0 comments Rob Rossi Has Some Strong Opinions Not Necessarily Supported by Facts or His Own Opinion

The Pittsburgh Pirates lost to the Chicago Cubs in the terrible, no-good one game Wild Card playoff. Rob Rossi thinks this is an important offseason for the Pirates, but he also thinks some of the Pirates best players are probably at-fault for this one game playoff loss. Rob Rossi states Gerrit Cole is not good enough and Andrew McCutchen has too many earrings. His takes are all overreactions and a sad attempt to simply blame someone, ANYONE, for the Pirates failings in the ridiculous one game Wild Card playoff.

I'll start first with Rossi's issues about Gerrit Cole just not being good enough for the Pirates. He's a bum and the city of Pittsburgh deserves much than him.

More winning. Less jawing. And better pitching.

The Pirates need all of that in the biggest games from Gerrit Cole. 

While admitting that Gerrit Cole didn't pitch his best against the Cubs, let's also understand that the Pirates scored zero runs. Gerrit Cole could have thrown a nine inning perfect game and the Pirates still would not have beaten the Cubs without the game going to extra innings. So blame Cole, but also understand the Pirates' batters didn't score any runs for Cole. He can't win a game if his offense doesn't score a run.

Cole was horrendous and the reason the Pirates never were in position to win a National League wild-card game they lost to the Chicago Cubs, 4-0.

He needed to stick around for more than five innings.

He needed to not allow a first-inning run, then a two-run homer in the third and a solo shot in the fifth.

He needed more first-pitch strikes. 

Cole could have stuck around for nine innings, allowed zero home runs, and thrown a first-pitch strike to every single better he faced. It wouldn't have mattered because Jake Arrieta gave up zero runs too. 

No, the Pirates didn't go out there and give it to the Cubs. Cole did, though.

His margin for error was not slim. It was none. 

And of course, because his margin for error was none then it is Cole's fault the Pirates lost the one game Wild Card playoff. The fact Cole didn't pitch well was unfortunate. The issue is that even if Cole pitched extraordinarily, it still wouldn't have even mattered. The Pirates were going to lose the game because they couldn't score runs against Jake Arrieta. The fact Gerrit Cole could have given up zero runs and pitched nine innings, yet still not win the game, reflects on his team as much as giving up four runs in five innings reflects on him. 

As soon as he gave up that first run, the Pirates were done. Cole gave up that first run before he recorded an out. 

Doesn't this say something about the Pirates hitters as well? If Cole gives up one run and the Pirates have lost, is it really his fault the Pirates lost because he gave up a run? 

Another postseason blacked-out crowd would have been better off had Cole never stepped onto the mound. Or if ceremonial first-pitcher Bob Walk had stayed on the mound. 

Walk's career postseason record: 1-4, 4.50 ERA, 1.143 WHIP.

Cole's career postseason record: 1-2, 3.94 ERA, 0.875 WHIP.

Seems like Walk wasn't exactly much better than Cole has been in the postseason.

Aces flip the switch. Aces don't flip out.

Cole isn't an ace. He's the Pirates' best starting pitcher. 

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH! Tough burn there. Gerrit Cole is only the best pitcher on a team of elite baseball players. That must suck.

There is a big difference. 

A huge difference. The difference being a pitcher isn't considered an ace until he wins a big game and the media anoints him an "ace." Cole was 19-8 this season with 208 innings over 32 starts with a 1.091 WHIP, 2.66 ERA and ERA+ of 148. I don't know, I think I would consider that to be an ace. 

Had the Pirates an ace, they might have played more baseball each of these last three Octobers.

An ace, St. Louis' Adam Wainwright, took them out two years ago.

An ace, San Francisco's Madison Bumgarner, took them out last year.

An ace, Chicago's Jake Arrieta, just took them out again. 

I'm guessing that Rob Rossi knows baseball is a team game. What's funny is the second article I post here from Rossi is where he tears into the Pirates batting lineup for not scoring enough runs in the postseason. So it's Cole's fault that Wainwright, Bumgarner and Arrieta have shut the Pirates out in the postseason over the last three years? The Pirates keep running into really hot pitchers who are able to shut them out. But again, it's more simple to blame Gerrit Cole AND blame the Pirates batting lineup in separate articles. That way no reader gets confused and may think pushing blame on to one person is ridiculous and sees through Rossi's act. His "act" being that he individually blames Gerrit Cole for the Pirates loss in the one game Wild Card playoff, while also blaming the Pirates batting lineup for not scoring enough runs. He has to separate them out so it's harder to see the idiocy of individually blaming Cole.

The Pirates have scored one run in their past three postseason games. Two of those were wild-card contests. The other was on the road in a decisive Game 5 of the division series. 

And of course, this is probably Gerrit Cole's fault too. How come Gerrit Cole can't pitch every playoff game and throw a shutout in every game? He's not an ace if he can't do this. 

Top-end talent is what plays when a season is on the line, and the Pirates aren't competitive at postseason baseball's most important position. 

Which for the purposes of this column is starting pitching. In his next column, Rossi will claim the most important position in baseball is first base, which is why he advocates for the Pirates to trade for a power-hitting first baseman so they can finally win a playoff series and get to the World Series. What's important for the Pirates to succeed will change depending on the point Rossi wants to prove. 

That would be starting pitching.

The Giants.

The Cardinals.

The Dodgers.

The Cubs.

Those clubs can throw aces. Right now. 

Well, the Giants can't throw aces right now because they aren't in the playoffs. Regardless if the Pirates can throw a string of Hall of Famers at opposing teams or a string of pitchers who haven't pitched above Triple-A, it doesn't matter as long as the Pirates offense can't score runs. 

Cole might become one. Cole probably will become one.

Rob Rossi earlier in this column: 

Aces flip the switch. Aces don't flip out.

Cole isn't an ace.

So what's the suggestion by Rossi to fix this? Gerrit Cole isn't an ace, but will probably become one. So he's not good enough for the Pirates right now? What if he turns into an ace next year, you know, since he's probably going to end up being an ace and all? Will he be good enough for the Pirates at that point?

The ridiculousness of saying Cole is not an ace, so the Pirates need to find an ace so they can win a playoff series and then writing, "Cole will probably become an ace" can not be understated. It's a poorly-thought out and constructed column designed only to get a reaction. In that aspect, Rob Rossi has had great success.

He's 25 and has pitched fewer than three full seasons.

He'll be great. 

Great or just the Pirates best pitcher? Because THERE'S A DIFFERENCE!

He just might not be great enough in time for the Pirates to win while Andrew McCutchen is still great. 

Oh by the way, for the purposes of this column Andrew McCutchen IS great. In the next column Rossi writes, McCutchen will no longer be great and he's a guy who needs to start delivering in the postseason. Again, Rossi takes whatever position he needs to take at that very moment without a single thought of how he contradicts himself over time. 

Or even while McCutchen is still a Pirate.

And that's a big problem. 

McCutchen is a free agent after the 2018 season. I have a feeling Cole will be considered an "ace" at that point, but what good is all of this if the Pirates can't score runs? Gerrit Cole may not have been the pitcher for the Pirates that Arrieta was for the Cubs this year, but putting blame on him for the offense's failures is ridiculous. Even if Cole had pitched a perfect nine innings the Pirates still couldn't have beaten Arrieta and the Cubs. 

Rossi then continues writing his Plaschke-esque one sentence paragraphs (perhaps Plaschke is his idol? They seem to have the same reactionary "let's make a huge issue where there isn't one" type of writing style when the local team fails) where he provides some advice to Neal Huntington about the Pirates "reboot" this offseason. Rossi is apparently bothered by the earrings that Andrew McCutchen wears and thinks he's not clutchy.

So no, it won't be easy. But this is what Huntington should do between now and next Opening Day:

• Re-sign J.A. Happ to replace A.J. Burnett as the No. 3 starter. 

Gerrit Cole isn't good enough for the Pirates, but paying up for a 33 year old starter with a career ERA of 4.13, a guy who has never thrown for more than 172 innings in a season (and did it this year in his contract year...that NEVER happens), and has a career WHIP of 1.367 is just a brilliant idea. How could re-signing a career 4th or 5th starter as the Pirates 3rd starter after he has had a career year EVER be a bad idea? There are so many red flags around J.A. Happ in my mind, but I'm not the expert that Rob Rossi is. Gerrit Cole is just the Pirates best pitcher, while J.A. Happ is a third starter. 

