MMQB Review: Peter Goes Camping

It took a little longer than usual for Peter to post his MMQB this week, it almost turned into the Mid-Morning Quarterback, but fortunately he did it get posted. I really don't have all day to wait on the King of Minor Complaints to post his MMQB so I am glad he finally posted it. The topics he discusses will absolutely shock and awe you. The title says, "Peter King discusses Brett Favre, Jim Johnson, Ed Reed..." so you know it's going to be that kind of party for Peter.

Let's dive right in and see what inane observations are on Peter's mind.

Tuesday, 10:50 p.m. (Bills camp, Pittsford, N.Y.)Strange day. Sad day. Brett Favre surprises the football world by saying he's not playing for the Vikings, and in the same hour, word comes down that one of the great defensive minds in football history, former Eagles defensive coordinator Jim Johnson, has died from melanoma.

Ok, ok, everyone Peter has mentioned the fact Jim Johnson died. He mentioned it, it happened and it's over now. Now let's get to the juicy stuff and start talking about Brett Favre!

Remember this statement?

That's why I give up. Don't ask me anymore what I think about Favre, whether I think he's going to play or whether I think he's going to mow the grass for the rest of his life.

That's from one of Peter's three articles he wrote on Brett Favre last week during the period of Wednesday-Thursday. I said we won't ask Peter about him if he never, ever mentions his damn name again...and Peter couldn't go a week without mentioning him.

Look, the guy is retired. He is NOT an active NFL player, so let's quit discussing him now. I feel like one of Peter's editors should prohibit him from mentioning Favre.

my cell rang. It was Favre, saying he just didn't trust his body to make it through 16 games, not given the way it felt after he worked it hard the past few weeks, getting it ready for the Vikings' grind. And he was pretty sure this was the end, but come midseason, if some team calls, who knows?

If there is anyone not tired of Brett Favre at this point? Or not tired of his constant bullshit? If so, please tell me why because I would love to discuss this issue with you.

Again, Peter casually mentions that Jim Johnson died and then goes into a long story on Brett Favre. The man is obsessed with Brett Favre.

I asked him about the toll this had taken on his reputation. "Two years ago you were 'Sportsman of the Year' and an American folk hero,''

No, he wasn't. Don't continue to make him bigger than he was. He had a good year and threatened to retire so the media, who adores Brett Favre more than they adore their immediate families, gave him an "honor." That's what happened, let's not get too excited over the "Sportsman of the Year " award.

"Now there are kids and adults who are sick of you, who don't love you anymore. How does it feel?'' "Well, then they really didn't love me in the first place,'' he said. "Whatever. Nothing I can do about it.

I am not a violent person but I am almost at the point where I want someone to stuff a gasoline soaked cloth in Brett Favre's mouth and threaten to light it on fire if he opens his big mouth again. Shut up, shut up, shut up...a thousand times shut up and quit playing the victim and shut the hell up, go mow some grass, hang out with your wife, maybe throw some footballs to high school kids, and never talk to the media again. Shut up...

He can act like such a pussy. He acts like someone made him do all this or the world is turning on him in some fashion. Read his pathetic ass quote again and tell me that is not how it sounds...

Nothing. It wasn't about getting back at [Green Bay GM] Ted Thompson. How much more clear can I make it?''

Oh yeah, and quit lying.

Thursday, 3:45 p.m. (Redskins camp, Ashburn, Va.) Defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth looks very big and very happy after his first practice day in camp with the Redskins.

"Very big?" I know he is a big guy but that can be taken another way as well. He could also be fat. Traditionally some defensive tackles have motivation problems when they are given a big contract, that's why I questioned Haynesworth's contract.

He's moving well and looks in great shape. You know the whispers about Haynesworth -- now that he has the big money, Washington will never get the same value out of him that Tennessee got over the past two years, contract years.

Would Peter King ever write something negative? It's all puff pieces for him. I am not whispering this, I am yelling that I don't believe the Redskins will get the same value out of him as Tennessee got.

"The contract puts ZERO pressure on me. I put pressure on myself. My challenge is to be the best defensive tackle in a great division.''

He wants to be the best defensive tackle in the division! How motivating to hear a guy getting paid $12 million per year for the next four years wants to be the best DT in one of six divisions.

This is what makes me think this was a bad signing. Why can't Haynesworth want to be the best overall?

He tells me someone's reporting that Mike Vick just worked out for the Patriots at 3 o'clock this afternoon in Foxboro. Immediately, I get a remember-where-you-heard-the-Vick-news-first text from Sal Paolantonio, who told the crowd at the Dr. Z benefit back in May that he thought the Patriots would be a major player for Vick. I'd been saying the Patriots were my best-guess landing spot for Vick too.

