Thursday, May 6, 2010

Peter King Betrays Brett Favre, Calls Charlie Whitehurst "Jesus"

I say this every single week, but I wish Peter King would have a longer mailbag on Tuesdays, especially in the offseason when he doesn't have to write as much for Sports Illustrated. It doesn't happen though and my heart breaks over it (not really). Today, Peter finds there are NFL teams that play on the West Coast, and talks a little bit about how he needs to go to Favre rehab.

As I have started to do, I will start to make fun of the people asking the questions to Peter also...simply because some of them contain statements of stupidity in them.

There will be expectations now -- that he can push Matt Hasselbeck for the starting job, and even if he loses that competition, that he'll be ready to play at a moment's notice for the Seahawks this year.

Considering Matt Hasselbeck has missed 11 games over the last two seasons, Charlie Whitehurst had better be ready to play. No offense to Seneca Wallace, but it wouldn't take too much for Whitehurst to be a better backup quarterback. He would just have to be able to complete passes and be able to see over the offensive linemen.

Until now, the thickly brown-bearded, long-haired Whitehurst has been known for one thing as a Charger: his resemblance to Jesus Christ,

This just cracked me up for some reason. He just looks like a white guy with a full beard to me, but what do I know? I just never dreamed the sentence, "Whitehurst has been known for one things as a Charger, his resemblance to Jesus Christ" would appear in a sports column of any type.

Somewhere you know Brett Favre is pretty pissed off that Charlie Whitehurst gets compared to Jesus Christ. You also know that Tim Tebow is sending a text to Peter King warning him to not worship false idols.

at least to how Christ looks in the photos and images we've become used to seeing.

Yes, I do remember all those photos we have of how Jesus Christ looked during his time on Earth. That picture of Him and John the Baptist at the Halloween party dressed like Cain and Abel is hilarious!

Whitehurst has formed a nice little bond with Hasselbeck. Let me say that if you can't form a good bond with Hasselbeck, you are either a Martian or speak only Swahili.

Screw you people who speak Swahili, Matt Hasselbeck has no interest in speaking to you. You will NEVER have a bond with him like Charlie Whitehurst has.

I am sure these dinners aren't awkward at all where the new quarterback meets the old quarterback's family:

"Hey family, here is Charlie. He is currently competing to take daddy's job and the team has given him a new contract and traded draft picks for him and are probably secretly cheering for him to succeed and make daddy expendable THIS YEAR. Treat him kindly." (Whispers to his wife to poison Charlie "Jesus" Whitehurst's food)

On one of his first nights in Seattle, Whitehurst got an invitation to dinner with the Hasselbeck family -- Matt, his wife and three kids. The kids figured out something was different at the meal because they didn't open it with grace, as they usually do.

"Daddy,'' 8-year-old Annabelle said, acting like she'd just figured out one of the great mysteries of life, "we didn't have to say grace because we ate with Jesus.''

What a hilarious story! If the indication this was a slow NFL news week wasn't obvious on Monday when Peter drug out his MMQB to four pages through stories about stolen drugs, full page letters to Roger Goodell, and a dedication to a retiring punter...then it is completely obvious how slow the NFL news week is now that we are hearing stories of Charlie Whitehurst eating dinner with the Hasselbeck clan.

What witty retort did Papa Hasselbeck have?

"I'm thinking he looks more like Barry Gibb,'' Matt Hasselbeck said.

Wow, it is true that NFL players are just like normal people. They still tell bad jokes to their families like normal fathers do. You know Charlie Whitehurst was sitting at the dinner table thinking, "If I can't beat this guy out for the starting quarterback job, I will never beat anyone out for a job" after Hasselbeck made this joke.

"It's not true to say he hasn't played,'' Carroll told me. "He has played, just not in regular-season games.

I do like the Charlie Whitehurst trade for the Seahawks, but if Charlie Whitehurst hasn't played in an NFL regular season game then he hasn't played in the NFL yet. That's just the bottom line. There is a huge difference in a regular season game and a preseason game. A huge, massive difference. Some players are preseason All-Stars because they never have to go up against the 1st string players for the other team and it makes them look better than they really are. I am not saying this is the case with Whitehurst, but we can't rule it out completely.

But he's played against guys with NFL talent fighting to make NFL rosters.

But he hasn't played against the best players at each position on a team. The players Whitehurst has played against in the preseason as the 3rd string quarterback are guys with NFL talent, but they generally don't have the talent to be a starter in the NFL. They are fighting to make an NFL roster for a reason. These players may have talent, but they don't have the talent that allows them to be the kind of starters as a whole defense that Whitehurst will face from week-to-week as the starter. It is a completely different world from staring an actual NFL game.

I like the Whitehurst trade, but Pete Carroll's reasoning for the trade is starting to make me second-guess my position.

