Trades I Hope Never Happen and Being Off The Mark

I am not going to link the article because it was not that interesting. Jon Heyman listed five different destinations for Matt Holliday and they all either scared me or made me wonder what the hell he was thinking.

1. Angels. They're a solid team with superior talent, and that's especially true in the rotation, which features perhaps three No. 1s and a No. 2. However, in recent years they've tended to value their prospective talent higher than some others, which has limited their trade chances.

No way this will ever happen. As stated by Heyman, the Angels are too much of wimps to actually make a trade that improves their team and allows them to get out of the first round of the playoffs. There are two teams in MLB I would celebrate for hours if my favorite team got to play them in the first round of the playoffs, the Angels and the Dodgers. Neither team can hit and love to hang on to prospects in lieu of getting a good player in a trade.

Bottom line, the Angels love first round playoff exits, followed by countless, "When is Vlad going to get some help" stories. At least they still have Brandon Wood and Ervin Santana though, so they don't need A Rod or Johan Santana.

2. Mets. A trade that would have sent Holliday, center fielder Willy Taveras and perhaps others to New York for Beltran and star outfield prospect Fernando Martinez appeared to have been floated.

Why the hell would the Rockies trade Holliday, a superior hitter who may want $20 million per year, for Beltran, an above average hitter making $18 million? So by trading Holliday, you have neither saved your team money, lost draft picks, and made your team worse. You have to think before you type Jon.

I love how in his trade situation, the Rockies would throw other players in the trade as well, which is non sensical, even with Fernando Martinez in the deal.

3. Red Sox

God no. This brings up the great point that if Ortiz comes back healthy (meaning under 275 pounds) where the hell would Holliday play? We all love J.D. Drew but do you want him running around in CF pulling hamstrings and tearing muscles? I doubt it. Maybe Jon thinks the Rockies would take Drew, who is making $14 million, back in the deal. Probably.

4. Dodgers

I feel the same way about them as I do the Angels. They don't have the balls. Having the balls would involve trading for a player that will actually make your team better. Maybe the Rockies want Andruw Jones, he is making $18 million.

5. Field

The Yankees are reluctant to trade their prospects

He actually meant to say the other MLB teams are reluctant to trade for the Yankee's prospects after seeing them play. You know, both prospects the Yankees have that are worth a shit.

The Braves would have the prospects, if they'd like to repeat their Mark Teixeira coup from a year ago.

Coup? I would not call trading 5 of your top 25 prospects for a player and then going below .500 with that player a coup. Unless Jon has a different definition of "coup," I am currently using the dictionary version. That trade sucked and continues to suck for the Braves. Basically he thinks the Braves should trade half the farm system for another player that will be a free agent next year.

Good luck trading Holliday Rockies!

http://msn.foxsports.com/mlb/story/8346550/On-the-Mark:-Baseball-needs-its-bad-guy-back

Ironically, Mark Kriegel is off the mark.

To this point, Major League Baseball has seen some nice stories. The rise of Tampa Bay (never mind the recent slump) comes first to mind. Josh Hamilton, sober with 95 RBI at the break, is an inspiration.

I actually don't need stories to make baseball exciting, I just watch the game and that is enough for me.

Has anyone else noticed that sportswriters always talk about the "stories" that are going on in a sport? Sports fans don't need stories to enjoy the sport, only sportswriters do because most of the time they would have nothing to write about otherwise. The point of view they have is that writing about the events in every game is pretty boring, but writing about a controversy, now that is what makes the sport exciting. I don't share that view, so when a sportswriter bitches about no "stories," I don't care.

So admit it. You miss him.
I'm talking about Barry Bonds, of course.

Of course. The one topic any writer can put 1000 words into without even thinking. Barry Bonds is the sportswriter's life preserver in times of need. Mark is reaching for it now. I don't miss Bonds.

For whom else would you stop whatever you were doing to watch at the plate?

I never once stopped to watch one of his at bats, unless the media cut into whatever I was innocently trying to watch to show him. Just like knowing wrestling is fake makes it unwatchable for me, knowing Bonds juiced does not make him exciting for me. It's like bragging you threw for 10,000 yards on a season of Madden on the Rookie level. It takes the joy of his accomplishment away.

And so what if Bonds is going to jail? He's not going to jail this season.

I could care less if he is going to jail and I actually think someone should sign Bonds. Probably the Yankees and I wrote it a few months ago in this here space, but if a team does not want to sign a distraction so you have something to write about, they don't have to.

In reality, fans' affections are fungible. They've long since grown comfortable with the rent-a-player concept. What's more, in this case, Barry Bonds makes baseball sense. Having hit 28 home runs and walked 132 times in a mere 340 at-bats last year, this is one distraction worth the risk.

You are rambling now. His hitting ability was never in question and I don't see how a distraction to a contending team is worth the risk. This column has gone from "I miss Barry Bonds," to I realize he is in trouble with the law, to someone should sign him, and finally, nonsense. Pretty much like every other Barry Bonds column. Also, why write a Bonds column, you know, since he is not an active player and all?

"I can't believe that you wouldn't want him on your team," Torii Hunter said recently. "I know he comes with baggage or whatever, but if I was an owner, I'd like to get Barry."

There is a reason Torii Hunter is not an owner. Actually the Angels could really use Bonds but since they absolutely refuse to make any moves to improve the team, they will not do it.

Now, onto the National League, where the first-place Arizona Diamondbacks are a game under .500 and scoring 3.54 runs a game since June 1. Put Bonds on any team in that lousy division and it's a contender.

The only drawback being he actually has to play left field, which could be a problem considering he has been playing on 85 year old legs for the past five years. He could also pitch. If he did this, then I would pay attention and probably DVR all of his games, Mark Kriegel would have something to write about and the Diamondbacks would score more runs. Everyone would be happy.

Consider that with half a season to go, the Dodgers are three games under .500, but just two games out. What if they were to lose the division by a game or two? Whose fault would it be then? Probably general manager Ned Colletti's. What would he say then? That Bonds wasn't a character guy?

If the Dodgers lose the division by two games, then it will be the player's fault as well. He could also explain to his fans that he was not going to bring the player they threw syringes and beer bottles at for 15 years to the team because he was a cheater. Though fans are not quite as smart as you seem to be Mark, I think they would understand.

I am mocking Kriegel and I am absolutely lost right now, I feel bad for you as the reader. Thanks for hanging in there. I think we have learned that Bonds needs to stay retired or else I will subject us all to critiques of Barry Bonds and the latest news on there being no news. I don't miss Barry Bonds.