MMQB Review: To Peter King's Amazement, Ruby Tuesday's Doesn't Have the Best Beer Selection Edition

Peter King described laying his dog Bailey to rest last week and included more discussion of the Richie Incognito-Miami Dolphins-Jonathan Martin situation since he wasn't too interested in the games that occurred during Week 10. Peter reveled in the Rams good 2013 draft because Tavon Austin had a spectacular performance for the Rams during Week 10. Peter also relayed personal messages to friends in his "Things He Thinks" since apparently he doesn't have the capability to send a text message to these people. This week Peter talks about how the Broncos protected Peyton Manning (it's shocking the Chiefs lost now that they weren't going up against a team's backup quarterback), messy and rainy fields, recalls JFK's assassination (in order to kill space I would assume) and how he doesn't understand how a bug gets in a hotel room. Shouldn't bugs know he is the great Peter King and leave him alone?

We have great and controversial events to discuss, and we shall. But there are great and controversial events every week in pro football, and I’ll get to the rise of a battered Denver offensive line, to the 113-minute weather/tornado-threat delay, and to a foul that, in today’s football, simply must be called. But first …

What great and important event occurred that could cause Peter King to ignore the results of this past week's NFL games? What has happened to place all of these immediate events on the back burner and requires our full attention right now?

Friday is the 50-year anniversary of the assassination of President Kennedy.

A murder that happened 50 years ago. Of course.

It is also the five-year anniversary of the first of three strokes suffered by a great and irascible football writer, Paul Zimmerman, who was the king of the hill when I got to Sports Illustrated in 1989. A week never goes by that one of you, either on email, through Twitter or seeing me in an airport, doesn’t ask, How’s Dr. Z?

Not exactly the most urgent of anniversaries that should be celebrated prior to actually writing about the NFL games for Week 11, but I should just be happy that Peter King isn't trying to extort money from his readers to pay for a risky treatment for Dr. Z in Michigan like he did a few years ago. By the way, I don't remember Peter ever saying what happened with that risky treatment that Peter was begging his readers for money to help Dr. Z finance. I'm guessing it didn't help Dr. Z very much, but it's very kind of Peter to take his readers money and then not tell us how the treatment worked out. That's still one of the most irritating things Peter has done. As opposed to using some of his and his other 1%-er friends to help pay for Dr. Z's treatment, Peter asked his readers to help chip in money to pay for Dr. Z's treatment, despite the fact Dr. Z made more money than probably 95% of Peter's MMQB audience in a given year and if a layperson emailed Peter for a few bucks to pay for the same treatment this email would probably go ignored. I thought it was a great cause, but I'm not sure I like how Peter went about funding the cause.

Or, When will Paul start writing again? This week, you’ll find out. NFL Films dispatched ace Ken Rodgers to produce and actor Tom Wopat to narrate the current story of 81-year-old Paul Zimmerman, and it airs beginning Tuesday night at 10:30 Eastern on NFL Network,

And why wouldn't it be narrated by Luke Duke?

The final score Sunday night: Denver 27, Kansas City 17, Peyton Manning sacks 0, Peyton Manning knockdowns 0.

Peyton Manning wins in important games this week 1, times Gregg Easterbrook will mention the "Peyton Paradox" this week 0.

Denver came in with a plan: Run the ball enough to take time off the clock and take pressure off Manning; throw the ball quickly, before the heat can hit home. Manning’s had many better days in the NFL, but an interception- and sack-free game? Against the ball-hawking Chiefs? He’ll take it.

Good to hear Peyton Manning will take a victory. I was concerned he might decide the victory was actually a loss and not accept the victory, allowing the Chiefs to keep their perfect record.

Denver doesn’t get to be fat and happy for long. Two more emotional games await in short order: at New England Sunday night (Manning-Brady XIV happens in Foxboro), and a rematch with the Chiefs in Kansas City seven days later. The Chiefs have to be careful. They’ve got San Diego and Denver coming up, then finish with three of their final four on the road. 

