15 comments MMQB Review: Peter Feels a Draft Edition (I'm Not Calling it FMIA)

I'll skip the typical preamble I've written over the last several years about trying to do more of this and I'm not sure when I'll do it again. Blah, blah, blah. You think you've heard it enough, imagine how many times I've written the "I'm trying to come back and find time..." preamble in the posts I've aborted. I figure I would give this a real shot to see if I remember how to do it. The NFL draft is a few days away and Peter King's sources help him formulate his mock draft. We know how this will play out. Trades happen, smokescreens happen and then Peter will get 4-5 picks correct. Back when I did mock drafts I usually got that many correct on a good year. Today, Peter forgets how to link columns he's referencing, Mike Mayock's daughter explains sending all of the team's scouts home a week before the draft is PERFECTLY NORMAL, and the Adieu Haiku is still a thing unfortunately.

Interesting mock draft dropped Sunday morning in the Los Angeles Times. The paper’s redoubtable NFL beat man, Sam Farmer, 
 
He has me blocked on Twitter. Why? I don't know, because I'm a really nice person.

On a side note, I always like the certainty with which these players are discussed prior to the draft. "10 year starter" and "best defensive player in the draft" is thrown around like gospel rather than the pure speculation it truly is. Also, Peter used to work with Mike Mayock at NBC, so you can feel him rooting for Mayock. I'm sure we will get some excuse-making for Mayock from the media if he struggles as a first-time GM. You know, like if he sends all of his scouts a week before the draft it could be portrayed as a normal thing to do.

had his annual sportswriter mock draft—he’s done it for 10 years—in which he asks longtime NFL writers he trusts in the franchise cities to make the pick of the team they cover. 

Great, I'd love to read it. Let me click on the link and read this despite the fact Sam Farmer has me blocked and clearly doesn't want me to read what he writes.

(Looks for the link to the Sam Farmer article in FMIA, finds nothing)

Usually, when someone refers to a writing on the Interwebs, that person also provides a link. This is especially done when mentioning the Interwebs writing in a complimentary manner. Alas, Peter shall not do this because because because.

This was Somers’ pick, and his explanation to Farmer:

“Arizona: DT Quinnen Williams, Alabama. The Cardinals like Josh Rosen, and I don’t see them taking a quarterback in the first round two years in a row. They need help on the defensive line and Williams would immediately provide that. GM Steve Keim has made some mistakes in the first round by taking guys who weren’t that passionate about football (Jonathan Cooper, Robert Nkemdiche). So I can see them taking Williams.”

This is the part where I mention I read an article about Kyler Murray in "Sports Illustrated" and it seems like one big red flag. It was a well-written article and you should read it sometime. I know, I'll link it here out of courtesy to the article's author.

I'm not stuck on Murray's height, though it doesn't help my opinion of him. He seems somewhat indifferent to what sport he plays. Mostly, I would like a happy medium between "I have made a blood oath to play football and if I violate this oath, then my family shall suffer the consequences of my actions" and "My dad told me to choose and I think I thought about it and this is what I want for now." I don't know. Murray and D.J. Metcalf are two guys I probably wouldn't draft as high as they are going to go. But guess what? No one asked me.

Interesting … and though I’m going to disagree with Somers in my projection, swept along with the Kyler Murray tidal wave, I do think there’s a good rationale for trading down or taking another player. 

To be clear, it's a very tiny tidal wave that isn't even sure it wants to sweep Peter up or not. You know, whatever the moon's gravitational pool wants the tidal wave to do and all. 

The Cardinals have done a good job in shutting up since it was reported at the combine seven weeks ago that Kingsbury let it slip that drafting Murray was a “done deal.”

EVER SINCE THE CARDINALS PUBLICLY PROCLAIMED WHO THEY ARE GOING TO PICK, THEY HAVE DONE A GOOD JOB OF PRETENDING THEY HAVEN'T PUBLICLY PROCLAIMED WHO THEY ARE GOING TO PICK.

I can't understate how upset I am that Peter King didn't refer to Kliff Kingsbury as "precocious." I could not be more disappointed, but at least Peter uses the word once in this FMIA that is really MMQB.

Two other bits of light drama: 

There is just light drama for now. The heavy drama starts on Friday and Saturday when Mike Mayock and Jon Gruden realize the draft isn't going as they expected and there are no scouts around to bounce ideas off. But don't worry, Mike Mayock's daughter will Tweet about how all of this heavy drama is totally normal.

I have four quarterbacks going, but lower than you think—at 1, 15, 23 and 31.

Ah yes, Peter still knows what I'm thinking better than I know what I'm thinking, so he knows when I expect the quarterbacks to be drafted in Thursday's draft. 

1. Arizona: Kyler Murray, QB, Oklahoma

They could decide to take Murray, the choice of head coach Kliff Kinsgbury. They could decide to take the best edge-rusher (Nick Bosa)—who I hear is the choice of many in the building—or the best player (Quinnen Williams) in the draft.

Oh yes, Williams is "the best player in the draft." I love these labels based on projections which are never, ever wrong. I've been wrong about them, so I would expect Peter to know better, except I know better than to expect Peter to know better. 

2. San Francisco: Nick Bosa, edge rusher, Ohio State

Niners have loved him since the Cotton Bowl in 2017, when Bosa’s 1.5 sacks led the marauding Ohio State defense in a 24-7 pummeling of USC’s Sam Darnold in the last game of the star QB’s college career. I hear the Cardinals think of Bosa as a “generational player,” which just speaks to their love of Murray if they’re willing to pass on Bosa and leave him to the Niners.

(Whispers) This could also speak to Kliff Kingsbury not knowing what he's doing if he's the only one in the Cardinals organization who wants to draft Murray and the choice of many in the building is a different guy who they consider to be a "generational player."

But again, I'm just a guy typing on a keyboard, while Kliff Kingsbury is a guy who just got fired a few months ago for not winning enough football games. Though he did have creative control over Texas Tech's uniforms and the team did look very spiffy while they lost games. I'm only saying that if the choice of many in the building is considered a "generational player" and the guy who wants Kyler Murray is the head coach who went 35-40 as a head coach in college, as well as 19-35 in Big 12 play, I'm going with the "many" who want Bosa. Also, I would not have hired Kliff Kingsbury. But again, I can't discount the wisdom of the team that fired their last coach after one season because he didn't win enough games with a rookie quarterback the team is currently trying to replace.

3. New York Jets: Ed Oliver, DT, Houston

Imagine Josh McDaniels, Chad O’Shea and Brian Daboll—the offensive brains of the AFC East—designing protections to keep Leonard Williams and Oliver from wrecking games over the next three or four years.

Get rid of the ball quickly. One of these three offensive coordinators has thus far shown he knows how to design protections to do this. I'll give you a guess which AFC East team he gets paid by.

5. Tampa Bay: Devin White, LB, LSU

Lots of people love White, a tackling machine who, at 237, tackles with the force of a 260-pounder. I’m taking my best guess of what GM Jason Licht would do if he was staring at White and Josh Allen here … because the Bucs need a pass-rusher too. Jason Pierre-Paul is 30, and other than possibly the precocious Carl Nassib,

Carl Nassib is so precocious. Peter could just pinch his cheeks and slap him on the ass with a paddle as a light dramatic punishment. Why would a grown man be considered precocious? Well, at the age of 26, no defensive end should have 12 career sacks. By the definition of "precocious" (which is "exceptionally early in development or occurrence") there is no way a defensive end should average 4 sacks per season by age 26. So precocious.

Plus, White might be the best defensive leader in this draft.

If you are keeping score at home, which if not, why aren't you, please update your NFL Draft whiteboard with the following 2019 NFL Draft superlatives:

Kyler Murray: Most Likely to be Drafted by Kliff Kingsbury
Nick Bosa: Best Edge-Rusher/Generational Talent
Quinnen Williams: Best Player in the Draft
Devin White: Best Defensive Leader in the Draft

I don't want to spoil the next superlative, but R.I.P. Jason Witten.

A veteran personnel man who knows Dave Gettleman said the other day, “Dave wants a pass-rusher in the worst way. He won’t reach for one, but he’ll get one with one his first three picks.”

Gettleman won't reach for one, but looking at his history of drafting DE's, where the two DE's he drafted in Carolina (one in the 2nd round and one in the 3rd round) are no longer on the roster, and the 1st round DT he drafted for pass rushing purposes isn't going to have his fifth year option picked up, it doesn't look great. Other than that, "getting one" wasn't the issue. It was getting a good one in the draft, though he did draft KK Short. And I know Dave Gettleman and it's a crapshoot whether he drafts a good defensive end or not.

7. Jacksonville: T.J. Hockenson, TE, Iowa

Daniel Jeremiah said the other day he thinks Hockenson could be the reincarnation of Jason Witten. 

So when did Jason Witten die? If Hockenson is the reincarnation of Jason Witten, that has to mean Jason Witten died. Sure, some "Monday Night Football" viewers may have wished Witten was dead, but that doesn't mean he is. He only acted brain-dead.

T.J. Hockenson: Most Likely to Have Been Reincarnated as the Not-Yet-Dead Jason Witten.

Bills love Quinnen Williams, but I can’t see the Raiders parting with him if he’s there at four. Bills could also trade up for Josh Allen, 

Well, that would be confusing to draft two players named "Josh Allen" in the first round in consecutive seasons.

or pick T.J. Hockenson if he falls to them. But if they stay, Jonah Williams could be an upgrade to Spencer Long at right guard or possibly, eventually, Ty Nsekhe, at right tackle. Lots of differing opinions in the scouting community on Williams. I would ask Bills Nation to look up “quixotic” in the dictionary. 

Yeah, you fucking in-bred high school graduate Bills fans. Go look up big words in the dictionary so that you may understand the big words that Peter King doesn't even use in the context of your draft pick because you are all too stupid to get it anyway. Look up the word, come back, and then you will understand the word Peter wanted to use, but didn't, because he doesn't want to lose you. 

Jonah Williams: Basically Don Quixote

18. Minnesota: Garrett Bradbury, C, North Carolina State

Speaking of PFF, the lowest-rated NFL center in the league by far last year was Minnesota’s Pat Elflein. 

And when have PFF ratings, many of which come out an hour or two after an NFL game has ended, thereby showing no regard for space and time through which a person could grade a three hour game, ever been wrong?

The Vikings pick at 18, 50 and 81, and the perception on the scouting trail is that two of those three picks will be offensive linemen.

And if any team knows offensive linemen, it's the team that drafted Matt Kalil and signed Mike Remmers as a free agent. Very offensive. 

Garrett Bradbury: Most Likely to Not Be Offensive

20. Pittsburgh: Rock Ya-Sin, CB, Temple

Imagine the first cornerback off the board being a guy who played one year at Temple after transferring from the Presbyterian (S.C.) College Blue Hose, and who will have one of the great names in the history of whatever team drafts him. 

Okay, I imagined it. It's ironic that Peter King thinks the name of a prospect is funny when that prospect changed the name he uses for public consumption (from "Abdurrahman Ibn") because he knew many people could not pronounce it. Peter never fails to show what a man of the world he is.

Rock Ya-Sin: Most Likely to Sound Like a Rapper Who Appeared on a Nas Album That Wasn't "Illmatic" or "Stillmatic."

21. Oakland: Josh Jacobs, RB, Alabama

PROJECTED TRADE: Oakland sends 24th and 106th picks to Seattle for this choice.

So, the best running back in this draft will probably be picked somewhere in the twenties,

Josh Jacobs: Best Running Back in the Draft

I met with Jacobs last week, by the way. Delightful fellow.

