a bad mistake by FIU. He tells us this by using bad jokes and not writing actual journalism.

Isiah Thomas is now coach of the Florida International basketball team. Thus sexual harassment training begins on campus promptly at noon Eastern.

Haha, I didn't see jokes like that coming. Ba-da-boom!

In a related announcement, FIU has renamed its home Anucha Browne Sanders Arena.

Haha...what a simple and juvenile joke!

In a sexual harassment lawsuit, Thomas was accused of calling Sanders a "bitch" and "ho." So the university has declared that bitch and ho tryouts start later this week.

Ok, you can stop now...seriously, the world gets the point.

Other names on the FIU wish list: Whitney Houston, John Daly and two Somali pirates.

(bengoodfella shaking his head angrily)

Having Thomas coach college kids is like asking Emmitt Smith to give speech therapy lessons.

But having Bob "The DUI Machine and 0% Graduation Rate" Huggins coach kids at West Virginia, Dayton, Cincinnati and Kansas State is the best idea ever? There are worse college coaches out there.

It remains extremely rare for a star player from that era who tried coaching to succeed in it. There were successful players (not necessarily greats) from the 1970s who developed into outstanding coaches like Pat Riley, Billy Cunningham and Phil Jackson. We'll see what happens with players from the 1990s and beyond.

This is not a very good reason to say Isiah will fail. Not to mention those players all coached pro teams and not college teams. There is a difference. Maybe Isiah's completely abrasive personality will work in Florida, but most likely he will run the team into the ground like he has done everything else in his life over the past 15 years.

We all make mistakes, but the declivity and debauchery experienced by Thomas has been fairly stunning. Thomas has proven he can't run a league (he drove the CBA into bankruptcy) or a team (he annihilated the Knicks). I'm not so sure that he can even run a lower-level program like FIU's.

Bill Simmons is not the only one who thinks Isiah sucked as a GM and a coach, he was one of the few that said so very publicly, but I think it is going to be very interesting to see if Thomas can manage to push a completely non-elite program like FIU's down the crapper in two years or less. I have confidence in him.

So good luck Florida International.

I don't really care who Isiah harasses, I care that he has always proven incredibly bad at running anything or overseeing a team of players. FIU is going to have a 3-24 year in two years and Isiah still won't be fired.

5. Heath Bell, or as I call him "my new hero," thinks that Baseball Tonight is very biased.

“I saw John Kruk on 'Baseball Tonight,' and he said, 'They're playing real well, but I don't believe in them,'” Bell said before Monday's game. “And I saw ESPN's promo for tonight's game. They mention the Mets are opening Citi Field, they mentioned the starting time, but nowhere did they mention the Padres. That gave me the (expletive).

Gave him the "shits?" I hope that is what he was saying because that would be fantastic. I actually don't find that Baseball Tonight is that biased that often, I think SportsCenter's coverage of events tends to be more biased. I just think the guys on Baseball Tonight are just not the smartest people in the world at times and their analysis is weak as well.

“I truly believe ESPN only cares about promoting the Red Sox and Yankees and Mets -- and nobody else,” said the closer, a former Met.

Well, that is semi-true. ESPN is generally based in the Northeast so it is easier to cover these teams as well.

ESPN gave the O’s the same treatment as they did Peavy after Baltimore took the first two games of the season from the Yankees last week. They showed nothing but the struggles of the Yankees, complete with shiny graphics and statistics, while leaving out any mention of the Orioles.

I noticed that as well and it really made no sense to me at the time. It was all about the Yankees losing the game and not the Orioles winning the game. It has gotten to the point I expect this from SportsCenter though and no longer really notice it.

I think the one thing I can add to this line of conversation is that after the Padres beat the Mets on Sunday Night Baseball this week, they interviewed David Wright instead of a Padre immediately after the game. I thought that was a little bizarre, even with it being the first game in the new stadium. Usually they interview a player from the winning team.

But can we get a clip? Just one clip from a non-NY/Boston team doing anything?

I was initially going to argue a little bit with this article but when I turned the television to Baseball Tonight immediately after reading this, they were doing a phone interview with A.J. Burnett. What does everyone here think? I think SportsCenter focuses on only a couple of teams but I thought Baseball Tonight, though inane, was usually pretty good about talking nonsense about every team. I do see a lot of Atlanta Braves articles on ESPN.com, so I know they get some coverage. What do you all think?

6. I am a couple of days late on this one but Peter King pisses me off in his MMQB Tuesday Edition as well as he does in his MMQB.

David Charney of Mercer Island, Wash.: "Responding to Mike Vrabel's comments about the playoffs, exactly how much money does he think his last contract would have been worth if the Patriots had not been in the playoffs and won the recent Super Bowls?

