Someone Please Make Gregg Easterbrook Stop Writing TMQ

Gregg Easterbrook mocked mock drafts last week in TMQ. It wasn't especially funny, creative or interesting to read, but he did infuriate me as he is prone to do when he is discussing television shows and misleading his readers. This week Gregg celebrates Eric Fisher, the #1 overall draft pick for 2013, who is not a highly-paid glory boy because he comes from a small college. I guess coming from a small college excludes Fisher from being a highly-paid glory boy and Gregg sees him as the Everyman...as long as the Everyman is someone who weighs 300 pounds, is 6'7" tall, is a millionaire and has exceptional football skills. Really, doesn't that describe nearly all of us?

Thursday, Eric Fisher of Central Michigan became the third first-round NFL draft pick in recent years from below the testosterone-pumped level of the BCS conferences, joining David Carr of Fresno State in 2002 and Alex Smith of Utah in 2005.

What do David Carr and Alex Smith have in common? Neither of them have shown they can be franchise quarterbacks. As always, Gregg leaves that part out when discussing #1 draft picks from non-BCS conferences. He takes great pride in pointing out which players drafted #1 overall aren't from a BCS conferences, but fails to point out how these players performed once reaching the NFL. There is a reason for this.

Fisher, who grew up in Michigan, went to Central Michigan because neither of the state's big-deal football programs, the University of Michigan and Michigan State, wanted him. So take that, Wolverines and Spartans!

I bet they feel bad they didn't get Eric Fisher. It's so hard for them to recruit, I know Michigan will regret recruiting Taylor Lewan over Eric Fisher. Lewan is such a bum at left tackle and all.

Coming out of high school, ratings services said he was no good. Fisher is the classic Everyman, making it entirely on his own. 

This is as opposed to Luke Joeckel who never had to work hard and had everything handed to him? Joeckel didn't even practice in college, he just got handed a spot in the NFL Draft lottery. How about Lane Johnson who switched positions in college and then got drafted in the first round? Was everything handed to him simply because he went to the University of Oklahoma?

When Fisher was a high school senior, ESPN Recruiting Nation graded him as "not rated," which means scouts thought he was inconsequential. Rivals gave Fisher two stars, in a system where five is hot stuff and two is generic, given to mid-major prospects.

Gregg is too stupid or too deceptive to point this out, but do you notice something funny about Eric Fisher's ranking coming out of high school? Click the link and look again. He was unranked as a DEFENSIVE END. He wasn't even an offensive lineman coming out of high school. So it turns out he was inconsequential as an defensive end because the Central Michigan coaching staff moved him to offensive line from the defensive line. Gregg won't mention Fisher wasn't ranked or recruited as an offensive lineman because that would ruin whatever point he is trying to prove through not providing his readers with the sufficient amount of information to determine whether is point is valid or not.

(The English language begins crying after that last sentence)

Roughly half those lauded in Fisher's senior year by either recruiting service so far have either done very well in football or were sidelined by severe injuries, meaning we'll ever know. 

But almost as many were busts, got in trouble with the law or didn't start for their own college. Dee Finley, Stephen Good, Tyler Love, Enrique Davis, Simi Kuli, Raven Gray, Ray Ray Armstrong, Craig Loston, Jermie Calhoun -- these and others received top billing from recruiting services, and were subjects of recruiting wars by big-college programs, at the same time Fisher was being ignored in his own backyard.

So Gregg is telling us that recruiting services aren't 100% accurate? Thank God TMQ is around to provide us with obvious information like this. Notice Gregg wrote "almost as many" were busts, which means there were more players who got injured or did well at the top of those recruiting services rankings than those that busted. Again, Gregg is taking the exception and trying to make it the rule of thumb that recruiting services aren't perfect...which is something we already knew.

If there were recruiting websites for the most promising high school seniors aiming for med school, years later half the names would have vanished while some total unknowns came on strong. The fact that prospect ratings services often err isn't a surprise -- the draft itself often errs. 

And yet Gregg is acting like it is a big shock that the high school football recruiting services weren't 100% accurate. What's the point of this exercise then? The #1 overall pick in the 2013 NFL Draft wasn't highly recruited. Gregg says these services miss on players at times, so why is Fisher's draft status even that notable when there are highly recruited players taken right behind him in the 2013 draft? Clearly recruiting services aren't perfect, but there were highly recruited players who were drafted early in the first round.

