Ten Things I Think I Think Peter King Has Not Thought Of: Contradicting TMQ Edition

I think everyone knows the drill of the "Ten Things..." by now, so I don't really need to explain it. I am busy at work which means I won't be searching for articles today and will just use some good ones I already have.

1. Bill Simmons wrote an article yesterday and it wasn't so bad. That is completely relative of course. In my opinion a "not bad" article by Simmons is a horrible article by someone else. Commenter Ivn actually broke it down much better than I could have in a much shorter time span, so rather than pretend I am bringing up my own points on this article that was really not horrible as a whole, I will give Ivn all the credit and just put some of what he wrote here...then of course I will comment and give us the self referential and pop culture count.

- he kind of defends Rondo's foul on Miller last night (although to be fair he does say later on Rondo should be suspended)

I don't know about suspended but I think if you are going to say he needed to be suspended then it should also have been called a flagrant foul. I don't see how it can't be a flagrant foul at that point and the player still get suspended. That's just my position on things like this. I think a player should be suspended only if the foul was called a flagrant.

- the Pantheon of Faces: "the Brad Miller 'I just got whacked in the face, my lip is swelling, my mouth tastes like blood, I'm seeing stars, and now I have to make two humongous free throws' Face as well as the Brad Miller 'I just missed the first free throw, now I really have to play up how much this hurts and act like I might keel over' Face"

Oh yes, a new Pantheon of Faces entry! How awesome, I hope this makes it to Bill's wikipedia page. I think Bill's goal is to be the first person to have a wikipedia page that links to another wikipedia page because it is so large.

- the most bizarre theory I've ever heard: "You know what else? A reader (can't remember his name) pointed out something to me that I passed along in a podcast and now I will mention here: Kidd is the only guy who can defend LeBron and Kobe. Why? They respect him too much. They don't want to kick his butt. It doesn't make them feel good. They settle for jumpers instead of just destroying him off the dribble in a goofy display of guilt and respect."

I will let Ivn sum this one up.

(what the fuck?)

(This is the most half assed theory I have heard in a while come from Bill. I don't even know if LeBron and Kobe can be defended by Jason Kidd, but even if they can, I would have to doubt this is the reason.)

- Pantheon of Faces-ish, part II: "He let down LeBron so many times that LeBron developed an actual 'Drew Gooden disappointed me yet again and I might have to kill him soon' frown."

After a while, all of these faces just turn into a cliche and don't really mean anything. There are only so many "Faces" that can be created until the Manning Face looks like the Drew Gooden Frown and it turns out many of the "Faces" are just the same face with a different name...which they are anyway.

- a new corollary/theory: "Just one. I call it the Andre Iguodala Corollary -- namely, if you just sucked for the last two minutes of Game 1, bricked two free throws and missed another shot, you are not allowed to prance around like a superstar if you happen to make an absolutely atrocious stutter-step fallaway for the lead -- a shot that you never should have taken in a million years. I will allow you to chest-bump a teammate or two, but that's it," which includes...

I don't know, that seems like kind of a long drawn-out corollary to me. I am not saying it won't catch on with Bill's Simmonsites/SimmonsClones, I never underestimate them, but this is going to be a hard one to self reference back on.

Thanks for the quick summary Ivn, you saved me a lot of writing in vain.

Pop culture count: 8 (Yes, I did not divide by 50)

Self referential count: 7 (Again, I am as saddened as you all are)

2. Gregg Easterbrook made a comment in his TMQ on Tuesday that he is suspicious of players who played on the same team at the same position in college because often one makes another look better than he is. In the comments, we had been naming players this would/would not pertain to. I want to prove Gregg wrong. So today's physical challenge is to think of players who played together, at the same position, in college and played in the NFL and either both sucked, one sucked and the other didn't, or neither sucked.

The rules are that they have to play the same position in college and have played actually together on the field for a year or so. They also have to play a position where the play of one at the position could reflect positively or negatively on the other at the same position, so basically no comparing quarterbacks, kickers, punters, and I would even say it is hard to compare DE and DT (like Ryan Sims and Julius Peppers) or LT and a Guard. I want to see if Gregg has reason to think there could be a trend here or is full of shit.

