When I read TMQ, I really only understand about 35% of the column and it may be simply because I am stupid, so I just latch on to his analysis of when teams should go for it on fourth down and some of the other comments he makes. He is incredibly picky about judging teams, but then I am incredibly picky about judging him, so it all evens out.
For years this column has called the team in question the Arizona (Caution: May Contain Football-Like Substance) Cardinals. But will they not host Sunday's NFC championship? Sure, it's the Cardinals' first championship appearance in 60 years, but they are hosts, and no other NFC team can make that claim.
I guess this is kind of a good point but it is also incredibly obvious to the reader. If Marisa Tomei wins Best Supporting Actress then she will also be able to make the claim that she is the only person who won that award this year. It seems like the honor also contains an inherent assumption that person/team will be the only one to win that award. See what TMQ does to me? It makes me type smarter. I don't like that.
Most important, are not the Cardinals a rag-tag collection of undrafted and unwanted players -- exactly the sort of gentlemen whose praises TMQ sings?
Yeah kind of. I am not sure if they have a whole lot of undrafted and unwanted players on the roster. It seems as if they have players who were not drafted in the first round but are quality players and some players that have always been decent football players but initially were not drafted. I am not going to look up the entire roster of the Cardinals and see where they have been drafted but calling Kurt Warner undrafted and unwanted is a gross understatement.
Is it a real thing to take pride in that none of your first round draft picks are still on the roster or don't play? I don't think so. It seems as if you would take more pride in the fact your team drafts well.
To call an offense with Kurt Warner, Anquan Boldin, Larry Fitzgerald, Levi Brown and Edgerrin James "rag tag" is wrong.
To call a defense with Antrel Rolle, Rodgers-Cromartie, Karlos Danasby, and Adrian Wilson "rag tag" is also incorrect. Sure the front four and offensive line don't have complete studs on them but they also contain players who are good and also were drafted at least. Hats off to the Cardinals, but stop making them seem like overachievers.
the Colts said Edgerrin James was washed up
The only way this comment could be more wrong is if you also called James a lesbian and accused him of trying to assassinate the President of Mexico.
The Colts did not resign James because he wanted a lot of money. Plain and simple, but go ahead and make other things up if you like.
The Bears said Mike Gandy was a bust,
He was a rag tag third round pick and actually came from the Bills, not the Bears (though he did play for the Bears at one point), and I am assuming they got rid of him because they have Jason Peters and Langston Walker, not because he was bad.
And the Cardinals are led by Warner, perhaps the most retreaded, unwanted player in NFL history.
This story is tired. He was NFL and Super Bowl MVP. End of story, the Rams did not want him because Marc Bulger outplayed him and the Giants did not want him because Eli Manning outplayed him. It seemed to work out pretty well for the Giants too. No one has ever questioned Kurt Warner's ability.
Warner has been ignored or condescended to by the sports media, his 2008 performance viewed as some kind of fluke. Warner has always been condescended to and viewed as some kind of fluke -- and now Warner is one W away from a return to the Super Bowl.
All I need is evidence of this and I will tell Gregg he is right. Do you think having Larry Fitzgerald, Anquan Boldin, and Steve Breaston helps Warner have a great year? I do.
In other playoff news, TMQ contends that on fourth-and-1, it can be better to go for it and fail than to launch a mincing fraidy-cat kick. Proof was seen in the divisional round. Both No. 1 seeds, Jersey/A and Tennessee, faced critical fourth-and-1 decisions near the opponent's goal line, both launched fraidy-cat kicks and both went on to lose. Pittsburgh faced a fourth-and-1 at the opponents' goal line, went for it and failed -- then dominated the remainder of the game, winning decisively.
In other news, ESPN columnist links two events together that have nothing to do with each other.
I think my favorite part about this critique is the fact that Tennessee and New York actually scored more points by choosing for a field goal, but Gregg thought this was a bad decision, while Pittsburgh got zero points and Gregg thought this was a smart decision. I think in a playoff game it is smart to get points on the board and not give the defense a chance to get momentum with a goal line stand. Stupid me, I always thought getting points on the board was a good thing.
And in other football news, last week TMQ noted that bye-week teams win a high percentage of divisional round games.
Probably because they are at home and have a better record through the season.
TMQ thinks what's going on is not any trend in home-team postseason performance but rather a trend toward high-seed collapse.
