4 comments MMQB Review: Chris Simms Ain't No Bitch Boy Edition

Peter astounded "us" last week with the news the Patriots weren't simply going to lose the rest of the games during this NFL season and try to get a new franchise quarterback in the 2015 draft. "We" were wrong about the Patriots struggling the rest of the season because they started off the season struggling. Peter also revealed THE MMQB will be covering one of the Thanksgiving games this year, which should be a lot of fun apparently, though I assumed THE MMQB would be covering these games anyway. I guess it's more fun to saturate coverage of one specific game. This week Peter says that "we" shouldn't count out the Cardinals, the rise of the Lions (I'm going to admit I was wrong about Caldwell at some point...I will probably give it two years, so don't worry, I'm on it but I'm also aware that Caldwell has had success with someone else's players before), and still has nothing to say about Matt Schaub sitting the Raiders' bench while collecting a paycheck of $8 million, though he killed Josh Freeman for doing that same thing last year (in terms of the most bizarre things Peter has ever done, eviscerating Freeman on a weekly basis when he earned $2 million over one season as the Vikings' third QB has to be among them). Also, it's good of Peter to help Greg Schiano "prepare for his next job." Nothing like using his website to do a little PR for his buddies. How shameless.

I want to warn everyone this MMQB contains the sentence, "We can win the Super Bowl with Drew Stanton," so the bar for crazy and delusional has been set high. And what do you know? Carson Palmer gets paid and then gets injured. That never happens.

An early Happy Veterans Day to all in uniform, past and present. Thanks to all in the military who make it possible for us to enjoy the lives we lead and feel safe while doing it.

If these veterans knew they were making it safe for Peter to complain about things like bad coffee and people who are taking pictures outside of the Apple store then they would probably quit doing those things to make it safer.

Every NFL season has its eccentricities.

BREAKING NEWS!

Ten Uniquely 2014 Things About Week 10

1. Cleveland is in sole possession of first place in the AFC North. Last time that was the case after 10 weeks: In 1994, when Bill Belichick coached and Vinny Testaverde quarterbacked.

What was Greg Schiano doing at that point? I know you want to tell us, Peter.

2. Brian Hoyer’s agent, Joe Linta, told me Sunday he hasn’t had any discussions about a new contract for the 2015 free-agent-to-be since May. Six months. Hoyer is the most desirable veteran quarterback among a weak crop.

He's the best of the worst! Quick, overpay for him! There are few great quarterbacks available and the Browns MUST overpay to keep Hoyer around.

There is time for Hoyer to fall to earth, of course, but I’ll be amazed if the Browns, seeking a long-term answer at quarterback since forever, let him walk.

Okay, I don't know if I would be amazed since Hoyer doesn't have a long track record of this type of great performance and the Browns have Johnny Manziel sitting on the bench. It would be surprising, but "amazed"? Small things amaze Peter.

4. If the season ended this morning, Green Bay (6-3) wouldn’t be in the playoffs. True fact. Detroit (7-2) has them beat for the division, and Dallas (7-3) and Seattle (6-3 with the head-to-head tiebreaker over Green Bay) would be wild cards.

Wait, Seattle would make the playoffs if the season ended today? I thought their eulogy was written a few weeks ago?

I knew this would happen. Peter didn't bury the Seahawks but he did write previously about how they were in trouble, blah, blah, blah, as if their opening schedule wasn't difficult or anything.

10. As if anyone needed another lesson, gambling on football is fool’s gold; the Steelers looked like the ’07 Patriots the last two weeks and came to the Meadowlands to play a team on an eight-game losing streak—and Pittsburgh got drilled. We wake this morning to learn the 2014 Patriots, nearly flawless the past five games, are field-goal ‘dogs at Indianapolis Sunday night. Keep your money in your pocket. I repeat, keep your money in your pocket.

I'm not even sure I know what this means in terms of gambling advice Peter is giving.

It seems particularly cruel this morning to write about the team with the best record in football in a life-goes-on sort of way. Carson Palmer was the quarterback coach Bruce Arians and GM Steve Keim chose to be their franchise leader when they got their jobs in January 2013. Palmer finally felt like he was in football nirvana. He quit football at 31 rather than continue playing for a franchise he didn’t trust to put a winner on the field, Cincinnati.

Which, for the record, is something the media would have KILLED other players for doing. Palmer is a quarterback, white (not that important, but I believe it plays a part), friendly with the media and just overall is a nice guy. He got a break in terms of the criticism he received for essentially refusing to play. No big deal, but it would be funny if another player tried to pull this trick. Let's see how Andre Johnson would have gotten treated if he sat out refusing to play. Now the irony is that the Bengals have put a winner on the field without Palmer and the biggest question mark is starting to look like the starting quarterback's performance. 

He was traded to the Raiders, another pit of despair, and played two years there.

And of course because he wanted to go to a team committed to winning, he ended up with the Raiders.

As the play progressed, Palmer’s left knee caved in as he tried to avoid the rush on a sack, and he lay on the field, writhing in agony. Nothing is official, and Arians told me Sunday night he wasn’t sure of anything, but all signs point to a torn ACL in Palmer’s left knee, the second time he has suffered that injury, to that knee, in his career.

“We just did the contract, and everybody was on cloud nine,” Arians said from Arizona. “Now this.”

It always happens like that, doesn't it? Though I do have to wonder why the Cardinals signed Palmer to that contract if Bruce Arians feels he can win a Super Bowl with Drew Stanton. Kind of a fishy claim if you ask me. Why re-sign Palmer to that type of money if he really thinks he can win a Super Bowl with Drew Stanton? When Peter was speaking to Arians and Arians made this statement, naturally Peter being the crack reporter he is reports this statement as fact, rather than ask the obvious question. Peter is less reporter, more transcriber/lackey. The obvious question here would be why the Cardinals handed Palmer a contract extension if Arians thought he could win a Super Bowl with Drew Stanton? The answer? Arians is just saying this to be confident in his guy, yet Peter reports on it like this is realistically something Arians believes, which I can't imagine it would be. 

This was the second bit of major drama in Stanton’s day. He and his wife, Kristin, are expecting a child. She was due last Wednesday. He got a text from her Sunday morning, when he’d arrived at the stadium for the game. “The text basically said, Just so you know, you might want to get home pretty quick after the game. She felt like the contractions were coming,” Stanton said.

This was an hour or so after the game, and Stanton had ducked into a Whole Foods on his way home, shopping for dinner. And champagne, in case the baby came.

That's terrible. Drew Stanton is going to give champagne to a newborn baby? What about a stuffed animal or a pacifier instead?

So even though Stanton was shaken to the core by the injury to Palmer, he listened to Arians before he went out for his first play, first-and-10 at the Arizona 11. We’re gonna stay with what we planned. Just try to put some points on the board. Nothing different from what Arians would have said to anyone subbing for an injured player.

So the Cardinals' offense was going to continue to try and score points? I don't know, that's a risky move.

“It’s not gonna stop,” Arians said. “It’s football. There’s gonna be another one, I just don’t know who and when. That’s what we believe. We don’t let up, and we don’t make excuses.”

One more thing.

Here it comes.

“We can win the Super Bowl with Drew Stanton,” Arians said. “There is no doubt in my mind.”

I realize this is coach-speak. I do. Peter reports this as fact and doesn't at least point out that Bruce Arians and Steve Keim were so sure they could win a Super Bowl with Drew Stanton that they gave Carson Palmer a three year extension two days earlier rather than hand the team over to Drew Stanton, who obviously would cost less than Palmer, when Palmer's contract ran out. My point is there is an easy follow-up question, but Peter doesn't care to ask a follow-up question because he thinks coach-speak is just a great way to get a quote. Again, he's not a reporter, he just transcribes what coaches say and then marvels at their brilliance.

There will be a few people in the Cardinals’ offices today pulling for Kristin Stanton to have that baby early in the week. Her husband’s got another big job this week. The football calendar is unforgiving that way.

Drew Stanton will be the first husband to ever have his baby's birth get in the way of something he has to do at work. I don't know how he does it.

The Lions don’t make the dumb mistakes anymore.

This just isn't entirely true. This is a very definitive statement. Remember last year when Peter wrote that Matthew Stafford had matured after sneaking the ball over the goal line against the Cowboys? He was a different QB after that! Except he wasn't, but the Lions are TOTALLY different now. For sure. 

For the third straight game, the Lions won a game they’d trailed late in the fourth quarter. And that, players and staff say, is a direct result of some of the mind games new coach Jim Caldwell is playing.

And these mind games are wonderful because the Lions are winning. That's all that matters. The rest is a bullshit narrative written around the fact the Lions are winning. The mind games will suck if the Lions start off 1-5 next season.

Caldwell might be one of those rarities in the NFL—a coach who is better-suited to be a head coach than a coordinator. 

No, I still don't think he is.

Detroit led in the fourth quarter of its last seven games last season—and won one. This year, the Lions are turning it over less (last nine games last year: 26 turnovers; first nine games this year: 12 turnovers) and winning more.

See the narrative being written around the Lions? The Lions played well enough to win games last year, but couldn't close them out. This year, the Lions are winning the close games and turning the ball over less. Sure, one might think this has to do with some luck, good execution and not turning the ball over. But no, it's totally Jim Caldwell and his mind games.

Caldwell said from his office the other day. “In this league, we see it every year: Teams lose games in the NFL more than they win them. We brought in players and coaches from winning backgrounds—James Ihedigbo and Glover Quin [from Houston], Golden Tate from Seattle, [coordinators] Joe Lombardi from the Saints and Teryl Austin from the Ravens.”

This is a good strategy. Still, a team winning games they lead in the fourth quarter can be chalked up to other things outside of just bringing players from winning backgrounds. It's not narrative-driven enough to just say the Lions are winning the close games this year that they couldn't win last year and part of the reason is they aren't turning the ball over as much.

Caldwell introduced a twice-weekly part of team meetings: The High Cost of Low Living. Each meeting, he’d have an example, culled from the internet or newspaper by longtime senior VP of communications Bill Keenist or someone else on staff, of an athlete or famous person being arrested or doing something stupid publicly. “Common-sense lessons,” said Caldwell. “Like, ‘Don’t be out after 1 a.m.’

The Lions are winning the close games and not turning the ball over because they see examples of players who get in trouble or arrested. If you want to believe, that sounds great. To me, I don't see how these mind games are winning games for the Lions.

“I just think discipline is important,” he said. “It shows up in games.”