Whitehurst takes the questions about his inexperience well. He says he felt he was good enough to be number two in San Diego, but the coaches picked Billy Volek, the more experienced player, to be the backup to Philip Rivers.

There can be an argument that a team would only choose an experienced backup quarterback if they didn't like the younger quarterback, but I don't think it matters. Many teams would prefer to have an older guy be the backup over a 3rd string player who is more experienced. It does raise the question of why the Chargers wouldn't trust Whitehurst enough after 4 years in the offense to be the backup, but the Seahawks see him as a future starter. That question does pop into my head.

It's going to be an interesting quarterback competition. I expect Hasselbeck to win it, but I wouldn't be surprised if Whitehurst is impressive in training camp that Carroll finds a way to get him playing time this year.

How is Pete Carroll going to find a way to get Whitehurst playing time? He isn't a quarterback like Mike Vick or Tim Tebow that can do something special and should be brought in for special packages. It's not like he is a Wildcat or scrambling quarterback. I am interested as to exactly what Peter means by this. I just don't know where Whitehurst fits into the offense during a game if he isn't the starter.

From Stan Weisel, of Pomona, N.Y.: "Based on your MMQB, what are the chances of Jeff Feagles going to the HOF in five years? Although Ray Guy was always the favorite to be the first punter in the Hall, don't you think Feagles qualifies based on his ability, longevity and overall character?''

No. If Ray Guy isn't in the Hall of Fame, then Jeff Feagles and his 110th all-time gross punting average doesn't make it either. So Feagles' ability for directional punting is admirable, but one specific skill like that shouldn't make him a Hall of Fame player. Longevity is a terrible reason for voting a person, much less a punter, into the Hall of Fame. He stuck around for 22 years playing only 1/20 of the total snaps in a game, it is impressive, but nowhere near impressive enough to be in the Hall of Fame. As far as character goes, there is no way character should be used to get a player in the NFL Hall of Fame.

PK: What he has on his side is longevity and directional-punting ability, which are formidable qualities. It's possible, with athletes staying in the kind of the shape they do these days, that other punters of this era could last 20 years or so as well -- and they might have better overall numbers than Feagles' top-ranked punting-yardage mark and 110th-place all-time gross punting average.

I would say Jeff Feagles would be a terrible addition to the Hall of Fame if he made it. I don't hate the guy, but it would be a terrible mistake to induct him.

But it's up to us, also, to look beyond raw numbers as many members of our committee did this year when electing Floyd Little, who had a 3.9-yard career rushing average.

Just because the committee was moronic and inducted Floyd Little, who did not deserve induction, doesn't mean they should consider putting Jeff Feagles into the Hall of Fame. One idiotic decision shouldn't serve as the template for further idiotic decisions. Not only is Feagles a good directional punter, and that is about it, the only other thing notable about him is how long he played in the NFL...as a punter. Hall of Fame application rejected.

From Juan of Bogata, Colombia: "Hey, Peter. I would like to have your opinion on the new contract for Kevin Kolb as he becomes one of the highest-paid Eagles and he hasn't accomplished anything (yet).

Nearly every single year rookies come out of the NFL Draft and get paid to be one of the highest paid players on their respective teams. Unproven players being highly paid isn't a new thing, so I don't know why a person would have a problem with it when it comes to Kevin Kolb. Kevin Kolb has been in the NFL for a few years, has had some success at the quarterback position, and the Eagles have essentially committed themselves to him as the starter...so this all adds up to a new contract. Unfortunately, in the NFL you don't have to do anything at the time you get drafted to get a big contract sometimes, but Kolb has at least proven to be a respectable quarterback in the NFL.

PK: I don't think the Kolb contract was excessive, really. It's $12.26-million over two years for a guy who's going to be the starting quarterback of a playoff-caliber team. The Eagles could have waited 'til the end of the season, I suppose -- but then they risked having to franchise him for a single season in 2011 for significantly more money than they would be paying him in this two-year deal.

For once, I agree with Peter on this. I don't know about Eagles fans, and feel free to chime in, but I would rather Kolb have a bad year this year and then the Eagles will only have him for one more year, than him have a fantastic year and worry about having to franchise him or lose him after this season if they can't meet on a contract extension. Sure if he blows up, he is going to want a huge contract anyway, but now the Eagles have more time to plan and negotiate one with him if this occurs. It seems logical to me to make him the starter and then pay him like that. Correct me if I am wrong Eagles fans.

From Ashley of Cincinnati: "It seems to me one of the unluckiest guys of the draft this year was Tony Pike. I thought he was a guy who could have been challenging for a starting job by the end of the season had the right team drafted him.

Let's not get carried away Ashley. Pike was a guy who had injury problems and the Bearcats offense didn't struggle with him not being the starter. Pike is going to need at least 1-2 years before he can challenge for the starter position on a good team. The only way the right team could have drafted him and had him be the starter is if it was a crappy team that drafted him, and then they are probably replacing him at some point in the near future anyway.