But...I thought the bye week teams won a high percentage of games...(cries softly on keyboard)
The atmosphere was electric at Giants Stadium, the crowd raucous as it expected to watch the defending champions notch the first victory of their title defense. Philadelphia kicked off, Ahmad Bradshaw broke into the clear. He appeared to be headed for six; only Eagles kicker David Akers remained between Bradshaw and the goal line. Akers took a good angle and forced Bradshaw out of bounds at the Philadelphia 35, and the Giants had to settle for a field goal on the possession. Had Jersey/A scored six points on the game's first play, the crowd would have gone nuts and the day might well have been a rout for the defending champions. Instead the first possession was a tad deflating for the Giants, then a moment later Eli Manning threw a careless interception, and suddenly Philadelphia was on the home team's 1. Rarely is the first play of a game the most important play -- in this case, Akers' tackle was the most important play of the contest.
I think what I like most about Gregg is that he picks a play where the Eagles special teams gets gashed as the best play FOR the Eagles, just like Pittsburgh failing to get in the end zone on fourth down was a great play FOR the Steelers. He takes logic, punches it in the face with illogical reasoning, takes a nap, and then writes a TMQ about it. Two unrelated events are always related. I would like for Gregg to be a character on the television show House, it would interesting. I think he and Dr. House would have a good verbal sparring exchanges.
The Titans staged a solid early drive and scored to take a 6-0 lead, just as Tennessee had scored first in 2001, when Baltimore came to Nashville and upset the favored home team in the divisional round. Tennessee lined up for the extra point, and Baltimore jumped offsides. Half the distance moved the ball to the 1, whence the PAT was kicked. But wait -- now the ball is on the 1-yard line, go for two!
Yes, yes! 2 yards is way too freaking far to rush the ball but one yard is perfect!
There's only 1 yard to cover, go for two! Had Jeff Fisher gone for two and taken an 8-0 lead, it would have communicated the message that Tennessee would play all-out to win. Even a missed deuce try would have communicated this message. Instead the Titans played cautious, and that would become the theme of the team's loss -- see below.
Clearly Jeff Fisher was communicating that he did not give a shit about winning the game, he just wanted to make his 8:15pm appointment for a beard trimming. He left one point on the board by not going for two. This would have also made zero difference in the outcome of the game. I am surprised more people have not brought this up. It would have made zero difference! I bet the players were really upset by this.
(Kerry Collins) "Want to hear my new country music song?"
(Cortland Finnegan) "Did you call me a racist slur?"
(Kerry Collins) "I don't do that anymore. Hold on, why is Coach Fisher going to kick an extra point and not go for two? Does he want us to play cautiously for the rest of the game?"
(LenDale White goes to pick up his helmet and gets his head stepped on by Albert Haynesworth)
(Cortland Finnegan) "I am not sure he wants us to play cautiously, I think maybe Coach Fisher realizes this is going to be a close game where every point is crucial and there is really no reason to take a chance at leaving points on the board in a game like this. The Ravens have a great defense and so do we, there is a good chance the game will be extraordinarily close, so kicking the extra point is the smartest thing in the world to do."
(Kerry Collins) "Gregg Easterbrook will not like this."
On a windy day, the loss pushed the home team out of field goal range; Tennessee went for it on fourth-and-8, and a bad snap led to another loss of yardage. In a game ultimately decided by a field goal, Tennessee's failure to score on this possession was critical.
I bet Gregg gives a "bawwwwk, bawwwk" call for the Titans if they did not go for it on fourth down, but criticizes them here for not scoring. In summary, Gregg would criticize the Titans if they punt and if they go for it. And you thought bloggers were hard on coaches.
TMQ counted one thousand one, one thousand two, one thousand three, one thousand four, one thousand five, as the Cards' offensive line, led by unknown Mike Gandy, kept a five-man Carolina blitz far from Kurt Warner, who threw to Larry Fitzgerald for the touchdown that made the halftime score a shocking 27-7.
Mike Gandy was actually the only guy blocking five guys. He is an amazing person. Let's see, the Cards have 5 offensive lineman and the Panthers "blitzed" one person, is it a huge shock the offensive line was able to pick this up? This is actually hurting me to type.
This is classic Washington hypocrisy: I demand special treatment, but everyone else should be accountable to the public.
This is actually how ESPN treats Bill Simmons. Exactly the same way.
Yet the Titans' defense played well throughout, and trailing 10-7, the home team reached fourth-and-inches on the visitors' 10 with 4:26 remaining. Tennessee had the home-crowd energy and, to that point, 116 yards rushing. Go for it! Jeff Fisher sent out the field-goal team, no doubt thinking he could not bear another trip into Baltimore territory without points.
