Joe Morgan Is Confident In Answering Questions About Any Sport Other Than Baseball

Last week, chat-master extraordinaire Joe Morgan repeated his mantra that there are no great teams anymore and that if he were starting a team right now he would start the team with the hardest position to find a superstar at, shortstop, and choose Starlin Castro as his first pick. In other words, Joe would quickly turn whatever team he was running into the Pittsburgh Pirates.

Joe talks a little bit about confidence this week and chats for an entire 27 minutes, while taking a two minute break between questions.

Buzzmaster: We've got Joe!

(Does a line of cocaine off a hooker's ass)

Two minutes later...................Joe appears, ready to chat, but doesn't answer a question until 11:05am. If nothing else, Joe Morgan is consistent in showing he doesn't care to chat every Tuesday at 11:00am. He may as well just come out and say it at this point.

JM: It's interesting that recently we've had two pitchers taken out of the game with a no-hitter.

Consistently interesting. Super interesting. If Dusty Baker had his way, once a pitcher pitched a complete game no-hitter, he would go out and start the next day because he is pitching well and it is better to strike while the iron is hot.

It used to be that it wasn't a big deal when that happened. But now, it is. With pitchers on pitch counts and trying to protect their arms, they're trying to protect the pitcher.

So in "the good old days" pitchers were taken out of the game for more arbitrary reasons than to make sure the player doesn't get injured in the long-term...and this made more sense than taking a pitcher out because he is on a pitch count?

Before, it wasn't a pitch limit that took a pitcher out, it was more how they were pitching

I would say anytime a pitcher is throwing a no-hitter he is pitching pretty fucking good.

What is the big difference in taking a pitcher out because of a pitch count and taking a pitcher out because his pitches are losing their effectiveness? Either way, the pitcher shouldn't be in the game anymore.

and how they looked physically.

(Manager talking to the pitching coach) "Reynolds looks pretty physically ill out there. He seems to be struggling a little bit and his velocity is down to 87 mph on his fastball. Maybe I should go pull him."

(Joe Morgan as a pitching coach) "No, leave him in. He is throwing his changeup really good today. That's the secret to him pitching well. He is throwing his changeup incredibly well. He doesn't look physically ill right now to me. Let's wait until he vomits, then take him out."

(Manager) "I'm pulling him. He's at 115 pitches."

(Joe Morgan) "You are pulling him because of a pitch count? What a pussy! I'm embarrassed to have this uniform on my back (rips uniform off)."

(Manager) "Whether it is the pitch count or the fact his velocity is down, what's the difference?"

(Joe Morgan) "You shouldn't pull a pitcher because of his pitch count, that's not how they did it in my day. If a pitcher got pulled, it was because he was losing his effectiveness (begins to tear up and wipes the tears away angrily)."

(Manager) "Fine, I'm taking him out because he's losing his effectiveness. Pitch count, how he looks physically, what's the difference? Either way, I don't want him in the game. He's not effective anymore and I don't want him to continue pitching."

(Joe Morgan wiping the tears away) "So it's not because of the pitch count? It is because he doesn't look good physically? You aren't basing this decision on a pitch count, but because he has thrown too many pitches and isn't effective anymore. Fine then, carry on."

Joe, ((Ihatu))

That's just mean. We don't hate anyone, we just publicly mock them through juvenile skits, call for them to be fired and reinforce repeatedly how stupid they are.

Joe, who's your pick to win the NL Central? BP says that the Reds have a 63% chance to the Cards 37%. What's your take?

Obviously this is a JoeBait question. Joe probably wonders why British Petroleum is spending so much time on baseball predictions and less time cleaning up the spill in the gulf.

JM: It's still too early to tell.

It is not too early to tell. Those are the actual numbers Baseball Prospectus came up with to help determine which team would win the NL Central.

The Cardinals have better pitchers at the top of their rotation, but the Reds have more depth. They both have good offenses. The Reds have been more consistent, but the Cardinals have Albert Pujols.

Will Pujols be hitting in spots 1-9 in the batting order every night?

The Reds have Joey Votto, but he hasn't reached the status of Pujols yet.

Since it is 2010 and games are being played for this year and awards are based on how a player is playing THIS YEAR, this statement doesn't have much relevance. Pujols doesn't get extra credit for being a better baseball player over the past couple of years compared to Votto. Past historical data will not be taken into account on which team will win the NL Central this year. So this statement is completely irrelevant.