Now being on the same team as Jimmy Clausen, how much better would Pike have to look to move ahead on the depth chart?''

He would have to play better than Jimmy Clausen. Of course he is currently 4th on the depth chart behind Clausen, Hunter Cantwell and Matt Moore, so he has to outplay every single one of them to be the starter as well.

PK: That was one of my first thoughts after the draft, Ashley. I found it odd that they would draft two quarterbacks of promise, but when you think of what they had -- basically, Matt Moore is the only quarterback with any experience -- it seems that Clausen and Pike could be the second and third quarterbacks on the depth chart.

I mentioned before the draft I liked Pike, (of course I can't find it because I write so much stuff I can never find anything on here I have written) but Pike is a frail guy. He was injured a lot at Cincinnati. I don't agree with the perception he played in a "quarterback-friendly offense" and this very fact should bring him down in the eyes of NFL scouts. Didn't nearly EVERY good quarterback that was drafted this year play in a quarterback-friendly system in college?

No one cares, but the Panthers love Hunter Cantwell a lot and both Clausen and Pike are going to have to pass Cantwell to be 2nd/3rd on the depth chart. Either way, Pike may have some potential, but he is a developmental starter at this point, no matter what NFL team he had ended up on.

From Kevin Bedard of Westford, Mass.: "Two things ... 1. Laurence Maroney -- I completely agree. I don't like his running style. He's good for a burst of eight or a two-yard loss while he dances behind the line looking for a hole. Nothing in between. I was never on board with the release of Corey Dillon in favor of Maroney.

Why didn't Bill Belichick ask Kevin from Westford his opinion on Maroney? He was NEVER in favor of releasing Dillon in favor of Maroney. NEVER. It should not have been done. So what if Dillon's stats were decreasing rapidly, Belichick should have asked Kevin first about cutting Dillon and keeping Maroney.

2. After the free agent pick ups and the draft selections by the Jets, I have to say I am scared! They went to the AFC Championship Game last year and I think they're going to be a much better team this year. I think their weakest link now is [Mark] Sanchez, who is not that weak.

He's weak as a quarterback, but he was also a rookie. He was a great game manager last year in the playoffs and other than that...he managed the game well in the playoffs. I am going to be interested to see how Sanchez progresses this year because he almost got benched for Kellen Clemens at one point last year I believe. He played pretty well in the playoffs last year and I wonder if they will carry over to this year.

They have improved their already very good running game with LT,

Absolutely untrue. They have downgraded their running game by having Joe McKnight, Tomlinson, Shonn Greene as their running backs instead of Thomas Jones, Leon Washington, and Shonn Greene. LaDainian Tomlinson is not an upgrade in any fashion compared to Thomas Jones, unless he has a comeback year, and anyone who claims he is an upgrade over Thomas Jones hasn't been paying attention to the past two years. Thomas Jones was much better than Tomlinson over the last two years and could very well be better this year also.

their receiver corps, their secondary.

I am not quite convinced the Jets upgraded their secondary with the addition of Antonio Cromartie. I know I sound like a crazy person, but we don't know how he will do with the Jets blitzing defense and Kyle Wilson is a rookie and rookie cornerbacks usually get burned frequently. Yes, they appear to have improved their secondary, but we won't know for sure how it all works out until the season begins. I really think it is a little early to start freaking out if you are a Patriots fan.

And that doesn't include their draft picks.

Kevin's analysis does actually include their draft picks already. He should probably know this. He mentioned the Jets' running game and they drafted a running back, and he mentioned the secondary and the Jets drafted a cornerback. They only had four draft picks, so there are only 2 draft picks left to account for from this year.

Not sure what Bill Belichick has up his sleeve to combat them.

Probably the same thing he did last year to win the AFC East. The Jets have improved on paper, there is no doubt about that, but I don't think we can just automatically say they are the favorite in the AFC East. The Patriots still have a good team and the Dolphins aren't bad themselves.

PK: I'm trying to sort all of that out right now. The Jets have gotten close to the Patriots, and perhaps surpassed them, and the Patriots have tinkered with the roster while the Jets have added the most name players of any team in football to the roster.

That's the key though, the Jets have added name players, but this doesn't mean the team is necessarily any better. This is very important to remember. What they have done looks sexy, but the Saints didn't seem to make any great moves last offseason and they ended up winning the Super Bowl AND the head coach got free Vicodin. That's a good year.

From Greg of Toronto: "LOL. I love when you say 'I'm finished predicting what Favre will do' and then proceed to write 'I'd bet he plays next year.' That had me laughing. With respect to Favre, you are like a crack addict or gambling addict. Even when you think you've stopped you're still abusing and using. You need help!''

