Gregg Easterbrook Found His Way Back to a Keyboard

Gregg Easterbrook is back again this week after taking a week off to go watch his son play his last college football game. I imagine Gregg annoyed his fellow spectators with his inaccurate descriptions of what was going on during the game. Gregg hasn't changed over the last two weeks, don't worry about that. He still has decent insights surrounded by unexplainable episodes of idiocy. Gregg is taking all of his anger out on Daniel Snyder this week.

One of the amusements of the nation's capital area, where TMQ lives, is Chainsaw Dan Snyder's 12-year effort to demolish the Washington Redskins. Every year you think it's finally happened -- Snyder has made every possible boneheaded blunder, and the Redskins at last can recover from his misrule.

Because Mike Shanahan had absolutely nothing to do with pulling Donovan McNabb at the end of a game two weeks ago and I am sure Shanahan wasn't consulted when it came time to give McNabb the outrageous extension he received. I mock Daniel Snyder on this site from time to time, but I imagine Mike Shanahan had a hand in one of these decisions.

(It is not an outrageous extension because McNabb isn't a good quarterback but I don't get how he goes from being pulled in the two minute drill to receiving a huge extension. I don't understand Mike Shanahan at all. Never have and probably never will.)

At 5 p.m. ET yesterday, hours before the start of a "Monday Night Football" home game that was crucial to the Skins' season, Snyder granted a five-year contract extension worth $70 million plus incentives (although the actual length and earning potential is tied to a bonus this offseason, according to ESPN's Adam Schefter) to struggling quarterback Donovan McNabb. Pro sports players love to hear of their teammates getting big paydays. But even Redskins players reacted with: Huh? What?

Pro sports players like to hear of their teammates getting big paydays because they means they may get the same payday. Also, I searched for the Redskins players reaction to the contract extension and couldn't find much of anything. Maybe Gregg Easterbrook has inside knowledge and knows how the players reacted, but otherwise there isn't much proof they were dumbfounded.

Snyder did nothing to extend McNabb's contract last spring, after trading for him -- extending the deal then would have made sense.

Not necessarily. Perhaps the Redskins wanted to see how McNabb and Shanahan got along before they extended him. I guess they were impressed with how the season has gone and decided to extend his contract.

Instead, this happened hours before kickoff of a nationally televised game. McNabb plays poorly, gets benched -- then is handed a lucrative extension. Huh? What?

It doesn't take someone who had been paying any type of attention to know McNabb's agent and the Redskins had been talking about this extension for a few weeks now. It had been discussed prior and they reached an agreement before a Monday Night Game.

The situation was so messed up that even though the Redskins' cheerleaders danced throughout the first half in two-piece summer outfits -- despite a cool night and light rain -- 36 gorgeous scantily attired women dancing in the rain could not improve the home team's fortunes.

But I thought the less clothing the cheerleaders wore during the game meant the team they were cheering for did better? This is an agreed upon known TMQ fact.

Chainsaw Dan projects a negative energy field, and maybe it impedes their judgment. Snyder has employed seven head coaches in his 12 years of owning the Redskins. In the previous 12 years of the franchise, the team had two head coaches, and a lot more success on the field.

What neglects to mention (as usual) is that one of the two (actually three) coaches the Redskins had before Dan Snyder bought the franchise also coached the team from 1999-2000 after Snyder took over the team. That would be Norv Turner. He also neglects to mention Snyder bought the team in 1999 and the Redskins actually had three head coaches from 1988-1999 (Joe Gibbs, Richie Petitbon, and Norv Turner). Of course counting is very, very, very hard so I forgive Gregg and don't think he is lazy in his research at all.

Mike Shanahan seemed to know what he was doing as the head coach of the Denver Broncos. Since arriving in Washington and entering Chainsaw Dan's negative energy field, Shanahan's performance has plummeted.

The Redskins are currently 4-5 and Shanahan has been right at .500 or just above/below .500 over 5 of the last 8 years he has coached. So his performance has declined somewhat, though I am not sure it is just because of Dan Snyder's presence.

