8:17 - No sound on my television. Instead, the only way to enjoy sports announcing: radio. Bring joyous music to my ears, Bob Wischusen.
8:20 - Mark Sanchez is wearing a ski mask for warmth. Out of all the people who buy ski masks, what percentage of those masks are used for illegal activities? I'll go with 23%.
8:22 - Only two Monday Night Countdown analysts pick the Jets. But since Tom Jackson possesses the only legitimate opinion due to his ability to both enunciate and use logic, their near consensus is useless
8:27 - Jon Gruden is wearing an oddly colored brown jacket. Can't tell whether or not it's suede. If it is, my respect for him will triple.
8:30 - Sanchez is wearing eye-black. I find it hard to believe that the stadium lights affect his sight so drastically that eye-black is necessary. This is not Remember The Titans or any other classic sports movie. Enough with the eye-black on sight. (I don't mean to pick on Sanchez, but ESPN has shown a close-up of his face at least 8 times already.)
8:35 - Jets call tails on the coin toss. Always a good sign. AND they defer. Clearly someone plays Madden.
8:37 - Brady has that "I'm going to stick it to them because I can," look. Saying it now: Pats TD on the opening drive.
1st Quarter
14:54 - Danny Woodhead in the huddle on the first play. I wouldn't put it past Belichick to throw it to Woodhead just as an "eff you" to the Jets.
14:45 - Okay, so he went to Welker. It was a nice thought.
8:42 - Bob Wischusen insists upon saying "BenJarvus Green-Ellis" every single time. I guess there's really no nickname for him that incorporates his name. Ben? Jarvus? Green-Ellis? All of them just sound awkward.
12:34 - Pats give an extra cheer for Woodhead after a 7-yard carry for a first down. Not at all surprised. Then a huge gain to Branch. Brady is doing whatever he wants. He's just as locked in as he was against Pittsburgh.
11:50 - Brady's got the ski mask also. I thought he was tougher than that.
11:50 - Belichick is wearing his classic women's ski headband. He's reach such a high status that he can wear literally whatever he wants.
11:02 - 41-yard field goal is good and the stadium sets off fireworks. A little excessive for 3 points, no?
8:45 - The worst QB sneak attempt ever. Sanchez looked like he was afraid of any contact and just flopped to the ground like a dead fish.
8:35 - Shonne Greene converts. There's no way they were going to give it to Sanchez on the sneak again.
8:45 - The worst QB sneak attempt ever. Sanchez looked like he was afraid of any contact and just flopped to the ground like a dead fish.
8:35 - Shonne Greene converts. There's no way they were going to give it to Sanchez on the sneak again.
7:34 - Jerod Mayo proves why he plays linebacker, not tight end. When the Jets get points, the guilt will fully sink in.
6:55 - Jets missed a 53-yard field goal. Why is it that everyone in the stadium knew the FG attempt was a bad move except for the man making the decision? It's cold, it's windy, it's the first quarter. Unnecessary. Brady will make the Jets pay. Mark my words.
6:55 - Wischusen: Nick Folk misses a 53 yard field goal by 53 yards - well put.
4:49 - Eric Smith proves why the Jets miss Jim Leonhard. I can't tell if Brady intentionally underthrew the ball knowing Smith was hell bent on knocking Gronkowski down.
4:04 - And Brady makes Rex Ryan pay for his poor decision-making. 10-0 Pats.
3:55 - Woodhead on the special teams tackle. Who didn't think that he would haunt the Jets?
2:34 - A 12 yard punt by Steve Weatherford. Sanchez is rattled - not a surprise. But Weatherford rattled too? There's something wrong with New York punters.
2:01 - Eric Smith had a chance at redemption, but did not capitalize. Can't let those chances go against Brady. He's the type of QB that will make a point to say "you should have caught that ball. Now I'm going to get six thanks to your incompetence."
1:15 - Belichick going for it on 4th down shows both is immortality and his insane confidence. But he's giving a chance to get back in the game. Ask Mark Sanchez to come back from a 13 point deficit. Don't give him renewed confidence.
1:07 - Of course the Pats convert and score a touchdown. Against any other team, a 17-0 deficit on the road on Monday Night signals the end of the game. But it's the Jets, and they love them some comeback magic.
2nd Quarter
12:24 - 3rd and 3 for the Jets at the Pats 21. A team with confidence runs the ball. But the Jets do not have that confidence. Instead, no hands Braylon drops the ball. The Nick Folk saga continues.
12:19 - Nick Folk field goal is barely good. The entire stadium was only inches from laughing at a Folk miss.
