MMQB Review: Peter Is Going On Vacation, But It Will Be a Huge Headache Edition

I have ignored Peter King's MMQB column for the past couple of weeks, or however long it has been since he accused Hertz of price gouging by charging him a lot of money per gallon to refill his rental car. It's not Peter's fault he was too lazy to refill the car with gas. How is that his fault? He is Peter King and shouldn't have to do such lower class things like that. It is bad enough he has to occasionally ride public transportation with common folk, but now you want him to pump his own gas? This week Peter has no news on the lockout, talks a little bit about Tiki Barber and how he can redeem himself (Tiki, not Peter...there is no redeeming Peter), and discusses free agency, which is relevant considering there is no free agency at this point. Remember the Peter King that was chastising other writers for discussing where quarterbacks like Kevin Kolb may end up being traded because it is pure speculation? That guy is gone now for the sake of filling up space.

Feels like the calm before the storm a bit, doesn't it?

No, it doesn't. It feels like the lockout is still going on and there is very little to report. Man, I wish I had the guts to quit watching the NFL after the lockout ends. It is two groups of idiots who are so stupid they are willing to hurt a billion dollar industry and alienate NFL fans with their posturing. Then, when the two groups come to an agreement, they will expect NFL fans and the public to be proud of them because they managed to not screw up the NFL. Congratulations guys, you didn't blow it all to Hell. You receive no credit for managing to not fail.

With the 32 NFL owners meeting Tuesday in Chicago, we should know soon how close a labor deal really is, and whether Roger Goodell and the owners' negotiating team will have any real problems selling a new labor agreement to the owners.

That's the big news right now.

I wonder if Peter King gets feedback from fans, or I am just in the minority, but I don't consider this big news. I consider any news on the lockout negotiations as preliminary. It is only mid-June, the owners and players are going to stretch this out for a few more weeks. Give me news when there is news, otherwise I am not sure I want to hear about the lockout.

I write about Los Angeles being on the verge of being in the Super Bowl rotation, the leaders in the clubhouse for Nnamdi Asomugha, an NFL teacher of the year totally out of left field (fitting, because he teaches at Ted Williams' old high school), thuggery in Vancouver, the death of Bruce Springsteen's alter ego

Bruce Springsteen's alter ego, Fred the 62 year old dock worker with a jutted out lower jaw and the constant look of constipation, died of sadness when he heard the news of Clarence Clemons passing away.

The meeting in Chicago is not going to be particularly momentous. What it will do, as Yahoo!'s Jason Cole suggested Sunday in his excellent analysis of the labor scene, is flush out the real feelings of the owners.

The owners' mood rings say they are kind of sad, but their unstoppable greed is managing to get them through it alright on the path to happiness.

Just to clarify: Tuesday's meeting (a two-per-club affair, with an owner and executive from each of the 32 teams) will not feature an agreement to be voted on, but rather a good idea of where the major points may end up when and if the league and the players reach an agreement in the coming weeks. This will give all 32 teams the chance to give their thoughts on a variety of issues, from the shortening of the offseason programs by five weeks to exactly where the cap will end up.

So the big news is that there isn't any big news right now and owners aren't taking a vote on an agreement, but the owners will talk about what they feel about each of the issues on the table? So once the owners all voice their point of view on the issues, at that point the owners will decide how they feel on the issues and then start to negotiate with the union? So how the hell were there negotiations earlier this offseason when each team had not voiced their opinion on what they thought about the issues? This is why I can't talk about the lockout, it frustrates me.

That's not to say it's going to get done, period. But the longer the talks go -- the two sides have met for six days this month, there's a good vibe around the talks, and they're expected to continue later this week after the owners meet -- the better shot at a deal.

And I will be so proud of them if both sides manage to come to a deal. How smart of the player's union to make sure the players still have job to continue their somewhat lavish lifestyle and the owners are just brilliant for figuring out a way to continue making a shitload of money on NFL games played in their stadiums.

But Goodell will tell them it has to happen for there to be a deal. I think whatever the nuts and bolts of this CBA become, he has been working with these owners on the tenets of this deal for three years, and he may have some opposition ... but I can't see nine teams' worth of it. For nine owners to rise up and say, Whoa, I'm not buying into this, is unlikely.

