What Do You Do When You Can't Do Anything?

I mentioned yesterday in the comments that Peter King is on Twitter, so my Christmas wish for the upcoming year has already come true. Here are a couple updates from yesterday from everyone's favorite NFL Insider who knows the real scoop on pretty much everything NFL related that is not breaking news...but he is good at having conversations after breaking news has occurred.

Also, I wanted to mention Gregg Easterbrook has come out with a TMQ for the draft and I think Bill Simmons is going to have a ESPN the Magazine article out today as well but I don't have enough time to donate to that for the day. Fear not, if they are bad enough, they will be covered (I realize no one is actually afraid nor potentially cares).

By the way, I don't buy Torry Holt locked in with Jacksonville. You'll have to tell Jeff Fisher, who doesn't believe that.
6:03 AM Apr 20th from web

You have to remember Peter also believes getting paid $33K to play in a playoff game is a rip off for NFL players, so I wonder what would make Peter believe Holt is locked in with Jacksonville?

Maybe this or perhaps all of these? Probably not. Looks like Holt is not going to catch those "bombs" from Kerry Collins.

Great note from Sam Farmer on Josh McDaniels traveling to LA today to work out Mark Sanchez. I still expect Broncos to go defense Saturday.
about 3 hours ago from web

I like how Peter does shout outs to people we have no fucking clue who they are even in his Twitter updates. I googled Sam Farmer and apparently he works for the LA Times but why is Peter giving him a shout out for noting that Mark Sanchez is working out for the Broncos? Is it really that relevant? Of course, since Peter expects the Broncos to go defense, they will probably go offense. Peter just gives me a headache.

Wallace Matthews hates Chien-Ming Wang very much but doesn't know what to do with him.

I was going to use a bad pun like everyone else does when it comes to Wang but I decided against it. I decided to be a more mature person than that today. I was going to call this post, "Wallace Doesn't Like Wang," "Wang Is Not Working Anymore," "Wang and Ball Not Working Well Together," or "Wallace Matthews Thinks Yankees Need to Shave Wang Off."

Also, Wallace Matthews is one of my favorite columnists to make fun of and write about, if anyone has other columnists who write consistently bad stuff just put their names in the comments or email me. One of the bad parts about writing here is there is a lot of bad journalism that I never am able to find due to time constraints, but the advantage of the Internet is that those 7 people who read this blog live all over the world so they do know of other bad journalism and can notify me of any. Feel free to give me a name to put on my radar if you know of another journalists with bad journalism tendencies.

Never in the illustrious history of this franchise had an opponent come into a place called Yankee Stadium and put up two touchdowns before making three outs, as the Indians did in the second inning of what became an absurd 22-4 defeat.

Jay Mariotti had an article about it up today and as much as Jay Mariotti can be right, he was kind of right. Has anyone noticed that the new Yankee Stadium has had some really high scoring ball games played in it? Seriously, it seems like there are a lot of runs being scored by the Yankees and opposing teams. I am sure C.C. Sabathia and A.J. Burnett are really happy about pitching in Coors Field-New York.

And never again should the Yankees send Chien-Ming Wang out to the mound until he re-learns how to pitch.

I have to be honest. I am intrigued right now. I do not know how Wallace Matthews expects Chien-Ming Wang to re-learn to pitch without going out to the pitcher's mound and pitching. Maybe he could play Wii Baseball or play catch with children before the game (now that would be a great promotion: "Play Catch With Chien-Ming Wan Day"g or maybe see if kids can hit Wang's fastball...then the fans may not hate the team as much as they seem to). I am just brainstorming here and I have no idea how CMW (that's his new nickname) is going to re-learn to pitch without going to the mound. Great idea, impossible execution.

It might be another 86 years before a visiting team puts a one-inning crush job on the Yankees the way the Indians did yesterday, but unless something changes in a hurry, it will be only five more days before we see Wang again.

Wallace Matthews showing a firm grip on the idea of a 5 man rotation. You can't sneak anything by him.

The manager and pitching coach are out of ideas, along with options.

Good. I am glad they don't get paid for things like this. I have ideas though.

The Yankees can't send him to the minors without his consent,

Torture him until he agrees to go to the minors. Perhaps waterboarding? Just don't tell President Obama.

they can't banish him to the bullpen if, as they say, all he needs to do to recapture his effectiveness is to pitch regularly.

Wallace thinks the Yankees should not let CMW pitch again until he re-learns how to pitch. So he is not very helpful. Fortunately, I have ideas. Put him in the bullpen and then let him pitch 5-6 innings every fifth day until he is ready to start a game again. He could go in the game in the 2nd or 3rd inning. What a great idea!

Of all the ridiculous things that happened at the Stadium yesterday, none was more absurd than the realization that after spending nearly a quarter-billion dollars rebuilding their rotation, the Yankees still find themselves short a starting pitcher.

That is so weird the Yankees find themselves short a starting pitcher. I bet putting Joba Chamberlain in the bullpen will help this situation out. If only Joba were in the bullpen, the Yankees would not give up so many runs.

