MMQB Review: The MMQB Has Arisen Edition

Last week Peter King listened to two realtor's entire conversation while on the train, apparently wanting us to acknowledge what torture it is to hear a person's entire phone conversation. Of course Peter chose to write the entire conversation down and provide a transcript of the conversation in MMQB, so that just makes him a creepy person who needs to learn not to write down other people's conversations. This week The MMQB starts. This is the NFL-centric site that Peter has started and it is not to be confused with MMQB, Peter's weekly column. There is a column called MMQB and a site called THE MMQB. It's very complicated. So this week in his first MMQB on The MMQB Peter does his best to come off a little bit self-important by titling MMQB "Dawn of a New Day." Ordinarily you would see this title accompanying Presidential election results or some other major event that changes the status quo, but I guess Peter couldn't contain his excitement at having a new site where he can share his love of coffee and hatred for the general cell phone-using public. 

I find myself this morning feeling the same as Garrett. Only I’ve got a different team. It’s called The MMQB, a site under the Sports Illustrated umbrella devoted to all things football, using all the means of modern media to disseminate that football prose and information. 

Except for cell phones. Cell phones are not to be used to disseminate football prose and information. If any of Peter's new underlings attempt to break NFL news while in public by cell phone it will be a PKD, or Peter King Don't, and the underling will be forced to write a haiku about gun control.

The rules, the expectations, the mundane, the inspirational. In the spring, I knew we’d be kicking off this new site around the start of NFL camps, and I went in search of a team that might let us not only write about a coach’s first speech of the season to his team, but show video of it. In our business today, we’ve all got to get wise to video.

Television is the future! Get on the train now with Peter before you get left behind!

So after some convincing, Dallas owner Jerry Jones gave his blessing, along with coach Jason Garrett. And so, on Saturday, in his team meeting room a few long spirals from the Pacific Ocean, Garrett stepped to the front and laid out his hopes, plans, expectations and rules for the new season. To the best of my knowledge, I don’t believe a head coach’s full training-camp speech, the words and video, has ever seen the light of day … until today, in the first post in The MMQB history. We’re proud to bring it to you.

Years from now we will marvel at Peter's use of video (in color!) and crystal clear audio to allow his audience to hear that Cowboys coach who got fired after the 2013 season give a training-camp speech and know this was when the new day had truly dawned.

Three things I found compelling about Garrett’s presentation:

The son of a coach talks like a coach, paces like a coach and warns that players had better be able to take coaching.

Breaking news: An NFL head coach talks like a head coach. More on this developing story later.

“None of us need help being mediocre—especially me. Coach my ass! … You been to the Pro Bowl eight times? You’re getting your ass coached. You just got here 15 minutes ago? You’re getting your ass coached. First-round picks, free agents who signed for nothing—everybody’s getting coached.”

"You want to go to Subway for lunch? You're getting your ass coached. You can't drive a stick shift and need to go to the grocery store for Teddy Grahams? You're getting your assed coached."

“We’re gonna establish an identity that lasts forever,” Garrett told his players. “That starts today.”
 
My aim is the same at The MMQB.

Peter King is modeling The MMQB (again, not to be confused with the MMQB column) after the words and actions of Jason Garrett. What could go wrong?

So … where to begin. Let’s start with what The MMQB won’t be. We’re not going to cover contracts very much, or day-to-day beat coverage of teams, or things you should continue to read and watch in your local papers and websites. 

So The MMQB won't cover specifics, won't do day-to-day coverage of teams and won't give fans of specific teams more information than they could get in their local paper. Need to know how Tom Brady's contract extension affects the Patriots ability to re-sign their free agents and where it leaves them in terms of cap space? You won't find it here. Need to know how much fun Brady is having with his new receivers and how optimistic he is about the new season? You're getting coached because Peter is all over that shit.

How are the Seahawks treating training camp after the rash of team suspensions? Don't ask Peter. Want to know if Russell Wilson feels he has improved since last season, Peter has an interview with you about how Wilson feels good about his improvement. Substance? No.

We’ll do fantasy football, but not in the kind of exhaustive way that you’d say, “Hey, let’s read King so we can set our lineups this week.”

Peter is going to provide information that isn't informative. The MMQB will have fantasy football information that doesn't help players set their teams for the week. I can't fathom how this site could fail. I wonder what this site will do? 

We’ll be the thinking person’s site for pro football.