Besides, Votto is playing at the same level as Pujols this year:

Votto: .325/.421/.600, 32 home runs, 94 RBI, and 169 OPS+

Pujols: .319/.411/.597, 35 home runs, 95 RBI, and 169 OPS+

If you have to pick someone, I think you have to pick the Reds because they're in first place at the moment.

Which is exactly the conclusion Baseball Prospectus came to as well.

Why does Joe always say things like, "if you have to pick someone," like it is a chore or something? What's the harm in choosing a team to win the division? Why would ESPN even hire experts if they didn't think these people could tell the readers/viewers something the fans don't already know? The fans already don't know who will win the division, perhaps an expert of some kind could pick a team and explain why that team will win. It is supposed to be entertaining to do this.

I feel the same way about the NL East. I thought the Phillies when they got healthy would take over, but the Braves are still in first place.

Joe Morgan absolutely refuses to project into the future.

(Joe Morgan on a job interview) "Good to meet you sir. I really want to work here. It's a fine place to work I hear."

(Interviewer) "Where do you see yourself in five years, Joe?"

(Joe Morgan) "How the fuck would I know the answer to this question? It's too early to tell where I will be in five years. Maybe I will be here, if you hire me, maybe I won't even if you hire me. Another opportunity could come up. I just want to be consistent in what I do and come in to work everyday. If you made me choose where I would be in five years, I will say at this company working for you. Really, it's too early to tell."

(Interviewer) "Thanks Joe, I will call you when we have a decision."

(Joe Morgan) "Call me on my home number, I don't have a cell phone."

(Interviewer) "That's not shocking."

Ryan (Reynoldsburg,Ohio)

How hard is it for a player to walk away an reitre in any sport in general?

I think this is a Ryan Reynolds reference in this question. I'm confused.

JM: You have to decide whether you can give that up. That's difficult to do. I think Brett Favre has taken it to the extreme.

Tavaris Jackson and Sage Rosenfels did all of the off season work to help the team thinking they were going to play and now that's not going to happen. I don't see him playing all 16 games this year. I think this has hurt the morale of the Vikings.

The funny part about this answer is that if the person asking the question had asked Joe,

"Roger Clemens is coming back and will immediately get a spot in the Yankees rotation. How does this affect the morale of the team, especially the pitcher who gets replaced by Clemens knowing he has worked hard all offseason and then gets replaced by a guy who only wants to play part of the season? Don't you find this to hurt the morale of the Yankees clubhouse?"

Joe would answer,

"I don't know, I'm not in the Yankees clubhouse. I can't seem to think players would like the situation, unless Clemens pitches well, but I'm not close enough to the team to answer this question."

When it comes to the NFL, Joe feels free to give his opinion on locker room dynamics, but won't give an opinion when it comes to the sport he gets paid to be an expert on.

Also, Joe is aware Favre has started 285 consecutive games right? How can he see Favre not playing in all 16 games this year? I don't know much about this season, but the odds of Favre playing all 16 games is pretty high based on his past record of starting every NFL game. You know unless that ankle injury that has Favre's body saying one thing and his mind saying another acts up and the Vikings don't surround him with enough talent.

But we'll see. He's been able to do things at his age that we haven't seen before.

And naturally Joe hedges on his opinion and throws a disclaimer in there so he doesn't end up being wrong.

J.B. (Dunmore, PA)

Do you think the Braves can hold off the Phillies or is that potent lineup and improved pitching staff going to overtake Atlanta? I think even if they do, Bobby Cox gets one final chance in the post-season to win a 2nd ring.

I want someone to ask a great question of Joe about the Braves, like maybe ask, "why the hell did the Braves trade three prospects, including one prospect with a good future, for a 35 year old free-agent-to-be first baseman with a bad back?"

JM: I felt that the Phillies would overtake them. But the Braves are holding on.

Great analysis here. Anyone who can't do an Internet search on "MLB Standings" has just learned something.

If you're in first place, then you have the chance to hold on, even though I think the Phillies have the best overall team.

"If you are in first place, you have a chance to hold on."

Truer and more obvious words have never been spoken before. I know Joe is just typing stuff and may at some point look back at his comments and feel stupid, but he says things like this every week. At this point, it goes from an absent-minded comment to a trend.

