4 comments Jeff Goodman OD's On His Crazy Pills, Finds His Way To the Keyboard

I like Brad Stevens. I think he is one of the greatest coaches in the history of the NCAA, wait no, that is Jeff Goodman that thinks that. I do think he is one of the best coaches over the past couple of years. He should not be inducted in the Hall of Fame right now. Yet, that is exactly what Jeff Goodman is suggesting. Goodman wrote this before Butler played in the national championship last Monday , so he wanted to induct Stevens immediately no matter whether he has won a national title or not. Given the somewhat crazy idea of inducting Stevens into the Hall of Fame now, I can't help but wonder if Goodman changed his mind based on Butler only scoring 41 points. No matter what, it seems the NCAA Tournament has Jeff Goodman taking crazy pills.

Brad Stevens is a stickler for the rulebook.

I have a feeling Brad Stevens is going to be put up on a big, big pedestal very soon. I have a feeling it is starting already.

However, one rule needs to be broken with regards to the Bulldogs' 34-year-old coach.

They need to put him in the Hall of Fame.

Yes, if he continues his great coaching for an extended period of time pursuant to the rules of when a coach is allowed to be placed in the Hall of Fame, that is where he should go. He has coached 124 games in his coaching career so far, but if he keeps this up, I think he will go in the Hall of Fame.

So let's wait a few years, shall we?

Now.

I think we have a misprint because it seems that Jeff Goodman just stated Brad Stevens should be in the Hall of Fame, right now. I mean, that would just be crazy and really stupid to do. I am sure he didn't mean it.

They need to put him in the Hall of Fame.

Now.

Or maybe Jeff Goodman did mean it. Somebody has Stevens Fever! Does this mean Jeff Goodman is going to cut his hair like Brad Stevens and start wearing glasses? I hope so.

Let’s waive the Hall of Fame’s protocol of 25 active years or five years in retirement and just send Opie Taylor, I mean Stevens, to Springfield, Mass., immediately.

Of course, it makes complete sense to put Brad Stevens in the Hall of Fame after he has coached 4 years of college basketball when the standard is currently 25 years. The reason it seems Jeff Goodman thinks this is smart is because Brad Stevens looks SO NORMAL! Looking normal and coaching well over four years should be the ONLY criteria for making the Hall of Fame.

Why waste time?

Other than the fact it is the rules concerning inducting coaches into the Hall of Fame? Because it makes sense to make sure Stevens ends up being one of the greatest coaches of all-time before inducting him as one of the greatest coaches of all-time. It's a pretty logical move. The Hall of Fame isn't going anywhere and there is no specific need to induct him right now, so why rush it? So rather than "why waste time?," I would ask "why hurry it?"

Why don't we induct Tom Izzo in the Hall of Fame right now, if Jeff Goodman is so eager to screw all the rules and just go apeshit inducting coaches into the Hall of Fame? Izzo had a national championship, a Final Four appearance, and a Sweet Sixteen appearance during his first 5 years at Michigan State. If we are going to say "fuck it all" to the Hall of Fame system, why not induct guys who have been coaching longer than 4 years and had early success? How about inducting Bo Ryan, who went 93-37 over his first four years at Wisconsin in a tougher conference than the Horizon League and with a more difficult schedule than Butler's? Or would that make too much sense and go against the Stevens Fever that is developing among college basketball analysts? Does it really make sense to start waiving rules to induct a guy after 4 years and less sense to induct coaches who have been coaching for over 15 years who deserve induction?

Here's a dream scenario for college basketball analysts. Brad Stevens coaches Jimmer Fredetter and Gus Johnson calls the game. There wouldn't be a dry pant in the house if that happened.

Stevens has already earned it among the game’s greats.

Yes, after just four years.

I'm not going to fall for your silly logic over whether Stevens one of the games greatest coaches yet. The bottom line is the rules are set up for a reason. If Calipari and Izzo can't have the 25 year rule waived than Brad Stevens doesn't deserve it either. Hell, Brad Stevens would agree with this because he's so damn classy like that. He would shake his head and smile all sweet-like and say he doesn't deserve it.

Stevens has an 11-3 overall mark in the Big Dance, and his winning percentage tops all active coaches. It’s not all that far behind the Wizard of Westwood, John Wooden.

Sample size alert! Let's give the guy a chance to have a bad year or two. He may be in the Hall of Fame at some point, but why the hell does he have to be inducted now? Because he's a nice guy and answers all of Jeff Goodman's questions?

