MMQB Review: Peter King Over-Respects Darren Sproles

Peter King handed out his annual Father's Day book suggestion list last week. He only hands out his list of book suggestions on Father's Day and never makes suggestions for Mother's Day books. Clearly, he believes all women to be illiterate. So after calling all women illiterate last week, Peter is going to take a nice, long vacation after this week's MMQB. He reveals who the writers are going to be for MMQB during his four week long hiatus. I don't want to ruin the surprise for you, so we will wait until the end of the column. I realize you are on the edge of your seat. This week Peter King reveals just how highly he thinks of Darren Sproles and rails against the plague against society that occurs when a player signs a one day contract with a team in order to retire as a member of that team.

Much news for what's normally a sleepy Monday in June --

I feel like Peter always starts MMQB off by saying, "Usually it is not busy this time of year, but boy, this year is just so incredibly busy." So I went back to the MMQB Peter wrote last year at this time and it turns out he said the following:

Feels like the calm before the storm a bit, doesn't it?

So he did reference it as being calm last year at this time. This means I was wrong. I still feel like Peter starts his columns off with some variation of, "Man it is busy this time of year, unlike most years at this time." Prior to last year I remember there was the Brett Favre retirement saga the media was focused on, so I don't think June isn't that sleepy for the NFL anymore.

What was interesting as I looked back to a June 2011 MMQB was a few comments Peter made. I thought I'd share a couple of them.

The Steelers have a core of veteran stars; Tiki Barber would fit right in. The Steelers have a good back, Rashard Mendenhall, but no back-of-the-future type who Barber would be robbing playing time from.

So not only did Peter seem to believe Tiki Barber was going to land on an NFL roster, he thought Tiki would go to a team and play a lot. I know Peter didn't let his history of working with Tiki at NBC affect his evaluation of Tiki's ability to come back and play in the NFL. He wouldn't do that. Peter just thought Tiki Barber would come in and immediately contend with a back who ran for 1000 yards the previous season.

I'm also told that wherever he goes, Barber won't be content to be a mopup guy or insurance policy; he wants to play a lot.

Hopefully Tiki Barber will be content to play a lot of football in an arena league or with his local high school team...because he didn't make it back to the NFL.

Then Peter talks about Nnamdi Asomugha, guesses (correctly!) where he will end up and really exaggerates Asomugha's worth on the free agent market. Not only did Peter overstate how much Asomugha would get as a free agent, he actually believed Asomugha was worth this exaggerated amount.

Since the dawn of free agency, only one player, Reggie White, has been a better prize on the free-agent market than Asomugha.

You cannot tell me that he wouldn't be worth $18 million a year to employ. I will not buy it.

Nnamdi Asomugha is not worth $18 million a year to employ. I wonder if Peter believes that now? Asomugha was by no stretch of the imagination bad last year, but $18 million per year good? I don't think he was. Asomugha got 5 years at $60 million with $25 million guaranteed. I still can't see how a cornerback is worth $18 million per year.

but let's start the last Monday column before I take my summer break with some numbers from the amazing career of LaDainian Tomlinson, who will announce his retirement today in San Diego.

Who do we consider the best all-purpose backs of the last 30 years? Well, three players prominent in the conversation are Marcus Allen, Marshall Faulk and Tomlinson.

I know for me, Darren Sproles is not on this conversation. Peter King on the other hand thinks Darren Sproles should be ranked as the fourth best all-purpose back of the last 30 years. This is crazy in my opinion and on par with Peter's comment three years ago that Derek Jeter was the best baseball player in his (Peter's) lifetime. It's like Peter combined his crazy pills and then was given access to a keyboard.

Sproles had a fantastic 2011 season. Prior to last season, Sproles had never had 1000 yards combined in rushing and receiving yards. Peter is using rushing and receiving yards as the basis for his evaluation of a player one of the best all-purpose backs of the last 30 years, but Sproles is pretty weak in that category for his career. Sproles did have two career kickoff returns and three career punt returns over the six years he has been in the NFL. There is no way Sproles is one of the best five all-purpose backs of the last 30 years. I accept and acknowledge his punt and kick return capabilities, but as a running back I tend to weight what he did as a running back heavier than what he did as a returner. Peter even weighs that heavier because he has Tomlinson as his second-best all-purpose running back of the last 30 years and Tomlinson never returned kicks.