Jim Caldwell and I agree. I also think that discipline isn't the only reason the Lions are winning the same close games this year that they lost last year.

Caldwell also took all positions groups out to dinner, one a week, during the offseason. He’d let the players pick the restaurants, then spend two to three hours getting to know them. “Their favorite movies, their favorite book, their families. I’d ask them, ‘Who’s the best point guard in the NBA?’ We’d get some great discussions going. Just to get to know the players as men, as people, is so important. I read a lot, and I always have believed something General Patton says is important: ‘Take care of your men.’ ”

And if/when the Lions start losing then these dinners will become tedious and an example of how Caldwell is a great guy who does a better job of taking care of his men then he does of winning football games. It's how the reverse-narrative sausage works. Winning rules all. Everything is great when a team is winning.

Those are traits these Lions are playing with now. We’ll see if they last for the long haul. Last season, Detroit was 6-2 after eight games and it didn’t last. The proof with Caldwell will be known in a couple of months.

No, like every other head coach, the proof with Caldwell will be known in a couple of years. Plenty of head coaches have succeeded in their first year with a team. Sustaining that success is what separates the good coaches from the average coaches.

Peter King does love his coach-speak and feel-good, team-first stories though doesn't he? He eats them up.

Five quick questions, five quick answers…

With Chris Simms, the former quarterback and NFL quality-control coach, now analyzing the NFL for Bleacher Report and CBS Sports. I reached out because I’ve liked his direct, blunt analysis this season. He said, for instance, that the Eagles may be better off with Mark Sanchez than Nick Foles; and when the Jets’ quarterbacks were struggling mightily, he said he didn’t think his brother, Matt, the third-stringer with the team, should be playing over Michael Vick.

Chris Simms shoots straight from the hip. Peter loves guys like that. Of course he also likes guys who mix hyperbole and coach-speak together to essentially say nothing and he likes coaches who essentially lie to his face, and also likes what most people tell him, unless it's about Josh Freeman who can burn in Hell.

The MMQB: Why the media gig?

Whoa Peter, you only have five questions. Don't go so hard on the first question.

"What's it like to be a Simms?"

"If the world were a violet or a daisy, which would you prefer?"

"You have blonde hair, right? How neat is that?"

Simms: I wanted to get into coaching or get on the track to be a GM. But for the last three years, I was basically a bitch boy, 

Only over the last three years? Major Applewhite would argue differently. But to be clear, Chris Simms wasn't no bitch boy then and never will be now.

Like my dad [Phil] told me, “If you’re going to do this, you can’t fake it.” So I put in the work. I watch the tape. I talk to people I know in the league. I really work at it.

Interesting that "You can't fake it" came from Phil Simms since it's fairly well-known that Simms required a lot of work to get his broadcasting skills to where they are today, work done even after he had hit the air doing analysis for games...including changing his hair style around.

The MMQB: How did you like working for Bill Belichick?

Simms: Loved it. He’s the smartest person I’ve ever been around. His attention to detail just blows me away. What I noticed about him is that the grind of coaching is not a grind to him.

But does Belichick schedule dinner dates with his players? If not, he's dropping the ball to know them as men.

Again with Peter King asking the tough questions though. 

The MMQB: Best player in the league we don’t know yet.

Simms: [Oakland linebacker] Khalil Mack. He’ll be a superstar for a long time. He’s Von Miller-esque.

Very Simms-esque answer.

The MMQB: Ever wonder what would have happened to you if you didn’t rupture your spleen in that game? [Simms suffered a rupture spleen in a 2006 game against Carolina, and started only one game the rest of his career. He retired in 2009, at age 29.]

No Peter, I bet he has never thought about the injury that seemed to ruin his career. It's never crossed his mind I bet. 

Simms: Never a week goes by that I don’t wonder about that. The injury ruined my career.

I think some might argue that having the last name "Simms" helped to make your career a little bit. So there's a bit of a trade-off.

The Niners save their season, and need to play more like Chris Borland.

Considering Chris Borland currently plays for the Niners, just shut up about this.

“Just a little dumb luck,’’ said linebacker Chris Borland, after he recovered a fumble in overtime and Phil Dawson followed with a game-winning field goal in New Orleans. There’s some truth to what Borland says, but to see how he attacked the loose ball, swan-diving in from five feet away, no regard for his own health, is a good lesson for the seasoned pros on the Niners who might not be playing the same sense of desperation. “I didn’t give it a lot of thought,’’ Borland said. “I just reacted. That’s the game right there, that ball on the ground.”

It was embarrassing when no other Niners players attempted to recover the fumble here. I remember earlier in the game when Perrish Cox saw a fumbled football and pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and lit it WHILE THE BALL WAS JUST LAYING ON THE GROUND! Just play more like Chris Borland, 49ers defense that Borland is a member of.

The Fine Fifteen

2. Arizona (8-1). Game of Week 11: Detroit (7-2) at Arizona (8-1). Seems the Cards play one of these prove-it games every two or three weeks. Even without Carson Palmer, this just looks like Arizona’s year.

I don't know if the Cardinals have totally gotten the Drew Stanton experience yet. We'll see. Let's just say I am not as confident as Bruce Arians the Cardinals can win a Super Bowl with Drew Stanton as their starting quarterback.

6. Indianapolis (6-3). Worked out well that the NFL gave the Patriots and Colts the Week 10 bye and a Week 11 meeting. Competitive fairness.

I would certainly hope the NFL didn't specifically give these two teams a week off in preparation for them facing each other. Other NFL teams who also have to play competitive games not off of a bye week would probably be miffed otherwise.

8. Detroit (7-2). Lions have won the past three by 1, 1 and 4 points. I say last year’s Lions would have lost two of those. “We don’t think about that,” Matthew Stafford told me after the tight win over Miami. I do.

It's those dinners and mind games I tell you. It's not just that the Lions are winning the close games they lost last year.

10. Seattle (6-3). I don’t want to deflate any win by any NFL team, and I don’t mean to make light of the Giants’ defensive backfield Sunday at CenturyLink Field, but I do believe that was Elvis “Toast” Patterson playing nickel for the beleaguered and beat-up New York secondary.

Peter doesn't want to deflate the win or make light of the Giants' injuries, but he'll fucking do as he pleases anyway. As I've shown before, when Peter says, "I don't want to do this," then you know he is immediately going to do that thing he claims he doesn't want to do.

14. San Francisco (5-4). There are elements to criticize in Colin Kaepernick’s game Sunday in New Orleans, but he kept the vital play alive at the end of regulation, saving the season with a 51-yard bomb to Michael Crabtree on fourth-and-10 from the Niners’ 22. Now the Niners (at New York Giants, Washington at home) can be relevant for their Thanksgiving Night showdown with Seattle at Levi’s Stadium if they take care of business in two winnable games.

Uh-oh, could the Seattle-San Francisco game be the one that THE MMQB will have so much fun covering on Thanksgiving day?

T-15. Buffalo (5-4). The offense is really limiting the growth of this team. Points in last seven games: 10, 17, 17, 22, 17, 43 (against the Jets) and 13. That’s not going to get it done.

Like Peter told E.J. Manuel to do, maybe Kyle Orton should just throw it deep more often.

Offensive Player of the Week
 
Michael Vick, quarterback, New York Jets. A Jets quarterback, player of the week? Heresy! Classic Vick game, doing just enough with his legs (39 yards rushing, including a nifty 18-yarder), an efficient 10 of 18 for 132 and two touchdowns 

"Efficient" being defined as "Not very good, but he didn't commit a turnover and his team won the game so I have no other idea what to call it."

(including a well-thrown 67-yarder to T.J. Graham). Best things: No interceptions, no fumbles lost, no fumbles period.

As I said, not very good, but he didn't commit any turnovers. Vick was 9-17 for 65 yards if you take away the T.J. Graham catch. You say "efficient" I say "not great, but the Jets won."

Defensive Players of the Week
 
I lied when I promised I’d only give a max of two awards in any category. I cannot whittle down the defensive men from Week 10.

At this point Peter, your readers fully expect you to immediately do something that you claim you will not be doing.

Kyle Shanahan, offensive coordinator, Cleveland. The Browns have gone 3-0, averaging 23 points a game over the past three weeks, without their best offensive weapon, wideout Josh Gordon, and without Pro Bowl center Alex Mack, and, in Thursday’s game at Cincinnati, without starting tight end Jordan Cameron and jitterbug wideout Andrew Hawkins—all either hurt or suspended. Shanahan is playing survival-ball with a cast of low-round picks and training-camp finds, with a quarterback who may or may not be the answer.

But Hoyer is the best of the crop of free agent quarterbacks, so suitors line up to pay for his services as soon as possible!

It's funny that Peter acted shocked earlier in this MMQB that the Browns had not had contract talks with Brian Hoyer since May, yet Peter writes here that Hoyer may or may not be the answer for the Browns at quarterback. Gee Peter, maybe that's the reason the Browns haven't had contract extension talks with Hoyer since May?

Goat of the Week
 
Andy Dalton, quarterback, Cincinnati. It was one of the most mind-numbingly awful performances by a quarterback of this, or any, NFL season. Dalton’s 10-for-33, no-touchdown, three-interception game Thursday in the 24-3 loss to Cleveland reinforced the belief among Bengal partisans that Dalton is not the man to lead the Bengals out of the football wilderness. 

Yeah, that was terrible. I have nothing. Bash away.

“It was definitely not a push-off. I’m running down the field telling myself, ‘Whatever you do, don’t push off.’ It’s interesting how guys grab me everywhere on the field and I put literally two fingers on somebody, and they make that kind of call.”
 
—New Orleans tight end Jimmy Graham, on the offensive pass interference call at the end of the fourth quarter that negated what would have been the winning touchdown.

So allow me to get this straight...a Saints player obviously cheated and then indignantly denies what everyone accepts as obvious cheating or foul play? Noooooooooooo...that doesn't happen. I don't believe a Saints player would deny anything like this happening.

I mean, I have great admiration for Graham the player. But that is just crazy. Graham pushed off, the defender hit the ground, and it enabled him to catch a touchdown pass that rightfully was flagged and called back.

Jimmy Graham should have just used coach-speak and Peter would have nodded and completely let this comment slide.

Many of you have wondered about the NFL’s love affair for the London games. Not surprisingly, it has to do with money, and exposure, and a bet on the globalization of football. There will be three more games at Wembley Stadium next season (Jets-Dolphins, Lions-Chiefs, Bills-Jaguars), so the experiment clearly is not going away.

