MMQB Review: Return of Favre Part III Edition

This is the daily reminder I have set up a College Football Pick 'Em League for Yahoo. Personally, this is my second favorite fantasy league because it keeps my interest in college football games I wouldn't normally care about on Saturdays. I have set it up against the spread and the games we will be choosing are Top 25 games and games the Yahoo editors choose as "worthy" of being chosen. The ID is 1704 and the password is "asu." Feel free to join and it doesn't take long each week to pick the games, plus it is fun to go against the spread. We only have five people now and it doesn't take long to do every week.

Last week in Peter King's MMQB we learned that we live in a Coors Light generation that doesn't appreciate the finer beers that are available. We also learned that somehow Peter found the only college student in America as his intern who could afford to buy beer that isn't $12.99 for a 24 pack. Peter also told us that a man stared at him for a few hours at a coffee shop and then described how meditation is such a wonderful thing, even though of course Peter doesn't partake. He never thought maybe the guy at the coffee shop was meditating or was taking in the world around him.

Today, Peter King can't hold it in any longer, he just has to talk about Brett Favre.

Minnesota coach Brad Childress knew there would be coaches, players and media wasting him for fawning after Brett Favre the way he has the past couple of weeks.

This is how desperate to win Brad Childress is. He doesn't care that he has lost the respect of his players and coaches around the league. He just wants to win and seems to have no confidence he can win without Brett Favre on the Vikings team.

Childress is fine with being the punching bag for going waaaaaay over the top to get Favre back. Because, as he said last night from the Vikings' locker room in San Francisco: "There are no sacrosanct rules in this business. You do what you have to do to win, and I've got no problem with that.

I think it is a bit ridiculous how over the top Childress has gone to get Favre back, but I can't really blame him. What I don't understand is how Brad Childress thinks bringing Favre back this year is in any shape a long-term plan for the organization. Even if the Vikings win the Super Bowl this year, Favre may retire and then the team will be back at square one without a quarterback that Childress trusts. So Favre is Childress' life boat, but it's only a short-term lifeboat.

You can't get a hit if you don't swing the bat.''

Unfortunately, we are talking about playing football, not baseball. Also, you can draw a walk if you don't swing the bat and that is the same thing as a base-hit (or at least a single). I think some of the Vikings players would like to see Childress get hit-by-a-pitch.

If that were true, why did Childress have to send the quarterback's three best friends on the team on a secret mission to deliver him back to Minnesota if he was so sure Favre would be there for opening day?

There seems to be a pretty obvious answer to this the question. The Vikings weren't sure what the hell Brett Favre would do. This is a guy who sent a text message a month ago saying he was retiring and then claims he never sent the message. No one knows what the hell Favre is going to do...ever.

Con job. Phony. A ploy. Say what you want. Favre was probably coming back anyway -- we all know that.

I knew Favre was coming back, but if you are the Vikings and you have put all of your eggs for this season in the basket of Favre, wouldn't you make sure he is coming back? I can't blame Childress at all for going to the lengths he went to in getting Favre back. He had never thought of or planned for a back-up in case Favre retired, so Favre playing this year was the only outcome that Childress wanted to see out of this situation.

I am hard on Brett Favre, but Brad Childress got his contract extension based on his success last year with Favre as his quarterback. Without Favre, he doesn't get the extension, and don't think Brett Favre doesn't know that. Childress is trying to win a Super Bowl now because I don't think he is confident he can groom a quarterback, or at least he doesn't seem confident.

I'm not sure who really knows Favre in our business. I think I do, but I've been wrong about his fate so often in the past three years I've surrendered my title as a Favrologist.

But Peter hasn't surrendered the benefits of being a Favrologist though, which include long talks on the back porch, fire light chats about the Favre family, a back rub from the Favre family member of Peter's choice and at least one returned phone call per month.