The Chiefs shouldn't worry, I'm sure they will run into a few backup or third-string quarterbacks somewhere over the next few weeks.

They’ve gotten just one sack in the past three games. Defensive coordinator Bob Sutton has to figure a way for Tamba Hali and Justin Houston, particularly, to disrupt the quarterback more.

It's always funny how sportswriters change their perspective after a team loses. Peter comes into this MMQB describing the Chiefs pass rush as ferocious, thinks it was a great job the Broncos did in protecting Manning and says they are the NFL leader in sacks...which is all true. Once the Broncos have won the game all of a sudden Peter points out the Chiefs need to do something to improve their pass rush because they have only one sack in the last three games. So either the tough pass rush isn't so tough or opposing teams have figured out how to counter the Chiefs pass rush. It's just funny how the Chiefs pass rush goes from tough to struggling after one game. The pass rush that Peter thinks was so great suddenly isn't sacking the quarterback enough.

My first thought, for much of the first four-and-a-half hours of the game, which had a 113-minute delay in the middle of first quarter because of severe weather (an estimated 70 tornadoes touched down in the Midwest Sunday), was that this was Exhibit A for postponing a game for a day.

Peter's second though? The spread in the press box is running low, so he better hit up the concession stands now if he expects to get more food.

The delay got so long they stopped selling beer in the stadium,

Except for the Allagash White beer stand, they stayed open so Peter enjoyed the sweet, but not too filling taste of Allagash White beer and maybe if he keeps mentioning beer over and over in his column some brewery will send him some free beer. How long does Peter have to keep mentioning beer before he starts to get some free shit?

But with about nine minutes left in the fourth quarter, I went down to the field to watch the rest of the game from a tunnel. 

The Allagash White beer stand was closed and the pressbox spread had eventually run out. Much like a beer who has finished hibernating, it was time to go in search of food.

The field was a cow pasture, and players, officials and (during TV timeouts) the grounds crew tried to tamp down the turf after the torrential rain ruined it. And I thought: How great it is to see a game in the elements like this.

It's easy to understand how great it is to see an NFL game played in elements like this when you aren't the one on the field trying to run on a field where even the smallest misstep could result in a sprained ankle and every divot provides a new and exciting chance to blow out your knee.

You hate to make the fans wait out a two-hour delay, but would it have been more inconvenient, say, to reschedule the game for Monday at noon?

Yes, it would have been very inconvenient. People in Chicago have jobs. Well, maybe they have jobs. After all, those Wrigley Field day games are fairly well-attended, so maybe these Bears fans would make due and attend the game.

Of all the games I’ve covered, only a Giants preseason game at foggy, rainy Cleveland in the ’80s, at the old Cleveland Stadium, was like this one. I was looking for the ghost of Jim Brown that day; and Sunday, I wondered how many of these games Luckman, Sayers and Butkus played in.

It's fun to be nostalgic for a time that may not have existed while the players on the field are running around playing football on a torn-up field that greatly increases the risk one of these football players would suffer a severe injury.

Our Robert Klemko wandered into the Bears’ locker room and found another oddity: Some players slept during the break.

Is this really odd? Professional athletes take a nap before a game all the time. This was just another long wait for a game to start to some of the Bears players. I thought it was clear there was going to be at least an hour wait for the game to start again, so a nap may have been in order.

At least two Bears gave in to the urge, and what they did next kept Chicago in the NFC North hunt. Backup quarterback Josh McCown, starting in place of the injured Jay Cutler, laid down and began visualizing plays, and before he knew it he was asleep. “I closed my eyes and just tried to think about the game,” McCown said, “and I think I dozed off.” Reserve defensive end David Bass did the same: “I napped for 15 to 20 minutes. It was refreshing.” Bass came out after the interrupted first quarter and picked off a Joe Flacco throw before it passed the line of scrimmage, returning it for a 24-yard touchdown in the second quarter.

I'm sure Gregg Easterbrook will have a brand new theory this week about how if a player sleeps during halftime then he will play better in the second half.