So basically Sal Paolantonio said back in May that Vick would go to New England and Peter King has been saying the same thing in his MMQB every week, except passing that guess off as his own and never crediting Sal Paolantonio. It appears here the only reason Peter had been saying it is because he heard it from Sal first in May. Peter could have at least acknowledged at some point he heard it from Sal Paolantonio first, but he didn't...even if it ended up being wrong.

It just seems like good journalistic etiquette to say you agree with a comment another reporter made and not try to pass it off as an original thought.

So I decide to throw a couple of Tweets up, the first at 4:59 saying Vick wasn't in Foxboro, and the second that the Pats don't want Vick and like O'Connell. Sure enough, at 5:01 p.m., Adam Schefter Tweeted that Vick wasn't in New England either. It's a crazy media world.

All while driving a car on a highway...

Friday, 4:45 p.m. (Somewhere near Gettysburg, Pa.) Tucker rides shotgun and fires up Twitter, profootballtalk.com and whatever other news ports he has on his BlackBerry.

Watch out great people near Gettysburg, Pa for Peter King! Ignore that car driving in two lanes with doughnuts and coffee flying out the window and a Red Sox pennant flying in the back left passenger window, that's just Peter King using his phone to Tweet and driving at the same time to report breaking NFL news. It's about the Patriots and Mike Vick, it's way more important right now than your or your family's life.

"If Jim knew we were all talking about him like this, he'd be chewing us all out, and I can guarantee you that,'' said Eagles coach Andy Reid. "Jim was all about the game. He was, to us, what we all wanted to be as coaches. No ego. Great teacher. Always open to new ideas. A strategist.

Oh, we are going to talk about the fact Jim Johnson died now? I criticize Peter King fairly often for his propensity for focusing on the Northeast part of the United States and their football teams, but I have found it inexcusable he has not written more about Jim Johnson and focused on Brett Favre so much. Johnson died and got no mention from Peter, except on his Twitter in the form of 90 words on Brad Childress' reaction.

When there is real news coming from a Northeast United States team it needs to be reported, and I count the death of the defensive coordinator of a team that went to 5 NFC Championship games in the 2000's as "real news."

Peter doesn't even really discuss Johnson, he just let others discuss him...but I am sure we will get his opinion on Brett Favre every week until the season starts.

That's the first time I celebrated with pure emotion in a long time,'' said Hobbs. "In New England, they believe in keeping your emotions down. It zaps the life out of you. I remember standing on the sidelines in my first playoff game, home against Jacksonville, and getting all excited and I'm jumping around, and I feel this touch on my shoulders. I was told, 'Calm down.' I'm thinking, 'Wow, my first playoff game. Let's enjoy it.' But that's not the way it's done there.''

Who was the touch from you ask? Jesus. He is a Patriots fan.

Oh and Ellis Hobbs? You should never say anything negative about the Patriots. It makes Jesus cry and Bill Belichick very angry.

For the first time, I've had a traveling companion for the training-camp trip.

A picture on the dashboard of you and Brett Favre in a loving embrace?

It's Ross Tucker, who played seven years on the offensive line in the NFL.

"Played" may be overstating it just a bit, but he was on the team.

And I am only counting 5 years he was in the league...maybe practice squad years count in Peter's book.

We walked into the home-plate concourse as Pedro was finishing his warmups. Ninety seconds later, on his second pitch of the night, Pedro gave up a long homer to right. (Five innings, 84 pitches, none faster than 91. Lots of 86-mph fastballs and 71-mph changes. He's going to have to get by in this reincarnation on guile, and guile alone.)

I've been trying to tell Phillies fans this and they won't listen to me.

"Excuse me,'' said Tucker, who is pleasant and absolutely not shy. "What kind of ice cream is that?''

"Moose tracks,'' she said.

"It looks fantastic!'' he said. "Can I have a bite?''

"No,'' she said. "You'll have to get your own.''

That's kind of an asshole-ly thing to do. Ross Tucker has plenty of money, spend some of it and get your own damn ice cream. Don't try to mooch off some woman after you have gotten free tickets to a minor league baseball game.

Only in Peter King's world will a hot dog eating contest be offensive to those in Africa without food but it makes sense for his friend to try and steal food from a complete stranger at a baseball game where most people had to pay for their tickets, except Peter King and his friend. Why do wealthy people get all kinds of free stuff?