There is no way in hell you can criticize a coach for deciding to tie a ball game with 4:26 left in the fourth quarter. To go for it would be absolute coaching malpractice. You can't criticize h--
Yet he would have been better off to go for it and miss than to kick! By taking the field goal, Tennessee only tied the game, leaving Baltimore 4:23 and a timeout to try to win.
No, no, no, no. By not getting the first down, it would mean Baltimore only has to bleed the clock out and they win the game. That's it. Coach Fisher had faith in his defense at home, which is absolutely what you are supposed to do. ESPN should not allow TMQ to criticize this decision because it shows that Gregg does not even begin to understand football strategy.
But if Tennessee had gone for it and missed, his defense still would have needed a stop -- and Baltimore would have been pinned deep in its own end of the field.
If Tennessee did not get a stop then the Ravens win the game with it not being a tied game. I am not arguing this. To leave 3 points on the board in a 10-7 game is worth being fired immediately after the game or possibly before the next kick off.
If Tennessee went for it and made the first down, chances were good for a touchdown to take the lead while grinding clock, so the slow-moving Baltimore offense would have little time to reply.
If they did not make it, chances are good Baltimore bleeds the clock and wins. If you can't see this, then please never question any coach's strategy ever again.
Carolina scored easily on its first possession, then forced the Cardinals into a fourth-and-23. At that point, you could see Cats players dancing and celebrating on the sideline. Only four minutes had been played, but Carolina seemed to think the game was already in the bank.
Any act of celebrating automatically means the team thinks the game is over.
Carolina players, and perhaps coaches, must have assumed Arizona would be an automatic W and were looking ahead to an NFC Championship Game matchup against a much higher-regarded NFC East team.
Clearly, they were excited about the game next week against a higher regarded NFC East team (despite the fact the game had not been played yet) and were not happy they scored and now had the Cardinals in a fourth and 23.
There was still time, especially since pulling to 30-14 would have brought the home crowd to life and made Arizona nervous. But reaching first-and-10 on the Arizona 47 with 4:05 in the third quarter, Carolina went pass for 5 yards, incompletion, incompletion, incompletion -- and TMQ wrote the words "game over" in his notebook.
How daring to say a 30-7 game is over with 4:05 left in the 3rd quarter and the team with 30 points has the ball. Now I know why ESPN hired you, not only do you provide excellent analysis but you can also predict the future.
Watching the little-known Gandy outperform the hyped Peppers, who earns at least five times as much, was a treat.
I want to go on record here as saying I hope the Panthers don't resign Peppers, I want them to franchise him, and try to trade him. He is going to want too much money for what he does on the field. Sounds crazy but I watch him in every game and he disappears for extended periods of time. He is a great player, just not worth what he is going to want to make.
Carolina's offensive line starts two highly paid first-round-drafted tackles. Quickly now, can you name anyone from the Arizona front seven that outperformed Carolina's big-deal blockers?
I realize Gregg is sort of a dumbass but I don't think Jordan Gross and Jeff Otah were the problem against the Cardinals. It was Delhomme, the Panthers offensive game plan, and the Panthers defensive game plan. Not the tackles.
The Patriots and Sooners became discombobulated by press coverage; both were accustomed to defensive backs playing soft to prevent big gains. Third, when you face a high-scoring team, have a positive defensive attitude.
Press coverage and a positive attitude, that is all you really need to cover Randy Moss. Just smile and get right in Moss's face. Ignore the fact he is 6 foot 4 inches, runs a 4.5 40 and if the defensive line does not get to the QB, there is a good chance there will be a touchdown scored, because that won't happen with a positive attitude.
Do you know how you stop the Sooners and Patriots? Pressure on the QB and don't allow the receivers to get large gains. I am not a football genius so I can't tell you how exactly to do this, but at least I have a semblance of a clue.
Who hired Gregg? I really don't think he understands football, I am typing this in a pleading manner because it concerns me.
Oklahoma went into the BCS title game on an incredible run of five straight 60-plus scoring days, and seemed concerned with flashy touchdowns scored quickly so people would "ooh" and "aah." Reaching third-and-goal on the Florida 1, Oklahoma went ultra-hurry-up, then ultra-hurry-up again on fourth-and-goal, ending up with nothing. Both plays were snapped seconds after the ball was signaled ready for play, and both looked disorganized. At the 1, why not huddle and get things right? But the Sooners wanted people to say, "Look how fast they scored, how do they do that?" TMQ thinks if the same Oklahoma squad had entered the BCS title game not being a record-setting points team, the Sooners' chances would have been better. Players would have been focused on victory rather than on running up the score, and been psychologically prepared to be happy with a 17-13 win rather than obsessed with impressing people by scoring really fast.