12:19 - This is what separates Tom Brady from Peyton Manning. While I'd probably take Manning over Brady in general, Brady has the emotional maturity and hatred of a 12-year-old boy. Except he manages to harness that hatred into a positive. He'll punish the Jets for only managing three points.
12:06 - The ghost/real body of Danny Woodhead is back to work. Huge gain to the Jets 33.
11:18 - Wischusen (David Harris hurt): "Harris is motionless down on one knee." I think that more accurately explains a position of prayer than an injury.
10:18 - Tom Brady QB sneak. He went in with reckless abandon. I hope Sanchez is taking notes.
9:07 - Deon Branch complains that he didn't set a pick (there was an offensive pass interference penalty on the play). I'm tired of players complaining regardless of the call. Tim Duncan syndrome seems to have spread to the NFL. Just in case professional athletes were wondering, you lose credibility when you argue every single call. Pick and choose your spots.
8:21 - Pats touchdown. Rex Ryan can't challenge because he does not want to be out of challenges early in the second quarter. It just goes to show that challenging the spot of the ball is by far the worst reason to challenge in the NFL. 24-3, New England.
8:21 - Donald Trump's hair makes its first appearance. A light wind gives the hair a life of its own. Simply put, it's moving like jello.
8:21 - This game just proves that a win is not a win. The Jets have squeaked by against mediocre teams. They are 1-2 against teams above .500. That, and not their record, is the true indicator of their team's true ability.
8:08 - Santonio is flapping his gums for no discernible reason after a first down reception. I wonder what Pats smack talk sparked this? They must have talked about his mother. It's the only thing that can bring a man to such angry emotion.
4:06 - Jets actually make a stop, then get a good return. But it was too good to be true. The return is called back by a penalty. Holmes is still flailing his arms like an angry alcoholic. I'm very curious about what set him off.
2:31 - Weatherford with another terrible punt. Maybe he should just get the snap and take off running. The Pats would have similar field position anyway.
1:03 - Sanchez is running the least hurried hurry-up offense I've ever seen. They need points on this possession. Scratch that. They need any sort of positive. Even five yards is a good sign.
0:00 - Jets can't even get the hail mary off to end the half - Wischusen's reaction: "wow."
Alright folks, it's halftime. Food break.
3rd Quarter
14:55 - And we're back. And of course to start the half, Jets fans hearts jump through their throats as Tomlinson inexplicably drops the ball. Good thing #52 on the Pats has stone hands.
12:27 - Braylon Edwards finally shows some signs of life. For the first time in the game, the Jets are in the Wendy's red zone. Yes, Wendy's. That's whom the Jets chose to sponsor their red zone. Coors light or some other beer probably would have been more appropriate.
12:27 - Marty Lyons, Wischusen's co-host, gives extensive stats indicating that the Pats cannot defend in the red zone. He might as well guarantee that they attempt a field goal with that jinx.
11:23 - In a surprising turn of events, Brad Smith is stopped a yard short of the first down on 3rd down.
11:23 - Jets going for it. Definitely not a QB sneak coming since Sanchez has proven himself inept. Slant to Santonio Holmes and he catches it. Holmes gets up and poses for the cameras. Yes, the Jets are still down 21.
9:23 - And Sanchez throws a pick. The Jets can thank Lyons for that one.
9:15 - 14-yard gain for Woodhead on a pass from Brady. On the bright side for the Jets, Joe McKnight has played well this season.
4:47 - Welker literally drags Drew Coleman into the end zone. Any time the small, weak, and extremely lightweight Wes Welker is dragging a defender into the end zone, you know your team has issues. 31-3, New England.
4:47 - Brady headbutts Welker in celebration of the TD, then keeps their heads locked as he says something to Welker. There are only two possibilities here.
1) "Great play Wes, keep it up and we'll really embarrass them."
2) "Aren't you glad that you're not on Miami anymore?"
4:04 - Joe McKnight getting ready to receive the kick. The only way he justifies his roster spot over Woodhead is by returning this kick for a TD. But it's a pooch kick. Can't really explain that one. It's not like McKnight's reputation warrants a pooch kick...
3:58 - Sanchez picked off again - this feels like those times when your friends do something so embarrassing that you have to look away. I might just turn this game off and end the live blog early.
3:30 - This is why I love Belichick and Brady. The Pats are up 28 with the game in the bag, but they are still throwing and going for more points. Lay the hammer down, and then some.
:55 - Woodhead - again. And then again. 49 more yards. Now he's got 2 carries for 11 yards and 4 catches for 104 yards. I think this has to be the single worst cut televised Hard Knocks cut of all time.