I love how not even two weeks ago Wallace was bitching that Joba needed to be in the bullpen and now Wallace thinks the Yankees are a starting pitcher short and you don't hear too much about him complaining Joba needs to pitching from the bullpen.

Watching him get pounded yesterday, after disastrous outings in Baltimore and Tampa Bay, it was obvious that right now, Wang wouldn't even make the cut on most other teams.

Make the cut? Is this football now? I have never heard "make the cut" used in reference to baseball.

And listening to Wang, manager Joe Girardi and pitching coach Dave Eiland issue variations on the same theme - more pitching is the answer - it was just as obvious that none of them has any clue of how to get him back on track.

Well if more pitching is not the answer, then what the hell is the answer Wallace? The answer is not LESS pitching, so there has to be some pitching involved. Give your readers some ideas instead of regurgitating the same "here is a problem that needs to be fixed but I have no ideas" crap we get every day from you.

As of last night, the plan was to send him out again as scheduled for his next start, which happens to come Friday at Fenway Park.

I don't know why Wallace is vexed about this when he himself said the Yankees had few other options.

Wang, whose command of English is limited

Yeah, I know. Fucking immigrant.

How dare he not have a firm grasp of the English language? If he spent more time with his Rosetta Stone tapes maybe he would be a much better pitcher.

Preferably, somewhere else, like the Yankees' minor-league complex in Tampa.

Here's Wallace's brilliant idea. CMW will not willingly go to the minors, and if he does, it just seems like his confidence will be ruined at that point. So without sending him to the minors, maybe Wallace thinks they should just use a valuable roster spot on him and let him pitch in Tampa until he has it all worked out. Who will he pitch to? I have no idea, that doesn't matter the key point is that he would be using a valuable roster spot while not contributing to the team.

They can't do anything like send him to the minors without his permission, and he probably won't give permission, so I don't know if pitching alone in Tampa will help.

And of all the problems that have manifested themselves during spring training and the first dozen games of this new season, including the injuries to Alex Rodriguez and Xavier Nady, the unreliability of their middle relievers and the apparent launching-pad effect of the new ballpark, which has produced 17 home runs by 12 players in the first three games, none has the long-term ramifications of an ineffective Wang.

Yes, the long term effects of an ineffective Wang have greater ramifications than the fact the ballpark seems to be Coors Field West. You are so right Wallace. The ballpark is going to be like that for only the next 50 years, while Wang is going to be pitching for the next 70 years well into his 90's. I kindly say, you are a moron. Go look up what "long-term" means.

The Yankees have no choice but to let Wang pitch out of this situation he is in or put him in the bullpen for long relief after Philip Hughes gives up 8 runs in 3 innings. They could also trade him but I would guess no one wants him right now. I do know this though, Wallace Matthews is good at bitching, but bad at thinking of ideas.

I thought we could also take a look at the comments from citizens of the tolerant melting pot that is New York state.

Can no Americans play this game anymore?
Balto Uniondale, NY

Get a Hispanic pitcher instead.
Prince of Mastic Beach AOL

Chien Ming Wang should change his name to egg Foo Yung.
Todd Schuster United States

Now you can see why players love playing in New York. The fans heckle you but it really makes no sense as a whole.

We have a Peter King Twitter update!

The Broncos will still work out Sanchez ... but it's offensive coordinator Mike McCoy and GM Brian Xanders there. McDaniels ill, I'm told.

Great, Brian Xanders and Mike McCoy are going to evaluate Mark Sanchez. The doesn't bode well for the Broncos. You have the guy who coached Jake Delhomme for six seasons and the General Manager who was incredibly silent and invisible during the Jay Cutler saga. Why would I not trust them to evaluate Sanchez if I were the Broncos?

Just as a side note, here is how I think the top 5 picks in the NFL draft should go if the teams are using common sense:

1. Detroit: Jason Smith

Though honestly, there has been some rational thought recently that the Lions should go OL at #20 and pick Stafford here, but I don't agree. I am not sure a quality OL will be available at #20 and I don't think this is a good situation for Stafford. If Stafford turns out to be a bad ass I will be the first to say I was wrong, but I don't think I am.

2. St. Louis: Eugene Monroe

3. Kansas City: Aaron Curry

4. Seattle: Matthew Stafford

I don't like Stafford but with Hasselbeck getting up there in years, this would be a great team for Stafford to join. He doesn't have to start now and there are older receivers who he will be able to count on.

5. Cleveland: Michael Crabtree

Once they trade Braylon Edwards they can get a better receiver than Edwards in the draft and then draft defense with the pick they get for him. Sounds like a win-win to me. (Thanks to anonymous for pointing out I put Aaron Curry here twice, I had Curry on the brain and then typed his name)

Gregg Easterbrook has a TMQ Draft Edition up. I am giddy. He says the draft must be mocked, well so must you as well my enemy. So must you.