But I have been on his property and in his kitchen and seen the world he inhabits down there. It's comfortable. It's country. It's richy-rich. But it's his own fiefdom, it's private as hell, and if he wants to shoot an offending varmint, he can, and no one's the wiser.

I guess Peter thinks Favre is the living embodiment of Elmer Fudd.

"The hardest thing we had to do, the hardest thing by far, was getting him down that long driveway in Hattiesburg,'' Childress said. "Once we got him to go down that long driveway, we had him. He was in.''

Having seen Favre's ego in public over the last couple of years, we all know that Brett completely enjoyed having all this attention piled on him. It probably gives him an erection to see a group of three of his teammates coming down his driveway trying to get him to play for the Vikings this year.

One last point: I asked Childress if he'd alter his playcalls or game plans because of Favre's bum ankle. Favre said the other day his May 22 ankle surgery hadn't solved all his problems there; in fact, a new spur had grown on the ankle bone since the surgery. "Not from what I've see in practice so far,'' Childress said. "Brett was never Michael Vick, obviously, but he doesn't look a lick different to me.''

Translation: I know Brett can be a bit of a diva about having an injury. While other quarterbacks play through the pain and hide it from everyone (Tom Brady, Peyton Manning), Brett sends out pictures to the media so they know just how injured he truly is. He craves that attention. Brett's bone spur won't affect him any worse than the other quarterbacks playing in the NFL who are hiding their injuries, so I have no problem moving him around the field if necessary.

1. Commissioner Roger Goodell and NFLPA chief DeMaurice Smith are getting along markedly better -- they had a mostly friendly meeting Aug. 13 -- which is a good sign. But no one on either side expects much business to be transacted this fall. Except, possibly, for modifying some penalties for discipline -- such as uniform violations.

Why would either side transact business now when they could just wait nearly a year and eventually start working a proposal that they would have agreed to right now if they had actually tried hard enough? Where's the fun in agreeing right now? Let's drag this shit out to make it look like we are fighting harder for our side.

4. I don't see Seattle trading for Vincent Jackson this week.

So it won't happen. Thanks for the information.

It might get done, but talks have chilled.

Or it might happen. Again, thanks for the information that the trade of Vincent Jackson to the Seahawks may or may not happen.

8. The Redskins players really like their coordinators, Jim Haslett and Kyle Shanahan.

I would assume that the Redskins like their coordinators, since the Redskins hired these guys to run the offense and defense. I am sure it doesn't hurt how much the Redskins like Kyle Shanahan that he is the coach's son.

Offensive players like Shanahan because he's a football nerd who figures things out pretty fast for a 30-year-old who looks 19.

Or as Joe Morgan would say, Kyle Shanahan is the best offensive coordinator that looks 19 in the NFL.

9. There will be a longer line chasing John Fox than Bill Cowher after the season.

(Bengoodfella vomiting)

I know this happens in my state, so I will of course think this is an underplayed story, but the owner of Carolina is willing to not re-sign one of the Top 10 coaches in the NFL (maybe higher than that) because he wants to stay in line with the other owners. He is willing to permanently hurt his own team to focus more on the other owner's interests and doesn't want to pay a coach big money until the labor agreement is reached. It's madness. Even if Carolina offered Fox 5 years at $40 million he would probably turn it down because he feels disrespected.

10. Dexter McCluster could have the kind of impact on the Chiefs that Devin Hester had on the Bears four years ago. Not necessarily in the return game, but in pure explosive play-making ability.

Apparently, Dexter McCluster is going to be like Devin Hester for the Bears, except not really that much like him.

I just read that 23 million Americans play fantasy football -- and the most common questions I get out on the road are fantasy ones. So here's at least one piece of advice from every camp I visited, keeping in mind I stink at the fantasy game.

"Everyone listen up, I am getting ready to give you some really shitty advice!"

I wonder if this is how Peter parents his children also.

"Mary Beth, I am going to tell you what to do in this situation, but keep in my mind I give terrible advice."

