MMQB Review: The Greatest Show In Mike Martz's Mind Edition

Last week Peter King ranked all of the teams in the NFL and pissed off the fans of nearly every NFL team who took offense to his arbitrary ranking of their team. Last year Peter had the Chicago Bears as one of the best teams in the NFL before the season began, which they didn't up deserving that spot, and this year he had the Packers as the best team in the NFL, which I believe is kind of shaky. So it is not like his May power rankings are necessarily incredibly accurate. This week Peter recovers from the verbal beating he took in his mailbag and catches up with Mike Martz, who is wondering if anyone has four Hall of Fame-type players to loan him in Chicago so he can be considered an offensive genius again.

Quietly, near the end of a conversation about his Chicago Bears offense Saturday afternoon, Mike Martz said, "I've seen this before.''

He was alluding to 11 years ago, when he took the offensive coordinator job in St. Louis and went to work under Dick Vermeil with an incredible offense that included Trent Green, Marshall Faulk, Torry Holt, Isaac Bruce and Az-Zahir Hakim.

I know already Martz is going to compare what offensive weapons the Bears have to what he had with the Rams, but the comparison isn't accurate. Faulk and Bruce were already known to be great offensive weapons and Torry Holt was the highest rated receiver out of that 1999 draft. Chicago doesn't have guys with that type of potent offensive background on the roster right now.

Now the cast of characters is mostly nondescript in Chicago. There's Jay Cutler, Matt Forte, Chester Taylor, Devin Hester, Devin Aromashodu, Johnny Knox, Juaquin Iglesias and Earl Bennett.

But with this team, and this quarterback, he's over the top, even for Martz -- and I've heard him say some outlandishly positive things about questionable players before.

Yet even though Peter has heard Martz say outlandishly positive things about questionable players before, he will give him a forum in his MMQB to do this again. It makes sense if you don't think about it. A coach has a history of overstating the things the players he oversees can do, so we are supposed to listen to him when he says outlandish things about his current players and then Peter writes about it as if it is all believable.

"I never let hearsay and gossip determine what I think of a player, and I haven't with Jay,'' he said after the Bears' Saturday practice. "What I've seen in him so far is he has no flaws. None. He's got no ego.

I am sure the entire city of Denver and Josh McDaniels would argue quite differently that Jay Cutler has no ego. He heard last winter he might get traded because the Broncos may draft a quarterback or trade for Matt Cassel. He did not want to get traded so he pouted and essentially forced the Broncos to trade him...which is exactly what he was pissed off about having happen to him in the first place. I would say based on that situation from last year, Jay Cutler has an ego.

He sees things the way Kurt used to see them.

You mean to tell me 7 step drops and relying on deep pass patterns which take time to develop isn't a good idea behind a shaky offensive line? Wait, that's not how Kurt Warner saw things, that's what happened to him in Martz's offense.

Who knows what'll happen if he has a five-pick game (as he did last year against San Francisco) or a four-pick job ('09 against Green Bay).

I think we all know what will happen. Jay Cutler will get booed and Lovie Smith will get fired and Julius Peppers will still be incredibly wealthy and not give a shit either way what is happening because he got paid.

(Sour grapes? Not at all. Just wait Bears fans. It won't happen this year, but the year after that. Peppers will be the only 6'7" inch 290 pound guy who can disappear on a football field.)

That aside, I wanted to know Martz's thoughts about his allocation of wideout resources. I actually think the Bears should consider moving Hester back to where he was dominant his first two years in the league -- in the return game. First two seasons: 152 punt and kickoff returns, 11 touchdowns. Last two seasons: 94 returns, zero touchdowns.

Right Peter, that makes sense. Take the Bears best and most dangerous wide receiver and put him on special teams duty. That's the solution to their offensive woes. Make the Bears special teams more powerful by reducing the effectiveness of the offense. No matter how good Hester is on special teams he gets more chances to touch the ball playing offense.

No question the receiver group is better than the outside world thinks.

It's not terrible, but it also isn't great.

Martz raised eyebrows recently when he said the receiver group is the best single unit on the Bears. "I wouldn't back off that one bit," he says.

If the Bears receivers are the single best unit on the Bears, that isn't saying a whole lot about the other units on the Bears team. It may be more of an insult to the other units on the Bears than a compliment to the wide receivers.

"It boggles my mind people don't see we have some top guys.''

Number of 1000 yard receivers at any point in their career on the Bears roster: Zero

Number of 800 yard receivers at any point in their career on the Bears roster: Zero

Number of 80 catch receivers at any point in their career on the Bears roster: Zero

Number of 60 catch receivers at any point in their career on the Bears roster: 2 (Olsen and Forte)

It boggles my mind how Mike Martz could think a team that has receivers who have never had a 70 catch or 800 yard season are "top guys." Clearly, Mike Martz is still a crazy person if he believes this. The Bears receivers have some potential, but they are currently nowhere near having anyone on the roster who is a top receiver or could be considered a top guy.