As long as the thinking person doesn't need breaking news, local news, specific news on contracts or any type of information for fantasy purposes. Otherwise, Peter has you covered. You're getting coached. Need to know WHY something happened without those pesky details like specifics, this new NFL-centric site is the place to come.

Bedard this week will take you inside the coaching offices at Stanford, where NFL teams—surprise—have spent time this offseason studying how to stop the read-option offense. Vrentas reports from Michigan, beginning a season-long series on The Undrafted Free-Agent

Gregg Easterbrook just had a pants explosion at the thought of a season-long series on The Undrafted Free Agent.

Vrentas, too, will be a valuable player for us because of her science background—she majored in biochemistry at Penn State,

Oh right, because she can like determine the biochemistry of an NFL team? I'm confused.

All three writers will have lots more in the coming days and weeks—and those who got to know Bedard from his video dissection in New England will be pleased to know he’ll be doing the same kind of video work with us weekly.

Peter can't emphasize this enough, video is the future. Use video or die. Just don't use video in public with the volume on or else Peter will write down the entire video conversation you are having.

My good friend Don Banks will spice up the scene; he’ll check in with a column we’ll call “The Conscience,” in which everyone in the game (Week 1: Roger Goodell) will be subject to Judge Banks’ rulings.

Oh, that sounds like a column idea that could go really right or really wrong.

College football guru Andy Staples of SI will file, starting next week, a week-by-week NFL Draft Top 50 (I think we can come up with a kitschier name than that),

How about "The MMQB Draft Top 50." It seems only natural based on the "MMQB" theme. There, it's fixed. That's the name.

I’ll take you on a trip back to Colin Kaepernick’s hometown on Tuesday (you’ll get a kick out of him ducking into Little Caesar’s for a large pepperoni pie) but it’s during the trip back to the Bay Area when the sudden star really opens up.

All fluff, no substance, that's Peter's promise to us. Does Tom Brady like water slides? Peyton Manning, does he feel old and what does his wife think of Denver? Does Carson Palmer think puppies are cute and like macaroni and cheese? Peter will find out for us.

And did I mention Rex Ryan is doing “Ten Things I Think I Think” on Wednesday?

Because we don't get a chance to hear from Rex Ryan quite enough.

We’ll have regular “Ten Things” from players and NFL folk, as well as a quick three-question interview with people who have something to say (Joe Namath today, Tom Brady tomorrow).

I'm being snarky about this "all fluff, no substance" stuff, but this really does sound like pretty light weight material The MMQB will be covering. I don't personally care about "Ten Things" that players and NFL folk think. I'm not sure where Peter got the impression the general public wanted more "Ten Things" that others think.

We’ll blast you with regular stuff on social-media platforms, including tweets of short “Ten Things’’ entries, with links back to the full column. 

We're getting coached AND blasted. It's going to be an in-your-face site where we learn what kind of pizza Colin Kaepernick likes.

Inside our shop are three invaluable editors: my right-hand man, Mark Mravic, who has edited my copy at the magazine for the past decade;...Mravic does a good job telling me when I’m an idiot and keeping the place on track.

But does he Peter, does he really tell you when you are an idiot?

We’re still deciding how to cover games, which seems odd. But we’re questioning everything.

Except contract specifics. Peter doesn't care to question those.

The three flagship sponsors who have signed on—Bose, Gillette Deodorant and Microsoft—have been fabulous to work with. It’s a reality of today’s media that when you start a new venture, you need financial help.

Peter likes the people who give money to help the keep the site afloat. Good to know.

I say mysterious because I don’t know where it’ll lead. You—the readers, viewers and listeners—will decide that. All I know is we’re going to give it our best shot. Get back to me, okay?

Peter probably doesn't want honest feedback, unless that feedback is positive of course.

I’m hearing the league is looking into having a second Hall of Fame game—a game that would be played during the regular season to great fanfare, in a move designed to increase interest in the Hall of Fame.

Because we all know if another Hall of Fame game took place football fans would immediately be compelled to go visit the Hall of Fame.

And calling a big regular-season game “The Hall of Fame Game’’ could focus attention on the Hall, particularly if there are programs in the home city of the game designed to spur interest and tourism there.

