What's Irritating Me Today

I have to admit I am a little bit surprised that Orlando is beating Cleveland like they are. Dwight Howard has played well but the real reason they are beating the Cavs is the guys around him are just shooting the lights out with 17 three point shots last night. All the talk this year has been about how Mo Williams has been found as LeBron's running mate, but the problem is there is no one on the Cavs bench really chipping in at all. I don't know if LeBron is a certainty to stay in Cleveland after 2010 or not. If LeBron had not hit that shot at the end of Game 2 the Cavs would have been swept. The best team in basketball swept by an inferior team (according to many) like the Magic...I did not expect that at all.

Gregg Doyel has a great (meaning: bad) article up about LeBron James and how we need to appreciate him and I was going to cover that, but FJMariotti did a great job of that already (click on the FJMariotti link on the side of the old blog here and you can read it!), so there is no need to review what has already been said by them. So I was looking through a bunch of articles I have bookmarked and decided I would just list the string of words in the articles that are pissing me off today.

-After listing my "dream" baseball team on Monday I started to list my "nightmare" baseball team and then I realized my entire OF would be made of my favorite baseball team's outfielders, began to weep, and then quit. I would still like to do this at some point, but I can't handle the truth right now.

-This also has nothing to do with an article of any type but I am still pissed off that Chipper Jones lost Rookie of the Year to Hideo Nomo in 1995. Yeah, I know he had a great year and the award means nothing, it just irritated me about the media's fascination with him...and yes I know they had a reason to be fascinated and I have no point but I can still complain 14 years after the fact.

Meanwhile, the reigning Rookie of the Year in the National League Geovany Soto is hitting .214 and every player below him in the voting is having a better year. Can't they just call it the "Rookie Who Had the Best Year" Award and give another "Rookie That Will Have the Best Career" Award to someone else? I don't want to care that he had a better year. Bruce, Votto, and Jurrjens will have better major league careers, and I want that to count for something.

-Peter King, shockingly, is irritating me today for various reasons. Most of all because he did not answer my well written and thoughtful email for the 5 consecutive week in his MMQB Tuesday Edition.

I've reached this point in thinking about what Michael Vick should be and how he should be used in his possible NFL reincarnation: I think he should be Devin Hester, at least at the beginning.

Peter, do you mean using modern technology to remove Devin Hester's face and put it on Mike Vick's face and vice versa just like in the blockbuster Nicholas Cage-John Travlota movie "Face Off?" If so, brilliant idea.

I don't know if he can be, but that's what I'd think if I were the Saints, Patriots or Bills, or whoever might be interested in signing him if he is reinstated to the NFL.

Well, if Mike Vick is Devin Hester, then Devin Hester is not a free agent this year so he has to play for the Chicago Bears, so the Mike Vick/Devin Hester person would not have an option unless he forced a trade.

Sarcasm aside, is this idea of Peter's that revolutionary? I thought it was pretty much assumed by everyone that the team he signed with would use Vick in a similar capacity to how Hester is used in Chicago? Vick's clearly not coming back as a fucking fullback or an offensive lineman, everyone has been talking about how he would make a wonderful wildcat quarterback and teams could use his speed to get him the ball on offense. Why is Peter so late to the party on every idea?

"I've been doing some thinking, and I believe the Lions are going to try and get Matt Stafford some good receivers to catch the ball and improve the offensive line. I think that is the best way to help make him successful."

(I know everyone is asking "Who is Matt Stafford?" because we all know Mark Sanchez was the #1 pick in the draft this year. Maybe it just feels that way.)

Maybe he becomes a guy who touches the ball six to eight times a game, 100 to 120 times the entire 2009 season, as he works his way back to an expanded role in 2010 and beyond. He could be a Wildcat quarterback for four snaps, a slot receiver one or two, or a running back taking a pitch.

Holy shit, that is exactly what everyone who else has talked about this situation has said as well Peter. Thanks for bringing up the tail end of journalism ideas on this one. Hey, someone has to be last!

Imagine if the Saints put Vick and Reggie Bush in the backfield at the same time, with the most prolific quarterback of the past three years, Drew Brees, under center.

This would be the first time Peter would notice a team not in the Northeast plays in the NFL. Then, and only then, would Peter move the Saints up to #11 in his power rankings. An underachieving running back AND a quarterback fresh out of jail, in the game at the same time? The world hasn't seen such an enigmatic backfield since...ever. Fuck it, Peter will put the Saints up to #6 in his power rankings if this happens.

Norm Woodcock, of Saskatoon, Saskatchewan: "I have a severed biceps tendon and after 18 months rehab have recovered 25 percent of my arm strength. I know Brett Favre is super human but as for being unaffected by a severed biceps tendon, I absolutely don't believe it. Sounds like agent talk.''