So far we have:

Kamerion Wimberly (if he was a LB in college) and Ernie Sims: one average and one great OR

Wimberly (if he was a DE in college) and Bunkley (though he is a DT): both suck

Manny Lawson and Mario Williams: one sucks and one is great

AJ Hawk and Bobby Carpenter: one is average and one sucks

Chad Johnson and TJ Houshmanzedah: both are great

Marcus Stroud (though he was a DT), Charles Grant, Richard Seymour: all are great

Michael Haynes and Jimmy Kennedy: both suck

John Henderson and Albert Haynesworth: both are great

Philip Buchanon, Mike Rumph and Ed Reed: average, sucks, great

Vince Wilfork, Jerome McDougle, William Joseph: great, sucks, average

Reggie Wayne and Santana Moss: both are great

Ronnie Brown and Cadillac Williams and Brandon Jacobs: great and average (injuries), great

Dwayne Bowe and Buster Davis: great and average

Jevon Kearse and Reggie McGrew: average and sucks

Felix Jones and Darren McFadden: too early to tell

D.J. Williams and Jonathan Vilma: (though both are injured, both are pretty good)

Play along if you care to and give some more names that match the semi-rules I gave and we can see if Gregg is right. I am looking to do a final tally here soon so we can find out if Gregg is making things up or not.

3. A-Rod is re-fucked in regards to having any credibility in the world of baseball.

Rodriguez put on 25 pounds of muscle between his sophomore and junior years. Former high school teammates told Roberts that A-Rod was using steroids back then and his coach knew it -- an allegation the coach, Rich Hoffman, denied.

That could very well be puberty kicking in, though I don't recall gaining 25 pounds of muscle when I hit puberty. What's funny is that even his high school teammates are selling him out. Normally guys would be bragging they played ball with A-Rod in high school and trying to help him out and not rat him out, but his high school teammates are throwing him under the bus. You would think they would kiss up to him, even though they don't see him anymore, so the high school team doesn't get a semi-black eye for their accomplishments, but they don't. Does anyone like this guy?

• A-Rod "pitch tipped" when he played for the Rangers by letting opponents at the plate know which pitch was coming in lopsided games. A-Rod expected players he helped would reciprocate when he was having an off night and needed to get his batting average up.

This pisses me off as much as the steroids allegations do. It's one thing to try and help your team by cheating, its still cheating, but you are trying to help yourself and your team, but to give away pitch type to the opposing team in blowouts is some shady bullshit. A-Rod is actually hurting his own teammates in this situation, which is the lowest of lows in my book.

There could be a guy on the mound, even in a blowout, looking to pitch a couple of innings in the hopes he could get in the game in a key situation and A-Rod is screwing him over from ever getting that chance. No wonder Texas pitching was so bad, A-Rod helped the other team out.

• A-Rod was hated at Hooters, where he tipped the minimum 15 percent.

Ok, that is just funny to me. I don't know if it is the fact he was hated at Hooters or the fact he only tipped 15% when he made $250 million or the mental image of Hooters waitresses telling Selena Roberts they hate A-Rod, but this amuses me.

4. If this surprises anyone, you don't watch MLB and are not familiar with Scott Boras or the Yankees.

"I think a little bit as a human being you can't help but to think that if the Yankees are interested I would definitely consider it. I wouldn't be looking around if I were under contract for the four years, but I think I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't be interested, especially with the Yankees being such a storied franchise. So yeah, you take a look around; you never know what's going to happen. This is a beautiful place."

If I am not wrong, Hideki Matsui is a free agent after this year and Johnny Damon's contract runs out as well. We all know what that means. Matt Holliday, barring a massive offer from an expected team is going to be a New York Yankee next year. It's happening, let's just go ahead and accept it.