• Trade closer Mark Melancon to Anaheim for Hector Santiago, who can become the fourth starter. 

Who give a fuck if the Angels want to do this trade or not? Just fucking do it without the Angels approval. Get Rob Manfred on the phone to approve the trade now. 

• Remind every American League club that Pedro Alvarez's big bat is back. 

Because when requesting the Pirates find more offense, it's good to trade a player with a "big bat" that is still under team control until after the 2017 season. 

"The Pirates need more offense! Trade one of their best home run hitters!"

If only Alvarez could handle a corner infield position.

If only the National League would adopt the designated-hitter rule. 

Two straight one sentence paragraphs. It's not totally infuriating, but is definitely slightly infuriating to me. Don't write like a seven year old writes. Try writing full paragraphs.

If only Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band would get back on the road. 

A baseball sportswriters who loves Bruce Springsteen? I don't believe it at all. Can this be true? Baseball sportswriters rarely love Bruce Springsteen. 

The Pirates can't keep dancing in the dark when it comes to Alvarez. 

GET IT? IT'S A BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN SONG REFERENCE SLIPPED COVERTLY INTO A TAKE ABOUT WHAT A WORTHLESS FIELDER PEDRO ALVAREZ IS! THIS IS PROFESSIONAL SPORTSWRITING PEOPLE, PLEASE STEP BACK!

He can't field, but the light is back on when it comes to his power. 

If only there were a Journey reference in this column I could say if Alvarez goes to San Francisco and hits poorly "When the lights go down in the city and sun shines on the bay" is the time when Alvarez joined the Giants.  

An excellent home run-to-fly ball ratio (HR/FB) is at or above 20 percent. Alvarez is 22.5 percent for his career, and he was 10 percent better than that this past season. 

Well that's certainly not fluky at all. I'm sure Alvarez will continue to hit 10% better than his career average for the rest of his career. American League teams are stupid though. I'm sure they don't care about silly things like "statistics" or the idea of "regression." 

The return might not be great, but Huntington should be able to move Alvarez to an AL peer whose need is a DH. 

Again, just force an AL team to trade for him. Might as well ask Rob Manfred to force this trade through while you are on the phone with him about forcing through the Hector Santiago trade. 

Move on to the answer for the question people are starting to ask. 

"People" being defined as "Rob Rossi and select sports radio callers who are idiots." Two people ask the question and all of a sudden "people" are starting to ask questions. 

Why isn't Andrew McCutchen an MVP-caliber player in the postseason? 

Isn't this article about how the Pirates don't have good hitters in the lineup and they need to improve the pitching staff and their hitting? Well, there is your answer why McCutchen might not hit well in smaller sample sizes against better teams. McCutchen is hitting .321/.441/.357 for his career in the postseason by the way. 

No home runs.

No RBIs.

No big moments. 

He does have six at-bats in 34 plate appearances. His playoff walk rate is 17.6%, while his career walk rate (with a much larger sample of course) is 12.1%. It seems like he either has a better eye in the postseason or he's not getting a ton to hit when he comes up to the plate. 

Criticism of his underwhelming Octobers is fair, deserved and no different than what is directed at the Penguins' Sidney Crosby and the Steelers' Ben Roethlisberger. 

Sure, criticize him for his lack of power. It makes sense, but he's still getting on-base. He's just not hitting for power. 

Crosby owns a championship ring.

Roethlisberger owns two championship rings.

McCutchen owns earrings. 

It may be best to go back in time and just delete these three sentences/paragraphs (for Rob Rossi, a sentence is a paragraph apparently), because this is an embarrassment. Andrew McCutchen is by all accounts a really nice guy and Rossi has to make a snide comment about him having "earrings" as opposed to championship rings. What a joke. 

The Pirates have jumped overboard with all their “Ps.”

Pride is great.

Passion is wonderful.

Postseason is fun.

Passable is old. 

And it's all Gerrit Cole's fault! Wait, this isn't the column where Cole is getting blamed? 

(Rossi checks his notes) 

Oh yeah, it's all Andrew McCutchen's fault because he hasn't produced big moments, big hits and has earrings. Well, it's not really his fault, but for the sake of argument and the need for attention let's pretend that it is.

That last “P” word is the best adjective to describe the first basemen and cleanup hitters who have played with McCutchen. 

And this obviously has nothing to do with the Pirates scoring 1 run in their last three postseason games nor does it have anything to do with why Andrew McCutchen hasn't produced big moments. It seems that Rossi's reasoning for the Pirates struggles revolves entirely around the lineup, yet he feels the need to blame individuals because that's what gets the attention. 

As evidence, the prosecution points to the Pirates' lineup for this year's National League wild-card game.

Role player Sean Rodriguez started at first base. Free swinger Starling Marte batted fourth. 

And McCutchen only went 2-4 in the Wild Card game. If he had only hit five home runs, then the Pirates could have won the game and Gerrit Cole wouldn't be such a terrible pitcher. Cole would have gotten a win and become an ace. Andrew McCutchen is holding back Gerrit Cole's development as an ace for the Pirates. 

But, members of the jury, let's not stop at the latest wild-card lineup. 

I don't know why Rossi is doing a "fake attorney" bit, but I'm not playing along. 

In 2014, the Pirates placed Gabby Sanchez at first and Russell Martin in the cleanup spot.

In 2013, Justin Morneau filled both roles. 

Again, perhaps focus more on this and less on Cole and McCutchen's "struggles" in the postseason. It seems the reason for the Pirates not winning a playoff series can be found when looking at McCutchen's supporting cast. 

The prosecution would also like to introduce as evidence a couple of Chicago Cubs from Wednesday night: Kris Bryant, the No. 3 hitter, and behind him, first baseman Anthony Rizzo.

Why, yes, that 1-2 punch in the 3-4 holes did seem to rattle Gerrit Cole after the Cubs' leadoff hitter stole second base and scored in the first inning. 

Yes, Gerrit Cole was so rattled that in 8 plate appearances in the game Rizzo and Bryant managed to go 0-7 with a walk (and yes, I know other Pirates pitchers faced Rizzo and Bryant, but the point is Rossi is introducing these two players as evidence of what "real" #3 and #4 hitters are and they didn't hit as well as McCutchen did in the one game Wild Card playoff). I mean, Cole was scared shitless of these two players. Why can't the Pirates find a #3 hitter and #4 hitter like these two who come up big by not getting a single hit in the one game Wild Card? Instead, the Pirates are stuck with mediocre-ass Andrew McCutchen who struggles at the plate, going 2-4 in the one game Wild Card. 

“Everybody would like to have an anchor in the middle of their lineup in these type of games,” manager Clint Hurdle said Wednesday night. 

But why can't the Pirates just go find guys like this? It should be easy to do. 

They've managed to come this far without answers to two big questions that have been asked at the start, during and at the end of every season since McCutchen arrived.

Who's on first?

Who's batting fourth? 

Notice how this column went quietly from "Why can't McCutchen come up big?" to "Why aren't the players around McCutchen good enough?" Again, Rossi knows blaming McCutchen for not coming up big is a little silly, but he needs to get the attention comments about McCutchen's earrings will provide. 

Huntington has called this offseason “big.” He's underselling it.

It's huge.

Massive. Large. Mammoth. 

It all means about the same thing. They are called "synonyms" and I would think a J-school class probably discussed this at some point. Perhaps Rob Rossi was too busy checking out a classmates' earrings and was distracted during this portion of the lecture.

The Pirates could look to trade with a major league team, but all the best first basemen are going to cost at least a top prospect and probably two.

Probably. 

You are underselling it. It's potentially, perhaps even possibly. 

Huntington could always dangle Marte or Gregory Polanco. 

Oh yes, dangle the free-swinging Starling Marte. He's not good enough for the Pirates, but he's good enough to get a great first baseman back in return through a trade. 

And he should, presuming the Pirates' don't win the rights to Park. Josh Harrison can step into one of the corner outfield spots immediately. 

