MMQB: Read Only If You Like Upper East Coast Football

One criticism I have made of Peter King previously is that he really, really pays attention to teams that are in the upper east coast of the country and pretty much gives periodic nods to the other teams in the league. Granted, there are a lot of teams in that area that are great this year but there is only so much New York Giant, Washington Redskin, New England Patriot, Pittsburgh Steeler, and Philadelphia Eagle love I can stand.

Nothings changed.

I like to try to be neutral or at least not turn this into a fan blog, but I am going to have to warn you (all?), that is going to be incredibly tough this week. My favorite team in the world turned in one of the best defensive performances of their entire franchise history and there is zero mention by Peter. I would not need it mentioned necessarily, especially by him, but I think since the team they played but up a great deal of offensive numbers last week, it was at least noteworthy.

Let's get excited by Peter getting excited!

What do you want to hear about first? The origins of the Wildcat play, which has carried the woebegone Dolphins to wins over the two AFC Championship Game teams from last year? The future of Kerry Collins, who, in a month, has gone from a washed-up backup to one of the NFL's 20 most important players? The incredible case of Matty Ice? Plaxico Burress' future with the Giants?

We get options? Yes, then...none of the above! None of the above I say!

I don't know what to tell Peter King if he truly thinks Kerry Collins is one of the NFL's 20 most important players. I would love to hear about Matty Icccccccccccccce though.........and I don't care about Plaxico Burress at all.

None of the above, though I'll get to them all.

I like how he starts off the column giving the readers choices letting them choose what they can hear about first and then makes the choice for us. This pretty much describes how I feel about Peter King. I have an option every week but for some reason he makes the decision for me to read his column. I can't explain it.

My choice: The first play-call of Clinton Portis' life.

Oh absolutely, let's focus on this incredibly important event then. This one play in one football game, sounds very, very relevant. Granted, the play-call turns out to be a fourth down play and was important at the end of the game, but I am not sure it should MMQB.

The Redskins are turning into one of the great stories of the year. They looked inept in a flaccid opener against the Giants. They've looked like the '67 Packers since. They won their fourth straight, 23-17, at Philadelphia Sunday, and afterward, I couldn't quite believe what Jim Zorn told me.

He clearly just wanted to talk about the Redskins and needed a cheap segway.

On a side note, I like how everyone is talking up the NFC East because it has the greatest teams in the league in it and how certain people, Alex Marvez, want to put an East team in the NFC West. I can't help but think about the extraordinarily powerful NL Central with Milwaukee, St. Louis, and the Chicago Cubs and how the NL West was mocked all year for having teams that barely break .500 all year. Then the Dodgers sweep the team with the best record in the National League. A team from the "worst" division manhandles a team from the "best" division in the playoffs. I think this is a story I am going to remember for football season.

"Clinton called that fourth-down play,'' Zorn said.

The offensive guru is having a RB call key fourth down plays. This does not bode well for them in the future, having players believe they can call plays.

Zorn had his thinking cap on, with Jason Campbell and Portis and a couple of the coaches on the sidelines. "I called the formation first,'' he said, "and then he called the play. He thought we should run a draw. I didn't say anything, and I looked at my plan. It was going to be very hard to run. But I thought about the play, and it was a good call.

Fourth and one. Philly has zero timeouts and if they got the ball would have to march 62 yards to get a touchdown to win the game. A draw...I would not have the guts to call that. Really Zorn probably had no idea what play to call there either, so he just let Portis pick it knowing his play call choice would be no better.

The draw's a great call there, with the expectation that a strong back would either wham into the line, or the quarterback would throw a sure thing to either the back or tight end.

"A sure thing to either the back or tight end?" What the hell kind of sure thing type pass is there on fourth and one to a tight end or a running back? Clearly, King Peter knows more about football than me but it seems like either a pass to the running back or tight end would not be the greatest call on fourth down without a little play action. Especially since the Redskins would be in a tight formation at the line of scrimmage to at least sell the run, it would take a little longer for the tight end/RB to get open.