Norm, Peter King is about to call you a wimp. Prepare accordingly.

My understanding is Favre has been told that he'll be able to throw the ball without restriction or pain a month or so after surgery.

Translation: You Norm, are a wimp. Brett Favre is statistically 72 times more of a man than you are. He needs one month for full arm strength and you need 72 months for the same arm strength.

All I can go by is what medical sources tell me.

(I have $100 saying Peter's medical sources are Brett and Deanna Favre, PhD.)

Translation: You don't know Brett Favre, Norm. I do. He will be back and he is going to play football gloriously as millions of women and men fawn in adoration at his skills.

There was not a lot of interesting mail this week. Peter wasn't prepared to talk about football, he wanted to talk about mean dogs that bite humans.

-I am not a slave to a pitch count or anything like that, but does Dusty Baker intentionally try to ruin his pitchers?

I realize pitching to one batter is not going to ruin a pitcher, but are managers such slaves to wins that they would have a pitcher warm up for a game, cool down during the delay, then warm up again, pitch to one batter, and then be done for the day? It just doesn't make sense to me.

Yesterday afternoon/evening, he sent Aaron Harang back out to the mound to finish the fifth inning after a rain delay that lasted more than two hours. Harang only pitched to one batter after the delay and recorded a strikeout of Humberto Quintero to qualify for the win.

This is dumb. I know Harang probably wanted the win, but I can't believe it was worth it to put Harang out there for one batter.

"I'm just glad the delay wasn't any longer," Baker said. "He wanted it badly. He wanted very badly."

Baker felt the risk was minimal.

The risk to Harang's arm was minimal but the stupidity of having him warm up to pitch to one batter after throwing 83 pitches is overwhelming in my mind.

Really, this would not be a big story if Dusty Baker wasn't known as the Michael Myers of managers. After trying to kill Mark Prior and Kerry Wood's career by seeing if they can hit 200 pitches in a game, anything he does is going to be over-criticized. I am not criticizing, I just think this is stupid to have a pitcher go out after a 2 hour delay and pitch to one batter for the win.

Baker might have felt the risk was minimal, but I'm not sure anyone in their right mind would agree with him. He put a ton of extra and unnecessary stress on the arm of one of his best pitchers, just so that pitcher could pick up a cosmetic counting stat that he "wanted badly."

That's how I am thinking as well. Baker's job is to manage the team, which means dictate to the players their roles on the team, set the lineups and pitching rotation. Any pitcher is going to say that he wants a win badly because he wants to pick up the win, but the manager's job is to determine whether that stat is worth any other risk to the player. Manage the team and manage what is best for the team. That's what I would do if I were Dusty Baker and I don't know if making sure Harang gets to pad his win column is best for the team. I guess we are just lucky Joey Votta and Jay Bruce are not pitchers...yet.

-Tom Verducci, who I normally like, lists the 10 old players that are breaking through, and does a generally good job...except for a few. I have a very strict definition of "breaking through" as well. If an old player was a good player previously, then he is not breaking through now, he is merely having a career year in my mind. That's not breaking through.

1) Raul Ibanez

He has played his entire career in the American League with the Royals and the Mariners and now he is in the National League hitting behind Rollins, Howard, and Utley. That's a step up. Sure, he is has never hit like this before but I don't know if he is breaking through since he has had 100 RBI 4 out of the last 7 years and has an OBP always hovering near .355 over the past couple of years. He is having a career year in a new league, that's really all in my mind. I also think his numbers will eventually fall down a bit. He can't hit like this all year, can he?

Yes, he did hit 33 bombs and drive in 123 runs while playing in Seattle's airplane hangar in 2006, so he does have some pop.

Thanks for proving your first player choice wrong for me Tom.

7) Casey Blake,

The eighth spot in NL batting orders is notoriously difficult because of hitting in front of the pitcher, but Blake is having the best season of his life out of that spot. His .376 OBP is a huge improvement on his .330 career mark.

I am going to go ahead and chalk this up to a sample size of 152 at bats. I would look for Blake's end of year numbers to only be slightly ahead of his career numbers. His OBP was .326 for the month of April and the fact he is tearing it up in May really makes Blakes numbers inflated by a good margin. Why can't writers realize we are two months into the season and one good month will give a player inflated stats?

8) Joe Mauer, 26, Twins: Yes, he's a young guy,

I have so many problems with this selection. Mauer is young, he has broken through already and also the fact that because he is hitting more homeruns than usual doesn't mean he is actually breaking through, it means he is absolutely on fire through 84 at bats.

Joe Mauer has absolutely zero business being on this list. Zero. He's not old and he is not breaking through. He has already broken through. He's a great player. Just look at statistics.

This is Mauer with power.