So would this Denver Broncos-New England Patriots game take place in New England or Denver? I'm just wondering because you know the game will involve either the Steelers, Brady, Manning or another high-drawing player or team. No way the NFL puts "The Hall of Fame Game" on the schedule as a Houston Texans-Seattle Seahawks game. So we would get another primetime game involving teams that draw good ratings. I'm pumped and will immediately go visit the Hall of Fame as a result.

My idea? Get a traveling collection of leather helmets and the like, and find a good museum in New York to house the display during Super Bowl week this year. Maybe you’d get people to say, “I’ve never been to the Hall. I’ve got to go.”

There are no good museums in New York. Everyone knows this.

Then Peter tells us how he got into writing.

When I was in fifth grade, I wrote a one-sheet neighborhood newsletter in the summer every couple weeks. My mom would put carbon paper between sheets in the typewriter and type up the thing for me, and I’d distribute it to a few neighbors.

This sounds like a very Peter King-ish thing to do. I imagine fifth grade Peter would throw a hissy fit if the juice his neighbors gave him in return for this neighborhood newsletter wasn't cold enough and Peter would swear he is NOT distributing a newsletter to those people again.

Can you imagine what a nightmare nerd I was for those neighbors? Don’t answer the doorbell Mabel! It’s that King weirdo again with the stories about his wiffleball games!

These are actual words the neighbors would say. Peter would lean in throw an open window and transcribe the conversations his neighbors were having.

It’s that time of year—time for my annual training-camp trip. Snapshots of my journey over the next five weeks, first by air and then by the Go RVing-sponsored recreational vehicle that will ferry Team MMQB to camps east of the Mississippi well into August (and this is a tentative list, because news events could make me change the itinerary):

News events like, "Hattiesburg, Mississippi has a new Starbucks" or "Marvin Demoff called and wants Peter to double up on his Rams coverage."

Broncos (July 25, Denver) The simplistic angle is the best angle: Manning to Welker. Over the past six years, no player in football has more receptions than Welker’s 672 . What player in his right mind would leave Tom Brady? Welker, to play with Peyton Manning. Should be fun to see.

Unless you aren't a Broncos fan of course. In that case, Manning-to-Welker isn't going to be very fun to see.

49ers (July 28, Santa Clara, Calif.) When I spent half a day with Colin Kaepernick seven weeks ago, it was clear he wasn’t over the Super Bowl loss, and

he likes pizza? Did Colin Kaepernick say he likes pizza? Answer the questions your readers want to know Peter!

Patriots (night stadium practice, July 29, Foxboro, Mass.) As crazy as it sounds, by the time I roll into Foxboro, the Aaron Hernandez story will be talked out. What won’t be is who Tom Brady uses instead. A lesser tight end, maybe Daniel Fells or UFA Zach Sudfeld? A drafted wideout, maybe Aaron Dobson (Marshall, round two) or Josh Boyce (TCU, round four)? A running back with versatility like Shane Vereen?

As always, Peter is able to recite the Patriots roster including the draft position of each player. I'm guessing Brady is going to be using whichever guy is open the most.

Jets (July 31, Cortland, N.Y.) All QBs, all the time. I hope I see four or five series of Geno Smith against new defensive coordinator Dennis Thurman and Rex Ryan throwing the kitchen sink at him. That’s going to be the big test for Smith this summer—handling everything Ryan can throw at him.

In fairness to Rex Ryan, he doesn't have the best cornerback in the NFL on his team anymore so we shouldn't expect him to throw together a great defense. It's hard to be considered a defensive genius when you don't have the luxury of better defensive players than everyone else. Just give Rex Ryan the best cornerback in the NFL and he can win some games, but otherwise it's impossible to coordinate a defense and win games without Revis.

Eagles (Aug. 4, Philadelphia) I get to do what Tony Dungy has done a few times over the last couple of years,

Lecture and mentor a young player?

with his son Eric a receiver at Oregon: watch Chip Kelly coach a practice. Looking forward to that, plus whatever we can divine from his offense and his quarterback competition. Vick-Foles should be raging by the first week of August.

Vick-Foles. Montana-Young it is not.

Redskins (Aug. 6, Richmond) Around this time, Robert Griffin III ought to be either practicing or very close to practicing. That’s going to be a matter of some attention.

But since The MMQB doesn't pay attention to local teams or cover do the job of Redskins beat reporters I am sure Peter will just skip over Griffin's return. After all, Redskins fans can read about Griffin's recovery in the local newspaper and Peter has stated that isn't the sort of thing The MMQB will cover in MMQB or any other MMQB-related article.