This is the same Josh Harrison who has slashed .284/.318/.417 with 24 home runs in 1470 at-bats during his career. In the search for a cleanup hitter, it's best to replace a guy who hit 19 home runs last year with a guy who 4 home runs last year. That'll fix everything.

The Pirates have scored two runs in their past four postseason games, all losses.

McCutchen was 1 for 15 with a walk in those games.

He needs protection behind him, not two dreamers in front of him. 

I mean, Josh Harrison could very well be that corner outfielder the Pirates are looking for. Where will he fit in the lineup? Nowhere that Rob Rossi states needs help, because he can't hit cleanup nor can he play first base, but dangle Starling Marte, lose a few home runs in the outfield and then get that great power hitting first baseman the Pirates need so badly. I mean, this great hitting first baseman would have to hit 15 more home runs than Pedro Alvarez hit last year to make up for the loss of Alvarez and Marte (replacing Marte with Harrison in the outfield, 15 home runs are left on the table and then the Pirates trade Alvarez...therefore to replace the power production of Marte and Alvarez the new first baseman would have to hit 15 more home runs than Alvarez did), but I'm sure that won't be an issue. First basemen who hit 40+ homers are easy to find, right? 

Protection is always costly.

Nobody ever regretted paying that cost, though. 

"Nobody" ever regretted paying that cost? You may want to check with the Padres before making this statement. I'm pretty sure they are one of a few teams who have regretted paying for lineup protection. 

Huntington shouldn't hesitate to invest in what remains of McCutchen's prime.

Whatever the cost, it's worth it for the Pirates finally to find that first baseman who can bat fourth. 

And then, once the Pirates find a first baseman who can bat cleanup, this means Gerrit Cole and Andrew McCutchen will no longer be useless bums. Cole will magically turn into an ace and McCutchen will start producing magic moments. It's weird how their teammates improvement will make them individually seen as better baseball players. 

Then let's see what their franchise player can do in a fourth postseason.

He'll probably just hit singles and spend his time on the bench looking online for earrings at fancy jewelry shops in the Pittsburgh area. You know how McCutchen do.

2 comments Rob Bradford Makes the Ridiculous Argument That the Red Sox Run the Risk of Being Irrelevant

Much like the idea that the NBA lottery needs to be fixed NOW, I think the idea sports teams need to stay relevant is a fiction created by sportswriters. It's something I believe mainly sportswriters worry about. Winning makes a team relevant. Some teams have a great tradition in the area where they are located and are able to stay relevant even when the team isn't consistently making the playoffs or winning titles. I would consider Boston to be one of those areas, but Rob Bradford would not. He thinks more than winning, a team needs to stay relevant, and the Red Sox have lost for almost two straight seasons. TWO! The horror! So Rob Bradford claims the Red Sox need to win games or they will be in trouble of not being seen as relevant. The same fans who stuck it out with the team for 80 years when they didn't win a World Series (okay, not the exact same fans, but you get the point) will give up on the team after two years of not winning games. This is ridiculous and the argument the Red Sox need to stay relevant, not just win games, is ridiculous as well.

John Henry had every right to say the words in February. 

"We play for championships," the Red Sox principal owner declared while greeting the media at the start of spring training.

Except the Red Sox don't look like they will win the World Series this year, so what's up with that? That's two straight years the Red Sox haven't won a World Series. Not winning a World Series at least every other year can make the fan base restless and cause them to focus on something other than the Red Sox.

That's how he should think. That's how the entire organization should think. Manager, coaches, players and front office. Every single person collecting a paycheck bearing Henry's signature. 

I'm sure they all think that way. Simply because the Red Sox aren't winning the division right now doesn't mean the organization isn't still trying to win titles.

In recent days, even media members have been championship-driven.

Yes, because it's important to get the perspective of those whose sole job is to write narratives, storylines, and criticize the Red Sox. The media thinks the Red Sox should win titles? Well, that changes everything then! The sports media in Boston is so well-known for being calm, patient and not quick to panic when things are going badly. Naturally, it means something a group of people who have unreasonable expectations for sports teams in the Boston area think the Red Sox should win more championships.

They should be playing for championships, not division titles. With a run differential of minus-48 – worst in the American League and third-worst in the majors – neither looks likely.

I don't hate to be that guy who points this out, but a team can play for championships and still not win their division in the age of the wild card. So the Red Sox can play for championships and not win the AL East. And also, if a team is playing to win the division then that doesn't mean that team isn't playing to win a championship as well. First things first. Try to win the division, then focus on trying to win a World Series title.

But here's the reality: the Red Sox organization is playing for something almost as pressing as titles. They're playing for relevance.

Winning brings relevance. Professional sports teams can be relevant without winning games. The whole "they are playing to be relevant" thing is something made up by sportswriters to try and raise the stakes when a team isn't winning. I find it to be mostly bullshit. Boston isn't Miami or Tampa Bay where they have trouble drawing fans to see the team play. 

To be clear, like Moe Greene said in The Godfather, we're talking business.

This isn't about the baseball side of things, which is so broken, there's no easy fix.

The Red Sox literally, LITERALLY, went from worst to first in the span of one season a few years ago. "The baseball side of things" can get fixed very quickly if a few things go right. When one minute there looks like no easy fix, that easy fix can suddenly just happen when pitchers start pitching well and the hitters start hitting the ball. It may not happen this year, but it could happen for the Red Sox next year. Trade in the drama for real sportswriting.

This organization will find itself at a crossroads this summer, trying to avoid the kind of ditch even a $200-plus million payroll or shock-and-awe transaction won't eliminate. If the Red Sox can't find a way to remain in contention for something -- anything – they'll be in danger of drowning in the kind of apathy their entire sport is desperately flailing to avoid.

(Yawns) The Red Sox didn't win a World Series for decades and it only galvanized the fan base. I'm not a fan of the "Boston fans are the best and all of the teams are irrevocably part of the city's DNA" crowd, but the Red Sox have a long history of support in Boston. This support won't go away due to a few losing seasons. 

Yet it's really, really hard to sell patience when four out five Septembers have left local sports fans banking solely on Bill Belichick.

Oh no! The Red Sox haven't won a World Series four of the last five seasons!

What's funny is another writer could have written this column about the Patriots last year at this time and said, "It's really hard to sell patience when every year since 2004 local sports fans haven't had a reason to expect a championship from the Patriots. Since then, it's other local sports teams that have carried the championship torch for the city, all while banking on Belichick's genius and Brady's ability to bring another Super Bowl to the city."

But that would be silly to write a column that is even somewhat self-aware whose sole intent basically doesn't boil down to the sentence, "Derp, they don't win enough titles like they should to stay relevant."

And that is why staying within striking distance, no matter what the record, is of the utmost important to this organization at this time.

I just LOL'd all over my shirt. Yes, it is important to EVERY SINGLE PROFESSIONAL SPORTS ORGANIZATION to win as many games as possible in order to make the playoffs. So I don't know why staying within striking distance of winning the division wouldn't be important to the Red Sox.

But wait a second, "staying within striking distance." Bradford is clearly talking about striking distance of winning the division, but I thought in his own words,

They should be playing for championships, not division titles.

Now all of a sudden in order to prove his point that the Red Sox need to stay relevant, it's fine to play for division titles. When trying to hold the Red Sox to some ridiculous standard earlier a division title wasn't good enough. But now that he's preaching "relevance" the division title chase is very, very important. Now the franchise that needs to be playing for championships, not division titles, should play for division titles. Because of "relevance."

They entered Monday four games out of first place, the same distance separating the second-place Angels from the AL West-leading Astros. They're two games closer to first than the feel-good Cubbies.

The Cubs are in the National League. I'm not entirely sure the point here, other than the Red Sox aren't out of the running to win the division. If that's Rob Bradford's point, then this entire column where he says there is no easy fix for the baseball side of things has contradicted this point. I guess it's too much to expect Bradford not to contradict himself when the original point he wants to make is so weak.

If John Farrell's team pulled the same 22-29 stunt on June 1 the last time it came off a last-place finish, in 2013, it would be nine games out of first. And if that's the case, the big winners are the New England Revolution and the NBA Draft. Nobody would care what continent the Red Sox ownership group was on, which wouldn't be a good thing for the owners of Liverpool's soccer team.