I don't think there should be a salary cap in baseball, but as I have said before, I think it is disturbing when anytime a good, young player becomes a free agent, you know exactly what team he is going to end up playing for. If anyone thinks Hanley Ramirez is not going to be a Red Sox or a Yankee at some point in the near future, you are probably wrong. I just wish teams could keep players that are homegrown (and yes, I realize Ramirez and Holliday are not home grown by the team they currently play for), not to mention it just depresses me to know top players will have to take a hometown discount when they become free agents to stay with their current team. The Yankees will always outbid everyone for a free agent, it is just going to happen.

5. As always, Bill Plaschke writes the book on how to do reactionary journalism. This was written after the one loss the Lakers suffered against the Jazz.

Just as we marveled at how they can soar, we must now acknowledge how they can stink.

This was after they lost 1 game. 1 game in Utah, by two points...after they had blown a 13 point lead. Things aren't that bad.

Wonder what the folks in Cleveland were thinking when they watched this mess. So far this spring, the NBA-leading Cavaliers have struck me as anything but, um, lazy.

The Cavs were probably too worried about the Pistons to worry about the Lakers at this point in the playoffs. Even if they did watch the Lakers game it was because the Cavs had the luxury of playing the Pistons, a team that absolutely laid down against the Cavs the entire series.

See what happens? The Jazz now have the energy to push this series further than necessary. The Lakers now have the doubts that will make this series tougher than expected.

The Lakers won the next two games by 11 points and 14 points.

All of these little things add up to a longer road to Cleveland, and a wearier team once they arrive.

The Celtics played in several 7 game series last year and it did not stop them from beating the Lakers nor winning the NBA Championship. Bad point by Bill.

Most likely, by June, this game will be remembered as a hiccup.

Yet, Bill still feels the need to write an entire article about it...and he is writing in a panic.

After Ariza's three-pointer in the middle of the third quarter, I made an announcement to anyone who would listen."It's over!" I declared.

Bill Plaschke is a sage...or he is that dumbass that screams shit like this as the other fans cringe that he just called the game as being over way too early.

The Jazz lost eight games here this season. They apparently lost fans in the process, with empty green seats visible throughout the arena Thursday.

The Jazz went 31-8 at home this year. That is not exactly horrible, the Jazz have one of the best point guards in the NBA, which is the Lakers weakest point...oh, and the final result is the Jazz only won one game, after the Lakers collapsed, and only won the game by 2 points. Really, this article did not need to be written.

6. Lenny Dykstra is not only an accused steroid user but now he is completely full of shit.

I don't know how many of you read this article already but it is worth reading in my opinion, even if it is long. To hear Dykstra talk, you just get the feeling that he is incredibly full of shit, and you also wonder how come his "investors" don't see this as well. He is a pathetic human being. I never liked him as a Phillie and Met and I definitely don't like him at all now.

Other sites have said it when speaking about this article, but if Mike Fish ever shows up at your door and wants to speak with you, don't answer and go missing. He will make you look bad.

7. Rick Reilly gets paid millions of dollars to write articles like this.

OK, listen up! The reason I've gathered every single member of every American sports posse, cru and entourage here is to say one thing:

He spelled crew as "cru." I have never seen this before. This article is an example of the situation in an article where the first part of it is the best part and it only gets worse from there.

We're going to say the Pledge of the Posse. Repeat after me:

I don't see how the head of ESPN.com can look at himself in the mirror after reading a Reilly article and think, "my God, this is journalism at it's finest...I am constantly entertained by his writing. Look at me, I am beaming with pride."

I collect all cell-phone cams!
I always drive!
I don't take nights off!
I carry the gun!
I pack the bags!

These are the rules Rick Reilly has written. Try not to be too impressed at his journalistic ability.
Now get out there and loiter!

If they did loiter, that would be more work than Rick Reilly put into this article. If he is going to entertain, at least entertain. This is not even entertaining or funny.

8. Gregg Doyel writes an interesting article that I enjoyed. I enjoy too many of his articles for my own comfort. This one is about Graham Harrell and I actually believe it is worth reading because it compares Harrell to the other players taken and it does make you wonder.