Imagine the ownership he feels in his team this morning, knowing the new coach, an offensive maven, thought enough of his brain and gut feeling that he could get the yard he needed.

Imagine ownership thinking their running back just called a play when they pay the head coach to do this. Not a great feeling I would imagine for their confidence in the coach to make play calls, especially if this starts happening frequently.

• Ice Ice Baby. "You don't realize the stadium's right in the middle of a neighborhood,'' Matt Ryan said over the cell phone with a bit of impressed wonder Sunday. He'd just walked into Lambeau Field on his fifth professional start and stunned the Packers 27-24. He was 16 of 26 for 194 yards, with two TDs, one pick and no sacks taken, and he finished the game with two kneeldowns. We're now going to have to take this kid, and this team, seriously.

Ladies and Gentleman, Peter King has a new quarterback boyfriend, but he and Brett Favre are going to stay friends and not avoid each other, don't worry.

Let's make sure Matt Ryan meets all of Peter's criteria:

White- check

Has an affiliation with Boston- check and he gave the stupid ass nickname Matty Ice to him, after giving it to Matt Cassel, so that must be some kind of bonus point.

Gives Peter access to his thought process- we will see

Peter can write about his appearance without it disturbing the player- well...

He looks like a bank vice president 25 minutes after the game, in a neatly pressed suit with not a hair out of place.

Check!

Ryan plays the part of an NFL quarterback perfectly. He says all the right things.

That is all that is required really. Akili Smith did not play the part of a QB well, not because of the skill required for the position, but mostly he said the wrong things and expressed his hatred for anyone of Muslim and Asian descent. That was the wrong thing to say. Same thing with Heath Shuler and now he is taking his pro-fur wearing stances to Washington D.C. as a Senator! Being pro-fur is not the right thing to say, so he sucked at QB.

The best has been good enough for a 3-2 start.

Other than the Packers, the Falcons have beaten the Lions and the Chiefs...not that impressive really, but when Peter King has to prove a point, we ignore this.

• Kerry Collins is back, and he's not going anywhere.

He knows what he isn't -- a No. 2 quarterback.

Vince Young has, and always will, suck so on the Titans he is not a #2 quarterback. That does not make him a #2 quarterback for nearly every other team in the league, except maybe five teams. Even those teams would rather have a younger player rather than a 35 year old who has started an entire season in a few years.

"I'm so excited to be here,'' he said on a noisy Titans' bus to the airport after the game. "I still have a lot of confidence in myself as a player, and I've got the kind of opportunity that I've been waiting for.''

What opportunity would that be? To quarterback a NFL team? I think he had that chance in Carolina, New Orleans, Oakland, and with the New York Giants. Granted he is playing very well right now but King Peter is getting overly giddy with the Kerry Collins love in free agency after this year.

I dare my reader(s) to pick a team that would want Kerry Collins for a two year deal after this year with the full intention of making him the starter for those two years, other than Kansas City. They don't count because they would sign me after this season if I could throw a spiral.

O'Hara couldn't say enough good things about Manning, and anyone's who watched much of the Giants this year sees what O'Hara sees -- the maturation of a kid who doesn't get flustered by anything.

I am getting really close to admitting I was wrong about Eli Manning but I still need to see some more games from him playing at this high level...and he still will never be as good as Peyton.

The Fine Fifteen

1. New York Giants (4-0). This is not only a defensively intimidating team and offensively efficient team, but also a very deep team.

They also saved two babies from drowing in lakes this week and solved the financial crisis. Good job New York Giants!

Tom Coughlin suspends his best receiver for a game, and his plug-in guy, Domenik Hixon, probably the fifth receiver coming out of training camp, outgains Seattle 117-115 and out-touchdowns the Seahawks 1-0 in the first half.

Wow! That is amazing they beat Seattle like that at home. Especially since the Seahawks 2nd leading receiver is Billy McMullen. The Giants are the best!

