MMQB Review: A Love Affair Begins

It's Monday and the NFL was played yesterday, that means we get another edition of MMQB with Peter King. This week Peter has found his new white quarterback infatuation for when/if Brett Favre retires. First, I would like to bitch about the fact he brought up 4 times in his MMQB last week about how bad Jake Delhomme was against the Eagles in Week 1. As I complained at the time, Peter NEVER mentions any team that is not in his immediate or near vicinity that often unless something bad happens. Yesterday Delhomme went 25-41 for 308 yards with a touchdown and one interception (it was fourth down, he had no choice) and Peter says absolutely nothing about it. He doesn't even mention the game, except one reference about how the Falcons are quiet at 2-0 and when he talks about Matt Ryan being a budding star at quarterback. Of course the Falcons are quiet when you are too busy paying attention to other teams constantly.

This is just completely typical Peter King and the media in general. Absolutely blast a guy when he gets on their radar for screwing up but when he plays well the following week say nothing about it. I almost find it cowardly. After blasting a guy and questioning whether he can keep his job, the least you can do is acknowledge he held the job for one more week. Peter doesn't even do that. To say nothing about it is just doing a bad job of following up on last week's column.

Enough complaining, onto the King.

That's how Jets coach Rex Ryan greeted Mark Sanchez at the Jets' training complex in New Jersey the other day. It's not a rare thing. "That'd be taboo for a lot of coaches to say to a player, obviously,'' Sanchez said late Sunday afternoon, soaking in the biggest win of his, oh, eight-day pro playing career.

I have been doubting Sanchez since he announced he was going to make himself eligible for the draft. It's been two games into his career, you won't get an "I was wrong" from me quite yet. If Sanchez keeps playing like this, then yes, I will have been completely wrong...but first Mark Sanchez has to keep playing like this. I can't wait to see him go into Gillette Stadium when everyone is not cheering for him and have a good game.

I count six passers 25 or younger -- Ryan, Flacco, Sanchez, Stafford, Trent Edwards of Buffalo and Green Bay's Aaron Rodgers -- as players with exceedingly bright futures.

And we know this based on their combined not-quite-yet 10 years experience playing the QB position? Stafford and Sanchez have played 4 total games in the NFL, let's calm down just a little bit. Shaun King looked like the answer in Tampa Bay for a while and there have been other quarterbacks who started their career out looking good only to flame out. Do I find it a coincidence four of these players have playoff caliber teams around them? No, I don't. I don't think it's a coincidence. These quarterbacks have played well but it is fortunate for these guys none of the teams, with the exception of Stafford, had a team rebuilding around him. I think that fact can be attributed to the early success they are having.

Last year, I'll never forget the scene at Baltimore training camp when Flacco, a rookie, went to the line to call signals and watched and listened for four or five seconds while several defensive players on the Ravens, most notably Ray Lewis, pointed and shouted out signals and defensive code words. Flacco waited, as if to say, "Are you finally finished?'' and then called his own play, completing a short pass.

Later in the locker room, Joe Flacco was shanked. The only evidence left was a piece of a #52 jersey that was used to wrap around the handle of the shank.

"Being at SC, in such a big program with such a good offensive attack, prepared me for this job well,'' Sanchez told me. "And just like SC prepared me for the football side of things, being in LA prepared me for the media side of it too. Here, on the field and off the field, everything is faster, but I feel like I'm ready for it.

Does this mean USC also helped prepare for Mark Sanchez to play poorly against the worst teams in the league? I am sure he learned a little bit of that from Pete Carroll as well. They can beat New England but will lose to the Chiefs, Raiders, and Lions. I have a theory about USC. Pete Carroll keeps his team very loose and that helps them in big games, but I also think it hurts them in games they should win because sometimes it seems like they don't take the team seriously and struggle to match the other team's intensity level on the road. That's just my theory that the Trojans may be TOO loose to amp up their intensity.

Why doesn't this pro style offense experience go for ex-USC receivers? They can't seem to make a difference in the NFL. Why is it different for the receivers from USC? More specifically why does my favorite team keep drafting the crappy USC receivers?

All young quarterbacks do, like the first play of the game, when a strip-sack resulted in a loss of 17 yards and put Sanchez back at his three-yard line. But time and again Sunday, he'd drop back, step nimbly out of any rush the Patriots threw at him (which wasn't much), and look very much like he belonged.

(The sounds of birds chirping can be heard just barely over the sound of "What a Wonderful World" playing in the background. Peter King is presenting his final rose to Mark Sanchez and pleading for him to accept. He's found his man. The man who can replace Favre. Peter is now complete for a few more years.)