The more the NFL can hark back to a simpler day, a muddier day, the better.

It's kind of dangerous to play on a field like that.

Three quick takes from the day:

Make it quick. I want to talk more about the JFK assassination.

1. Tony Corrente got the call right in New Orleans. With 3:18 left and San Francisco up by three in a crucial game between the Niners and Saints, linebacker Ahmad Brooks sacked Drew Brees and forced a fumble, which the Niners recovered. The problem was the sack, and the mechanics of it. Brooks clotheslined Brees on a hit that started above the sternum and finished with him forcibly sending Brees to the ground by contacting the neck with his forearm. Corrente called a personal foul on Brooks, gave the ball back to New Orleans, and the Saints went on to win with two Garrett Hartley field goals in the final three minutes.

Oh, the Saints. Always the first to cry when they feel they have been wronged and never wanting to hear about when they get a little bit lucky and win a game. This was a penalty, I guess, but it's a little bit lucky the Saints got away with this victory. I guess they have some good karma for all the bad stuff they went through last season...none of which was their fault of course.

3. Washington tackle Trent Williams made a serious accusation against game umpire Roy Ellison. During the Philly-Washington game, Williams said Ellison called him a “garbage a–, disrespectful motherf–ker.” The league said it would investigate. That’s a stunning charge, and reporters in the Washington locker room afterward say other players backed up Williams’ account.

BREAKING NEWS: A professional athlete's teammates support something he says and won't publicly contradict him publicly. Who would have ever thought Williams' teammates would back him up regarding something he claims was said to him? Is Williams sure the official didn't say "It's garbage day, so respect your mother for sure?"

It’s certainly possible that Carolina could go 3-0 against the Patriots and Saints in the next six weeks.

No, it's not. Let's pull back the reins a little bit. This seems to be the year of Peter King taking a small sample size and turning this sample size into a larger trend. He's taken the result of a few games and managed to try to extrapolate that into what "could" happen later in the year, when it is simply too presumptive. Carolina won a close, controversial game over the Patriots. Let's not hand them two victories over the Saints quite yet.

How important is home-field advantage in the NFC? Let’s examine the two prime contenders for the No. 1 seed—Seattle (10-1) and New Orleans (8-2)—over recent games. (I’m going to use New Orleans’ stats for this year only, because the absence of Sean Payton and the bounty scandal skews the 2012 numbers. But I’ll use 2012 and 2013 for Seattle, because the team has been basically the same for two seasons, without any football tornadoes ravaging the win-loss record.)

The only reliable data to be used here is data that Peter has manipulated to help prove his point. The 2013 Seattle team isn't really the same as the 2012 Seattle team, especially considering they have added Percy Harvin. Who am I to allow reality to mess with the data and main idea behind Peter's comparison though?

The point of this comparison is both teams are better home teams than road teams. The margin of victory is 13-17 points less for the Saints and Seahawks on the road as compared to their margin of victory at home.

Seattle could win at New Orleans. New Orleans could win at Seattle. But the edge for the home teams in their noisy venues is so big that it will be a major factor in January.

Yeah, it "could" happen. Just a few weeks ago Peter had Peyton Manning playing a wild card road game against the Patriots and that's not the position Manning and the Broncos are currently in. Peter is enjoying a little speculation this season.

First, the rules: By NFL bylaws, all players are tested for recreational drugs once a year, sometime in a 16-week period between April 20 and Aug. 9. If a player tests positive in that solitary test, he is eligible to be tested at random after that. If he is clean, he can do recreational drugs, such as marijuana, without fear of the league as long as he doesn’t exhibit any aberrant behavior or get caught publicly (as with Dwayne Bowe last week). So the vast majority of NFL players are able, as long as they behave, to smoke marijuana at will after the spring/summer test.

It's fine to smoke pot, just don't get caught. I wonder when it will be we found out this is the NFL's policy about PED's as well? It can't be long now until a big NFL PED scandal starts. Who am I kidding though? Human beings are naturally as strong and big as NFL players are. It's just all the hard work they put in that helps them look cut and sculpted.

