MMQB Review: Training Camp Tour Edition

I have set up a Yahoo Fantasy Football League and those of you who have already expressed interest can feel free to join. Anyone else who wants to join can feel free to do so as well. I am planning on having a 12 team league and I have set up the league like last year's Yahoo league, but am open to any changes. The ID is 269298 and the password is "eckstein." Last year we were quiet on the message board, but I plan on rectifying that this year.

Last time we caught up with Peter King he was going "Charles Bronson" on a Starwood Preferred Member who dared to jump in front of Peter on the elevator. Peter also informed us he thought Ben Roethlisberger was the fifth best player in the NFL and he appreciated Dez Bryant not carrying Roy Williams pads after practice. What kind of vengeance against public menaces is Peter looking for payback now? Did a person in his neighborhood come to a rolling stop at a stop sign followed by Peter knocking on this person's door punching him/her and then slashing his tires? What sort of vigilante justice does Peter seek this week? More importantly, what does it mean that Deanna Favre renewed her gym membership in Minnesota? How does this affect Brett Favre's "indecision" on whether he is playing for the Vikings this year or not? Does this mean Deanna Favre is planning on playing quarterback for the Vikings this year?

Let's get all the answers from Peter now.

Along the way, three stories intercede: Albert Haynesworth, the business of football threatening to tear the San Diego Chargers asunder and the retirement of Sean Morey.

I can't believe Sean Morey is going to retire either! What a huge story! Wait, who the hell is Sean Morey?

I experience Dezmania in a very personal way. Dallas director of public relations Rich Dalrymple and I are walking behind the end zone in the Alamodome, where the Cowboy receivers are warming up for the afternoon practice. "One of our doctors told me, 'The Dallas Cowboys are a blunt-force instrument,' '' Dalrymple says. As if on cue, I almost get blunt-forced as rookie receiver Dez Bryant turns to the crowd in the end-zone seats and waves his arms, as if to say, I'm here! Love me! And from the stands comes a small football and a Sharpie, followed by an official Cowboys helmet -- which, flung like a Frisbee, misses my head by eight inches and careens on the FieldTurf toward the feet of the receiver group. "Whoa!!!'' I say, ducking, as if that would have done any good after the fact. A security guy fetches the helmet, which Bryant, chagrined, does not sign.

I'd like to congratulate whoever threw the Cowboys helmet. You tried my friend. Better luck next time.

Boy, it sure sounds like Dez Bryant isn't going to be a handful at all for the Cowboys. What is it about wide receivers that they have to be attention whores and want all the attention focused on them? I blame Terrell Owens for this because pretty much everything is his fault anyway.

Bryant was practicing as if he were in an NFL playoff game, trying to win a starting job and to prove the Cowboys made the right decision by picking him in the first round when other teams were taking him off their draft boards.

Teams were taking him off their draft boards because they were afraid he was immature and had some minor character issues. So far, I don't know if what little I have read about him contradicts anything I had heard about him at Oklahoma State. He may end up being a great receiver, but so far I feel like Bryant is as advertised, in the good and bad ways.

Third, it's not like we're talking about a mature-beyond-his-years kid to begin with. It didn't appear as if the hype was going to his head, but who knows if all the pub eventually would have turned him into the kind of diva the guy on the other side of the field, Miles Austin, decidedly is not.

I'm not going to pile on Dez Bryant, but he hasn't caught a pass yet and he is acting like he is the leader of the Cowboys receiving corp, which he isn't. I hope for Tony Romo's sake he doesn't have another Terrell Owens on his hands. Of course Cowboys fans probably hope they have another Terrell Owens in regard to Bryant's performance on the field.

Now Peter does an interview with Pacman Jones...

"Coming here was the best thing I could have done,'' he told me. "It's been all football.'' Except, I learned, for the two times cops trailed his car and made him sweat, including once when they told him to stay out of the car while they ran his plates -- to see if it was stolen. Which it wasn't, and which, to Jones, seemed like a clear case of police harassment.

There have been reports of Cincinnati police harassing Bengals players, so this isn't exactly a shock to hear. That being said, Cincinnati police have also over the last few years had reasons to harass Bengals players since these same players have gotten in trouble a lot over the last couple of years. It doesn't make it right of course.

