Ten Things I Think I Think Peter King Has Not Thought Of

I may be getting busy at work here over the next couple of weeks and J.S. may not be coming back for a while, so I may find it hard to post every single day like I enjoy doing. I don't have a large enough ego to think everyone looks forward to reading this everyday, but I do enjoy making fun of the same people week after week and like to put something up everyday. I am going to attempt to tackle an entire TMQ tomorrow, so if you hate TMQ, show up anyway just to watch me stumble through the column.

1. I actually hate NFL mock drafts, simply because they contain more disinformation than actual useful information, but I can't stay away from them at all. I found this web site and it has tickled my fancy. After your favorite team loses there is nothing more exciting than seeing a mock draft of potential players your team could snag, but it gets so frustrating when you see there is a player up there that your team does not need at a position they already have covered. I usually curse at the keyboard and then have a mini-panic hoping the GM and the head coach aren't thinking along the same lines as the writer of the mock draft. If your favorite team's season is over already, play on this site and you may feel better.

2. Tony Dungy has retired/stepped down. Don't let anyone fool you, there is a huge difference. It is a bit misleading because the title of the article says, "Tony Dungy steps down as Indianapolis Colts coach," while the article says he retired. I guess the media is letting him play it both ways. I am not bashing Dungy, just saying if he wants a change of scenery, it is a lot easier to just step down as coach, take a year off, and then get back into coaching, rather than take offers from a team while you are still under contract (paging Bill Parcells) or even let your contract run out and go to another team. I am not convinced he is done with coaching.

"We just felt this was the right time," Dungy said. "Don't shed any tears for me. I got to live a dream most people don't get to live."

"I will be back in two years, just take it easy everyone."

Dungy and his wife, Lauren, spent the last five years discussing whether he should continue coaching.

They spent the last five years talking about whether he needs to continue coaching? I wonder how long it takes them to buy a car or buy a house? Possibly a decade or more.

"Where my heart is, is really with our young men right now," Dungy said. "We have so many guys that didn't grow up like me, didn't have their dad there and that's something I'm very, very interested in."

Sure...That sounds like a real wholesome thing he is doing, but is he really retiring to get his "super duper great Christian football guy" crown back from Tim Tebow? Is it a coincidence that Tebow wins his second national title and Dungy retires to focus more on other "projects." I think Dungy is going to do whatever he can to prove he is a better person than Tim Tebow. If he has to give orphans rocket pack rides around the Equator or adopt an entire village of children in Chile, he will do whatever it takes to get his good guy crown back. Tebow, watch your back!

At least that is my theory.

3. Peter King took time off from asking about Peyton Manning's bursa sac to chip in on the discussion.

I hope the moral of the Dungy story is you can be a good football coach at the very highest level -- and you can also drive your kids to school occasionally and go to all the high school football games and the school plays too. Just because your arch-rival might be sleeping in the office, it doesn't mean you're not going to win if you do the human things.

Also, having Peyton Manning and Marvin Harrison on offense is also suggested as a way to succeed. It makes it a lot easier to coach when you have them. Reggie Wayne and Dallas Clark don't hurt either.

On Sunday night, I spoke with Baltimore coach John Harbaugh for a few minutes. I asked him what he was doing. "Math homework with my daughter,'' he said.

Peter King is calling coaches now asking them "what they are doing." That's not creepy at all. I wonder if he uses a breathy whisper in his voice or not.

The scenario is Parcellsian. Go to a franchise as a sort of architectural czar. Hire the coach, build the infrastructure, set a tone. Make sure the players and coaches know you're around if they need help, but don't be omnipresent, don't show up in gameplanning sessions. Thirty hours a week. Home for breakfast, take the kids to school, go to the occasional afternoon game or forensics match or play, home for dinner. You're all in, but you're all in as an overseer.

Actually it would be Parcellsian if he almost signed a contract with a team, reneged on the contract because he was only using them as leverage, signed with another team, put an option in his contract that says he can leave every single year if he wants, signs Jason Ferguson, signs Vinny Testaverde, spends two years building the team to the brink of being an AFC/NFC Championship contender, begins negotiating new contract with another team while still under contract with original team, denies on ESPN he is doing this, leaves original team for new team, original team on the cusp of AFC/NFC Championship has to start over and loses the momentum they built, and the process starts over at a new place.

That is Parcellsian.