Simply put, there are probably 5 current options currently playing in the NFL who are better choices than Sproles to be named one of the five best all-purpose backs of the last 30 years...this doesn't count how many better options have played in the NFL over the last 30 years who are currently playing in the NFL. Please know I am using career numbers to evaluate these players, not just numbers from 2011. I would consider these five players to have better career numbers than Sproles when it comes to being one of the best all-purpose backs of the last 30 years.

Ray Rice
Adrian Peterson
Matt Forte
Chris Johnson
Steven Jackson

I'll take Tomlinson in history over Allen and argue that Tomlinson and Faulk should be 1 and 1a as the most versatile modern backs.

Fine, I can accept this, but Darren Sproles? He was fantastic in 2011, but the best all-purpose running back over the last 30 years is a career award, not an award based on one season.

Top five versatile runners of the last 30 years? (Walter Payton not included, because seven of his 13 seasons came before 1982.) My list:

1. Faulk. Super Bowl win helps -- plus the Super Bowl that New England based its entire game plan on stopping him.

Really, the fact a team based an entire game plan on stopping him is irrelevant, but I agree with the selection of Faulk as #1.

4. Darren Sproles. State of the art today, and perfect in Saints offense.

He's been in the Saints offense for one year! One year. He was great last year, but his fantastic season last year doesn't make him one of the greatest all-purpose backs of the last 30 years. This be crazy.

5. Marcus Allen. Strange to put him behind Sproles, but Allen wasn't as explosive.

It is strange to put him behind Sproles because he shouldn't necessarily be behind Sproles.

Remember: The NFL doesn't have to have proof of bounty money being paid to a defensive player for intentionally injuring an opponent, or for knocking an opponent out of a game, whether intentional or not. The NFL has to show that a bounty was offered. That's it.

But until the NFL shows that proof, there will be significant skepticism that it has enough evidence to throw Jonathan Vilma out of the game for a full season, and to suspend three Saints from the 2009 season for lesser periods.

I'm sure Saints fans think this is all a set up and the league is persecuting Vilma because they just don't like him. The NFL didn't seem to want to release whatever proof they have at Monday's meeting, thereby giving the insane Saints fans more ammo to believe the NFL has a grudge against the Saints. Free Sean Payton!

I'm sure we will hear about this bounty case in the Wednesday edition of the Times-Picayune. New Orleans citizens only have to wait two more days for that paper to be published. Lucky them.

The NFL can't just say, "Trust us on this.'' Too many lives, too many reputations, are on the line here for that.

It's a bit dramatic to say there are too many "lives" on the line in this situation. Yes, Vilma will have to sit out an entire year, but he will be back in the NFL in 2013 and no one is going to die because the Saints bounty program was punished harshly. A little perspective please.

On Friday, I spent an hour on the phone with Brian Banks,...

What impressed me so much about Banks is how bright and engaging he is despite spending 10 formative years of his life away from formal education, and how he's not bitter. How can someone who spent five years in prison for a crime he didn't commit, and then five more as a registered sex offender with a GPS ankle bracelet that he couldn't take off, not be bitter?

I'm bitter just hearing this story. I get bitter and angry if someone claims I said something I do not believe I said. If I were wrongly convicted of a crime, any crime, I would probably be very, very bitter.

My biggest question in this case was what his attorney was doing suggesting Banks could go to jail for decades when there wasn't a single bit of physical DNA evidence suggesting he committed the crime? I am not an attorney, but it just seems like this is the type of case (rape/sexual assault) where physical DNA evidence would be important to gain a conviction.