I’m not ready to say he’s going to be more successful than Duke coach Mike Krzyzewski or even Michigan State’s Tom Izzo, but I'm not sure Coach K or Izzo could have done what Stevens has at Butler.

I hate arguable points like this. They serve no purpose. I don't know if Brad Stevens could do what Tom Izzo and Coach K have done at Michigan State and Duke. It is nice to recruit players who you can coach up and get the best out of, but it is also difficult to coach players who are highly recruited and think their shit don't stink. I know, it sounds crazy, but sometimes having big-time recruits can be a bad thing.

He's won 117 games in his first four years — a number surpassed by no one at the Division I level.

Other than the other coaches who have won more games because they have coached longer. See, the point is they have coached longer and have earned the Hall of Fame induction by sustained success over a long period of time.

However, Stevens has proved he’s one of the master coaches in this game at the tender age of 34.

No one is disagreeing. Everyone wonders why the hell he should be inducted in the Hall of Fame immediately. It makes not of sense! Is Stevens dying or something? Why must this induction occur right now?

And he does it the right way.

Oh Jesus, here we go. He's a saint in a world of cheaters. This is another reason Stevens' Hall of Fame induction ceremony should wait, talk to me in 15 years and see if he still does it "the right way." He probably will, but he isn't the lone saint in a world of sinner coaches.

Goetz got a text from Stevens earlier this year while he was in St. Louis recruiting. He was standing outside the arena at Saint Louis University after a high school tournament concluded and was unable to get a cab.

He texted Goetz to see if it was a violation to hitch a ride from a man and his son, who had come up to him after seeing him standing alone on the street corner.

He is so freaking precious! Don't you just want to shrink him and put him in your pocket for safe-keeping so that no mortal man as wonderful as Brad Stevens ever comes to harm in the big, bad world? He's the Jimmer Fredette of coaches, the Tim Tebow of the Midwest.

"It was about 11:30 and he wasn’t in a great area," said Goetz, who is from St. Louis.

(whispers) "There were minorities all around Mr. Goodman. It was a TOUGH neighborhood Brad was in."

"I didn’t get the text until the next morning and called him back. He didn’t get in the car because he couldn’t get a hold of me."

I wish Butler would sponsor a hugging booth where we all could go and just hug Brad Stevens. He's like an anorexic, glasses-wearing teddy bear.

His seniors couldn’t come up with anything out of character, either, except for maybe when he jumps them in practice on occasion.

So, I ask politely, what the hell does this have to do with him needing to be inducted in the Hall of Fame RIGHT NOW? Unfortunately, being a really nice guy doesn't allow you to skip all the requirements for consideration in the Hall of Fame. So I can't back reasoning for Stevens to be in the Hall of Fame right now, and I really can't back it based on 50% of the reasoning having nothing to do with his coaching prowess.

Even Stevens had a difficult time trying to recall the most trouble he ever got into when he was a kid growing up in Zionsville, Ind.

"I got grounded a couple times when I was late coming home," he added without a hint of sarcasm.

Oh yeah? Well, I NEVER got grounded for coming home late because I always met my curfew! That makes me a saint and I should immediately be inducted in the Blogger Hall of Fame.

Seriously though, who even answers a question like this with a story about he got grounded when he was younger for coming home late? I like Stevens, but this is just trite and overly cutesy for a grown man to say without sarcasm in his voice.

Stevens is a different breed, almost the antithesis of his adversary Monday night: UConn’s 68-year-old coach Jim Calhoun.

Jim Calhoun sucks so that's not a hard coach to be the antithesis of. No, he doesn't suck at coaching, he just sucks.

Stevens is young and has no ego, and you could scour the entire coaching fraternity without hearing a single negative word.

This is impressive, but he has only been coaching for four years. That's barely enough time to make any solid enemies. Give him some time to be hated and see if this is still true before you induct him in the Hall of Fame. Not that whether Stevens is hated or loved should matter on whether he makes the Hall of Fame or not.

But he’s now making his second consecutive appearance in the national championship game.

That’s difficult to comprehend.

It is very impressive, as is winning the national title. I don't think this accomplishment is criteria for induction to the Hall of Fame. It's crazy to really believe it is.

Villanova’s Jay Wright has just one more NCAA tournament victory and he’s been at this for 17 years since he first took the Hofstra job in 1994.

I think it is pretty much well-known that Jay Wright's teams tend to wear down at the end of the year, at least lately. I like how Jeff Goodman cherry picks a coach like Jay Wright that is seen by the general public as successful to compare Brad Stevens to. It really goes to show us how Jay Wright really hasn't been that great of a coach in terms of tournament wins and possibly may be a bit overrated by some people. Basically, I think this says more about Wright than it does Stevens.