Don't let anyone else define you -- all that matters is how you define yourself. The Experts said Eric Fisher wasn't good.

The experts also said that Eric Fisher was a defensive end out of high school, which he was.

The top of the draft told that story. The sole quarterback taken in Round 1, EJ Manuel, seems a long shot for the NFL, but was the well-known quarterback most familiar with zone-read tactics.

E.J. Manuel was the well-known quarterback most familiar with zone-read tactics unless you want to count Mike Scott. Scott consistently ran variations of the zone-read in college while Manuel didn't do as much of it at Florida State as Scott did at Arizona.

Also, why is E.J. Manuel a longshot for the NFL again? I'm confused as to the basis for Gregg making this statement.

Three of the first six players chosen -- Dion Jordan by Miami, Ezekiel Ansah by Detroit and Barkevious Mingo by Cleveland -- are lean, rangy edge rushers.

Ezekiel Ansah weighs 271 pounds. I guess the definition of "lean" is relative. If you remember in the past Gregg has bitched that high school offensive linemen are too fat and coaches should encourage their players to lose weight, yet here Gregg calls a 271 pound man "lean."

And the preponderance of offensive linemen in Round 1, coupled to the absence of running backs, is in its way an indicator of the fad. Watch a quick-paced zone-read attack -- the Skins of 2012 or the Oregon Ducks' blur offense. These tactics depend on fabulous blocking: the left tackle is more important than the tailback.

Gregg's stupidity knows no bounds. I bet he can't name the left tackle for the Oregon Ducks. Yes, blocking is incredibly important in fast-paced offenses, but a running back who is well-conditioned and can hit the hole quickly is equally as important.

Blocking matters in any kind of football. 

Where else but TMQ can you find nuggets of such great intelligent content?

The Wildcat seemed unstoppable for a while.

One year is how long the Wildcat seemed unstoppable, if that long.

By the end of the 2013 season, zone-read attacks may be stalled, while classic pocket passers shred college-flavored defenses. A few years down the road, Matt Barkley is more likely to be in the Pro Bowl than EJ Manuel. 

So because E.J. Manuel can run the zone-read he is less likely to be a success in the NFL than Matt Barkley? I'm not sure Gregg has watched a single Florida State football game in the last two years. Manuel can throw the football from the pocket or run with the ball. Simply because the zone-read may be a fad doesn't mean EJ Manuel isn't likely to succeed in the NFL as compared to a pocket-based quarterback like Barkley. It's not like Matt Barkley is suddenly going to become a better quarterback because defenses have caught on with a way to defend the zone-read.

Here's the Tuesday Morning Quarterback draft analysis:

Here's my opinion of the Tuesday Morning Quarterback draft analysis.

Atlanta: It's easy to forget that this team finished 14-4 and came within a few snaps of the Super Bowl. In the draft, the Falcons restocked at corner and added a 6-foot-8 tight end to one of the league's best passing offenses. 

The 6-foot-8 tight end came from a football factory and is a bit of a project. He's not Jimmy Graham quite yet, so Gregg should take a deep breath or two before getting too excited. 

Buffalo: The Bills used a third-round pick on Marquise Goodwin, fastest man at the combine -- he ran a 4.3, excuse me, a 4.27. 

Because there IS a difference in a 4.3 and 4.27 40-yard dash. If the time wasn't rounded to the hundredth of a decimal point then there would be a couple of players who ran a 4.3 40-yard dash at the Combine.

Complication: Goodwin was never a full-time starter in college, recording just 26 receptions as a senior. So he's a track star but his own college coaches thought he couldn't play. Why will that change in the pros? In 1992, the Jets used a first-round choice on tight end Johnny Mitchell, who was incredibly fast but did not start in college. You fill in the rest.

Jimmy Graham didn't play very much in college, Antonio Gates didn't play college football at all, Trindon Holliday didn't play very much at LSU, and Ryan Tannehill played receiver for half of his college career. The one example of Johnny Mitchell not playing well after not starting often in college doesn't mean Goodwin will be a bust. This is typical Gregg Easterbrook though. He uses one example to prove his point, but ignores other examples that contradict his point.

Carolina: Can you name anyone who plays defensive line for the Panthers? Neither can most others who follow football.

