MMQB Review: The Mark Sanchez Era at MMQB Has Begun

I don't know if anyone heard or not, but Mark Sanchez got traded to the New York Jets. That's enough to make Peter King leave his new dog loving digs in Boston to head back to Jersey. Mark Sanchez is like Brett Favre, Matt Ryan, and Ben Affleck all rolled into one. We are going to be hearing an awful lot about him in the future in Peter's MMQB.

Let's hear what Peter has to say about the draft.

I'm going to have 32 opinions on 32 teams here in a few paragraphs, and a few will surprise you.

The only thing that could surprise me is if I agree with Peter on his opinions.

But I've got to start off with a cool story that played a big part in the trade of the weekend -- and, in all likelihood, the trade of the year in the NFL.

Yes, you have heard it hear first. The trade of the year in the NFL dealt involved a completely unproven rookie QB who only started for one year in college for 2 unknown draft picks and three guys that few people have heard of. THE TRADE OF THE YEAR! If tomorrow Julius Peppers and Anquan Boldin get traded for each other and then the Cardinals ship Peppers to Houston for Steve Slaton and finally Carolina trades Anquan Boldin for a 1st round pick, it will not be as big as this trade...mostly because this trade involved the Jets and the media's new golden boy, Mark Sanchez.

Really, if this trade ends up being the trade of the year in the NFL, then this is going to be a very boring year in regards to trades. This could only be considered the trade of the year if you are a braindead sportswriter or a Jets fan.

1. Safety Abram Elam, the most important of three players in the deal between Cleveland and the Jets that netted USC quarterback Mark Sanchez.

I like how Peter usually picks the most marginal player to be the key in the trade. Kyle Orton and Abram Elam, who is 27 and has a total of 79 tackles in the NFL have been the key to the last two major trades Peter has written about.

Given that the Jets didn't want to include their 2010 first-round pick in the deal, they had to get creative and throw in three players coach Mangini wanted: Elam, defensive lineman Kenyon Coleman and backup quarterback Brett Ratliff.

And really, those three guys who are all fairly non-descript players, are much better than a 1st round draft pick. Who can really question Eric Mangini's expertise with player personnel? He's the Mangenius!

In March, Elam signed the offer sheet with Cleveland; he thought he'd be a Brown. A week later, the Jets matched the offer, and now he thought he was a Jet for good. So now the Jets had to find some face-saving way to ask Elam to sign this formal document approving a trade ... a trade that might not happen.

Perhaps Peter could offer a massage or maybe a one hour dinner with him at Jerome Bettis' restaurant? Otherwise, I think showing up on his doorstep with a bundt cake would be the best way to get Elam to sign this deal.

On Saturday, the draft got to Cleveland's pick. The Browns were set on moving down, and they pulled the trigger. The deal got approved by the league when it looked over the paperwork and saw Elam's signature on the legal document approving the trade.
And now you know ... the rest of the story.

Wow, that's how the TRADE OF THE YEAR happened? It seems so simple and understated, almost like it was just a standard trade between two lousy teams who traded an unproven quarterback for two unknown draft picks and three non-descript players. I am sure it was much more than that to Peter though. It was the arrival of Mark Sanchez in New York. He is so dreamy!

We won't know if Sanchez is going to make it for a few years, obviously.

TRADE OF THE YEAR IN THE NFL!

If trading three average players for a guy who is not expected to make an immediate impact is not the trade of the year, then I want no part of this world.

But I like teams that love players and, within reason, break the bank to get them. I like the moves.

Hmmm...the phrases "breaking the bank" and "within reason" do seem sort of mutually exclusive to me.

So in 2002 if the Packers loved Joey Harrington and then broke the bank to get him, but within reason of course, Peter King would still love this trade? I don't believe this.

Let's look briefly -- and in a few cases not-so-briefly -- at nuggets for the 32 teams (click team name to see complete draft class):

Nuggets! We have a food alert!

Atlanta

Thomas Dimitroff overpaid for a 33-year-old tight end in year 13, but Dimitroff has proven in 14 months on the job that he doesn't care what you and I and the man in the moon think about things like Sam Baker picked too high at 21, or a two for Gonzalez. He just gets the right players and doesn't beat himself up too much over the compensation.

Exactly, he overpays for the right players, not always a bad move. How does he know he is overpaying for the right players, meaning how does he know which players are the right players? Well let's just say, he worked for New England at one time...that is all you really need to know Falcons fans. Sleep better...

Baltimore.

Now they just might have a DE to rival Jared Allen for motor -- Utah's Paul Kruger, a first-round prospect on one draft board I know of.

One team out of 32 teams thought he was a first round draft pick and this is supposed to prove he could have been a 1st round pick? Probably the Raiders were the ones that had him that high.

Carolina.

I like the Syracuse fullback, 246-pound Tony Fiammetta, probably the best blocking back in college football last year, at pick 128. DeAngelo Williams might be better this year with Fiammetta clearing the way.

He ran for 1,500 yards and 18 touchdowns last year. I think he has reached his ceiling, he is not getting any better than that.

Cleveland.