"I like to tell the story of a little kid who has a dirty room,'' Banks told me. "His mother tells him to clean the room. He says no, and he throws a tantrum. When he stops screaming, the room's still dirty, and he's still got to clean it. When I got to prison, of course I was mad. I didn't understand why the police didn't do a better job investigating the case, and why someone who clearly was not guilty could be put away like that.

Well, he was put away like that because he accepted a plea deal.

I asked Banks: "Isn't prison tough on sex offenders? How'd you survive?''

"I am a very honest person,'' he said. "Ask those who know me. But I lied about why I was in there. That's the way I survived. Three things that there's zero tolerance for in prison -- child molesters, rapists, thieves.

"Prison Talk with Peter King." Coming to NBC Sports Network on Thursdays at 10pm.

So I just told everybody I was in prison for a home invasion. I took the rap for a guy because I wouldn't snitch on him, and through the grace of God, I never got found out.''

Now I'm not an expert on prison life, even though I do watch "Arrested Development," but isn't a home invasion a form of thievery? In essence a home invasion is a way to commit thievery. You can see I would never last in prison because I require confirmation of the certain categories each crime that receives zero tolerance would fall under. Brilliant move by Banks by the way. Going from being seen by his fellow inmates as a molester to actually gaining some sympathy for not being a snitch. We all know snitches get stitches, so not snitching is viewed positively in the American prison system.

"There are a lot of role models. There just aren't a lot of good ones."

-- Tim Tebow, speaking to a Father's Day crowd at Qualcomm Stadium Sunday, according to U-T San Diego, on the state of sporting role models today.

There are a lot of quarterbacks. There just aren't a lot of good ones. Whoops, I got that wrong. I meant, there are a lot of punt protectors. There just aren't a lot of good ones.

"Yes, we thought that he would clear. It's rare but it's not the first time something like that has happened. It's disappointing for us that we didn't get him back. He did a tremendous job for us and we hope he gets well soon and that he can finish his career, whether it's with New England or whatever team he ends up with. It was disappointing, but that does happen, every blue moon ... I could explain it, but I don't want to explain it because it's really irrelevant at this point ... It's really pointless for me at this point to try explain it to people ... It's rare that somebody takes a guy under these conditions off the waiver wire, but it happened and we wish Jake all the best.''

-- Giants GM Jerry Reese, to Sirius/XM NFL Radio, on losing tight end Jake Ballard by exposing him to waivers because the team didn't expect him to play this year. Ballard is recovering from knee surgery. But the New England Patriots claimed him.

Jerry Reese typically does a great job as a GM, but this move made me shake my head. I heard a lot about how the Giants thought highly of Jake Ballard and saw something in him as a pass catcher after spending most of his career at Ohio State as a blocker...then they go out and expose him to waivers when it seemed they were completely intent on having him on the roster. I didn't get the move and I am not surprised a team picked up Ballard.

Three thoughts:

Peter then lists four thoughts on the topic. NFL Insidering? Peter is good with that. Counting? He's still a bit of a work in progress.

And if New England signs Ballard for the third-year tender price of $640,000, that means it will have paid $1.17 million, total, for 2012 and 2013 to employ a good tight end in the hope he can help next season. Maybe he can't. But the gamble seems worth it for a guy who made so many big catches for the Giants in the last two months of the season last year.

I would agree with this. I'm not sure the lesson to be learned regarding this, other than don't try to sneak players you want to keep across waivers, but I am a little surprised another team didn't put a claim in for Ballard. Sure, he's injured this year. If he comes back healthy then I think he'll be worth the $1.2 million spent to keep him on the roster. Ballard did have 600 yards receiving last year.

I don't understand the unwritten rule anyway. So an NFL team shouldn't sign a player that another NFL team wants to sneak through waivers? Is that the unwritten rule? I had never heard of this rule.

It's hard to fathom, unless you're there, the level of enmity the fine people of Seattle have for the departed Sonics-turned-Thunder.

I don't think you have to be in Seattle to see this level of anger they have towards the Thunder. You could simply be on Twitter and notice how it seems like pretty much anyone who was a Sonics fan doesn't like the Thunder and is cheering for the Heat. So I don't feel like I have to be in Seattle to understand the anger towards the Thunder.