OMFG! That rhymed! Hilarious. It still doesn't take away from the fact that Mauer is absolutely tearing it up right now and hitting for power in the 84 at bats he has accumulated this year, but that doesn't mean he is breaking out. He is on pace to have a career year, but he is widely considered the best catcher in baseball so there is no freaking way he is having a "breakthrough year," and he is not even old. The title of this article is "Breaking through is hard to do for old guys, but these 10 are doing it." Mauer is 26 years old.

-I hate it when writers are right. I don't even want to comment on this article because it was written May 10 and I have been saving it for when the Cavs beat the Magic and make the NBA Finals. I think the evil Gregg Doyel is right. I read the article and he seemed to pretty much have the Cavs team scouted pretty well.

-It irritates me pretty much anytime Woody Paige writes an article like he is a 6 year old.

Hey, Aunty Em, tell your wackadoo niece Dorothy Gale — and her little dog too — that home isn't such a grand and glorious place, after all.

Who reads this shit and thinks that it is top flight journalism? This is how he got on ESPN's "yelling at each other" shows. You actually have to be a complete moron to be allowed on Around the Horn and First Take/Cold Pizza/Whatever They Call It This Week. They accept nothing less than the stupidest journalists in America so they accept him easily as part of their network of nonsense talkers.

Sorry to say this, but this sentence Woody wrote is shit.

Maybe, though, given how the Nuggets played Saturday night (lethargically), they might have considered turning over the local arena tonight to pseudo-sport and playing in, oh, Salt Lake City.

Wherever the Nuggets and the Lakers meet, they are becoming cruder, more brutal and, well, raw. Their first two affairs were the most-watched pro or college basketball games in the history of ESPN. Tonight will be a ratings royale, and even the Cheetos-and-Ding Dongs crowd will TiVo the "wrestling thing."

I tried to read this article and can't even begin to understand it. This irritates me. How am I supposed to make fun of someone when I can't even understand what he is writing? I personally hate wrestling, so maybe it is the fake wrestling WWE/WWF thing he is talking about and I don't know enough to understand it. I was one of five male children in America who never watched wrestling when they were young so it may be above my head. I doubt it, and really think he may just be speaking nonsense.

Psst, George. The series is 2-1 Lakers, so you don't have to win two in Denver and two more in L.A. It's not best-of- nine.

Pay no attention to the coaches behind the curtains. Pay attention to the wizards of ahs — Melo and Kobe.

And, Denver, tap the heels of your ruby slippers together three times and repeat . . .

I can't believe someone read Woody Paige's work at some point in the past and thought, "we have to hire this guy." His writing can be so bad. Of course what do you expect from someone whose entire job on television is to come up with "controversial" points of view and debate them with other idiots who are trying to say something soundbite worthy? To think of him as a journalist may be to give him too much credit.

-It irritates me when Scoop Jackson can't leave race out of one of his columns. This is not a poorly written column and I was able to read it and not hate what it contained. He could have written the entire article without throwing in sentences like this one...

Every time I went to play hockey, and almost always being the only kid of color out there, it took me awhile to figure out why people (including some teammates) were always shooting the puck at me -- especially when I was never the goalie.

I bet at the age of 8 or 9 years of old, these kids had very little control over where the puck went and they were not actually shooting the puck at Lil' Scoop.

He could have easily left this sentence out, it really adds nothing and makes the reader think all of his friends hated Lil' Scoop when he was young.

It just irritates about how he can't write a single article without bringing up race. This article was decent and seemed well thought out, except for the parts where he wanted to make it clear he liked hockey and he was black, which inherently made him different in his own eyes.

-I thought the Hurricanes would lose to the Pens in 5 games, it irritates me that Cam Ward decided he was going to give up prior to Game 3. Last night was the only time in my small hockey history I have seen a goalie lose a puck in the lights.

-I am going to go ahead and apologize to Fred Trigger and Ivn, for this one. It annoys the shit out of me when a baseball player does dances and gets emotional after getting out of an inning (think John Rocker, Chamberlain, or any other closer who acts like he just dismantled an atomic bomb when he completes a save or gets out of the inning) and then when he blows the save gets pissy as the cameras watch him. I am talking about my dream team closer, Papelbon.

If you are going to act like you just saved the world and let the cameras pick up your antics after being a hero, you have to accept that you will look like an ass when you blow a save. Don't act like a bitch. Just look at that picture of Papelbon beside the story in the link. If you do shit like that, you can expect a camera on you after you fail also.

according to Causi, before throwing his towel at him It should be noted: Papelbon missed Causi. "I guess he missed with two pitches that night," Causi cracked.

Though to be fair, the camera man, based on that quote seems like an asshole so at some point in the future he should have something heavier thrown at him.