Regardless of whether anyone can name a defensive lineman for Carolina, this doesn't mean they don't have two good defensive linemen. Carolina had two defensive ends with 10+ sacks last year, so they didn't have terrible defensive ends.

The Cats paid a huge amount last season to defensive end Charles Johnson, but he played for sack stats and was often burned by draws and screens. 

This is a lie. It's an outright lie. Charles Johnson didn't play for sack stats and he wasn't burned often by draws and screens. I don't get how ESPN allows Gregg to lie, but they seem to allow him to do so on a weekly basis in TMQ. Johnson did have 12.5 sacks last year (which is apparently a bad thing), but he also caused 7 fumbles (second in the NFL), and had 41 tackles. He didn't play for just sacks.

Dallas: The Cowboys traded down, then used their first-round choice on a guy who draft guru Mike Mayock saw as a third-round fellow. Of course draft gurus are often wrong -- last year Mayock did not have Russell Wilson in his top 100. 

Mayock also has Eric Fisher, the guy who is Gregg Easterbrook's new idol, as the top player on his board. Maybe Fisher won't be very good in the NFL and Gregg won't be able to fawn over him anymore. Draft gurus are often wrong, right?

NFL professionals sometimes complain about Mayock, Mel Kiper and Todd McShay spouting off regarding draft picks, since draftnik opinions are so often wrong. If NFL scouts released as much detail about their opinions as do Kiper, McShay and Mayock, they'd be shown constantly wrong, too. 

These NFL scouts don't have to release their opinion to the public because they are the ones recommending players to be drafted. I don't need to know the Bills' opinion of EJ Manuel. They drafted him and that's good enough for me to form an opinion on what they think about him.

Denver: The Broncos seemed poised for the Super Bowl until their secondary went on strike late in what seemed like a sure playoff win over the Ravens. Yet Denver didn't choose a defensive back 'til the third round.

The Broncos were smart not to overreact to the end of the Ravens game. The Broncos secondary played well during the season and Rahim Moore just mistimed his jump. Maybe the Broncos aren't fine in the secondary, but the reason to draft a corner or safety early isn't due to the end of the AFC Divisional Playoff Game. Plus, John Fox loves playing a soft defense at the end of the game so I think he should get all of the blame. When in doubt, blame the coach...or the Hall of Fame quarterback who threw a key interception in overtime.

Not to mention, the Broncos drafted a defensive tackle in the first round, which can help with the pass rush which helps with the secondary having to cover offensive players for a shorter amount of time. 

And don't look now, but the Broncs offense sputtered in the postseason, averaging just 4.6 yards gained per play, well below the NFL all-teams season average of 5.4.

This may be why the Broncos didn't draft anyone from the secondary in the second round and took Montee Ball (a running back) instead.

Detroit: Defensive end Ezekiel Ansah, fifth overall choice of the draft, came to the United States hoping to play basketball, and did not put on pads for the first time until 2010. He became a starter for BYU in 2012 and played well, but was hardly overpowering -- 4.5 sacks, 35 solo tackles. There's a huge risk here of a one-year wonder. Does the name Aaron Maybin ring a bell? 

No, but Jason Paul-Pierre's name rings a bell. Again, Gregg shouldn't just use the examples that prove his point without acknowledging examples that go against his point. I say he "shouldn't," but Gregg has an agenda and that's why he doesn't bring up Jason Pierre-Paul in this situation as a college one-year wonder who has thrived in the NFL.

Houston: The Texans win games but lack a certain je ne sais pas. That means I don't know what they lack -- and neither, it seems, does Houston management.

I would say the Texans lacked another threat in the passing game and (it sounds stupid, I know) some veteran leadership on the defense. They have veterans already, but I think Ed Reed is really going to help the defense more off the field than on the field. I'm pretty sure the Texans management knew what the team lacked.

Johnny Manziel was at Radio City Music Hall in New York, giving interviews and receiving admiration. Isn't Manziel supposed to be a college student? Texas A&M is in session, yet a "student" at the university is flying around the country discussing football. "I have another year of college football left, that's my main focus," Manziel said on ESPN. Shouldn't Manziel at least pretend to be a student? 