"Back a few years ago, I might have gone after the cop,'' he said. "Now, I've grown up. I just waited 'til the situation was over, and I went on my way.'' Good for him.

Way to go Pacman, you are such an upstanding citizen for not attacking a police officer. Also, congratulations on not paralyzing anyone recently. You are doing so well!

6. Still don't know how the Bengals are going to have enough balls for everyone on offense. Last year, Cincinnati had 1,011 offensive snaps. Half --505 -- were run plays, and Lewis told me the offense was still going to be centered around the run. Ochocinco, Owens and Bryant, if I had to guess, will get 350 chances, collectively, if they're healthy most of the year. But what of Gresham? Shipley? Andre Caldwell, who caught 51 balls last year? And the forgotten 2008 draftee, Jerome Simpson of Coastal Carolina, who, according to personnel man Jim Lippincott, "is the receiver on our team with the most God-given talent?''

It's pretty easy how the Bengals are going to get those guys more touches. They will just run the ball less and throw the ball more. They say they won't do this, but I think they will have to. I was against the signing of Owens because I feel like the Bengals would have had to change the offense philosophy they wanted to go with to adapt to how many touches each player wanted if Johnson, Owens, and Bryant were on the team. Like most things involving the Bengals, I don't think this is going to end well.

7. Of all the things you don't expect to hear at an NFL training camp, Frank Sinatra crooning on a hip player's portable Bose speaker would be one.

We can immediately tell from Peter writing that Chad Johnson is "hip" that Peter King is not at all "hip." Combining Peter's latest need to fight and his use of the word "hip" I feel like Peter should start wearing a leather jacket and putting cigarettes rolled up in his t-shirt.

"I'm just so excited I can't stand it,'' Ocho said. "Carson's got to be out of his mind excited. Me, TO, Antonio [Bryant], the run game, Gresham, Shipley, our other young receivers ... How are they gonna stop us? The other guy who's got to be going nuts is Cedric [Benson]. They can't jam the box on him now.''

I know this has been pointed out 100 times, but four of the six guys Chad Johnson just mentioned have had major/minor personality and team disruption issues in their past. I know the Bengals feel like they have a lot of talent, but I feel like they have a time-bomb that could go off if mishandled in any way. No pressure on Marvin Lewis of course.

But this team needs the work, because there are so many spots open for competition, with Jake Delhomme, Julius Peppers and Muhsin Muhammad gone, and integral linebacker Thomas Davis out for the year after freakishly tearing his ACL in June. The front seven could consist of guys named Johnson, Johnson, Brown, Leonard, Connor and Anderson.

What's your point? The Saints had a front seven that consisted of guys named Ellis, Smith, Mitchell, and McCray when they played in the Super Bowl last year.

The Panthers rarely have a really down season, but I'm not sure that streak is going to continue (suffice to say I'm wavering on my May pick of Carolina for the playoffs).

Peter made this prediction last week that the Panthers are his surprise team this year. Nothing has changed in the last week that could have changed Peter's perception of the team other than seeing them in training camp. The roster hasn't changed, the projected starters haven't changed, and the last names of the starters haven't changed. He even gave the Panthers a good report in his training camp postcards. This leads me to believe Peter made his prediction without fully looking at the Panthers roster or thinking about if it was a smart pick, which is something I believe he would absolutely do.

Steve Smith, the only household name left in camp, is out until late August with the broken arm suffered in a flag-football game this offseason,

This is ridiculous. Steve Smith isn't the only household name left in camp. I'm pretty sure DeAngelo Williams and Jon Beason are fairly big household names at this point. If they aren't household names then you aren't paying enough attention to the NFL for me to even care about your opinion.

This comment comes from the same guy who can give you a breakdown of the options available at nearly every position for certain teams in the NFL. When it comes to teams other teams he only pays attention when he has to.

The cellphone rings, and it's A.J. Smith, the Chargers' general manager. He said he wasn't going to be talking about the holdouts -- wideout Vincent Jackson, tackle Marcus McNeill, linebacker Shawne Merriman -- after this week, so I wanted to get in under the wire.

