Dan Shaughnessy Can't Figure Out Why Carl Crawford and Adrian Gonzalez Won't Talk to Him

One of the hallmarks of modern sports journalism is the insistence on the journalist inserting himself into a story so that he becomes a part of the story, as opposed to simply covering the story. It can be seen on ESPN when Skip Bayless forces his narrative of LeBron James and Tim Tebow on us, until we can no longer think of either athlete without also thinking of Skip Bayless. It continues in "print" journalism with writers like T.J. Simers (whose career is currently RIP) who go into locker rooms and openly bait athletes into threatening to injure him. Dan Shaughnessy tends to be guilty of this same thing. Maybe he doesn't go into a locker room and cause a guy like Matt Treanor to threaten him nor does he openly troll Marcus Thames, but he will destroy a guy in his column and then wonder why these athletes won't speak to him. Dan does this today with Carl Crawford and Adrian Gonzalez. Dan inserts himself into the story because he isn't satisfied with simply covering a story. He wants to be the story.

Whether it is taking shots at Crawford or Gonzalez in a very negative Spring Training column about the Red Sox (whoops, Dan's negativity looks silly now doesn't it?) or enjoying the struggles of these players once they were traded to the Dodgers (I want to call your attention in that post to the fawning compliments Shaughnessy paid Gonzalez in 2011), Dan has taken the time to make his opinion of Crawford and Gonzalez be known. Now they won't grant him an interview? It's the perfect time for him to become a part of a story he can report on!

I am standing in the swanky, though not overly spacious, Dodgers clubhouse.

OUR CLUBHOUSE IS NICER THAN YOUR CLUBHOUSE!

This is how big of a dick, Dan Shaughnessy is. There's no need to mention the Dodgers clubhouse isn't overly spacious. He just says it because that's who he is. Dan is the kind of guy who will ask you where you went for your 25th wedding anniversary dinner and then tell you there are nicer restaurants in town you could have gone to.

It is just after 3:30 p.m. Friday and the room has just been opened to the media. No sign of Josh Beckett. No sign of Adrian Gonzalez. No sign of Carl Crawford.

They may not know Dan is waiting. It's hard for these Dodgers players to see Dan while all the way up there in first place.

I am not discouraged. I have emptied bigger rooms than this.

Because this story needs to be about Dan Shaughnessy and how these players react to seeing him.

Suddenly, Crawford is at his locker.

Oh, I can feel the drama as it unfolds. I would say I'm on the edge of my seat, but I've already thrown my chair across the room in anger after reading this column all the way through.

Carl is muttering something as he disappears into the safe haven. From my distance, all I made out is, “[expletive] talk to the [expletive] Boston media . . . ’’

Again, as we all well know at this point, the media believes they have a right to speak to these players anytime they want to speak to them. Really, Carl Crawford is better seen as a caged animal who needs to do a canned interview on demand with the entitled media.

It’s not like we weren’t warned. Back on Wednesday in San Francisco, Boston reporters asked Red Sox PR people to approach Dodgers PR people to see if Crawford and Gonzalez would be made available before the first game in Los Angeles. Early Friday afternoon, we got word that Carl and the Cooler (Gonzalez in the last three seasons has been part of historic folds by the Padres, Red Sox, and Dodgers, hence, “the Cooler”) would not be speaking with us.

Oh my, there's so much going on in this paragraph. I'm going to have a micro-breakdown of my breakdown to get through this one.

It’s not like we weren’t warned.

So Dan was told he wouldn't get to speak with Carl Crawford or Adrian Gonzalez, yet he writes an entire column as if he were mystified that he isn't able to speak with Crawford or Gonzalez? Did he just think, "Oh well, the rules don't apply to me. Crawford and Gonzalez will welcome me with open arms and rub my curly little head until we explode into joys of laughter"?

Right, it isn't like you weren't warned. So why attempt to interview Crawford anyway? Oh yeah, so you can be a part of the story you are covering.

Back on Wednesday in San Francisco, Boston reporters asked Red Sox PR people to approach Dodgers PR people to see if Crawford and Gonzalez would be made available before the first game in Los Angeles. Early Friday afternoon, we got word that Carl and the Cooler (Gonzalez in the last three seasons has been part of historic folds by the Padres, Red Sox, and Dodgers, hence, “the Cooler”) would not be speaking with us.

They aren't speaking with you, Dan. You know this, so why continue to pursue an interview or even give out the implication that you could at some point land an interview with either player? It wasn't happening, so the only reason you would continue to pursue an interview is to cause trouble and hope to get a strong enough reaction in order to write a column about the reaction. It's straight out of the T.J. Simers playbook.

we got word that Carl and the Cooler (Gonzalez in the last three seasons has been part of historic folds by the Padres, Red Sox, and Dodgers, hence, “the Cooler”)

The Padres didn't collapse any more than they regressed back to their mean and the Dodgers didn't collapse last year any more than they just didn't play well enough to make the playoffs. The Dodgers played only slightly worse prior to the Red Sox-Dodgers trade than they played prior to the trade. So attempting to be snide in calling Gonzalez "the Cooler" isn't very clever nor accurate, especially considering the Dodgers are running away with the NL West this season. Gonzalez isn't much of a cooler it seems.

“You can try,’’ a Dodgers PR guy told me. “But that’s what they’re telling us. Adrian was pretty firm about it.’’

