MMQB Review: It's the Annual "It's So Crazy the NFL Isn't Predictable" MMQB Edition

Peter King struggled a bit again when trying to give us perspective on a baseball player's career in last week's MMQB. He talked about Johnny Manziel (or "Johnny Dawg Pound" as Peter stated it) and told us that Manziel is not loved by NFL scouts but he very well could go in the first round of the NFL Draft, whenever Manziel enters the NFL Draft. Peter also made it clear that the Seahawks have a big homefield advantage and it's too early to say anything definitively, but if the Seahawks win homefield advantage over the 49ers (since apparently they are the only two NFC teams who could have the best record in the NFC) then they may make it to the Super Bowl. This week Peter talks about Aldon Smith (since you know, there were no NFL games played this weekend this becomes the most important story of the past week), talks about how strange the NFL is because conventional wisdom isn't playing out this season, and tells us he thought the Browns were tanking. 

“You never pick up where you left off from one year to the next,’’ Bill Parcells used to say. (Maybe he still says it, for all I know.) Don’t the NFC playoff teams from last year know it. Those six teams are 6-12 this morning.

That is the 2013 season after 47 games.

For the first season ever, the NFL is unpredictable. I wonder if this will be a trend?

Every year Peter King writes at least one MMQB where he mentions what a wild and wacky NFL season it has been. At some point, the fact the NFL is wild and wacky makes it somewhat predictable, no?

I’ll take Startling Stats for $800, Alex.

I'll take Jokes from the Mid-90's for $1000, Alex.

San Francisco is supposed to define defense. The Niners have allowed 84 points through three weeks. New Orleans (last in team defense last year) and Indianapolis (26th last year), combined, have allowed 86 points.

It's not like the 49ers have played the Packers, Colts, or Seahawks or anything. It's not like all three of those teams made the playoffs last year. It's not like the Saints have played the Buccaneers, Falcons and Cardinals. It's not like two of those teams aren't very good. So great point.

Those guys making the commercials—how are they doing? Robert Griffin III is the 20th-rated passer in football, and, scrambling in the pocket Sunday, was caught from behind by a Detroit defensive lineman. Colin Kaepernick is 25th. Right behind Bay-mate Terrelle Pryor. And 12 slots below Alex Smith.

Quick, bury these guys for underachieving! It kills me how guys like Peter act like Robert Griffin and Colin Kaepernick have 30+ NFL starts under their belt and any struggles they may have is complete unexpected. The NFL adjusts and quarterbacks have to adjust as well. This happens to every young NFL quarterback.

Offensive rookie of the year? This morning, it’s Chicago guard Kyle Long. The human sack machine, Jay Cutler, has been sacked three times in three games.

Well, if Kyle Long is blocking for Jay Cutler at all five offensive line positions and is personally responsible for Cutler only being sacked three times in three games then he certainly should be Offensive Rookie of the Year. Peter has an obsession with the Long family. When Chris Long was drafted he was enamored with him and it seems Peter has quickly become enamored with Kyle Long. Also, what happened to Tavon Austin? Wasn't he the most undefendable wide receiver in the history of the NFL around mid-August?

Strange days indeed. On to the news of a particularly newsy Week 3.

Of course there were NFL games this past weekend too, but apparently these games didn't interest Peter enough to write about them since he only mentions the Week 3 games around the middle of Page 2 of MMQB and then gets around to the important business of briefly interviewing David Shaw.

Jim Harbaugh is a meteor in the coaching sky. A star.

This is how Peter starts off a discussion of Aldon Smith's DUI. Interesting way of starting the discussion. Peter would not dare criticize a well-liked NFL head coach for fear of that head coach being mad at him and deny Peter access to the team he may eventually want, so he has to tickle Harbaugh's ass with a feather before talking about Aldon Smith.

He and his team will recover from the events of the weekend; they’re  just too good, too talented. But the world will be watching this Aldon Smith rehab to see if Smith, and the 49ers, are seriously going to address a career-threatening problem, because there have to be legitimate questions about it after Smith played a full game Sunday.

Apparently he has a substance abuse problem and is taking an indefinite leave of absence to take care of this issue. It seems Smith has a career-threatening substance abuse problem. Of course it wasn't career-threatening enough for Smith to not play on Sunday, but he did take a leave of absence after the game. This isn't related to the performance-related leave of absence Aldon Smith took last year when Justin Smith was injured.