TMQ may want to take into account that the no huddle offense and quick strike ability is what makes Oklahoma such a great team. Why the hell would they have been in better shape in the BCS Title Game if they had not been a record setting points team? This makes no logical sense. I think if they were not a record setting points team they would not be in the BCS Title Game. TMQ doesn't think of it that way though, he prefers to make statements that can have no factual basis.
Now I am referring to Gregg in the "TMQ third person" like he does.
The reimagined "Battlestar Galactica" returns to the air Friday and will stumble toward its final episode and final question: In the end, will anything make sense? Much of the show so far has made little sense, for instance the contention that it is physically impossible to tell a human from the evil Cylon cyborgs, even via medical examination. The cyborg characters are depicted as having super-strength and powers such as telepathic communication that projects instantaneously across light-years. You couldn't have such powers without mechanisms or internal organs to support them, and thus it would be possible to tell humans from cyborgs.
There are these things called "message boards," you should try to join one of those and then you could actually get a response to this observation. I am not sure a sports web site is the appropriate place.
Galactica found the immortality ship and blew it up; since then, we are told, the nature of Cylon existence has fundamentally transformed, because the Cylons are now mortal and must come to terms with mortality. Won't the Cylons use their seemingly unlimited super-technology to build a new resurrection ship? Don't tell me they discovered the secret of immortality and then lost the plans!
Oh yeah, don't you tell Gregg they discovered the secret of immortality and lost the plans! That makes no freaking sense. Don't piss in his Corn Flakes and tell him it is milk, he is on to you, Mr. Fictional Television Show where the entire premise violates the laws of space and time that we as humans currently know. Gregg may be able to accept there are other life forms in the universe, they speak English, and have many similar characteristics to humans, but he can not accept they lost the plans to the secret of immortality...he draws the line there.
Does anyone else find it ironic that Gregg takes the time to criticize the premise of a fictional television show but spends the rest of the column perpetrating incorrect real life football premises?
I am trying to determine now if I would rather be tortured by the dentist from the movie Marathon Man or watch any television show with Gregg Easterbrook. I think I would still watch the show with him and duct tape his mouth shut.
Because McNabb moves in a plodding manner, he never gets credit for his scrambling and throwing-on-the-run talents.
(Hurried voice) "I need an editor in here STAT, Gregg has written a sentence that needs to be reworked, give me 2 sentence fragments, four different words and we are going to need to do a complete reworking of the sentence structure and I am also going to need a consult with a realist because his entire assumption is wrong."
My guess would be he doesn't get credit for scrambling, which is not true since he is probably known with Daunte Culpepper as the only successes of the scrambling QB era but let's just continue down the dark alley of incorrectness, is because you just called him plodding. The reason Marvin Harrison does not get credit for his speed is because it is not special, much like McNabb's running speed is not special. I wish I could pose a question about something in a sentence and answer the question at the same time in the same sentence.
Trailing 23-11 early in the fourth quarter, Jersey/A went for it on fourth-and-inches from its 44 and got no push, and several Eagles defenders hit Eli Manning before his sneak could even start.
If they punt this is a definite "Bawwwwk, bawwwwk" moment. They didn't, but undeterred Gregg criticizes anyway.
The key tactical error came at 1:38 of the first half. The Giants to that point were dominating the game in yards gained and first downs, but trailed 7-5. They faced fourth-and-inches on the Philadelphia 17, in a game in which they averaged 4.3 yards per rush. This was the man-or-mouse moment, when the defending champions had their chance to take control of the contest: go for the first down, then score a touchdown for a nice intermission lead, while drilling the clock so McNabb, a master of the late second-quarter drive, had no time for reply.
Of course if they fail the "master of the late second-quarter drive" has the ball and the Giants have zero points and definitely trail at halftime.
Instead Coughlin did the supposedly "safe" thing and ordered a field goal. To that point in the game, Philadelphia had just 32 yards of offense.
I love criticizing people, I can not criticize Tom Coughlin for this decision. This is not quite as certain as Jeff Fisher's decision, but you kick a field goal here. The defense has given up 32 yards so far, there is no reason to not make this decision and for a field goal.
Before the half could end, the Eagles moved 65 yards down the field, kicking a field goal with a second left on the clock. So Jersey/A's "safe" kick decision did the team no good, because Philadelphia still led by two at halftime anyway.
So the decision actually had no impact on the outcome of the game. Seems like we have been talking about a lot of decisions lately that had zero impact on the game.
More important, the decision fired the Eagles up. Philadelphia players seemed to sense that Jersey/A was playing not to lose, rather than playing to win.