Jamie Dixon just completed his eighth season at Pittsburgh, and he and Stevens are deadlocked with 11 NCAA tournament victories.

Ditto. Dixon's teams underperform in the NCAA Tournament and Stevens' teams overperform. Yet again, this is not criteria for Stevens to be inducted in the Hall of Fame.

Amazing enough to put him among the greats.

At some point, if he keeps this pace up.

Yes, even after just four years.

No, not after four years. Put down the crazy pills Jeff. You clearly have lost your damn mind. Brad Stevens is a great coach, but there isn't any more reason to waive the 25 years of coaching requirement for him over other coaches who have coached longer.

This column was a result of Stevens Fever and a columnist beginning a slow descent into madness.

3 comments The Most Controversial Topic Ever: Duke Basketball

It is Fall/Winter and college basketball has started, so you know what that means! Time to start talking about Duke being a National Championship contender and then when it is Winter/Spring everyone can talk about how Duke is overrated and they never perform well come ACC and NCAA Tournament time. You will hear how they are 4-6 over their last 10 games as well and they will be eliminated in the second round of the NCAA Tournament. There are three articles posted in the past 12 hours that talk about how great Duke is going to be this year. They are all fawning over Duke and these accolades are premature.

So, with it being National Championship Contender time of year, let's let Pat Forde go first reassuring us why this year, Duke is different.

WEST LAFAYETTE, Ind. -- The popular game in college basketball right now is guessing who, if anyone, will arise to legitimately challenge the 800-pound, powder-blue gorilla named North Carolina.

The popular answer for anyone who reads this blog at all...no one. Congratulations 2009 National Champions UNC Tar Heels! I am not trying to jinx them, this is really, really going to happen and I have prepared myself for it.

The answer is Duke.

The answer is wrong.

Overlooked, off-radar Duke. Really. For the first time since Jeff Capel was a player, not a coach, the Blue Devils are not swimming in overexposure.

Oh yeah, no overexposure here. The head coach was the head coach for the Olympic Gold Medal team, there have been 240 articles written about Greg Paulus not starting this year, and every single writer has picked them to be in the top 10 teams in the country.

haven't had their ears filled with premature hype.

I have to admit, for Duke, there has been just the right amount of hype. There has been hype, but nothing really over the top.

This week Duke rose to No. 4 in the rankings -- but on the buzz meter, Duke might as well have been Davidson. Except no Blue Devil was getting anywhere near the pub accorded to Stephen Curry.

This is only because the entire sportswriter nation is in love with Stephen Curry. They all go to games and hold up huge cardboards signs asking him to marry them followed by loud screaming in the camera. The reason Stephen Curry is getting publicity is because his team actually made it to the Elite Eight last year, something Duke has failed to do the past two years, which is unacceptable for them.

In the words of Tony Soprano to Richie Aprile, "those who want respect, get respect."

So don't get too cocky, Carolina. Duke is back.

You stay cocky Carolina. You have future NBA players on your bench, Duke has Lance Thomas and David McClure.

Duke is back without a powerhouse player in the middle, but with so many players who can do so many things that it can make up for that deficiency.

This article can now have officially been written every year about Duke for the past 15 years.

Singler was one of the few stars of the tremendous prep Class of 2007 who came back for a second season of college ball, and he'll be Duke's bell cow.

The reason Singler came back is because he weighed 150 pounds at the end of last year and could not have bench pressed a basketball at the end of the year he was so worn down. Due to Lance Thomas and Brian Zoubek being "the little foul machines that could," in constant competition to see who can commit the most fouls in the smallest amount of time, Singler was forced to play center.

What has changed this year? Zoubek and Thomas are one year older, that is pretty much it. I will believe Singler won't wear down again when I see it come March.

Krzyzewski is banking on Paulus to take his reduction to roughly 20 minutes per game and handle it well. Just as he sold NBA superstars on supporting actor roles in the Olympics, he's selling Paulus and fellow upperclassmen David McClure and Lance Thomas on coming off the pine.

I am still in the acceptance stage of Paulus coming off the bench because I don't think a captain who has started three years should come off the bench, but Paulus has shown himself to have the athleticism of a wheelchair athlete, so it has looked like a good move so far.

There is also not a Top 10 team in the country David McClure and Lance Thomas would not be coming off the bench for. They would not even play significant minutes for UNC.

There have been hot starts before in recent years -- plenty of them, as the Blue Devils seemingly played over their heads and then wore down or were exposed come tournament time.