As was Johnny Manziel prior to the year he was drafted. Both played in the SEC and both have a "J" in their name. They have nothing to do with each other, but I wanted to remind you that Peter was taken in by Johnny Manziel, which I probably shouldn't really blame Peter for. Manziel just wanted to get drafted higher than he deserved so he was on his good behavior for a few months.

Josh Jacobs: Most Likely to be a Pretty Delightful Fellow

22. Baltimore: Clelin Ferrell, DE, Clemson 

New England hopes Ferrell falls 10 more spots, but he won’t. The Ravens also could trade—rookie GM Eric DeCosta would love to accumulate more picks. But Ferrell is an ideal building block on a defensive front that needs a new star. I won’t be shocked if Ferrell is gone if the Ravens take a 10-year center like Erik McCoy of Texas A&M;

Erik McCoy: Most Likely to be a 10-Year Center

23. New York Giants: Daniel Jones, QB, Duke

PROJECTED TRADE: New York gets this pick and No. 55 from Houston for No. 17 overall.

As for Jones the player, there’s a wide disparity in opinion in the man who went 17-19 as a college starter. Very smart, but he doesn’t have the deep arm of the three other first-round candidates. In Bob McGinn’s annual deep dive into the top draft prospects, the veteran scribe quotes a NFL scout saying of Jones: “He reminds me of Ryan Tannehill. There’s just something missing with him.” Damning, but the four first-rounders seem to all have zits this year.

Daniel Jones: Most Likely to Have a Weak-Ass Arm, Plus Has Challenges Controlling His Acne

I also have to address the "Four first-rounders seem to all have zits this year" comment. I feel like every year we hear two things about that draft's quarterbacks.

1. Next year's class is better than this year.
2. This year's class all have weaknesses which bothers some NFL GM's.

Other than Andrew Luck, who is the pinnacle of QB perfection and has been since the day he emerged from his mother's womb playbook in his hand, when was the last time there has been a QB or group of first-round QB's that were considered "safe" or guy(s) who didn't have questions about their talent? I can't remember a time. Every draft there are questions about the top quarterbacks in the draft. It's the nature of the NFL. I would expect the QB's to have zits every single year, as they are college quarterbacks who aren't perfect.

25. Philadelphia: Marquise Brown, WR, Oklahoma

Some love him. Some think he’s too wispy at 166, and they’re worried that he enters the NFL nursing a foot injury, and he might be prone to injury in the big-boy league.

This is not a terribly poor spot for Brown, but I would think a player of this weight and with his recent injury history should legitimately have questions about his ability to stay healthy. The list of small-ish wide receivers taken in the 1st round isn't great of late either. John Ross was let go by the Bengals, Will Fuller (he is listed at 185 pounds) has been very injury-prone, Phillip Dorsett has been a disappointment, and Tavon Austin is not that good either. Of course, Brandin Cooks has been great. But a college wide receiver that is small-ish already has a strike against him, much less a college wide receiver coming off a major injury.

Marquise Brown: Most Likely to be Wispy

27. Oakland: Deandre Baker, CB, Georgia

If the Raiders can come out of this first round with the best defensive tackle in the draft, the best running back in the draft, and a corner who should push for playing time immediately, it’s going to be a successful first draft for the rookie GM Mayock.

If you can say Williams is the best defensive tackle in the draft, Jacobs is the best running back for the draft and ignore that the Raiders are so thin at CB that any player drafted in the first two rounds then you may be Mike Mayock's friend. I'm being snide, but Mayock is a first-time GM and when has Jon Gruden been an astute drafter of talent? I will remain skeptical until I am proven otherwise.

Given the combination of Jon Gruden and Mike Mayock in Oakland, the calisthenics required to compliment the job they are doing and remove responsibility among their friends in the media might break world records if the Raiders struggle again this year. But don't worry, we will see here in a minute that Peter has the Raiders schedule as the reason they could struggle this year. At least the NFL has given Gruden a ready-made excuse for potential mediocrity.

30. Green Bay: D.K. Metcalf, WR, Mississippi

They haven’t taken a receiver in the top 50 in 11 years (Jordy Nelson, 2008, 36th overall). I could see Andre Dillard here too, but Brian Gutekunst is trying to stock up for one last multi-year run with Aaron Rodgers, giving him the kind of weapons that will allow him to be Aaron Rodgers again.

"One last multi-year run" as if this isn't the goal of nearly every NFL GM, given the salary cap restrictions in the NFL. 

I might go Marquise Brown here if I were Green Bay, but I realize a 166-pound burner may not have the shelf life of a Sterling Sharpe-big-bodied player like Metcalf.

What if a 166-pound burner actually knows how to get open and catch a football, which D.K. Metcalf hasn't shown he can do with his 67 career receptions? Also, Metcalf played in 21 games in his college career at Ol' Miss, while Marquise Brown and his short shelf life played in 25 games over his college career at Oklahoma. Brown may seem brittle but he's been durable compared to Metcalf.

Denver likes Lock, and might be able to snag him as a two-year learner behind Joe Flacco while retaining the ability to use the 71st pick this year on a potential starter at a need position, like Texas A&M tight end Jace Sternberger. A move like this wouldn’t surprise me, but I also think the way Denver GM John Elway’s talking, he could punt on a young quarterback until the richer QB draft of 2020.

There's the narrative I like! Next year's draft is going to be a great one, at least until Jacob Fromm struggles this year, questions about Tua's height crop up and whatever else happens that causes doubts in the minds of NFL scouts ends up happening. THEN, it is the 2021 QB class with Trevor Lawrence that is the really rich one. Around and around we go. 

John Elway: Most Likely to Poorly Evaluate a College Quarterback

In the end, I struggled mightily with the Frank Clark trade from Seattle to Kansas City. I had the trade in my first draft of the mock on Friday, then took it out for 48 hours, and just put it back in Sunday night. The waffling came before I sent Clark to the Chiefs because of the Kareem Hunt and Tyreek Hill incidents. And I will not be surprised at all if the Chiefs don’t do it. But I’m taking the gamble, because the Kansas City need for edge-rush is so pronounced. 

It feels like wanting Frank Clark's ability to rush the passer is nice, but I have to think even the Chiefs are self-aware enough to not trade for him. It's not like he's beating women and children on the regular, like Tyreek Hill seems to do, but he's not exactly shown over the past few years that his lesson was learned.

• Here is something that simply should not happen. The factoid that, upon further review, is a blight on the 2019 schedule:

Raider games in Oakland in the 48 days between Sept. 16 and Nov. 2: zero.
Raider games in Oakland in the 15 days between Nov. 3 and Nov. 17: three.

Let me say, this is crazy and ridiculous scheduling by the NFL. But, I am also jaded and now that Peter likes Mike Mayock, so I can't help but be so jaded this bizarre scheduling isn't in some way going to be used as an excuse if the Raiders struggle this year. 

I’m going to try to interpret why the NFL did what it did to Oakland. First, the Raiders and the A’s are the only football and baseball teams sharing one stadium. The Raiders are not keen on playing many games on the field when it is set up for baseball, with the skin infield and pitcher’s mound.

Because with how the Oakland Raiders have treated their fans with the whole "moving town" thing, it's only right that the franchise be treated fairly so there isn't a huge gap between their home games. After all, the fans the team is abandoning want to see the team play, so the NFL should consider the needs of the fans the Raiders are screwing over. In reality, if the Raiders don't want to play on the field set up for baseball (which I understand), then it's not going to make scheduling their games easier. This is just a basic fact of the matter.

Imagine if Al Davis saw this schedule. The Raiders play five straight games between Sept. 22 and Oct. 27, at mid-morning on their bodyclocks. Five games in a row, all at 10 a.m. PT.

Counterargument: If the Raiders play five straight games at 1pm EST, then it should be easier to acclimate their bodyclocks to playing at this time compared to having games at 1pm EST throughout their schedule. The Raiders will have a chance to get used to playing at 1pm if they play five games in a row at that time.

• Bills Mafia will be screaming about respect. Bills fans are an insular lot, with the Bills Mafia as loyal a fan group as exists in the NFL. What must the Mafiosos have been thinking when Buffalo was the only team of 32 to get zero prime time games? The coaches must love 14 games with 1 p.m. ET starts, and five road trips of an hour or less in the air. But the fans feel only disrespect. The only nod to national attraction is Buffalo’s first Thanksgiving game in 25 years—the mid-afternoon CBS tilt at Dallas.

I would think a Thanksgiving game is not terribly disrespectful. It's only going to be one of the most-watched games of the year. But every NFL fan base screams about respect. My favorite team's fan base is always whining about how nobody respects the team. It's standard fandom stuff. 

“As a kid, my whole dream was to win Super Bowls and play QB in the NFL. For me it was always football. But at the same time it wasn’t.”

—Kyler Murray, to Robert Klemko of The MMQB and Sports Illustrated in a magazine story this week.

Again, reading that article didn't make me question that Kyler Murray likes to play football. It made me question whether Murray didn't like playing baseball as much as he likes playing football and made me wonder what happens when his father has less of a say in the decision. Throw in that even Lincoln Riley indicates that Murray's leadership skills aren't necessarily one of his best attributes and he's a lot of red flags for me.

Bill Belichick turned 67 the other day, which is about the time most normal human beings are seriously pondering retirement.

I seriously ponder retirement around the same time I die, partly because my Social Security money is being drained by Baby Boomers like Bill Belichick and medical care will be so expensive at that point in my life I may have to work just to pay for it. Anyway, carry on...

In fact, 12 of the 15 winningest coaches have not coached, or did not coach, at age 67 or older. Belichick will make that 11 of 15 this fall.

Looking at the top 15, and how many seasons they coached after turning 67:

1. Don Shula: 0. Coached last game at 65.
2. George Halas: 6. Went 47-33-5 and won one NFL title after turning 67.
3. Belichick.
4. Tom Landry: 0. Coached last game at 64.
5. Curly Lambeau: 0. Coached last game at 55.
6. Chuck Noll: 0. Coached last game at 59.
7. Andy Reid: 0. He is 61.
8. Marty Schottenheimer: 0. Coached last game at 63.
9. Dan Reeves: 0. Coached last game at 59.
10. Chuck Knox: 0. Coached last game at 62.
11. Bill Parcells: 0. Coached last game at 65.
12. Tom Coughlin: 3. Went 19-29 after turning 67.
13. Mike Shanahan: 0. Coached last game at 61.
14. Jeff Fisher: 0. Coached last game at 58.
15. Paul Brown: 1. Went 11-4 after turning 67.

You can not convince me that Peter didn't include this information just so he could put Jeff Fisher's name up here. My level of jaded is off the charts.

Lots of Steve Keim criticism. From Ravven L.: “I find it interesting that you say the Cards personnel people are at ‘the upper end among personnel people in belief in their ability to pick players’ but then you detail the incredible lack of talent on that team. How are these two statements compatible?”

My statement was about how confident GM Steve Keim and VP of player personnel Terry McDonough are about their personnel acumen—not about their recent performance in the draft and free agency, which has obviously been lacking. 

So because the Cardinals think they are good at picking players, not based on the recent performance of picking players, the Cards personnel people are at "the upper end among personnel people in belief in their ability to pick players"? I feel like this is a sort of circular reasoning.

"Because we believe we are good at picking players, we will continue to believe that we are good at picking players based on this belief."

But let’s be fair. Arizona won 50 games in Keim’s first five years as GM, got Carson Palmer very cheap in trade with Oakland, and hired Bruce Arians as one of his first decisions as GM (along with club president Michael Bidwill). In his drafts, Keim drafted Tyrann Mathieu with the 69th pick, John Brown with the 91st, and David Johnson with the 86th. He traded the 61st pick plus guard Jonathan Cooper to New England for Chandler Jones; Jones has recorded 41 sacks in his three Cardinals seasons. It’s okay to say Keim is in a personnel slump, but overall, his six years have been better than average.