I've accused Peter of being too pro-owner and I will continue to do this for the time being. Peter King has a vested interest in the owners and player's union getting along. He gets paid to cover the NFL, so in a way his employment and ability to make his job easier (imagine his MMQB in mid-October with no NFL games) depends on the NFL playing games this year. This owner's are the ones who opted out of the CBA and they are the ones who are perceived to pushing a hard bargain. So if Peter makes it seem, and helps us see it this way, the owners are actually an amenable group that can come to an agreement with the players it helps the owner's public perception. I'm not saying Peter is doing this intentionally, but the same group which won't fail to have nine teams agree to the parameters of a deal are also the same group that had not even voiced their opinion on the topics at hand quite yet...so really we don't know where they stand.

"I think the reports of teams unhappy with how far Roger's gone in these negotiations are overblown,'' said one club official who will be in the room Tuesday. "No question, some people won't like many things in it. The small-market teams, in particular. But will there be nine teams up in arms enough to wreck it? I'd be really surprised.''

Now if we could just get the player's union to agree this deal could be done. The owners can come to an agreement and are one mostly unified body.

See how this sort of paints the owners in a more positive light? I don't care, but after Peter's fawning interview of Goodell in Sports Illustrated and the fact he has a close relationship with Goodell, I have become somewhat suspicious of his motives. Again, it may not be intentional. Either way, I don't expect a deal until the season is really in jeopardy of being lost.

My educated guess, and maybe a little more than that, is Pittsburgh will be Tiki Barber's landing spot this summer when he tries to return to football after four seasons away.

Who really cares where Tiki Barber ends up? (searches for hands in the air and there are none)

The Steelers have a core of veteran stars; Tiki Barber would fit right in. The Steelers have a good back, Rashard Mendenhall, but no back-of-the-future type who Barber would be robbing playing time from.

Other than a 24 year old running back coming off back-to-back 1,100 yard rushing seasons there isn't any running back on the Steelers roster who Barber would be stealing carries from.

I'm also told that wherever he goes, Barber won't be content to be a mopup guy or insurance policy; he wants to play a lot.

That sounds about right knowing Tiki Barber's personality. Selfish and delusional about his own abilities. So it probably does make sense for a 36 year old running back to join the Steelers and play a lot. It's not like Rashard Mendenhall was productive for the Steelers last year.

One of my favorite things is now that Pro Football Talk has joined up with NBC Sports they do the "ESPN-style" of creating a news story and then reporting on their own news story. For instance, on Monday there was a post up on PFT about how Peter King thinks Barber will probably join the Steelers. So an NBC-affiliated reporter reports a story and then an NBC-affiliated rumors site gives it credence by citing the report. ESPN is impressed with how well this was done. This happens every Monday on PFT. They report part of what Peter King has already reported in MMQB. I think I am going to start a news blog and then report on what is said over there on this blog.

"When I hear, 'L.A. people don't care about the NFL,' I think it's ridiculous,'' Michaels said. "When I moved here in 1958, I saw two Rams games at the Coliseum that drew 100,000 [each]. This is an event town. There's something about being at a Lakers game that's almost like a badge of honor.

53 years ago two Rams games drew 100,000 people each! Nothing much politically, financially or socially could have changed in a 53 year time span that would cause this to not happen again.

There's more momentum for a team in Los Angeles than at any time since the league left after the 1994 season. If the city council approves a Memorandum of Understanding with prospective owner AEG by July 31, and if a 30,000-page Environmental Impact Report passes muster with the politicos, there's still one small problem -- a team relocating in time to play when a stadium downtown would open in 2016.

(cough cough) Jacksonville.

I make the case lower in this column that the Houston Texans have to go after free-agent cornerback Nnamdi Asomugha when the shopping season opens. And I think the Lions should make a hard run at him too. But I don't get the sense either team will.

Do you know which team should probably make a run at Asomugha? The Raiders. I guess they aren't planning on doing that though.

My three favorites whenever teams can hit the market:

1. Philadelphia. Rumors (and they seem to be more than that) are flying that the Eagles are going to strike quickly and spend big money in free agency. Imagine pairing Asomugha with very good cover man Asante Samuel. It'd be money well-spent, even at a Bradyish $18 million a year.