Exactly, let's quit writing articles about how great Duke is going to be until we see something has changed. It grows tiresome.

Jeff Goodman your turn.

This was un-chartered waters for Duke early in the season. A hostile territory.

"This was new for us," Duke junior Jon Scheyer said. "Most of our games are in Durham."

I have to admit, this did provide a solid test for Duke, but they also played a Purdue team that was very similar to them. Strong perimeter game, very little presence on the inside. That had to help a little bit.

The Blue Devils are hardly physically intimidating. They don't possess a sure-fire first-round NBA draft pick.

I am going to just go ahead and say this is very wrong. I googled "NBA 2009 mock draft" and got this, this, this, and this.

But this team is different than its predecessors.

It can hang its hat on defense.

Duke has always hung its hat on defense, this team is no different from its predecessors in that respect. You can't give the same reasons that were used last year and the year before why Duke is going to be better and actually make it to the Sweet Sixteen this year. I think everyone is overreacting to this win a little bit. It was a big win for Duke but not something that will mean anything in March if they stumble yet again.

This edition of the Blue Devils is far more athletic and experienced. Lance Thomas and David McClure are upperclassmen who bring energy and defensive tenacity to the table

McClure also brings the complete inability or want to shoot the ball, basically making it 4-on-5 on offense and Lance Thomas is, and will always be, a fouling machine. Granted a fouling machine who has finally learned to shoot a layup, but a foul machine nonetheless.

while Paulus is a senior who brings leadership and is arguably the team's top perimeter shooter.

Great how perceptions change. Last year Paulus was the underachieving, non athletic point guard for Duke who can't guard anyone. This year, by not starting, he is the college basketball version of David Eckstein.

He and Tyler Hansbrough have scheduled January 13, 2009 for the "Hustle Off" where each competitor will compete in a series of 10 events to show how much they hustle and can lead a team consisting of underprivileged kids. Look for it and you know Dick Vitale will be calling that event, so turn down your television.

"We know we can play with any team in the country," Singler said.

That's confidence, but it's still a little early for that.

Wh...wh...what? You spent the entire column saying how great and prepared Duke was to not repeat the same mistakes the prior two teams have endured and now you backtrack on the last sentence? I am confused.

Gregg "the guy with the picture that makes him look like a sexual predator" Doyel, your turn.

This is a good year to be just about anybody in college basketball, because just about anybody could win the national championship.

No, no, no. What indication has UNC given, playing without Tyler Hansbrough at times, that they are not the best team in the country? Was it beating UNC-A by 60 points or obliterating Notre Dame at a neutral site?

But that's one team. That's Tiger Woods. You can take Tiger Woods and give me the rest of the field for the 2009 NCAA title, and I'll like my chances. And if you give me the field -- you're giving me the field.

I will take UNC because they are the best team in the country. And if I choose UNC--I am choosing the best team.

I reserve the right to change my mind if UNC starts stumbling but this is not going to happen. They are pissed off about last year and more talented than even the 2005 National Championship team.

Duke's Kyle Singler will sit on somebody's bench because he has an NBA skill set if borderline NBA size and athleticism. Duke's Gerald Henderson might also sit on somebody's bench, because he has NBA athleticism though not even an NBDL skill set. For Purdue, Robbie Hummel could get an NBA contract some day, but I'm guessing it will be of the 10-day variety.

Why does Doyel put shit like this in his columns? Just to get a reaction I guess. Maybe this is true but Gregg seems to randomly throw things like this comment in a column so he can be the "shoot from the hip, I tell you things you don't want to know" type columnist. He just comes off as an asshole.

Duke doesn't have a point guard

Apparently Gregg Doyel is the only one who missed the "Nolan Smith vs. Greg Paulus" debate all summer. They don't have an All American point guard but they have two above average point guards.

Without a lot of NBA pretty boys, Duke is a junkyard dog of a team, and it gnawed on Purdue for 40 minutes. That's why Duke could go a long way, maybe even all the way.

Based on what? They are tough now? Toughness does not translate to success necessarily.

Because it plays hard -- and because it won't have to play anybody great, not in the NCAA tournament anyway,

Gregg Doyel is a moron. Duke will have to play someone great in the NCAA Tournament, unless he is suggesting Duke and Carolina are easily the top 2 teams in the country. Which is wrong. Even if he thinks there are no great teams in the country, other than UNC, the rest of the teams have similar skill levels to Duke, thereby giving Duke a challenge. If UNC is the only great team there should be a lot of competition in the NCAA Tournament.

not unless it finally runs into the Tar Heels in the Final Four collision to end all collisions.