He also fired Steve Wilks after one season, used the #10 pick on a quarterback he may no longer want, while Mathieu/Brown are no longer with the team. The problem is a personnel slump can set an NFL team back quite a few seasons. While Peter points to the 50 games the Cardinals have won over Keim's first five seasons, they have won 18 games over the last three seasons. That is a more important and relevant statistic. 

1. I think there was a lot of buzz Friday when NFL Network’s Ian Rapoport tweeted that the Raiders would send home their scouts for the weekend, and for the days leading up to the draft, preventing them from leaking any of the information on the team’s draft board. “The belief is they [Jon Gruden and Mike Mayock] don’t know who to trust and wanted to clear the room,” Rapoport reported. A few thoughts:

Peter has to cape up for Mike Mayock now. He spends four solid paragraphs of bullet points pointing out that "this is all really fucking normal, guys." Perhaps it is normal, which is contrary to most of what I have read. It seems like a chaotic situation to me.

There is also this doozy:

• Re Mayock: One of his friends in the league told me the other day he felt this was Mayock’s attempt to take control over a process that he’s running for the first time in his life. “Wouldn’t you think it’s fair for Mike, with three picks in the first round, to close the circle and keep it as tight as he can?” this friend said.

Sure, if I'm desperate to make excuses for Mayock and I'm his friend, this is how I would reason out the decision. If I were a reasonable person who did not know Mike Mayock personally, I would say as a rookie GM running his first draft wouldn't I want the same scouts who have provided me with evaluations over the past few months to be present in the draft room so I can ensure the best decisions are being made for the future of the franchise? I wouldn't say it's "fair" for Mayock to close the circle, because that's an odd choice of words, but it's certainly within his right to do it. Why Mayock (and Gruden) would do this is the concern, not whether Mayock could do it.

I take the opinion of a Mayock's friend with a grain of salt. They are friends, so of course wrong or right, the friend will rationalize it.

 • Mayock’s daughter Leigh tweeted over the weekend that she went out to dinner with her dad recently and when he went to the bathroom, he took his draft notebook with him rather than leave it at the table, where only his daughter was. “Don’t take it personal scouties,” she said.

Oh, well if Mike Mayock's daughter says this is normal then I guess I should change my mind. In this situation, Mayock didn't leave his draft notebook in public with his daughter at the table where any stranger could run up and grab it. If Mayock considers his scouts to be strangers who would take his draft notebook for nefarious purposes, then perhaps they should have been fired a long time ago. I get that Mayock (and Gruden) want total control over the draft process, but they can do this without essentially telling their scouts to find other jobs. So despite what Mike Mayock's daughter says, telling the Raiders scouts to not show up for the draft is really odd. 

2. I think for all of you, particularly in Packer Nation, who wonder why in the world Green Bay has never played in England or Mexico, you may not have to wonder that much more. I think Green Bay’s time is coming, likely as soon as 2020, to finally go on the road to play a game in London. The reasons why Green Bay has never had to make the trip are predictable—the Packers don’t want to give up one of eight sold-out home games, and no team hosting the Packers wants to give up that gate because the Packers travel so well and fill the stadium and local hotels with fans. But I think the NFL is conscious of not giving a prized franchise special treatment.

Because when I think of the NFL, I think of them being conscious of not giving prized franchises special treatment. Any review of the schedule of primetime games shows that the NFL definitely doesn't play favorites. It just feels like the Cowboys play three Sunday Night Football games every single year. Sometimes they play two and sometimes they play four. 

5. I think that’s why the draft is so compelling. So many people. So many opinions

And yet, Twitter is a cesspool for these same reasons. Weird. 

8. I think my favorite quote of the spring, and nothing is close for second place, is Giants GM Dave Gettleman responding to a question about the strengths of the 2019 draft by saying, in part, “The wides are thick.” Meaning there are a lot of wide receivers on the Giants board. I just love the way he said it.

I have been a Dave Gettleman defender in the past. I cannot lie and say otherwise, but the rose is off the bloom for me. He seems to use fun words that sportswriters enjoy writing down (Hog Mollies, Blue Gooses) and then drafts players that end up not panning out. If I'm a Giants fan, the guy who drafted Kelvin Benjamin and Devin Funchess better not be talking about "thick" receivers or else I'm afraid I may get a thick receiver. Gettleman can say it in a fun manner, but I do hope he's learned his lesson. The fact he traded the most dynamic wide receiver in the NFL, while swallowing dead money, tells me otherwise though. 

10. I think these are my other thoughts of the week:

a. God help our country.

Thanks Peter. Your contribution is appreciated. Maybe Donald Trump should tell all of his advisors not to show up to Cabinet and departmental meetings and that will fix things. After all, he just needs to get full control over the process. It's only fair. 

e. Story of the Week: The Rise and Fall of a New York Shock Jock, by Nick Paumgarten of the New Yorker. Great story about the downfall of Craig Carton, who teamed with Boomer Esiason on New York sports station WFAN’s morning show. Man, gambling is a one-way street to hell. Just read this piece. And an excellent job of taking us deep inside the story by Paumgarten.

f. “Are you Craig Carton?”

g. “Yes I am.”

h. “You’re under arrest.”

a. Why.

b. Was this.

c. Four points on the outline.

d. When it is simply one point that Peter wanted to mention

e. ?

i. My wife and I watch “Jeopardy” most nights. 

What? I'm so shocked about this. I bet Peter watches "Seinfeld" re-runs when he's not watching "Jeopardy." It's so outside the realm of Peter's demographic to watch "Jeopardy" and "Seinfeld" though.

We’ve been riveted in the last couple of weeks by James Holzhauer, the incredibly intelligent, lighning-fast-with-the-buzzer champion who already has the five most lucrative winning shows of all time. Holzhauer is a professional sports gambler, according to the show.

Now Peter, I've heard that gambling is a one-way street to hell. Maybe go talk to the person that said that. He's brilliant and asked God to help our country so you know for sure he's trying to help out.

j. Joe Pinsker of The Atlantic with an interesting story about how Holzhauer, essentially, is so brilliant his games are not fair fights.

k. When the challengers get introduced at the start of the show, they’re lambs led to the slaughter. I’ve never seen anything like it.

It sounds like gambling is no longer a one-way street to hell. It's almost like it depends on the person doing the gambling. 

l. Coffeenerdness: For some reason that is foreign to me, because it’s never happened in my 61 years on earth, I have been getting allergy attacks. 

Maybe you have been gambling too much and your body is telling you that it's a one-way street to hell, unless you are good at it, in which case you get to be on "Jeopardy" and people like you will be in awe of you.

The Adieu Haiku

My mock draft stinks. Stinks!
Over/under on direct
hits: Four point five. Hmmmm.

It's not shocking that "Sports Illustrated" didn't fight tooth and nail to keep the Adieu Haiku like they fought to keep the name "MMQB."

Speaking of stinks, I wish that Peter knew the Adieu Haiku stinks. I mean, he ended this haiku with "Hmmmm." Not very poetic.

0 comments MMQB Review: It's Passe Edition

What do you know? I read MMQB again, so here I am writing. Funny how that works. Peter was up to Peter King-esque types of things the last time I covered MMQB. You can probably guess what those sorts of things were. He lost his phone after putting it down in a crowded airport bathroom, wrote a haiku, and congratulated a horse on his accomplishments. This week Peter reveals Mr. Ed's real name was not Mr. Ed. And yeah, there is still an awful haiku.

So the news of the NFL week starts in Charlotte, where owners begin gathering tonight for the annual quickie spring meeting

For God's sake, use the correct gender-assigned bathroom. We don't need no trouble these days.

(24 hours for these impatient billionaires), and by sundown Tuesday we’ll have three new Super Bowl cities. 

The owners are building three new cities to host the Super Bowl? Who the hell says "Rome wasn't built in a day," because the NFL owners are building three cities in one day.

Super Bowl 54, February 2020: South Florida over Los Angeles and Tampa Bay. The truth is the NFL would love to give the Super Bowl capping the league’s first century to the city where the first Super Bowl was played, Los Angeles. It could happen. But the Rams would really prefer to not be preparing for a Super Bowl in the first season the new stadium in Inglewood is operational.

This is Peter's prediction of who gets the Super Bowl. The Rams agreed to do "Hard Knocks" and kept who the #1 overall pick was under wraps to keep the drama going, so of course it makes sense for them to be able to dictate WHEN they host the Super Bowl over the other cities that just want to host the Super Bowl at any point it is convenient for the NFL to allow that city to do so.

Rules the owners will consider in Charlotte

Video study on sidelines during games. Currently, teams can look at still images on their Microsoft Surfaces on sidelines during games, or on images faxed from the press box the old-fashioned way. Last year, during a few preseason games and the Pro Bowls, coaches and quarterbacks could watch video on the Surfaces, and the players and coaches loved it.

Sam Bradford LOVED being able to watch "Dexter" on the sidelines while the Eagles defense was on the field. He just wished the defense could have done more to stay on the field longer so he wouldn't have gotten constantly interrupted and ended up having to go back on the field. But hey, he's a competitor, so he cherished the chance to be paid. Plus, play quarterback. That was important too.

One hour has been set aside at the meetings so the league can discuss the next wave of research and funding for player health and safety …

One whole hour! These owners have employees who are suffering from early dementia and dying from playing football, but they are kind enough to dedicate an hour to seeing if any of this stuff can be further prevented. I imagine this hour is really like the last session prior to lunch at most conferences. The presenter flies through the slides and gets the attendees out to lunch early, so most of the time dedicated to discussing player health is spent eating cubes of cheese and bitching about there being too much sugar in the tea.

Now this is downright strange. The NFL is investigating the by-the-book Ravens for violating one of the simplest and clearest rules in the collective bargaining agreement: practicing in pads during their rookie minicamp.

It's so strange the public perception of an NFL team doesn't quite match reality 100% of the time. HOW COULD THIS BE?

I would be surprised if the Ravens get docked one of their precious mid-round draft picks; the team has had the most compensatory picks in the league since the system was instituted in 1994. Usually the punishment for such violations is a diminution of spring practice time and a fine for the offending parties—either the team or the coach or both.

Now if the NFL had heard the Ravens were using slightly deflated footballs AND practicing with pads on? That's a heavy fine and loss of a first round draft pick. Or possibly Joe Flacco would be executed in the town square. It's totally up to the Ravens. The NFL doesn't want to appear heavy-handed.

The Washington Post last week published results of a poll of 504 of the country’s 5.4 million Native Americans—in all 50 states and the District of Columbia—that found:

Ninety percent of those polled said the nickname of Washington’s NFL franchise does not bother them. Only 9 percent said the nickname bothered them, with 1 percent undecided or with no opinion.

Seventy-three percent said the word Redskin is not disrespectful.

Okay … but what of the 21 percent, the 106 (approximately) of the 504 Native Americans polled who do find the name disrespectful?

These 21% of people are in what's known as "the minority," which means "not the majority" and we live in a country where, in general, "majority rules." You can always find something that a few people consider disrespectful, which doesn't mean their feelings should be ignored, but it also doesn't mean this minority should be catered to. If the Redskins changed their name, what about the 79% who don't find the name disrespectful. They no longer count? 

I personally don't give a crap if the Redskins change their name or not. I'm not Native American and have no real feelings one way or another. I try not to tell others how they should/should not feel. I'm offended by things people say or do, but it doesn't mean my minority opinion should be the majority or catered to. More importantly, and I think this is important, many of the same people writing about the Redskins team name change are more prone to favoring the name change given their political affiliation.