The Red Sox have to stay relevant, because if they don't then...well, fans aren't going to stop coming to games in future seasons...but it would be bad because ummm...I'm not sure why. The Red Sox haven't been very good before and they managed to stay relevant. Their ability to have a large payroll and a brand name team sort of helps that stay true. 

Think about how long it took for people to buy into that '13 club. In case you forgot, when it entered June 34-23 and in first place, fans remained leery

Who cares how long it took the fans to buy into that '13 club? Why in the hell does it matter? They bought in when the team was on its way to winning a World Series title. The whole "relevance is important" issue is really only something sportswriters care about. The Red Sox aren't going to have to worry about being irrelevant based on a few seasons of not making the playoffs. 

From 2003-11 when things got bad, Sox fans got doubly angry. You know why? Because the organization had convinced families and fans to invest so much time and money into the brand that it was only common sense that the highs were going to be higher, and the lows were going to be lower.

The highs can get no higher than winning the World Series. Okay, maybe winning a World Series over multiple seasons can make the highs higher. Still, Bradford's argument that the Red Sox were successful and this is why they won't be relevant when they aren't successful is shockingly weak. 

But thanks to the '13 World Series, the Red Sox found a way to rekindle interest.

Now the Red Sox find themselves facing something more crushing than watching someone else raise a championship trophy. They face apathy.

Want apathy? Let's talk about MLB teams that aren't in the Top 10 of MLB in home and road attendance. Talk to teams like Atlanta, Tampa Bay, Cleveland, Oakland and the Chicago White Sox about real fan apathy is like. But of course Rob Bradford quotes no attendance figures in here, because they don't back up his argument. So he talks in terms of "relevance," "interest," and "apathy" as if none of these terms are contained in the Red Sox attendance figures which remain in the Top 10 of the majors. When faced with facts that don't support your argument, ignore those facts. 

The car isn't turning over. And when you're talking three last-place finishes, coupled with the cost of actually attending one of these games, this could result in the kind of loss of faith a Wally on every doorstep won't immediately cure.

Rob Bradford a few paragraphs ago: "The Red Sox are only a few games out of winning their close division."

Rob Bradford now: "The Red Sox are going to be in last place again."

Keep moving the goal around so it fits the point you want to make. And by the way, those three last place finishes are surrounded by a World Series title, a 90 win season, an 89 win season, two 95 win seasons, and another World Series title. So Bradford has absolutely no point.

In Seth Mnookin's 2006 book, "Feeding the Monster," he detailed a meeting after the 2005 season in which, "one of the team's financial advisors warned that a single 85-win season could cost the organization as much as $20 to $30 million in lost ticket and advertising revenue." At the same meeting, CEO Larry Lucchino, "raised the haunting legacies of teams like Baltimore, Colorado, Cleveland, and Toronto," who won big and led the league in attendance for portions of the '90s before falling on hard times that led to diminished interest in the 2000s.

Fortunately for the Red Sox, those 85 win seasons haven't been the norm over the past decade. Also, how much does a World Series victory or playoff appearance bring in? Because those have been prevalent for the Red Sox as well. And let's be somewhat honest, the Orioles had a terrible owner everyone hated and the team didn't win, the Rockies and Blue Jays don't have near the history in the local area the Red Sox have, and the Indians' had diminishing attendance due to the team losing games and not allowing fans to get engaged with players they knew would be traded. Nowhere among those four teams is there a large market team with the massive spending ability of the Red Sox that also has a strong, historic attachment to the local area.

It seems impossible to believe the same could happen to the Red Sox, but it's an issue they worried about 10 years ago, when they were coming off a World Series and three straight 95-win seasons.

Just because the Red Sox worried about this issue doesn't mean it was a real issue to worry about. Owners and CEO's worry about shit all the time that don't become reality. I would be more persuaded if it weren't for the fact this worry from Lucchino came a decade ago. It's old evidence of a concern that didn't turn out to be a real, genuine concern when the Red Sox actually failed to win 85 games. 

They're well aware that the new newest wave of Red Sox fans are already a confused bunch, wondering who to believe after so many ups and downs. This might just be the season their minds are made up and they decide they'd rather play lacrosse than watch the Red Sox. 

Or the fans may just tune out for one season and be right back ready to cheer for the Red Sox at the beginning of the 2016 season. If fans are so fickle as to run away when the Red Sox are losing, doesn't this mean they could come right back if the Red Sox have a good start to the 2016 season? 

The clock is ticking. If the Sox remain four games out when Patriots preseason starts -- no matter what the record – then they might have dodged a bullet.

Four games out, not five games, of the division title. If the Red Sox are five games out of winning a division title when Patriots preseason starts, they will become irrelevant. This is the same division title that the franchise shouldn't be playing to achieve according to Rob Bradford. 

If things go the other way, then the Red Sox will face the most perilous moment of John Henry's ownership. Football is already king, and the NFL's signature franchise resides 35 miles away in Foxboro. Good luck taking eyeballs away from the defending Super Bowl champs.

Could he be more dramatic about all of this? Good luck to any MLB franchise taking eyeballs away from the football team in the area (excepting a few MLB teams). Football is king in most cities. This may sound shocking, because it's only happened for as long as the Patriots and Red Sox have existed, but fans of the Red Sox and the Patriots can pay attention to both teams at the same time. Yes, it's true. This isn't an "either/or" proposition. If the Red Sox stink for one season then that doesn't mean the team will be irrelevant. This is a ridiculous argument for why the Red Sox are on the threshold of not becoming relevant. 

The days are dire for the Red Sox, not just on the field, but in a much broader sense. They're fighting to remain relevant, and right now, they're losing.

In a broader sense, the argument for "relevance" is a losing argument. Fans care about winning and winning helps fans get engaged with the team. A team like the Red Sox that has such a vast history with the local area isn't going to have worry about relevance when not having success over a 2-3 year span. Cut the drama just for the purposes of pageviews.

7 comments MMQB Review: Peter King Thinks "JFF" Stands for "Johnny F--king Failure"

Don't ask why I curse all the time in my posts but won't curse in my titles. I don't know. 

Peter King wondered last week if J.J. Watt could be the NFL MVP since he plays defense AND is on a team that may not make the playoffs. Everyone knows if you play defense on a losing team there is no way you can be the most valuable player in the NFL. It's impossible. Peter also started what I am assuming will be at least monthly assault on Jadeveon Clowney for underperforming during his rookie season due to injuries, though I don't recall Peter going at Luke Joeckel for playing in only five games in his rookie season with the Jaguars. This week Peter talks about how the type of dramatic, unpredictable football games can only happen in the NFL, talks about the winners and losers from this past week, and haughtily recommends the best wine under $25. It's funny, 97% of the wine purchased is for $10 or less and Peter recommends the best wine under $25, like that's the cheap wine that he wants to recommend to his readers. Ah yes, how the other half lives.

The Season That Went Too Fast
 
A Pro Football Book in Twenty-One Chapters

Chapter Fifteen
 
“Only in AMERICA!” Don King used to bellow, and some story about a long-shot palooka who toiled his way from Loserville to Las Vegas and into a championship fight would spill out of King’s mouth, the drama making it Must-Pay TV. Or so the legendary boxing promoter hoped.

Every single season football writers talk about what a WILD AND CRAZY SEASON THIS HAS BEEN, as if this doesn't happen every season. The NFL is unpredictable and every season is crazy in it's own way. Talking about how this season is an "Only in the NFL!" season is pretty standard. Craziness and unpredictability is the standard. So I do wish sportswriters would stop being surprised when unexpected things happen.

Weren’t we all thinking a few days ago that the road to the Super Bowl in the NFC would lead through Green Bay?

Nope. I had Seattle and Philadelphia as the two best teams in the NFC during the preseason and wasn't moving from that simply because a new and shiny team caught my attention. Life is really very simple when not making knee-jerk reactions.

I asked a friend of mine who gambles a lot: If Seattle and Green Bay met in the playoffs, with neither team changing appreciably between now and then, what would be the difference in the spread if the game were played at CenturyLink Field in Seattle versus Lambeau Field in Green Bay. He thought for a minute, then said: “Packers by five at Lambeau. Seahawks by seven in Seattle.”