When the police arrived, he blew a .15 on the breathalyzer test, almost double the legal limit in California. Keep in mind, he was supposed to be at the team facility for meetings and practice within the hour, and he obviously would have been in no condition to be there.

I refuse to believe an NFL player would use alcohol or drugs prior to practicing with his team. This is unheard of and I refuse to believe this could ever happen.

Last season, a Niners special-teams player, Demarcus Dobbs, was arrested early on a Friday morning and charged with DUI and marijuana possession. The team left him home from a trip to play St. Louis that weekend, meaning Dobbs didn’t play. But Smith is not Demarcus Dobbs. Smith is one of the best defensive players in football, and different rules apply to great players than to marginal ones.

This is absolutely true, but I like how Peter just sort of accepts this as being a true fact and doesn't really have qualms with different players being treated differently. I wonder if he would be so accepting of this double standard if a different head coach applied this double standard to his players? After all, it was Peter who just this past summer criticized the Detroit Lions organization for not knowing about Titus Young's issues prior to drafting him. I guess the Lions deserve criticism for drafting Titus Young, but the application of a double standard when done by Jim Harbaugh is just a fact of NFL life that Peter accepts.

I reported last night on NBC’s Football Night in America that Smith would be entering an in-patient facility to deal with his problems—Smith has been arrested twice for DUI in the last 20 months, and he was stabbed at a house party in 2012, and sued from incidents at that party.

This is Aldon Smith's third year in the NFL. He has been arrested twice and stabbed once. Titus Young was arrested three times while in the NFL (though he did have trouble with teammates in college and in the NFL) and earlier this summer here is what Peter wrote about Young,

1. I think the logical question for the Ford family to ask its Lions personnel department this morning (if it hasn't already been asked six or eight times) is: How on God's green earth did you let Titus Young pass through our checking system and grade out high enough to be the 44th overall pick in 2011?
 
2. I think other teams have the same skeletons, and potential skeletons, in their closets. But to me, the Lions are different. They'd blown so many receiver picks over the years -- granted, in the Millen administration, not Martin Mayhew's -- and you can't go drafting scared. But Young missed much of his second season at Boise State for fighting a teammate. I liked the pick at the time, because he filled a major need to take pressure off Calvin Johnson. Young, if well-adjusted, would have been a great asset to Detroit. But I couldn't know what the Lions knew then; when you pick a player 44th overall, you've done significant work on him, and you should know of the problems that could surface later on. Character problems, maturity issues. Those are flaws we in the media can't know nearly as well as the teams. The Lions, I'm betting, knew what a risk Young might be.

I'm guessing the difference in Young and Smith (at least in Peter's mind) is the Lions should have known about Young's inability to stay out of trouble, while Smith's troubles are all new. Still, I would think if Peter is going to start criticizing NFL teams for drafting players that later get in trouble while playing in the NFL, shouldn't he be critical of the 49ers for drafting Aldon Smith? Either way it doesn't matter, but Peter plays favorites and he feels free to blame the Lions for not knowing what a risk Titus Young was, but since Aldon Smith got in no trouble prior to entering the NFL, that's the reason why Peter doesn't criticize the 49ers for even drafting him. Seems to me like Peter goes after low-hanging fruit and doesn't want to criticize the great Baalke and Harbaugh, at least it feels that way a little bit. 

And again, there’s no right answer here.” Maybe not—but unless this is a long, serious and intensive rehab process, the 49ers will look like users, and Smith will look like a pawn. We’ll be watching to see if Smith, and the 49ers, take this as seriously as they claimed they would Sunday night.

I would not have played Smith Sunday were it my decision. I wouldn’t have abandoned him and let him go off to get in more trouble than he already was in. He would have been with the team all weekend—at Saturday meetings, on the sideline Sunday—but there are some things that are just more important than playing in a football game. If it sends the wrong message to sit a guy and pay him $230,000, so be it. I just don’t think it’s right to let him play.

Peter bases his criticism of the 49ers on allowing Smith to play Sunday more than he bases any criticism on whether the 49ers personnel department should have known about Smith's troubles before drafting him. I'm guessing Peter bases his lack of criticism of the 49ers personnel department on two factors:

1. Smith appeared to be clean in college and not have substance abuse problems. Though, as Peter himself said when discussing Titus Young, the NFL teams drafting these players know what a risk the players are better than the media does.