The media is more liberal, so it makes sense that a more liberal point of view (changing the Redskins name) would be over-represented when talking about the potential name change. But I can't emphasize enough how little of an opinion I have about this issue. If Native Americans really find it offensive, change it. If Native Americans don't care and the Washington Redskins organization doesn't want to change it, leave it as it is.

The NFL’s Incredible Shrinking Stat: touchdown numbers for running backs.

Adrian Peterson has 97, and there’s little doubt he’ll become the 10th back in history to rush for at least 100 touchdowns; in fact, this year, he could catch Jim Brown, number five on the list with 105.

But after that, there’s a long fall to the number two active touchdown runner: The Colts’ Frank Gore, 33 years old, enters the season with 70 career rushing touchdowns. Number three on the active list is DeAngelo Williams, with 57.

Hmmmm...I am proposing there is a causation issue here.

The decline in emphasis on the running game is making the touchdown run passé. Find an offensive category in NFL history with only two of the top 50 players of all-time being active today.

I won't argue the emphasis on the running game has declined, but couldn't this statistic be the result of teams going away from a one running back system, more quarterbacks being considered "running" quarterbacks and the evolution of players who are considered goal line backs?

Here is an example and it may be a bad one. You can judge. Jonathan Stewart has 36 career rushing touchdowns. Cam Newton has 43 career rushing touchdowns. Mike Tolbert has 33 career rushing touchdowns. Maybe this is a special case, but does Stewart's 36 career touchdowns mean the touchdown run is becoming passe or when it gets to "1st/2nd/3rd-and-goal" short situations there are a variety of players in the Carolina offense that could get the carry? There isn't just one running back that gets the ball on the goal line. This is true for several NFL teams that don't have Adrian Peterson or another stud running back.

BenJarvus Green-Ellis has 42 career rushing touchdowns. That's more than Brian Westbrook, Christian Okoye,and Gale Sayers. He has often been used as the goal line back for the Patriots/Bengals. Brandon Jacobs is 47th all-time on the rushing touchdown list with 60 rushing touchdowns. Mike Alstott is 50th with 58 career rushing touchdowns, while Warrick Dunn is 73rd with 49 career rushing touchdowns. It's possible use of the running game is declining, but rushing touchdowns are often shared by multiple running backs. So I don't think a decline in the emphasis on the running game can be the only cause here.

Jon Runyan, appointed the NFL’s vice president of policy and rules administration (head of on-field discipline) last week, has had an interesting life. Fourth-round pick of the Houston Oilers, 1996. Many battles royale with Hall of Fame defensive end Michael Strahan. Voted the No. 2 dirtiest player in the NFL by Sports Illustrated, 2006. Voted to two terms in U.S. Congress out of south Jersey starting in 2011.

My favorite factoid about him: During one phase of his career, Runyan would stop at a Starbucks drive-through on the way to games and order nine shots of espresso in a venti cup. And, of course, he’d sip it in the hours before a game. I bet he was a rip-snorter in first halfs.

Yes, Runyan probably did fart really loud all through the first half.

Mr. Starwood Preferred Member Travel Note of the Week

Two notes about air travel:

• Been stuck in a couple of long TSA lines (58 minutes at LaGuardia in April, but nothing approaching two hours) at American airports this spring, and I don’t have a lot of sympathy for the complaints about the inconvenience. That’s modern travel today. We live in a dangerous world, and you’re just going to have to accept getting to the airport two hours before your flight as a rule now. The alternative to significant inconvenience, I’m afraid, is much worse.

Given the fact Peter has a weekly section of MMQB dedicated to complaining about travel inconveniences, his condescension towards those who complain about waiting in line to get through security at an airport probably says more about him than any comment I could make would. It's nice how Peter understands know that even small inconveniences at the airport are worth the trade-off of ensuring each person flying through that airport stays safe. I wonder how long this message sticks with Peter?

• I was on an American Airlines flight from Kansas City to O’Hare the other day. A man walked down the aisle and into the row of his seat, and he bumped his head hard on the area right below the overhead bin, causing the underside of the bin to fly open. The guy was okay, looked at the yawning under-bin with wires hanging out, and figured he should probably just leave it alone. The flight attendant came by and said she’d alert maintenance. I’m thinking, Why don’t they just try to close the hatch themselves, before calling maintenance? But, you know, everything in the world can’t be left up to me. So we waited, and all the passengers boarded, and it was maybe 15 minutes before a maintenance fellow showed up. He took one look at it, carefully moved the under-bin piece back into place, made sure none of the wires would be pinched, and then closed it with a click. Took him seven seconds, max. But then, of course, “the proper paperwork” had to be filled out and signed off. Yes, the paperwork. The captain came on and said we’d be underway as soon as “the paperwork” was complete. Five minutes. Ten minutes. Fourteen minutes. “We’re just getting the paperwork completed, and we’ll be underway.” All in all, it was a 31-minute delay, to snap a bin shut and dutifully record it in some logbook.

One paragraph. It took one paragraph for Peter to go from "A little inconvenience is worth knowing you are a safe" to "I have no patience for any type of the delay that prevents me from getting to where I want to go in the fastest manner possible." I know Peter is railing against the paperwork involved, but just like TSA agents being present at security, this is about addressing and documenting a potential threat to the plane's security. It took one paragraph for Peter to turn away from his thought that the alternative to a significant inconvenience is much worse than that inconvenience.

It does sound ridiculous to have such a delay for a small issue. Peter misses the key issue here. The issue isn't whether the flight attendant can close the bin or not. Of course she could. Does Peter know where these wires attached to? Perhaps these were wires for the air that passengers can turn on during a flight, were part of the plane's lighting system or even were just wires that are required for some of the emergency buttons to light up. That's the point, that Peter has no clue what these wires do. One minute he's preaching patience through security, the next he just assumes wires hanging down from the under-bin can just be fixed by a flight attendant. It's just another day in the life of Peter King. He doesn't need to follow his own rules.

Ten Things I Think I Think

2. I think the four strangest things about the Bovada.com win-total over-unders for the 2016 season are:

c. Only five teams with a double-digit projection: Pats, Pack, Panthers, Steelers, Seahawks, all at 10.5.

Gregg Easterbrook would be PISSED if he saw these projections. I'm sure he would write, "How can a team win 0.5 of a game?" and then continue his ridiculous criticisms of these over-unders for the next two years until he mysteriously stops mentioning them like he never even brought it up after a reader points out why these over-unders do in fact make sense. 

d. Bovada likes Jameis and the Bucs, and the re-made Jags: 7.5 wins each … which is more than the over/under for the Eagles, Saints, Dolphins and Lions (7 apiece).

(Gregg Easterbrook) "HOW CAN A TEAM WIN 7.5 GAMES? I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW AVERAGES/OVER-UNDERS WORK BUT MY LACK OF KNOWLEDGE ON THIS SUBJECT DEFINITELY IS A REFLECTION ON HOW STUPID OVER-UNDERS ARE AND IS NOT A REFLECTION ON ME!" 

5. I think I did note that Brock Osweiler told our Jenny Vrentas he holds “no grudge” with the Denver Broncos, and while I’m not accusing him of not telling the truth, I retain the same feeling I’ve had since he left the Super Bowl champs for a lesser team: Something happened in Denver that Osweiler didn’t like and that led him to leave—the late-season benching perhaps. But something.

I would think the Brinks truck of money that the Texans backed up to Osweiler's door would make him feel better, but I guess not. Perhaps Osweiler is upset he spent four seasons on the bench, played fairly well when he got a chance, and then got benched for a noodle-armed quarterback who managed to throw for 539 yards over three full playoff games, while riding his defense to a Super Bowl victory and leading his offense to the worst performance by a winning team ever? Nope, I'm really not bitter, these are just the facts. I guess the fact the Broncos were historically bad offensively in the Super Bowl, then the team waited around for the well-past-his-prime quarterback who led the team to that historically bad performance to make a decision about retirement rather than give a "fair" contract offer to his backup who had waited four years for the opportunity and feels like he had proven he could do the job had something to do with the decision by Osweiler.

Maybe. That could be it. 

9. I think this will show my age. But no matter how quiet the Giants are about what Janoris Jenkins said to Paul Schwartz of the New York Post last week, about having five children with four women, none of whom is his wife, they cannot be happy with it. Said Jenkins: “When they were going with me, they understand, ‘OK, he’s a football player. He’s gonna have multiple women.’ That just comes with dating a football player.”

The Giants knew about Jenkins' children long before they signed him to a free agent contract this offseason. Isn't it weird how the Rams drafted Jenkins and Peter didn't really have much to say about the Rams drafting him when he has five children with four women? So the Rams, a team which Peter has significant ties, draft Jenkins and Peter goes out of his way to show the support system the Rams have in place for Jenkins to meet his parental obligations. The Giants sign Jenkins as a free agent and now all of a sudden Peter "shows his age" and thinks the Giants can't be happy about all these children he has. The Rams draft Jenkins, Peter shows how they have the support system for him, the Giants sign Jenkins and now all these kids are an issue. Weird how that works isn't it?

So, monogamy is either highly unusual or just wrong for a football player? 

Come on Peter. Jenkins' comments are dumb, but we all know how much ass professional athletes get. They travel all the time, they have money...it's not the high point of morality, but after covering sports for this long you have to ask this question?

The establishment Giants owners, the Maras and Tisches, have to be gagging at the thought that for their football-playing employees, it’s expected that traditional families are passe.

I'm sure Steve Tisch, a man who has been married then divorced twice and has children with both of his ex-wives, is really up in arms about how traditional families are now passe. And who can forget this little fucking nugget from THIS VERY MMQB?:

u. To Laura King and Kim Zylker King: Happy First Anniversary! I hope the next 74 years together are as great as the first was.

MY GOD! PETER HAS A DAUGHTER WHO IS A LESBIAN? AND SHE IS MARRIED TO ANOTHER WOMAN?

Whatever will Peter's overlords at NBC think about him showing off how a traditional family is now passe? I'm sure whoever employs Peter's daughter is gagging at the thought of their employee giving the middle finger to the idea of a traditional family. Peter is just a clusterfuck of contradictions and lack of thought sometimes.

And what the hell is up with Peter using "passe" several times in this MMQB? Is this his word of the day or something?

10. I think these are my non-football thoughts of the week:

c. Chris Sale is 9-0, and he’ll have two more starts before June 1. Imagine being 11-0 through a third of the season. Dare we mention Denny McLain?

You just did. Also, Peter will write "dare we mention Denny McLain" and then point out exactly why his own thought about mentioning Denny McLain in relation to Sale winning 30 games is probably not necessary. 

d. Denny McLain’s the last pitcher to win 30 games in a year (31-6, in 1968), and he won his 11th game on June 16, 1968. So there’s that. Not saying it’s anything but a remote possibility for Sale, because McLain started every fourth day. Generally, Sale starts every fifth or sixth day.

Also, the most games Sale has started in a season is 31. So he would have to essentially win every start while also getting a decision in every start he makes to win 30 games. It's hard enough to get a decision in every start, much less win every start. So yeah, 30 games isn't happening. Dare you mention Denny McLain though? 

j. Mr. Ed died in 1970. I have a quiz for you: Do you know Mr. Ed’s real name? I mean, it wasn’t “Mr. Ed.” Mr. Ed was Mr. Ed’s stage name.

Plus, and this is a very important point, it's a horse. So the horse didn't even know it had a stage name. Why would anyone assume "Mr. Ed" was the horse's name simply because it appeared on a show called "Mr. Ed"? I don't assume Hugh Laurie's name is "Gregory House" because he appears on a show called "House."