2. Tennessee (5-0). Best game by a quarterback with a 52.0 passer rating in a long, long time. When's the last time a backup quarterback went into Baltimore and drove 80 yards to win the game in the fourth quarter?

Those are some interesting Jayson Stark-ish type milestones you have mentioned there King Peter. "When was the last time a RB ran for 150+ yards against Pittsburgh when the team was missing its top 2 receivers and there was a full moon the night before?"

Notice I keep calling Kerry Collins a backup quarterback. He's not anymore.

Not for the Titans because he is the best they can do right now. For 90% of the rest of the league he is a backup quarterback. I am not quite yet buying what Kerry Collins is selling simply based on his history of looking good one year and then the next looking year looking horrible. I don't care how much he has slimmed down and quit drinking.

6. New England (3-1). The hounds have been released. Matt Cassel has been allowed to throw it way far downfield. See that smile on the sidelines from Randy Moss?

They beat San Francisco this week? Super Bowl or bust! Finally someone has taken the chains off of Matt Cassel, with an arm as strong as that and a history of beating sub .500 teams, I say Matty Iccccccccccce 2 puts the Patriots in the Super Bowl.

11. Buffalo (4-1). Bills surrendered five sacks. Bills turned it over four times. Bills got their terrific young quarterback concussed. Storm clouds form over Orchard Park. Bet they're glad to have the bye this week.

Wow. One loss and King Peter drops them in his "Fucked Up Fifteen" to number 11. Right behind a 2-2 team and right in front of a 2-3 team. I guess Trent Edwards did not return Peter's late night phone calls.

14. Indianapolis (2-2). "We played Colts football for five minutes today,'' coach Tony Dungy told his team in a raucous locker room at Houston. "Good thing it was the last five.''

I would not call the Colts lucky this year, I think they have actually earned both wins they had, but doesn't it feel like this team is hanging on by a thread right now? I see this working out two ways, first the Colts will get breaks all year and this will lead them to the playoffs, or second, the bubble will burst and they will be lucky to be the 10-6 I predicted.

Defensive Players of the Week

Ray Lewis, MLB, Baltimore. I know, I know. The Ravens lost Sunday, a painful defeat at the hands of the Titans in which they let Tennessee drive the length of the field in the fourth quarter to win. But the play of Lewis over the last eight quarters simply must be recognized. In the narrow losses to Pittsburgh and Tennessee, Lewis has 20 tackles, two sacks, two passes deflected, one tackle for loss and two quarterback hits.

Travis LaBoy, DE, Arizona. Facing the previously unbeaten Bills, LaBoy led a parade of pass-rushers to the Buffalo backfield and finished with seven tackles, two sacks, two quarterback pressures and two tackles for loss. Arizona won 41-17 -- a week after getting scorched for six touchdown passes and 56 points by the Jets.

These are both great individual performances. More so Travis LaBoy's than Ray Lewis, which apparently encompassed two games and King Peter just felt like mentioning both.

The problem with this meaningless award is that the Carolina Panthers held the Kansas City Chiefs to 127 yards of total offense this week. DeAngelo Williams, the Panthers running back, ran for 123 by himself. How this is not impressive to Peter I really have no idea, considering the Chiefs did not have 100 yards of total offense until the fourth quarter and did not cross the 50 yard line until the second half. My whole point is that if you replace "Carolina Panthers" with "New York Giants" it would have been mentioned at least once in this MMQB column.

Special Teams Player of the Week


Stephen Gostkowski, K, New England. I'm long overdue in recognizing this rising-star kicker. At Candlestick/Monster/3Com/Whatever Park Sunday, he kicked field goals of 35, 40 and 49 yards, and put four of seven kickoffs in the end zone; three were downed as touchbacks. For the year, he's hit on all 10 field goals he's tried.

Am I the only one that sees what a huge New England Patriot fan he is? I would like to think not but I may be. Or I may be insane.