More than exposure or globalization, it has to do with money. That's all that needs to be said. Whenever the Panthers end up losing a home game to play in London, you will find me writing on this blog pissed off about it. That's what upsets me the most. NFL fans with season tickets are losing a home game (and of course are still stuck with two worthless preseason home games) so that the NFL can expand into other markets. I think it's great the NFL wants to expand. I don't think it's okay the NFL wants to expand while taking away one of the 8 home games that each NFL team gets per season.

Peter shows that the NFL had ticket revenue of $31 million from the three games in London this year. I don't know how that works, but I wonder if season ticket owners for teams that lost a home game had to still pay for the home game they didn't get a chance to attend? If so, having the fans pay for 8 regular season home games instead of 7 regular season games is great revenue for the NFL also.

The bigger question, probably, is how much more the Jacksonville Jaguars can make from a home game in London versus a home game in North Florida. (In exchange for their four-year commitment to playing in London, the Jags receive the full home-team share at Wembley; other teams that give up home games receive what they’d average in a home game in the U.S., and the remainder is shared among all 32 teams.) Assume the Jags would have sold out the game Sunday against Dallas—67,297 seats, at an average ticket price of about $58. The gate at Wembley Stadium would be about $6.7 million more than if the game was played in Jacksonville. 

I would like to know if Jags fans are having to pay for 8 regular season home games and they are getting 7 home games. I would hope not. Either way, if I'm a Jags fan then I'm pissed that I am missing out on 8 regular season home games just so the NFL can expand their brand. Of course, the NFL does whatever the hell it wants to at all times.

MR. STARWOOD PREFERRED MEMBER TRAVEL NOTE OF THE WEEK

I had to drive from Manhattan to Boston on Thursday morning for a breakfast meeting. It’s about 208 miles from point to point. I left Manhattan at 4:50 a.m., sharp. Stopped once, briefly—at a drive-thru Starbucks on the Merritt Parkway in Woodbridge (near New Haven), and, at that hour, managed to avoid traffic everywhere for the first 170 miles … and I started imagining: This could be my first-ever New York-to-Boston drive in less than three hours.

This is Peter's fault. Never start talking or imagining about what good time you are making. It's sure to end quickly. Plus, if Peter had not stopped for coffee perhaps he could have missed some of the traffic or been five minutes ahead of the traffic.

I was 33 miles out when, on the Mass Pike, my dream died. Morning rush into Boston—not good. That traffic is as soul-sucking as the FDR Drive in Manhattan in the morning. Three hours, 33 minutes. Bummer.

Speaking of soul-sucking, how about hearing Peter talk about his frustrations while traveling, especially his frustrations while driving? It's like Peter doesn't think other people have the same inconveniences and issues while traveling, but his are more important because he's Peter King. It's bad enough personally getting stuck in traffic, but having the privilege of hearing about someone else getting stuck in traffic? That defines riveting.

Not a travel note, but a life one I thought you might enjoy.

Probably not.

Most mornings when I am home, I walk out of my apartment on the east side of Manhattan and head over to a bodega a block away and buy the New York Post and New York Daily News. (We get the New York Times and Wall Street Journal home-delivered.)

Look at you Mr. Fancy Pants with your four newspapers you read everyday, including getting two of those home delivered. I hope you don't have to walk in your gold plated bedroom slippers out of the house to pick up these papers you ol' rich boy.

The front pages of the papers are always … interesting. None moreso than Saturday’s Post. I like the Seinfeldian details at the bottom of the story.

So Seinfeldian. I think Peter's dream situation would be to get stuck on a deserted island with only Seinfeld, Meryl Streep and Philip Seymour Hoffman movies, and news shows anchored by Brian Williams to watch while U2 CD's constantly play in the background. Naturally, there would be a Starbucks barista on-call as well on this deserted island. Peter would never want to leave that island.

TEN THINGS I THINK I THINK

1. I think this is what I liked about Week 10:

b. Receiver Preston Parker of the Giants. A more physical receiver than I’d thought.

I would love to know prior to this past Sunday's action how physical Peter King thought Preston Parker actually was. I'm guessing he had barely heard of Parker.

i. Denard Robinson, with more explosiveness than I thought he had, on a 32-yard touchdown burst against Dallas.

Again, I would love to know how much explosiveness Peter King thought Denard Robinson had. Did Peter not watch Robinson at the University of Michigan? Peter King has more generic previous thoughts about players than I thought he had.

m. Are you kidding me with that flip-pass while getting dragged down, Ben Roethlisberger?

Yes, it was all a joke he was playing on you, Peter. You fell for it!

n. Anquan Boldin: best physical receiver in football.
o. Mike Evans: heir to best physical receiver in football.

Mike Evans is more physical than Peter thought he was.

2. I think this is what I didn’t like about Week 10:

d. Come on, Blake Bortles. Ever throw a touch pass?

Sometimes there is a reason a rookie quarterback doesn't start Week 1 of his rookie season, even after he had a great preseason. Exhibition games are exhibition games and better left to be played in London and then ignored.

f. I know. Alex Rodriguez is a baseball player. Or used to be. I just wanted to emphasize how much I don’t like him. I also cannot figure out how he can keep track of so many lies to so many people.

#hotarodtakes

What Peter liked this week: 

a. Great coverage by Richard Sherman on Odell Beckham on the goal line, forcing a deflected interception into the arms of safety Earl Thomas—and a gutsy return by Thomas. He could have taken a knee eight yards deep in the end zone, but Thomas had the presence to take it out, and he got it out to the Seattle 42.

What Peter didn't like:

k. Please, De’Anthony Thomas. You’re good. You’re not Superman. You cannot field punts at the 2-yard line in the National Football League.

You can't field punts at the 2-yard line in the NFL, but if you intercept a pass eight yards deep in the end zone, feel free to try to bring it out. If it works, Peter is totally cool with it.

5. I think this should be required reading for you this week, whether you love football unconditionally or whether you are having queasy thoughts about football’s place in our society. The title of writer Michael Sokolove’s piece is, “Is football the next tobacco?” Good question, and a thoughtful story.

Actually, the title of the piece that Peter linked is, "How One Lawyer's Crusade Could Change Football Forever." There is a discussion of football as a parallel to tobacco in the article, but not in the title of the piece.

6. I think Carson Palmer re-signing Friday is a tremendous boost to Brian Hoyer’s prospective new deal, wherever it ends up being done. There is not a marquee quarterback (is there ever?) in the 2015 free-agent quarterback pool. The two most interesting—which could change, depending on how Ryan Mallett does with his chance in Houston in the last half of the season—are Hoyer and restricted free-agent Austin Davis of the Rams. How I would rate the top five prospective quarterback free-agents-to-be, in order:

Good, I was dying to know who Peter thought were the top five prospective quarterback free-agents-to-be were. 

Brian Hoyer, Cleveland. Quick release, ability to process info. Has made some big throws under pressure for the Browns during their surprising 6-3 start, and the Browns have had zero conversations about a new contract for Hoyer since May, agent Joe Linta said Sunday. Linta also had Joe Flacco a couple of years ago. Flacco played out his deal and was rewarded after the Ravens won the Super Bowl. Hoyer has nowhere near the résumé of Flacco, of course. But he’s got one thing in common with Flacco. “He’s like Joe,” Linta said. “He’s bet on himself.”

The way Flacco and Hoyer bet on themselves seems a bit different. Flacco had a lot more money to lose if he bombed during his contract year, while Hoyer had money to lose, but probably not quite as much as Flacco did. Flacco probably (and I am assuming, granted) got a pretty good offer from the Ravens prior to his Super Bowl victory with $20 million in guaranteed money at least and gave it up to see if he could increase his value. Hoyer probably wasn't offered anything in that neighborhood in May from the Browns. So yes, they both bet on themselves, but Flacco seemingly had a lot more to lose in terms of money than Hoyer did by turning down the Browns attempts at a contract extension in May.

Mark Sanchez, Philadelphia. Much to see in the next two months, but in the right system, running a fast-paced offense (more to his liking), I think he has a chance to compete to be someone’s starter for a few years.

It's amazing how a few good starts change the narrative around a quarterback.

Austin Davis, St. Louis. He’s restricted, meaning the Rams will have the right to match any offer he gets. But Davis has been impressive under tough circumstances, and much more accurate than the Rams had any right to expect. He’s had 76 percent, 71 percent and 85 percent passing games in the past two months.

Austin Davis has more accuracy than Peter thought he did.

Jake Locker, Tennessee. Maybe, just maybe, the right coach can work on his accuracy issues, which are major. I don’t know what anyone can do about his injury issues, which also are many.

Peter has been talking about improving Locker's accuracy for 3-4 seasons now. He's never been an accurate quarterback. That's just not who he is. Live with it. When he's not injured, he's not terribly accurate. Accuracy can be improved, but it's not always the easiest thing for a quarterback to do.

I have always gotten irritated because Locker's accuracy issues are treated like a little work can improve them. Yes and no. He's never healthy, first off. Second, a comparison of how a Hall of Fame quarterback like Brett Favre improved his accuracy doesn't mean Jake Locker can do the same thing.

9. I think this was a refreshing take from Tony Romo on the future of football in London. He loved the week, said he loves London, and said, “As far as a team in London, I would recommend it for sure. I loved it here.” Music to Roger Goodell’s ears.

Nobody asked Tony if HE wanted to be the guy who played for an NFL team in London did they? Easy to love it when you don't have to worry about being the guy crossing the ocean to play in London for eight games in a season.

10. I think these are my non-football thoughts of the week:

b. Story of the week: Tyler Dunne of the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel with a few thousand interesting words on Brett Favre. Said he doesn’t want to do a TV gig, in part because of the travel and in part because, as he says, “I don’t want to sit around the set all day and hear Warren Sapp tell stories.”

Brett Favre would much rather sit around and hear other people listen to his stories I would assume. Because I'm an asshole, I think Brett Favre doesn't want to do a TV gig because that would involve sharing the spotlight. He much prefers to do interviews every year about himself and how he doesn't want to be in the spotlight, thereby putting himself back in the spotlight. You can't fool me Favre.

c. This could be prominent among the Things I’ll Never Figure Out About College Football: Why, in the midst of the home stretch of the college football season, was Ole Miss hosting the Presbyterian College Blue Hose (enrollment 1,172)? And why was Mississippi State hosting the Tennessee-Martin Skyhawks?