The Merriman squabble is not difficult to understand, in my opinion, because the Chargers can't be sure what kind of player he is anymore. (He had four sacks in the past two years, over 15 total games.)

I know Merriman has had some injuries over the last couple of years, but I think we can tell from those statistics what kind of player Shawne Merriman is. He is a guy who struggled to return from a severe injury last year. He is also a guy not worthy of a new contract.

But I find it odd and counterproductive -- as do many Charger fans -- that Smith hasn't negotiated long-term deals with two players I would consider cornerstones, McNeill and Jackson. Not only does he apparently not consider them vital players, but in lowering their one-year contract offers from $3.2 million to around $600,000 in June, he slapped two very good players in the face and made it nearly impossible for them to accept offers they certainly consider insulting.

I don't get why the Chargers lowered the one-year contract offer on these two players. I understand McNeill having his offered lowered even less than I understand Jackson's. The Chargers have a right-handed quarterback and McNeill plays left tackle. Brandyn Dombrowski will be protecting Rivers' blind side if McNeill never accepts the low-ball offer. I don't know much about Dombrowski, but I am assuming he isn't as good as Marcus McNeill. I think the Jackson deal is a little bit less urgent, but I don't understand the lowering of the offer to him by the Chargers.

"We have a priority list of players we want to get signed, and that began 11 months ago with Philip Rivers,'' he said. "Then we got Antonio Gates done. We have a priority list still, which I'm not going to discuss.''

I would think signing your franchise left tackle would be high among the priority list...but what do I know?

Looking at the key players, and the ages of them, on the Falcons, I wonder: Is there a contender with more young, important players?

Considering this question is based on a person's opinion of whether a team is a contender or not and is also based on a person's opinion about which players are the most important on a team...I don't know. Is there a question that could be more opinion-based and vague that could be asked?

Matt Ryan, 25, and middle linebacker Curtis Lofton, 23, are the offensive and defensive signal-callers. Thomas DeCoud and William Moore are the longterm safeties, in all likelihood; both 25. Kroy Biermann and Lawrence Sidbury could be the defensive ends of the future; they're 24. Peria Jerry and Sean Weatherspoon, both front-seven building blocks, are 25 and 22, respectively.

That is a very young team. (Homer alert) I do find it a bit interesting that Peter King was put off by the youth of the Carolina Panthers on offense and defense, but appears to be impressed by the Falcons youth on offense and defense. I expect the Falcons to have a better team than the Panthers this year and I don't think either team are comparable to each other, but I found this interesting. Peter seems to be impressed by the Falcons youth and put-off by the Panthers youth...or put-off enough to regret having them as his surprise team this year.

When Arthur Blank gave Dimitroff the keys to this team before the 2008 draft, he wanted the precocious former Scott Pioli pupil to build the team mostly through the draft, like the Patriots, so it would be good for the long haul.

It is true the Falcons seem to be building their team the right way, which is through the draft.

"Like I just finished playing a tough game,'' he said, speaking softly from a Starbucks in Seattle. "Like I'd just made six or seven tackles.''

At least two independent doctors told him he shouldn't play. And as co-chair of the NFL Players Association's concussion and traumatic brain injury committee, Morey knew he couldn't be a good union leader if he swept such an important injury under the rug.

It is becoming a bigger and bigger issue, but I am not surprised at all that football players are finally coming out more and more with the revelation they suffered a concussion-type injury on the field and are still feeling the after effects of it. I think this should play into the new labor negotiations this summer as well. It has to.

When Morey knew he had to tell Seahawk GM John Schneider and Carroll his decision last week, Carroll took it well. He picked up a football, and the two men went out to the field. They played catch.

After they played catch on the field, Pete Carroll asked Morey if he wanted to see Carroll's new puppy. It is right over there in Carroll's van. If he comes over and looks at the puppy, he will buy Morey some ice cream.

"You know,'' Carroll said to Morey, throwing the ball in a tight spiral, "people ask me the best part of my job. I tell them, 'I get to go out and play catch.' ''

"I also used to help USC cover up NCAA violations but I fled for the NFL before any of that type stuff stuck to me."