I'm sorry, maybe I am a traditionalist, but I doubt a cornerback is worth $18 million per year. Even suggesting so at this point is a bit presumptuous since no one even knows what the salary cap will be for the coming year. $18 million for a cornerback? Why don't the Eagles just make a run at Peyton Manning and spend a few more million dollars per year? (That was a joke)

2. Dallas. Go back in history.

I can't. I forgot to bring my time machine today. Sorry.

3. Baltimore. Everything says no -- the Ravens need to sign Haloti Ngata long-term, and how many megabuck defensive players can you have in a cap era?

Four. The answer is four.

But Ozzie Newsome knows the only thing his defense lacks is a shutdown corner.

So why not pay out the ass for one and not find out if Jimmy Smith, you know that cornerback the Ravens drafted in the first round this year, will work as a shutdown corner? That makes sense to do obviously.

And I could see Seattle kicking the tires. The Seahawks don't have a $10-million-a-year player, and Paul Allen's got the dough. We'll see, but my guess is Asomugha ends up in the NFC East.

There's a shock, Peter thinks a player will end up in the NFC East. Actually, it probably is a bit of a shock since it seems like anytime there is an eligible free agent Peter tends to link that player to the Patriots at some point.

I also like the idea the Seahawks don't have a $10-million-per-year player and that's why they could chase Asomugha. Apparently having a player that is paid $10 million per year means you are a successful organization?

By the way, I had every intention in this space of running down the top 20 free agents, but I looked at the list and it felt a little fruitless. We don't know what the rules are, and whether four- and five-year unsigned vets will be free. So I'll wait until we have more information.

Why waste the space listing the Top 20 free agents, which is an opinion, when you can spend time speculating on where one free agent will go and try to base it on facts when there aren't really too many facts available?

"We're the Ellis Island of education,'' said assistant principal Andreas Trakas. "We've got 2,200 kids here, and 35 different languages being spoken. At the same time, we've had about a third of our teachers cut in this state in recent years, most of them the young, passionate teachers we cannot afford to lose.

These cuts of young, passionate teachers is definitely the fault of the state funding the school and not the fault of the old, non-passionate teachers who have tenure and use their sway among their friends in the teacher's union to make sure their job is the one that stays around. Or maybe not. The teacher's union in a state would NEVER allow a state to get rid of young, passionate teachers simply because they haven't been in the system long enough to make the right friends. It is not like they probably make less money than older teachers or anything.

Typical student for Grossman: a girl who's always tired in school because her mother's a prostitute and makes the girl stay home at night to take care of the family while she works the streets. True story. "We don't find candy wrappers on campus,'' he said over the weekend. "We find condom wrappers.''

At least the kids are using condoms. That's a positive.

I remember going to high school and I really don't remember finding a bunch of candy wrappers on campus. Perhaps I should visit more high schools and find out about this candy wrapper polluting epidemic.

• Surprised at me having Kyle Williams 27 while the players, apparently, don't have him in the top 100? Watch some video of him.

Will do Peter! (Bengoodfella goes searching for the video library at my house where he keeps tape on each NFL player in order to evaluate their performance. He stops after five minutes, realizing he has no way of watching video on Kyle Williams and Peter King is stupid for suggesting his readers do have a way)

Always moving forward. A machine.

Well, that's not fair since the rest of the players are humans. There needs to something put in the new CBA to prevent machines from playing in the NFL.

We all saw the ridiculous display in Vancouver on Wednesday night after the hometown Canucks lost Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals. A scarier view into the future I haven't seen in some time. The callousness of hundreds of people (it wasn't 10 or 20 or 60; we're talking hundreds of people taking the law into their hands and ransacking portions of a city) cannot be dismissed by saying, "Oh, it's just a bunch of drunks who got carried away after a game.''

What possesses people to BURN police cars? To slash firehoses so fires can't be put out? To pose, smiling and laughing, in front of burning cars and smashed plate-glass windows? That's what I found the most stunning Wednesday night. Video of the so-called normal people, 25ish fans, men/women, running to pose in front of a burning BMW, putting up thumbs-up signs, or victory signs, and smiling. Normal people think it's cool. Average people, maybe out on a date night or whatever they were doing out on the street, probably with normal jobs and lives, running to pose in front of a burning car ... What were they thinking? "Let me have a cool memory of the riots of 2011!''