Fine Fifteen

2. Seattle (10-1). Percy Harvin must love his new gig. Got his feet wet Sunday (one target, one catch, 17 yards) and now the Seahawks have a week off with the bye. What a country!

Because I'm sure Percy Harvin doesn't enjoy playing football and isn't chomping at the bit to get back on the field.

3. Kansas City (9-1). To those who would have the Chiefs plummet because of the loss last night, I ask you this: KC was a decided underdog, playing at Denver. If you rated the Chiefs low before the game, fine. If you rated them high and would drop them a few spots this morning, I am confused.

This from Peter King, the guy who had the Chiefs #1 in his Fine Fifteen for two straight weeks, then put the Chiefs #2 in the Fine Fifteen leading up to the Broncos-Chiefs game even though the Chiefs had a bye week and there was no logical reason to drop them from the top spot in the rankings at that point. So it's okay to drop the Chiefs a spot on their bye week, but dropping them a few spots after they lose a game is just crazy to Peter.

5. New Orleans (8-2). Drew Brees harped on turnovers, and not committing them. The Saints committed three—and still beat the Niners.

The 49ers committed one turnover and held the ball for 25 minutes of the game, so that didn't help their chances at victory.

8. San Francisco (6-4). Let’s see how they react to playing for the fifth seed. Hard to imagine they can finish any higher now.

It's time for Gregg Easterbrook to point out the read-option doesn't work anymore because the 49ers have lost two games in a row. When the 49ers are 11-5 and are a really strong fifth seed I don't think the 49ers players will care. The 49ers play Washington, St. Louis, Seattle, Tampa Bay, Atlanta, and Arizona to end the season. 11-5 is within reach with the Rams and Seahawks both having to come to San Francisco to play.

13. Arizona (6-4). Won three in a row. Carson Palmer with 660 passing yards in his last two (over 400 Sunday at Jacksonville). Not a coincidence.

The Cardinals have won three in a row over the Jaguars, Falcons and Texans. It's not a coincidence they have won three in a row playing those three teams.

15. Green Bay (5-5). You tell me how long Aaron Rodgers will be out, and I’ll tell you when I’ll re-insert the Pack among the relevant teams.

But Bob McGinn says the Packers have planned for Rodgers to be out for a while and they are one of the best prepared teams in the NFL should their starting quarterback get injured. Just put Seneca Wallace in there, he'll fix everything.

Offensive Players of the Week

Matt McGloin, quarterback, Oakland. How insane is football? McGloin was camp fodder, the fourth passer in camp for the Raiders, after not being drafted last April. On Sunday, he started an NFL game for Oakland, completed 18 of 32 passes for 197 yards, with three touchdowns and no interceptions, as Oakland stunned Houston 28-23.

Actually, if Peter had paid attention to the Raiders during the preseason he would know that McGloin looked really good in training camp, so good he beat out 2013 4th round pick Tyler Wilson for the 3rd QB spot. McGloin was camp fodder, but it was clear to the Raiders fairly quickly that McGloin could play.

Just watch him, and you see why he might have a chance to stick in the league. He’s confident, throws a good ball and looks like he has a chance to be accurate downfield.

Maybe you should have watched him in training camp, because these seem to be the reports that were coming out of Raiders camp. They did cut Tyler Wilson to give him the job and felt good enough to cut Matt Flynn and make McGloin the backup quarterback. How ironic would it be if the Raiders spent a 1st and 2nd round choice on Palmer, spent a supplemental draft choice on Pryor, spent late round picks for Flynn, a fourth round pick on Tyler Wilson, and then the best quarterback for the Raiders over the next few years is an undrafted player? I'm getting WAY ahead of myself, but I do appreciate a little irony if it should play out this way.