Rams (Aug. 10, Earth City, Mo.) Of all the practices I see, this could be the best one—if Tavon Austin cuts it loose in this afternoon workout. I want to see how Austin, the highest-taken skill-position player in this year’s draft, is bonding with Sam Bradford. The Rams’ playoff chances depend on it.

I'm going to assume the answer from Peter as to how Tavon Austin and Sam Bradford are bonding will be "They are bonding fantastic and no two players have ever bonded like this before" as Marvin Demoff smiles happily in his office. It's nice to have a sportswriter PR guy for your son's NFL team, but now Peter has more editorial control AND an entire NFL website, which I'm sure Marvin Demoff has to be thrilled about.

Vikings (Aug. 12, Mankato, Minn.) Mostly I’m looking forward to Adrian Peterson’s annual handshake. It hurts. But this year, I’ve got a secret plan for him. (Don’t tell him.)

Is Peter banking on Peterson being illiterate and not being able to read that he has a plan for Peterson's annual handshake?

Bengals (Aug. 15, Cincinnati) James Harrison. Hard Knocks. Andy Dalton, improved enough? The Bengals have enough good angles this year to merit a stop on the tour. Well, I can always order the 4-Way at Skyline Chili if they get boring over the next three weeks.

Peter seems concerned the Bengals are going to be too boring to merit any kind of coverage. Not that Peter only finds certain NFL teams interesting to cover of course. If Peter can't be entertained while doing his job then he will go find something that will interest him. Really, this NFL Training Camp tour is about ensuring Peter stays entertained during the long summer.

So I’m standing on the Redskins’ practice field during a June practice, next to Washington Post writer Dave Sheinin. I knew he’d written a book on Robert Griffin III, and so I asked him what he learned about Griffin in his reporting that will be interesting and new.

“Well, he sorts of reminds me of a modern Bill Bradley,” Sheinin said.

The media loves themselves some Robert Griffin III. He can rail against the "tyranny of political correctness" and (reportedly) sext whoever he wants and still be compared to a well-liked politician.

“As best I could tell,” Sheinin wrote, “there didn’t seem to be a good historical precedent for the Griffin we came to know in 2012—this combination of on-field brilliance, camera-ready magnetism, law-school smarts, off-the-cuff eloquence and impossibly wholesome image—until a random conversation with my Washington Post colleague, the esteemed columnist Thomas Boswell, produced a name that nearly knocked me out of my chair: Bill Bradley.

Are you sure he didn't say Bill Brasky? Some of the expectations for Griffin seem to reach Brasky-esque proportions at times.

“Senator Robert Griffin III of Texas, a first-term lawmaker in 2028? Yeah, that sounds about right.”

Remember, Griffin hasn't shown an interest in politics and is a second-year quarterback. Now Peter and Sheinin have him as a United States Senator. Unfortunately, he and Tebow aren't from the same state so they can't go against each other in a Senate race. That would be interesting to see.

“I hope they do well. They better not win a championship without me because I’ll be really pissed.”
—Recently retired Chicago middle linebacker Brian Urlacher, to Dave Dameshek of NFL.com, about his hopes for the 2013 Bears.
Well, at least the man’s honest.

I hate to break it to Urlacher but at some point the Chicago Bears are going to win a championship without him. It may not be this year of course.

Promissory note about the first seven days of The MMQB: We’ll write something—a story, some column notes, an interview, video, or something else—on every one of the 32 teams. And I’ll be more egalitarian about coverage than I normally am with the regular Monday Morning Quarterback column.

I joke about it and I don't have a huge issue with the fact Peter tends to give some teams the short end of the stick as it pertains to coverage in MMQB. In way I like it, because it shows the teams that are (a) successful and (b) the teams that Peter prefers to cover and he feels are interesting. There are obviously other factors in there as well, but I think Peter is going to be a little surprised (and probably disappointed) if he tries to make his coverage more egalitarian. I'm not sure he will be as successful as he wants to be.

Andy DeGory of The MMQB tallied up how many words I wrote in the news sections of my first 23 Monday columns (not including things like Quotes and Tweets of the Week) of this year, and it brought home how I’ve got to do a better job covering all the teams.