2. The 49ers have a recent history of drafting well, so Peter gives them a pass for drafting a guy who has gotten into some legal trouble. It's Peter's own version of a double standard where he gives more leeway to personnel mistakes from teams who draft well.

One other thing: The next big issue on Roger Goodell’s agenda—and on DeMaurice Smith’s as well—has to be tougher penalties on DUIs. This isn’t a partisan issue. It’s potentially a life-and-death one, for the drivers and the innocents in their way.

Yeah, punish the players harder. That will fix the issue.

The Colts traded a first-round pick for Richardson, the third overall pick in the 2012 draft. On Sunday, the 250th overall pick in the 2007 draft, Ahmad Bradshaw, was Indy’s best back, rushing 19 times for 95 yards in a 27-7 upset win at San Francisco.

I still think the best place to find a franchise running back is in the first round of the draft, but I thought trading a first round pick for Richardson was a bit of an overpay. I don't see Richardson as a first round talent running back. He might be to the Colts though.

In 2011, the Heckert/Holmgren group traded the sixth pick in a very strong top of the first round (Von Miller, A.J. Green, Julio Jones, Aldon Smith, Patrick Peterson, J.J. Watt) to Atlanta for two first-rounders, a second-rounder and two fourths. What they got in return:

It wasn't a lot. I'll sum it up quickly.

Essentially, the bounty of picks the Browns received for the one the Falcons on Julio Jones resulted in one player likely to be an average to above-average starter: Phil Taylor, who plays about 60 percent of the defensive snaps. And it cost Cleveland the equivalent of Justin Houston to move up to get Taylor.

If this were Bill Simmons, he would then follow this up with an email from a pathetic Cleveland Browns fan bemoaning how bad the team is.

This is what happens when regimes value players differently. The new Browns don’t want the power back that Richardson is; these Browns want a shiftier, faster back.

Actually Rob Chudzinski doesn't want a running back. He wants to throw the football 50 times per game and never actually use the running back. As Carolina's offensive coordinator last year he had a shifty, faster back in DeAngelo Williams, a shifty power back in Jonathan Stewart and a power back in Mike Tolbert. Cam Newton led the team in rushing last year by the way. Chudzinski doesn't know what he wants in a running back because he doesn't plan on running the football.

“Continuity is invaluable,’’ Banner said Saturday. “But continuity for its own sake is not the ultimate solution. I don’t want a free pass. If in three or four years we aren’t positioned to win … I should have to deal with the consequences.’’ I’m not sitting here lobbying for Banner and Lombardi to stay if they blow these picks. But any smart football person would tell you a draft can’t be judged for two years at least, and three more prudently.

Fortunately, Mike Lombardi is a self-proclaimed genius, so the Browns should win back-to-back Super Bowls in no time.

Sunday’s game in San Francisco was a perfect illustration why GM Ryan Grigson made this deal. Offensive coordinator Pep Hamilton wants to be able to be a power running team. Not all the time, but when it suits his style. And watching the Colts grind out the win against what was supposed to be one of the best run defenses in football, you see why Richardson was important. The Colts entered the fourth quarter with a 13-7 lead. They ran the ball on 15 of 20 (non-penalized) snaps in the quarter. They held it for 10:51 of the 15-minute quarter. And they outscored the Niners 14-0 in the quarter. So what if it was more Ahmad Bradshaw than Richardson?

In one game this isn't a big deal, but if Ahmad Bradshaw is outplaying Trent Richardson over the entire season then "so what?" turns into the Colts trading a first round pick for a running back who is the second-best running back on the roster.

I don't hate the trade for Richardson or anything, but trading a first round pick for a running back just seems like something that will be considered ill-advised if the Colts don't end up with Richardson as their starting running back over the next three years.

Then Peter has three notes about the Week 3 NFL games and moves on to a quick interview with David Shaw.

A 34-second discussion with highly respected Stanford head coach David Shaw, about his NFL desires:

Me: “You tempted by the NFL?”

Shaw: “Nope.”

Liar.

Me: “No guarantees in the NFL. The grass isn’t always greener.”

Shaw: “When teams reached out to me last year, I said, ‘Okay, you tell me which NFL city is better than Palo Alto. And then explain that to my wife.’ ‘’

I'm sure your wife will have no problem finding somewhere nice to live once she is sitting on a nice, big pile of cash that an NFL team would offer Shaw to be their head coach. I always love the "wife excuse" used by head coaches on all coaching levels. As if a coach's wife is going to turn down her husband's salary being doubled simply because she likes living in a certain city.