Not only has the new head coach mishandled McNabb; Shanahan arrived to find a very solid 4-3, conservative-scheme Washington defense that finished 10th in 2009 and fourth the year before that. Shanahan promptly threw out everything that was working and installed a blitz-wacky 3-4.

It's common knowledge, at least to everyone except Gregg Easterbrook, that a head coach likes to bring in his own defensive/offensive scheme when joining a team. Shanahan favors the 3-4 defense so when he got hired it was known the Redskins would switch to a 3-4.

By the early third quarter, the overpaid and lethargic Albert Haynesworth, another Snyder blunder, was simply lying on the field watching Michael Vick run, making no attempt to pursue him.

Right, because if Haynesworth tries really, really hard he will easily be able to run-down Mike Vick or catch Vick once he has started running. Pursuing the ball carrier down the field isn't exactly the specialty of a defensive tackle.

(On second thought, after watching the video maybe Haynesworth was a bit lazy but I am still not sure he catches Vick)

How long till the Redskins are trying to get rid of McNabb? Probably not long. Nobody cares about Snyder throwing his money out the window. But having to watch him destroy a storied NFL franchise -- that's another matter.

Has Gregg Easterbrook been reading John Tamny articles lately? I bet Gregg wants to take away the Redskins from Daniel Snyder's ownership.

Even in his best days at Atlanta, Vick either looked right or looked left but never both; his reads were "Check the primary receiver and if the primary is covered, take off running."

Never. Mike Vick never looked both right and left for a receiver in Atlanta. I dare anyone to find game tape that shows him doing this. You can't find it because it doesn't exist.

Gregg Easterbrook loves blanket statements.

Stats of the Week No. 4: Matt Ryan is 18-1 as a starter at home.

Peter King had this exact same statistics in his MMQB. Sounds to me like Gregg Easterbrook is doing a little thieving of Peter's statistic or this is just a coincidence. I don't necessarily believe it is a coincidence both Peter and Gregg brought up this statistic within one day of each other when neither writer had ever mentioned it before.

J.T. of Phoenix writes, "Recently I was at a Phoenix Coyotes game and sat three rows behind Sen. John McCain. Not only did he not have a bodyguard, people were taking pictures with him and shaking his hand. If a sitting senator who ran for president just two years ago doesn't need a security detail, why do city council members, midlevel state officials and other minor political hacks receive taxpayer-funded bodyguards?"

I read these "bodyguard/taxpayer waste" notes in TMQ every week. Gregg's readers usually chime in saying they saw famous person X and "he didn't have a bodyguard around him." Have they ever thought that perhaps they just couldn't see the bodyguard or security around that person? Maybe McCain's security or bodyguard simply looked like a fan that was sitting around him?

Kansas City came into the game with the league's No. 1 rushing offense, Denver with the 31st-ranked rushing defense. So pound the ball four times for a touchdown. When you're down by a big margin in the first half, it's not an emergency -- run your regular offense, get a touchdown and then see what the world looks like in the second half.

Instead Chiefs coaches called a pass; Matt Cassel ran backward all the way to the 19, where he was hit and fumbled; Denver's Jason Hunter took the fumble the length of the field for a touchdown and a 35-0 Denver lead that effectively ended the contest.

Gregg always second guesses and tells NFL coaches what to do, but has he thought that perhaps the Chiefs were going to run the ball in the end zone? The Chiefs fumbled on first down, so they were perhaps assuming the Broncos would be selling out on the run and wanted to get the ball to their tight end or another offensive player. It did not work, there's no doubt about that, but football is a chess game and the Broncos may know the Chiefs want to run the ball and are playing the Chiefs to do so. The Chiefs may have known this is what the Broncos would do and wanted to throw the ball on first down. Simply because the Chiefs can run the ball well doesn't mean they have to run the ball on first down.

Undrafted free agents BenJarvus Green-Ellis, Wes Welker and Danny Woodhead gained 209 of the Flying Elvii's offensive yards. Undrafted free agents at New England and Indianapolis perform better than first-round draft choices at many teams.