I know Peter! I completely agree. Boston fans would never do something like riot. If only the Vancouver fans could have been as classy as Celtics fans were when they won the NBA championship in 2008.

This video was shot outside a library where a hundred people were debating what the championship meant for the city of Boston.

This video probably shows some well meaning Celtics fans trying to get in a building that is supposed to be open and is locked. So they had to try to throw things at the window in order to open the building.

But those Wednesday night scenes left me as scared about our future as anything I've seen in a long time.

They were terrible riots, but let's not act like this type thing hasn't happened before. Specifically in the very city where Peter lives.

"I can still throw the ball as well as I ever have. No question about that. But I don't want to put my body through that anymore. I've been beat up enough.''
-- Brett Favre, 41, at a football camp in Hattiesburg, Miss.

OK. Don't anyone start the rumors. Just don't.

We won't start rumors. How about you don't print Brett Favre's quotes? Nothing starts rumors faster then printing the quotes of an ex-quarterback desperate to be back in the spotlight. So don't give it space...but Peter just can't do that. Brett Favre is his drug.

The five reasons Bob McNair and the Houston Texans must go after Nnamdi Asomugha, and must go after him hard, whenever free agency opens:

1. Houston allowed a league-high 4,499 yards passing last year.

They could also improve this number by improving their pass rush. It is a crazy thought, I know.

3. Glover Quin and Kareem Jackson, the nominal starting corners, have five interceptions in 44 career games between them.

I won't say these two guys played well, but Jackson was a rookie last year. Rookie corners tend to get tested quite frequently, so his rookie year statistics may not be completely reliable when concerning his future performance.

5. Bob McNair paid $700 million for the Texans and chipped in much of the $425 million it cost to build Reliant Stadium for the team to play in. The one thing standing in the way of being truly competitive at a high NFL level is a significant upgrade on defense.

And Asomugha is that one upgrade which will put the Texans in the playoffs and make them a high-level NFL contender?

Since the dawn of free agency, only one player, Reggie White, has been a better prize on the free-agent market than Asomugha.

We hear this every year. Two years ago it was Albert Haynesworth that was the big prize, last year it was Julius Peppers, and three years before that it was someone else. Every year we hear there is a player on the free agent market that is a team-changer. In 2008, one site even suggested Asante Samuel was an elite free agent. It all depends on your point of view, but excuse me if I am not thinking Asomugha is the best free agent since Reggie White.

You cannot tell me that he wouldn't be worth $18 million a year to employ. I will not buy it.

You can not sell your own opinion as fact to support your contention. I will not buy it. Asomugha is a great shutdown cornerback, but $18 million is still a lot of money for him.

Five Things I'm Not Looking Forward to on Vacation (Travel Section):

Commence whining...

1. The middle seat in coach. It's going to happen sometime. But if I never have to sit in the middle seat in coach again, I'd be overjoyed.

Is Peter's life so terrible that he has to actually complain about going on vacation? I will repeat this...he complains about going on vacation. Less lofty people would just be happy to be on vacation for a month.

3. The $73 tank of gas.

Coming from a guy who most likely makes high six figures per year, this is just incomprehensible. I'm sorry gas is so expensive on your month-long vacation. Why must oil companies torture only you this way. Peter doesn't sound spoiled at all by complaining about gas prices everyone has to pay.

5. Having pangs of conscience when the labor deal gets worked out and I'm into my fourth Harpoon summer beer (in the flashy yellow can), and saying, "Should I really go and bat out a reaction column right now?''

If it makes Peter feel any better, we don't give a shit about his reaction so he forgo writing the column about the end of the lockout, when and if it happens. So he can keep sucking the Harpoon summer beer down. Doesn't Harpoon beer run about $16-$17 for a 12 pack? Let's talk about that $73 tank of gas complaining again as compared to spending $16-$17 for 12 bottles of beer.

Five Things I'm Looking Forward to Doing:

1. Whining about something to my readers when I get back.

2. General whining.

3. Complaining about something.

4. Criticizing everyone for what they wear or do while traveling.

5. Catch up with Brett Favre, then report on what Favre said and then tell everyone to stop talking about Favre because he isn't coming back.