Fine Fifteen

A list of randomly placed NFL teams from 1 to 15.

1. Denver (2-0). Just when you thought the season was setting up to be a nice little stroll to AFC home-field advantage, here are the 15 autumn days that will try John Fox’s soul: Nov. 17, Kansas City at home … Nov. 24, at New England … Dec. 1, at Kansas City.

It's very shocking to hear there the Broncos aren't just going to cruise to homefield advantage in the AFC. I thought for sure after two games the Broncos had homefield advantage locked up.

3. New Orleans (3-0). Saints started 0-3 last year. Allowed 40, 35 and 27 points. Saints 3-0 this year. Allowed 17, 14 and seven points. Rob Ryan for mayor.

It's the perfect Rob Ryan job. Lower expectations, become middle of the pack and then he is seen as a genius. Two years from now when the Saints are 20th in the NFL in total defense he won't be such a genius of course.

4. Chicago (3-0). Took the air out of Heinz Field in about 15 minutes. How about this: It’s Sept. 23, and the Bears have a two-game lead on the Packers in the NFC North.

How about this: It's September 23.

9. Baltimore (2-1). No Ray Rice with the explosive Texans coming to town, and the Ravens win by 21. That’s a big win for a team with a lot of new parts. And good contributions by newbies Daryl Smith and Tandon Doss (he’s sort of a newbie).

Oh, so the Ravens got a contribution from one of the players they acquired with the money they saved by trading Anquan Boldin and Tandon Doss got to play a larger part in the Ravens offense due to Anquan Boldin's absence? It's almost like the Ravens front office knows what they are doing.

12. Dallas (2-1). The Cowboys are the class of the NFC East by default—though they played well in embarrassing the Rams. DeMarco Murray needs to stay healthy, or the over-reliance on Tony Romo will hurt their chances of playing deep into January.

Oh, so you mean a team's starting running back is important to that team's playoff chances? What a shocking revelation! And here I thought if Marshawn Lynch got hurt it wouldn't affect the Seahawks at all.

15. (tie) Tennessee (2-1). Sunday was the first day I have watched the Jake Locker Titans and said: I can see this guy being a good quarterback for a long time.

Wait, what? Peter King hasn't watched the Titans play with Jake Locker as their quarterback? This has to be untrue. Locker started 11 games for the Titans last year and 3 games this year and this is the first time Peter has seen him play? This has to be sportswriting malpractice. There's no excuse to report on the NFL and have not seen one of the 32 quarterbacks in the NFL play when he has started 13 games already in the NFL. Peter didn't even DVR one game and watch Locker play? How is this even possible?

Offensive Players of the Week

Brian Hoyer, QB, Cleveland. Roll this one around in your head: The third-string quarterback for Cleveland won a road game over a 2012 playoff team and had a 30-of-54 performance in a stunning post-Trent-trade victory. (I understand the three interceptions are big minuses, but drive after drive Hoyer showed he belonged on this stage.) No way he can be yanked out of the starting job now.

Notice Hoyer threw 54 passes. Chudzinski had no issue with the Browns trading his best running back because he has no interest in Norv Turner calling running plays.

Ahmad Bradshaw, RB, Indianapolis. You saw the will of a very good running back in the fourth quarter at San Francisco. Bradshaw, who had to hear for three days before the game that the Colts finally got a franchise back to shore up a weak position, came out and bled the clock in the fourth quarter like Emmitt Smith. He ran it 11 times for 62 yards when everyone in the stadium knew the run was coming—and when coach Chuck Pagano had Trent Richardson next to him on the bench for much of the quarter. For the day, Bradshaw ran 19 times for 95 yards in a win no one saw coming.

I'm not even sure why they played the game since it was just assumed the Colts would lose to the 49ers. Why did the Colts even travel to play the game they just figured they were going to lose anyway?

“I believe the safest pick in the draft—beyond Andrew Luck and Robert Griffin III—is Alabama running back Trent Richardson. He’s a blue-chip player and has all the skills to quickly establish himself as a top-five player at his position. Forget the nonsense about not taking backs early—everyone would love the chance to get this guy.”