First round draft picks for the Patriots and Colts also perform better than many of the undrafted free agents for other teams. The number of high performing high draft picks greatly exceeds the number of high performing undrafted free agents. You would never know this the way Gregg Easterbrook talks.

Then, New England leading 29-18 with four minutes remaining and facing third-and-5, Pittsburgh blitzed seven men, and I don't even need to tell you who won the game.

The Patriots because they were winning 11 points with four minutes left in the game and had the ball? That's why you don't have to tell me who won the game?

This approach worked when he was head coach of the Broncos and Bills, teams that in his tenure had numerous mature veteran leaders -- John Elway, Karl Mecklenberg, Steve Atwater and Shannon Sharpe in Denver; Thurman Thomas, Ruben Brown, Bruce Smith and Henry Jones in Buffalo. Name the "mature veteran leader" on the current Boys roster.

Tony Romo, Jason Witten, Keith Brooking, Jon Kitna, and Terence Newman.

The Cowboys of late are a collection of overpaid, spoiled pretty boys more interested in their own publicity and party invitations than in leaving everything on the field, as NFL leaders do.

And the Cowboys weren't the same team of overpaid, spoiled pretty boys last year when they won a playoff game? Gregg just says this because the Cowboys are losing.

Dallas looked well-coached, Jersey/A looked confused, with Coughlin and defensive coordinator Perry Fewell yelling at each other on the sideline -- a total role reversal from the Giants-at-Cowboys game of October.

Here is what I bet Fewell and Coughlin were yelling about:

(Coughlin) "Dammit you ignorant piece of weasel shit! Make your defense stop someone!"

(Fewell) "I am trying, but it clearly isn't working. You have any ideas?"

(Coughlin) "No, soldier, I don't have any ideas. What the fuck is wrong with the defense dickweed?"

(Fewell) "I would prefer to run the 3-4 defense."

(Coughlin) "Oh, that's just a fad you ass-grabbing donkey! Don't you read TMQ every week? Right now there are a group of coaches about to figure out the 3-4 defense and then it will lie unused for 10 years when it will come back in fashion after every defensive coordinator in the NFL has forgotten how to stop it."

(Fewell) "You really believe defensive coordinators forget how to stop the 3-4 defense after a few years?

(Coughlin) "Listen to me, you good for nothing piss-poor excuse for a human...if Gregg Easterbrook says this is what happens, this is what happens."

(Fewell intentionally calls a bad defensive play to get Tom Coughlin fired)

Trailing 33-20 at the end of the third quarter, Tom Coughlin ordered a punt on fourth-and-1 in Dallas territory. On the next possession, Jersey/A went for it on fourth-and-1 in Dallas territory and the play was stuffed. Consecutive possessions on which a power-rushing team couldn't or wouldn't gain a single yard at home!

So to recap...Gregg criticizes the Giants for not running the ball on a fourth-and-one and then he criticizes the Giants FOR running the ball on fourth-and-one...and it not working. The only solution that will make Gregg happy is to run a play that works. Otherwise, the decision that was made happened to be a poor one. Of course the only way to know it was a poor decision is to know the result and then second guess the call.

Was the final score poor sportsmanship? Normally the gauge of sportsmanship in football is whether a team with a big lead stops passing in the second half. Wisconsin runs the ball so well that to hold down the score, the Badgers should switch to passing. Wisconsin starters left the game early, and Wisconsin tactics in the second half were bland. The missing sportsmanship touch was that, leading 62-13 at the start of the final stanza, Wisconsin kicked extra points on its three fourth-quarter touchdowns. The Badgers should have knelt on the PATs.

So this is the unsportsmanlike conduct? The Badgers added three points to the final score of the game. So instead of having 83 points, the Badgers should have knelt it down so they score 80 points. That three point differential shows so much sportsmanship.

Dolphins note: In two games against Miami for two different teams, Randy Moss caught a total of one pass off Vontae Davis, who is this year's Darrelle Revis.

What the hell does this even mean? Isn't Darrelle Revis this year's Darrelle Revis?