The same reason the NFL plays in London. Ticket revenue from fans attending the game. It's not that hard to figure out.

l. Beernerdness: Found a poor man’s Pliny The Elder in a west side bar in Manhattan on Saturday: Harpoon 100 Barrel series #51, Cambridge Uncommon Pale Lager. The name is long. The beer is worth it. It’s a cool beer—as the name implies, a combination of IPA with lager, leaving a bit of pine taste on the pallet.

I don't see where the name implies a combination of IPA with lager. I see it implies lager.

p. The basketball season is about 314 games long, and people are worried that the Cavaliers started 1-3? Sheesh.

Says the guy in the industry with "people" (and even Peter to an extent) who were worried the Patriots and the Seahawks would struggle all year.

Philadelphia 23, Carolina 16. Funny how all the focus in this game is whether Mark Sanchez can play competently enough for the Eagles to win. I wonder if Cam Newton (last three games: 48.1 percent completions, one touchdown pass) can. 

Well, I guess "we" got our answer didn't we?

The Adieu Haiku

The Cards: 8 and 1.
Even with Carson injured,
still NFC’s best.

Okay buddy. If Bruce Arians can make Drew Stanton into a real live NFL starting quarterback then he is deserving of Coach of the Year. If Arians can win a Super Bowl with Stanton as his quarterback then he should be inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame immediately. Color me skeptical that the Cardinals can win a Super Bowl with Stanton as the quarterback. I think this injury definitely doesn't mean the Cardinals are the NFC's best team. Of course, I'm also not smart enough to do haikus and read four newspapers per day either. 

3 comments MMQB Review: Peyton Manning Breaking Records, Taking Pictures, Getting Asked Leading Questions by Peter Edition

Peter King marveled at the greatness of Aaron Rodgers in last week's MMQB, as well as complimented the Starbucks corporation for making great coffee. Peter discussed the Cowboys and how Jerry Jones thought he had put a good team together, but not good enough of a team that he didn't want to draft Johnny Manziel of course. This week Peter talks about Peyton Manning breaking the NFL touchdown pass record, discusses the Percy Harvin trade and how the Seahawks suck now (but doesn't brag about the Rams as much as I thought he might), why Drew Bledsoe leads the league in cuteness (but is still second to Russell Wilson in precociousness), and puts Drew Brees as his "Goat of the Week," for struggling on two drives when the blame could also be put on the Saints defense for giving up 14 points to the Lions in the fourth quarter. That's not how Peter works though. He mentions how the Carolina offense didn't do much in the first quarter against Green Bay, while failing to mention the Panthers were down 21-0 after the first quarter with zero turnovers committed. He's gotta put the blame where it really goes, which is always on a team's quarterback unless he wants the blame to go somewhere else.

In the Denver locker room Sunday night after his 246^th NFL regular-season game, Peyton Manning asked, “Where’s Demaryius?”
 
Wide receiver Demaryius Thomas, someone said, was on his way out to the field to do an interview with NBC.
 
“We gotta get him back,” Manning said. “Get him back in here for a second.”

Thomas is doing an interview? Only Peyton Manning is allowed to be in front of a camera at all times! Peyton swears to God, if Demaryius starts doing commercials then he's not going to be re-signed after this season. He can go play with Eric Decker in New York. Why is Demaryius so vain that he has to constantly be on television, in commercials and doing interviews?

Someone went to intercept Thomas, and while he was being summoned, Manning found a blank piece of white paper in a notebook, wrote “509” on it with a black Sharpie and ripped the page out. He had a plan to commemorate setting the all-time touchdown-pass record with the 509^th of his career, thrown in the second quarter to Thomas; Manning usually does have a plan. 

Now Thomas was back, and Manning posed with the ball, the piece of paper and the pass-catcher for the record-breaking touchdown pass. You know, like the old days. When Wilt Chamberlain scored 100 points in an NBA game in 1962, he wrote “100” on a piece of white paper and held it up for the cameras.

See, that's a common misconception. Wilt Chamberlain was actually holding up the number of women that he had slept with in the past week, not how many points he scored in the game where he scored 100 points.

We’ll have time for the rest of the news of Week 7—the Detroit Lions winning with defense, Seattle continuing its puzzling slide,

When you run into the buzz saw that is a Jeff Fisher-led team then an embarrassing loss should be expected.

but we open in the car with Peyton Manning, as he drove home after one of the great nights of his football life … and that is saying something.

That is saying something. It's bittersweet for Peter. He likes Peyton Manning a lot, like more than one human should like another human, but he loves Brett Favre a lot more. It's like watching one child beat another child in a tennis match. Peter now knows how Richard Williams feels watching his daughters battle it out in the finals of Wimbledon.

There is no logic for what we’re seeing now: Peyton Manning, 38, veteran of four neck surgeries just three years ago, breaking a hallowed NFL record for career touchdown passes, and doing it at the top of his game. How is that possible? I don’t know—it just is. We’re seeing it. Manning is playing better in Denver at 36, 37 and 38 than he did when he was supposed to be in his prime.

I know, it's crazy. Remember back in the late 90's and early 2000's when baseball players were doing absurd things and older baseball players seemed to only get better as they got older? Man, that was crazy! It's almost like those baseball players defied the odds and all sense of reason as to why they were getting better as they got older.

Peyton Manning obviously isn't using some sort of PED to become a better football player, but I like the dichotomy of a baseball player who gets better as he gets older probably being accused of using PED's, but it's just accepted that Manning is getting better as he gets older. I know Manning isn't using PED's, but the point is if you switch what Peter is saying about Manning and pretend he is saying it about a baseball player during the Steroid Era, it sounds familiar and omnious.

Then Peter compares Manning's numbers with the Colts and Broncos, which show that Manning is better with the Broncos in terms of the numbers he puts up per game.

It is obviously a much smaller sample, but the numbers are stark. He has a deeper roster of wideouts to work with (four first-rate ones in Denver versus two in Indianapolis) and, though he loved and trusted Dallas Clark, there’s no question a superstar tight end is growing in Denver in Julius Thomas. One thing Indy had over Denver, though—running back Edgerrin James. He was better than the cast Manning has had to work with on the Broncos.

Let's also admit the rule changes that have further protected the quarterback from injury and changes to the rules that have opened up the NFL to becoming more of a passing league. Defenders are barely allowed to fight for a pass or pass interference is called now and that wasn't true for the majority of the time Manning played with the Colts.

“I can’t … I don’t know, really,’’ he said. “But I will say, possibly, that when I started back after my neck surgeries, I started back with the basics. The absolute fundamentals. I worked with [Duke coach and former Manning college coach] David Cutcliffe, and we went back to ground zero with everything I did. So I think my fundamentals all got sharper, and that could be a reason why this is happening now. But I don’t know.”

Wow, you mean sort of like a baseball player who has a new swing and that's why he is hitting all of those home runs now? He broke down his swing in the offseason, made a few adjustments and now he is on pace to hit 40+ home runs when his previous career-high was 23.

It's a fun game! Manning isn't a cheater, he's a great quarterback, but there are so many fun parallels to what baseball players said during the Steroid Era when discussing Manning playing at a high level in his late 30's.

Did you see Colin Kaepernick, who was 10 when Manning was drafted, smile broadly when Manning passed Brett Favre for the record in the second quarter? And did you see Niners rookie pass-rusher Aaron Lynch, who was 5 when Manning was drafted, smile and tap Manning on the helmet with a way-to-go when he broke it?

No, I did not. I had seen enough blowouts for one day. There was no need to watch one team I don't care about blow out another team I don't care about.

Okay, I did see Manning break the record, but then turned the channel back to "The Walking Dead."

507: A three-yard pass to Emmanuel Sanders, running a shallow cross just past the goal line, midway through the first quarter. Sanders used umpire Mark Pellis for a screen; the Niners cover guy, Dontae Johnson, ran into Pellis, fell down, and there was Sanders, wide open. “I didn’t know about that till I was looking at the pictures of the play back on the bench,” Manning said. “That’s not what the design was. We weren’t using the ref for a screen.”

Of course not, Peyton. You would never intentionally use the umpire as a screen. Ever. It just so happened a play was called where Sanders ran a shallow cross right across the area where the umpire was standing and the umpire was kind enough to help out Manning in a situation where he didn't need help.

Not to make another baseball parallel, but imagine the outrage if an umpire got in the way of a fielder during a rundown on the basepaths or prevented the catcher from making a tag because he was in the field of play and the catcher had to go around the umpire to get the baseball? The outrage would be insane. In football, it's just accepted the officials get in the way sometimes.

Thomas and the boys played keepaway with the ball, which looked so cute on TV—

Oh my God, I know! It was SO cute! It was precocious, cute, infantile but in a good way, and just showed how much fun these Broncos like to have! It was a super-dreamy and fun way to celebrate Manning's victory.

“Well, sort of,” said Manning. “We were playing around on Saturday, and they were doing it to me then, and of course I am the stiff and I can’t keep up, but I didn’t think in the game they would actually do it.”

But did they do it? DID THEY PETER?
 
They did it.

Then Peter was all like, "So CUTE!"

“You haven’t wanted to talk about the individual part of this,” I said. “But you’re at the top of the mountain now. You’re such a student of history, that’s got to mean something to you, to have more touchdown passes than anyone else who’s ever played pro football. Right?”

Great question, Peter. And by "great question" I mean "that's not even close to a question and more is like an example of a question asked by Chris Farley on 'The Chris Farley Show' which should probably ashame you a little bit."

"So Peyton, we have talked about your football record you just set, but we haven't talked about YOU (twirls his hair). So this has to mean something to you because you are one of the greatest quarterbacks ever and no one else can claim they have the record because you worked so hard for it and I know it meant just SO MUCH to you to break this record. I mean, you are better than anyone else in NFL history at throwing touchdowns and that means a lot and is an example of what a great quarterback you are and probably one of the best quarterbacks in the world (twirls hair again). I mean, right?"

“This is the kind of record I’m only going to have temporarily,” he said, but I got the feeling he was trying to be a bit self-deprecating here.

Not sure this is self-deprecating there, Peter. Peyton isn't undervaluing his abilities, just acknowledging the changes in the game of football that would lead to another quarterback soon breaking the record like he broke the record soon after Favre held it. Dictionary fail.

“I just hope whoever breaks it years from now has an appreciation for history, and for quarterbacks.”

He probably won't have an appreciation for history and quarterbacks. Most likely it will be some asshole who doesn't even like quarterbacks.