This is kind of a dumb way to find out which teams Peter covers well and doesn't cover well. I would use how many words Peter wrote during the 2012 regular season, because that is a time when all teams are playing football and each team could have an interesting story or note that Peter could use to educate his readers. This would show which teams Peter chooses to write stories about and discuss. Using primarily the offseason MMQB's sways the sample towards teams that are more active in free agency (which you will see when looking at the teams he shorted), made it further in the playoffs and have non-football related stories that surround them. 

I’ve written approximately 91,220 football words in my dispatches—only 129 about Miami, 192 about Dallas, 370 about Houston, 501 about Tennessee, 553 about the Giants, 622 about Carolina, 628 about Cincinnati, 738 about Kansas City, 948 about Pittsburgh and 952 about New Orleans.

See, most of those teams didn't (a) make the playoffs, (b) weren't incredibly active on the free agent market or (c) didn't have an offseason story (an arrest, a controversy) surrounding them. The Dolphins did sign Mike Wallace so I would have thought that deserved more words in MMQB, but the sample Peter has chosen skews towards teams who made the playoffs and had non-game related stories pertain to them. I would prefer to know which teams Peter skews towards when the regular season games are happening and he can pick and choose the stories he covers, as opposed to covering the stories that happen in the offseason.

Conversely, there have been 13,740 words on the Ravens, 7,346 on the Niners (figures; they were in the Super Bowl), 5,044 on New England, 4,545 on the Jets, 4,444 on Oakland and 4,163 on St. Louis.

The Ravens and Niners made the playoffs, the Patriots made the AFC Title Game, the Jets had controversy and interesting stories surrounding them...then there are the Raiders and the Rams. Peter did stories for Sports Illustrated on both teams. Plus, Marvin Demoff is Peter's agent and Kevin Demoff is the Ram's COO, while another Demoff client is the Rams' coach. So there's that.

Watch our site, and call me on it if your team isn’t being covered. I’ll listen.

You probably won't.

This Week’s Sign We Have Officially Gone Off Our Rocker As a Society I:

Not to be confused with "This Week's Sign of the Apocalypse" that runs in Sports Illustrated every week. 

A 20-ounce bottle of smartwater at JFK International Airport costs $3.99. Smartwater, according to the ingredients, is “vapor-distilled water.” In other words, water.

This Week’s Sign We Have Officially Gone Off Our Rocker As a Society II:

I bought the water.

What's this "we" shit? You bought the water, "we" didn't buy the water.

That was, of course, before the 30ish woman in the center seat next to me on the 5-hour, 10-minute flight to Los Angeles Friday sat down, said hello, took out a case of about 30 foam curlers, and began brushing her shoulder-blade-length hair and rolling it up with the curlers. The whole process took about 30 minutes.
Really: Who does that?

Probably the same kind of person who buys a 20 ounce bottle of water for $3.99 or writes down the cell phone conversation of strangers.

“So the rumors are true. I’m going back to STL!! Is anyone as excited as I am? NOPE!”

—@willwitherspoon, the former and current Rams linebacker, breaking the news on Twitter that he signed with the Rams as a free agent.

(Marvin Demoff) "Hey Peter, find a way to mention the Rams signed Will Witherspoon in MMQB this week. This isn't a question, but a request. Do it."

(Peter King) "Sure boss. It sounds like an innocuous signing that doesn't deserve mention, but I'll try to find a way to slip it in!"

Ten Things I Think I Think

3. I think Chip Kelly-to-Philadelphia is the most compelling migration from college to the NFL since Jimmy Johnson-to-Dallas in 1989.

I am sure the same thing was said about Steve Spurrier going to the Redskins.

4. I think I know what you’re thinking: Wait a minute. What about Spurrier-to-Washington in 2002? Saban-to-Miami in 2005? Good ones, and much-anticipated. But there’s so much mystery around Kelly, from what his crazy-quilt offense might look like to importing a Navy SEAL trainer (Shaun Huls) to whip the players into shape, using everything but drones in the process.

Right...because there was no mystery as to how Spurrier's "Fun 'N Gun" offense would translate to the NFL or how Saban's micromanaging and dictatorial style would translate to the NFL. Chip Kelly may very well be successful but he isn't the first college coach who had mystery surrounding him once he entered the NFL to be a head coach.

Spurrier’s heart was never in it.

Which we didn't know at the time and would have had nothing to do with whether his migration to the NFL was compelling or not.

Saban? I didn’t have the same feeling as I do about Kelly, maybe because Kelly seemed so more of an innovator than Saban was in college.