Gregg Doyel is still a moron. Duke won't have to wait until the Final Four for the "collision to end all collisions" they play twice in the regular season and possibly even a third time in the ACC Tournament. How Gregg can miss this, I have no idea. This is horrible.

The gap between North Carolina and the rest of the country is so large, even a known UNC nemesis like Krzyzewski admits as much.

"North Carolina is on a little bit different level," he said

I am glad we can all agree on this. What else do you expect Coach K to say though? "They suck and I think they are overrated?"

Because there are no teams in the void that comes after the Tar Heels. After UNC, it could be Duke. It could be Purdue. It could be your team -- whoever that team is.

It won't be Duke, unless something has changed this year from last year, and I won't believe that change has happened until I see it in the NCAA Tournament or Duke goes above .500 during the last three weeks of the year.

It is time to quit writing positive articles about Duke being a National Championship contender until they prove something in March.

0 comments Holy Crap, It's All Over and They're Done!

Jeff Goodman, who looks like Corky from "Life Goes On" in his blog picture, is deeply concerned about the North Carolina Tar Heels ability to win the National Championship. He is in full panic mode.

NO!!!

What could have changed his mind when the Tar Heels are #1 in the country in all the preseason polls and are considered the top men's college basketball team in the country and are having wonderful things written about them? Things like this, this, and this.

First the top-ranked North Carolina Tar Heels lost Marcus Ginyard, their top defensive player, to a stress fracture on his left foot. Now they have lost the nation’s top player in Tyler Hansbrough.

First they lose a Ginyard and now they are losing Hansbrough? God, I hope Roy Williams has enough McDonald's All Americans to replace them:

(Roy Williams looks at roster and sees three McDonald's All Americans on the bench, two of which are over the height of 6'8 and the other is a point guard...immediately stops worrying)

Gosh, I feel miserable for UNC. This is probably the end of the program, losing Hansbrough for the entire year.

The folks at North Carolina aren’t saying how long Hansbrough will miss, but it could be a month or so – which could be a significant early hit for everyone’s No. 1 team.

A month. That is it. Tyler Hansbrough is going to be out for a month of the season worst case scenario at the beginning of the year, which is not when the National Championship is decided by the way, and Jeff Goodman has his panties in a wad over this.

This is a set back for the Tar Heels in trying to not lose a game this year, but that is about it, it's not like Tom Brady getting injured for the entire year. It's like Tom Brady getting injured for a month and having David Garrard as his back up.

Without Hansbrough and Ginyard, it’s highly unlikely the Tar Heels run the table in Maui and also knock off Michigan State in Detroit.

That would stink because the team that wins the Maui Invitational is the only team allowed to participate in the rest of the regular season. All the other teams are forced to "finish" their degrees and wait for next year. It's the end of everything! Life has no meaning now. (Slits wrists with Tyler Hansbrough replica first semester sophomore year official transcript)

If anyone has ever read this blog you know I am not a huge Tyler Hansbrough fan for a variety of reasons. He has been tagged on this site more than probably any other player. Let's be honest though, him missing one month at a maximum is going to allow the younger freshman to get more playing time and that is not a bad thing. About February/March you are going to be reading columns by Corky Goodman about how this has actually helped the Tar Heels this season. It's like Goodman is writing columns now just to set up later columns. Kind of a like a bipolar point/counterpoint.

They may even have trouble with Patrick Patterson and Kentucky on Nov. 18 in Chapel Hill.

Other than Patrick Patterson, who the hell does Kentucky have? I would say UNC has 4 more players on their team better than the next best player on Kentucky. So what if they have trouble with Kentucky? It is one loss. So what if they don't win the Maui Invitational? It is just a preseason tournament.

It's not like UNC is going to have sit beside their television on Selection Sunday hoping their 27-5 record and the fact they won the ACC Tournament is going to be good enough to get them in.

Sure, the Tar Heels are deep – but not deep enough to lose two starters without missing a beat.

Yes, they may "miss a beat" or two, but Hansbrough will be back before December and Marcus Ginyard is coming back in late December. Ginyard is a great defender but is quite replaceable on the offensive end. Quit being a drama queen over this. Sure it is a setback, but it's not like UNC does not have two other players who were highly recruited to take his place. This is their chance to shine and they probably will.

Don’t try and tell me Deon Thompson’s going to be able to stop Luke Harangody if the Tar Heels go up against Notre Dame in the championship game of the Maui Invitational.