Greg Schiano, head coach, Tampa Bay. Three weeks ago, fans left Raymond James Stadium with bags over their heads after a dispiriting 31-13 loss to Carolina. Since then, with every fan leaving this season, and this head coach, for dead, the Bucs flew to Seattle and bolted to a 21-0 lead over the two-TD-favorite Seahawks before losing in overtime; beat Miami on a Thursday night; then, on Sunday, routed the woebegone Falcons 41-28. The Bucs are still paying for the sins of starting 0-8, for sure. But 2-8, and playing hard, feels hugely different than 0-8.

The Buccaneers are going to be the Chiefs of next year if they get a head coach in Tampa Bay that commands the respect of the players and gets the team on the right track. A new coach is all that is needed because there is a lot of talent on the roster.

Please move away from the windows and the front row of the press box. Severe weather is approaching.”

—A warning in the press box at Soldier Field Sunday, as a series of black clouds approached the 
stadium.
In other words, Those windows in front of you might get blown out. We’d like to keep you scribes around for the second half.

So naturally Peter began snapping pictures of the field. No, he really did. One of the pictures he took is in this week's MMQB.

“Absolutely not.”

—Indianapolis coach Chuck Pagano, asked Friday if the club had buyer’s remorse over trading its top draft choice in 2014 for Trent Richardson in September.

I realize Pagano can't tell the truth, but the Colts have to be having some sort of remorse over trading their 2014 1st round pick for Trent Richardson. It doesn't look like a very good trade at all.

The trade was two months ago today. While I am not ready to say it’s a debacle of a deal, Richardson has not done well in either making people miss or powering out of the grasp of tacklers at the line of scrimmage.

Trent Richardson didn't really make people miss or get out of the tacklers' grasp in Cleveland also and it was generally chalked up to playing behind a sub-par offensive line. I'm not against a team trading a first round pick for a running back or drafting a running back in the first round, but this trade doesn't look very good for the Colts right now. As I've said before, they are winning so no one notices right now, but be sure Bill Barnwell will do an entire column on the GM missteps made by Ryan Grigson as soon as the Colts start losing a few games in a row. Barnwell has to see a team start losing before he decides to pummel that team's GM for a few missteps...or at least that's how it seems.

“We’re going to stay patient,’’ said Pagano. “His numbers will come. His yards will come … We miss a block here or there and a guy is sitting there free in the hole. I don’t know if he’s snake bit, I don’t know what the heck is going on.

Trent Richardson isn't a very good running back. Also, running backs don't generally take time to adjust to running the football in the NFL. It's not like the quarterback or wide receiver position where a player might take a few seasons to start producing. Other than being good in pass protection, a running back usually doesn't take a couple of seasons to be ready to play at the NFL level.

Eight games is too early to call the Richardson trade a terrible one. But it’s not too early to start thinking it.

While I do think it is too early to call the Richardson trade a terrible one, his performance in Indianapolis is similar to his performance in Cleveland, only worse. So I don't think it looks very good for Richardson because he wasn't exactly a game breaker in Cleveland either and he seems to be trending the wrong way.

“I don’t think it will ever go away. Just that little chip. It’s not anger or resentment or anything like that. But it’s a little chip.”

—Saints quarterback Drew Brees, to me, on how he’ll always carry the feeling of the 2012 league sanctions over the Saints’ bounty scandal with him.

Drew Brees is insufferable. At least the Patriots had the decency to quietly steam behind the scenes about the Spygate sanctions placed on them by Roger Goodell rather than whining publicly like children for being punished for something the evidence appeared to point towards being true.

And also, that "little chip" is anger and resentment. Otherwise it wouldn't be a chip. Stop trying to defend your teammates who took bounties out on opposing quarterbacks while still trying to maintain your clean image as a nice guy. You are angry, just say it.

The killing of the president is one of my first vivid memories. For those too young to remember it (meaning most of you), I’d recommend getting educated about it this week. It was quite an extraordinary time in the country, an extraordinarily sad time.

Yes, Google it and you may one day learn about the JFK assassination and why it seems 45% of people who have the first name "John" have "Kennedy" as their middle name. You could also watch "JFK" by Oliver Stone and learn about the JFK assassination...or maybe go to school to learn about it.

Mr. Starwood Preferred Member Travel Note of the Week
 
I have five:

Oh, only five of them?