I don't gamble, but that spread in Seattle seems high, even knowing the Seahawks beat the Packers handily at home in the first game of the season.

And this is why every chapter in The Season That Went Too Fast has some Grisham in it, 
 
By "some Grisham" Peter means "going to bat for pedophiles who like child porn"?

some element you never, ever expected:

Every NFL season has an element "we" would never expect. Every season.

Buffalo 21, Green Bay 13. Marcus Thigpen and Bacarri Rambo, men no one in Wisconsin had heard of at noon Sunday, playing the big roles in sending the Packers trudging back to the Tundra.

Considering Thigpen went to Indiana University, I think fans in Wisconsin probably have heard of him. But of course, if the great Peter King hasn't heard of these players then obviously no one else has either.

Seattle 17, San Francisco 7. Which figured. So now it could be setting up for the playoff road to go through Seattle.

Predictability would be different.

Only in the NFL!

Let's marvel every NFL season at how unpredictable the NFL season is!

Week 15 winners
 
Detroit. Another day, another dogfight for a confusing offense, another win (Lions 16, Vikes 14). The Lions have been held under 275 yards four times in the past 10 games. But they’ve survived, and they’ll be in the playoffs with two more wins.

I bashed the Lions' hiring of Jim Caldwell and I really don't know if I'm wrong. Next season at this time I think I will know if I'm wrong or not. Two seasons under Caldwell should be a decent way of determining if I was wrong about him. Considering the Lions haven't been an offensive juggernaut this year at times, I feel pretty good about my initial feeling on Caldwell. Of course, he does have meals with his players, so that counts for something.

Dallas. Imagine if the Cowboys lost at Philadelphia.

I can't imagine this. The results are too terrible for the human mind to wrap itself around.

The loser of the NFC East showdown for first place would face a serious chance of not making the playoffs. Jerry Jones hasn’t re-signed coach Jason Garrett yet, and with Indianapolis and Andrew Luck coming to town this week, finishing 10-6 and out of the playoffs would have been a real possibility. (It’s still no lock Dallas will make it, because finishing tied with Philadelphia at 11-5 would give the division to the Eagles on the basis of Philadelphia’s better division record.) It’s highly likely Garrett will continue—Jones loves him and thinks he’s got the perfect temperament to be the long-term coach—but another crushing loss in a division title game for the fourth year in a row would have left ownership grasping for answers. Would Jones have considered a run at a Sean Payton or a John Harbaugh? 

Sean Payton, yes? John Harbaugh? I'm pretty sure the Ravens aren't letting Harbaugh go after the season. Though if Peter has heard there will be shakeups on the Ravens' roster, and much like he thought they wouldn't re-sign Joe Flacco two years ago, this leads him to think the Ravens will get rid of John Harbaugh.

Now Jim Harbaugh? Yes, do it. I want to see Jerry Jones work with Jim Harbaugh. This has to happen.

Doubtful, but the 38-27 win, Garrett’s biggest in his five-year tenure,

Not that Peter is being knee-jerk of course.

The AFC North. “This is the craziest division I have ever seen,” Terrell Suggs said from Baltimore Sunday.

(Bengoodfella dies of hyperbole-related symptoms)

Carolina. Derek Anderson is 2-0 against Tampa Bay this year, and that’s what has Carolina in first place in the NFC South at 5-8-1.

Skinniest kids at fat camp, people! In your face rest of the NFC South!

New Orleans re-takes first in the moribund division with a win at Chicago tonight (hardly the surest thing),

And they did.

Who will quarterback Carolina against Cleveland at home, then in the finale at Atlanta?

I DON'T KNOW! I CAN'T HANDLE THE DRAMA!

There are two options, either Cam Newton or Derek Anderson, but who knows what will happen? The NFL is SO unpredictable. It could be Steve Beuerlein! The point is, Peter doesn't know right now! It's too early to tell.

Marcus Mariota. The Jets won, meaning he doesn’t have to think of going to the vortex of pain and tabloid embarrassment that has eaten alive so many young quarterbacks. And the Bucs lost, meaning Tampa Bay is number one in line for Mariota, the Heisman winner and by far safest quarterback prospect.

Peter King, NFL Draft Scout M.D.

No one is saying it’s a cinch, but Tampa Bay—with two very good receivers, a good young tight end, a smart front office and a stay-the-course coach in Lovie Smith—gives a young quarterback as good a chance as anywhere to be able to reach his potential.

Greg Schiano would have had the Buccaneers in the Super Bowl this season if it weren't for that meddling Josh Freeman who screwed everything up.

Week 15 Losers

Green Bay. One ugly afternoon took the Packers from the two seed in the NFC to six. And it won’t be easy to get back up there. Wins in the next two games would do it, but beating Detroit at home in Week 17 means beating the team that has beaten you by 30 and 12 in your last two meetings. That last game could leave Green Bay battered, without a bye and on the road for the playoffs.

Which is the exact road they used to win the Super Bowl several years ago. Wait, am I not supposed to talk about real life and instead go into a panic about what terrible shape the Packers could be in? Gotcha.

THE PACKERS LOST! HOW WILL THEY EVER RECOVER? WHAT IF THEY HAVE TO GO ON THE ROAD IN THE PLAYOFFS? THEY'LL NEVER WIN A SUPER BOWL THAT WAY! EVERYBODY STAY CALM AND PANIC!

It's like Peter can't remember what happened just a few short years ago. Sure, the Packers want homefield advantage, but it's not like they haven't won a Super Bowl by winning on the road in the playoffs.

In all likelihood, Green Bay making the Super Bowl now depends on winning the last two and then winning at an unfriendly place like Seattle or Arizona for all the NFC marbles.

They have Aaron Rodgers. I'm not worried.

Joe Philbin. His Dolphins collapsed down the stretch last year, scoring seven points total in season-ending losses to the Bills and Jets. This year Miami has lost three of the last four, including Sunday’s no-show 41-13 loss at New England that gave the Patriots the AFC East title, again. Miami’s playoff hopes are on life support at 7-7, a month after being in the hunt at 6-4. Now the drumbeat will grow louder that owner Stephen Ross will go hard

That's disgusting Peter. This is a family column.

after Jim Harbaugh again, and is there any doubt he’d pay the compensation to San Francisco to get Harbaugh?

Oh, nevermind. Much like Peter shouldn't make knee-jerk reactions after one game, I should finish the sentence that Peter has written.

Hey, since the Cowboys may go after John Harbaugh, perhaps the Dolphins should give him a look-see too. Or the Dolphins could just go after the one that got away a few years ago, Jeff Fisher.

Johnny Manziel and hope in Cleveland. All along, Manziel held out the prospect of the big surprise, the quarterback to ride in on the steed to save the franchise. Now everyone in Cleveland is thinking, “We should have listened to Merril Hoge.” 

Manziel may be terrible, but give the guy more than one start to prove it. Geez, what's with the knee-jerk reactions and overreactions in MMQB over this past year? Maybe Peter always wrote like this and I just forgot, but he's got a severe case of overreacting this season. A team has a good/bad game and Peter either puts that team in the Super Bowl or as receiving a Top 10 pick. Give Manziel another few starts and an entire another offseason of work in the Browns' offense.

Pettine was heartbroken, which I am sure mirrored the emotion of his city. It’s another wait-till-next-year situation in Cleveland, and a cautionary tale for Manziel: Get to work. Nothing is going to be handed to you. Become a student of the game. It’s too early to write Manziel off. (Really? One game is too soon?)

Peter, you say one game is too early to write Manziel off, but you also just wrote "Now everyone in Cleveland is thinking, 'We should have listened to Merril Hoge.'" Manziel may be terrible, but one game isn't going to be the determination and saying "hope" in Cleveland is the loser in this situation is beginning to write Manziel off too early.

There will at least be a Manning-Brady XVII.

Oh thank God. I can put off jumping into a volcano for another year because I have something to live for now.

The Seattle Effect. “It’ll be interesting to see how Philadelphia comes out of the Seattle game physically,’’ said one Dallas Cowboy last week, before his team’s trip to Philadelphia for the Sunday night game. This player remembered how physically spent the Cowboys were after playing Settle earlier in the year,

I need an editor here, STAT!