—Mike Lombardi, current Cleveland GM and former NFL.com columnist and NFL Network analyst, writing on NFL.com on April 23, 2012, three days before Richardson was picked third overall in the draft by the Browns.

Yeah, but in fairness to Mike Lombardi, he didn't know he would be the GM of the Browns a year later so therefore he should be able to say anything he wants as a columnist and analyst without having to actually believe it or follow through on his words once he got a GM job.

I have scores—hundreds, probably—of quotes from my past that are blush-inducing, and very wrong, and which I wish I’d never written or said. But I can’t imagine one Lombardi would like to have back more from his days in the media than this one.

Oh, but Peter it is all a part of Mike Lombardi's master plan. After all, the Super Bowl trophy is named after him.

“How do you make your team better by trading your best player? … If I’m the coach and someone came in and did that, I’d say, ‘Okay, fire me, or I’m going to quit.’ Or we’re both going to go to the owner and talk about this, and then we’ll see who’s still standing.”

—Mike Holmgren, the former Cleveland club president who oversaw the trade up for, and drafting of, Trent Richardson before the Browns cleaned house after the 2012 season.

You make your team better by acquiring a 1st round pick in exchange for your team's best running back. Also, calling Richardson the Browns best player says a lot more about the Browns as a team than it does about Richardson as a player.

Then Peter talks about Peyton Manning trying to break a record held by Brett Favre. "It's just an obvious attempt to talk about Brett Favre in MMQB," is what I would write if I were a jaded individual.

Mr. Starwood Preferred Member Travel Note of the Week

Found myself in a new hotel, the Residence Inn Fenway, in room-starved Boston Tuesday night (big convention in town) after doing some business for The MMQB during the day in the western suburbs. So of course, staying in a hotel just across Brookline Avenue from Fenway Park, I wanted to attend the game. Before heading over, I had this only-in-Boston moment: On the sidewalk outside the hotel were two small groups: a family of five, with three young boys all in Red Sox gear and caps, ready to walk over to the game. And three men dressed in monks’ robes; two of the monks carried black backpacks with MIT logos. I loved the diversity of the Boston area when I lived there, with so many universities around.

While this specific situation is probably exclusive to, well this specific situation, I'm not sure this is an only-in-Boston moment and a similar scene of diversity can't be seen in other large cities around the United States. I know Peter wants to feel like Boston is special though.

1. I think this is what I liked about Week 3:

a. The blitz pickup by Jamaal Charles. Did you see how he demolished Eagles safety Earl Wolff?

I didn't see it because I've never seen Jamaal Charles play, but I hear he is impressive. My name is Peter King.

h. Chuck Pagano can coach.

He can, can't he? It's almost like he doesn't need a tragedy to occur in order to get his players motivated to play on Sunday.

j. Geno Smith’s intriguing. Makes too many errors, but he also makes two or three throws a game that make you say: This guy’s got a real chance to make it.

So Peter King has seen Geno Smith play or is he just hearing from other people that Geno Smith makes a few impressive throws every game? I ask simply because I still can't believe Peter has not seen Jake Locker play quarterback for the Titans and Locker has been in the NFL for going on three years now. At this point, I don't trust anything Peter says because I am wondering if he actually watches a certain team even once during a season.

m. Ezekiel Ansah caught RG3 from behind Sunday. I think that says a little more about Ansah right now. The guy’s got difference-making speed.

It sounded like earlier in the column Peter was saying the fact Griffin got caught from behind said something about him as a quarterback and Griffin's ability to run after coming back from knee surgery. From earlier in this MMQB:

Robert Griffin III is the 20th-rated passer in football, and, scrambling in the pocket Sunday, was caught from behind by a Detroit defensive lineman.

I think the part where Peter says Griffin getting caught from behind by a defensive end says more about the defensive end should have been included in his initial comment about Griffin getting caught from behind by a Detroit Lions defensive lineman. Not including this comment gives a different perspective on what Griffin getting caught from behind by a defensive end means. What do I know though, I'm not an editor.

2. I think this is what I didn’t like about Week 3:

a. Mike Vick reverting to the turnover-prone Mike Vick.

I think, and I only have evidence given by a decade of seeing Vick play in the NFL, that turnover-prone Mike Vick may be the real Mike Vick.

b. Aldon Smith and Von Miller, top-10 picks in 2011 and big, big stars. Miller is suspended for six weeks. Smith will be out indefinitely. Disconcerting is what it is. Smith and Miller could learn from a player picked No. 11 in that first round, beneath them both: J.J. Watt.