This email to Peter could have been dated "1995" or even "2005." The one certainty in this world is that Peter King needs Brett Favre rehab. He can't help but bring him up in nearly every single MMQB and probably has too tight of a relationship with Favre when compared to a healthy reporter-athlete relationship.

PK: I have but one comment: Admit me to Favre rehab.

How about Peter just doesn't talk about him until he has made a final decision (after training camp)?

From Cory Payne of Austin, Texas: "Wait a sec, you are enticing people to come to support the Matt Light Foundation and the Greater Boston Food Bank with your help in a fantasy draft? By your own admission you have terrible luck predicting rotisserie baseball, Favre's future, the Kentucky Derby, but now we get your expertise in fantasy football? Scary thought. Can you just maybe slide the lucky winner an extra dessert or maybe a Starbuck's gift card?

Peter King will be damned if he is handing over an extra dessert, and the Starbucks gift cards he gets every week are HIS to keep. They even have his name on the envelope as addressed to him only. You can't have his extra dessert or Starbuck's gift cards.

PK: I did, though, have a great tip for people in Steve Spurrier's first year in Washington. I told them to skip Favre and Manning high in the draft and take Danny Wuerffel in the middle rounds. That turned out to be gold, didn't it?

Who would actually want to take fantasy advice from Peter King with recommendations like this one?

-Woody Paige isn't done defending Tim Tebow.

He wants everyone to lay off Tebow for his faith. I don't really have anything sarcastic to say about this article and it wasn't bad journalism. Really, I just wish everyone would quit talking about Tebow's religion completely. It is just another example I see of sportswriters loving themselves some Tim Tebow and writing articles either defending Tebow or putting their pom-poms on for Tebow. I think those in the Denver area are going to be seeing a lot of this in the near future.

The next decade (potentially) is going to be the Decade of Tebow and not a foul thing about him shall ever be said.

8 comments:

  1. I totally agree about the Jets running backs. They downgraded. Jones is better than Tomlinson and Washington is better than an unproven McKnight. And their running game in general got worse with Faneca being cut. Now they're just an even more extreme version of last year's team: better defense, worse offense.

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  2. Seneca Wallace is on the Browns now.

    And Jesus was BLACK!!!

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  3. I think the Jets are going to miss Washington than they even suspect. He was a really nice speed back for the northeast, by which I mean he still was able to utilize his speed in less then ideal conditions.

    Joe McKnight....wow. He was a fumbling machine at USC in great weather conditions being hit by guys half the size and half as fast as NFL players. I'll be shocked if he turns out to be of any kind of value after about October 14th ever year.

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  4. I am not sold on the Jets running game at all. They downgraded. They got "name" players and everyone just assumes that means they are better. It's not true.

    Yeah, I know Seneca Wallace is on the Browns, I was just saying Whitehurst doesn't have to work hard to be better than him as the backup for the Seahawks. Jesus was Latino wasn't he?

    I am not a huge Washington fan but I like him a lot more than I like Joe McKnight. He has just been a major disappointment. If I am a Patriots fan I respect what the Jets tried to do, but I still think that division is up for grabs.

    I just don't see how the Jets have a better running game this year.

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  5. I think by mid-season, the Jets will be moaning about the mistakes they made at running back. Of course, I thought the Bears were going to the Super Bowl last year, so you probably shouldn't pay attention to me.

    I can't say any more. Too...broken up. What the Raiders did to Jamarcus...{sob}

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  6. Yeah, I would agree. There is a part of me that thinks maybe there were outside circumstances that prevented Tomlinson from being successful over the last couple of years, but I doubt it. The Jets have a good offense line, but the Chargers line isn't terrible. I think they downgraded personally. It is not like we know if Shonn Greene can carry the load all year or not.

    JaMarcus Russell. ESPN had him linked to the Saints with the QB genius Sean Payton. Any team that takes him on is foolish unless he gets motivated quickly.

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  7. PK has a short article on Russell getting cut. It's pretty harmless except for this:

    The NFL will use Russell as its biggest chip in talks with the players union about why a rookie wage scale is not only what the league badly wants, but is essential to any well-run business. It hasn't made sense for years for owners to pay 20 or so of the most unproven players in the game millions in guarantees.

    Hey Peter, no one forced the owners to pay out those types of contracts. Is the rookie salary structure insane? Absolutely, but to say that "it hasn't made sense for years..." is a tad naive and stupid. If it hasn't made sense in years, then the salaries wouldn't be paid. The fact that the salaries are going UP every year kid of proves how ludicrous this argument is.

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  8. Rich, I don't like the salary structure for rookies either, but if the owners had a huge problem with it they would have tried to stop it a lot harder than they have.

    It doesn't make a ton of sense for unproven rookies to make so much money, but that's the way it is currently.

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