Seattle, in fact, might be rooting harder in this series for the Heat than the denizens of Miami. Amazing to hear the anger the city still feels over losing the basketball team to Oklahoma City.

They lost their NBA franchise to another city. That has to sting. I don't think Peter would find the level of enmity in Newark amazing if the New Jersey Devils moved to Minnesota, Ohio or another city across the United States. Of course the Devils would NEVER leave New Jersey, so the idea of this happening just laughable, but if this did occur I'm sure Peter wouldn't find Seattle's anger so amazing.

"Why baseball doesn't have instant replay for plays at the plate is beyond me. It's a scoring play. It takes two minutes. Just use it."

-- @richeisen, the NFL Network host, presumably after watching a bad call at home late in the 3-3 Yankees-Nationals game Saturday, extending the game from what should have been a nine-inning game to what became a 14-inning game. Say it, Rich.

Baseball doesn't have replay because we certainly wouldn't want the umpires to think their calls are being second-guessed or are subject to some sort of review. The illusion of perfection is what keeps the entire institution of umpiring alive at the major league level.

3. I think these one-day contracts to retire as a member of some organization -- as Tomlinson is doing today in San Diego -- are just silly. Who cares where you retire? Now Chris Chambers wants to retire as a Dolphin. Why? Who cares?

Apparently the player who signs the one-day contract cares. Nobody cares if two kids spend an entire train ride laughing at something on their phones and nobody cares if the coffee you tasted this week had a nutty taste to it, yet we get to hear those tidbits from Peter on a weekly basis. If Chris Chambers wants to end his NFL career as a Dolphin, let him do it. It harms no one. Honestly, this is the only award Chris Chambers will probably get in his career and if the Dolphins are open to it, I mean, who says "no" to this?

4. I think you'll all be relieved to know the Arena Football League has reached a deal with its union to finish this season without interruption. I suppose.

Yes, please mock Arena League Football. Any type of lockout in the AFL isn't as important as a lockout in the NFL, especially since the AFL players actually rely on that income to feed their families as opposed to using the income to buy worthless shit that only serves the purpose to show how wealthy they are.

I don't think Peter is a bad guy, but small little comments like this can come off as elitist...at least to me.

5. I think if your fantasy draft is tomorrow, you'd be smart to pick Isaac Redman ahead of Rashard Mendenhall, who is not ready to play football because of offseason knee surgery and should miss at least the first six games of the season.

I think Peter hates Rashard Mendenhall. First, he stated a year ago that Mendenhall would have carries taken away by Tiki Barber if Barber signed with the Steelers and now he is saying Redman (who didn't do much when given the chance last year) is a better pick than Mendenhall in a fantasy draft, even if Mendenhall is able to play in 10 games next year. Why do you hate Rashard Mendenhall, Peter?

6. I think the Browns should hang onto Colt McCoy. I do like Brandon Weeden, but how sure a thing is he? And if he plays poorly over the next two years, you're happier with Seneca Wallace than Colt McCoy? I'm not.

On the other hand, Peter King loves himself some Colt McCoy. If Weeden plays poorly over the next two years I am not necessarily happy with McCoy, Wallace or Weeden if I am a Browns fan.

7. I think if I'm Andy Reid or Mike McCarthy, I'm calling Cleveland GM Tom Heckert and sending a 2013 sixth-rounder to Cleveland for McCoy.

If I'm the Browns I'm not giving up McCoy for a 6th round pick and leave the Browns QB job to a rookie or Seneca Wallace. What if the Browns don't accept this trade of McCoy for a sixth-rounder? I guess the Browns wouldn't have the option of rejecting this trade.

Take out the tape of his game at Pittsburgh last season, before he got blasted by James Harrison, and tell me he doesn't have the poise, decision-making and presence to have a chance to be a good player.

I'm going to do that Peter!