(Peter King) "Here is a nugget of trivia for you: The direwolf on 'Game of Thrones' is not named 'Ghost.' In fact, that direwolf's name is 'I'm a Special Effect.' I bet you didn't know that."

k. Real name:

“Bamboo Harvester.”

Though a horse named "Mr. Ed" did publicity shots after Bamboo Harvester's death in 1970. So Mr. Ed's real name actually was "Mr. Ed" for a period of time. 

l. Not much of an NBA guy, as you all know.

And, as you all know, this means an observation about the NBA will immediately follow this comment. Peter can't not make an observation about the NBA without first distancing himself from the sport completely so his readers know just how stupid his following observation truly will be. 

But has any team ever been set up for a draft the way the Celtics are? They pick 3, 16, 23, 31, 35, 45, 51, 58. There are 60 picks in the draft.

The odds of the Celtics ever using all of those picks is very, very, very low. Not to mention, the best two players in the draft also happen to be positions of need for the Celtics, so they are stuck with a perceived fall-off in talent after the first two picks, as well as a group of guards to choose from that doesn't appear to be an immediate need for them. Plus, the Celtics don't have depth issues. They have a very deep team, but they need a player they can build the team around and don't necessarily need more players. 

n. The Knicks once owned the seventh, ninth and 37th overall picks in the draft. Traded them all away.

Eh, not really. The Knicks never owned these specific picks in the 2016 draft. They owned two first round picks and a second round pick in the 2016 NBA Draft, but it's not like they traded away the 7th, 9th, and 37th pick in the draft knowing those were the picks they had. The Knicks traded the 7th pick in 2011 in the Carmelo Anthony trade by allowing the Nuggets the option to switch 2016 first round picks. The Knicks traded the 9th pick in 2013 to the Raptors and the 37th pick has been through three teams and now I have a headache. My point is the Knicks didn't think they would be picking so high (low?) in the draft, so they didn't exactly trade these picks knowing where they would be picking in the 2016 NBA Draft. Still, it's awful team planning. No doubt. 

The Adieu Haiku

Ed, Wilbur: both dead.
Werder, don’t you dare change that
Twitter avatar

King, please for all that is wonderful and great in this life, in the name of the traditional family that you believe others want so badly even though they don't live the life of a traditional family and neither do you, stop writing haikus.

Dare to change that haiku.

0 comments MMQB Review: Just a Mini-Review Edition

I truly have not read a full MMQB in a few months until I read the one for this week. If I read MMQB then I make time to write about it and that leaves less time for other shit. Besides, this is more of a mini-review really. It's probably for the best because it cuts out all the boring commentary I tend to add. See? I'm not gone. I'm still here. Now if I can just remember how I do the whole fisking thing...

Peter starts off with a story about Adrian Peterson helping Palenstine, Texas. They have been hit with severe flooding and so Peter asks about that, and of course he asks about football too. Despite the fact Peterson just wants to win a championship, (It's what he thinks of everyday!)

Everything in me is championship, championship and then breaking records. It’s a part of me. I am pushing myself to the max to win a Super Bowl, and then to break Emmitt’s record and Eric Dickerson’s [single-season rushing] record. It is my everyday life, what I think of every day. Mostly it’s that Super Bowl. Then the whole world will remember you.”

It seems Peterson likes to talk and think of person records every day as well, just more than he thinks about winning the Super Bowl. I give you these quotes.

At 31, he’s trying to stave off what time does to all running backs. Peterson said: “I honestly think I can do this, and do it at a high level, until I’m 40.”

They ask how he got into football, and my name came up. I watched Adrian Peterson, and I was a Vikings fan. The things I’ve been through and what I’ve overcome, it’s good to know I can inspire people and change people’s lives. Here I am, a kid who grew up in Palestine, Texas, and now lives in Minnesota, and there’s a guy in Germany who flips on YouTube one day and gets inspired by me, and now he gets to play alongside the individual that inspired him to get into football.

Peterson: “Not to be cocky or anything, but I know, at 31, my end is going to be better than my beginning. One thing I know, and will remain true: These young guys will never outwork me. I put my body through the grind. Just knowing how my body remains healthy, age is not really affecting me. It’s my mindset. I don’t get into the 30-year-old running-back thing, that you’re done at 30. I am getting stronger with age.

Peterson: “I can, but will I? Honestly, I don’t think I will. Mentally, I don’t know. Once I get to 38, I don’t think I’ll have the same love of the game. Sometimes I get tired of training camp. I think I can endure five more [camps], but after that, I don’t know.”

But really, he's focused on the Super Bowl right now. And no, he isn't helping Palenstine, Texas through the flooding because they supported him through his legal troubles over the past few years. It doesn't work that way. Peterson says it was "a given" that Palenstine would support him through his legal troubles. He doesn't need to pay the city back because their support for him was a given. I mean, they better support him after all he's done for them. Wait, that came out wrong.

Hey look, a Sam Bradford picture where it seems like he's not looking at where he's throwing the football while making a ridiculous face!



(Sam Bradford): "No-look pass! Did you see that coach?"

(Doug Pederson) "You are benched Sam. There wasn't even a receiver on that side of the field."

(Sam Bradford pulls a money roll out of his uniform sleeve) "That's bullshit. When am I going to get a chance to prove what I can do? I'm holding out and not playing anymore until you make me the starter."

(Doug Pederson) "Okay, that's fine. You have been benched, so I don't care if you play during the games. Actually, I do not want you to play. That is why I just benched you. You will get fined for not showing up to pract---"

(Sam Bradford pulls a money roll out of his cleats and looks up in disbelief as Pederson talks to him) "Why would I not show up to practice? I love this team and I am dedicated to helping this team win games. I just want a chance for you to pay me a lot of money and then I get to show what I can do. If you don't pay me, how can I be expected to show you what I can do?"

(Doug Pederson) "You are still benched though."

(Sam Bradford) "But...I do still get all of my money, right? Plus, I mean, eventually...like at some point...I get a shot to show what I can do, but my money will be there no matter what, right? I'm a competitor. I need my money."

“Riders up!”

—Saints coach Sean Payton, giving the traditional instructions to jockeys before Saturday’s Kentucky Derby.

Then Sean Payton pulled out a baseball bat and bashed in the leg of every horse except the one he bet on, while Drew Brees claimed to know absolutely nothing about this. It's a shock to him!

In his hometown of Palestine, Texas, Adrian Peterson sponsors and funds three select youth football teams. The youngest, the bantam team, wears uniforms with the maroon and white of Palestine High. The next, the junior team, wears the red and white of Peterson’s Oklahoma Sooners. The oldest team, the senior squad, wears the purple and white of his Minnesota Vikings.

Maybe if there ends up being a fourth team that Peterson sponsors then that team could wear black and blue uniforms, the same color that Peterson's children end up being when they misbehave.

Mr. Starwood Preferred Member Travel Notes of the Week

So I was in Portland, Ore., for a couple of days last week. On my way out of town Thursday night, at the Portland airport (a fantastic, clean place with good food and drink),

I'm glad that's cleared up. I thought the Portland airport was a filthy, whorish place where there is a trough of human waste for passengers at the airport to drink from while they eat the remains of the dead birds found on planes that have landed. It's important when telling the story about losing a cell phone that Peter is clear he doesn't hate the airport. This isn't a "Marriott doesn't serve coffee until 6am" situation, but a "Peter is an idiot and set his phone down" situation. So there is no culpability on the part of the Portland airport. He won't call out the airport in his MMQB like he did to the Marriott. I'm not sure the Marriott has fully recovered from the vengeance Peter exacted upon it. 

I lost my cell phone. I was in a men’s room and put my phone down while washing my hands (it was sort of crowded in there),

So, because it was crowded in the restroom, Peter put his cell phone down. Is this what he means? If it weren't busy, he just would have held on to the phone?

"Boy, it's really busy in this airport. Maybe I'll set down my incredibly valuable list of contacts and phone numbers on this counter near water. That'll be real safe-like."

and I then used the air dryer on my hands for 15 to 20 seconds, and turned around and the phone was gone. Stupid me.

Okay, now I have several questions.

1. Why was the phone not in Peter's pocket?

2. If the phone was not in Peter's pocket, does this mean he was using the phone while taking a piss/shit? If so, whoever stole Peter's cell phone better sanitize the shit out of that thing.

3. Again, he put his phone down in a crowded bathroom and then TURNED HIS BACK TO THE PHONE? This was an intentional decision and not a desperate ploy to get his phone stolen?

4. I like how Peter clarified he was in "a" men's room, not "the" men's room. I enjoyed this. Don't ask why. As if maybe this wasn't a bathroom at all, but just a room for only men.

I looked in my backpack,

Fanny pack. Don't lie, Peter.

thinking maybe I’d put it there before going through security, though I was a pretty sure I hadn’t. Nothing. I looked on the floor and the counters and the tops of the air dryers. Nothing. If someone walked off with it, they were gone; the option was to either go out and yell in the terminal, “HEY! WHO STOLE MY PHONE?,” or to ask the nearest official-looking person about it. 

For someone who laid his phone down in a crowded bathroom and then turned his back on the phone, Peter recovered well.

"I know my options. Yell loudly at an airport terminal, which would gain the attention of passengers, employees and possibly the TSA agents or I can just ask someone if someone turned in a phone less than 30 seconds ago. You know what I'm going to do? I'll just follow this woman around the terminal and record her personal phone conversation in my notebook."

I said my cell phone had disappeared in the men’s room, and if someone turned it in, where would they turn it in? (Fruitless. Totally fruitless. But you want to try something, anything, when 1,433 phone numbers, luckily password-protected and saved in the cloud, get picked up by a stranger.)

I thought lost my phone in Vegas during a convention, so I can sympathize with Peter here. I was in a panic. Still, you can't just put your phone down in a bathroom.

LaGuardia to Minneapolis. Deep in coach.

Machine-gun laugher across the aisle, in the aisle seat.

Window-seat guy shows up. “Excuse me. I got the window seat.”

Machine-gun laugher: "Sure!”

Window-seat guy: “Thanks, buddy.”

 Machine-gun laugher: “Okay, bahahahahahahahahaha.”

Later, flight attendant comes by and asks choice of drink. He says seltzer. She asks if club soda is okay. He says, “Perfect.” With a soft, “Bahahahahahahaha!”

Machine-gun laugher: comfortable in his own laughter.

Peter King: comfortable in his own haughtiness.

Ten Things I Think I Think

1. I think the NFL-as-family thing, which has gotten badly beaten up in recent years, needs some resuscitation. So Roger Goodell sending brownies to Eli Apple’s mother and then the league leaking it and Tweeting about it … smart move. A bit over the top, but not bad.

I didn't hear about this story until now. So...this means to me Peter King is the leaker who is helping the NFL get good publicity. 

2. I think that’s a good extension by the Dolphins, signing pass-rusher Cam Wake through the end of the 2017 season. This is a player who’s overachieved for much of his career, averaging 10.8 sacks a year over the past six seasons—while missing 10 games over that period due to injury.

Has Wake overachieved if he has consistently played well over a six season period? Is that overachieving or simply just being a good football player?

This is why I can't read MMQB anymore. I semantics-to-death what Peter writes because sometimes he gets lazy mid-sentence.

3. I think Sam Bradford did the smart thing by reporting to the Eagles on Monday. He had zero support in any corner, and he was going to take a pasting for as long as he stayed away. Good move.

Great move by Bradford to stop being a baby and report to camp.