Now, judging the trade: Tough call. I had one GM say it was a rout for the Jets, another said the Browns won. Not to cop out, but we need time to see how the Browns did.

I am in the minority on this when I say I think there were no winners in the Cleveland-New York Jets trade. Again, I may be wrong.

What will always shadow McDaniels, of course, is using the first of two first-round picks on a running back with crying needs across the board on defense. "I've learned the hard way that running backs are hard to come by,'' said McDaniels, "and we thought he was the best one.''

There is no way in hell Denver Broncos fans are buying this logic. They have put fullbacks as running backs and gotten 1,000 yard rushing seasons out of them...especially with the great offensive line the Broncos have. I like Moreno but don't like this decision to not go defense. In my opinion, they had to go defense with their 1st two picks in the draft.

Detroit.

Never, ever, ever have I heard a fan base boo the prospect quarterback and wild cheer a linebacker who doesn't sack the quarterback

I demand to know since when the ultimate job of a linebacker has been to sack the quarterback? When did that become how we judge a linebacker?

Kansas City.

Scott Pioli's first draft was like the Patriots' first few with Pioli running the scouting department in New England: blue-collar players who love the game and will work at it. Tyson Jackson may not lead the league in sacks (he had 18.5 in three starting seasons at LSU), but he will lead the team in "yes sirs'' and will play all four spots on the defensive line.

Probably the worst analysis of a team's choices I have read yet. Nothing football related...but I do know "yes sirs" are now worth half of a sack AND Tyson Jackson is going to have fantasy eligibility at DE and LB (wait, are there are even positions for both of those?). The Chiefs will also get extra points each game for the team displaying enthusiasm at the beginning of the game, much like a cheerleading contest. This has all the makings of a 7-9 team...but a really happy one, which is all that really matters.

New England.

I go into the Patriots in more depth later,

Does that shock anyone at all? A MMQB would not be complete without a little bit of overdiscussion about the state of the Patriots.

but I thought it was a strange draft, almost drunk with the power of moving back.

Peter is overkilling any criticism of the Patriots here to throw me off his track. It's not working, he will be praising this draft in three years. I thought it was a great draft for the Patriots. Chung, Brace, and Butler are all going to be solid pros.

San Diego.

I was like everyone else -- Larry English at 16? Crazy -- till I got on the phones Saturday night and kept hearing, "Great pick.''

One of my favorite characteristics of Peter King is his ability to never take a stand on anything. He lets other people dictate how he feels about players. If he thought English was picked too early then he should just stick with his opinion, who cares what other's thought about it...but that's not how Peter works, plus I have a feeling he has no clue who Larry English is.

Seattle

And Aaron Curry is a bulletproof pick. He should lead that defense for years.

But he can't rush the passer! But he can't rush the passer! How is he going to be any good if he can't do that? That's what LB's do, right? Rush the passer and never tackle the ball carrier?

Washington

I like Brian Orakpo, if he's playing hard every snap.

The good news is that Orakpo and Vernon Gholston don't have far to travel to discuss how to make it look like they are exerting themselves on the football field.

"Every team that passed on me will regret it for the rest of the history of their franchise.''--Tackle Eben Britton, drafted 39th overall by the Jacksonville Jaguars.

Chicago and Dallas are in the clear. Their first picks came after No. 39. But all you other teams out there, all 29, you're in big, big trouble.

Actually Carolina picked at #43 as well, so they are in the clear. Thanks for forgetting about us.

I hate bitching about not getting respect or any type of coverage, and I know Carolina is not the only team this happens to, but between zero mention of the Julius Peppers situation and the fact he forgets about Carolina here, I get the feeling there are only a few teams Peter actually knows anything about. I wonder what other franchises in the NFL feel a little bit left out sometimes by Peter? Of course, I generally hate anything he does write about them, so I need to stop complaining.

In three seasons at Maryland, Heyward-Bey had four 100-yard receiving games. He never had more than five touchdown catches in a season.

Peter and I completely agree. If there was one pick in this draft I absolutely hated, it was the first two picks by the Raiders. I am glad I am not a Raiders fan because I would be setting up the site www.euthanizealdavisnow.com five minutes after the Martin Mitchell pick.

One other note from the road:

Changing planes at DFW Sunday, I used the men's room near one of the American gates. I walked into one of the toilet stalls with the automatic flushers.

WHOOOOOSH. I closed the door to the stall and sat down.

Three more times I heard the same WHOOOOOSH as I sat there and minded my own business.

Of course, no flush when I get up and leave the stall. Gotta love technology.

Oh yes, we just got a play-by-play of Peter King taking a shit. This is a column about football and he threw in a part about him taking a shit in the toilet at an airport. I said a few months ago we were five years away from him describing his fecal matter in great detail to us. I just moved that timeline up 2 years. It's now 3 years before he starts discussing it. I am actually marginally excited about this for some reason. If only because I get to write about it in the aftermath and really poop jokes are my favorite.

Bill Belichick took time out to mail a very nice note and donation to the Dr. Z benefit, which is now three short weeks away. He wrote: "My best wishes for a successful fund-raising effort in support of Paul Zimmerman, one of the great keepers of the football flame. Sincerely, Bill Belichick.''