The Lions are not held hostage by Calvin Johnson anymore.

That’s not a slap at Johnson, obviously one of the best players in football. But over the years, quarterback Matthew Stafford has become so dependent on Johnson, and the rest of the team so sure that Johnson would bail the Lions out of trouble, that the crutch has hurt the development of the franchise.

It helps that the Lions have invested in wide receivers alongside Johnson, and I say negative things about Jim Caldwell, but he's pretty good at coordinating an offense.

This year Johnson has been out for two games, and he has barely played in two others, because of a sprained ankle. Detroit is 3-1 in those four games, for three reasons: Stafford has found other weapons to use, the defense is really good, and the new coach, Jim Caldwell, doesn’t stand for any excuses.

Well that, and again, the Lions have invested heavily in giving Stafford offensive weapons. But like the Cowboys are better because it's a new Tony Romo, I'm sure the offense of the Lions plays well without Johnson simply because Caldwell doesn't like excuses.

The Lions have had a good front seven for the last couple of years. But a leaky secondary has killed them—

I know that feeling.

The Lions finished last season on a 1-6 run that cost Jim Schwartz his coaching job. In all six of those losses Detroit gave up the tying or winning points after the start of the fourth quarter. That has turned around this year. Detroit has the stingiest defense in football through seven weeks, the only team allowing less than 300 yards per game. On Sunday, Quin told his defensive mates down the stretch: “We’re the No. 1 defense. Play like it.” And they did, limiting Drew Brees to a stunning 2-for-10 on the last two fruitless Saint drives.

I'm not trying to take anything away from the Lions, but the teams they have played so far are ranked 15th, 11th, 17th, 19th, 6th, 14th, and 22nd. It's not like they have played offensive juggernauts quite yet. They have played nearly every middle-of-the-pack offensive team, so I still question whether they are a good defense or not.

But there’s a lot of respect for Caldwell in the building, from the people executive offices to the guys who clean the floors. And last week he took the beat writers out for a three-hour dinner, and non-football topics were not only suggested but encouraged. A three-hour dinner, in the middle of a game week, with the media. Land sakes alive, coach! Stop being so human!

There you go. Jim Caldwell knows how to play the game. Get in good with the media and they won't write bad things about you. They'll remember that steak dinner you purchased them and maybe ease off you a little bit. Also, this whole "He took beat writers out for dinner" story takes on a whole new meaning if the Lions are 2-5 and not 5-2. When/If things go bad, people are going to say, "Why is Caldwell wasting time going to dinner when he should be fixing his team?" Winning fixes everything.

Three thoughts about the Percy Harvin deal.

Only three thoughts? 

And I won't get started again (okay, I will) about these stories of Harvin misbehaving and acting like an ass in Seattle. Where are these stories that NFL sportswriters were fond of relaying Friday night earlier in the year? These sportswriters sit on so much information, then proudly puff their chest out when the story breaks by saying, "This is what I heard six months ago happened." Good for you. Report on it at the time or you don't get credit for knowing this information.

2. The coaches are happy. First: Harvin should have produced better than he did. And who knows? Maybe he would have over time. But Seattle won last year with a strong running game and a regular NFL passing game out of multiple sets and with a quarterback in the pocket and on the move. With Harvin in the game, the Seahawks were getting too cute, playing too horizontally—because they viewed him as a Jet Sweep, bubble screen, get-the-ball-in-space-and-make-something-happen player, not a regular wide receiver. If you’ve got a Lamborghini, you don’t keep it in the garage; you drive it.

Great analogy, Peter. If you have a Lamborghini like Percy Harvin, you make sure it's not broken before driving it.

If you’re offensive coordinator Darrell Bevell, you don’t want to produce a game plan every week thinking, “Well, I’ve got to make sure I don’t tick off Harvin this week, so I have to account for that when I’m making decisions.”

Sure, I agree. But if you are Darrell Bevell then you also realize your team is in the lower third of the NFL in offense and it makes sense to get the football to your best, most explosive players when given the chance. Why wouldn't part of the game plan be to get the ball to Percy Harvin? This wouldn't be the first time an offensive coordinator has ensured part of his game plan is to get the ball to his best player early in the game. It's part of the deal. Just because a team has a receiver who wants the ball early and wants to be a part of the game plan doesn't mean that player should be traded. The issue becomes when that player's need for the football overrides his utility to the team.

3. The Jets did the right thing; this is a good experiment for them. For the last nine games of the season New York owes Harvin $6.47 million. That’s the last bit of money in this contract the Jets are obligated to pay him. I doubt this wakes Harvin up, and if it doesn’t, the Jets can say goodbye on Dec. 29, the day after the season, and figure, Well, we gave it a shot.

(Bengoodfella can't hold himself back) Josh Freeman. What about Josh Freeman, Peter? He got paid $2 million and then the Vikings could get rid of him after the last day of the season. Couldn't the Vikings have just gotten rid of Freeman like they did and figure "Well, we gave it a shot"? So why the weekly descriptions of what a waste of human flesh Josh Freeman was for Minnesota?

I will never get over this. In terms of a sportswriter completely overreacting to a player's performance, Peter takes the cake with his weekly rages against Josh Freeman. Yet, here he is perfectly fine with the Jets paying Harvin three times what Freeman made and being all chill about the Jets just giving up a draft pick and not keeping Harvin around next year. But when the Vikings sign Freeman and didn't give up a pick, Peter wanted everyone to know what a jerk Freeman was for not performing at a high level for Minnesota.

As for the Seahawks, I think they’ll work their way out of their rut (2-3 since opening night), but only if they protect Wilson better, make some holes for Lynch and get invaluable linebacker Bobby Wagner back from injury soon. They probably would have won Sunday in St. Louis had they played even a D-plus game on special teams instead of an F-minus.

The Jeff Fisher Era everyone!

“We have to have everyone take a breath.”

But inside the locker room, before it was opened to the press, anger spilled out for outsiders to hear. “Do your job!’’ was one of the milder ventings. The Bears continue to get flashes of brilliance but stretches of careless, turnover-plagued play from quarterback Jay Cutler, who reminds me of a more cavalier Brett Favre with the ball.

Well, Cutler has quite a few more interceptions to catch up with Favre, but he also has quite a few more touchdowns to get to the total Favre accumulated as well. The good news is that Skip Bayless probably likes Cutler again, because Cutler is being careless with the football.

It looks as though the NFL could take two paths to a new personal conduct policy: one for players, and one for all other NFL employees, including owners.

It will be a pretty easy to understand new personal conduct policy. The owners can do whatever the fuck they want to do without any repercussions, while the players can not. It's fair and doesn't punish owners like Jerry Jones who settled a sexual assault case in mediation for accusations that would get an NFL player suspended or put on the super-special commissioner's list for players who did bad things and nobody has a clue whether to punish the player or not so he will just stay on this exempt list.

I am told there is likely to be one onerous part of the policy for NFL personnel—from owners to administrative assistants—that hasn’t existed before. The NFL could well adopt a policy similar to some police departments and other public-service sectors. If an employee is charged with a serious crime, such as happened in the case of Colts owner Jimmy Irsay, the league could put the employee or owner on paid administrative leave, pending the outcome of the case.

But what if the employee or owner "has a problem" and that's why he committed the serious crime? How will this new personnel policy treat the owners like they have a problem that needs help, while in the same situation treating players like assholes who just need to stop driving drunk?

The Fine Fifteen

Assorted NFL teams placed in orderly fashion as chosen through a random process of Peter King's opinion!

1. Dallas (6-1). Tony Romo is completing 69 percent, DeMarco Murray is on pace to rush for 2,087 yards, and the Cowboys can play defense. Life is darn good in Dallas.

It's almost like there is a correlation between all three of these things.

6. Green Bay (5-2). Really, three through eight here can be put in any order. You pick.

Or since you are the one who writes the column and insists on including a Fine Fifteen, how about you pick?

10. Baltimore (5-2). Won five of six, and scored 29 (Sunday), 38 and 48 in three of those game. Which is good when you’re giving up an average of 14 points in the same span. It’s fairly incredible that all of this is happening to a team that was supposed to be ripped asunder by the Ray Rice scandal.

I'm not even sure who said the Ravens would be ripped asunder by the Ray Rice scandal. It sounds like Peter is making this up in order to create a narrative to place alongside the Ravens playing well at the current time.

12. Seattle (3-3). I don’t know what this team is right now. I do know the Seahawks are 2-3 in the last five games, and allowing 25 points per game, and playing like that is going to get the Seahawks homebound in January. Which would be a mild upset.

Peter probably shouldn't overreact to this. The Seahawks lost to the #1 team in his Fine Fifteen and then played on the road against the Rams during a week with a lot of team turmoil. I can't wait until the Seahawks go 11-5 and Peter will ask if we remember when "everyone was counting the Seahawks out" after the Percy Harvin trade.

So has Peter found the answer yet as to whether Russell Wilson sweats or not? I feel like Wilson does sweat, but I want a definitive answer from Peter.

15. Cincinnati (3-2-1). And fading very, very fast.

And Andy Dalton STILL hasn't won a playoff game. Be sure to mention this.

Goat of the Week
 
Drew Brees, quarterback, New Orleans. Brees had the Saints up 23-10 late at Detroit. The Lions scored once to make it 23-17, and Brees went incompletion-incompletion-interception.

I don't think I would defend Brees too much here, but it's a bit much to call him the "Goat of the Week." Brees wasn't at-fault for the defense allowing the Saints to march 90 yards on six plays the possession prior to this interception. He was obviously at-fault for the interception he threw, but if the Saints defense has stepped up and held the Lions to a field goal instead of a touchdown, then the Saints still win the game.

On the ensuing series, Brees’ first four passes were incomplete, then he completed two for seven yards, and then he threw an incompletion on fourth down. It’s not often, if ever, that Brees, in the clutch over two series, would go 2 of 10 with a passer rating of 0.0, but he did here, and it cost New Orleans dearly.

It's just a bit much to call Brees a "Goat" when he went 28-45 with 342 yards. He did throw the interception, but there wasn't another NFL player who had a worse performance this past week?

“You’re playing against a coordinator out there.”
 
—San Francisco safety Eric Reid, after Peyton Manning shredded the Niners for four touchdowns, including the NFL record-breaking 509th career TD pass.

Adam Gase is offended at the idea he isn't the true offensive coordinator for the Broncos. Look at what a hot coaching candidate he is!