I guess he is going to find out now that he plays for the Chiefs and he tries to get a new contract. This comment by David from Washington is exactly what I was thinking when I read Peter's MMQB but did not know exactly how to phrase it, so I cut it out.

Fans like you (and there are tens of thousands out there, maybe hundreds of thousands, who feel the same way) don't want to hear about players feeling ripped off for having to play playoff games for $33,000.

How about there are millions of fans out there who feel the same way you elitist asshole? $33,000 is not a lot relative to what NFL players get paid for the season but it is a lot compared to what Americans make on average per fucking year. This whining for the players comes over really, really poorly.

Nick of Gainesville, Fla.: How can anyone possibly complain for being paid $33,529 (on average) per week? The average American household makes roughly $50,000 per year. That means in two playoff weeks, an NFL player makes more than the average American family. And that is on top of the hundreds of thousands to millions of dollars they are paid during the regular season. I have a degree from a well-regarded law school, and I still make less per year than a player does in the playoffs.''

You would think with Peter getting weekly email about this issue from people who complain he is out of touch with the world and he should quit whining on behalf of the players, he might think that perhaps he is in the wrong. Nope, his little head just keeps on spinning out bullshit.

Nick, if you got an average of $8,000 per case, and then it came time to argue the biggest case you'd ever had before the Florida Supreme Court, and you got $500 for it, would you feel that was fair? Everything is relative.

What a horrible comparison. Attorneys also take cases pro bono many times...especially when it comes to high profile cases that may to go the Florida Supreme Court. Also, if an attorney takes a case to the Florida Supreme Court and wins it, his business will increase so it is worth it for him in the long run. That is very similar to a player who plays well in the playoffs.

Everything is relative you idiot. Relative to what Americans and other people around the world earn, making $33K for three hours of work is a lot of money. It goes both ways. At what point will Peter realize he is wrong on this issue? He did not publish any question from a reader who agreed with him, probably because there was no one.

Steve of Saint Peter, Minn.: "Regarding the timing of this year's draft: I remember you including a statement last year about seeing a NASCAR race in an airport while the Yankees and Red Sox were playing, and remarking on how you were surprised by how little people outside of the northeast cared about said rivalry. As a person who lived in Washington state during last year's draft, I can assure you that a 1:05 p.m. start on the West Coast is more inviting to West Coast viewers than a 9 a.m. start. Why should the NFL schedule one of its premier events around one/two games in another sport, especially when most people couldn't care less about one (if not both) of them? Remember, the country does not schedule events around Yankees-Red Sox games, nor does everyone live in the Eastern Time Zone.''

In your eye Peter. What say you?

Good points, sort of. I would say this: Whenever I talk to football fans in the West, I find they love NFL games starting at 10 a.m. That's all I'm talking about here -- starting the draft at a time suitable for both East and West coast fans. I'm not saying the NFL should be cowed by a couple of baseball games, but it's common sense: They knew the FOX game of the week starts at 4 p.m. on April 25. Why start your premier event of the offseason at the same time, as it turns out, as rivalry games involving two of the three biggest markets in the United States? It's not good business.

Fuck you, sort of. Some of the readers of this here blog live out West and they don't mind the 10am start for games and the draft time either...but Peter still doesn't get it. The NFL should still not schedule their draft around an early season baseball game on a competing network...even if it is the Yankees and Red Sox. I can't help but think Peter has a trumped up importance of his favorite team's baseball games.

Malcolm Charles of Southport, N.C.: "If the NFL wants to get rid of the appearance of referees in the tank for the Steelers, then it might be wise for Mike Pereira to not acquire a football autographed by anyone, much less Mike Tomlin and Dan Rooney.''

Peter's readers are actually smarter than he is. I think this is a great point.

7. Rick Reilly gets paid millions of dollars to ride in a car with Kobe.

This is a part of continuous series called, "Look at all the cool shit I get to do and get paid for." I will put up a couple excerpts because it was pretty boring to read.

7:21 a.m. I immediately spill my coffee in the $300,000-plus Ferrari, but how was I supposed to know he'd demonstrate its 0 to 60 mph in 3.1-seconds right at the very moment I was about to sip my delicious venti mochachino?

I wish Kobe had pushed him out of the car while doing 6o mph. What type of person brings a fucking cup of coffee into a Ferrari?

As a couple in a red Hyundai shrieks, "Kobe! Kobe! Take care of us tonight!" he turns into the players' gate, where a guy with a mirror on a pole checks under the Ferrari for bombs. I'm terrified what they'll find.

They check under his car for bombs? Really? Someone would want to bomb Kobe? I wonder how many NBA players have their car checked for bombs everyday?

