Dan Shaugnessy

I'm pretty sure everyone around here knows that name. He is right up there with the worst that sportswriting has to offer, and has been FJMed on a few occasions. He has the distinct nickname of CHB (curly haired boyfriend. Thanks for that, Carl Everett.), and some kind of weird agenda against Curt Schilling.

I've emailed him before and I got quick and polite responses, so he cant be all that bad of a guy. But man can he write some terrible articles from time to time. I realize that the link is to a basketball article, even though I said I would be following mosty baseball, but this one was too good to pass up.

First off: Here is the title.

These Lakers fans are living in la-la land

You can tell its going to be a sweet articles from that title alone, right.

This sounds like homerism, I know, but folks out here are delusional. Sure, they deserve happiness in the wake of the Lakers winning the NBA championship in Orlando Sunday, but it's way over the top.

Not unlike any time a boston sports team, for whom you write about, wins a national title. Nope, we all just sit back, light up a nice Ashton cigar, kick back, sip some scotch, and say "jolly good, well played." Come on, dude, of course a home town teams celebration is going to be over the top. But hey, at least they didnt celebrate like those crazy canadiens to the north.

There's talk about Kobe as equal to Michael. Some think Phil Jackson is better than Red Auerbach. And they actually believe they are an NBA dynasty.

Sentance #1: Okay, that is silly talk. I was listening to the radio the other day and they were talking about Simmons saying Kobe would be a top 5 player of all time if he won this championship. The hosts made a good point by saying they arent even sure if he is one of the top 5 lakers of all time. I mean, think of all the laker greats, West, Johnson, Kareem, heck you could even argue for shaq over Kobe.

Sentence #2: I think you could make a convincing argument for either one. Although, Red was also the GM and talent evaluator, but its the whole "diffrerent era" argument.

Sentance #3: 4 championships in a decade could be considered a dynasty

There's more. All restaurants in LA have been ordered to serve Kobe beef. Los Angeles high school geometry classes are teaching Jackson's triangle offense. Pau Gasol is recording a duet with Enrique Iglesias. The word "great" is being thrown around like "awesome" and "dude."

Okay, the previous paragraph are things I have actually heard. I havent heard anything about this so I am guessing Danimal is trying to be funny, which if he is, he has clearly failed.

Nobody talks about how a year ago the Celtics humiliated the soft-shell Lakers in six games. This is LA and 12 months ago might as well be the Dolph Schayes era.

Yeah, because it was a year ago, and the Lakers are the champions THIS year. Okay, I'm doing this in real time, straight through, without any breaks. I'm thinking I'm stupid, becuase I have no idea who Dolph Schayes is, so I am going to goolge it, find out, and then come back. (2 minutes pass by) Okay, I'm back. So I just found out he was a player that retired in 1964. I told you, I dont know a whole lot about basketball. Did anyone else know who Dolph Schayes was off the top of their head? Wouldnt George Mikan have been a better example to a casual fan?

Please. Do they actually think they would have won this year if Kevin Garnett had been healthy?

Do we know if the Celtics would have beaten the lakers last year if Andrew Bynum was healthy? You dont even know if the C's would've gotten past the Cavaliers this year, even if Garnett was healthy.

It makes me long for Garnett's return to full strength and a possible Celtic-Laker rematch in 2010. If the Lakers win that one, we'll give them their props.

Why is Dan so against giving the Lakers props? They beat the team that knocked the C's out of the playoffs. Isnt that good enough? Notice how he still doesnt acknowledge that the C's beat an injured lakers team last year.

Meanwhile, this is a little like when the Larry Bird Celtics beat the Houston Rockets in 1981 and 1986 respectively, to win NBA championships. Those titles were nice, but not as special as 1984 when Bird, Parish, and McHale beat Magic, Kareem, and Worthy.

Because a team that features Hakeem Olajuwon is trash.

We can all be glad that Red didn't live to see Jackson move to the top of the championship coaching list with this 10th title. Red was never particularly gracious about Big Phil (or anything else, for that matter). It started out as an anti-Knick thing, then got serious when Jackson started racking up the titles with the Bulls and the Lakers. Red always held that Jackson "picked his spots."

So what dan is telling me is Red was a jealous bastard who would rather be dead than watch someone eclipse his record. Way to paint a legend in a positive light, Dan.

I never met Red, but my friend sent him a letter (remember writing those?) and he got another letter back from Red answering all the questions he asked, talking about how Russell was his favorite player, the 1st championship is the best, ect.... I thought it was pretty cool, so, for what its worth, I think Red is (was) a good guy.

While it is true that it's harder to win an NBA championship today than it was in 1966 (more tiers of playoffs, more scouting, salary cap, etc.), need we remind you that Red hung up his whistle after winning eight straight championships and nine in 10 years? And he was only 48 years old.

Translation: Sure it was easier to dominate back in the day, but Red stopped when he was young, so he is better then Phil, because he would have won more championships in an era that was easier to dominate.

Back in the days when a juiced Jose Canseco was hitting 40 homers and stealing 40 bases, Mickey Mantle said, "Hell, If I'd known 40-40 was going to be a big deal, I'd have done it every year!"

Or he could've stopped showing up to games half in the bag. Also, is Mick saying he wasnt trying his hardest? Sounds like he should've taken a cue from this guy. (sponsorship should be coming soon, I promise)

Had Red known that smarty-pants Jackson (Phil wore a yellow cap with roman numeral X after Sunday's win) was going to jump from Michael and Scottie to Shaq and Kobe, and hang around the bench to the age of 64, Red no doubt would have stayed on the bench and collected a couple more titles.

Maybe your right, he probably would of. But lets look at one key phrase, "had red known", so yeah, if Red could forsee into the future, maybe he would've kept coaching.

It's not just Red getting dissed out here. Patriot fans - a group more protective than kindergarten parents of an only child - will be dismayed to read that estimable LA Times columnist Bill Plaschke Monday declared that Jerry Buss "becomes the best sports owner of the 21st century."

HOW DAY-UH THOSE FACKING CAWKSUCKAS NOT RECOGNIZE THAT OW-UH OWNAH COULD KICK YOUR OWNAHS ASS!!!!

Ouch. Plaschke correctly noted that LA has won four NBA championships since 2000. The Patriots, you might recall, have three Vince Lombardi trophies this decade and came ridiculously close (anybody remember that one?) to a fourth one in Glendale, Ariz., in February of 2008.

what the fuck does that have to do with anything? First of all, he is comparing a basketball franchise to a football franchise. Secondly, they still have 1 more championship than the patriots do. Unless 3 and 4 switches places in terms of quantity, your argument doesnt make sense.

There is then a throwaway paragraph where he praises TJ Simers and then it just ends with the parade info. This isnt Dans worst work, but its still pretty bad.