“Hopefully we got windows on that son of a b—-.”
 
—Arizona coach Bruce Arians, on the team buses the club will use in Oakland. Arians was reminded on Friday that the fans in Oakland, the site of the Cardinals’ game on Sunday, threw eggs at the Chargers’ team buses last Sunday.
Arians loves to say that “SOB” phrase.

Fascinating, Peter. Just fascinating. There's nothing sportswriters like more than a coach who curses and seems like a real character. They like it almost as much as they like free snacks in the pressbox.

Stats of the Week
 
These from the Percy Harvin file:

Real quick change of the subject...would Gregg Easterbrook consider this to be a mega-trade for Percy Harvin? I'm guessing he would and he will bring the Vikings-Seahawks trade that brought Harvin to Seattle as a reason mega-trades don't work in TMQ. I'm trying to steel myself for this.

For those eight games, the Seahawks paid Harvin $19.03 million, and they paid the Vikings first-, third- and seventh-round picks.

But that $2 million the Vikings gave Josh Freeman just to sit the bench.....man, Peter wakes up in the middle of the night and rages against Freeman for stealing money like he did. How dare Freeman help to get Peter's buddy Greg Schiano fired like that!

Chip Kelly Wisdom of the Week

(Yawns) Peter is still doing this? He is still pretending that Chip Kelly is a coach who has tons of interesting things to say that readers of MMQB can't wait to have Peter relay to them? A lot of what Kelly says sounds like dressed-up coachspeak to me.

Kelly, captured by NFL Films on the sidelines of the Giants-Eagles game eight days ago:
 
“We got a good group of guys, don’t we? Culture wins football games. Culture beats scheme every time.”
 
Eighteen words that tell the story of Chip Kelly the football coach right there.

Yes, it does Peter. Chip Kelly, who is known for his innovative offensive schemes, thinks that culture beats scheme every time. I'm betting there is a discussion of DeSean Jackson in here somewhere, but Peter will expect some other sportswriter to lead that discussion. He prefers to stand in awe at the words out of Chip Kelly's mouth rather than analyze what these words might mean in regard to a well-covered story from this past summer. It's Peter's job to fawn, not connect dots.

Mr. Starwood Preferred Member Travel Note of the Week

Or, as I call it, the story of how Peter King dropped hints to a complete stranger and used his celebrity to get tickets to a Royals playoff game.

The fellow next to me at the bar was rooting for the Royals, and I looked over and saw his boarding pass with “MCI”, the Kansas City airport abbreviation, and so we struck up a conversation. Lance Baughman was his name; a lawyer from Kansas City with Royals season tickets held by his firm

So then Peter thought, "How can I drop a hint that I want to attend a Royals game?"

He wanted to know what I did, and I told him, and said I was going to Kansas City to do a story there with the Chiefs. So we settled in, watched the game and talked.

"I'm Peter King. I'm a well-known sportswriter who writes a weekly column about the NFL and can get your name mentioned in the column to give you and your law firm free publicity if you will just find a way to score me Royals tickets."

I'm kidding, Peter didn't say that. He just hoped the hints he dropped would lead to free tickets to a Royals game.

I told him if I got done with my meetings with the Chiefs in time for the late-afternoon game the next day that I would try to StubHub a ticket late and go. We exchanged numbers and boarded the plane, going our separate ways.

There's the hint drop that Peter wants a Royals ticket, and then he exchanged numbers with the guy, since apparently Peter needs this guy's phone number to purchase a ticket on StubHub? Of course not! Peter wants a free ticket.

When we landed, Lance Baughman sent me a text. Seems his partner couldn’t make the game the next day, and would I be interested in attending the game with his partner’s grown son?

(Lance calls his partner) "Hey, I just met Peter King from THE MMQB at a bar. He wants to go to a Royals game. Can you give him your ticket for tomorrow?"

(Lance's partner) "Well, you know my son wanted to go that game with me pretty badly. It's an important game in the history of the franchise and I would love to experience it with my son who I love very much."

(Lance) "Free publicity. He'll mention my name in the column if we do this I bet. Well, I don't bet, Peter literally said, 'I sure would like to go to the game and would mention someone's name in MMQB if they gave me a ticket.' I think he was hinting at it pretty hard."

(Lance's partner) "Fine, give him the ticket, but be sure he mentions your name AND my name."

(Lance) "Have you ever read anything written by Peter King? He'll name-drop us. He loves free shit and the NFL and NFL teams use him as a patsy when they feel like they can."

(Lance's partner) "Get it done then. Just say I have an important meeting to attend."

Well, what a swell offer.

Golly gee! Peter thinks he is being self-deprecating right now.

I just had to be sure I could make it the next day, and when we texted the next morning, I was sure I could. So I met Adam Wright, son of Baughman’s law partner Roger Wright, and we spent a very pleasant afternoon watching the Royals win their first pennant in 29 years. How incredibly nice of Lance Baughman and Roger Wright.

Yes, very nice of them. Of all the people who could have been given this ticket, it's so nice of them to give it to a complete stranger and not one of the countless other individuals that live in the Kansas City area, are big Kansas City Royals fans and are people who Adam Wright might personally know better and would enjoy attending the game with. Weird how that works, isn't it?

Postscript: Every time on Wednesday afternoon that I stood up to stretch or look around between innings, I scanned the stands at Kauffman Stadium, and I couldn’t find an empty seat. This was not a crowd there to be seen or to go get food and beer over and over; this was a celebration of baseball, and the 40,468 in the house would be damned if they were going to miss a pitch. So good to see.

It's almost like the Royals have had a shitty team for a while and the crowd was anxious to see a winning team play. I'm sure Peter described the crowd as very Fenway-esque and mention Lorenzo Cain plays centerfield like Jacoby Ellsbury, while Salvador Perez reminds him of a younger Jason Varitek.

Hot date for Father Daughter Dance!!! pic.twitter.com/tQU9q1OD5d
— Drew Bledsoe (@DrewBledsoe) October 19, 2014

The ex-QB on Saturday night, presumably before the big event. That, Drew Bledsoe, leads the league in cuteness.

It leads the league in cuteness, but is in second place for precociousness. I'm not sure there is a sportswriter alive that uses the word "cute" or "precocious" as much as Peter King does. He absolutely adores taking grown men and describing their behavior in child-like terms.

The sad news for Bledsoe is that immediately after taking this picture he sprained his ankle on a rock, but Tom Brady stepped in and took Bledsoe's daughter on a much hotter date for the Father Daughter Dance. Bledsoe then took his other daughter on a Father Daughter date, but it wasn't really the same ever again.

Ten Things I Think I Think

Peter thinks he sure would like a World Series ticket. He guesses he'll just go on StubHub here in a minute and see if he can find a ticket, though he's not confident...if only someone had an extra one.

1. I think this is what I liked about Week 7:

b. Drew Brees, with 19 straight first-half completions against a rising-star defense in Detroit.

GOAT OF THE WEEK!

e. I love the referees being able to talk—through wireless communications—with the field officials on things like pass interference.

Golly, the NFL is so smart with their innovations and constant forward-thinking. By the way, has anyone gotten to the bottom of whether Roger Goodell lied or not when he said he had not seen the Ray Rice video? It slowly fades away...

q. Tre Mason. Not a lot to like about how the Rams are playing as we approach midseason, but the rookie has a burst and some power to him, as shown against Seattle.

Team...on...the...rise. See, no one should accuse Jeff "8-8" Fisher of not knowing what he's doing. The Rams drafted Isaiah Pead in the second round, then drafted Zac Stacy in the fifth round and pretended to want to play him, but Fisher really was sandbagging and wanted to have Tre Mason be the starter. It's just like how Fisher made idiots like me think he had built his team around Sam Bradford when that wasn't AT ALL his plan. He was really getting ready to build the team around the Rams' third-string quarterback, Austin Davis, and wanted to mask his plan by starting Sam Bradford and signing Shaun Hill to be Bradford's backup.

2. I think this is what I didn’t like about Week 7:

d. Jets tight end Jace Amaro’s steel girders for hands.

I'm pretty sure NFL players aren't allowed to play with steel girders for hands. That seems illegal in some fashion and would result in a fine.

g. Come on, Jets: I know you’re the house organ, but you’re telling me you can’t ask Percy Harvin even one pertinent question?

This is a strong take coming from Peter, a guy well-known for his "You are the greatest ever, right? So how does that feel?" line of questioning or if he wants to be more hard-hitting, he may ask a question like "You were kicked out of the league for murdering 10 people, tell me one thing people don't know about you."

m. Carolina, down 21-0, third-and-one at its 33 to try to get something, anything, going … and then Jonathan Stewart is stoned at the line of scrimmage. Rapidly becoming a lost season for the Panthers.

Yes, it is. By the way the Panthers are 1.5 games ahead in first place of the NFC South right now. So it's a lost season, but they are the team in the NFC South outrunning the bear right now. 

n. Oh, and Cam Newton’s first-quarter stats at Green Bay: 0-for-2. And Carolina’s yardage in the first quarter: five.

Here's another interesting statistic. Green Bay was up 21-0 after the first quarter and the Panthers offense had the ball for about five minutes. Not that the Panthers offense, led by Newton have an excuse, but it really would have helped an offense with four undrafted free agents on the offensive line to not have the Packers ahead by 20+ points after the first quarter. At least the Panthers defense should have pretended to do their jobs. But yeah, Cam was bad in the first quarter, lay the blame there. Seems fair.

3. I think the tremendous NFL Network interview with Brett Favre on Sunday took me back to so many of the conversations I had with Favre—

His gruff, yet tender voice. The way he plays with his beard while he talks in a cute little way. So precocious, like he's almost not aware he does it.

because the word “interview” with Favre is really misleading. You’d go into a talk with him thinking you’d want to ask him about X number of topics, and invariably you’d veer off into some tributary you never expected.

But then Peter would get the urge to veer off into another tributary no one expected them to veer into. But it wasn't right then and it wouldn't be right now. What would Deanna say? What would the kids do? Why would Uncle Pete do this to them?

He’d be tough to deal with today, in the atmosphere of tight schedules for superstars, where a 10-minute window with a big star is generous. So many times 15 minutes became 115 minutes, and he was fine with that. That’s what I saw between Favre and Steve Mariucci on Sunday. You can say, “Well, Mariucci coached him and they’re good friends.” True—but I’ve seen it with Favre and people he didn’t even know very well.