Shit, UNC will be lucky if they can figure out how to board the plane without Hansbrough. He is their leader, their heart and soul, the man they go to in the clutch, the guy who hits everyone in the ass with a towel in the locker room (without blinking), and just a great human being. Roy Williams and UNC is nothing without Tyler Hansbrough. Nothing!

If UNC loses to Notre Dame, then that is it. Season over. They will never ever have a chance to redeem themselves. Someone needs to put Corky Goodman on suicide watch.

Freshman Ed Davis is already hurt and isn’t physically ready, anyway. Fellow frosh Tyler Zeller doesn't stand a chance against 'Gody.

Ed Davis hasn't even hit puberty yet. His legs are not even fully grown either. He is actually 5 foot 2 inches, not the 6 foot 8 inches everyone reports. He can't ever guard anyone. It's not like he was the #10 ranked recruit for the 2008 recruiting class.

Tyler Zeller won't be able to guard either. All 7' foot 0 inches of him, could never guard him alone. Did you see him in the McDonald's All American game? Well, if you did his six points were just luck.

I wonder if Jeff Goodman is aware that UNC will not only be playing Patrick Patterson and 'Gody, but the rest of the Notre Dame and Kentucky basketball team, which for the record, is not as good as the rest of the UNC basketball team.

You’ve got to feel badly for Psycho T, though, since he decided to return for his senior campaign because, well, he loves college basketball.

He plays with such passion because he loves the game. All the other college basketball players actually hate the game and are forced to play by their mommies and daddies. While these other people are crying in their bed at night at having to play basketball everyday, Tyler Hansbrough is eating basketballs in one bite, humping cheerleaders at center court, and eating dinner every night at the scorer's table because he loves this game so fucking much.

The positive - if there is a positive in all of this - is that the doctors seem to have caught the injury before it got too serious. This is a precursor to a stress fracture, which is what will sideline Ginyard for about two months.

If there is a positive in all this? Maybe the positive is that the other wonderful basketball players who usually have to sit on the bench are going to be able to play now making the team stronger come NCAA Tournament time, which is the only time that really counts in the basketball season. If Carolina makes it, and that is not a huge if, that is all that matters because Tyler Hansbrough will be back on the court in plenty of time to participate.

They had better, because realistically, the Tar Heels aren't hanging a banner without their Psycho T.

They won't have to do anything in the NCAA Tournament without Tyler Hansbrough, he will be back in plenty of time to participate in the tournament, they will lose a maximum of three games with him gone, and they are still the favorites to win the National Championship. Go breathe into a paper bag for a few minutes. It will all be fine.

0 comments Is Immaturity A Character Issue?

I have been a little distracted lately, so my posts have not been as shitty as usual. I also learned Saturday night why I should not be allowed to speak with anyone who has had any type of fame. I left the attic for a few hours and went to go see a couple bands in a nearby town and after the concert spoke with the the lead singer for a bit, then offended him. Not an exciting story but I will share it regardless.

(Me) "Good show tonight. I read about you guys in some article online about the Ten Best Bands Nobody Has Heard Of."

(Lead singer not sure what to say at the back handed compliment) "Thanks, it seems like everyone has read that same article."

(Me) "I bought the CD and it is really, really good, when are you coming out with the next album."

(Singer tells me the answer and then my lady of long term committment speaks with him, all the while I am stewing over the real name of the article)

(Me) "Actually, I think the name of the article was the Ten Best Unknown Bands."

(Singer wishing I would just drop it goes into his various marketing promotions they are doing to change this and finally we leave)

(Me as I am walking back to the car) "Oh yeah, it was the 10 Best Unsigned Bands. That sounds a lot better than what I was saying."

So I am a moron and the band name is Locksley, and they are all really cool guys who put on a great show. You can look them up and hate them if you want, but they are really good and deserve to be more popular than 95% of the music in the world.

Ok, to the article that irritated me by Jeff Goodman.

http://msn.foxsports.com/cbk/story/8238982

The title of the article is.........."Beasley: How Mature Do You Want Me To Be?"

Since he is supposed to be a millionaire in 2 days and the title already make excuses, I knew this article was shit. See the problem is not that he has character issues, which is no big deal but everyone is writing puff pieces about him that act as if he does not have issues that would make NBA teams wonder if he is mature enough to be an NBA player. So to be clear, I do not think he is a bad person, but in a billionaire dollar industry the following antics, even if done in High School which was only 2 years ago, could be a cause of concern. If Jeff Goodman can't see that, then that is not good, man.

First Beasley antics from this article. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/03/11/AR2007031101466.html

-Since he entered the eighth grade, Beasley's career has followed the same cyclical pattern: He's dismissed from one school for misbehavior and immaturity;

Bouncing from team to team does count as a character issue that should be addressed.