2. Doing more of nothing, except walking and seeing a different world, in Trieste, Italy.

I just hope there aren't people who ruin this trip for Peter by reading an day-old newspaper on a train or being too loud while walking down the street.

1. I think Chad Pennington will be a natural doing games for FOX this fall. His announcement to the Charleston (W.Va.) Daily Mail surprised me, but it makes sense that he'll take the season off because of shoulder and knee rehab and not wanting to rush back. The big question is: Will Pennington be able to talk critically -- if he needs to -- of a team that he may hope to play for in 2012?

These are the true dilemmas in life. Chad Pennington is set for life, but what if he wants to say something bad about a future team or teammate? Then he may have to stay retired and still be set for life, while still having a job he doesn't need talking about the sport he loves. Tough times in the Pennington household.

4. I think I continue to be mind-boggled at the fact that there will be such a lack of interest (unless a lot of people I speak with about it are lying) in the unemployed, inexpensive and supremely motivated Plaxico Burress when free agency opens. Just stupid. In the right offense he'll be the big target many teams lack, and, if healthy, he'll catch 60-plus balls and be a good deep threat. At worst? He's not going to cost much. What's the downside? Rams, Browns? Tell me. I'm dying to know.

I know I can't think of the downside of signing a 34 year old convicted felon who hasn't played competitive football in two years.

In all seriousness, the Browns should maybe look at Burress, but the Rams have a bunch of young receivers and I think their priority is getting those guys playing time.

7. I think, lest you think Rex Ryan is an altogether one-sided sports person, I'll take you into a little view of Ryan's sports brain. I ran into him the other day outside of Boston, and the talk turned to how hot the Red Sox were, and Ryan, who is not a Red Sox fan, said to me, "Yeah, but they gotta get Crawford going.'' I suppose someone who tangentially followed baseball would know Carl Crawford is off to a so-so start in his Boston career, but I was impressed that Ryan knew what a relatively weak link he'd been.

All you have to do in order to impress Peter King is know a lot of stuff about his favorite teams. Of course, I am sure in Boston there is absolutely no talk on sports radio about Crawford's play this year, so I am sure there is no way Rex Ryan could have heard it from there. Or he may know baseball pretty well. I think I may stick with the radio assumption.

e. Good-bye and good luck at NFL.com, Dom Bonvissuto. You have been one hell of an editor, and you will do great at whatever you do, wherever you do it. Watch out for LA. It's a great big freeway.

I think Peter King has just come up with what should be the city motto of Los Angeles.

Los Angeles: It's a Great Big Freeway.

f. Re the Stanley Cup: Just like in the NBA, the better team won.

This statement, though true, is made completely impartially by Boston native Peter King. Isn't Peter a New Jersey Devils fan? Sounds like he may have some sports bigamy in his future.

i. I see saboteurs opened up fake Twitter accounts to try to lure Anthony Weiner into relationships. Another great day for America.

Because the problem stems from all the people trying to lure Weiner into a relationship on Twitter not the fact Weiner sent lurid pictures out to a pornstar. I get it. Given the fact Peter is a Democrat (as seen by pretty much any political view he espouses), I am 100% sure his point of view isn't affected by the fact Weiner is also a Democrat.

n. I don't know LeBron James. Have never met him. And I don't cover the NBA, so I'm not positive what Gary Washburn wrote the other day in the Boston Globe is right or wrong. But it sure sounded very smart.

"I know nothing about this topic. I have no idea if what I am reading about the topic is correct. It sure sounded really good though."

Thanks for chiming in on the NBA, Peter.

o. Happy next month, people. See you right back in this space on July 25 ... and possibly before that somewhere in the SI empire, if the labor negotiators come to their senses and my conscience gets the best of me.

Why does Peter keep talking about his conscience when discussing writing a column about the end of the lockout? Writing about the end of the lockout isn't a moral issue or if he doesn't write about it Peter hasn't had some moral failing. Does he really believe there are that many people who want his opinion on the end of the lockout?

p. There will still be MMQB. In my absence, I'll have guest columnists. Stay tuned for their identities and good reads on the next four Mondays.

This is my guess at who the four guest columnists will be:

Brett Favre (he probably misses the spotlight)
Jim Harbaugh
Matt Ryan
Donald Driver

I'll be proud if I get one of those correct.