Tito (Brooklyn)

Joba's been pitching better lately. Do you think his confidence is back?

JM: Confidence is like the question, which comes first, the chicken or the egg?

No, it's not.

Success breeds confidence, but if you're confident, you will be successful.

So you can't be confident if you aren't successful and you can't be successful if you aren't confident? Maybe it IS like the chicken and the egg...or Joe is making shit up by comparing it to the chicken the egg.

He may be confident right now after some good outings, but as soon as you have some poor outings, you will be where you were before.

But if Joba is confident he won't have any poor outings because success breeds confidence. So if a pitchers just stays confident based on their good performance while getting to the major leagues, that pitcher will always be successful? I love talking in absolutes.

So basically what Joe is saying is that confidence doesn't really affect performance, since Joba is confident right now and he can still have a bad outing.

James (Toronto) [via mobile]

Good morning Joe! You're thoughts on Jose Bautista? He just keeps on hitting home runs and has shown some real leadership too.

My thoughts on Bautista is that I thought MLB was drug testing players? Or is Bautista's year an outlier like Brady Anderson's 50 home run season was an outlier?

JM: He finally found his nitch.

He finally found his common misspelling of the word "niche?"

So Bautista's niche is to be one of the best hitters in baseball? It's a shame he didn't find this niche before he was 29 years old.

Like Joba, he's finally found confidence because he's had some success.

So Joe thinks Bautista's 2008 year where he batted .238/.313/.405 with 15 home runs and 54 RBI's (none of which are career highs) gave him the confidence to be on pace to nearly triple his previous home run output? Some people must get confidence from smaller successes than others.

But now his confidence level is so high.

If by "confidence level" Joe means, "elevated testosterone level" then I agree.

He might be the first one to get to the 50-home run mark since the steroid era.

Let's think about this for a second. Jose Bautista, who has a previous career high of 16 home runs in 400 at-bats, is on pace to be the first 50-home run hitter since the Steroid Era (yep, I am capitalizing it)? If baseball players still took steroids, this would raise some red flags to me. A little known hitter is hitting a large amount of home runs, he has no history of being this good of a home run hitter in the majors, and he attributes it to an altered swing mechanics. I think we are all smart to have some questions about Bautista's performance this year.

Jeff (Indianapolis)

With Pujols leading the NL in HR and RBI and Votto leading in BA, which is more likely for a triple crown, Pujols catching Votto in BA or Votto catching Pujols in HR and RBI?

So continues Joe Morgan's hard-on for Albert Pujols winning every hitting award every year in the future because of what he has done in the past.

JM: I think Pujols has the better chance of winning the Triple Crown.

Joe didn't really answer the question at all.

Votto has never lead the lead in any of those categories. Pujols might win the Triple Crown.

Holy crap, it doesn't matter if Joey Votto has never led (not "lead") the league in any of the categories for the Triple Crown. It only matters what Votto is doing this year. The fact Pujols has led the league in a couple of the categories doesn't give him an advantage this year. Past performance does not give Pujols extra credit in this year's Triple Crown race.

Tito (Brooklyn)

Do you think the Boston Red Sox will make the playoffs if Johnny Damon returns to that team?

JM: He can help them because they have too many injuries in their outfield. He's a veteran and he has some leadership abilities. He definitely will help them. Whether that will be enough to lead them into the playoffs, I can't answer that.

Great, that was the question Joe was asked and chose to answer, so I am glad Joe can't answer it. Thanks for rambling a little bit and then saying you can't answer the question, Joe. If Tito had asked, "Will Johnny Damon help the Red Sox and comment very briefly on his leadership abilities," Joe would have nailed the question.

But he will no doubt help them. His presence helps improve that team. But if he went to the Rays or the Yankees that would happen too. He would help any team in the race. He's been there before and he has had some success in the postseason.

So Johnny Damon may or may not help the Red Sox make the playoffs, but he is a good baseball player who can help improve a team make the playoffs...Joe doesn't know how much Damon would have helped the Red Sox make the playoffs, but he does know Damon will help a team in the playoff race.

Tito (Brooklyn)

Which of these 4 outfielders should be benched: Manny, Kemp, Ethier, or Podsednik?

Tito is always JoeBaiting.

JM: That's a difficult question, because right now, Manny hasn't proven that he's back at 100%. Podsednik has done pretty well for them.