-Beasley practices for two hours in the afternoon, takes a nap and then practices again at night. "The basketball team is pretty much the only thing this school's got," Beasley said.

Clearly a man ready to contribute to the community or maybe the school really sucks and it boring. At least pretend you have some interest in academics though. Character issue.

-He wore pajamas to the school cafeteria. He threw sticks at teachers' houses. He snuck out of his dorm after curfew and organized games of hide-and-go seek.

Why would you wear pajamas to the cafeteria. Too lazy to put on clothes or just that sleepy? Either you have a medical condition or drink some red bull. Throwing sticks at teacher's houses is a clear character issue, as is not following the rules.

-"Me and Tywon Lawson had a competition at the beginning of the school year about who could sign their autograph the most around the school," And I don't lose at anything, man, so I walked around with one of those Sharpies and signed graffiti everywhere. Every day, they were cleaning my name off water fountains, ceilings, desks, offices -- whatever. I just thought it was funny."

Here is another character issue. In this paragraph the only positive thing that could come out of it is that he is a competitive person. It is funny to do this once, not every single day as he indicates. So what he thinks is funny is actually destructive to school property, not to mention disrespectful to those who have to clean his shit up. I would like to personally punch him for this.
-So, with two weeks left in the school year, Smith offered his star player one final chance: He told Beasley that, to be invited back to Oak Hill, he needed to impress administrators with flawless end-of-year behavior. Two days later, Beasley signed his name in black ink on the principal's truck, Smith said.

If anyone does not see this as a problem, then they are fucking retarded. I don't mean to insult mentally handicapped people by comparing them to anyone who thinks this is not a problem. No one is perfect but Beasley obviously has/had some sort of complex where he believes he can get away with shit like this. He could not be on good behavior for two days. This does not translate well to the NBA where nobody is there to babysit.

- In less than 24 hours, the team played one of its most important games of the season. Barton stood still, with a basketball under his right arm, and talked quietly. "Pay attention, 'cause this is important," Barton said. His players leaned in to listen. Then Beasley started shouting.

This is not supposed to bother Vinny Del Negro or any team that is looking to draft him? Some people in this world "get it" and have not been treated like royalty their entire life, Michael Beasley does not seem to be one of these people.

He is a pretty typical high school student in my opinion and there is nothing wrong with that. The problem is he is still 19 and is going to the NBA. So knowing all you know from this Washington Post article, why is Jeff Goodman shocked at questions of maturity?

Beasley is a class clown. Beasley is immature. Beasley likes to pull pranks as much as the next guy. But what do you expect? "How mature do you want me to be? I'm 19 years old," Beasley said.

What a nice short article, so everything is resolved now. People are afraid he is immature because he is 19, he acknowledges this, so I think both sides understand the problems that need to be overcome before the questions stop. Now let's work on this global warming issue.

Michael Beasley deserves an explanation.

He just provided one. Here's the problem. You can't say "I'm only 19, so I am going to be immature," then complain when people constantly bring up you're being immature. This fucking pisses me off. Humans have control over their behavior, we aren't like lions who see a human in a field and don't have the capacity to think, "I probably should not eat that because I will be killed as a reprecussion." Michael Beasley, as far as I know, has the ability to reason and control his actions.

That's the fucking catch to being in the NBA. You have to act mature because you are getting a paycheck. If you have a history of not listening to your coach and undermining him, acting non-chalant about your school, vandalizing school property, and just being an overall asshole, then that is going to follow you around. How is this not understood?

All he wants to know are these so-called "character issues" that seem to follow his every move.

The character issues are that Jerry Reinsdorf nor Pat Riley want to wake up one early morning and find that some punk ass kid has drawn on his new Lexus. Is this hard to understand? Beasley has a history of vandalizing authority figure's property and this history includes every authority figure at a school. Teachers, coaches and principals. The school nurse is the only one that got off easy on this one.

"Compared to stuff other players do, that's nothing." He's right. The NBA is full of guys with real-life character issues. Just look at Allen Iverson, Stephen Jackson, Ron Artest, Zach Randolph, Darius Miles. I could go on and on.

He is right and Jeff Goodman is wrong. Those players are WHY Beasley is being critiqued so carefully, how is this not understood?

Beasley doesn't fit that mold. He hasn't assaulted anyone, hasn't fired a gun in the air or made obscene gestures to fans. In fact, his record is completely clean.

