MMQB Review: Peter King the Conversationalist Edition

Last week in MMQB, Peter King told us that with Robert Griffin all things are possible. This doesn't seem so true this week after the Redskins lost to the Steelers. It seems Griffin couldn't make his receivers catch the football. Between God helping the Colts beat the Packers and all things being possible with Robert Griffin, there has been a lot of religious imagery in MMQB lately. Peter also criticized those who contribute to LiveStrong, mostly because he feels like he can stand in judgment of everyone else while staying in his little bubble where everything he does or says should be as free of judgment as possible. Only Peter King wouldn't keep his criticisms of people donating towards a good cause private. Peter also was surprised at the smut AOL shows on their home page, while also blissfully ignoring he works for a magazine that puts out the swimsuit issue every year (which isn't smut, but definitely shows more skin than any link on the AOL home page would show). This week Peter talks playmakers, pleads for more time for Mike Vick, and then tells us ten things he thinks he thinks, even though his entire MMQB essentially is what he thinks.

"Just landed. Thank you God''

-- Tweet from New York Giants defensive end Justin Tuck at 1:13 a.m. today, six minutes after the team charter from Texas just beat Hurricane Sandy up the East Coast.

Robert Griffin says, "You're welcome. With me, all things are possible."

Wow. Time to cower in the corner (and I don't mean Bill).

(Throws heavy fruit at Peter in anger)

Peyton Manning has been ascending as his surgically repaired neck improves daily, weekly, monthly; Sunday night's 34-14 rout of the Saints was another Manning-frozen-in-time game (73 percent passing, 309 yards, three touchdowns, no picks), and as he told me last week: "The whole goal was try to get better every week, even if only a little bit better every week. And I knew all along the nerve would take a long time, and you couldn't rush it. It'll be a tad better in two weeks, then a tad better two weeks after that. On game day, I get a little juice and feel pretty good.''

Oh sure, Peyton Manning openly admits to using steroids, or "juicing" as the kids like to say, and no one seems to care about it. It's bad enough he has a bionic neck, allowing him to sense heat patterns of defenders and rotate his neck in a full 360 degree circle, but now he spits in the face of the NFL drug policy and no one cares. What can't this man get away with?

2. Reid's got to give Vick one more week.

Except Andy Reid didn't give Vick one more week (or did he? I keep reading conflicting stories). Reid is in full "gotta keep my job" mode, which means he needs to make changes now to stop the Eagles from losing games. I don't think Nick Foles is ready to start for the Eagles, but Andy Reid has to keep his job and win games. He's not winning games with Vick, so he made a change. While not an unselfish move on Reid's part, the Eagles can now see what they have in Nick Foles for next season.

But I look at a couple of things with the Eagles' offense right now. One: Vick's been pretty accurate over the past month: four straight games of 60 percent completions or better. 

Except he is a turnover machine. He didn't commit any turnovers this past week and the Eagles still lost, but Vick turns the ball over at an alarming pace. So this tends to overshadow his completion percentage.

Two: LeSean McCoy has had three straight poor games -- 53, 22 and 45 rushing yards -- with 15.3 carries a game. He's just got to get the ball more.

I don't know, 15 carries per game isn't a lot, but it also isn't a small amount. At 15 carries per game McCoy needs to put up better yardage numbers than he is currently putting up over the last three games.

The Saints have allowed more yards over the first seven games of an NFL than any team ever has. This is the kind of game made to give a struggling team confidence. And Reid has invested so much time and effort in Vick -- who didn't turn it over once Sunday in the loss to Atlanta -- that to yank him now Reid would have to have an inordinate amount of trust in rookie Nick Foles to win big. I think there are too many signs that Vick and McCoy could bust out in New Orleans for Reid to yank Vick now.

What's the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result? I don't think Nick Foles is the answer and I probably wouldn't start him at quarterback. Having said that, at least I'll give Reid points for being so desperate he doesn't trot the same players every single week and he is at least trying to save his job.

I don't get how Peter thinks Vick and McCoy could bust out this week. Sure, they could, but if anything they are both trending towards "no change" or "downward." I'm just throwing this out there if Andy Reid wants to think about it. I know a guy who can save his season. Jimmy Clausen. He can be had for the low introductory price of a 6th rounder.

3. A big day for a small corner. Of all the defenses in football, none plays offense like Chicago's. The Bears scored their sixth defensive touchdown of the season Sunday. The Bears' savvy 5-foot-8 corner, Tim Jennings, picked off Cam Newton twice in a 23-22 win, returning one for a touchdown that doomed Carolina. "This is what I always thought Tim would be,'' Tony Dungy said Sunday night at the NBC studios. "He's matured a lot, and he fits perfectly in that defense.''