A GOOD SUGGESTION FOR OVERTIME. From Arjun Chandrasekhar, of Chandler, Ariz.: "For overtime, why doesn't the NFL just add a certain amount of time to the clock (perhaps half or an entire quarter), play that time in its entirety, and give each team three timeouts. This forces teams to play all three phases of the game and allow each team to get the ball at least once. Your thoughts?''

Half a quarter is only 7:30 minutes and does not guarantee the team that did not win the coin toss will get the ball at all, the team that won the toss could hold the ball the entire time, not a solution. Also, this does not present a very good sense of urgency for the team to score since the team with the ball knows it only has to burn half a quarter and what happens when the teams end up tied again?

A seven-minute period, let's say? Worth exploring. I'd rather just have sudden death starting with the second possession, not based on the clock.

I am going to get this tattooed on my head...why does everyone's idea always end with the same fucking system we use now?

Adam Walberg, of London, Ontario With what may end up being a career year [for Pennington], coupled with a few teams in need of a QB, and the dearth of available ones, I think the Fins should deal him for picks. Surely the Vikings, Bears, Panthers and Bucs would have a level of interest. A first-round pick isn't out of the question. Not bad for something they got for free just last year.''

There is a reason the NFL should never be played in Canada and this is it. Why would any of those three teams give up a first round draft pick for an older QB? Also, how would the Panthers give a first round pick? They don't have one. Also, Pennington had a fluke year. Good try, shut up.

I doubt anyone would pay a first-round pick for a quarterback who might (might, I emphasize) have two or three years left, and who has just a so-so arm. Plus, the Dolphins don't want to give away a sure thing when they've got to compete against the Patriots every year.

Oh yeah, Peter thinks it is always about the Patriots. Fuck the Bills and the Jets, the Dolphins are only concerned with the Pats. If the Pats end the year 6-10, but the Dolphins are 7-9, they will feel good knowing they beat the Pats, even if they miss the playoffs.

4. The Atlanta Braves had to go to Japan to find a player to take their money.

"Not only is this a historically important day for the Braves franchise, but with Kenshin we have acquired a pitcher who will be an integral part of our pitching staff over the next three seasons."

"We have also signed a pitcher who worked in a 6 man rotation in Japan and had back injury problems last year...oh, and he is 33. We're fucked."

"We've had some guys watch him the last couple of years, and they like him," Cox said last weekend.

Those couple of guys are John and Don Franks from Piedmont, Mississippi, they were on a vacation in Japan and the Braves asked if they would stop by and see if this guy was any good. Reportedly John said Kenshin reminded him of a young Chow Yun Fat and Don was quoted as saying, "they have good cheeseburgers in Japan, I did not expect that."

"He looked very good," Cox said. "He was able to throw the ball right where he wanted to with three or four pitches."

I certainly hope this was three or four different pitches over a consistent period of time and he did not throw the ball to the right spot only three or four times. Really, Bobby Cox has not known the difference since 2004, which explains the Russ Ortiz trade and the fact Jo Jo Reyes is still in the Braves system. I just threw up.

Uh oh and the Braves are on a roll, they got Lowe.

Lowe, 35, has a career 126-107 record in 12 seasons with Seattle, Boston and the Los Angeles Dodgers. He's averaged 208 innings the past seven seasons, and consistently has one of the highest ground ball-to-fly ball ratios in the game.

Last year the Braves had a bunch of 40 year olds in their pitching staff, this year they are sticking to the mid-30's age group. If anyone else is nervous at the thought of Derek Lowe pitching at the age of 39, you are not alone.

Although the Mets had given indications they were willing to increase the money on their three-year, $36 million offer to Lowe, management was never comfortable with the idea of extending its offer to four years.

That is never a good sign. The Mets gave Luis Castillo, Tom Glavine, and Pedro Martinez a fourth year in their contract. They would have given Moses Alou a fourth year but his right arm had to be amputated before he could sign. The Mets give out fourth years of contracts like a pedophile gives out candy at a fair. Derek Lowe will probably be dead/fatally injured before his fourth year begins.

I am slowly believing in Frank Wren, call me when left field is no longer vacant though.

Good signing but i still think they should have kept smoltz. Besides the obvious marketing reasons he bring a winning attitude and you cant teach that.

A commenter wrote that below the article. You know what else you can't teach? You shutting the hell up unless you can make sense. I am being a bully...

5. Did Marvin Harrison cap someone?

The Philadelphia district attorney who decided last week against charging Marvin Harrison in connection with an April 29 shooting that left three people wounded did so despite being in possession of a statement from a second victim who claimed he saw the Indianapolis Colts wide receiver gripping a gun during the altercation, a law enforcement source told ESPN The Magazine.