He has on the other hand vandalized property and been kicked out of 4 schools for immaturity. What do you think a top 5 high school basketball player has to do to be kicked out of a school? I would guess a whole lot. So his "record" is completely clean but he has a record of immaturity. You can't be arrested for immaturity unless it leads to a criminal act...like vandalizing school and personal property. So he could have a "record" if someone had pressed charges.

I should have done one sentence pithy responses but this puff piece has me too pumped up.

He's only racked up a handful of technical fouls in his entire life.

No one is arguing on the court problems. This would be Jeff Goodman, esq. defense attorney for a murderer/rapist at a trial. Using an argument involving something completely off point that has nothing to do with what he is discussing.

(Jeff Goodman, esq.) "Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, Sparky Spanklepants may have raped and killed five women and two men. So he has a sexual problem. He has admitted this and wonders why you keep holding this against him. If the victims were alive, they would have positive things to say about him, because he cooks an absolutely wonderful chicken cassarole. Besides, there are tons of other murderers and rapists not currently in jail. If we can't catch every single one of those people, how can we jail Sparky Spanklepants? You honor the defense rests it's case and would like to invite you out to lunch."

"He never once answered back, never once even made a face," said DePaul coach Jerry Wainwright, who coached Beasley in the Under-19 World Championships in Serbia last year. "I was with him for 9½ weeks and he never lied to me. Not once."

If I can't trust a man who has this site dedicated to him... http://firejerrywainwright.com/

who can I trust?

My question to Wainwright is how he knows Beasley never lied to him. Did he hook him to a lie detector, try to tickle the truth out of Beasley, or did he do the Larry David stare down? Either way, if Beasley never made faces at someone, that is the true sign of maturity. Point Goodman!

"Of course it bothers me," Martin said. "If Mike had issues in the past, I'd understand. I've dealt with character issues. Mike doesn't beat women, do drugs and he hasn't been arrested for anything. He's the best teammate I've ever been around."

Lowering standards for athletes does not make them better people. Also Frank Martin could be biased since if it were not for Michael Beasley I would think Frank Martin was a character from a movie about Chicago gangsters or a shoe shine clerk at the Holiday Inn, and not the coach of Kansas State University. Also, he referred to him as the best teammate he has ever been around but Martin is the coach, so he should mean the best player. Interesting...

Beasley admits that he didn't exactly fit in when he went down to IMG Academy, which is primarily comprised of rich, white kids.

He will do well when he is being cheered on in the NBA at every game by rich, white kids and their parents.

Also, in my continuing attempt to get "covert racism" as a tag, I would like to say the sentence, "Kevin Love admits he didn't exactly fit in at the Compton Academy, which is primarily comprised of poor, black kids," would get Kevin Love in a lot of trouble and cause Around the Horn to label him a racist. Just saying.

Wainwright said that in Serbia, which was profoundly anti-American, Beasley went out of his way to interact with children, women and anyone else.

Fuck the NBA, Michael Beasley should be named U.S. Ambassador to Serbia. He can teach the kids there how to vandalize property and just enjoy life. Part of his interactions will be a lecture on how if you have unbelievably good talent for a sport then people will make excuses for you and you get away with more in life. This lecture will reach one child, Slavon Slabadorviak, a 8 year old child who is a master at shuffleboard and will one day go on to make shuffleboard an Olympic sport and land on the cover of the Serbian version of Time Magazine (Tjime). All because of Michael Beasley. What maturity issues, bitches? Point Goodman!

"We went back to the locker room and he gave one of the best talks I've ever heard," Wainwright said. "He said things I would have said and I've been coaching for 30 years."

Did he follow up the speech with a spitball to your eye, coach, followed by the rest of the team bursting in laughter? Also, if Michael Beasley is giving great postgame speeches compared to you, you may want to read a motivational book or two.

So did Duke guard Nolan Smith, and no one has questioned their character.
"I keep asking what are these character issues," Smith said. "Maybe if someone can tell me what they are, I can explain them. Michael has never done anything malicious. Is he immature? Yes, but everyone has some immaturity about them. Maybe Michael's a little more so than others."

So Michael is less mature than others his age and this is not supposed to be a cause of concern for NBA front office types? I think Jeff Goodman and Michael Beasley have the answer they need now.

All he wants is an answer.

Riddle me this Goodman. How don't you get this? I will even let Michael Beasley get the last word with a little help from the Miami Herald. http://www.miamiherald.com/sports/story/573950.html

• On whether he can succeed in the NBA like he did in college: "Depends if I like the coach.''

There's your answer. Mark my words, Michael Beasley will have maturity problems in the NBA.