Those of us paying attention know that Johnny Manziel has already stated he is only taking online classes because taking classes and actually being in class is too distracting. The benefit of being in online classes is you don't have to be at the school to be in school, so Manziel can take the classes while he travels all around the country.

That being said, I realize Manziel isn't really a college student and Gregg has a point, but he also doesn't have a point because Manziel could be taking classes while still flying around the country.

Manziel -- surely abetted by his coach and the Aggies' athletic director -- sets the wrong example for the overwhelming majority of NCAA scholarship holders who will never have sports income. 

If any NCAA scholarship holders are looking to Johnny Manziel as their example then they have big problems.

In "Oblivion," the latest Tom Cruise ego vehicle, once again super-advanced aliens have invaded Earth in order to steal our water. 

As TMQ has pointed out, including two years ago, "Water is among the most common substances in the cosmos. The Oort Cloud on the boundary of our solar system contains hundreds of times more water than Earth's oceans. To get water, sinister aliens wouldn't need to stage invasions, much less don uncomfortable latex costumes.

I greatly dislike Tom Cruise and it hurts to even semi-defend him, but this is just a movie that is supposed to be entertaining. Be entertained and don't try to make every science-fiction film a fact-based lesson on space exploration and astronomy.

Jersey/B: Netting the Buccaneers deal and draft-day decisions, the Jets traded Darrelle Revis, one of the league's best players and in his prime, for the No. 13 overall pick (which the Jets used to select defensive tackle Sheldon Richardson) and a conditional mid-round 2014 pick. Richardson is a speculative choice who was only at the big-college level for two years, and there was once suspended. He and a conditional future pick are better than one of the league's top players in his prime?

Gregg doesn't even understand this situation, so I don't want to even waste my finger energy typing up a response to this...but I will. This situation is more complicated than the Jets simply trading away one of the league's top players in his prime. First off, Revis is coming off major knee surgery. Second, Revis had indicated he wanted a new contract and the Jets did not want to give him a new contract. Third, Revis has held out before and could hold out again to get a new contract, so at that point in Training Camp much of the Jets' leverage in the trade market could be gone. It sucks, but the Jets' position gave them no choice but to trade Revis if they weren't going to give him a new contract. They didn't want to give him a new contract and the relationship between Revis and the Jets was deteriorating.

In 2003, the Jets used the fourth pick of the draft on Dewayne Robertson, who like Richardson had great potential but hadn't done much: Robertson became a bust. 

That was a decade ago. How is there a comparison between two defensive tackles drafted by the Jets 10 years ago...other than the fact they are defensive tackles drafted by the Jets? The Jets have also drafted Muhammad Wilkerson and he has worked out really well and he plays on the defensive line, as has Sione Pouha. Why does this entire TMQ consist of Gregg using one set of data to prove his point while intentionally ignoring sets of data that contradict his point?

Unless Richardson becomes a star, the Revis trade will rank as among the NFL's worst ever. 

Or if Revis is never again the same cornerback then the Revis trade will look smart for the Jets. This could happen as well.

Now that organizational dysfunction for the coming season is ensured by the Sanchez-Geno Smith mess, Jersey/B has waived Tebow. He wanted to entertain the crowd and win games -- get that bum outta here!

Tim Tebow sucks at quarterback. There's no getting around this.

Minnesota: The draft's big splash was three first-round choices by the Vikings. Only one team has ever had four first-round choices, the 2000 Jets. For the next decade, Jersey/B made the playoffs six times, going 6-6 in the postseason. Even half that outcome would make the Vikes happy about their three first-rounders. 

The Vikings would be happy with three playoff wins over the next decade? I'm not sure that's an accurate evaluation of the Vikings expectations for the next decade.

Minnesota snagged the sole punter chosen in the draft, Jeff Locke of UCLA, in the fifth round. It makes sense to use a draft choice on a punter only if a team expects to punt a lot. 

It also makes sense to use a draft choice on a punter if a team wants to have a really good punter on their roster. It's not like there are some NFL teams who don't have to punt and field position has suddenly become unimportant.

Amendola is younger -- in a few years he may still be playing, while Welker is not. Still, to tell one of a team's all-time most productive players to hit the road is vexing. TMQ perceives the sinister hidden hand of Bill Belichick, who may think that in his offense, anybody playing slot receiver role will catch 100 passes. Belichick may tell himself, "Last season I paid this guy $9 million to do nothing but run short curls, and he thanked me by whining to the media. No matter who I plug into the slot role, the result will be the same." 