2. Thought I’d have a chance to try one of the autumnal Michigan brews during a meal stop at Ruby Tuesday’s in Grand Rapids.

A person is just setting themselves up for disappointment when they go searching for something outside of food at Ruby Tuesday's. I'm pretty sure this is in the Bible and/or the Koran. Peter is fishing in the wrong pond if he thinks he can find a good autumnal brew at Ruby Tuesday's.

Bell’s Brewery, maybe, from nearby Kalamazoo; the Winter White or the Octoberfest, maybe. Nope. Largely chain beer, except for one Brooklyn selection. There’s a thriving Michigan beer culture, and none of it here. Why, Ruby Tuesday’s? Why?

Because it's a chain restaurant that wants to sell popular beers, food and liquor and aren't in the business of being known for their vast beer selection. I don't know why Peter would think Ruby Tuesday's would have a vast beer selection.

3. Killed two flies in my room and relocated a ladybug from the room desk in the Chicago O’Hare Marriott over the weekend. What’s that all about?

Maybe you need to take a shower? Obviously these insects don't know that you are the great Peter King, they had no business being in your room, and they should travel down the hall to the room of middle class people who won't be disgusted by the sight of insects in their room because they are so poor.

Insects have no place anywhere near Peter King. At least the free coffee was delicious at the O'Hare Marriott, though Peter did go to the lobby to try some of the Chicago beer culture and the O'Hare didn't have any local beers. Why, O'Hare Marriott, why?

5. Passed a nut shop in the O’Hare terminal Saturday advertising toffee-covered nuts, calling them “luxurious.” Synonyms for “luxurious’’ in my online dictionary: opulent, extravagant, palatial. Never really thought of a toffee-covered nut as opulent or palatial, but maybe that’s just me.

I've never used the term precocious repeatedly to describe adult men, so to each his own I guess.

“Marcus Mariota in 2013: 25TD, 0 INT.
“Nick Foles in 2013: 16TD, 0 INT.
“Think Chip Kelly’s offense works?’’
 
—@nfldraftscout, Matt Miller, NFL writer for Bleacher Report, on Saturday night.

Now all of a sudden because the Eagles are winning games Chip Kelly's offense works in the NFL again. It's amazing how just a few weeks ago he was being counted out, but now he's an offensive genius again.

“President Kennedy 50 years ago today was at home in Palm Beach-attended church, watched @ChicagoBears v @packers, screened film ‘Tom Jones.’ ”

—@BeschlossDC, presidential historian Michael Beschloss, on Sunday, documenting how John F. Kennedy spent the last Sunday of his life 50 years ago.

Peter King is very serious about commemorating the 50th anniversary of JFK's death. I hope he knows that Chris Matthews currently is the Peter King to JFK's Brett Favre, so Peter needs to back off Matthews' man.

Ten Things I Think I Think
 
1. I think this is what I liked about Week 11:
 
a. Great point by Raiders beat man Steve Corkran: “Matt McGloin went from camp arm in late April to Raiders starting QB on Sunday. No way anyone saw that happening.”

Yeah, probably not, but it wasn't entirely out of the blue. I didn't pay much attention to the Raiders during Training Camp, but everything I did hear involved Matt McGloin looking very impressive and it was constantly stated the Raiders were going to have to find a way to get him on the roster.

h. So Nick Foles wasn’t a big star Sunday. He also didn’t make a big mistake.

Okay. Take it easy. I'm not sure who is criticizing Nick Foles for not playing well. No need to get defensive about it.

l. A 31-point quarter against Cleveland. Now that’s something I didn’t think would happen to these Browns. Defensive and special-teams touchdowns helped.

Considering the Bengals picked up three first downs in the first half, I would say that defensive and special teams touchdowns did help the Bengals have a 31-point quarter.

2. I think this is what I didn’t like about Week 11:

a. The Steelers’ throwup uniforms. I mean, their throwback uniforms.
 
b. If Dan and Art Rooney look at those prison uniforms and do anything but wretch, I’d be stunned.
 
c. Please don’t humor the Steelers by giving your Steeler fan friend one of those things for the holidays.