It's 5:31 p.m. The Kobe Kommute is over. He's still got the game to go. (The Lakers will defeat the Clippers, 88-85, with Bryant scoring 18 points on 5-for-15 shooting—proving that, occasionally, Kobe DOES miss things.) As for me, I'm so exhausted, there's only one thing I want to do.

He is exhausted. He was not with Kobe from 12pm to 5pm when Reilly was in a hotel and he is exhausted right now 30 minutes after leaving the hotel. He was actually doing work for 5 hours in the morning and 30 minutes in the afternoon. He rode in a car and never actually had to do any work. I just thought I would share that.

8. Gene Wojciechowski wrote an article about the Cubs bouncing back from last year's playoff defeat. This article is fresh from ESPN's new Chicago ESPN which features only stories about the city of Chicago.

When I read this article I could not help but remember Scoop Jackson's crappy article last year about how he thought the Chicago Cubs fans were going to give up on the team now. (Is it pathetic if I go back and read an article I wrote and laugh at it...like it is entertaining me? I think it kind of is...or is it more egotistical to do that?)

If anyone needed more proof Scoop was completely wrong, I will let you look at this year's attendance and their Spring Training attendance record.

ESPN should never have let that Scoop article get published. It was pure crap.

9. Terence Moore. The man would have a team full of 40 year olds playing baseball for the Atlanta Braves if it were up to him. This week he thinks the Braves should just wait around for Tom Glavine to get healthy and not replace him with a better, cheaper, younger, and not injured pitcher.

If we weren’t talking about Tom Glavine, it wouldn’t be worth it.

He’s ancient. He’s hurting. Mostly, he’s not Tommy Hanson, the Braves’ 22-year-old pitching sensation who could bring his roaring fastballs in a flash from the Class AAA likes of Gwinnett Stadium to the big time at Turner Field.

I don't even need to write anything at this point. I think Terence summed it up for me. Of course he also left out that James Parr, Jo Jo Reyes, Jorge Campillo (though he is injured), Charlie Morton, or anybody else in AAA/AA would be a better choice to start a game instead of Tom Glavine.

We are talking about Tom Glavine, though. As a result, those in charge of such things with the Braves should wait slightly longer than forever before saying so long to their future Hall of Fame pitcher and his increasingly creaky body.

Because he was good 10 years ago, they need to allow him to take up payroll and a spot in the rotation. Brilliantly horrible logic.

Glavine would choose the right thing. He is a splendid combination of wisdom and pride. For instance: After he discovered recently that this latest shoulder issues will require two weeks rest before the need of another evaluation, Glavine said, “Right now, for me, the glass is probably half-empty, simply because I’m frustrated and tired with this whole rehab thing. But at the same time, being as close as I am — or was — I’m not willing to just say, ‘OK, that’s it.’ I’m willing to put in a little bit more time.”

I loved Tom Glavine. He should have retired after last year and he didn't. Who is to say he will retire now? Give him a gentle push.

He’s the guy who threw that shutout for eight innings to help secure the only world championship for an Atlanta professional sports franchise.

14 years ago, which in Terence Moore's world was just yesterday. He absolutely loves older ball players and I just don't get it.

He’s the guy who should be allowed to exit the home clubhouse at Turner Field as a player without being shoved.

Because of something he did 14 years ago and the fact he used to be a good pitcher. If Terence Moore wrote for the LA Times he would want Sandy Koufax and Kevin Brown to come out of retirement. Maybe Terence should retire...

10. Gregg Doyel thinks those people who hate Tiger Woods, of these type of people I have never met one, should just get over it.

This is another example of a columnist stretching out a 200 word column into a longer column by just rambling around and talking about nothing.

You people exist, you people who really and truly have reached your Tiger Woods saturation point, and you know what? I feel sorry for you. And not just because, two words into this story, you're being referred to as "you people."

I feel sorry for you because you're out of sync with the rest of us. You're ahead of your time, or behind your time. Whatever you are, you're screwed. Most of us want all the Tiger Woods we can get, which means the rest of you -- you people -- can either come along for the ride ... or you can stop following golf.

And you know you can't stop following golf.

Which means you're screwed. Like I said.

Who says journalism is dead? Current journalists can ramble on and create a 1,000 word column with little to no effort. Just like this one from Gregg Doyel.

Your existence makes no sense to me, by the way. I can feel sorry for you without comprehending your actual reality. In that way, in my mind, you're kind of like a compulsive body-piercer or a pyromaniac: I feel sorry for them, too. Have no idea why they are the way they are, but I feel sorry for them.

I always thought the introduction of a paragraph or an article was supposed to grab the reader's attention and want them to read more of what is being written. Apparently now the purpose of the introduction is to just ramble on and on around your main point to kill time and space when you really have nothing to say. Hell, anyone can ramble around in circles, but who can really ramble around in circles and get it published on a major sports web site? That takes talent.