Chicago: I'd steer clear of Matt Forte. Nothing against new OL coach Mike Tice, but I don't trust that line to pave the way for a great running game.

It wasn't just a couple of weeks ago that Peter wrote part of his MMQB on the Bears and said Offensive Line coach Mike Tice was the most valuable coach on the Bears staff. I guess he isn't valuable enough to make a difference in the offensive line's performance?

Houston: You probably can't pick Arian Foster too high, though he did burn an owner or two in Week 15 last season when his early fumble resulted in a two-carry, seven-yard benching. The Houston coaches still are skeptical of Steve Slaton's ability to hold onto the ball, and Ben Tate's gone for the year, so Foster could be a top-20 running back. Now, Foster fumbled Saturday night, but from the replay it looked like he did so switching the ball from one hand to the other. That's different from getting it stripped, a problem he hasn't had.

So don't worry fantasy owners and Texans fans, Foster won't fumble when he is hit by a defender, he will fumble just while carrying the ball with no one around him. I hope you feel better now.

Indianapolis: Based on history, Anthony Gonzalez won't stay healthy. But let's say he and Austin Collie both play 16 games. Gonzalez would have better numbers across the board. I just think Peyton Manning trusts him a little more right now.

How the hell can Peyton Manning trust a guy who hasn't played a game in over a year compared to Austin Collie who seemed to have a great connection with Manning last year? I would think Manning had a better connection with Collie, because it looked like they were on the same page all last year.

Pittsburgh: Mike Wallace had 39 catches and six touchdowns last year. Double both. He'll finish the year a top-20 fantasy wideout.

78 catches and 12 touchdowns? He is moving from the slot receiver position to being the #2 receiver, which are completely different from each other, and he is only in his second year in the league. That's a pretty optimistic view of Wallace.

San Francisco: Don't let sixth-round running back Anthony Dixon get past you. Frank Gore has had four significant surgeries in his football life, and Brian Westbrook is on his last legs ... For the Niners to have a chance, Michael Crabtree has to be a force of nature. Talking to him and Niner people, even with the questionable Alex Smith at quarterback, I don't think Crabtree will disappoint.

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE CRABTREE CURSE? THE 49ERS WILL NEVER WIN NOW THAT THEY HAVE GIVEN IN TO CRABTREE!

Washington:Mike Shanahan and offensive architect and son Kyle like Chris Cooley,

As do fantasy owners, which is why he was traditionally drafted highly for a tight end for a couple of years.

Fantasy owners! Pay attention to Antonio Gates. He may put up good numbers this year.

"Next year, I'm not coming either.''

-- Washington defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth, after what he deemed was an insulting move by coach Mike Shanahan -- making him play in the third quarter of the second preseason game, when the field is full of backups. He referred to his plans for next offseason, when he said he will duplicate what he did this offseason, which is to not show up for the offseason program. This infuriated Shanahan.

I still can't believe the Redskins thought it was a good idea to sign Haynesworth last year. He has all the talent in the world, but he is a malcontent when he isn't playing for a contract. I feel like every owner, but Dan Snyder knew this. Unfortunately, Mike Shanahan is now learning this. I wish the Redskins could just cut Haynesworth because he is nothing but a headache to them.

"One thing for sure that is clear to me is that Albert has gotten away in the past with playing without practicing. That will not happen under this regime. If he's going to play, he's going to practice, and that is the same with every player here. The days of him playing without practicing are over. And that, to me, says it all.''

-- Shanahan, to AOL FanHouse's Thomas George on Sunday.

I have been a bit critical of Shanahan, but good for him. He won't let Fat Albert hold the team hostage. Of course, Shanahan may want to cut Haynesworth to replace him with a rotation of Darrell Russell, Gerard Warren and various other failed high draft choices who play the defensive line position.

The 44 voters for the Pro Football Hall of Fame are going to have a very interesting decision on our hands in seven or eight years. That's the case of Hines Ward, 34, who appears set to open the season as the Steelers' number one receiver again, with second-year man Mike Wallace on the other side to replace Santonio Holmes.