Shouldn't this all be one topic as opposed to three separate topics? Peter hasn't changed topics, yet he puts each thought next to a new letter of the alphabet. I'm not sure that's how an outline is supposed to work.

j. Live by the Stafford, die by the Stafford.

I see what you did there, Peter. But didn't Stafford's fake spike against the Cowboys hail the beginning of a brand new Matthew Stafford? I think that's what I was lead to believe as Peter King wrote so admiringly just a few weeks ago. It seems Stafford hasn't changed. Who woulda thunk it?

3. I think this is the moral of the story in the Ed Reed-being-cut-by-Houston-after-making-$5.4-million-for-275-mostly-invisible-snaps debacle: It’s okay to pay for a name and leadership in a veteran player who is far over the hill … but base the pay on performance. For Reed, the Texans were a gold watch before retirement. But instead of Swiss Army, he was a Rolex, and after his recent dip in performance with the Ravens, Houston just paid him too much. In a tight-cap era, with too many stars on defense to pay already, Reed, at his age, was too luxurious.

Says Peter King using his masterful grasp of hindsight. I remember Peter being very concerned this offseason that the Ravens were losing their veteran leadership on defense (which is a valid concern), but at no point do I recall Peter mentioning that this was a smart move and Reed was "far over the hill" or anything of the like.

4. I think the American sports media fired Greg Schiano too early.

He's won two games this year. I think Peter King is overstating how not-fired Greg Schiano should be. I get it. Schiano is one of Peter's boys from Rutgers, but I don't know if winning four or five games is enough to help Schiano keep his job. What may help Schiano keep his job is the Buccaneers don't want to pay three more years of his contract and then pay for a new head coach.

6. I think you may never hear it from Ben Tate, because he’s not the kind to talk about his pain. But the man has four cracked ribs, and he got crunched solidly by the Raiders three or four times Sunday, including one accordion tackle that made me cringe. Nineteen carries for 88 yards, in this dirge of a Houston season … pretty impressive.

Ben Tate is running for a new contract after this season. He isn't running with cracked ribs because he really likes the Texans organization and team. He knows this is his chance with Foster injured to show what he can do and he won't let four cracked ribs hold him back. I doubt it's about the team anymore than it is about wanting to get paid after this season.

10. I think these are my non-football thoughts of the week:

e. I’ll ask you nicely, college football: Stop with the timeout after first downs. Some of these games … interminable.

Says the guy who this week wrote in praising fashion about an NFL game that went nearly six hours due to a long delay for the weather. College football games are long, but it's not like NFL games are excessively shorter.

Let's look at some of these non-football thoughts of Peter's:

b. Also on that three-man Hightower crew, as a warmup to his ref stint Sunday at Soldier Field: Gene Steratore.
 
c. Duke is 8-2. The football team.
 
d. Please don’t wear those uniforms again, Northwestern. They hurt the eyes.
 
e. I’ll ask you nicely, college football: Stop with the timeout after first downs. Some of these games … interminable.
 
f. Headline someone at CNN would like to have back after the state of Illinois was ravaged by more than 50 twisters: “Tornadoes touch down in Illinois; Bears game interrupted.”

So are these really non-football related thoughts? They seem to be very much related to football in my opinion. 

g. Coffeenerdness: Bring the maple oat nut scone back, Starbucks. Don’t make me beg.

Don't make Peter tear your entire corporation a new asshole in MMQB because you won't let him have his way! Give Peter King what he wants or face the wrath of him acting like a child in order to get what he wants!

h. Beernerdness: I had no new ones this week. I simply must try harder.

Or not go to Ruby Tuesday's and expect to try new beer selections. 

The Adieu Haiku

And then there were none.
Buoniconti pops champagne.
Perfection is safe.

If only the Chiefs could have played teams with lousy records all season they could have been like the 1972 Dolphins and gone perfect over an entire NFL season.