By the way, Tim Jennings was on Steve Smith all day and Smith caught seven passes for 118 yards and barely missed a touchdown grab. So while Peter is giving Jennings kudos, Smith pretty much used him all day. It just so happens one pass not directed for Smith was intercepted by Jennings and one pass was intercepted by Jennings when Smith fell. Jennings played well enough, but he didn't exactly do a great job on Smith, who is the receiver Jennings was matched up with for most of the day.

He caught a lucky break when Steve Smith fell midway through the fourth quarter and he was able to dart into the open space, pick off Newton and run for a touchdown. Earlier, he had a perfectly timed diving interception on an attempted throwaway by Newton, a poor decision by the quarterback.

Like I said, he made one good play and the rest of the day he was pretty much average.

5. The play of the day ... maybe the year. Vick Ballard was a lightly regarded mid- to-late-round prospect from Mississippi State, a 219-pound bruiser thought to be a better runner between the tackles than outside of them.

He's from Mississippi? Why didn't Peter King call Brett Favre to get his opinion of Ballard? There has been half of a page of MMQB and we haven't had a Brett Favre mention yet. Rectify this, Peter!

"I knew I was going to dive for the pylon,'' Ballard said as the Colts waited to take off from Nashville for Indianapolis after the game. "I did it twice in college and didn't make it. Once, I fumbled through the end zone. The other time, I got stopped at the inch-yard line.'' Huh? The inch-yard line? 

Yeah Peter, the inch-yard line. Have you never heard this phrase before? This would be a ball that is right near the goal line and almost in the end zone. Sometimes Peter has the interviewing skills of a 11 year old girl who is interviewing a member of One Direction. Peter seems in awe of what the other person is saying, as if that person is saying the most interesting and revelatory statements Peter has ever heard.

Not saying a man whose team was 9-29 in the last 2.5 years doesn't deserve to have his job jeopardized, even though the timing for firing GM Marty Hurney in Carolina was ridiculous. What good does it do to fire a GM in the middle of a season?

I wrote a post defending Marty Hurney from Bill Barnwell a few weeks ago where I called Hurney an average General Manager. Average just wasn't going to cut it anymore. So Peter is telling me he doesn't know why a General Manager who has never had a back-to-back winning seasons and is 9-29 since 2010 got fired? Really? My question is, why not fire him midseason? Why wait until after the season if Hurney is going to be fired anyway?

The real reason Peter is defending Hurney is because Hurney was a beat reporter before taking a job with the Redskins and then joining the Panthers. Peter is just looking out for a fellow sportswriter.

Don't tell me, though, that Hurney left the cupboard bare. His sixth-round pick in 2010, defensive end Greg Hardy, had three sacks of Jay Cutler Sunday.

After having done nothing the rest of this year, being benched for a rookie against Dallas and being pulled from practice on Thursday for not giving enough effort. Good try though, Peter. Hardy hasn't been great this year at all.

His big 2011 free-agent keeper, Charles Johnson, Hurney's third-rounder in 2007, had two sacks of Cutler with two forced fumbles.

This is another if not good, but necessary, signing. These are also two players who played well in a game the Panthers lost, but aren't enough to save his job. Hurney also has never had back-to-back winning seasons as a General Manager and hired Ron Rivera, who will be fired after this year as well.

I know the way the business works, and I know Hurney deserves to be under the gun, and I know Cam Newton now is not a sure long-term thing in Carolina, and Hurney wanted Newton as his franchise quarterback.

Against Peter's wishes, I'm pretty sure Cam is staying in Carolina for another couple of years. Hurney is gone and I would bet $1000 Newton stays in Carolina for another two years minimum.

I'm just saying nothing is ever totally black and white in this game, and Hurney's record should include it all: the questionable free agent spending, the unlikely Super Bowl run in 2003, the three playoff berths in 10 seasons, the inability to get Carolina out of a losing funk over the past four seasons.

So he was an average GM playing for a 78 year old owner who had major heart surgery a few years ago and fired his last head coach because he strives for consistent winning in the team he owns? This consistent winning wasn't happening. What's to figure out or question?

1. Houston (6-1). J.J. Watt had neither a sack nor a deflected pass over the weekend. 

 What? What a terrible weeke---

Of course, the Texans didn't have a game.

Oh Peter, you little devil! You got me. I thought something was really wrong when your Defensive Player Pin-Up of the Year didn't have a deflected pass or a sack.

4. Chicago (6-1). Bears 23, Panthers 22 at Soldier Field Sunday. Another margin of one here: Bears six interceptions returned for touchdowns this year, Cam Newton five touchdown passes this year.

This is the second of Cam Newton bashing statements in this MMQB. Peter King does not like him some Cam Newton at all. It's probably just for the better. After all, Newton has played 23 total games in the NFL and Peter already knows he isn't the long-term answer. You will see throughout this column the passive-aggressive criticism of Newton by Peter.