So rather than take the advice of the PR guy Dan decided it would make a better story and perhaps cause a confrontation he could write about (AND BE IN THE STORY!) if he did try to land the interview Gonzalez insisted he wouldn't give. After all, Dan is entitled to an interview. It's in the Bill of Rights and all.

My brief interaction with Carl seemed to confirm the notion, but when you work for John Henry, it’s always better to find out firsthand. 

Translation: I was out of column ideas and thought I could make a little trouble.

After the Dodgers stretched in left field, I spotted Gonzalez chatting briefly with NESN reporter Jenny Dell. Gonzo even gave her a big bear hug. No interview, though.

“No media, just playing baseball,’’ Gonzalez told Jenny.

And then Jenny Dell tried to conduct an interview anyway and began the questioning by leading off with a question about whether Gonzalez really thought himself to be "the Cooler" or not? Wait, she did not do this, but it is probably what Dan would have done in this situation.

The odds of any athlete talking to me after not having time for Jenny Dell are about one hundred million-to-one. You’d have a better chance guessing the exact number of snowflakes in Colorado.

But, never one to fail to insert himself into the story...

Still, I approached Gonzalez in the Dodgers dugout and asked him if he would be submitting to interviews Friday.

So at this point Dan has been told here would be no interviews with Gonzalez and heard Gonzalez tell an NESN reporter he isn't doing interviews, yet he still is brazen enough to approach Gonzalez asking him if he would be doing interviews. Dan desperately wants a reaction from Gonzalez. He's like a five year old child who has been told repeatedly that he/she can't have a cookie, yet keeps asking hoping the answer changes. The difference is that Dan is supposed to be an adult and he really doesn't care if the answer changes, he just wants to watch Gonzalez get pissed off at him.

“No,’’ was all he said.

What a shock! If only Dan had been told two days prior that Gonzalez wouldn't be submitting to an interview and had only just now seen Gonzalez reject an interview from an NESN reporter who didn't bash him in print like Dan did. This is so unforeseen that Gonzalez wouldn't do an interview with Dan!

I was able to get a couple of thousands words out of the affable Nick Punto. 

It's easy to be affable when you haven't been the subject of Dan Shaughnessy's juvenile name-calling and attempts to blame you for the problems of the entire team.

Does he think Carl and Adrian are happy now?

I can't imagine how they wouldn't be happier now that they don't have Dan Shaughnessy sticking his pubed-up head in their face trying to get a quote for a column he is writing.

Carl and the Cooler didn’t think so. Crawford in Boston was never the player he was in Tampa.

That seems to happen to Rays outfielders once they leave for greener pastures in free agency. Doesn't it B.J. Upton?

Despite failing after signing a $142 million contract, Crawford was rarely critiqued in Boston.

As the blog Dan Shaughnessy Watch noted previously, this is an absolute lie. Just a big, fat stinking turd of a lie. This is an example of Dan inserting himself into a story and then changing the narrative around to fit what he wants to believe.

But he has reinvented his time in the Hub, characterizing the Boston baseball experience as “toxic,’’ and telling the LA Times, “I knew with the struggles I was having, it would never get better for me. It puts you in a kind of a depression stage. You just don’t see a way out.’’

He didn't enjoy his time in Boston. He isn't the first or last player to be blinded by dollars and end up miserable playing in the city where he signed his free agent contract.

Crawford said that in spring training this year, right before Gonzalez dropped this whopper in USA Today: “Chemistry is something you need among the ballplayers, but also with the owners, the coaches, and the front office. In Boston, we had great chemistry among the players — we were together — but that was only among the players. It wasn’t there with the rest. That’s why the team didn’t win. It needs to be an organization-wide thing.’’

Is that really a whopper? Didn't Dan Shaughnessy write an entire book with Terry Francona about the dysfunction in the Red Sox organization?

The Dodgers were mocked when the trade went down. Nobody is mocking them now.

So Dan resorts to mocking their clubhouse size and stalking their players around the ballpark in an effort to get an interview he has already been told he won't be getting.

“He’s been the consummate professional wherever he’s been. If you were designing the perfect player for this fan base and this community and team and this franchise at this time it would be Adrian Gonzalez. And they are both leaders.’’

Wow. Carl and the Cooler as we’ve never seen them. 

Well, we did see Crawford and Gonzalez like this is in Tampa Bay and San Diego respectively, but it seems Dan has the same attitude Bill Simmons has where he doesn't think an athlete exists prior to playing in Boston.

So why the cold shoulder to guys from Boston? We are fun and easy.

Don't be a passive-aggressive asshole. You know you were an asshole to Crawford and Gonzalez during the time they were in Boston and especially after they left.

“Boston’s not for everybody,’’ said former Sox manager Kevin Kennedy, now a Los Angeles media guy. “Some people can’t handle it.’’

People like Carl and the Cooler.

Right, it's just that Crawford and Gonzalez can't handle playing in a large market like Boston. It's a good thing that Gonzalez and Crawford are in a small market like Los Angeles where there is a small media presence and very little pressure to perform.

Good job trying to insert yourself into the story, Dan. Too bad you failed. This is modern journalism. Inserting one's self into the story, creating lies in order to further your narrative, and trying to interview athletes you have criticized in print and then wondering why they won't talk to you.