Both receivers who started for the Steelers glory teams, Lynn Swann and John Stallworth, are in the Hall. Swann and Stallworth played on four Super Bowl winners. Ward has played on two. The most interesting stat comparing Swann, Stallworth and the charismatic Ward: In 12 seasons, Ward has caught more balls than Swann and Stallworth caught in a combined 23 seasons.

This isn't necessarily a sign of how good Hines Ward is, but is a sign of how Lynn Swann should not be in the Hall of Fame and there is much more passing that takes place in the NFL compared to how it was in the 1970's. Let's not compare Ward's candidacy for the Hall of Fame with one of the mistakes at the receiver that was put in the Hall of Fame. That's a good way to let a ton of above average receivers in the Hall of Fame.

In 1978, the Steelers passed on 39 percent of their offensive plays. In 2009, they passed on 58 percent.

Exactly. Stallworth and Swann didn't have as many opportunities to catch the ball and this has to be taken into account when determining any modern wide receiver's candidacy for the Hall of Fame.

Ward told me the other day his "ultimate goal'' is to get to 1,000 career receptions. And if he had three times the catches of Swann, with the same number of Super Bowl MVPs (one) ... well, that's a pretty good case to make for Canton.

Peter needs to compare Ward to other Hall of Fame receivers, not just Lynn Swann.

"Not bad,'' Ward said, "for a guy picked in the third round, with no ACL in one knee, picked as pretty much a special-teams player by a team that really didn't throw that much. I'm pretty amazed by it.''

Whatever. No receiver picked in the third round is seen as a special-teams player. Obviously the Steelers valued him if they chose him that high.

Baltimore tackle Michael Oher has been invited to appear on Oprah twice. He's been invited to the Academy Awards. He's been asked to be in the audience at the ESPYs.

No, no, no and no.

Seems Oher is not very happy with how he was portrayed in The Blind Side movie. He thinks he was made to look like a simpleton who knew nothing about football before he was picked up off the Memphis streets and taken to live with a wealthy family. Seems he has no interest in furthering that public image, so he's concentrating on one thing: being a football player.

That's because that is exactly how he was portrayed. Hollywood doesn't understand any type of nuance when telling a story like was told in "The Blind Side," they only know how to portray Oher as either a simple, uneducated youth who didn't know much about the world or as a gang-banger who saw the error of his ways and turned his life around through sports. There is no in-between in the mind of scriptwriters.

I've read all three books. They're terrific, taut thrillers, starring a brilliant, odd and anti-social private investigator and computer hacker, Lisbeth Salander. There are several graphic and sexually disturbing scenes in the book (who knows how they'll look in the movie), and I warned Chris Mara the other day he might want to prepare himself for a few stunners with his little girl. I told him this isn't We Are Marshall.

I am sure the movie will be cleaned up, slapped with a PG-13 rating to make it appeal to the largest audience possible and then dumbed down some. I wouldn't worry too much about it if I were the Mara family. The movie studio is looking to make money off the movies, not make a movie that is true to the book or will turn off any paying moviegoer.

Mr. Starwood Preferred Travel Note of the Week

Downtown Baltimore, Wednesday, 3:40 p.m.

I was rolling my L.L. Bean suitcase to the front door of the downtown Residence Inn

He was also wearing a name tag that said, I am a douche who advertises he has an L.L. Bean suitcase...not that it is even that nice of a suitcase.

when a disheveled man -- maybe 40, salt-and-pepper beard, filthy jeans, T-shirt -- approached.

"Sir, I'm sorry,'' he said. "Looking for some money to help me get into the shelter tonight. It's three bucks. Can you help me at all? Can you give me a dollar? Anything?''

(Phil Collins hit "Another Day in Paradise" plays in the background)

I took money out of my pocket. I gave him $5. He looked incredulous.