I think we could all learn something from J.J. Watt. He's probably going to be a Senator one day, right beside Robert Griffin. Watt reminds me of a young Lyndon B. Johnson.

d. How is that Dez Bryant red-zone TD catch not offensive pass interference? He pushed the defensive back down, then turned around and caught the pass. Yes, he and Cortland Finnegan both made contact, but Bryant extended both arms and pushed Finnegan down.

(Peter's phone rings and he picks it up) "Hey, it's Peter, what can I do for you?"

(Marvin Demoff) "You answer the phone like a moron...well, actually that makes sense. Anyway, did you see Cortland Finnegan get pushed down?"

(Peter) "That I did see. I was OUTRAGED at the audacity of Dez Bryant. Though that play had little effect on the outcome of the game."

(Marvin Demoff) "Mention that in MMQB. Not asking, telling. Do it."

(Peter) "I would, but you know, it didn't affec---"

(Marvin Demoff) "Are you too stupid to understand what 'Not asking, telling" means? Do it."

(Peter) "Yes sir, I will do that---" (Marvin Demoff hangs up)

h. Year too early on the Rams optimism.

It's not Peter's fault. He just wants to be right about the Rams so badly, but he can't make them a playoff team simply by constantly talking them up as one. It's very disappointing. On a positive note, the Rams had a fantastic draft. Allow Peter to tell you about the Rams fantastic draft and what a great coach Jeff "8-8" Fisher is...

a. Weiss, on taking the settlement instead of fighting the NFL longer: “People say you only got $765 million. I’d rather have that than $1.5 billion 10 years down the road.”

Hmmm...

6. I think this is one interesting take on the Trent Richardson trade, from former longtime NFL assistant Mike Westhoff after watching the narrow Week 2 Miami win over Indianapolis: “I think if the Colts had Trent Richardson in that game and could have controlled the clock better against the Dolphins, they’d have won that game.”

Apparently Trent Richardson has turned into Adrian Peterson and no one told me.

8. I think I never thought I would see a Tom Coughlin team look as rag-tag and feeble as these Giants.

It's a shame the Giants did look so badly without any help from the team they played.

9. I think I love the nickname Mike Florio has adopted on the grounds where the Cleveland Browns play: The Factory of Sadness. (Browns fan Mike Polk Jr. dubbed the stadium that in a YouTube clip.)

NBC sports synergy at its best.

10. I think these are my non-NFL thoughts of the week:

c. Starting Tulane quarterback Nick Montana’s four-game numbers: 77 of 135 (.570), 919 yards, eight touchdowns, three picks. Son of Joe.

Oh, I thought Peter was referring to Tony's kid.

d. Couldn’t be more surprised about a baseball season. For Boston to clinch the division with nine days left in the regular season … I mean, bizarre. Baseball is such a mysterious game. I liked this quote from Red Sox owner John Henry to Gordon Edes after the Friday night clincher, referring to former manager Terry (Tito) Francona: “Tito used to say if we had nine Dustin Pedroias, we’d be champions. This year, I felt like we had 25.”

If the Red Sox had nine Dustin Pedroias then they would have nine guys who can play second base and no one to pitch for them...that's if I take this comment literally of course.

h. Everyone seems to think The Newsroom will be back for year three.

Thanks for the update. "The Newsroom" does seem like the kind of show that Peter would watch though, doesn't it? Peter is the kind of guy who watched "The West Wing" and "The Office" every week, but hasn't seen an episode of "Breaking Bad" or "Parks and Recreation."

i. In case you didn’t catch Jeff Garlin’s Ten Things I Think on The MMQB the other day, he said his gut feeling is Larry David will get the Curb Your Enthusiasm gang back together for another season—at some point. “I don’t ask,’’ he said.

BREAKING NEWS: There may be another season of "Curb Your Enthusiasm" in the future or maybe not. No one knows for sure.

l. Congrats, Max Scherzer. Took you a long time to get to 20, but that shouldn’t derail your Cy Young.

Peter is also the type of guy who thinks if a pitcher stays at 19 wins too long then this could derail his Cy Young chances. Again, not surprising.

The Adieu Haiku
Yo, Spencer Lanning:
What a day you had v. Vikes.
You sell popcorn too?

Yo, Peter:
The haikus are dumb.
Why not stop?