Do you know how paranoid I am about Bill Belichick? I almost think he didn't throw everything he had at Sanchez because he wants to give him a false sense of security and then obliterate him for the rest of his career with the Jets. I really believe Belichick is a witch.

The odd thing -- especially considering the topic of this column -- is how well the older quarterbacks are playing.

Everybody's playing well this year according to Peter King! See what his new found love for Mark Sanchez does to him?

The three who have found the fountain of football youth:

If you don't know who #1 on this list is and you know Peter King is writing this column...please quit reading and find another post to read, do some research and then come back and make a guess. You shouldn't have to guess, the answer should come out automatically when you know he is going to list older QB's who are playing well this year.

•Brett Favre. "Every game I play at this point, I'm pretty grateful,'' he said after his record-setting 271st consecutive start, the most by a position player in NFL history. "I know how difficult it is.''

He has beaten the Browns and Lions. Kudos Brett to that tough early schedule you have. Let's over react to it shall we?

What was all the more admirable about the performance by Favre -- who turns 40 in three weeks -- is that he got sacked three times by the Lions and hit hard on four other occasions, and still had one of the most accurate days of his NFL career, completing 23 of 27 throws.

As I said last week when Peter mentioned how Favre can't get hit anymore or it may hurt him if he does get hit...if you can't get hit, retire (like a real retirement) or find another sport to play because getting hit is part of football. But no, every week we are going to get hear about how Brett Favre got hit a lot and bounced right back up. Who gives a crap? He's an NFL QB, that's part of the job, but Peter of course gives him credit for this.

•Drew Brees. The young kid of the Trifecta at 30, Brees is playing some sick football. He doesn't have a franchise running back, nor a franchise receiver (though Marques Colston is angular, tough and sure-handed)

I personally consider Marques Colston a franchise receiver. Of course I don't know if I can argue with the guy who thinks Derek Jeter is the best player he has seen in his lifetime, and only includes half of his lifetime as "his lifetime." He has set his own floor for common sense when he said that, to the point arguing with him just seems irrational on my part.

The Fine Fifteen

2. Minnesota (2-0).

Peter's Fine Fifteen is a joke in the first place but to put Minnesota at #2 when they beat Cleveland and Detroit is an even bigger joke. The only teams that may not be able to beat those two teams are....Detroit and Cleveland?

6. Pittsburgh (1-1).Willie Parker, 12 carries for 47 yards. What happened to the Steelers running game? Second straight game it hasn't been there.

I guess Peter has long term memory loss. The Steelers running game wasn't really there most of last year either. They still won the Super Bowl despite this.

11. Dallas (1-1). Cowboys have played the first two games of the season without sacking the quarterback or forcing a turnover.

Glad to see Jake "The Turnover Machine" Delhomme is playing them next week on Monday Night Football when they are hungry for turnovers and sacks. This is going to feel like a public execution.

Of course that number is not as frightening as JaMarcus Russell's completion percentage in his first two games of the season -- 35.2.

Reason #4,398 the Raiders don't know what they are doing: They cut Jeff Garcia to keep this guy.

OFFENSIVE PLAYERS OF THE WEEK

He names four offensive players of the week. Nearly one from half of the games played. Can't we just limit it to one or two? Is it that hard to do this?

Shameless MMQB Book Promotion of the Week

Yes, I've written a book. It's a combo platter of MMQB classic (there's an oxymoron) and new stuff -- lists, opinions, forecasting the future. It'll be out in October, and preorders are always welcome. For the next three or four weeks, I'll give you a nugget from the book based on what's topical in the football, online or Twitter universe.

So Bill Simmons and Peter King have books coming out nearly at the same time this year. Am I dead? Is this Hell?

Here are my top 12 players of all time at the quarterback position.

5. Brett Favre. Most durable, most productive quarterback of all time. Marred by only one title.

Also marred by the fact he holds the NFL record for most interceptions in his career. #5 quarterback of all-time? Peter King has no semblance of neutrality in his writing when it comes to Favre. He just can't do it. I am not going to deny Favre is a Hall of Fame quarterback, but I will argue he is the #5 QB of all-time.

11. Bart Starr. All he did was win -- five NFL titles, including the first two Super Bowl titles, both ending with him being MVP.

I very well could be the only one, but I am amazed at the fact Bart Starr is #11. If Favre winning another title had gotten him further up the list, why doesn't Starr's 5 titles get him further than #11?

c. Julian Edelman: Wes Welker Jr.

Peter King: Patriots fan club member (not that there is anything wrong with that, but just admit it. I am a Panthers fan, it's obvious because I know more about them than any other team. Shouldn't this same theory be used for Peter? He knows the entire roster and substitution patterns for the team).

j. Not saying I can pick games or teams or anything, as my Detroit-over-Minnesota pick, and my 7-9 Saints prediction shows, but I did pick the Browns to go 2-14. And I'm not feeling too wrong about that right now.