The Eagles are the eighth team in a row to lose the week after playing Seattle; Philadelphia, San Francisco, Arizona, Kansas City, the New York Giants, Oakland, Carolina and St. Louis all lost the week after playing the Seahawks.

Gregg Easterbrook is totally stealing this fact for the next TMQ.

Why players want to play for Bruce Arians. The Arizona coach said this to Ryan Lindley, the backup to the backup, when No. 2 quarterback Drew Stanton went down with a knee injury Thursday night at St. Louis: “I trust you. Don’t be a game manager. Be a game winner.” Lindley didn’t play particularly well—he completed four of 10 passes in the 12-6 Arizona win—but a win’s a win,

Which is what is said when a team wins a game despite having shitty quarterback play. Yes, I'm still hating on the Cardinals' quarterback situation. Sportswriters always have to have a narrative or reason handy for why a team won and when they have no idea (it was the Cardinals' defense) they just chalk it up to nothing. A win is a win and let's give credit for Ryan Lindley for not fucking it up.

With Stanton likely out for this week and two or three more with strained knee ligaments, the Cardinals seem likely to go with Lindley, and maybe with a package of plays for the rookie quarterback who is more mobile, Logan Thomas. “We’ll figure something out,’’ said Arians. “We’ll just keep on swinging, scratching out points.” Worked pretty well so far.

But can the Cardinals win a Super Bowl with Ryan Lindley and Logan Thomas? That's all I want to know. Someone ask Bruce Arians this question.

Not a great week for the top candidates, but I’m not changing much from last week—just subbing Andrew Luck for DeMarco Murray.
 
1. Aaron Rodgers, QB, Green Bay. First mulligan since Week 3 at Detroit. I’m sticking with the best player in football as the most valuable.
 
2. J.J. Watt, DE, Houston. Now with 16.5 sacks, five in the past two weeks. Just unstoppable.

J.J. Watt will never be #1 in Peter's MVP standings. Even after last week when Peter tried to lay out a reason why Watt could win MVP, Peter lacks the intestinal fortitude to actually put Watt as his MVP. It's a bold cowardice. He gives Watt a ribbon by putting him #2, but I'll be shocked, shocked, shocked if Watt ever ends up #1 by the end of the season in Peter's MVP rankings. You know what, the Cardinals will win the Super Bowl with Drew Stanton as their quarterback before Peter King has J.J. Watt as his MVP.

Chris Harris Jr.: The Player You Need to Know This Week

Harris, who quietly has become one of the best cornerbacks in football, signed a five-year, $42.5-million contract with the Broncos late Friday,

Thank God I have been alerted to Chris Harris Jr. this week. I personally don't know any NFL players until Peter acknowledges their existence to me.

Year	LCB	RCB	Slot CB	Safety	Total snaps	Pro Football Focus CB rank
2011	41	14	463	54	572	19
2012	137	149	610	121	1,017	4
2013	252	80	642	112	1,086	10
2014	24	439	309	61	833	1
TOTAL	454	682	2,024	348	3,508	2

What makes the contract, and Harris’ play this season, all the more impressive is that eight months before opening day this fall, he wrecked his knee. In the divisional playoff game against San Diego, Harris tore the ACL in his left knee. Amazingly, 31 weeks after the Feb. 6 surgery, he suited up and played 39 of 76 snaps in the Denver season-opener. By October, he was an every-down player again.

It's amazing how medical advances have helped the human body recover so quickly from ACL tears isn't it? I say this with the slightest bit of sarcasm along with absolute zero knowledge of medicine and whether it is possible for the human body to recover from an injury in 8 months that used to take 12 months to recover from.

Getting a young cover corner for his prime seasons, and having him locked up through 2019 is a smart move by Elway. For Harris, a veteran of one knee surgery already, he gets less than he could have gotten had he ever hit the market in March … but he gets to play without worry of injury the rest of this year, and he gets to stay in Denver, where the defense fits him. 

Coming off an ACL surgery, I would personally have taken the contract. Maybe I'm not bold enough, but after having rehabbed a major knee injury, I think I'd want to get paid now just in case it happens again.

Four points to make in the wake of the new Personal Conduct Policy, the denial of the Adrian Peterson appeal, the future of football in Los Angeles, and the relationship between the players and owners:

The league hopes to hire what it is calling a special counsel for investigations and conduct to lord over the process of this new personal conduct policy. This person, likely a former judge, former prosecutor or former top law-enforcement official, will have a staff to judge early on whether a player should be taken off the field while an investigation is happening. But the process will still be fraught with difficulty. There will be false accusations, stale accusations, accusations not made that should have been made because of threats against spouses or partners. What happens during the season when a potentially serious accusation is made, and the special counsel has to decide if the player should be taken off the field immediately or allowed to play in a game that week?

It's a decent point from Peter. I think this special counsel will just err on the side of caution and remove the player from the field. These are the types of things that happen when over-correction occurs. Goodell wants to prove he cares, so he sets up a labyrinth system of checks to make sure players don't play while being accused of a crime as proof of his caring. All he's doing is taking the burden off him and placing it on someone else. That's my view.

I think Adrian Peterson should have been reinstated. When the arbitrator in the Peterson case, Harold Henderson, issued his ruling upholding Peterson’s ban Friday, a few things were given short shrift. Before this season, the suspension for domestic or family violence was never longer than two games and most often a fine or one game. Peterson is 29 years old. He will miss at least 15 games (with most of them treated as paid leave), and those are games he can never get back. He’s not like a 29-year-old teacher who can miss three months and get right back to teaching.

Yes, poor Adrian Peterson. How's he expected to make enough money to survive if he can't play football? I get that Peterson's penalty is probably too severe, but to compare Peterson to a teacher like he doesn't have enough money earned over his career to retire right now is just typical Peter King-type thinking. Yes, a teacher can get right back to teaching, but Adrian Peterson has to work hard and maybe he'll catch on with an NFL team. If this doesn't happen then he'll just go about his life with enough money to go about his life and not have to worry about working. You know, the exact opposite of what would happen to a 29 year old teacher.

It strikes me as excessive. Now: Peterson didn’t do himself any favors. He should have pled his case in the appeals process if he truly wanted to play this year. I still don’t understand why he didn’t.

Probably the same reason he beat the shit out of his kid with a switch after suffering the death of a child from a beating last season.

Regarding Los Angeles… “There’s a schism about what to do in Los Angeles,’’ said one source with knowledge of L.A. effort. “The big issue is not only whether it should be one or two teams, and where the team or teams will be, but also which franchise should get the first shot? There is sentiment that [Rams owner] Stan Kroenke shouldn’t have the first shot. The Raiders are in horrible shape. The Chargers have a terrible stadium. In St. Louis, the city is trying at least to find a solution.”

I think there should be a television show where these three teams compete to play in Los Angeles. They can each argue about how badly they are being treated by their respective cities and then a winner will be chosen by the viewing public. I like how because the Raiders are in terrible shape, this means they should get one of the first shots at playing in Los Angeles.

THE FINE FIFTEEN

1. New England (11-3). Dominating performance puts them first. Winners of nine of 10, with the narrow loss at Green Bay the only blemish. Sign of a Ridiculously Good Franchise Dept.: The Patriots won their 11th AFC East title in the past 12 seasons on Sunday.

Is the Patriot Way still working? Once the Patriots lose another football game or in the playoffs, I can't wait for this question to get asked once again.

3. Green Bay (10-4). Not to rain on the Super Bowl parade or anything, but that was the first grim performance by Aaron Rodgers in, like, forever.

So, like, that obviously means it's a sign of things to come and not an anomaly, right? Aaron Rodgers had a grim performance so that must mean the rest of his performances will be equally as grim this season. Logically.

At all. Green Bay at Tampa Bay on Sunday. Rodgers has played there twice, in 2008 and 2009. Lost twice. Completed 50 percent of his throws in the two games, with four touchdowns and six picks, and a 54.6 rating at the Pirate Ship.

And I'm sure it's the stadium and not the team that was the issue for Rodgers when he played there five and six seasons ago. Because the Buccaneers current defense directly resembles the defense they had in 2008 and 2009.