Belichick could be right. Amendola is younger and could be more productive than Welker in the Patriots offense. We don't know yet.

In addition to these canny deals, new Oakland general manager Reggie McKenzie has waived Rolando McClain, on whom the Raiders spent the eighth choice of the 2010 draft, Darrius Heyward-Bey, on whom the Raiders spent the seventh selection of the 2009 draft, and several recent mid-round draft selections. The housecleaning helps McKenzie position himself in career terms -- he can say, "Previous management was so awful it threw draft picks out the window, so don't expect Oakland to win in 2013."

Gregg must not realize that Reggie McKenzie would have a very good point about previous management screwing up the draft. McKenzie is in position to blame previous management because they didn't draft very well. Sometimes blaming the previous regime isn't dodging blame, but correctly assigning blame.

But what about new management? McKenzie just gave Flynn $6 million guaranteed for the coming season, or $69,000 for each of the 87 passes he has completed in his NFL career.

$6 million guaranteed is nothing for a quarterback who could end up being the starter in 2013. It's a risk, but to get a quality quarterback the Raiders have to pay money for that quarterback.

Then Gregg Easterbrook calls out Mel Kiper for giving high grades in his 2013 NFL Draft grades. Now this, I can get behind.

So is Matt Barkley the next Todd Marinovich or the next Tom Brady?

The only similarity between Todd Marinovich and Matt Barkley is that they were both quarterbacks at USC. Marinovich was a first round pick, left-handed and had an overbearing father. None of this describes Barkley. What an incredibly lazy comparison. ESPN.com should be ashamed Gregg Easterbrook writes for them.

If EJ Manuel flames out and Geno Smith falls victim to the Jets' organizational dysfunction, Barkley could end up the star quarterback of the 2013 draft.

If Matt Barkley isn't good enough to play for the Eagles and Peyton Manning gets hurt then Zac Dysert could be the star quarterback of the 2013 draft. If Eli Manning retires suddenly then Ryan Nassib could be the star of the 2013. If zero quarterbacks from the draft play well then there may be zero star quarterbacks from the 2013 draft.

There is more than one hypothetical situation that could be presented where there is a star quarterback from the 2013 draft. It's just Gregg is going to (again) ignore any of those hypothetical situations that don't end up with the result that supports the point he wants to prove.

Though he is a traditional pocket passer; where will Barkley fit if Chip Kelly implements a zany Oregon-style blur offense?

Then Mike Vick will remain the quarterback of the Eagles or the offense will be changed to fit Barkley's skill set. 

Two years ago, who would have believed Landry Jones would last 'til the fourth round and be chosen after a player from William & Mary? Jones is big and strong like Ben Roethlisberger. At Oklahoma, he stood calmly in a clean pocket. With the Steelers, he'll have to get used to being hit as he throws, if not as the snap arrives. 

One of the main criticisms of Landry Jones is that he got rattled at Oklahoma when he was hit hard in the pocket or pressure was put on him. He didn't always stand in a clean pocket.

San Diego: The Bolts staged a trade to get Manti Te'o, and will ask him to fill the cleats of his idol, Junior Seau.

This is an easy comparison, especially for a lazy ass writer like Gregg, but Seau has not played for the Chargers since 2002. It's been a decade since he has left the team, so I'm not entirely sure Te'o is filling the cleats of Seau simply because they have the same heritage.

San Francisco: Niners fourth-round pick Quinton Patton of Louisiana Tech, a wide receiver, had 2,594 yards receiving in the last two seasons. Patton had more receiving yards in the last two years than Tavon Austin, DeAndre Hopkins or Cordarrelle Patterson, the receivers chosen in the first round, and twice the receiving yardage of Justin Hunter, first receiver chosen in the second round. 

And we all know the only determination of whether a wide receiver will succeed in the NFL is based entirely on how many receiving yards he had in college. The type of offense the receiver played in during college, the quality of other receivers on the rosters and the quality of the quarterback have no bearing at all on a receiver's statistics. Gregg is so annoying. I ask again, what has the public done to ESPN.com that they insist on continuing to employ Gregg Easterbrook? How have we angered you, ESPN.com? We apologize for whatever we did.

