Joey, Joey!

I have officially visited the bleachers at Yankee Stadium to see the Yankees, my 29th favorite team in MLB, and the Royals play, who I could care less about. Despite all the odds against it, I actually enjoyed the game. Here are my highlights from the beginning of the walk in to the end of the game:

-As we walked to the stadium I was asked if I had my wallet in my back pocket, which I already did. Apparently picking people's pocket is popular in New York. Welcome to the Bronx!

-As you enter the stadium you see concessions and notice a stench that could potentially be described as the worst smell in the history of the world. Imagine a sweaty, non deodorant wearing man passing gas beside a skunk and then multiply it by ten. This was the concession area, where you are supposed to order food, so I got a Nathan's hot dog and began the ascent to my seat in Section 42 with the Bleacher Creatures.

-If anyone has ever been to Yankee Stadium, your first thought at the majesty of it was probably the same as mine...God, this is small, it looks a lot bigger on television and in my nightmares. Then you imagine Jeffrey Maier catching Derek Jeter's homerun in 1996 and all of the other historic things that have happened and it seemed really disconcerting they happened in the same ball park I was standing in considering how small the stadium felt to me. If this is the House Ruth Built, it must have been before he weighed a solid 250 pounds or else he would not have fit in the stadium. Ok, maybe not that small but still...

-The weather. It was sunny, no cloud in the sky and absolutely beautiful. Unfortunately it was also 108 degrees and not windy in the least bit. I began perspiring at the entrance to the tunnel and did not stop until I had gotten in the shower 5 hours later. Brutal, brutal weather. Also, you never really think about how slow Andy Pettitte works until he takes a half hour between pitches, then people look at you when you yell, "just pitch the ball!" By the way, he gave up 10 earned runs because Joe Girardi comes from the same school as Bobby Cox and have taken the class called, "Excessive amounts of wildness and 100+ pitches is not cause for taking a pitcher out of the game." By the way, it was 108 degrees but Pettitte still came out for the 7th inning after giving up 6 runs. The public address announcer made periodic announcements that free water was available to keep everyone hydrated. Of course that all ran out in the 5th inning and all that was left was $4.50 bottled water. I bought three. I guess A Rod has to get paid somehow.
-Derek Jeter. Yankee fans love this man. Here is what he did during the game 0-4, one error, and thrown out trying to stretch a single into a double. That was the highlight of his day other than the .276 average, 3 HR and 29 RBI's. Let's just say I came away less than impressed with him and even less impressed by the fact he is described as such a smart baserunner by every announcer and still felt the need to test Jose Guillen's arm. That did not work out well for him.

-Alex Rodriguez. He hit a massive 2 run homerun in the 7th inning to put the Yankees within two runs, and they eventually won, but his fan support was lackluster to say the least. A Rod jerseys should sell out every other jersey 2-1 but he had about as many jerseys as Joba Chamberlain did. I would buy a jersey simply because they are stuck with him for the next 10 years. I also called the homerun and no one was sufficiently impressed by this. I told my lady of long term committment A Rod was going deep in this at bat and he did. You would think she would be impressed by my abilities enough to tell everyone, but she just sat there and acknowledged she thinks I am smart. Not good enough, everyone else needs to know it too.

-Bleacher Creatures. That is what they call themselves. Basically they should be called the real baseball fans who don't have enough money to get really good seats. I did notice some odd things about them though:

First, they chant every player's name on the Yankees team once they take the field in the first inning. Only after the player acknowledges the fan's support do they stop. It is actually pretty cool, so I enjoyed that. They don't do it for the first baseman, the pitcher and the catcher, so I wonder why?

Second, they love Derek Jeter.

Third, someone guy who looked like he was an extra in any movie that has ever taken place in New York (whatever that means) chanted for a two inning span, "Joey, Joey", followed by an insult of some type like, "you are going to be chasing baseballs all day." I am all for heckling but I am not sure in an OF containing Jose Guillen, Joey Gaithwright is the top priority for the heckling faithful. This made me lose respect for this man, simply because Jose Guillen is an admitted steroid user and should be an easy target. Maybe they are too afraid to taunt for fear Jason Giambi may hear and think about what he may or may not have done, I don't know.

Fourth and lastly, they were not quite as mean as I had given them credit for. I was wearing my favorite team's hat the entire day and there were three Boston Red Sox shirts that I saw. I was not accosted with insults and the Red Sox fan was neither. I was a little disappointed because I expected to have to defend myself a little. I guess it was too hot.

-A lady was wearing a Roger Clemens jersey with the number 12 on it. I tried for an hour and never got why she was wearing a Clemens jersey that did not have his correct number on the back.

-Pulling Joba Chamberlain into the starting rotation has caused some great concern among the Yankee fans concerning late inning relief. The guy in front of me had a shirt that said, "Anybody but Farnsworth," but he being compared to the other shit they have, he seems like a decent option.

-Don't go in the toilets at Yankee Stadium and expect to sit down if you are a girl. If you are a girl and you are reading this sentence, I would be extremely shocked as well. I have one reader and from all appearances it is a guy.

-For some reason, the phrase "Got Melky?" really grosses me out.

-I could not recognize any of the Yankee's players introduction music and this pissed me off.

-I saw the new Yankees Stadium 100 feet from the old one, which is the one I was currently in. This brought up the question of how the hell were they going to tear the old one down? They usually blast stadiums since that takes all of five seconds and I was told they were going to tear it down with workers. This is stupid. Along with the traffic near the George Washington Bridge, which goes one lane, two lanes, back to one lane, this makes me lose a little respect for the city planners.

-I would like to back when the temperature is 30 degrees cooler.