Somewhere Gregg Doyel is pushing his mohawk back, spitting his Redman chew out and getting ready to bang out another article about what an asshole Marvin Harrison is. If only he were more like Terrell Owens.

According to police, the altercation involving Harrison and Dixon, 32, was sparked by a previous incident from two weeks earlier, when Dixon and a friend who was allegedly carrying a weapon attempted to enter Playmakers, a Philadelphia bar that Harrison also owns. When Harrison refused them entry, Dixon began arguing with him on the sidewalk.

Harrison's bar is called Playmakers? It should be called "Alligator arms" or "I Am A Shitty Wide Receiver Who Should Be More Like Terrell Owens." Right Gregg "My picture makes me look like a sexual deviant" Doyel?

I, Ben "I give people way too long of nicknames in quotes" goodfella will never forget this article.

According to a summary of the evidence released Tuesday, Dixon initially gave a false name and told hospital employees and police that he was shot while resisting a robbery at a West Philadelphia intersection.

You mean witnesses who lie about the circumstances surrounding an injury are considered unreliable? At one point did this moron not realize the police might be interested in hearing more about this robbery at a West Philadelphia intersection?

Gregg Doyel hates Marvin Harrison and I don't know why.

6. There's God, there's Jesus, and there's Tebow.

Gregg Doyel hates him too.

So this attack isn't directed at Tim Tebow, girded as he is by a hide of horse and the love of God. It's directed at those who would beatify the man.

But let's all be clear on this, it is a fucking attack, so man up bitches!

But let's be honest: He has had greatness thrust upon him, too. He is in the right place at the right time, playing for perhaps the greatest coach in college football history, Meyer, who has given Tebow the perfect system and the perfect supporting cast, chock full of NFL talent at running back, receiver and -- yes -- defense.

Oh yes, Tebow just fell into this great situation and had no control over it. The only control he had was when every team in the country was recruiting him and he personally chose to go to Florida, that's all the input he had. He may as well have been signed by them as a free agent or traded there.

Look at it this way: If Tebow goes to Purdue or Auburn, does he win one Heisman or two national titles?

Look at it this way: If Colt McCoy played for Northern Arizona we would not know who the fuck he was.

Tebow was not dumb and decided to go Florida. I am not sure what Doyel's point with this statement is, but let me make a point. College athletes don't fall into great situations, they usually chose that situation themselves. Its not having to wonder if Peyton Manning had not been drafted by the Colts would Marvin Harrison be as great of a receiver as he is considered by everyone, but Gregg Doyel, to be? The college athletes can choose their circumstances and Tebow chose wisely.

Sorry. Wrong. If Tebow were a Muslim or a Mormon, and Meyer's daughter texted him with Tebow's chosen verse from the Koran or from the Book of Mormon, would that be "good for college football, good for young people, good for everything?"

Of course not.

I am going to end this before Gregg Doyel brings up a coherent and well thought out point that is very true.

But the idolatry of Tim Tebow has crossed the line. You ask me, the whole thing is blasphemous.

You mean when Thom Brennanmen said 20 minutes with Tebow would change your life, that was crossing a line of some sort into idolatry? I just want to point out 20 minutes with Charles Manson will change your life as well, but in a completely different way.

7. Josh McDaniels is the new coach for the Denver Broncos. I know what you are all thinking, what does Woody Paige think about this?

I asked the Broncos owner after the news conference if he got his "10."

"Ask me again in a year."

Denver, where confidence goes to die.

McDaniels cannot be a bust or a "6."

Can he be an 8?

You know when I was looking at the Denver roster the other day, I thought all they really need is an offensive genius to coach the team, no need for a defensive minded coach, the defense seemed pretty set.

"I thought, for it being his first time, Josh did well. Maybe he was somewhat uptight, but he was looser upstairs before," said Bowlen, who added that he chose McDaniels without regard to age because "when you been in football for a long time, you have an instinctive
feeling about someone you think could be a great football coach."

I don't know how loose McDaniels is going to be when he sees the defense he has to coach.

But the McD unequivocally said

Let's not call him that please, it reminds me of McDonald's. Thank you.

Earlier in the day Belichick issued a glowing review of McDaniels, while some in Boston who regularly trail the Patriots are not so sure about McDaniels.

If you can't trust sportswriter's opinions on a coordinator's ability to head coach a football team, really who can you trust?

He has coached Tom Brady and Matt Cassel, and McDaniels owns three Super Bowl championship rings (the same amount of jewelry as Shanahan)

Means nothing, so did Romeo Crennel and Charlie Weis.