On the first pass play of Dolphins training camp Friday, Brandon Marshall had run one of the common routes in the Miami playbook, a slant and go. Some teams call it "sluggo.'' Whatever, the Dolphins called it a touchdown, because Chad Henne threw it long downfield, perfectly, for a score. "I got chills,'' said quarterbacks coach David Lee. "I don't know how it's possible to get chills in 95-degree weather with 90-percent humidity, but I did. What a beautiful thing that was to see.''

If you have the flu. That's an easy way to get chills in 95-degree weather. Go see a doctor, you could be sick. Also, keep Brandon Marshall away from McDonald's sandwich wrappers that are on the floor. He can't seem to avoid those very well. This my advice to David Lee.

I remember going to Denver last summer and interviewing Marshall, who I've known for three or four years. Every answer was forced, clipped. He was ticked at the world then, a combination of being labeled a malingerer and feeling like he was lied to about getting a new contract. In the players' cafeteria Sunday, he grinned like a madman ... even when I asked him what he would have done differently in Denver before finally getting his wish via a pre-draft trade and new contract in Miami last April.

Everything is sunny now in Miami! Did you expect Peter King to report anything less? Brandon Marshall could have also threatened to murder Josh McDaniels, but Peter would just leave that part out. It's all sunshine and roses now. Brandon Marshall is happy to be in Miami, and he will be forever...or until he gets upset about something else and starts to act (not grin) like a madman.

Marshall doesn't want to return to the nightmare that was last year. He's married now -- to a different woman than the one he says caused "90 to 95 percent'' of his problems in the past.

Sure, it is always the woman's fault. That's what Lawrence Phillips always said too.

It doesn't sound like Brandon Marshall is perfectly willing to take responsibility for his actions to me.

"Because I'm a grown-ass man.''

-- Cincinnati cornerback Adam "Pacman'' Jones, responding to my question: "Why should we believe this stop is going to turn out better than previous stops in your NFL career?''

I don't know how I can sound skeptical while typing, but I'm skeptical of nearly everything Pacman Jones says.

Factoid of the Week That May Interest Only Me I

Half of the coaches in the NFC East -- Wade Phillips, Andy Reid -- are teetotalers.

This is not to say Tom Coughlin or Mike Shanahan are heavy drinkers. They're not -- not at all. Coughlin likes a good Bordeaux, Shanahan an occasional Corona. I just find it interesting that in the rough-and-tumble NFC East, the coaches in Philadelphia and Dallas (where quite a few adult beverages are consumed) eschew all alcohol and favor diet cola (Phillips) and water (Reid).

What is really, really interesting about this fact is that Andy Reid and Wade Phillips are fat and Mike Shanahan and Tom Coughlin are not, yet Reid and Phillips don't drink. I would expect the coaches that drink alcohol the most to be the most overweight out of these four. Perhaps steak or spaghetti is Reid and Phillips drink of choice.

OK. I must say I have had a few beers and more than a few meals with general managers over the years, but green tea ... this was a first. Dimitroff, a serious cyclist, outdoorsman (he has a sophisticated spinning bike next to his desk) and conscientious citizen (CNN was on in his office, not ESPN) who prefers Boulder over Brooklyn, is conscious about everything he puts in his body.

Not a spinning bike, but a "sophisticated" spinning bike. Apparently the bike reads Voltaire in its spare time.

It was a calm interview. Placid, even. It seemed funny to be drinking green tea and listening to Dimitroff talking about how his goal is to build a defense that's fast, brutal, smart and attacking. You know, words you don't usually associate with green tea.

Everyone knows that whatever drink a person prefers is also completely relevant to the type of defense in football that person prefers. Most tea drinkers prefer slow, stupid defenses, while diet beverage drinkers like zone blitzes. Peter thought everyone knew this, but Thomas Dimitroff has blown Peter's mind with the attacking defense-green tea combination.

Tweet of the Week

"Hey 2011 NFL Free-Agents--->58 degrees at Seahawks' training camp today.''
--@Hasselbeck, Seattle quarterback Matt Hasselbeck, early Saturday afternoon, doing some early recruiting for next offseason.