14:57 - 4th TD for Brady. No one covering Hernandez. I hope the Pats go for two.
10:50 - Pats get the ball back and go for it on 4th down in the red zone. Belichick hates the Jets too. Whether or not he wants to admit it is a different story.
9:26 - Another "eff you" TD from the Pats as BJ (not sure if that works) goes up the middle for 5 yards. Belichick is secretly loving this.
6:53 - Jets are back in the Wendy's red zone! YES! Apparently they have new french fries. That's about just as exciting as this game has been.
5:53 - Jets turn it over on downs - Tomlinson watches the ball go by him, literally. He could have stuck his hands out, but chose not too. That felt like a Randy Moss move.
5:49 - Jets turnover on downs. And Fred Taylor in the game! I think that's the biggest indicator that the game is over.
Alright, I think that's enough for one day. If you managed to make it through this monstrosity, leave a comment about the Jets/Pats game. Or something else that was immensely more interesting.
6:55 - Jets missed a 53-yard field goal. Why is it that everyone in the stadium knew the FG attempt was a bad move except for the man making the decision? It's cold, it's windy, it's the first quarter. Unnecessary. Brady will make the Jets pay. Mark my words.
6:55 - Wischusen: Nick Folk misses a 53 yard field goal by 53 yards - well put.
4:49 - Eric Smith proves why the Jets miss Jim Leonhard. I can't tell if Brady intentionally underthrew the ball knowing Smith was hell bent on knocking Gronkowski down.
4:04 - And Brady makes Rex Ryan pay for his poor decision-making. 10-0 Pats.
3:55 - Woodhead on the special teams tackle. Who didn't think that he would haunt the Jets?
2:34 - A 12 yard punt by Steve Weatherford. Sanchez is rattled - not a surprise. But Weatherford rattled too? There's something wrong with New York punters.
2:01 - Eric Smith had a chance at redemption, but did not capitalize. Can't let those chances go against Brady. He's the type of QB that will make a point to say "you should have caught that ball. Now I'm going to get six thanks to your incompetence."
1:15 - Belichick going for it on 4th down shows both is immortality and his insane confidence. But he's giving a chance to get back in the game. Ask Mark Sanchez to come back from a 13 point deficit. Don't give him renewed confidence.
1:07 - Of course the Pats convert and score a touchdown. Against any other team, a 17-0 deficit on the road on Monday Night signals the end of the game. But it's the Jets, and they love them some comeback magic.
2nd Quarter
12:24 - 3rd and 3 for the Jets at the Pats 21. A team with confidence runs the ball. But the Jets do not have that confidence. Instead, no hands Braylon drops the ball. The Nick Folk saga continues.
12:19 - Nick Folk field goal is barely good. The entire stadium was only inches from laughing at a Folk miss.
12:19 - This is what separates Tom Brady from Peyton Manning. While I'd probably take Manning over Brady in general, Brady has the emotional maturity and hatred of a 12-year-old boy. Except he manages to harness that hatred into a positive. He'll punish the Jets for only managing three points.
12:06 - The ghost/real body of Danny Woodhead is back to work. Huge gain to the Jets 33.
11:18 - Wischusen (David Harris hurt): "Harris is motionless down on one knee." I think that more accurately explains a position of prayer than an injury.
10:18 - Tom Brady QB sneak. He went in with reckless abandon. I hope Sanchez is taking notes.
9:07 - Deon Branch complains that he didn't set a pick (there was an offensive pass interference penalty on the play). I'm tired of players complaining regardless of the call. Tim Duncan syndrome seems to have spread to the NFL. Just in case professional athletes were wondering, you lose credibility when you argue every single call. Pick and choose your spots.
8:21 - Pats touchdown. Rex Ryan can't challenge because he does not want to be out of challenges early in the second quarter. It just goes to show that challenging the spot of the ball is by far the worst reason to challenge in the NFL. 24-3, New England.
8:21 - Donald Trump's hair makes its first appearance. A light wind gives the hair a life of its own. Simply put, it's moving like jello.
8:21 - This game just proves that a win is not a win. The Jets have squeaked by against mediocre teams. They are 1-2 against teams above .500. That, and not their record, is the true indicator of their team's true ability.
8:08 - Santonio is flapping his gums for no discernible reason after a first down reception. I wonder what Pats smack talk sparked this? They must have talked about his mother. It's the only thing that can bring a man to such angry emotion.
4:06 - Jets actually make a stop, then get a good return. But it was too good to be true. The return is called back by a penalty. Holmes is still flailing his arms like an angry alcoholic. I'm very curious about what set him off.