Innovator or not Saban still has four National Championships more than the innovative Chip Kelly and Saban had one National Championship when he came to the NFL. His arrival in the NFL was a pretty big story. I get it, comparisons are fun and Kelly is an innovator, but I'm not sure the idea his move to the NFL is the most compelling since Jimmy Johnson came to Dallas is true.

6. I think the unimportant part of the Robert Griffin III/readiness story is whether he will be cleared to practice on the first day of camp. There’s really no need for him to be taking every snap, or really any snaps, the first couple of weeks of practice. The important part is that he’d be able to go by about Aug. 15, which I hear he will. I have very little doubt—barring an additional injury at training camp or in a preseason game—that Griffin will be the Washington quarterback 49 nights from now, when Philadelphia comes to D.C. for the Monday-night opener.

Peter means Senator Robert Griffin, of course.

7. I think similar questions are being asked in New England about Rob Gronkowski’s readiness in New England; the Patriots have their first practice Friday at 9 a.m.... The Patriots could choose to place him the Physically Unable to Perform List, and keep him out for the first six weeks of the regular season. They could make him one of the 53 active players entering the season, and simply de-activate him for two, three or four weeks, say, until they feel he’s in satisfactory football shape. Or he could play at the start of the season. I think it’ll be PUP or deactivation for two or three weeks, but no one can know until the teams sees how he feels and responds to physical activity.

So Peter is reporting that no one knows how Rob Gronkowski's back will respond and what the Patriots will plan to do with him at the beginning of the NFL season. Essentially Peter is reporting a story by giving us information that doesn't really give information, but simply lists obvious choices the Patriots have in regard to Gronkowski. I guess this is the type of thing The MMQB will be doing, stories with a list of options and no new information provided.

I'm just saying, if Peter isn't going to provide new information why bring the topic of Gronkowski up when there isn't anything to discuss?

10. I think these are my non-football thoughts of the week:

c. My cool, memorable, only-in-New York highlight of the week: We are huge Curb Your Enthusiasm fans, and my wife got us tickets to see the new improv-type movie starring and directed by Jeff Garlin, the agent-to-Larry in Curb. So we went to the movie, Dealin’ With Idiots, about a crazy group of youth baseball parents and crazier coaches...The ending was a hilarious outtake of a field caretaker trying to measure the distance between the pitching rubber and home plate using an uncooperative tape measure. I have a kind of howling laughter with humor like that. So when Garlin took the stage to talk, the first thing he said was, “Who’s the guy with the tremendous laugh?” I raised my hand. Guilty as charged.

Of course if Peter had been in a movie and another person had a howling laugh that stood out among everyone else Peter would complain that person was laughing too hard and it ruined the movie for him. Since it is Peter who has the annoying howling laugh, it's all in good fun, but when someone else has a laugh like this Peter would wonder "Why can't this person control his laugh?"

f. I give you permission to sign Dustin Pedroia for a ridiculous sum of money, Red Sox.

Sure, give a second baseman who isn't going to hit free agency for two years a contract extension that will take him into his mid-30's. What could go wrong? I know they are two completely separate players, but when I heard the Red Sox wanted to sign Pedroia to an extension two years prior to him hitting free agency I thought "Ryan Howard."

g. How great was that Mariano Rivera moment in the All-Star Game? Nobody doesn’t like Mariano Rivera.

I don't like Mariano Rivera. He's too good. That annoys me.

n. Beernerdness: So my favorite white beer, Allagash, of Maine, has had an expansion project up at the brewery in Portland, which is good to hear. The business is growing by about 40% a year. Found it amazing on my Pacific Northwest vacation to have seen it on tap in two different Seattle places. Can’t keep a great beer down.

Well Peter, if you can't keep a great beer down then you may have a stomach problem. Better go see your doctor about this.

p. Speaking of Olivia Munn, she’ll be in The MMQB on Wednesday. No spoilers, though.

Yes, don't spoil something I am not reading anyway.

s. Golf is foreign to me, but great sporting accomplishments are not. Congrats, Phil Mickelson. A 66 in the clutch at Muirfield? Tremendous.

More tremendous than this is that Phil Mickelson is the only golfer with a family. At least it appears that way sometimes if you listen to the golf commentators.

The Adieu Haiku

Ugh. Peter uses a haiku to say The MMQB will be a wild ride. Nothing says "wild ride" like a haiku.