This is the life of Sam Bradford. He's made short of $90 million in his career while really not achieving too much, then he threatens to hold out of training camp and he gets complimented for not making a bad decision. It's like he can't go wrong.

Bradford could take hostages after he's robbed a bank. If he eventually let the hostages go without hurting them, he would be praised for the care he shows for his fellow man and allowed to keep the money he stole.

4. I think if I may leave a postscript on the inner workings of the Dallas draft room last week … So there’s been some stuff out there in the past few days that really doesn’t represent what happened in the draft room accurately.

Meaning: Jerry Jones called/emailed me and bitched about this, so I need to clear it up on his behalf.

6. I think grading a draft a day or two after it ends is asinine.

But making a power ranking of the best teams in the NFL during the upcoming season on June 1 is a stroke of writing genius. 

The two teams in the Super Bowl were #9 and #20 on the list.

7. I think I categorically agree with Mike Florio of Pro Football Talk: Any legitimacy of the NFL Network’s top 100 players is tarnished badly when Andrew Luck is “voted” number 92. How is Luck seven in 2015 and 92 in 2016? Because he got hurt last year? I pay scant attention to this thing anyway, but the Luck thing makes it certain I will pay it zero attention this year.

Yes, this completely and utterly opinion-based ranking that is made purely to get television ratings and to get people talking doesn't have legitimacy. Who would have thought it?

I'm glad Peter is standing up so strongly to the opinion-based sports industry. I presume this means he will be taking on the often-wrong opinion of Rodney Harrison while they work together on the NBC Sunday night football set? Or is that totally different?

8. I think this is one reason why Neil Hornsby and Pro Football Focus are pretty darned good: Last September, this is what Hornsby wrote about Jordan Reed, the up-and-coming tight end for Washington, for The MMQB: “It always surprises me no one seems to talk about Washington’s Jordan Reed. Drafted 22 places after [Kansas City’s Travis] Kelce, it often feels like Reed is an afterthought … Keep an eye on him because once Washington realizes what it has, he may not stay hidden much longer.”

Considering Jordan Reed has consistently been considered an outstanding talent that just can't seem to stay healthy, it's odd to me that Peter gives PFF credit for being all over Jordan Reed as a stroke of brilliance. Reed was not an afterthought, he was just injured a lot. His talent wasn't an issue ever. His health was always the question.

10. I think these are my non-football thoughts of the week:

h. Seriously? May 9 and the Phillies four games over .500? How’d that happen?

They won enough games to where they were four games over .500.

The only thing predictable about sports is the expectation from sportswriters that sports will be predictable, followed by their disbelief when unpredictability ensues.

n. Beernerdness: In Oregon, tried the Crux Saison (Crux Fermentation Project, Bend, Ore.) on tap and wasn’t blown away, but liked it. The best thing was how incredibly fresh it tasted. Lighter than most Saisons I’ve had.

It was so incredibly fresh and lighter than most other Saisons that Peter put his phone on top of bar to run to the restroom, then he went across the street for a sandwich, and came back to find his phone gone.

p. Saw “Trainwreck.” I guess I’m about two years too late, or whatever. First reaction: LeBron James was really good, really natural, really clever.

LeBron was so clever it was almost like he didn't come up with the words he was saying during the movie. LeBron was so clever it almost seemed like there was a person who specifically told him what words to say and when to say them. Almost.

v. Congrats to Nyquist.

Yes, congratulations...horse that cannot read nor has a clue it is being congratulated because it's an animal.

The Adieu Haiku

Justin Tuck is done.
Top player. Champ. Better guy.
Hire the man, Rog.

This was supposed to be a direct message to Roger Goodell on Twitter. Peter did the Commish a favor by not spoiling that the Rams were taking Jared Goff, so Goodell needs to hire Justin Tuck as a favor to Peter.

I wish this haiku was done. I think Peter only keeps them in MMQB out of spite at this point.

7 comments MMQB Review: MMQB Brought To You By Yahoo and the NFL Edition

Peter King still doesn't know what a factoid is and thinks that Johnny Manziel (who he doesn't know personally at all he admits) needs to do better in order to keep his NFL career alive. This week Peter talks about winning streaks, how Internet football is all the rage around the world, discusses the Dolphins turnaround under the bro Dan Campbell, and he writes "What a country" because there is hockey in Brooklyn. Peter King gets to write a weekly column AND hockey is in non-traditional cities. WHAT A COUNTRY THIS IS! Except for the gun violence, of course. The gun violence and the people who insist on acting in a way while in public that Peter disproves of. Those people who talk on the phone while running in the park can fall into a lake, but otherwise, what a country!

Sunday was a historic day in the NFL, a little bit on the field, and a big bit off. On: Carolina’s 27-16 win over the Eagles means the NFL has five 6-0 teams simultaneously for the first time in league history—Carolina, Cincinnati, Denver, Green Bay and New England.

One team sticks out pretty badly on the list as not belonging. Probably the team that can't throw the football very well and has had a somewhat shaky time in the passing game with a thrice-rejected wide receiver as their #1 receiver.

And though Buffalo-Jacksonville in London wasn’t a marquee game, it accomplished just what the NFL and Yahoo, the provider, had hoped. Yahoo announced that it had 15.6 million unique viewers and 33.6 million total live streams of the game; roughly 33% of that viewership came from outside the U.S.

This goes to show that if the NFL live streams one game between two non-playoff teams then people will watch the game possibly. Also, it shows that Peter King is going to sound like he is doing PR for the NFL and Yahoo in this MMQB. You know I have been somewhat suspicious about the NFL trying so damn hard to have success overseas, but Peter King is very, very fucking impressed with this first live stream result. This could open up the NFL to being able to live stream games and then not have games on television anymore. Which means NFL fans in the United States, you know, the people who buy the vast majority of the apparel, season tickets and actually support these teams, can all huddle around a computer or tablet (maybe even Roku!) at a party to watch a game stream. Sounds like fun.

And there’s little doubt that, though the league treats its 256 regular-season games like home-TV gold, it’s likely to parcel out more than one game to an internet company in 2016.

Probably not a bad idea. I bet the NFL's dream is to have teams in several different countries and never actually show the games on television. They can just live stream them all and everything will be great because people in other countries TOTALLY don't know that the NFL is a clusterfuck when it comes to concussions and doling out punishment to players who step outside the law or choose to deflate a football by a few PSI. Foreigners are so blind to all the NFL's faults. That's the ideal market for the NFL. 

Let’s begin with the stories of the week, from south Florida, New England, Charlotte, London, Indianapolis, New Jersey and Seattle, with stuff about donuts, the ticking time bomb that is Greg Hardy, and the deep scar that won’t be leaving Lovie Smith anytime soon.

Man, having Rex Grossman as his quarterback in Chicago has really left an impression on Lovie Smith. I bet he has nightmares about Grossman randomly throwing the ball deep in the hopes of a completion. 

Greg Hardy. I think the sooner we realize that Hardy is a member of the Dallas Cowboys only and absolutely only because he is a very good defensive end with rare pass-rush skills, the better off we’ll be.

Hey Peter, I think "we" already knew that Hardy is on the Cowboys roster because he's good at football and don't need to be reminded of this. If Hardy had a down year before his legal issues, like Ray Rice had, then maybe he wouldn't be defended and enabled like the Cowboys are doing for him. It's never been unclear as to why Hardy is with the Cowboys. If he couldn't play, he wouldn't be on the Cowboys roster. 

The video put on air by Mike Florio at NBC on Sunday night, showing Hardy in a sideline conflagration with Dallas special-teams coach Rich Bisaccia—slapping the clipboard in the coach’s hand threateningly, causing the coach to shove Hardy and Hardy to get in his face—showed a player bordering on out of control.

Yeah, but he is a team leader according to Jerry Jones. This is just an example of Hardy being a leader and telling the special teams coach that as a leader of the Cowboys team he isn't going to give a flying fuck what he thinks and he feels the need to be disrespectful in order to prove just how much of a team leader he is.

Hardy is a troubled guy and enabling his behavior, as has been done during parts of his NFL career isn't going to help this situation stay in control. 

I don't expect the Cowboys to cut Hardy. He plays too well. But it would be nice if, instead of saying things like what a great and fiery competitor he is, someone with the Cowboys would say: “If Hardy continues to act volcanic, he’s going to have to find somewhere else to play. If anyone will have him.”

Okay, well that's stupid Peter. The Cowboys are never going to publicly say that no one else will want Hardy nor will they say publicly he's on the edge of not being a Cowboy anymore. Should they? Possibly, but I don't think any NFL teams would call out a player on the team in this fashion. If a Cowboys player did it, and I'm sure at least one thinks it, then he knows his comments would be chum in the water for a circus surrounding the team. These types of comments just aren't happening. 

Midway through the fourth quarter in a rout of Houston, Tannehill threw a 10-yard out pass to backup tight end Dion Sims. It was high, but Sims raised one hand and the ball bounced off it. Had he put both hands up, who knows? But it was a catchable ball, for sure. So Tannehill finished 18 of 19 for 282 yards with four touchdowns (all in the first 16 minutes) and no interceptions.

Player on the rise. Tannehill should play for the Rams so they could have a player on the rise for a team on the rise. In all non-snark, Tannehill has plenty of good players around him and it's about time the Dolphins let him play to the strengths of those players around Tannehill. Maybe now Tannehill won't feel the need to berate practice squad players, though I'm sure that report was totally untrue. 

Afterward I said to Tannehill it was a shame about that 19th throw. “What’s that?” he said. You know, I said, the fact that it ruined his perfect day. He acted as if it wasn’t a big deal, because of the way the day was game-planned.

Peter loves to do this shit. He loves to be cutesy by bringing up the one thing that went wrong on an otherwise flawless day when interviewing a player, as if no one but Peter is aware that one thing went wrong. It's like Peter wants the player to come off as a team player and be like, "My God, you are so smart to notice this one thing I didn't notice about my or the team's performance today." Why the fuck would Tannehill think this missed pass was a big deal when the Dolphins played so well otherwise? 

Obviously, the coaching change in Miami is agreeing with Tannehill. He’s an 83.3 percent passer in the two games since Dan Campbell took over. “He wants us to play like we played as kids, with a love of the game,” Tannehill said.

Peter King has a massive fucking erection right now. Ryan Tannehill says Dan Campbell wants the Dolphins to play the game like kids, precocious little kids who haven't a hair on their body from puberty and don't know the evils of life and how disappointing it is to grow up and be a man. Playing like kids for the love of the game as Peter stands to side and wonders why can't HE be a little kid. Then he could play the game like a little kid like Tannehill does. They could both be little kids, hugging after a touchdown, giving half-fives and grabbing some lemonade and hoping mom will let Ryan sleep over on a school night. Just this once. Brett Favre played the game like a child and that's how Dan Campbell wants the Dolphins to play, just like precocious little kids. Nothing is better in Peter's mind than watching kids play sports, even if he has to stay by law on the other side of the fence and at least 250 yards away from the action. 

Dan Campbell. Stop saying, “Who cares? He’s beaten Tennessee and Houston, and they stink.”

I mean, I'm not saying that, but this is still a relevant point. Even if Joe Philbin was a disaster as a coach, it doesn't mean the Dolphins aren't playing above their head right now. Maybe not, but it's possible the Dolphins aren't as good as they have shown themselves to be over the last two games and Joe Philbin was terrible at his job. There is an opinion in between these two that could be factual. 

Part of my job at NBC on Sundays is to pay particularly close attention to the 1 p.m. ET games before production work for the Football Night show begins in earnest. And the difference in the Dolphins has been startling. One sack in the first four games. Ten sacks in the two games since Campbell took over. Clearly the players are playing with more drive, more passion. If you don’t love what you’re doing, it’s going to show in your work, negatively. And it’s clear these players like playing for the new boss.