(Bengoodfella looks for the game tape of McCoy's performance against the Steelers and then realizes he doesn't have game tape of this game and he hates it when Peter King does the whole, "Go ask Person X if you don't believe me" when his readers don't have access to speak to this person.)

g. LeBron in his last 13 games: 32.6 points per game, 10.9 rebounds. Heat 9-4.

h. I mean, it's fine to hate a guy, and to boo him. But to not acknowledge James' greatness is downright foolish.

This coming from a guy who admits he barely watches NBA games. Obviously Peter is someone we should listen to intently on this subject.

l. I'm a fan of fellow Ohio U. Bobcat Thom Brennaman, and I have great fondness for his dad, Marty, one of the best baseball play-by-play men on the radio ever. (I listened to Marty for five years while living in Cincinnati, and he's one of the great ones -- most of you just don't know him.)

I was watching the Mets and Reds Saturday night when Thom uttered these words about red-hot Joey Votto: "Over the last month, he has been virtually impossible to get out.''

The lesson we will learn here? Don't use hyperbole around Peter King...unless you are Peter King of course. Here's what he wrote directly above this Thom Brennaman criticism for item "K" that he thinks:

k. Someone hire exiled San Diego columnist Tim Sullivan, please. You'll be ecstatic you did.

Yeah, there is no hyperbole in that statement. Back to Peter's dissecting Brennaman's Joey Votto comment.

Very hard, maybe. But virtually impossible? In the previous month, between May 15 and June 15, Votto reached base 62 times. He made 60 outs. That's scorching hot for a baseball player. But he was retired half the time, and reached base half the time.

In terms of using hyperbole, Votto was virtually impossible to get out. It's clear Brennaman was using hyperbole. I hate hyperbole, but Brennaman was using it to prove a larger point about how hot Votto had been. Damn, and I thought I nitpicked too much.

Virtually impossible to retire Votto would have meant reaching base, say, 110 times and making 12 outs.

Reaching base 109 times and making 13 outs does not qualify as being "virtually impossible" to get out! The minimal limit to reach this threshold is reaching base 110 times and making 12 outs. Otherwise, don't bring that weak hyperbole into Peter's world.

That's never going to happen, obviously. I just felt Thom could have chosen his words better.

I know. Let's make more fun of the Arena Football League lockout!

s. So happy so many of you wrote and tweeted that you'd be picking up That's Why I'm Here, the Chris Spielman book I wrote about last week. You won't regret it.

What if I buy the book and then realize I don't have enough gas to get to work the next day and can't afford to buy enough gas to make it to work, so I have to take the bus? I would rue the day I purchased this book. You can't say I won't regret buying this book. Poor choice of words, Peter.

t. Coffeenerdness: Come to New York, Peet's. Come on. You know you'll kick tail here.

While Peet's literally kick tail, like actually kick an animal in the butt? If not, you could have used a better choice of words here, Peter!

For the next four Mondays, as I've done the last few summers, you'll have my pinch-hitters.

Are they real pinch-hitters, like in baseball? Otherwise, poor choice of words.

Here comes the big reveal! Will it be Sean Payton again? Nnamdi Asomugha? Maybe he will explain how he is worth $18 million per year.

For the three weeks after that the MMQB guest columnists will be, in order, Indianapolis rookie tight end Coby Fleener,

Fleener massaged Peter's ego by doing a paper on Peter while Fleener was a Stanford, so naturally Peter rewards him by letting him be a guest columnist in MMQB.

Washington general manager and football history nerd Bruce Allen on July 9;

Maybe he will tell us about the art of overpaying for free agents. He is an expert on this topic of course and showed it again this summer with the signings of Pierre Garcon and Josh Morgan. He gave these two receivers $57 million and at least $21.5 million guaranteed (That's only Garcon. I don't know how much of Morgan's contract was guaranteed). He's a football nerd and loves to overpay free agents.

and Tampa Bay Buccaneers free agent defensive tackle Eric LeGrand on July 16.

I will look forward to that one.

I hope you're looking forward to reading them as much as I'm anticipating what they write.

Peter, just come back with some great stories about how being around normal Americans has driven you crazy. That's all I ask.