Should I be the one to break it to Hasselbeck that he may not be on the team next year? If Charlie Whitehurst works out for the Seahawks this year then Hasselbeck may want to hold off on the recruiting for the Seahawks for 2011.

1. I think, as it is every year, the most overplayed story entering training camp is the first-round-holdout story. As of this morning, 26 of 32 first-rounders are in the fold, with Dan Williams (Arizona) and Jerry Hughes (Indianapolis) on the verge of signing deals, likely today.

I'll say what I've said about these things forever: The only time a contract holdout is truly damaging is when it's a player the team is counting on to play a key role in year one, and when it's at a position where catching up is going to be very hard -- as in quarterback.

Wouldn't a first round player count as a guy that the team is counting on to play a key role in year one? Isn't the transition from college to the NFL hard enough to where catching up at any position isn't exactly easy? So while the first round holdout story is overplayed, I can't help but think first round picks are guys who are counted on to play key roles and that role is often complex. So while Peter gives out a decent rule in this case, I don't know if this advice applies to first round picks or not.

Short holdouts are rarely kill shots to a player's rookie season.

Long holdouts do kill a player's rookie season. Short holdouts can turn into long holdouts. I am not saying the story isn't overplayed, just saying teams can't be laissez faire about this type of thing.

For linemen, the test consists of two 300-yard shuttles (running 25 yards back and forth six times). The first 300-yard shuttle must be run in 70 seconds. Then the player gets a three-and-half-minute break. The second shuttle must be run in 73 seconds. Most teams have conditioning tests something (but not exactly) like this. The bottom line is if Haynesworth were in tip-top shape, he'd pass it. I think if a player has made $35 million in the past 16 months, he ought to be in tip-top shape entering camp.

The bottom line is that the Redskins shouldn't have signed Haynesworth last year for the amount of money they did. I said it at the time and for some reason people were shocked (or at least appeared to be shocked) that a guy who only played well and behaved in contract years would be a problem in Washington after he got paid. I feel bad for Redskins fans because this is a mistake the old regime made (that Daniel Snyder agreed to), but Haynesworth should absolutely be able to pass this drill. Good for the Redskins for making him do this. They have paid him so much money, he could at least give a shit...or pretend to give a shit.

8. I think I'll start worrying about Darrelle Revis missing summer practices around Labor Day. At the same time, Revis missing camp is exactly the kind of thing that happens when you have 36 stars on your team, many of whom think they're underpaid, as stars often do. When the Jets decided to build a team that led the league in Q rating, this was the kind of thing they knew could happen.

Damn. Peter King is on fire today with opinions. He must have a ton of complaints about the coffee along the stops of his training camp tour.

I do have to agree with Peter in his opinion about how the Jets built their team. Not that it may not lead to a Super Bowl, but when Revis becomes such a popular and well-known defensive player, he will eventually want to get paid. It was going to happen at some point and it did.

e. Palms getting a little sweaty, A-Rod?

I think it has been proven a few times over that any time Alex Rodriguez has the spotlight under him and he feels the need to "perform" for everyone, he tends to fail. He should relax like he did last year in the World Series, but I think he presses too much when he wants to hit a home run and should just take it easy and swing naturally. Of course what do I know?

i. That Rick Pitino story gives me the creeps. Triple creeps.

I bet it took longer than 15 seconds for Peter to think about and write this. Yet again, Peter outlasts Rick Pitino.

(Bengoodfella hangs himself for falling into the trap of making Rick Pitino "15 second" jokes)

The New Hampshire Half-Marathon is Oct. 2, a Saturday morning, in Bristol, N.H. Let's try to figure out a good charity to benefit me trying to do something I may have no business doing. Send your ideas to either siwriters@simail.com or on Twitter @SI_PeterKing. I'll probably do something different than the USO this time, just because we've helped them quite a bit to this point.

Let's send the proceeds to Dr. Z and no other people who have suffered a stroke and can't afford the rehabilitation their condition requires to get their lives back to normal. I think that is the best idea. Or perhaps there is another single individual we could help with Peter's run. I'll have to brainstorm this one.