And we know Peter would NEVER just vouch for Favre because he likes him. Also, I would argue that Favre loves the spotlight, so any time he gets to talk to someone who can put him on television and remind everyone watching that he still exists, Favre will talk as long and much as he wants in an effort to keep that spotlight on him.

5. I think Percy Harvin needs to talk to Brandon Marshall about whatever it is that ails Harvin. And it is apparent something does. Marshall, until being diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder in 2011, was widely viewed as a very good football player who simply couldn’t control his emotions, and those emotions were ruining his football career and wreaking havoc with his ability to live a normal life.

Apparently Peter King thinks that Brandon Marshall is a psychologist now. Also, Harvin would have to admit that something ails him, or there would actually have to be something ailing him for Harvin, to speak with Marshall and it have any positive effect.

I don’t know what Harvin’s story is. 

It seems Peter King does know what Harvin's story is since he seems to believe Harvin has a personality disorder and needs to speak with Brandon Marshall in order to find out the best way to treat this disorder. Peter doesn't know what Harvin's story is, but he knows enough to suggest it could be a personality disorder.

But if he blows this chance with the Jets because he can’t control his emotions, his football gravy train might be over.

Harvin is fast and talented. As long as he doesn't commit a crime and get suspended by the NFL there will usually be teams willing to take him on as a challenge.

6. I think it’s pretty easy to talk about the futility of the Bucs and focus on the inability of the defense to stop anything in its wake; Tampa has allowed 56, 24, 37 and 48 points in the past four games. But that is masking an equal problem on the other side of the ball. The Bucs have a startling number of negative plays on offense. I missed this display of offensive futility last week in the column, but with the Bucs on the bye Sunday, I wanted to bring it to your attention today.

Because in last week's MMQB, it was more important for Peter to write all the other filler that's non-NFL related than it was to discuss the Buccaneers' offensive problems. Priorities.

9. I think if you want to know why so many details about Percy Harvin’s sordid time with Seattle never surfaced until the weekend trade to the Jets, I believe it has much to do with the culture of the locker room—and specifically the culture of Pete Carroll’s locker room.

It also has to do with sportswriters who were aware of these issues never reported on them. I know this because less than hour after the trade, there were NFL sportswriters being all "Yeah, Harvin was a pain and didn't get along with teammates" regarding the trade on Twitter. So maybe the details weren't immediately mentioned, but it was obvious there was some knowledge among those paid to cover the NFL and the Seahawks about Harvin not being the best of teammate.

For proof, see the Harvin-Golden Tate fight before the Super Bowl. It even extended to Tate once he left for Detroit in free-agency and was no longer beholden to honor the code of locker-room silence in Seattle. He never broke the code as a Lion. After the story was reported by the Seattle Times on Friday, it was confirmed in many spaces over the next 36 hours,

Yeah, it was confirmed, but there were tales of a fight that just simply never went explored. I know this because the story of a possible Harvin-Tate fight was reported shortly after he was traded. Apparently these reporters, who seemed to be familiar with the story, didn't feel the need to confirm the story prior to Harvin's trade when they had originally heard tell of such a fight. I guess it's not fun to report on a Harvin-Tate fight when one of the players is still on the Seahawks team.

10. I think these are my non-NFL thoughts of the week:

e. The Giants win the pennant! The Giants win the pennant! The Giants win the pennant! The Giants win the pennant! The Giants win the pennant!

f. They’re going crazy! They’re going crazy! Whoaaaaaa-oh!

I'm really glad Peter took the time to include these thoughts in MMQB. Very insightful.

i. Giants in seven. But I don’t feel particularly confident about it.

Considering I am betting Peter couldn't have named three players on either team prior to the playoffs starting, I can understand his lack of confidence.

j. If I were building a baseball team this offseason, and if I could spend relatively the same per year, combined, for Andrew Miller, Pat Neshek and Yovani Gallardo (or a starting pitcher in the $10-million-a-year range) as I could for, say, Jon Lester, I’d opt for the first option.

This is a moot point because Gallardo probably won't be a free agent, but Jon Lester is going to want around $22 million or so per season in his next contract. Gallardo was paid a little under $8 million this year and the way the free agent market is set up for starting pitchers he will probably want $13 million per year (which is what the Brewers team has an option for, so he won't even be a free agent). Edward Mujica got $9.5 million over two years, so Neshek will probably want about $5 million per year. The market for a lefty like Andrew Miller is probably about $7-$10 million per year, so that puts the total spent on these three players at $25 million at a minimum. So I would agree with Peter these three players may be preferable to Lester, but it doesn't matter really because these three players couldn't be signed for what Lester wants over one season.

q. Enjoyed the story by Richard Sandomir of the New York Times on plummeting baseball ratings despite the thrilling postseason. Amazing to think that, in 1982, 49.9 million people watched a World Series game between small-market teams St. Louis and Milwaukee … and, 32 years later, a Game Two playoff cliffhanger between Los Angeles and St. Louis was seen by 1.77 million people on MLB Network.

And in 1982, the highest-rated television shows got much higher ratings than the highest-rated television shows in 2014 receive. There is more programming to distract a viewer in 2014 and baseball hasn't become appointment television. Statistics showing the decline in viewership of baseball games is an old story, but isn't necessarily indicative of baseball dying. There's many, many more options for viewers of television in 2014 than there was in 1982.

The Adieu Haiku

Could Luck pass Manning?

He’s four hundred forty-five
behind. (All heads shake.)

Why does it have to be Andrew Luck? Aaron Rodgers has 206 career touchdown passes and he's only 30 years old. Eh, Andrew Luck will probably break Manning's record because it would be a convenient narrative that the guy who followed Manning in Indianapolis would pass him for career touchdown passes. "We" all love convenient narratives. 

5 comments David Steele Keeps Talking Jim Caldwell Up

About a year ago David Steele wrote an article championing Jim Caldwell to get another chance as an NFL head coach. I wrote that he (Caldwell, not Steele...though Steele should be ignored too in this case) should continue to be ignored, based off Steele's column that stated Caldwell deserves another shot to be an NFL head coach. It turns out Caldwell did end up getting another NFL job, he's now the head coach for the Detroit Lions. So David Steele now writes that Caldwell should not be viewed as a leftover pick, even though the Lions did have Ken Whisenhunt (who really isn't the cream of the crop either if you ask me) as their first choice. The Lions even sent a plane to pick up Whisenhunt, which he did not choose to board, so the Lions' plane sat sadly at the airport probably with a sad look on it's face like this one.

I'm not down on Jim Caldwell as much as I don't understand why David Steele thinks Caldwell really, really deserves another chance to be a head coach in the NFL. I understand head coaches get a second chance in the NFL all the time and I understand they work sometimes (Belichick, Carroll, Coughlin) and they don't work out sometimes (Jeff Fis---I'm just kidding, Mike Shanahan, Joe Gibbs, Romeo Crennel, Eric Mangini). It all depends on the coach. I've seen some sportswriters try to get fancy in defending the selection of Whisenhunt and Caldwell by pointing out three of the head coaches in the AFC and NFC Championship games were so-called retread hires. It's not really the same thing. Bill Belichick I will grant you, but John Fox was successful in Carolina, but was let go for philosophical reasons (mainly Jerry Richardson didn't believe in paying a coach who hasn't made back-to-back playoff appearances $7 million per year...which of course led to Fox making back-to-back-to-back playoff appearances in Denver) and Pete Carroll wasn't overly-successful in New England, but he was very successful at USC. Jim Caldwell hasn't had the previous success outside of two seasons in his coaching career and he was a horrendous college coach, unless you don't count win-loss record as part of whether a head coach was successful or not.

I will list Caldwell's record as a head coach again to show you he isn't a successful head coach who was done in by a bad season in Indianapolis. Those two seasons of success in Indianapolis are the outlier in his coaching record.

1993-2000 Head Coach for Wake Forest University:

1993: 2-9
1994: 3-8
1995: 1-10
1996: 3-8
1997: 5-6
1998: 3-8
1999: 7-5
2000: 2-9

2009-2011 Head Coach for the Indianapolis Colts:

2009: 14-2
2010: 10-6
2011: 2-14

Again, Caldwell is 28-77 when Peyton Manning isn't his quarterback. He's 24-8 with Manning as his quarterback. I'm pretty sure Peyton Manning doesn't play for the Detroit Lions. I want to be fair to Jim Caldwell and I don't think the Ken Whisenhunt hire was the greatest hire either. His record in Arizona shows you he is a quarterback-whisperer who couldn't develop a quarterback and constantly switched the quarterback and running back positions around, pulling guys in and out of the starting lineup. Jay Gruden, well he has no coaching record at the college or NFL level, so I will bite my tongue for now. I feel like Caldwell's hire by the Lions is a bizarre version of the NFL good ol' boys network. Tony Dungy and Peyton Manning gave Caldwell good references, as did Joe Flacco. It almost feels like Caldwell got the job based on his references as opposed to his coaching record.

I can't deny that Caldwell may be great for Matthew Stafford and he may help him take the next step (cliche alert) as a quarterback, but I feel like Caldwell is more offensive coordinator material and I think his time in Indianapolis backs that up. The Colts during his tenure has head coach went from making the Super Bowl to losing a home wild card game to going 2-14 without Peyton Manning. I could be wrong about Jim Caldwell. I'm not vehemently against him, but I also don't think his resume screams for another NFL head coaching job. I feel Whisenhunt rode Kurt Warner's coattails a little bit as well, but David Steele didn't write about Ken Whisenhunt in this column.

The job considered the best, most potential-laden opening in this NFL offseason went to a coach who has made the most out of a similar situation before.

But did (a) Jim Caldwell make the best of a similar situation before and (b) was it a similar situation? When Caldwell took over the Colts in 2009 they were a team coming off a 12-4 season and they had not had fewer than 11 wins since 2002. The Colts had made the playoffs 9 of the last 10 seasons. Oh, and they had a Hall of Fame quarterback at the helm.

The Detroit Lions are coming off a 7-9 year and they haven't had 11 or more wins since 1991. The Lions have made the playoffs 9 times since 1982 and the last time they won a playoff game was 1991.

I don't believe these two situations are similar at all. Both teams had good offenses and quarterbacks who were good at their job, but I really think that is where the similarity ends. The Colts are a successful franchise where Caldwell only had to make sure he didn't screw up as the head coach. The Lions want to keep the status quo on offense, but they are 11-21 over the last two seasons, so Caldwell is expected to improve the team, not just keep the boat afloat.