You don't understand, but then, you wouldn't. All-American quarterback Graham Harrell of Texas Tech wasn't picked during the NFL Draft over the weekend, not early or late or ever, and you don't get it. But that's you.

Me, I get it. Because that's me.

Doyel, as you can see from clicking the link, goes on to list ways that Harrell is superior to those quarterbacks that were drafted, and drafted very high, in the draft. I wonder why Harrell did not get drafted? Is it because scouts think he is a system QB? He was pretty highly recruited out of high school, though they did run a similar offense to Texas Tech, if I remember correctly. I think he would be worth a late round pick.

My questions are this:

If Graham Harrell is not good enough to play in the NFL, how did he put up such great numbers at Texas Tech, and why is Michael Crabtree immune from the "system" enigma by NFL scouts?

If Graham Harrell is good enough to play in the NFL, is he ever going to get a fair shot since he wasn't drafted? There are going to be at least 3 quarterbacks in front of him he will have to beat out. That is tough.

If he can't play quarterback in the NFL, goodness, that league must be full of incredible football players.

Or stupid general managers.

I am not a Graham Harrell advocate but I am a little surprised no team took a chance on him in the draft. You all may disagree but I think this is a great article by Gregg Doyel, especially if you are like me and think Josh Freeman and Mark Sanchez (who Doyel talks about a little bit) are not quite as good as others think they are. I think Harrell has been hurt by previous Texas Tech QB's failures in the NFL.

9. Woody Paige writes about the Broncos choosing Knowshon Moreno, and he does it using his special writing talents, calling it a "no-no." That's a pun!

If Moreno is as big a bust as Steve Sewell, who also was a running back selected by the Broncos in the first round, and if Ayers, chosen No. 18 as a defensive end/outside linebacker, is as mediocre as Jarvis Moss, a defensive end (now outside linebacker), then McDaniels might be a head coach in Denver as long as his predecessor's predecessor — two seasons.

I still don't get why they chose a running back in the first round when the Broncos had so many needs on the defensive side of the ball. I really like Moreno but I don't really like him for the Broncos.

We do know that the Broncos are up to seven — or is it 70? — running backs.

The Broncos also signed three free agent running backs this offseason. I just don't know how he can convince the Denver fan base, who has seen many 1,000 yard rushers over the past several seasons from converted fullbacks and pretty much anyone pulled off the bench, that a good running back is really hard to find. The best running back in franchise history was a 6th round pick and they have a really good offensive line who is going to open up holes, no matter who runs the ball. They don't need to take a running back 12th in the NFL draft.

Hoodie & The Bluefish surprised everyone

This is a team that needs to go back from Orange Slush to Orange Crush

I don't know at what age Woody Paige is going to stop writing shit like this, but I hope it is very, very soon.

And if this team needed Moreno so much, it could have traded down in the first round, gotten another draft choice for today and still have ended up with the Georgia Peach.

Every time an ex-New England Patriot coordinator fails, it makes Bill Belichick look that much smarter.

When McDaniels emerged from the Broncos' draft think tank to answer questions about his first two picks, he sort of gave away what his plans were for the rest of the evening. He made reference to the second round and used the word "they" even though the Broncos had only one choice. They wound up with three choices. The Broncos traded away one of their two No. 1 picks in 2010 to acquire another second-rounder and used it on cornerback Alphonso Smith.

I know it is a bit of a cliche at this point in regards to McDaniels, but are we sure he is not too young for this? I kind of am starting to feel like he is a little bit young and not quite experienced enough. The Broncos could go 13-3 this upcoming year and it would not surprise me, but they could also go 4-12 and I would not be surprised either. They should have focused on defense the entire draft in my opinion.

10. I don't like NASCAR, and have never even watched a race, but David Poole was from my hometown and was pretty well known in this area. He was your typical Southern guy, that type that actually really tends to annoy me, but he really, really knew how to cover NASCAR. He died of a heart attack yesterday and I would not mention this if it were not for Joe Posnanski's wonderful tribute to him. I really like Posnanski and this tribute is one of the main reasons why.