In Martz's previous two coordinator gigs -- Detroit (2006, '07) and San Francisco (2008) -- the teams finished 19th, 22nd and 23rd, respectively, in total offense.

Well yeah, but that's because he didn't have multiple Hall of Fame players to work with. An offensive coordinator has to have at least two Hall of Fame players to be successful doesn't he? That's the theory it seems Martz works under.

Unless Cutler throws a bunch of interceptions, the Bears shouldn't finish that poorly.

What's this assumption the Bears offense won't be that bad based on Peter? They finished 23rd last year and the name "Mike Martz" isn't good for a huge offensive bump just based on what he has done with the 49ers and Lions. Of course that was the 49ers and Lions, but still...

But the one problem that's not going away is the raggedy offensive line. Thirty-five sacks wasn't the total story last year for the Bears' line. There was also the constant drumbeat of pressure from everywhere, which forced Cutler to face more pressure than he'd ever seen in Denver.

Has this area improved dramatically? I don't remember it having done so unless the Bears plan to play Brandon Maluamlaualauuaaauua there some times, which I highly doubt will happen. So Cutler may still face a good amount of pressure this year as well.

The downfield throw is what made Warner great, and Cutler will be challenged to be just as accurate.

But with less time given to him by his offensive line.

On Brett Favre undergoing ankle surgery Friday that will facilitate him playing in 2010: Did you expect anything different? I mean, really? After seeing Favre emotionally hug so many teammates and coaches after the NFC Championship game loss at New Orleans four months ago, you had to figure it was either a long goodbye or convincing himself he couldn't live without the game and his new team.

I don't think I have ever heard of a quarterback who is a bigger drama queen than Brett Favre. He can make an ingrown toenail surgery the most dramatic decision in the history of medicine. The sad part is that Peter King and ESPN would be right there to try and scoop each other for the story. So we end up all being pawns in Favre's game.

Brett Favre has a little diarrhea and we all get shit on. That's how I feel every time I hear a story about his latest surgery or whether he will come back to the NFL or not. Is there really anyone who thought Favre wasn't coming back? If so, you are an idiot. He can't ignore the spotlight. This is a guy who has had two retirement press conferences already and I wouldn't be shocked if we ended up with four retirement press conferences when it is all said and done.

Favre wasn't loved by his mates with the Jets, who felt he set himself apart from them. Favre was loved by his mates in Minnesota,

This has nothing to do with Favre or anything else except for the fact the Jets weren't winning and the Vikings were. Winning is the bottom line like it always is.

all you had to do was see him and wideout Sidney Rice embrace for 45 seconds after the title game and whisper sweet nothings into each others ears and then dab their eyes when they let go of each other.

"Sweet nothings?" Really Peter? This sad, emotional scene almost makes us forget Favre used fairly underhanded tactics for two years in order to play for the Vikings, in the process stabbing the entire state of Wisconsin in the back, because he didn't like that a younger, superior quarterback was going to get his spot as the starting quarterback for the Packers because Brett Favre chose to retire. It almost makes you forget this. Of course I could never forget this.

Favre loved the Vikings.

Favre also loved the Packers and look where that got them.

Then Peter includes three "Quotes of the Week" courtesy of Zach Thomas for some reason. Apparently Zach Thomas is a very interesting person to talk to.

Three numerical points regarding the overtime debate:

1. The league averages 13 overtime games a year. That's 5.1 percent of the games in a season. That's three overtime games a month. To me, it's not revolutionizing the game, or adding much to the time of a game, or to the burden on the networks, to make overtime reform part of the regular season.

2. Eleven teams did not play an overtime game in 2009. Only four teams played more than one.

3. Detroit has not played an overtime game in its last 46 games. Seattle (30), San Francisco (30) and Houston (29) have gone nearly two years without playing extra time.

Here is the most interesting part about these three bullet points to me. Peter King has spent the last year and five months advocating for the NFL overtime to be overhauled because of how unfair the coin toss is and how this unfairly decides NFL games. He's used this argument multiple times, so Peter sees the NFL overtime system as needed to be fixed because of the doomsday scenarios we have seen where only one team touches the ball in overtime or (God forbid) a team wins on a field goal in overtime rather than a touchdown.

BUT NOW, since networks are worried about making the games too long and having the NFL games extend into their other programming, Peter is pointing out how little overtime actually happens in the NFL. So it happens enough to where the whole system needs to be overhauled, but it doesn't happen enough that the networks should worry about losing money on other programming. That's the premise Peter wants us to buy.