The Detroit Lions did not win in recent years despite their wealth of talent on both sides of the ball, including a former first-overall pick at quarterback—which is why Jim Schwartz is no longer there.

But, but, but...the Colts had experienced success when Tony Dungy retired and Caldwell took over the team. The Lions haven't experienced near the type of success the Colts had when Caldwell took over in 2009. So how is this a similar situation again? 

His first was inherited from Tony Dungy in 2009, three seasons after the Indianapolis Colts won the Super Bowl, and with Peyton Manning still in his prime.

Ahem.

Caldwell, Dungy’s top assistant and closest confidant, took the Colts to a 14-0 start and threatened a perfect regular season until an organizational decision to rest the starters cost them the final two games. The Colts went to the Super Bowl and lost to the Saints.

Notice how it was an organizational decision to rest the starters in those last two games, so the fact the Colts didn't win the last two games at all shouldn't reflect on him. Also, if David Steele took the time to look at the box score for this game then he would see Peyton Manning and the Colts starters seemed to play a significant portion of the Week 16 game and in the Week 17 game the only offensive starters who seemed to sit where Peyton Manning (and not even for the full game) and Donald Brown. Maybe the lesson is a team can't win games with Curtis Painter as the quarterback or maybe this is a lesson about Jim Caldwell's head coaching ability when Peyton Manning isn't his quarterback for an entire game.

Caldwell was fired two seasons later, after it was proven that Curtis Painter and Kerry Collins were inadequate replacements for the injured Manning—and after owner Jim Irsay completely overhauled the organization after releasing Manning and the balloon contract payment he was owed.

To be fair, it's nearly impossible to replace Peyton Manning. On the other hand, if Caldwell was such an offensive mastermind and capable of working with quarterbacks to make them successful then how come he wasn't able to turn Painter into at least a somewhat functional quarterback after having worked with him over the prior two seasons? I get that he can't make Painter a good quarterback and much of the issue with not having a good backup in place lands on the front office, but for a guy who is known for his offensive prowess the Colts offense fell apart badly without Manning.

The lukewarm reaction to Caldwell’s candidacy has stemmed largely from that final 2-14 mark in 2011.

Plus, he was an absolute failure at Wake Forest and made only one bowl game from 1993-2000. I figure that has to in some way figure into the decision-making process. When considering Caldwell as a head coach, even though college football is different from NFL football, his college record has to be taken into account. Not too many college coaches with a 26-63 record are receiving NFL head coaching jobs. So I would argue Caldwell's candidacy stems positively stems from his two good seasons with the Colts as their head coach, as opposed to the rest of his resume which reads as saying Caldwell is not head coaching material.

His work before that in all of his years in Indianapolis—and afterward, with his two seasons with the Ravens, including his elevation to offensive coordinator in time to jump-start their run to the Super Bowl—apparently weighed more to the NFL teams that were interested in him.

I realize the Ravens lost a lot of key free agents and had injuries as well, but the Ravens were 29th in total yards per game on offense and Joe Flacco has his worst year as a professional. It seems like when judging Caldwell's ability as a head coach there a lot of talk like "Well, ignore that because of Problem X and Problem Y." It's as of I am supposed to ignore Caldwell's record when injuries occur or he doesn't have Peyton Manning as his quarterback, which is fine, but it leads me to ask how good of a head coach Caldwell will be if injuries occur (which they do) and Manning isn't his quarterback while coaching the Lions?

Caldwell’s Colts hardly underachieved with Manning;

I wouldn't say the Colts underachieved, but under Caldwell the Colts won two games one season without Manning and won fewer than 11 games with Manning as the quarterback for the first time since 2002. So relative to what the Colts were used to, in two of Caldwell's three seasons as the Colts head coach they did underachieve.

during the Dungy years Caldwell’s role in Manning’s separation from the rest of the quarterback pack has been almost criminally understated.

Caldwell was the Colts quarterbacks coach from 2002-2008 and I have no idea how crucial he was to Manning's development. Most of the praise I read was for Howard Mudd and Tom Moore, but I'm sure Jim Caldwell had something to do with Manning being the type of quarterback he is today. If Caldwell had never been an NFL head coach on any level then I would say his work with Flacco during the 2012 season and his affiliation with Manning may be enough to get him a head coaching job. Unfortunately, the Lions haven't hired Caldwell to be Stafford's quarterbacks coach or offensive coordinator. They have hired him to be the head coach of the team, which is where I question the hire in some aspects. I just feel like he's not a head coach.

Not to mention the title of this column is that Jim Caldwell shouldn't be perceived as Lions' leftover pick, but that's exactly what he is, so that's how he is going to be perceived. The Lions very clearly wanted to hire Ken Whisenhunt as their head coach, but he ignored them and took the job with the Titans before the Lions could even interview him. I know David Steele doesn't want Caldwell to be perceived as the Lions' backup plan, but from all appearances that's what he is. Steele can't just prevent this perception by wishing it away.

The praise he received for how he tapped the potential of the Joe Flacco-led offense for Baltimore during their playoff run, was a belated recognition of his abilities.

Okay, so what happened during the 2013 season then? I know the Ravens had injuries and other extenuating circumstances, but why wasn't Flacco tapped into his potential during the 2013 season? Was it his supporting cast and injuries that were the problem? How come Jim Caldwell couldn't get Ray Rice and Bernard Pierce on track and rushing the ball well? Was it the offensive line issues that got in the way? It's all well and good, but it feels like Caldwell got the Lions job based on his references (Dungy, Manning) and the fact Matthew Stafford seemed to like him, more than his record as a head coach and offensive coordinator.

Dungy gave him a strong endorsement for the Lions job, according to multiple reports,

Of course he did. They are good friends and Dungry was Caldwell's biggest supporter for the Lions job and Dungy basically hand-picked Caldwell as his successor when he retired from head coaching in 2008. The fact that Tony Dungy gave Caldwell strong endorsement only serves to show that Dungy still has faith in Caldwell to do the job of an NFL head coach. So if the Lions and David Steele thinks Jim Caldwell deserves another shot to be a head coach based on Dungy's endorsement, that's fine. This wouldn't be the first time a well-respected head coach was wrong about one of his assistant coach's ability to be a successful head coach himself though.

Basically, I don't care what Tony Dungy thinks and if the Lions decided to hire Caldwell based mostly on what Tony Dungy states about Caldwell then that is fine. The Lions aren't Dungy's organization and he has no stake in whether the Lions continue to succeed or not. Dungy is warm and happy working in the NBC studio. He has no reason not to support his friend for the Lions' head coaching job. If the Lions decided to hire Caldwell based partly on Peyton Manning's endorsement then they had better hope Matthew Stafford is willing to listen and run with Caldwell's advice like a Hall of Fame quarterback was able to. I understand Caldwell helped Flacco become successful in the playoffs last year, but Flacco took a step back (for whatever reason) this past season.

and he took to Twitter to immediately predict a playoff trip in his first season.

Which essentially means absolutely nothing. Tony Dungy is of course going to predict good things for the guy he recommended and championed to get the Detroit Lions job. I know David Steele can't be stupid enough to think Dungy would recommend Caldwell for the job and then not be confident in Caldwell's abilities to lead the Lions to the playoffs.

However, it’s likely that the more pivotal endorsement came from Matthew Stafford, the aforementioned former No. 1 pick who has hardly reached Manning levels in his five years.

And that's great, but it still doesn't mean Caldwell wasn't the Lions second choice.

By all accounts, Stafford and Caldwell meshed when the quarterback took part in the Lions’ interviews with the coaching candidate. Caldwell’s preparation, in which he broke down every throw Stafford made this past season, also made an impact on the team and player.

I understand the Lions want a head coach that is going to work well with Matthew Stafford and turn him into the quarterback they believe that he can be, but Stafford is going to be working with the offensive coordinator and quarterbacks coach on a daily basis while Caldwell has to deal with the head coaching duties.

Caldwell likely was at least the second choice, behind Ken Whisenhunt, who jumped from the Chargers’ staff to the Titans before the Lions could make an offer.

Hence, he was the leftover choice.

Whisenhunt also has one spectacular season with a veteran Hall of Fame quarterback, Kurt Warner, who took his previous team to a Super Bowl, and had a losing record otherwise without him. Yet the perception was that whoever got Whisenhunt was striking gold, and whoever got Caldwell was settling for leftovers.

I think this perception is entirely in Steele's head because that's a lazier way to frame his argument that Jim Caldwell is this overlooked gem. I don't think the Whisenhunt hire was a great one for the Titans. Whisenhunt has made quite a few questionable decisions on the offensive end of the ball for me to trust him to build Jake Locker's confidence and get the most out of him. In Arizona, Whisenhunt went from Matt Leinart to Kurt Warner to Derek Anderson to John Skelton to Kevin Kolb to Max Hall to Ryan Lindley to Brian Hoyer with a little bit of Richard Bartel mixed in during his six seasons as a head coach for the Cardinals. The running back position was near the same story. Running backs were drafted high and never panned out, which may or may not be Whisenhunt's fault, but it's part of his legacy as the Cardinals head coach.

So no, whoever got Whisenhunt wasn't striking gold, but honestly he has a longer history of being a successful offensive coordinator when compared to Jim Caldwell. Like Caldwell, Whisenhunt has also benefited as a head coach from strong, veteran quarterback play while not showing success working with a young quarterback as a head coach.

Caldwell’s overlooked, underappreciated track record says otherwise.

I don't think Caldwell is underappreciated. I think he is overappreciated if anything. There are two seasons on Jim Caldwell's head coaching resume that are outliers and those two years are the two seasons he was the head coach of the Colts with Peyton Manning as his quarterback. That's his track record. Outside of those two seasons, he has a long history of losing records as a head coach and limited experience (around a season and a half) as an offensive coordinator in the NFL. He's calm and completely different from Jim Schwartz which I know will be looked upon favorably in Detroit. So there's that.

It tells you that he’s an ideal fit for a team too talented not to win.

It tells me he is an ideal fit for a team who is already winning and needs stability in a head coach so the established quarterback can continue winning games. When Caldwell has to coach a team that hasn't won a ton of games recently his track record isn't pretty. Maybe Jim Caldwell will succeed in Detroit as the head coach, but if I were a Lions fan I would be much more comfortable if he was working with Matthew Stafford on a daily basis as the quarterbacks coach or offensive coordinator, as opposed to being the man in charge of turning the team around. Caldwell's track record says he hasn't had success at doing that.