The next morning at 5:45, the same man, apparently a tireless yet forgetful panhandler, approached me and said he needed a dollar to take the light rail somewhere. It took me a second to realize it was the same guy, and I said, "Oh, come on.'' He scurried away.

The homeless and the less fortunate are always trying to take advantage of the general public like that! Assholes.

I just hope the homeless man didn't get a "homeless smell" on Peter's L.L. Bean suitcase. That would be a real tragedy.

By the way, this is a great package about the short life span of running backs. Joe Posnanski's story on Tony Richardson of the Jets is stirring, and Layden's piece on Chris Johnson is very good too.

I want to publicly bitch about this, but the writer of the running backs piece in this week's Sports Illustrated called DeAngelo Williams "a change of pace back," which shows me he has never seen Williams play. He gets good yards after contact and just because he is smaller doesn't mean he is a change of pace back. Come on.

b. More and more, Kroy Biermann, who beat the left side of the New England line for a sack Thursday, looks like the bookend pass-rusher to John Abraham the Falcons have needed.

But he's not "killer" yet.

c. Wes Welker's amazing. I could write that every week.

You do write that every week.

o. Sometimes, with his little flips out of the backfield, Aaron Rodgers reminds me -- in anticipation and confidence -- of Brett Favre.

He has a lot to live up to be Favre though. He has to retire/unretire a few times, tell everyone publicly about his injuries, and have little regard for anyone but himself. One day, maybe, he will be Favre.

q. Kamerion Wimbley's four sacks in the first half at Chicago on Saturday night mean one of two things: The Bears are in huge trouble on the offensive line, or the Raiders got a steal when they dealt a third-round pick to Cleveland for Wimbley. Or maybe both.

I'm telling you, 8-8 for the Raiders this year. They have some good linebackers on defense.

6. I think anyone who laughs at Antonio Cromartie struggling to remember the names and ages of his eight children (by six women, allegedly) on Hard Knocks on HBO the other night ought to be ashamed. There's a crisis in this country of men who don't take care of their kids. And the flippant way Cromartie appeared to forget a child or two is tremendously sad, not a comedic moment.

Right, because it is our fault he had all those kids and can't remember their names immediately. The public who laughed at this are the ones who should be chastised, not the athlete who has these children with six women. It's funny he can't remember all their names because there is a crisis in this country. It's funny in a bad way, but why would Peter chastise those who laugh? It's not like the public is encouraging him to have more children whose names and ages he may not immediately remember.

Besides, even the fathers who do know a lot about their kids and love them aren't going to get credit for doing what they are supposed to do anyway.

9. I think the one thing the change of the umpire from behind the defensive line to 14 yards (14 yards!) behind the line of scrimmage will do that's getting lost in the shuffle is this: If an offense goes to the no-huddle, the umpire is going to be a major impediment to the hurry-up offense. It hasn't been a problem in the preseason because most teams aren't going to show many offensive wrinkles in August. But when the season starts, one member of the Competition Committee tells me he's worried the ump won't be able to place the ball down, spot it, and then run back to his spot without delaying the game. Watch for that in Week 1 or 2.

This is the type of stuff I like that Peter writes. It's insightful, not obvious, and is new to me. Unfortunately, we don't get a lot of these "nuggets."

a. Now that my intern/driver Willie Cornblatt is back at Indiana after helping me on the last week of my camp tour, I do believe I may have led him slightly astray. The poor kid wants to be me. "In one week, I learned more from you than I learned in 19 years from my father,'' he said. Of course you did, kid.

Was his father Antonio Cromartie?

f. Coffeenerdness: After 22 days on the road, I can say this about the Starbucksization of America: I applaud the increase of Starbucks drive-thrus, particularly in city areas where it's hard to park the car. Thank you, thank you, Seattle.

Because nothing says America like Starbucks making coffee drinkers have to do less work to get a product in their system, caffeine, that gives them energy.