1. I left my Blackberry in a taxi after being dropped at Walter Reed Army Medical Center early Wednesday afternoon. If the cabbie (a nice Ethiopian fellow who coaches youth soccer in Takoma Park, Md.) who finds my phone would be so kind as to contact me at si.peterking@gmail.com, there'll be a reward in it for him. By the way, I stupidly never downloaded the contact list from the phone onto my computer, so I've got to regenerate my phone list. So those of you who have given me your cell and home and office numbers over the years would be so kind as to e-mail them to me at that address, I'll be indebted. Thanks. And don't worry, I have the phone password-protected. There are some pretty good numbers there, but they won't be falling into the wrong hands.

The password? Brett Favre.

2. Washington has to be the best walking city in America.

The best crawling city? Seattle, Washington.

The best sprinting city? Abilene, Texas

By the way, I've asked my Twitter followers to vote by noon today whether they want me to Tweet on soccer from South Africa between June 10-26 (I'm back home after the Group Stage), or stay idle. I've been overwhelmed with responses since last night, and I'd love to hear from you about whether you want to hear from me on life, coffee and futbol from South Africa, or whether you want me to shut up. Your call. Majority will rule.

Can we get a vote on whether we want Peter to shut up about Brett Favre?

3. I think this Anthony Galea HGH/pro athletes story will touch a lot of people, and a lot of teams, in the NFL before it's all over. The next PED crisis in the NFL is HGH, and we'd all be naive to think scores of players in the NFL aren't using HGH, knowing there's no reliable way to test for it.

If we find out that Miles Austin was using HGH this year, we should have a revote for the Pro Bowl and take Tony Romo out of receiving that honor. Cheaters shall never prosper in the NFL for using PEDs!

I'm going to die laughing when we find out a popular defensive player has been using HGH for 10 years and there isn't a revote for any of his awards or anything. Ok, not die laughing, but the slippery slope I was talking about a few weeks ago in regard to Brian Cushing, this is what I was talking about. NFL players use PEDs and they win awards after using these PEDs. At what degree of separation do we not have revotes for awards to make sure a person in the vote hasn't prospered from a player using PEDs? Should there be a revote if the leading receiver for a team is caught and the quarterback for said team won the MVP? How about if a running back wins the MVP and three of the offensive lineman are caught having used PEDs. Should the 2002 NFC Championship trophy be taken back because three players on the Panthers offensive line used PEDs?

5. I think there's little doubt Wes Welker is ahead of where anyone thought he'd be right now, after February surgery on his knee and shoulder. Three months post-surgery, he was dancing to "You Should Be Dancing'' by the Bee Gees Saturday night at the Magic-Celtics game in Boston, and earlier in the day, multiple reports had Welker moving well and jogging through routes at his football camp in a Boston suburb. He's not playing opening day -- that would be way too quick a recovery -- but it looks like Welker could be back earlier in the season than any of us thought.

Where's a graph breaking down the Patriots passing game with/without Wes Welker? Is that scheduled for next week's MMQB?

8. I think this is just a hunch, but I wouldn't be surprised if Terrell Owens signs with Washington.

Remember the "old" Washington Redskins that signed aging, declining free agent players to long term contracts? That's not the case anymore. The "new" Washington Redskins sign aging, declining veterans to short term contracts and make sure any young receivers they have on the roster have a bad role model on the roster and don't gain experience on the field because Owens is demanding playing time. Things have changed so much in Washington since Bruce Allen and Mike Shanahan took over!

i. And I traded Roy Halladay, in a big package that netted me Pablo Sandoval and Corey Hart, and I picked up Scott Rolen. Had no choice. I can't hit.

Last week Peter traded Felix Hernandez and this week he trades Roy Halladay...for Corey Hart and Pablo Sandoval. I don't know how Peter's league is set up, but in the BotB league Hart is the 153rd ranked player (as an outfielder nonetheless) and Sandoval is the 297th ranked player at first base and third base. Halladay is the 9th ranked player. The best thing Peter did here was pick up Scott Rolen, but I can't believe he traded Halladay for those two piece of crap fantasy players.

Who trades a top 3 Fantasy pitcher for a player who the seller is selling low on and an outfielder that may be on the waiver wire in some leagues? You don't trade Halladay and then buy low on Sandoval! You pick up a player you KNOW is going to be good in return for a pitcher you know is good.

Peter had a choice and I can't imagine Halladay couldn't have gotten him a larger and better package of players.

I've cast my miserable hitting lot with Pablo Sandoval now, who's got to wake up and be the stud he was last year.

Peter traded Halladay for a player who is a risk like Sandoval? But why?

l. I really miss New Jersey. Not enough to move back, but I have so many good memories of the place. The softball. The pizza. The family life. The Star-Ledger on the doorstep. Wouldn't trade our 24 years there for anything.

But what about Boston and all the dogs that can be found there? Isn't that what a home is supposed to be about? Dogs being walked on the streets and a Starbucks on every corner?