And become a Hall of Fame coach.

Still with the comparisons to Mike Shanahan. Is Shanahan really a legend in Denver? I ask this because I have never thought he was that great of a coach and make fun of him a whole lot for his personnel decisions.

8. Ricky Henderson and Jim Rice made the Hall of Fame.

Rice received only 29.8 percent of the vote in 1995, when he appeared on the ballot for the first time. He initially topped 50 percent in 2000 and reached 64.8 percent in 2006 -- the highest percentage for a player who wasn't elected in a later year was 63.4 by Gil Hodges in 1983, his final time on the ballot.

I am not saying Jim Rice did not deserve the Hall of Fame, it was pretty obvious to me (for various reasons that had nothing to do with his actual baseball performance) he was going to make it into the Hall of Fame one day. What disturbs me is his voting percentage went up almost 50% in the last 14 years and has gone up 13% in the last 3 years. Unless people have died and been replaced by others who believe Jim Rice deserves the Hall of Fame, that means a good percentage of voters changed their mind about him in a short period of time. Why would that be? I just would think a voter would have a similar opinion on a player over a period of time, it's not like he was still playing baseball, his numbers stayed the same, and the criteria for the Hall of Fame stayed the same.

"I don't know why it took me so long. I don't even want to think about it," he added.

It took a while because you are a pretty borderline player...and I am going to go ahead and say it, you were actually helped by your bad relationship with the media because everyone used that and not your borderline numbers as the reason you had not quite made it yet. I am not sure how "being a feared hitter" is criteria for making it, but you probably deserved it...borderline.

"Be patient and wait until the last out," Rice said. "I guess everything was just timing, because my numbers have not changed over the last 14 years."

Yep, your numbers did not change, while home run numbers and RBI numbers have increased over the past couple of years (due to steroids admittedly) and you have similar numbers to Ellis Burks, Chili Davis, Moises Alou and Joe Carter here. I know that is not the end-all be-all of whether you should be in the Hall of Fame but the numbers don't overly impress me. Maybe there is a measurement I haven't looked at yet that would change my mind, it seemed to work for the other voters.

9. David Schoenfield, who I am pretty sure I beat up in Junior High, has listed 40 active players who will make the Hall of Fame.

19. Omar Vizquel

He's played more games than anybody at shortstop (2,654), won 11 Gold Gloves and recorded 2,657 hits. While his defensive reputation might be a bit overrated (a Gold Glove at age 39?), it's also secure enough to get him into Cooperstown.

More games than anybody at shortstop and 2,657 hits are numbers that endurance and playing forever can get you, but I don't think he is a Hall of Fame player. Maybe I am wrong. I hate Hall of Fame arguments by the way.

27. Mark Teixeira*

I'm not completely sold on Teixeira -- he's more "very good" than "devastating." But he's consistent, durable, an excellent fielder and still in his prime as he heads to a lineup in which he's going to drive in a ton of runs.

The white Jim Rice.

28. Francisco Rodriguez

He had 62 saves!

Let's get Bobby Thigpen's Hall of Fame bust ready then!

30. Joe Mauer
http://www.baseball-reference.com/m/mccanbr01.shtml
It would be nice to see him develop a little more power, but there's nothing wrong with a catcher who wins batting titles and gets on base around 40 percent of the time.

I am very biased on this issue but what about Brian McCann if Mauer gets in? McCann is one year younger and though Mauer clearly is a better hitter for average, McCann has better power. Check out the numbers and tell me I am a homer moron:

Mauer

McCann

I am not saying McCann deserves it, I am saying if Mauer is in the discussion then Brian McCann should be as well.

34. Carlos Beltran*

I was hesitant about including Beltran, as his career .281/.357/.496 line isn't awe-inspring. But: (1) He'll be just 32 in April and already has eight 100-RBI seasons, and the only players with more such seasons eligible for the Hall and not in are Joe Carter and Albert Belle; (2) Those two weren't Gold Glove-winning center fielders; (3) With 275 career steals and just 37 caught stealing, he's the greatest percentage basestealer ever.

The "other players have similar shitty numbers and made the Hall of Fame" argument never convinces me and this is not exception. No need to compound past mistakes. You're out!

10. I realize UNC lost another game, this time to Wake Forest, but I still say there is no reason for them to lose. They have a roster full of future NBA players. I still think they will win the National Championship this year in college basketball and we will get to hear sportswriters tell us stories about how the losses actually made them a stronger team and how tough Tyler Hansbrough is.