Well, the Dolphins also claimed to like playing for Joe Philbin at one point. Remember Cameron Wake with his "Philbin comes and talks to us at night and seems to really care for us now" comments? The Dolphins are now winning, which means they like playing for their coach. 

Tom Brady. The Patriots are 6-0. Brady has thrown one interception, in 251 passes. For those inclined to hate him, or treat him the way so many baseball fans treat Alex Rodriguez, for instance, nothing he does will change your mind about him.

I don't know if I understand the A-Rod comparison here, but that may just be me. Even some Yankees fans don't like A-Rod, while Patriots fans are fiercely protective of Brady. I guess it's an easy comparison because they are both considered cheaters. 

Rex Ryan. The Bills had the fourth-best defense, statistically, in football last year, and Ryan said in the spring, “I know we’ll be better this year.” They’re 11th this morning. Players are grousing about roles. The quarterback who played Sunday, EJ Manuel, shows occasional flashes of good deep-ball throwing, but he cannot be saved.

Another flashback moment...remember last year when Peter suggested that E.J. Manuel should just say "fuck it" and throw the ball deep down the field? I'm not sure what that memory has much to do with anything right now, but Peter's suggestion that Manuel can't be saved and he's good at throwing a deep ball every once in a while just made me remember it. 

Kawann Short. Short is the one demanding more attention these days, and he’s proving that Gettleman was smart to eschew a receiver or cornerback early in that ’13 draft. When you can get quick big guys on the defensive front, Gettleman believes you never pass on them—and the pick of Short is proving him right.

Actually, when a team can get quick big guys on the defensive front, I think nearly every GM thinks you can't pass on these types of players. It's not just Gettleman who is smart enough to think, "Man, that big guy sure is fat, fast and dominant. Perhaps I should try to acquire him through the draft." 

The great live-streaming experiment.

“First,” said Brian Rolapp, “we wouldn’t call it an experiment. We waited until now because we wanted to make sure the internet could handle it;

Of course. I mean, so many people have dial-up phones and Internet these days that the NFL and Yahoo had to make sure these people who wanted to watch the Buffalo-Jacksonville game had enough free hours of AOL to watch the entire game. 

My experiment with Bills-Jags on Yahoo, 

Geez Peter, it's not an experiment!

I suppose, was not unlike others in the United States with things to do on Sunday morning. In my Manhattan East Side apartment, I tried two devices, a laptop and a smart phone, just before the game kicked off. Got into Yahoo.com immediately on both, and painlessly got the game up in time to see Kevin Harlan and Rich Gannon give me a quick preview.

In Peter's "Manhattan East Side apartment" as opposed to simply, "my apartment," because it's important to know the exact location of Peter's apartment in order for this story about Internet to be told. Without Peter mentioning he lives on the East Side, I would have been totally confused. 

Rolapp and some NFL employees watched from a conference room on Park Avenue. “We had it up on laptops, tablets, Surfaces, iPhones, Roku, Xbox, everything we could think of,” he said, “and the stream held up well on all of them.”

I'm amazed to hear the NFL didn't have problems with the live stream video of the NFL football game that is the beginning of a new era in how the NFL presents their product to consumers. Here I thought the NFL would report the live stream didn't work at all and they are giving up trying to live stream games and any revenue they may go along with it. 

So the NFL wanted to see three things when it decided to take one of its three Sunday morning games from London and show it free on the internet only,

1. Will it lead to the league making more money?

2. Is there a way to present this product while also taking away a home game from one of the current NFL teams while also increasing how much money the NFL makes?

3. Will it lead to additional revenue for the NFL?

Two: The league wanted to see if there was an appetite for the game in some of the places where the NFL is underserved. Russia and China, for instance, and a Sunday morning game in Eastern Time would be a Sunday evening prime-time game in large swaths of Asia.

You know what? Fuck it, let's just put an NFL team in Taiwan. Why not? This live stream did well in that country, so obviously that means an entire NFL team can be supported in the country. Actually, here is a better idea. What if each NFL team has to play one international home game every year? Each team will play seven home regular season games per year and eight road games with an international game in there as a home game. Of course, season ticket holders will still be charged for 10 home games. 

Three: Would it all go smoothly enough so that the project might expand and more games would be exclusively streamed to the net beginning next year?

And if it goes smoothly once, why not expand the project to see if the Internet can handle more games exclusively streamed to the net? What if the NFL just stopped having football games in actual stadiums, still charged money to watch the games on the Internet, and simply played games in an empty venue where every person who would normally watch the game in the stadium has to pay to watch it on a computer? Of course, season ticket holders will still be charged extra for the 10 games they would go to if they actually were able to attend any of these games. 

The vast majority during the regular season and post-season are spoken for through 2020 and 2021. But there are three Sunday games (currently the early-window London games, starting at 9:30 a.m. ET) available, and there will be the Thursday night package in 2016; CBS is on a one-year deal for Thursdays in 2015, simulcasting with NFL Network and then ceding to NFL Network alone beginning in Week 9. That 16-game package is now up for negotiation for 2016 and beyond.

Money! Money! Money! 

I think it’s likely there could be a Sunday game plus at least one Thursday game headed for the internet in 2016.

It's a great idea actually. Usually the Thursday night games are shit, so why not share that shit with the rest of the world that doesn't have CBS or NFL Network? 

The MMQB asked fans around the world who watched the game on Sunday to send us their views of the streaming experience. Their responses were what you’d think if you watched: positive.

It's impossible for Peter to ignore this live streaming non-experiment of course, but it does sometimes feel like he's doing PR for the NFL and Yahoo in this MMQB. Nary a negative word was spoken about the live stream. Apparently no person in the world had an issue viewing the live stream. 

Tyrone Carriaga
Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam
Gametime: 8:30 p.m. Sunday

“I watched at home using Apple TV. I watched because I do not see a live game as part of the TV package here. The start time was convenient as well. It looked like standard definition most of the game.

Standard definition? Where can I sign up for watching sports in standard definition? I have a television that I paid $2000 for which shows the best picture possible, but if I can get sports in standard definition instead of high definition then I'd like to sign up for this immediately! 

The rest of the comments are basically an advertisement for Yahoo and the NFL, including:

“I watched at home, on my phone and then my laptop. I try to watch as many games as I can. Big NFL fan. Playing at Wembley adds a little something extra. It's great to see a soccer temple being used for football. The quality was excellent. I expected a less-fluent transmission, but it turned out to be flawless.

Overall it was good. Quality on par with NFL Game Pass [the NFL’s subscription streaming service for fans outside the U.S. and Mexico]. No hassle, just click the link and it worked.”

I'll take any bit of NFL football any way I can.

I feel like the famous picture of Peter beside Roger Goodell eating lunch should be somewhere in this MMQB. It is not though, much to my dismay.

Watching NFL games on TV in Brazil is a very choppy experience: Between snaps (commercial breaks, timeouts, on-field reporting etc.), a lot of footage you see in the U.S. doesn't get televised here, so the viewing experience is not as good. The online stream was a smooth and consistent viewing experience. It was great. Much better than expected. Yahoo outdid themselves on the streaming quality.”

What if the NFL televised games on the Internet AND on a regular television? Or would that not work because it would mix revenue streams too much? I'm glad the game was a success, but it was one game, so I'm not jumping out of my seat with excitement quite yet. But Peter wants everyone who reads MMQB to know this non-experiment was a success. There was no hassle and it was in standard definition. All dreams have come true. 

More progress needs to be made. The co-chair of the NFL’s Head, Neck and Spine Committee, Seattle-based doctor Richard Ellenbogen, was in London for the conference. He is also one of the NFL’s unaffiliated head-trauma experts on the sidelines, and has the power to take a player off the field if he sees the player wobbly or otherwise showing symptoms of a concussion.

He has "the power" to do this. I'm a little confused as to how this gentleman is the co-chair of an NFL committee, but also unaffiliated with the NFL. Perhaps I'm just stupid. It just seems if he is the co-chair of an NFL committee then he is affiliated with the NFL in some way. 

I asked Ellenbogen if he ever felt like he, and those in the think tank Saturday, held the future of football and perhaps other contact sports in their hands. It’s clear that football is under such fire that its existence could be threatened if the fathers of the game don’t do more for the health and safety of players.

Because, yes Peter, Ellenbogen is going to say the NFL's existence would be threatened if they don't do more for the health and safety of the players. He's the co-chair of an NFL Head, Neck and Spine Committee, but he will also pronounce the league DOA if he and the rest of his committee don't do more. I simply don't believe Ellenbogen would make it sound like the future of the NFL is in his hands, because that makes the situation sound dire. The NFL disapproves of this. 

“No question it’s important,” Ellenbogen said. “But the unintended consequences of getting rid of contact sports would be an unmitigated disaster. Whatever we do, please do not have the conversation about banning these [contact] sports. The benefits of sports—for physical health, for the benefits of being on a team—far outweigh the risks. I can’t even imagine the consequences if enrollment started declining in sports like football and lacrosse.”

Ah yes, a doctor who sounds like he is carrying water for the NFL. The benefit of sports OVERALL far outweigh the risks, but the risks of individual sports could outweigh the benefits of those sports. It is not as if lacrosse, football or any other sports considered "dangerous" were no longer active sports that kids and adults would have no other way of being in good physical health or exercising in any fashion. Contact sports aren't the only sports which provide good physical benefits to those who participate in sports. There are plenty of other sports that adults and children could play which would provide an opportunity for good physical health. I'm not saying to ban football, but this doctor isn't doing too much to convince me he's not carrying water for the NFL by answering a question this way. Ellenbogen is making it sound like there are no other options for those who want to exercise, other than these contact sports. 

“All losses hurt. Some leave a deep scar. This is one of those.”

—Tampa Bay coach Lovie Smith. The Bucs blew a 24-0 lead at Washington and lost, 31-30.

This may not be a good thing for a head coach to say. The last thing a head coach usually wants is for his players to dwell on a difficult loss. Great way to set an example for a young quarterback and Lovie's team by saying a loss left a deep scar. Even if it's true, does Lovie really want his team focusing on the tough loss and not trying to move on to the next game? Kudos to him for being honest, I guess. 

“If they trade me, I’d quit today.”

—Baltimore wide receiver Steve Smith Sr., perhaps nervous that one of the teams most inclined to trade in recent NFL history—the Ravens and their pragmatic GM, Ozzie Newsome—are on the verge of going 1-6 with the trading deadline eight days away. He made his remarks to the team’s website.

I don't believe Smith would retire if he were traded. Still, one can see why the Panthers inexplicably released Smith two seasons ago. It's not that he's a bad guy by any measure, but he can be difficult at times. This is one of those times. He'd rather continue to play on a losing team than move teams halfway through his last season in the NFL in an effort to get a Super Bowl ring. 

DEFENSIVE PLAYER OF THE WEEK

Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie, cornerback, New York Giants. There’s the Matt Cassel factor here—he threw interceptions on three straight series midway through the Giants’ 27-20 win over the Cowboys on Sunday in New Jersey—but credit Rodgers-Cromartie for being in the right place at the right time for two picks totaling 70 return yards and one touchdown.

The important thing to note here is that Peter believes Matt Cassel was terrible in his only start this season, yet later in MMQB Peter will make it seems like the Bills made a mistake by trading Cassel at the beginning of the season and keeping E.J. Manuel. I guess the terrible QB the Bills traded is better than the terrible QB on the Bills' roster. 