San Francisco looked finished with Les Mouflons leading 17-13 with 2:30 remaining and the Forty-Niners facing third-and-32 in their territory. Troy Smith threw to Frank Gore in the left flat for 14 yards, then on fourth-and-18 threw the same play again in the left flat to Gore for 23 yards, then threw to Michael Crabtree for the touchdown. Converting a third-and-32 was sweet for the Squared Sevens, allowing the conversion on the same play on consecutive snaps was sour for the Rams.

What about the Crabtree Curse! Isn't the entire 49ers team cursed because of Michael Crabtree? I guess Gregg only brings up the Crabtree Curse when the 49ers lose a game for fear that some may see through the bullshit he flings at us on a weekly basis.

But TMQ is struck by the Oakland depth chart. Players other teams didn't want (Cooper Carlisle, Langston Walker) or unloaded cheaply to be rid of (Jason Campbell, Kamerion Wimbley, Quentin Groves). Undrafted players (Tommy Kelly) and small-school players (Jared Veldheer -- quick, in what state is 1,400-student Hillsdale College located?).

The only players on the depth chart who arrived with blue-chip status are Darren McFadden (no relation to Walter), Richard Seymour, Michael Huff, Darrius Heyward-Bey, Rolando McClain and Robert Gallery (who five years after being proclaimed a draft mega-bust at left tackle is performing well at guard). And even then, only aficionados know Huff and McClain. This is a team after TMQ's heart -- castoffs and who-dats.

This is idiocy of the first degree. Langston Walker underperformed in Buffalo and was a 2nd round pick. Jason Campbell and Kamerion Wimbley were both 1st round draft picks and Quentin Groves was a 2nd round pick bust for the Jacksonville Jaguars. In fact, Gregg has brought up Groves quite a few times when talking about how the Jaguars have drafted players on their offensive and defensive lines in the past couple of drafts and still have problems there. So Gregg is criticizing the Jaguars for drafting Groves and also criticizing them for letting him go to the Raiders because he wasn't performing in Jacksonville.

Tommy Kelly is probably the biggest joke as a typical undrafted free agent. He is currently playing under a 7 year $50.5 contract and he hasn't ever outperformed this contract. So he is an undrafted free agent, but he hasn't shown he is worth the money that has been paid out to him.

Favre may be effective for his age. But strictly based on performance, he belongs on the bench.

Seriously Gregg, you don't want to fuck with Brett Favre. ESPN will fire you for saying something negative about him. If you in any way jeopardize their ability to hire him as a commentator after he retires you will be out on the street.

While other teams get disappointing performances from first-round-drafted megabucks players, the Colts continue to roll out undrafted free agents who do well.

Somewhere Anthony Gonzalez, Donald Brown, and Tony Ugoh are wondering why the Colts don't always roll out first round picks that do well.

TMQ told you last April that James and Linkenbach would be successful in the NFL. What incredible insider information did I posses? None! I simply knew they were undrafted free agents who signed with Indianapolis.

That's crazy! You are a genius for taking an assumption and then seeing that assumption come true for one week in the NFL.

BCS note: Can sportscasters and sportswriters please stop referring to the USA Today and Harris polls as the "human" polls? No other species gets a vote -- the BCS is obviously worried the Klingons would like TCU more than Auburn.

What the hell should they be called then? What name would work well that is short and easy to say? There has to be a way to differentiate between the computer and human polls. Yes, it sounds stupid, but there isn't a much shorter way to talk about the USA Today and Harris polls without saying "USA Today and Harris polls."

Stop Me Before I Blitz Again!: City of Tampa leading Carolina 24-16 with 4:40 remaining, the Bucs faced third-and-15 in their own territory. Play straight defense here and a stop is statistically likely ... It's a mega-blitz! Tampa converts and scores the game-icing touchdown on the possession.

No it wasn't a mega-blitz. It was a blitz, but the Buccaneers ran the ball and completely tricked the Panthers. Jon Beason explains:

"Third-and-11, up a score, we're thinking possibly pass, they run it, and we didn't have guys with vision on the ball," Beason said. "They broke tendency a little bit. You're anticipating pass. Because they'd been moving the ball well throughout the game. In a one-possession game, you definitely want to stay on the field and ice it out. That was a gutsy call by them."