Tony Romo threw four interceptions and Peter has nowhere near the passive-aggressive criticism for him that he gives towards Newton. Not that Romo deserves the criticism because the interceptions weren't all his fault, but it seems Peter will pick and choose when to criticize a receiver or a quarterback for an interception as it fits his agenda.

7. New England (5-3). After the best end-zone celebration of the season (by far), the one with Rob Gronkowski looking very much like a Buckingham Palace guard, Gronk was asked what his touchdown celebration was, exactly. He said: "That little nutcracker dude who's guarding the house."

He's so quirky and precocious! I just need to hear more Gronk stories. I bet Peter just wants to wrap Gronk up with J.J. Watt in the same sleeping bag and just tickle them to death.

13. Seattle (4-4). If I were Seattle GM John Schneider, I'd call Chiefs GM Scott Pioli, and ask if there's any way he'd dump Dwayne Bowe for a fourth-round pick. And if he would, which I doubt, I'd be a buyer. 

I'd use those exact words too. "Is there any way you'd dump Dwayne Bowe for a fourth round pick?" That'll surely sweet talk Pioli into making the deal.

The Award Section

Jason Witten, TE, Dallas. Witten looked crushed after the Giants' 29-24 win over Dallas Sunday, even though he set the franchise record for receptions in a game -- 18, amazingly, including 13 in the second half -- for a total of 167 yards. Everyone in the park knew where Tony Romo was going with the ball,

To the Giants defensive players? I'm kidding Cowboys fans. I give Romo credit for leading the Cowboys back.

Special Teams Player of the Week

Justin Medlock, K, Carolina. On a typical late October day in Chicago -- chilly, winds gusting up to 25 mph -- first-year kicker Medlock, from UCLA, kicked four field goals in the first three quarters to give Carolina a 19-7 lead. When Cam Newton gave the lead back,

"When Cam Newton gave the lead back." This is an incredibly misleading statement. The Bears drove the ball down the field to cut the Carolina lead to 19-14 and then on the very next possession with Steve Smith running a timing route, Smith fell running his route after Newton threw the ball and the ball went right into Tim Jennings hands for a pick-six. Cam Newton "gave the lead back" in the same way Peter's boy Peyton Manning gave the Saints a Super Bowl victory. It's incredibly misleading to those who didn't watch the game and while I really don't like harping on this, it's clear that Peter King does not like Newton and it shows in his tween-like passive aggressive criticisms of Newton.

Peter places the blame on Newton for "giving the lead back." Newton wouldn't have had to give the lead back if Steve Smith had not just missed catching a touchdown pass that Newton threw. Peter doesn't mention that nor does he mention Newton led Carolina down the field to take the lead BACK from Chicago after this interception. Peter fails to mention this of course because it doesn't fit his narrative nor his agenda when talking about Newton. Newton isn't a great quarterback and he is over-hyped, but to place blame on him for every little thing that goes wrong for Carolina is disingenuous at best.

Goats of the Week

The Washington receivers. Nine drops. Nine! A disgraceful performance in Pittsburgh.

I read 10 drops. Either way, the Redskins receivers played very poorly and the Redskins loss isn't Robert Griffin's fault at all. 

Bradley Fletcher, CB, St. Louis. As if Tom Brady needs help, Fletcher got whistled three times for pass interference in a 45-7 loss to the Patriots -- and every one was on third down, meaning that three times he gave the Patriots new life.

That's horrendous, but can we really blame Bradley Fletcher for the Rams losing by 38 points? He is a "goat" for this?

Robert Meachem, WR, San Diego. With the Chargers sleepwalking their way through a dismal performance at Cleveland, Meacham broke into the clear and turned for a Philip Rivers pass, thrown perfectly over Cleveland coverage. Meacham dropped it. He blew a clear touchdown. Cleveland beat the Chargers 7-6.

So this loss was mostly Meacham's fault? Back to harping on Peter picking and choosing when to blame a quarterback or receiver to fit his narrative: How about Steve Smith missing a touchdown pass that would have won the game for Carolina or falling down causing a pick-six? Either play easily can be seen as having cost Carolina the game against the Bears. Peter blames the receivers when it is convenient, but a quarterback blows the lead when Peter has a different point to prove.

The Deep End

Each week, thanks to play-by-play game dissection by ProFootballFocus.com, I'll look at one important matchup or individual performance metric from one of the Sunday games.

Sure, let's look at a player from this past Sunday's game. I wonder which player that played this past Sunday that Peter takes a look at?

This week, I wanted to take a look at the first half of Houston defensive end J.J. Watt's season. He's been the best defensive player in the league so far, and so I had ProFootballFocus.com analyze where the 23-year-old versatile run-stuffer and pass-defender has lined up, and what alignments his plays have been made from.