GOAT OF THE WEEK

The Houston Texans. Just an awful performance, falling behind 41-0, being outgained at one point 275-0. Time to do the proverbial look-selves-in-the-mirror and the gut-check and, well, all the other clichés.

I can't imagine what could go wrong when the Texans collect every backup quarterback the Patriots didn't want. How can Bill O'Brien fail as a head coach? He is affiliated with the Patriots AND he seemed like such a decisive team leader when the cameras were rolling for "Hard Knocks." It's almost like cameras can lie. 

EJ Manuel, quarterback, Buffalo.

He followed that up with interceptions on the next two series, including one right into the arms of Telvin Smith, who returned it for a touchdown. Great end zone view on the Yahoo stream, with Manuel staring the entire time at the spot he threw to, and Smith baiting and waiting. Easy pick.

Excellent view by that Yahoo stream. Enough about football, Peter wants to talk some more about Yahoo and how great the stream was of the Bills and Jaguars game. You could see, in standard definition, by how much Blake Bortles was overthrowing his receivers. What a country! No, because this was an international broadcast, what a world!

Buffalo’s worst nightmare—first when drafting Manuel in 2013, then when dealing Matt Cassel to Dallas for a 2017 fifth-round pick.

Is this their worst nightmare? Is Matt Cassel playing for the Bills really what would fix their season? Cassel didn't exactly blow the roof off the joint in his one start with the Cowboys behind a pretty good Cowboys offensive line. Is the crappy QB not on the roster really a better option than the crappy QB on the Bills' roster? 

You may not recall this. It’s been almost 10 years. But when the Patriots decided to let Adam Vinatieri go in free agency, the team was criticized in some corners for not ponying up to re-sign the kicker, who’d been the epitome of clutch.

I remember it vividly. Shockingly, someone other than Peter King can recall events that occurred longer than a few years ago. It comes as a huge surprise to Peter this is true. 

• In Vinatieri’s six years (regular-season and post-season) playing for Bill Belichick, he made 82.9 percent of his field goals.

• In Gostkowski’s 10 years playing for Belichick, he has made 87.7 percent of his field goals.

Yeah, but Vinatieri was the epitome of clutch, so that has to count for something, right? 

In the last 10 games against each team in their division, the Patriots are:

• 8-2 against the Jets.

• 8-2 against the Dolphins.

• 8-2 against the Bills.

Again I will ask, is this a product of the Patriots being great or the division not being very good? The AFC South is crap and the Colts have been feeding from that division for quite a few years now, but when criticizing teams like the Seahawks who make the playoffs at 7-9 just remember there may be a 12-4 team that made the playoffs based on competing in a shitty division. 

Mr. Starwood Preferred Member Travel Note of the Week

I traveled six miles Friday evening to Barclays Center—what a pleasant surprise, seeing Mr. and Mrs. Brasco, Don and Alissa Banks, there—to watch an Islanders hockey game. Hockey in Brooklyn. What a country.

Rich white people all got to the same hockey game in Brooklyn. Peter left his apartment on the East Side and went to this hockey game. What a country to see someone that Peter knows at a hockey game! What a world! What a planet! What a solar system!

The place wasn’t invented for hockey. I feel for the fans who have to travel from the Island to see the Islanders.

The venue sucked. What a country. 

Bonus: The drinks and food are really good there. Brooklyn Lager on tap, with a slice of square Williamsburg Pizza, terrific crust and fairly light, complete with fresh basil.

The pizza had good crust and fresh basil? So basically it was...pizza? 

I just saw the whole video of Cowboys Greg Hardy on the sidelines. He is totally out of control going after one of their coaches. Terrible.

— Tony Dungy (@TonyDungy) October 26, 2015

I was unsure if this was terrible or not, but now that the Football Coach Jesus says it is, then I guess Greg Hardy's behavior was terrible. I bet Tony Dungy wants to mentor Greg Hardy. That is Dungy's thing. He wants to mentor. Perhaps someone should mentor Dungy on how to win more than one Super Bowl with Peyton Manning. 

Ten Things I Think I Think

1. I think this is what I liked about Week 7:

c. Fantastic throw, catch and lunge for the touchdown by the Jags’ Blake Bortles and Allen Robinson on the first touchdown of Sunday.

Ask Davon House, Blake Bortles can throw the ball just like Aaron Rodgers. Just minus the talent, throwing ability, feel for the pass rush and any other attribute that makes Rodgers so great. 

i. Good CBS graphic in the first half at Foxboro: Pats 46-4 in their previous 50 home games, best 50-game home record in the league in at least the past 50 years.

BREAKING NEWS: The Patriots are a really good team. 

m. The tip-of-the-fingertips catch by Gary Barnidge, Cleveland’s emerging stalwart tight end. (You just might read about him very soon at The MMQB.)

Don't tease us about this, Peter. I bet Barnidge is a free agent after this season and Peter wants to describe how Marvin Demoff (I have no idea if that is Barnidge's agent or not) can structure a compensation package exactly to where the Browns won't be able to compete with it. 

p. Incredible effort by Detroit’s Ziggy Ansah, sprinting 72 yards to catch Adrian Peterson and knock him out of bounds at the 3-yard line. It saved Detroit four points. Instead of Peterson scoring a touchdown, the Vikes settled for a field goal.

This note about great hustle from Ansah will not appear in TMQ, because Ansah is a first round glory boy pick. If it does show up, I'm sure Peter would focus on how Peterson, a highly-drafted glory boy who brags about how great he is, was caught from behind. 

w. The transcendent year Josh Norman is having for Carolina. Did you see the pass-breakup he had near the end of the first half, which looked absolutely like the touchdown the Eagles desperately needed? Norman sold out, flicked it away, and saved four points; the frustrated Eagles settled for a field goal.

Norman made a great play, but he was sort of beaten. He had no choice at the time but to sell out and dive to block the pass away from the Eagles player. 

2. I think this is what I didn’t like about Week 7:

b. Folks online (Twitter, elsewhere) grousing they couldn’t watch the Buffalo-Jacksonville on their big screens. Stop. Just stop. Buffalo-Jacksonville, first of all. Second: It’s bonus football, in a specially created window because it’s a London game. Third: 95 percent of the complainers would never have watched this game anyway. So stop.

I love how Peter writes this. He's really pushing this Yahoo live stream isn't he? Peter wants to write about how popular the game was, while also dismissing the game as not being worth showing on television because it is Buffalo-Jacksonville. Apparently Buffalo-Jacksonville is good enough to be watched by 30 million+ people online, but not good enough to be shown on the television. This is as opposed to all those great games played in London that have been televised. You know, all those games between two teams that don't have winning records.

I actually tried to watch the game, but didn't feel like watching it on my computer. I did not complain about it, but I can understand why some people may have. Peter doesn't think this complaints are worth much though, because 95% (and that's an exact number) would not have watched this game anyway.

k. Brandon LaFell’s hands in his first game back from injury for New England. Four first-half drops. Six for the game.

Brandon LaFell at his worst. Hands of stone. 

n. Valuable and versatile Carolina rookie hurricane Shaq Thompson (knee), who’s been an eye-opening addition, sitting on Sunday night.

q. The Bills’ inactive list for Sunday: the starting quarterback (Tyrod Taylor), two starting-caliber wideouts (Sammy Watkins, Percy Harvin), one of the best defensive tackles in football (Kyle Williams), a starting offensive tackle (Seantrel Henderson), and an emerging running back (Karlos Williams).

Players get hurt. This is why an 18 game schedule would never work. I'm not sure the playoffs would be much fun to watch if the NFL went to an 18 game schedule. 

y. Not to harp on this stat,

Peter will now harp on this stat. As soon as he says he doesn't want to or won't do something, he tends to do that exact thing. 

but there’s a symmetry to the Colts in the Pagano/Luck Era now: Indy is 20-20 in games outside the division, including playoffs.

I mean, it was just last year that Peter was talking about what a great coach Chuck Pagano is and all of that. Now Peter is pointing out how the Colts can't beat teams that aren't in their division. Life comes at you fast. 

Though his production has plummeted, he’s gotten paid. In his three post-Vikings seasons, Harvin has been paid $31.5 million. Comparing his production as a Viking to his production with the Seahawks, Jets and Bills:

• Vikings (54 games): 387 touches from scrimmage, 10.3 yards per touch, 24 touchdowns … 27.9 yards per kick return, five touchdowns.

• Seahawks, Jets, Bills (19 games): 109 touches from scrimmage, 8.7 yards per touch, three touchdowns … 24.8 yards per kick return, no touchdowns.

He's the Josh Freeman of wide receivers. Of course, Peter won't harp on Harvin's lack of production as he did for Freeman's lack of production because Harvin didn't help to get Peter's buddy fired. 

8. I think if you believe Sunday was the end of the Jets for this season, after the Patriots made sure all is back to normal in the AFC East with a home win over New York, consider these points:

I don't know if anyone thought this was the end of the Jets for the season. I'm not sure why Peter is writing this. 

• The Jets are 4-2.

• In the next seven weeks, they play teams with a combined record of 18-28: at Oakland (3-3), Jacksonville (2-5), Buffalo (3-4), at Houston (2-5), Miami (3-3), at the Giants (4-3), and Tennessee (1-5).

Tell me why it’s unlikely the Jets could be 10-3 entering the final three games of the season: a fascinating Week 15 Saturday night game at Dallas (with Tony Romo, presumably, back), the Patriots at home two days after Christmas, and a nippy affair at Buffalo three days into 2016. I’m just saying I certainly don't consider the AFC East race to be wide open, but it might not be over yet.

Peter, you are the one who is talking about how dominant the Patriots have been in their division. Not many other people are claiming the AFC race is over. You are countering an argument that I'm not sure many people are making. 

10. I think these are my non-NFL thoughts of the week:

g. RIP Cory Wells, one of the lead singers of Three Dog Night. I show my age here, but I loved that band. “Shambala” and “Mama Told Me Not To Com,” were two of Wells’ best.

"Mama Told Me Not to Com" was the first song to encourage people to stay off the Internet. It's the anti-technology song to end all anti-technology songs. Mama told him not to com, but he logged on anyway. Probably to watch the Buffalo-Jacksonville live stream. 

k. Did you see the Georgia Tech player, waving teammates away from the loose ball that would become a return for the winning touchdown of Florida State-Georgia Tech? Good thing at least one Yellow Jacket paid no attention. Coaches: Don’t assume your players know all the rules. 

NFL players don't know the rules. There is evidence the officials in the NFL don't know the rules. So this doesn't surprise me the players in college and the NFL may not know the rules. 

m. Beernerdness: Had a Sidewinder Southwest Pale Ale (Revolver Brewing, Granbury, Texas), made with water from an aquifer on the property of the brewery—and a hint of agave, which is a first for me in a beer, I think—and really enjoyed it.

Peter drank a pale ale! This was a beer that didn't require a fruit or anything like a slice of an orange in it to taste good! This is progress!

n. Hockey’s a strange game. The Devils lost their first four games, 3-1, 5-3, 3-1 and 2-1. In the past week, they won their next four: 2-1, 3-2, 5-4 and 4-2.

It's crazy that one result for a team doesn't mean that team will have the result in every single game. How amazing that professional sports teams will play well or play poorly over short stretches of the season. What a country. Only in hockey. 

The Adieu Haiku

The byes wreak havoc.
No Bengals, Packers, Broncos.
Week seven: quite meh.

There are six undefeated teams, but none of the undefeated teams were interesting enough for Peter. Much like the Adieu Haiku, Week 7 was "meh." In fact, the best thing about the week was the Yahoo live stream. What a great success for the NFL! Has Peter mentioned what a great success it was? He really enjoyed watching it in his apartment on the East Side of Manhattan.