Peter wants you to ignore all his wrong picks and focus on the one pick he got right for this year. I mentioned the Saints would win the NFC South this year and it wasn't a prediction, it just happens each team in the NFC South rotates the title every year and it was the Saints turn this year. I don't think I should get credit based on this fact. Peter, on the other hand, isn't exactly setting the world on fire with his predictions.

Of course I am tied with him in the Pick 'Em and Bill Simmons is currently beating me so I have no room to talk...so feel free to ignore me.

3. I think Brad Childress must be mad at me. He told me Sunday that my love for Jim Schwartz and Bill Belichick was "transparent.''

Even though he does look like a child molester, I have to say Childress is my hero for the next 10 seconds. And no, he is not mad at you, he just reads your MMQB every week. It's obvious to most people who read MMQB.

Gee, I thought I was doing a good job hiding it too. Next week, I'm going to keep all the coaches and all the teams happy. I'm going to pick every game exactly according to the spread. (Uh, not.)

"Uh, not." Wayne's World reference! Not outdated at all.

Somewhere in California a livid Bill Simmons is pacing around his living room wondering how Peter King could steal outdated references from him.

j. Loved how the Cincinnati offensive line made a shell around Carson Palmer.

Yes Peter, that's called blocking. In between the time you spend looking at pictures of Brett Favre and deciding which football player you are going to throw under the bus and suggest he will lose his starting job in your MMQB four times last week and then never mention him again, you should notice a few things about football...this being one of them.

b. Mark Sanchez did not "have too much juice'' on his throw in the end zone to Chansi Stuckey in the third quarter, as Dan Dierdorf said on TV. Stuckey slipped. Fell. Tripped. Come on.

Yes Dan Dierdorf, don't say anything negative about Mark Sanchez. Peter has his back for the next 15 years and no matter what Sanchez does will not say anything negative about him...you should do the same.

9. I think Marshawn Lynch must be getting very nervous about his job. I would be. Fred Jackson's been one of the Bills' five most important players in the first two weeks of the season. After the Patriots couldn't tackle him last week, Jackson had the best rushing day of his life (28 carries, 163 yards). Every team needs two good backs, and Buffalo has two.

So if every team needs to have two good backs and the Bills have two good backs with Lynch and Jackson, why should Lynch be getting nervous about his job? This would mean he still has a job, wouldn't it?

c. There is nothing like a beautiful Indian Summer Saturday in New York City, especially around Soho. The crowds are incredible. What recession?

Nice Peter. It's probably the recession where 10% of Americans are unemployed and people would take second jobs to pay the bills...if someone was hiring at this point. It must be nice to be in the 99% of all income earners in America and then be able to write something asshole-ish like "what recession" because you have a high paying job. I know the weather was beautiful and many people were out, but this doesn't seem to have too much to do with the recession so you shouldn't give the impression you are being insensitive. Does anyone edit this column?

d. My goal in life is to be a clue in the New York Times crossword puzzle. I've never told anyone that, but it's true.

Is someone dropping a hint to the New York Times right now? This seems kind of pathetic.

h. Never, ever did I think I'd be saying this in midsummer, but I could see an Angels-Cards World Series. MVP: Scott Kazmir.

I am at the point I truly believe we could find a homeless man on the street who knows more about baseball than Peter King. I think it is going to be a Philadelphia-Boston World Series. I pride myself on knowing a little bit about baseball and know the Angels are doing to draw Boston in the first round and that the Angels always choke against the Red Sox in the playoffs. So I base my pick on the fact the Phillies are the best NL team and the Red Sox are easily going to win the 1st round and now have the pitching to beat the Yankees. Peter, despite being a Red Sox fan, can't seem to remember any of this stuff. So we get the prediction Scott Kazmir will be the World Series MVP.

i. Very good opening night for The Office, but I've been told by too many of you that I can't spoil the ending. Suffice it to say Stanley gets mad, and I don't blame him, and it is very funny.

Really? I don't know if I watched the same "The Office" season premiere as Peter. I don't remember Stanley getting mad at the end of the episode. Not even in the middle of the episode either. I wonder if Peter was privy to a different "Office" premiere because I don't even remember Stanley being mad as being funny.

Tonight the guy Peter has ranked behind Brett Favre in the top 12 QB's of all time, Peyton Manning, plays and Peter picks them to win. I predict Manning will be better than Favre by the end of his career, though I am sure Peter King would still rank the INT king over Manning.