I really did not need to know exactly what he wrote. I feel like after Spygate Peter needs to prove Belichick is a good person when everyone knows he is.

I did not think Belichick wrote, "Go fuck yourself asshole. Oh yeah, you can't, you had a stroke. Go dream about fucking yourself Dr. Shithead. Eat my ass, Bill Belichick."

To recap, SI pro football writing legend Paul Zimmerman suffered three strokes in late November and is currently unable to read, write or speak coherently. We're trying to jump-start his therapy and road back to writing one day, hopefully, by raising money to allow him to undergo some aggressive therapy in Michigan and New Jersey.

I am going to write this again. I really hope some of this money is going to other victims of strokes. Dr. Z is probably in the 1% income bracket here in America and I would say many of those in the 99% of America's income bracket could use this therapy as well. I hope it is going to them.

Also, the fact Dr. Z can't read, doesn't stop Peter from leaving a note in his MMQB for him. It's almost like he is taunting him.

f. The Mid-American Conference has first-, second- and third-team all-conference teams. Ohio University safety Michael Mitchell did not make any of the three last fall. The Raiders used the 15th pick of the second round on Mitchell.

If any Raider fans read this blog, please start a blog called www.euthanizealdavis.com. Do it for me please, I think it would be hilarious. If someone doesn't do this, I will do it and then let everyone grip about the Raiders on it.

l. You watch: Abram Elam will make a Pro Bowl someday in Cleveland.

I don't really know about this. I think Peter is going overboard about a guy who is 27 years old and has had a fairly average career so far. Not to mention Kerry Rhodes, Ed Reed, Troy Polamalu, and Bob Sanders play in his conference. That's just off the top of my head some of the other safeties in the AFC who will most likely voted into the Pro Bowl before Elam.

p. I don't like Brian Hartline to the Dolphins in the fourth round.

No!!! Peter doesn't like it!

I love it.

Peter, you rascal! You got me again.

q. I like Seattle's forward-thinking and all. But Mike Teel? I mean, does Seattle have a scout on the East Coast? And did he actually watch a Rutgers game the past couple of years?

Teel did throw 7 touchdowns in 3 quarters against Louisville this year. Just thought I would mention someone did watch a Rutgers game. Teel is pretty hot and cold but when he is hot, he plays very well. I wonder if Peter watched a Rutgers game? He is the all-time winningest QB in team history, not that it means everything, but it should count for a little bit of something when looking at players in the later rounds.

Except for well-regarded cornerback Darius Butler, the Patriots four second-rounders were greeted with shoulder shrugs around the league. I really like Brandon Tate, warts and all, because he's probably the best returner in the draft, and if he screw up one time with his poor personal track record, the Patriots can just cut him. But the upside on him -- as it might have been with Harvin -- is big when you've got such a big cushion because of all the extra draft picks.

I liked the picks actually. I thought they got good value in Butler, Chung could very well be better than Sanders and Meriweather, and Brace is a good fit for when/if Seymour leaves after this year (I think he is a FA after this year).

g. Zim, please come back. You can have the mock back next year. I just borrowed it for a year. It's your franchise.

The poor man can't read right now, please quit taunting him Peter.

8. I think the Vikings easily took the biggest risks on draft weekend, picking all-purpose threat Percy Harvin at 22 and tackle Phil Loadholt at 54. Foxsports.com reported Harvin tested positive for marijuana use at the Scouting Combine, which would mean he enters the NFL with one strike against him on the NFL's substance-abuse policy. Loadholt had off-field issues too, getting arrested for suspicion of DUI/disorderly conduct.

This proves to me Brad Childress is on the hot seat. Both are potentially great players and Harvin, whether he smokes pot or not, is going to be fast as hell in that dome.

Also, I would take any of the starting offensive linemen from the Oklahoma team last year, they were absolute beasts up front, so I would not fault them too much for Loadholt.

e. Mariano Rivera's career blown saves against Boston: 12. Mariano Rivera's career blown saves against the other 28 teams in baseball: 47.

The Red Sox intimidate everyone, Mariano Rivera is not excluded from this.

f. Wow. Did you see the straight steal of home by Jacoby Ellsbury Sunday night? I can't remember the last one of those I saw. I kept thinking, Jackie Robinson!

Jackie Robinson and Jacoby Ellsbury just got mentioned in the same sentence or at least two sentences apart.

There is no comparison, Jacoby Ellsbury is one of the first Native Americans to play in the major leagues, he is dreamy to look at and plays for the Red Sox...what the hell did Jackie Robinson ever do? I am sure he broke no records and surely couldn't steal home with as much grit as Ellsbury.

i. And great to have you home, Jack Bowers. You've got a little surprise, and I mean little, coming from your beloved St. Louis Cardinals in the mail.

It's a bomb and you have 24 hours to disarm it...oh yes and Jack, they have Kim hostage.

j. I do believe it might be time to throttle the season down for a while. Talk about a never-ending campaign. Have a good week.

Don't leave us Peter. What else will I write about on Mondays?