7. Detroit (10-4). Another touchdown catch for Golden Tate in the 16-14 win over Minnesota. Tate has been a total surprise. He’s going to end up with 100 receptions. (He has 91 now.) Imagine this: Tate has more catches per game, on average (6.5), than Calvin Johnson (5.6)—and that accounts for Johnson missing three games with injury. Divide Johnson’s 61 catches by 11, and Tate’s 91 catches by 14, and Tate’s been more productive per game.

Thank you for teaching your readers how to do basic division in order to get an average, Peter. God knows most of America would be lost if you weren't here to provide statistics and then explain how you arrived at those statistics. I know I read that Tate had more catches per game than Johnson on average and was all like, "HOW ON EARTH DID THIS NUMBERS WIZARD MAKE THESE MEANINGFUL STATISTICS POPULATE AS IF OUT OF THIN AIR?" Then Peter explained how to divide and it made complete sense to me.

9. Philadelphia (9-5). Bradley Cooper sure looked sad sitting in Jeffrey Lurie’s box, his beloved Philadelphia Silverliningplaybooks down 21-7 to the Cowboys in the second quarter. Cooper was dancing in the second half, but Mark Sanchez just couldn’t make enough plays to win this one.

Am I reading "US Weekly for Teens" now?

"Bradley Cooper was sad because the Eagles were losing. Spies for 'US Weekly for Teens' say that Cooper danced at one point during the game, but Hayden Panettiere's ex-boyfriend just couldn't pull the Eagles through and keep Cooper dancing. Observers said that Cooper looked to be having a good time and took pictures with fans."

10. Cincinnati (9-4-1). No idea how I rate the Bengals two slots higher than Pittsburgh, which beat Cincinnati by 21 in Ohio last week. It’s just about a week-to-week coin flip right now.

Peter King's Fine Fifteen rankings everyone! They mean nothing, but Peter still feels the need to write them every week. This column isn't going to bloat itself you know.

14. Kansas City (8-6). Broke a three-game skid with a rout of the Raiders. One of the strangest stats in recent history—a team can be 8-6 in this era of football with no touchdowns caught by a wideout—has surprisingly not crippled the Chiefs, though Dwayne Bowe’s ho-hum season is a major surprise.

Bowe's ho-hum season is a surprise with a quarterback who can't throw a touchdown to a receiver as the one tossing him the pigskin? Otherwise, is Bowe's season a surprise? He hasn't exceeded 1,000 yards receiving since 2011.

Coaches of the Week

Bruce Arians, head coach, Arizona. Not to make these awards a clean Cardinal sweep, but to have the Arizona Cardinals tied for the best record in the NFL after 15 weeks, with Drew Stanton and Ryan Lindley playing quarterback, and hanging in to beat a St. Louis team that had won the previous two games by shutout … well, you can see why Arians is so revered inside the Cardinals’ building and outside the building by a growing legion of fans.

Coach of the Year should be Arians' for the taking. Of course I have to piss on this win a little bit. The Cardinals only had 274 yards of offense and the Rams didn't exactly light up the scoreboard either. Six of the points the Cardinals scored were the result of a fumble by the Rams and a 36-yard pass interference call that put the Cardinals right in field goal range. I'm not taking anything away from them, but the Cardinals had to settle for field goals all night. I'm very worried about them in the playoffs if they don't score touchdowns.

My point is that the Cardinals are averaging 12.8 points and 289 yards per game (If I were Peter King, I would explain to you how I got an average) in the five games since Carson Palmer went down for the season. The 289 yards per game would put the Cardinals at 31st in the NFL in total offense, just above the Raiders, and 12.8 points per game would put them 32nd in the NFL in scoring per game. That's not going to win a Super Bowl, especially with a banged-up defense. Arians deserves Coach of the Year, but the Cardinals are in deep shit if they can't muster up more offense.

Goat of the Week

Johnny Manziel, quarterback, Cleveland.

I'm not going to defend Manziel's performance, but this seems a little unfair. It was his first start in the NFL and he went against a reasonably good Bengals defense. Calling him a "goat" seems like the type of knee-jerk conclusion that Peter warns his readers against reaching.

First time in memory I had Goat of the Week locked at 2:23 p.m. Eastern Time. 

Remember this is the same guy who wrote it was too early to write Manziel off. It took Peter less than an hour and a half into the Week 15 games to decide who the "Goat of the Week" will be.

This game showed many things, among them that Manziel had better start spending a lot more time studying his craft. The entire game had the feel of fool’s gold, with the Browns, for the moment, feeling fooled by Manziel in his first NFL start. He was 10 of 18 for 80 yards, with no touchdowns and two picks, a 27.3 rating … with just 13 yards rushing on five scrambles. An awful opener for the 22nd pick in the 2014 draft.

Of course if the Browns had won the game then "a win is a win" and Manziel would be praised for doing something right. It doesn't matter really. It was one game and there is a reason the Browns didn't have Manziel start the season at quarterback.

For the Baltimore Ravens to be 9-5 this morning, and for the franchise to be in position to win its third AFC North title in four years, is a pretty amazing thing, considering 17 of the 22 starters from the team that won the Super Bowl 22 months ago are new.

I'm still laughing at the "changes" being alluded to by the Ravens organization after winning the Super Bowl which Peter took to believe the Ravens may not be interested in re-signing Joe Flacco. I think everyone except Peter knew this meant the team would part ways with older players and start over at several positions on the roster. But now, Peter is all like, "LOOK AT HOW THE RAVENS TURNED THEIR ROSTER OVER!" as if this weren't the plan the Ravens had all along. Kudos to the Ravens for making it work so far, but I still chuckle a bit at Peter's misunderstanding of what these changes and difficult decisions really meant.

Super Bowl XLVII Starters		2014 Week 14 Starters
	OFFENSE
Torrey Smith	WR	Torrey Smith
Anquan Boldin	WR	Marlon Brown
Jacoby Jones	WR	Steve Smith
Bryant McKinnie	T	Eugene Monroe
Kelechi Osemele	G	Kelechi Osemele
Matt Birk	C	Jeremy Zuttah
Marshal Yanda	G	Marshal Yanda
Michael Oher	T	Rick Wagner
Joe Flacco	QB	Joe Flacco
Ray Rice	RB	Justin Forsett
Vonta Leach	FB/TE	Owen Daniels
	DEFENSE
Terrell Suggs	Rusher	Terrell Suggs
Haloti Ngata	DL	Elvis Dumervil
Arthur Jones	DL	Chris Canty
Ma’ake Kemoeatu	DL	Brandon Williams
Dannell Ellerbe	LB	C.J. Mosley
Ray Lewis	LB	Daryl Smith
Courtney Upshaw	LB/S	Jeromy Miles
Corey Graham	CB	Asa Jackson
Cary Williams	CB	Lardarius Webb
Ed Reed	FS	Will Hill
Bernard Pollard	SS	Matt Elam

The Ravens saw a chance with the retirement of veterans like Ray Lewis and the pending free agency of Ed Reed to remake the team. They have done a really good job so far. But still, I chuckle at what Peter thought the remaking of the Ravens' roster meant.

Rambo has out-Ramboed Rambo
— Sam Farmer (@LATimesfarmer) December 14, 2014

I don't know why Peter felt this should be considered a "Tweet of the Week." It doesn't make sense, because Rambo is a fictional ex-Vietnam vet who killed people in movies trying to save others, while Bacarri Rambo is a football player. It just doesn't make sense AND seems to lack a little funny.

TEN THINGS I THINK I THINK

1. I think this is what I liked about Week 15:

b. Detroit safety Glover Quin, the Pro Bowl protester, with a vital interception of Teddy Bridgewater.

c. And a beautiful interception by Darius Slay, also off Bridgewater.

Mike Mayock was right! Teddy Bridgewater just absolutely sucks.

f. Eight sacks by the Ravens. Timmy Jernigan, Pernell McPhee … you have officially been introduced to America.

Yep, I knew who they were prior to this introduction when they were attending Mississippi State and Florida State. But now that Peter has mentioned them and helped introduce them to America, I guess they officially now exist.

s. Josh McCown making it a game, late, in Carolina.