So Peter goes with a player who was on a bye this week. Then to make it worse, he talks (again) about J.J. Watt, who is Peter's Defensive Player Pin-Up of the Year. In high school, if a person talks about another person this much, then people start wondering. I'm starting to wonder.

I don't want to spoil things, but J.J. Watt has been great this year. The metrics that ProFootballFocus.com looked at confirm this. Unfortunately, this may only increase the wattage (see what I did?) of Peter's love for Watt.

I was deep in coach, in a middle seat. (The only way to fly! A middle seat for five hours and 15 minutes!) The 50ish woman seated to my left got increasingly frustrated with her iPad, sighing heavily, until finally she said, "Damn daughter!" and took the iPad and hit herself on the scalp with it. I clanked over, wondering if I was to feel the wrath of the iPad-abuser next, and she said, "My daughter must have erased this app I need! I can't figure the damn thing out!'' I told her I was sorry, and asked her what she did for a living.

"I'm in sales,'' she said. "On the way to San Francisco for a sales conference."

"Oh,'' I said. "What do you sell?''

"Well, various things,'' she said.

Well, all right then. We flew the rest of the way in crammed, painful quietude.

How dare this lady not want to talk to the stranger in the seat beside her! She was clearly frustrated and probably not in the mood to be interviewed, but that shouldn't matter when given the chance to speak to the great Peter King. Next time Peter King is on the Acela trying to do a phone interview or some work I wish someone would saddle up to him and start talking to him. Let's see how he likes it.

I rarely speak to people on planes and if someone is clearly having a bad day and doesn't care to elaborate on their job description then I wouldn't include this brief conversation in my weekly NFL column as if this lady had some sort of obligation to answer Peter's questions in a more elaborate manner.

1. I think this is what I liked about Week 1:

g. Chandler Jones is one impressive rookie rusher. He had a 17-yard sack of Sam Bradford.

That is impressive. Is there anything else Peter would like to add to his statement that Jones is an impressive rookie pass rusher or is this supposed to be our only required evidence of this statement? I'm not saying Chandler Jones isn't impressive, but is Peter basing this statement on this sack or Jones' entire resume as a rookie?

k. Richie Incognito, the mauling Miami guard, graded out like a road-grader against the Jets.

You know Peter wanted to say Richie Incognito wasn't "incognito" against the Jets.

2. I think this is what I didn't like about Week 8:

g. Philip Rivers isn't getting much help, obviously, but a few of his throws in Cleveland were way too far off target for a man with his resume.

Rivers' resume...and what is that resume again? He's been a very good quarterback in his career and has a 3-4 career playoff record. Much like Peter said about Andrew Luck after he didn't throw one pass well in a game a few weeks ago, I guess we can put Rivers' Hall of Fame canonization on hold because he played poorly during one game.

l. Rex Ryan's confidence. Gone. Vanquished. Sanchized.

Tebowlotomized.

4. I think Cam Newton did something at the end of the first half in Chicago that really bugged me. From the Chicago 33, the Panthers called a Hail Mary with three seconds left. Newton threw it way over the end line. Either he wanted someone in the stands to have a souvenir, or he didn't want to risk another interception on his stat sheet. I'm guessing the latter, and I don't like it.

So Peter King is accusing Newton of overthrowing the end zone in order to not get an interception on his stat sheet, despite having absolutely zero proof this is the case. Tony Romo's last pass on fourth down Sunday night went out of the back of the end zone as well. Was he trying to ensure he didn't have his fifth interception? Why doesn't Peter accuse him of this?

More importantly, what proof does Peter have that Newton gives a shit about his stat sheet and another interception being on it? Newton overthrew the end zone and why would Peter guess the worst unless he absolutely wanted to believe the worst? He's unbelievable (Peter, not Newton. Newton's football skills are pretty believable in their averageness). Peter wants to view Newton's actions in a way that reinforces his prior belief. So while he has no proof Newton did throw the ball out of the back of the end zone intentionally, he thinks that is something Newton would do based on his preconceived notions about him.

This play didn't even matter. Ron Rivera should have had Peter's Special Teams Player of the Week (Justin Medlock) come out and try a 51 yard field goal with three seconds left instead of throwing a Hail Mary anyway.

b. San Francisco: best walking city in America.

Put up the plaque San Francisco! You've been named "best walking city" by the honorable Peter King.

g. I need to see Argo.

Then do. Just don't keep us informed, that's all I ask.

The Adieu Haiku

Hey, Jim Cantore!
Tell 'em from D.C. to Maine:
Respect Sandy's wrath.

Isn't that only four syllables in the first line? Maybe I'm not good at counting. If you are going to lower yourself to doing a haiku, you may as well do it correctly, no?