Podsednik has hit .294/.349/.336 and a 89 OPS+ and WAR of 0.2 with the Dodgers.

If Manny Ramirez is even close to being the player he was before he got hurt, which is struggling for Manny, he would still be a better option offensively than Podsednik...assuming he wasn't claimed on waivers by the White Sox and all of that.

Manny is a great hitter, has been a great hitter, but it still matters if he still has that ability.

Oh sure, when judging Manny Ramirez, Joe Morgan bases his opinion on what Manny is doing this year and doesn't factor how good of a hitter Manny used to be.

Tito (Brooklyn)

What do you think is more important from the leadoff hitter in a batting lineup: speed or OBP?

Joe has no chance of answering this question. This is like asking a four year old to dunk an 8-foot basketball goal.

JM: A perfect leadoff hitter does both. You want guys to get on base.

OBVIOUSLY YOU WANT BOTH! BUT IF SOMEONE HAD A GUN TO YOUR HEAD AND MADE YOU CHOOSE ONE, WHICH ONE WOULD IT BE?

Now if a guy gets on base and has speed, he can help the team score runs by himself. If he doesn't have speed, then you can still get on base and help the team score runs within the team concept.

A team does want a lead off guy with speed and who gets on base. What if you had to choose between a fast guy and a guy who got on base a lot but didn't have much speed? It's a simple question requiring a simple answer.

The perfect blend is getting on base with speed and Rickey Henderson comes to mind with that. But as we both know Rickey and Boggs are both in the hall of fame.

Joe's answer to whether he wants a guy in the lead off spot who gets on base or a guy in the lead off spot with speed is that he wants the best lead off hitter ever or another Hall of Fame player leading off for him.

Naturally, every team wants a Hall of Fame player or a guy with the perfect blend of getting on base and speed, but if you had to choos---I give up. Next question.

Jose (The Bronx)

It seems like the Yankees are a really different team this year than they were last year. They just don't score as much runs as they used to. But they are still in first place. Why do you think they're doing so well so far this season?

JM: Last year they were head and shoulders above the other team. This year, they're one of the best teams in baseball.

Last year the Yankees were head and shoulders above the other team. I wonder what other team Joe is talking about? He does work for ESPN, so Joe may only be aware of two teams that play MLB, the Yankees and Red Sox. So, I have to factor that in.

This year the Yankees are only tied for the best record in baseball, whereas last year they had the best record in baseball by six games. So the Yankees are struggling (which they aren't struggling) to score runs because this year they are still the best team in baseball, but there are other teams playing as well. So naturally, the Yankees have gotten worse and the other team(s) did not get better from last year to this year, because that's impossible according to Joe...since there are no dominant teams anymore, great teams only get worse from year-to-year and the competition never gets tougher.

The offense is not clicking as much as last year.

The Yankees have the most runs scored in all of MLB. Imagine if the offense was clicking what they could do. The Yankees offense is clicking better than any other offense in baseball and by a fairly margin of 50 runs more than the team with the second most.

It just proves the point that no matter what amount they paid for CC Sabathia, it was cheap. Last year he led them to the championship and this year he's the reason that they're tied for first place now.

The best offense in terms of runs scored, RBIs, and OBP that is also 3rd in home runs, 3rd in total bases, and 3rd in SLG % has nothing to do with the Yankees record I am sure. It's all C.C. Sabathia that has brought the Yankees to where they are now...if you don't include arguably the best offense in baseball in that equation.

I think it's a very difficult decision for Johnny Damon to go back to Boston. He wasn't happy when he left there. He didn't want to leave and he couldn't get the contract he wanted.

Poor Johnny Damon! If he didn't want to leave Boston so bad then why did he leave as a free agent? He got more money with the Yankees, that's why. If Damon didn't want to leave Boston he didn't have, but he chose to take the higher contract offer.

Detroit is not going to make the playoffs. He has a chance for one last horrah in Boston.

I'm pretty sure "horrah" isn't a word.

Somebody buy Joe spell-check STAT!

But we are human beings and sometimes when our pride is hurt, it's tough for us to put that aside and go back.

I'm fairly sure that Johnny Damon doesn't have his pride wounded still from the Red Sox not offering him as much money as the Yankees offered him. Again, he could have stayed in Boston if he had wanted to.

Buzzmaster: Thanks for chatting Joe!

(Begins to bang his head against the wall until he can't remember anything about Joe's chat today)