I don't understand what this means. Tampa Bay scored 10 points in the first half and 7 in the second half. I guess that Peter likes how Josh McCown ran the final drive of the game for the Buccaneers when Carolina was happy to watch the Buccaneers eat clock up while trying to score. If anything, Peter should like McCown's scrambling ability for the touchdown. Maybe THAT is what Peter is referring to here.

2. I think this is what I didn’t like about Week 15:

a. Johnny Football.

You don't say? Why hasn't Peter mentioned this in MMQB before now?

i. For his talent, Andrew Luck makes some dumb throws.

Skip Bayless wants to know why Peter King is putting Andrew Luck in the Hall of Fame already? Because one time in a bowl game, Brandon Weeden played as well as Andrew Luck did. So there's that and it definitely means something.

Nobody is supposed to talk about Andrew Luck making dumb throws. It's against the rules, plus he has 38 touchdown passes this year, so that sort of overshadows the bad throws.

l. Here’s the deal, Bucs: You put either the entire throwback uniform on, or the modern one. You can’t mix them. Orange socks do not go with a red and white uniform.

Peter King, Fashion Maven M.D.

3. I think I have a difficult question for you in the Bay Area to answer this morning: Which 36^th overall pick in the draft would you rather build your franchise around: Colin Kaepernick (2011) or Derek Carr (2014)? I think there would have been no question about that in August. Slam dunk. But with Kaepernick’s maturation as a player put in serious questions this season, now it’s a contest.

I wonder how Ron Jaworski feels about Colin Kaepernick now? I'm not sure I wouldn't choose Kaepernick to be the quarterback I build the franchise around. I will have to see more about David Carr. That's the fun part about questions like this. They can change from year-to-year...or month-to-month as the case may be with Peter.

4. I think when we hear about knee surgeries, we just assume that players go in and have the surgery done and in seven or eight months they’ll be as good as new...As concerning, or more so, is the microfracture surgery for Houston rookie pass-rusher Jadeveon Clowney. Microfracture is no slam-dunk, especially for a speed rusher.

I'm telling you, Jadeveon Clowney is well on his way to being Josh Freeman'd by Peter King. It's starting already. He's calling Clowney a "speed rusher" and is preparing for him to never be the same again after microfracture surgery.

Indianapolis tackle Gosder Cherilus, who has had the surgery, told the Indianapolis Star of Clowney: “He’s screwed. His game is all about explosion. That’s a problem. I’m out there dancing. I’m an offensive lineman. That’s a different ballgame. He’s screwed. I’m just being honest.” The Texans have to be concerned about whether Clowney can come back to be the same player, regardless what they say publicly.

No Peter, I bet the Texans aren't concerned at all about their top pick needing major knee surgery. They probably are laughing about it right now and making jokes to each other about the situation.

Peter is getting ready for Clowney to be a bust as the #1 overall draft pick. I can feel it in my bones.

9. I think this is why the crown-of-the-helmet-into-Russell Wilson was called Sunday, giving the Seahawks a fresh set of downs at a critical time late in their win over the Niners: Prohibited contact against a defenseless player, which includes a player in the act of passing or just after releasing a pass, came into play on this call. Wilson, in this case, was a defenseless player.

I don't know. The NFL does a lot to protect quarterbacks and I get the point, but sometimes it annoys me. Derek Anderson got a hand to the facemask on Sunday and a penalty was called. He was hit in the face, but it certainly didn't seem like it hurt or put his health in danger. So in the situation Peter is describing, it seemed pretty close to a penalty on the 49ers defender, but it's nearly impossible to tell for sure.

According to strict interpretation of the rules: “Lowering the head and making forcible contact with the top/crown or forehead/”hairline” parts of the helmet against any part of the defenseless player’s body” is illegal. The officials ruled Wilson was struck with the helmet either at the hairline or crown level. It’s close, very close. I watched the replay at least 10 times and it’s hard to tell if the helmet was in the right position or not.

Maybe the NFL should make penalties like this reviewable since it had an impact on the game. Hell, just make everything reviewable.

10. I think these are my non-NFL thoughts of the week:

g. Re the SONY hack: I have changed my email password six times in the last week. And I believe it doesn’t matter.

Wouldn't it be fun to read emails that are leaked from Peter King's inbox? I'm sure there is some haughty and uppity shit that he leaves out of MMQB, but he shared with friends and family. I imagine Peter has some email screeds about people who take too long to order at Starbucks or wonder why everyone slows down to look at Christmas lights. Those leaked emails would be interesting to read. I wonder how many he gets from Brett Favre in a given month?

h. Really bright to skip your team’s fan festival, Bryce Harper, because of a contract dispute. That scores lots of points with fans.

Welp, he got a two year contract extension and they love him again.

i. The Sports Illustrated Sportsman of the Year event last Tuesday was memorable.

Naming Madison Bumgarner "Sports Illustrated Sportsman of the Year" is a very "Sports Illustrated" thing for them to do.

k. Coffeenerdness: Here’s what I don’t get when I bring my reusable grande cup into Starbucks and ask for a triple grande macchiato:

Seriously, imagine the shit that Peter King writes which he doesn't share with the general public. It probably makes inconsequential bitching like what you are about to read look like a major conflict that must immediately be resolved.

Most baristas take a small cup, brew the three shots of espresso, pour them on top of the foamed milk, then throw the little cup away. Not using the normal espresso shot glasses sort of defeats the purpose of using the same grande cup over and over, right?

Yes, it might defeat the purpose. Wouldn't the barista have to constantly wash the espresso shot glasses over and over after using them though? Wouldn't this require wasting water to do AND it could also cause there to be a backup during peak times because Starbucks doesn't have a hundred espresso shot glasses they can use for this purpose?

I think Peter should take this issue up with Starbucks. I'm sure they will put it at the top of their priority list.

l. Beernerdness: Don’t have a new beer for you this week, but I will throw in my vote for the best $25-or-under Cabernet Sauvignon out there: Simi Alexander Valley Cab.

The best $25-or-under Cabernet Sauvignon, huh? It's for those middle class people who read Peter's column that may not want to spend more than $25 on a bottle of wine. After all, Peter hears that some people in the United States have a budget they stick to, so they have to go for the cheaper wines, like something under $25.

I simply love that Peter recommends a wine under $25. I can't figure out if he thinks that this is a "budget" wine or what. Seriously, 97% of the wine sold is under $10 and Peter is giving tips for $25-and-under wines. I'm not sure when the last time he lived in the real world was.

o. Perfect metaphor for the New York Mets: While much of the rest of baseball made mega moves at the winter meetings last week, the Mets signed a platoon outfielder (maybe) who batted .212 for Toronto and Philadelphia last year, John Mayberry.

Remember the big moves the Royals and Giants made last year prior to and during the winter meetings? Oh, you don't? It's probably because this isn't the best way to determine which team will have success during the upcoming season.

p. Re the Red Sox: I have tremendous respect for Jon Lester, and gratitude for what he has done for the franchise. But I’m very much on board with not paying a pitcher who will be 31 in January $26 million a year for six years … I do not support paying Cole Hamels $22 million a year for the next five years plus the surrender of two prime prospects … I’d wait for a Johnny Cueto type in free agency next year, when the pitching crop will be richer, or at the trading deadline this year

How much money does Peter think Johnny Cueto is going to try and get in free agency? He'll be 29 years old when he signs his next contract and he's made 30+ career starts in five of his seven seasons, plus statistically he's only improving. How much money does Peter think Cueto is going to fetch if he has another season like his 2014 season? I'm guessing he's going to try and get somewhere around $22 million per year.

Who I Like Tonight

Chicago 24, New Orleans 20. Though I have no idea why.

Thanks for contributing.

The Adieu Haiku
Aaron Kromer blabs. Cutler forgives. So he says.
Forget? No way, Jay.

Why should Cutler forget? Sure, the Bears may regret that contract extension, but to have his offensive coordinator be the source for this report? That's bullshit and something close to career suicide. Fortunately for Kromer, it happened to Jay Cutler so the media isn't going to go to bat for him. If this happens to a more well-liked quarterback you can bet it would be more than a footnote in Peter's Adieu Haiku. Peter would go all-in on Kromer if he was the source bashing a quarterback that Peter and the media really likes.