I also don't spend my entire life trying to prove certain people are fans of Boston area teams, but the media has this enormous group of reporters who are from the New England area and it gets quite tiresome for me. Again, we have loyal readers who love the Patriots and the Red Sox, so I don't want to constantly bash them. Gostkowski a definite upgrade from Adam Vinitieriiaiaia simply because Adam V. broke my heart and I hate him.

In 1971, the Raiders chose 19th and the Rams 20th. Tatum, the safety from Ohio State, and Youngblood, the defensive end from Florida, were on the board. Though Davis has always been a DB fan, he favored Youngblood here, and Madden wanted Tatum. Madden won, but took no victorious pride in it. He just thought Tatum fit the Raiders' defense better.
The point is, Madden and Davis sparred verbally all the time, and neither took it personally. "That's what the next coach has to do,'' said Madden.

This is a great story and all, but you are choosing between a player in the middle to late parts of the 1st round. It is a little different from disagreeing about the #1 pick of the draft. If a coach doesn't agree with the player the owner wants to pick at #1 in the draft, then there should not be a "we'll agree to disagree" type mood by either side. That player is going to be the cornerstone of the team and in this situation was the first pick that Lane Kiffin got to make as head coach. Way for Peter King and John Madden to try to compare two things that are completely different.

Throw in the fact there was no salary cap at the time when the Tatum pick was made and dumbass John Madden is comparing apples and oranges. That was 35 years ago! If you can't recognize the way the game has changed, then I don't know what to tell you.

1. I think these are my quick-hit thoughts of Week 5:


a. Tony Mandarich admits to steroid use at Michigan State and using performance enhancers and abusing alcohol as a pro in an interview with Armen Keteyian. Rick, I'm shocked to see gambling going on in this establishment. Absolutely shocked!

I don't get that reference at all. I googled Peter King claiming prior to today that Tony Mandarich used steroids and looked for an article where Peter claimed Mandarich was accused of using steroids and could not find anything. Obviously Peter knew though, right?

I did find this though...which is really interesting:

http://vault.sportsillustrated.cnn.com/vault/article/magazine/MAG1068312/2/index.htm

The story about his mom wrestling him because he is built like his mother is just priceless.

Also Mandarich said he would play in Green Bay if the price is right...then who does he get drafted by? Green Bay...and that is priceless. If you don't read that article then you have no one but yourself to blame.

3. I think this is what I liked about Week 5:


a. Eli and Peyton Manning were 14-of-15 at 1:32 p.m. Sunday.

This man absolutely falls in love with quarterbacks and if they do one thing well, he is sure to bring it up.

g. Nor do the Patriots. That was an old-school defensive game, with lots of confusion for young quarterback J.T. O'Sullivan to try to comprehend.

First off, it was against the 49ers and J.T. O'Sullivan, so it is not like it was against the 1967 Green Bay Packers.

Second, they also gave up 21 points to the 49ers, including 3 touchdowns thrown by the immortal J.T. O'Sullivan. They held the ball for a good percentage of the game which helped the total yardage of 199 the 49ers gained look good, but they gave up 4.3 yards per rush, so it is not like they were dominant in all phases. The Patriot offense controlled the game well and that is to their credit, so it seems like they played a better old-school offensive game.

I don't hate the Patriots, I promise.

h. Kyle Orton looks more and more like the answer for Chicago, at least temporarily.

I bet Peter thinks the Bears should sign Kerry Collins as their starter. You know he thinks this.

e. If I'm Mike Holmgren, I'm asking my front seven this morning: Could you guys explain to me why you didn't try to tackle Brandon Jacobs much? That was an embarrassing effort by the Seahawks on defense. Putrid.

Do you think Peter wants a redo on that puff piece he wrote about Mike Holmgren at the beginning of the year? I am guessing he probably has forgotten about it already, after all, they play on the West Coast, so they were not even worth mentioning anyway.

6. I think this is what the first month of the season has taught Eric Mangini about Brett Favre: "The biggest thing he brings to the team is he's exactly the same the next play whether the play's a big success or a failure. You try to teach your players that the only thing that matters is the next play, and to have such a great example of that on your team has been fantastic. With Brett, there's never a sense the game is over. He'd never act like it was anyway.''