Using locally grown ears of white-yellow Sweet Corn from Nazareth, Pa. (Get it? Nazareth? Bethlehem?),

No Peter, we don't freaking get it. Explain it to us all.

Why does it take Peter 50 years to figure out something a 10 year is able to figure out when they drive through Nazareth and Bethlehem, Pa? He is so shocked by obvious and small little things. It should be child-like wonder, but instead it is just annoying because he thinks we are all as stupid as he is.

That's a pretty good Friday night in Allentown, Pa.

Allentown? Get it? Like the Billy Joel song!

I bet Peter thinks they named the city after the Billy Joel song...

a. Ray Rice made the best offensive play I saw all week. Circling out of the backfield into the right flat, he reached for a Joe Flacco pass thrown high and caught it one-handed, with the nose of the lasered ball nestling against the palm of his right glove.

Yes Ravens fans, Joe Flacco is overthrowing running backs in the flat. Get ready for another super duper year of quarterbacking in Baltimore.

c. Ravens' practice was more intense than Buffalo's or Washington's.

That's because of Ray Lewis. He will stab, I mean chide greatly, a motherfucker if they don't come with some energy.

j. NFL quiz: Who's the only player in the league who has played professional football since he was a teenager? Answer below, in number 10.

Brett Favre? Sorry, that is probably not correct, but Peter hasn't mentioned him in a while and it just seemed like it was time for another mention.

d. Assuming that Brian Dawkins, Champ Bailey, Renaldo Hill and Andre' Goodman make it to opening week without injury, Denver will have the oldest starting secondary of any team in this decade.

OMG! They have the youngest coach in the league too! What a wonderful and brilliant observation by Football Outsiders I am going to run, not walk, to my computer to buy this book. Should I do that Peter?

I am a huge fan of their book every year, and some of the nuggets Aaron Schatz and company have unearthed this year are going to make you run, not walk, to your computer to order this year's edition.

Sometimes I enjoy writing MMQB too much.

6. I think this is the second or third year in a row where People Who Know say the Houston Texans are going to be the team to make the big jump to the playoffs. I'm not sold. But what would really encourage me about this team is what's going on with running back Steve Slaton.

Here's your big story Peter promised you Texans fans. Buried on Page 5 on the 6th thing that Peter thinks. Don't say he never covers your team EVER again!

You know what, it was so boring, I didn't even bother making fun of it. All he said was that Matt Schaub expects Steve Slaton to play well this year. I hope you enjoyed your time in the sun Texans fans.

7. I think this is my favorite Matt Schaub stat of the week: Over the past two years, Schaub has completed 66.3 percent of his throws, Peyton Manning 66.2.

Wow, and passing percentage is a statistic that completely determines whether a quarterback is good or not.

a. David Ortiz. Yes, 2004 and 2007 are tainted, but my problem in making judgments is I have no idea how many of the 104 players who tested positive in 2003 play for the teams Boston beat in the playoffs in those years.

Oh yes, it is the wonderful, "sure our players were cheating but everyone else was also, but so I don't think we should pass judgment quite yet argument." Sadly, in baseball it sort of works. Still, I don't approve when Peter makes this argument.

b. Some guy named Reddick hit a homer for the Red Sox Sunday. Never heard of him. Go away for a week and the world gets weird.

Peter is so out of touch with baseball, I think it may have taken him a second to figure out why a guy named "Bay" is playing for the Red Sox. I think this is more of an example of how little Peter actually pays attention to the game of baseball.

c. I agree with Bill Simmons. This is just a star-crossed year, a year that just doesn't feel right, for the Sox.

Maybe it's a steroid curse! Quick Dan Shaughnessy, write a book in order to profit from it!

Whatever, I still have the Cubs and the Red Sox in the World Series (that was my preseason pick and I have to stick with it), that was my preseason prediction, so quit all this "woe is us, it just doesn't feel right" crap, so when things start falling into place you can make a big deal out of it.

d. Coffeenerdness: Can't believe I'm praising Sheetz Coffee, but the dark roast there would give the Starbucks Sumatra a good run. It fueled me on two of these long jaunts last week.

Why can't Peter believe he is praising Sheetz coffee? Is gas station coffee not elitist and white enough for him?

Happy Monday everyone. I think the best thing I saw this weekend was Joe Torre bringing in Juan Pierre as a defensive replacement for Manny Ramirez. When Juan "noodle arm" Pierre is a defensive replacement that doesn't say much for outfield defensive depth. Seriously, I have seen women with a better arm than him...and we all know how this blog feels about women in baseball.