2:31 - Weatherford with another terrible punt. Maybe he should just get the snap and take off running. The Pats would have similar field position anyway.
1:03 - Sanchez is running the least hurried hurry-up offense I've ever seen. They need points on this possession. Scratch that. They need any sort of positive. Even five yards is a good sign.
0:00 - Jets can't even get the hail mary off to end the half - Wischusen's reaction: "wow."
Alright folks, it's halftime. Food break.
3rd Quarter
14:55 - And we're back. And of course to start the half, Jets fans hearts jump through their throats as Tomlinson inexplicably drops the ball. Good thing #52 on the Pats has stone hands.
12:27 - Braylon Edwards finally shows some signs of life. For the first time in the game, the Jets are in the Wendy's red zone. Yes, Wendy's. That's whom the Jets chose to sponsor their red zone. Coors light or some other beer probably would have been more appropriate.
12:27 - Marty Lyons, Wischusen's co-host, gives extensive stats indicating that the Pats cannot defend in the red zone. He might as well guarantee that they attempt a field goal with that jinx.
11:23 - In a surprising turn of events, Brad Smith is stopped a yard short of the first down on 3rd down.
11:23 - Jets going for it. Definitely not a QB sneak coming since Sanchez has proven himself inept. Slant to Santonio Holmes and he catches it. Holmes gets up and poses for the cameras. Yes, the Jets are still down 21.
9:23 - And Sanchez throws a pick. The Jets can thank Lyons for that one.
9:15 - 14-yard gain for Woodhead on a pass from Brady. On the bright side for the Jets, Joe McKnight has played well this season.
4:47 - Welker literally drags Drew Coleman into the end zone. Any time the small, weak, and extremely lightweight Wes Welker is dragging a defender into the end zone, you know your team has issues. 31-3, New England.
4:47 - Brady headbutts Welker in celebration of the TD, then keeps their heads locked as he says something to Welker. There are only two possibilities here.
1) "Great play Wes, keep it up and we'll really embarrass them."
2) "Aren't you glad that you're not on Miami anymore?"
4:04 - Joe McKnight getting ready to receive the kick. The only way he justifies his roster spot over Woodhead is by returning this kick for a TD. But it's a pooch kick. Can't really explain that one. It's not like McKnight's reputation warrants a pooch kick...
3:58 - Sanchez picked off again - this feels like those times when your friends do something so embarrassing that you have to look away. I might just turn this game off and end the live blog early.
3:30 - This is why I love Belichick and Brady. The Pats are up 28 with the game in the bag, but they are still throwing and going for more points. Lay the hammer down, and then some.
:55 - Woodhead - again. And then again. 49 more yards. Now he's got 2 carries for 11 yards and 4 catches for 104 yards. I think this has to be the single worst cut televised Hard Knocks cut of all time.
14:57 - 4th TD for Brady. No one covering Hernandez. I hope the Pats go for two.
10:50 - Pats get the ball back and go for it on 4th down in the red zone. Belichick hates the Jets too. Whether or not he wants to admit it is a different story.
9:26 - Another "eff you" TD from the Pats as BJ (not sure if that works) goes up the middle for 5 yards. Belichick is secretly loving this.
6:53 - Jets are back in the Wendy's red zone! YES! Apparently they have new french fries. That's about just as exciting as this game has been.
5:53 - Jets turn it over on downs - Tomlinson watches the ball go by him, literally. He could have stuck his hands out, but chose not too. That felt like a Randy Moss move.
5:49 - Jets turnover on downs. And Fred Taylor in the game! I think that's the biggest indicator that the game is over.
Alright, I think that's enough for one day. If you managed to make it through this monstrosity, leave a comment about the Jets/Pats game. Or something else that was immensely more interesting.
I will write more later but I think the lesson we all learned is never talk shit, talk negatively about or in any way indicate you are better than the Patriots. Bill Belichick will destroy you on national television.
ReplyDeleteOk, here are my two cents:
ReplyDelete1. I am with you on the eye black thing. He's not chasing down fly balls and it is dark out. Cut down on the eye black.
2. Belichick reminds me of Billie Jean King when he wears the head band...don't know why, but he does.
3. I think only the Jets thought keeping McKnight over Woodhead was a good move. I watched the last episode of "Hard Knocks" and didn't even think there should be a doubt as to if Woodhead should make the roster. How did the Jets screw this up?
4. The Wendy's Red Zone? No other sponsors huh? No one?
5. Wendy's does have new french fries and they are good....which means they contain 185 fat grams.
6. I thought drafting McKnight was a mistake...so keeping him over a clearly more talented player is something that can only be justified with McKnight having blackmail material on Rex Ryan.