I am sure that is what the Eagles thought. At that point they had no interest in playing the game and actually winning, they just wanted to make sure they would not get hurt and could go out for ice cream after the game, but after the Giants re-took the lead in the game before halftime, they realized the Giants, by scoring points and now winning the game, had no interest in winning the game.
In kick-or-go situations, TMQ asks: "What does my opponent hope I will do?" With the Giants facing fourth-and-inches on the Philadelphia 17, the Eagles unquestionably hoped the Giants would kick.
Sure. Whatever you say.
Two snaps later, Philadelphia faced third-and-goal on the Giants' 2 with 4:10 remaining. The Eagles threw incomplete, stopping the clock, then kicked a field goal for a 23-11 lead. TMQ thinks Philadelphia should have run on third down, keeping the clock ticking, then run again on fourth-and-goal. At that point a Philadelphia touchdown would have ended the game, while a Philadelphia failure would have pinned the Giants' on their 1 yard line with three minutes to play and needing two scores. Kicking kept the Giants just barely in the game -- it's what the Giants were hoping Philadelphia would do.
Keep this in mind.
The Giants only went no-huddle for one play and for the rest took their sweet time and ran as if trying to grind the clock -- the possession was rush, rush, rush, short pass, rush, rush and now it's fourth-and-2 with the clock down to 6:40. Of course the Giants are going for it, but time to make a statement, play-fake and throw deep! Instead another rush and no push, Philadelphia ball, and TMQ wrote the words "game over" in his notebook.
You dingleheimer! Be consistent. I thought the game was over, you even wrote that in your My Little Pony notebook, but somehow you criticize the Eagles for their actions after the game was over. You can't take credit for thinking a game is over and then saying later that you did not think the game was over. Don't contradict yourself and don't make shit up. Two excellent writing principles.
The episode's inexplicable plot twist is that suddenly the Matt Saracen character is an accomplished artist who is applying to the Art Institute of Chicago rather than to a regular college. We see his lovely sketches and drawings all over the modest bungalow he shares with his grandmother; Julie, Matt's girlfriend, is admiring the latest Saracen. In three years of the series, none of this has ever been mentioned before. Not only has Matt's artistic ability popped out of the air, so have all the sketches and portfolios around his house. Previously, Matt was a hardworking football player who worried that his life had no direction beyond sports. Suddenly he's a starving artist!
Three things that never cease to amaze me:
1. My panther/cat's fascination with coffee.
2. Writers who write something and contradict themselves later...and they never catch it.
3. Gregg Easterbrook's constant need to analyze shows which have a sole purpose of entertaining us.
Is it really hard to think maybe there is something about a person you did not know? Especially a fictional character? It took until Season 10 to find out that Ross had gone to New York for a ballet class on Friends, so this incident has a precedent. (I think it was a ballet class.)
San Diego began the game with a smart psychological ploy. Speed receiver Vincent Jackson had been shut out by the Colts, then during the week, was charged with driving under the influence. Their first play call was a deep post to him, though Philip Rivers couldn't get the pass his way.
I am currently searching for a correlation between DUI's and first play of the game going to a player. There is none.
Obviously if they'd gone and scored, TMQ would have written "game over" in his notebook. Had Pittsburgh taken the field goal, the Steelers would have led by 14, but then had to kick off, likely giving San Diego good field position with a full quarter remaining. That would have kept San Diego in the contest.
Oh yes, ensuring the Chargers have to get two touchdowns, rather than a touchdown and a field goal would have put the Chargers right back in the game. Good analysis.
God, Gregg writes long columns.
On the fourth-and-goal from the San Diego 1, the Chargers were hoping Pittsburgh would kick a field goal.
If this were a fictional television show and I was Gregg Easterbrook, I would be asking, "If Gregg can tell us exactly what the Chargers were thinking and can predict the future, how come he can't tell us who is going to win from week to week?"
Titans tailback Chris Johnson had 12 touches for 100 yards against Baltimore in the first half, then sat out the second half with an injury. The energetic Johnson leaving the game and the plodding, low-intensity LenDale White coming in was a factor in the favorite's defeat.
Maybe another reason to kick a field goal with 4 minutes left in the fourth quarter and not go for it on fourth down while your team is down three points. That is unforgiveably poor analysis that will not be forgotten by me.
I really believe Gregg does not understand football, because if he thinks does actually understand football, someone needs to re-explain it to him ASAP. I just don't see how ESPN can allow him to write such horrible criticism on their site. He tends to criticize completely rational and smart decisions, this is what leads me to wonder if he understands the sport.
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