It was just a great call by the Buccaneers. It was simply a matter of the Panthers defenders not expecting the call. The Panthers do not run mega-blitzes very often. I know this for a fact.

Bill Baker of Orlando, Fla., noted on Nov. 11, "The top story on ESPN.com this morning was a mock NFL draft, and a mock men's NCAA basketball bracket was prominent. Todd McShay predicted the NFL draft six months before it will occur, and long before we know who will declare. Joe Lunardi predicted the March Madness brackets when most of the eligible teams had yet to play a game!"

Why would anyone be interested in a mock NCAA Tournament bracket as the season is starting? That's madness! No one would be interested in seeing what an expert predicts the NCAA Tournament brackets will look like. That's why there are never preseason predictions in any major sports like the NFL. No one ever tries to predict what teams will make the playoffs before the season begins because the entire premise of doing so is just so ridiculous.

Daniel Radcliffe and Emma Watson, who've been playing Harry and Hermione since 2001, when they were age 11, have a make-out scene in the new flick. Let's hope Radcliffe stood on a step stool, since Watson now towers over him. Radcliffe, surely hoping to generate buzz for the scene, just said Watson "kisses like an animal." Um -- he's kissed animals?

Well he did do the play Equus. He has come closer than many, many, many people ever will to kissing an animal.

Trailing Baltimore 21-20, Atlanta took possession at its 20 with 1:05 remaining, holding one timeout. The Falcons went down the field as if the Ravens weren't there, scoring a touchdown to win in eight plays and just 45 seconds. Nothing flashy -- a series of well-thrown short passes, capped by a Baltimore six-man blitz when Atlanta was on the Nevermores' 33 with 27 seconds showing, the blitz leaving super-effective Roddy White single-covered by backup corner Josh Wilson. Since the super-effective White already had 11 receptions when that play started, and already had been thrown to 16 times, why was he single-covered by a reserve?

Roddy White admits he interfered with Wilson on this play and that is the reason he caught the pass. So it seems like Wilson had pretty good coverage.

"This year's vicious-hits concussions mainly have involved receivers and defenders on short crossing routes. The physics of spread-passing offenses are creating circumstances that lead to maximum-speed head contact. With spread offenses and short passing proliferating at all levels of football, perhaps it is time for a larger re-examination of the rules."

I hope this reader of Gregg's doesn't want to change the rules on offense to prevent teams from using the spread offense or something like that, and instead, wants to focus on re-examining whether defensive players are really at fault for an increase in vicious hits. I don't think the offensive rules should be changed at all to negatively impact the spread-passing offenses.

Derek Anderson audibled to a max-protect -- eight blockers, only two receivers. Seattle rushed six against eight blockers, almost instant sack, recovered the fumble, and a moment later the lead is 26-10. Aaron Curry of Seattle got the almost-instant sack -- he was double-teamed by Stephen Spach and Tim Hightower of Arizona, and easily shoved both out of the way.

Aaron Curry got a sack? I thought he wasn't fully capable of doing that from the linebacker position? Someone quick, email Peter King and tell him about this. He won't believe this actually happened.

Now it's the next Arizona offensive snap. Seattle defensive end Chris Clemons blows through for an almost-instant sack on first down, and the Cardinals end up punting. Clemons was double-teamed by Hightower and tackle Levi Brown (the fifth overall pick in the 2007 draft), and easily shoved both out of the way.

It wasn't just two seasons ago that Gregg Easterbrook was complimenting the Cardinals offensive line for being so good while having undrafted and unwanted players on the roster. Now that the Cardinals offensive line isn't playing well, Gregg conveniently leaves out these players draft position or whether they were wanted by another team or not...except when it comes to calling out the first round pick that missed a block.

Next week: Watching the Chargers' special teams causes TMQ to have a near-death experience.

When Gregg has this near-death experience maybe he will come back and give up writing about the NFL.