The Jets had a bye week this week. You know Peter had to sneak Brett in there somewhere and somehow, despite the fact he has no relevance to anything that happened in the NFL this week.

You know in his dreams Peter re-enacts the movie "Man on Fire" with himself as Denzel Washington and Brett Favre as Dakota Fanning. I can see Peter and Brett playing in the backyard and instead of Peter teaching Brett to swim, he teaches Brett to throw a football. This is definitely one of the things I think I think Peter thinks about.

b. In November, when Vermeil is on the verge of cutting Phillips for repeated insubordination: The coach sees no difference in Phillips's demeanor. He doesn't get the apology he wanted. Finally, he says, "Lawrence, tell me something. What would you do if you were me?" Phillips thinks for a moment. "Coach," he says, "I'd cut me."


That's right. Vermeil, in effect, asked Phillips if he thought he should cut him -- and the player fired himself!

Peter King is chiding Lawrence Phillips for being honest with his head coach about what Phillips himself would do in the situation Dick Vermeil was in. I think if you switched the situation around a little bit and made the player not Lawrence Phillips, we'll say Jason Peter, then Peter King would respect his ability to tell his coach the truth. That was my Jason Whitlock moment of the week.

b. One other dumb playoff baseball thing: During the White Sox-Rays opening game, TBS showed 2008 fights between the Rays and Yanks, then the Rays and Red Sox, and Harold Reynolds said this sent a signal that the Rays wouldn't be pushed around by the power teams of their division anymore. Presto! Division title. What crappola. The Rays have been fighting for years. They brawled with the Sox in 2000 and finished 69-92. They brawled with the Sox in 2004 and finished 70-91. They brawled with the Sox in 2005 and finished 67-95. If you're going to use clichés, at least make them true.

You don't think Peter King forwarded this to his friends at CNNSI.com like Jon Heyman do you? He actually gained some credibility with me with this comment.

d. Does every Cubs fan dissolve into an emotionless blob at the first sign of adversity? Talk about a couple of woe-is-me crowds at Wrigley. And six runs in 27 innings is not going to win an April series in Pittsburgh or an October series in the playoffs.

Pot meet kettle. Red Sox fan meet the Cubs fan. After two World Series how quickly we forget the stories about how cursed the Red Sox are (Dan Shaughnessy), stories about how you just KNEW something bad would happen (Bill Simmons) or any other Red Sox fan who told a "we are so cursed and unlucky" story. I can't believe he wrote this.

i. You're the smart one, Bill Plaschke.

He just lost all of that credibility.

Read this and see if you think Bill Plaschke is smart:

http://www.firejoemorgan.com/2006/08/best-ever.html

This is classic FJMorgan.

You recognize Manny Ramirez quit on a great team once, and he'll do it again. In the first three innings Saturday night, Ramirez scored from first on a hard double to right, then tagged up at first base and went to second on a medium-deep fly to center field. I can guarantee you that in eight years in Boston he didn't do those two things in one season, never mind twice in one three-inning stretch.

Bitter Peter wrote his feelings down on a piece of paper about Manny. Bitter Peter does not have a woe is me attitude. Bitter Peter likes food.

l. Finally got to see the premiere of Family Guy, and if I had to pick,

The season premiere or the premiere of the entire show? If it is the entire show you are WAY late on that one.

I'm not sure which TV character I'd chose as the best in history -- George Costanza, Barney Fife, James West or Brian the dog. Brian's quite a maverick.

A dig at Sarah Palin! How fucking not hilarious and overdone now. I can see Peter putting down his pasta rolls and garlic bread to high five his friends with his greasy fat hands after he put this in the column. Not funny and you should be ashamed at being such a douchebag.

I do not like Sarah Palin at all either, and I am not defending her, but King Peter is incredibly not funny.

I think we will end it on that low note. I think I have run J.S. off for a few days, so you are stuck with me for a little while. We'll see how low readership goes.