Seattle: The Bluish Men Group spent its first-round choice to acquire wide receiver Percy Harvin, who has never had a thousand-yard receiving season, whose yards per catch has declined steadily and who complains nonstop. Last season, Cecil Shorts of Division III Mount Union was a better player than Harvin has ever been. 

The two links that Gregg provides to these two players statistics are bad links. Gregg can't even link an article correctly.

It's important to note, though I wouldn't expect Gregg to note this since he's a fucking moron, that Percy Harvin also has a great deal of value in returning kickoffs. Harvin has 5 kickoffs returned for a touchdown and while Gregg says Shorts was better than Harvin has ever been last year, it's not entirely correct. Shorts had 55 receptions last year and Harvin has never had less than 60 receptions in a season. They are too different players and it's another lazy comparison by Gregg. He just wants to compare a highly-paid glory boy to a Division III player, but as always, he doesn't even do the damn comparison correctly. You can't compare these two players without acknowledging Harvin plays a different role in an offense than Shorts plays and that Harvin has a lot of value in the return game that Shorts doesn't have.

For several years, touts have expected Harvin to bust out as a star. It hasn't happened.

He's 24 years old and it sort of has happened already. Harvin had 62 catches and 677 yards in 9 games last year. That projects to 110 catches and 1203 yards over a full 16 game season. Those numbers would eclipse Shorts statistics even if you project him out for 16 games instead of the 14 games he played last year.

Tampa: Darrelle Revis, Mark Barron, Dashon Goldson plus this year's second-round draft selection -- the Buccaneers are now loaded at defensive back. Or are they? Revis has injury issues,

WHAT? How in the hell can Gregg get away with saying "Revis has injury issues." This is what Gregg wrote earlier in this column when criticizing the Jets for trading Revis:

Netting the Buccaneers deal and draft-day decisions, the Jets traded Darrelle Revis, one of the league's best players and in his prime, for the No. 13 overall pick (which the Jets used to select defensive tackle Sheldon Richardson) and a conditional mid-round 2014 pick. Richardson is a speculative choice who was only at the big-college level for two years, and there was once suspended. He and a conditional future pick are better than one of the league's top players in his prime?

Unless Richardson becomes a star, the Revis trade will rank as among the NFL's worst ever. 

This is how Gregg works. He is completely inconsistent in his criticisms. When talking about the Jets, he says they made a mistake in trading Revis because he is "one of the league's top players" and "in his prime." If Sheldon Richardson doesn't become a star the Revis trade will "rank as among the NFL's worse ever."

When Gregg talks about Tampa Bay, and decides he wants to criticize them, he says that Revis "has injury issues." He plays both sides of the issue for two reasons (1) to criticize NFL teams for moves they make and (2) so he can say he was right about the Revis trade. If Revis works out in Tampa Bay, Gregg will point out he criticized the Jets for trading Revis. If Revis doesn't work out in Tampa Bay, Gregg will point out he said Revis had injury issues. He plays both sides because that's the kind of cowardly writer he is. He doesn't do research, he criticizes NFL coaches when he has a very small grasp on how NFL defenses and offenses work, and he makes inconsistent criticism simply so he can go back in two years and say how right he was. Gregg is the worst.

Tennessee: If the NFL Network view was to be believed, the Titans had 14 people in their draft room. If the NFL is really that overstaffed, why do taxpayers keep paying subsidies for stadiums? 

The Titans have 14 people in their draft room and Gregg's only reaction is to wonder why taxpayers keep paying subsidies for stadiums?

Elsewhere, this column zings Johnny Manziel for barely going through the motions of being a college student. This logic doesn't apply to the Senior Bowl, which occurs after second semester begins at universities. Most participants have already either graduated or have left college because they're not going to graduate.

Gregg has a problem with college athletes who don't attend class, but he has no problem if a college athlete just stops going to school altogether because he expects to be drafted into the NFL. Great, so Johnny Manziel will avoid criticism from Gregg next year if he just stops going to class completely, but any attempts to pretend he does attend class next year then Gregg will criticize Manziel for pretending to go to class?

Next Week: Next week comes in August, when the NFL artificial universe resumes. 

So my blood pressure will stay at more normal levels until Gregg comes back in August. My life is going to be incomplete over the summer without Gregg misleading his readers.