I enjoy reviewing Mel Kiper's draft grades after a few years to see what he was incredibly wrong and incredibly right about. I also like to mock the grades he gives to a draft and mock the comments he makes about each player. He is an expert, so it's fun to see what an "expert" like him thought of a draft. Usually, Mel just gives each team a high grade. So I figure I would go through Chad Ford's draft grades as well. Guess what? Chad Ford gives every team high grades too. For the 2003 draft he gave the lowest grade as a "C-" while giving 19 "A" and "B" grades. I guess everyone got a ribbon in this draft too...except not really. There were some really bad drafts in 2003. But, of course, in an effort to make a mockery of draft grades that are already a mockery, Chad Ford didn't pan any team's draft. Like I say about Mel Kiper, it's better to be wrong while being positive than to be negative about a player and be wrong. No one remember when Chad Ford said Brandon Hunter would be a good pick (okay, people remember his love for Darko), but they will remember if he had said Carmelo Anthony would be a bust. Take no chances in giving your opinion and you will be rewarded.
After 58 picks and several trades Thursday night, ESPN Insider Chad Ford handed out his draft-night grades:
For an organization that loves to embrace debate, the draft experts with ESPN certainly stay pretty vanilla with their draft grades. Not that I'm complaining that Chad Ford doesn't embrace debate, but no team did well below average in the draft? Ford even gives "incomplete" grades instead of handing out a "D" or "F." Thankfully no one got their feelings hurt.
Atlanta Hawks
Round 1: Boris Diaw, SG, France (No. 21)
Round 2: Travis Hansen, G, BYU (No. 37)
Boris Diaw was a shooting guard coming out of France. Interesting.
Grade: A-
Hansen only played two years in the NBA, though Diaw was traded for Joe Johnson, which means drafting Boris Diaw is how the Hawks went about overpaying Joe Johnson. That's a lot of information, but this isn't an "A-" draft.
Boston Celtics
Round 1: Marcus Banks, G, UNLV (No. 13)
Round 1: Kendrick Perkins, C, Ozen HS (No. 27)
Round 2: Brandon Hunter, F, Ohio (No. 56)
I promised that I'd give the Celtics an "F" if they took Banks and
Perkins at No. 16 and No. 20. They traded down for Perkins and got him
in a more reasonable range, so I upped the grade a bit.
For upped the grade "a bit" from an "F" to a "C." A fucking "C" is upping the grade "a bit." For those who haven't ever attended any type of school above elementary school (that would be no one), if a teacher/professor ups your grade "a bit" from an "F" then you probably aren't expecting for your failing work to all of a sudden become average work. But hey, Chad Ford was so impressed the Celtics got Kendrick Perkins seven picks later than he expected it moved them up two letter grades. Not that Ford makes things up as he goes along of course.
I like Banks' toughness and his ability to get to the basket, but I'm not sure he's that big an upgrade over J.R. Bremer.
I'm going to leave this here with a comment. This is like saying, "I like the taste of cat shit on a sandwich, but I'm not sure it tastes better than horseshit on a bagel." Either option sucks.
In the end, I wonder if the Celtics will get any better this year because of the draft.
Grade: C
One would think if Ford wasn't sure a team got better in the draft that he isn't grading an average draft. One would think absolutely wrong. Apparently a draft where a team doesn't get better is an average draft. Actually, it probably is an average draft from a macro level in that teams on average probably don't get a ton better based on their draft, but that's not how grades for the draft are supposed to work. It's not a "C" draft if the best you can do with two first round picks is Kendrick Perkins.
Chicago Bulls
Round 1: Kirk Hinrich, G, Kansas (No. 7)
Round 2: Mario Austin, F, Mississippi St. (No. 36)
Round 2: Tommy Smith, F, Arizona St. (No. 53)
The Kirk Hinrich pick is a bit of a head-scratcher. I love Hinrich, but
I'm not sure how he fits with Jamal Crawford. They needed a bigger two
guard who could score and defend. They passed on Mickael Pietrus, a
player who could've given them that. Still, Hinrich's versatile enough
to play the point and the two.
Ah yes, the days when Jamal Crawford and Kirk Hinrich had to fit in together.
I like Austin in the second round, though I wonder if he'll ever see the light of day behind Tyson Chandler and Eddy Curry.
Well, it was hard to see anything behind Eddy Curry. You know, because he was so fat. Being behind him was never recommended.
Neither second round pick made the team and Ford gave this draft a "B-." This is sort of a high grade for a team whose first round pick he didn't particularly like.
Cleveland Cavaliers
Round 1: LeBron James, G, St. Vincent-St. Mary HS (No. 1)
Round 2: Jason Kapono, F, UCLA (No. 31)
They get an "A" for LeBron, but I thought they really passed up on a
chance to get better in the post. I think Jerome Beasley was a real
sleeper here and would've been a nice complement to Carlos Boozer.
Not that Jason Kapono was the greatest player ever, but the only impact Jerome Beasley made in the NBA was being mentioned several times in the draft grades that Chad Ford gave out.
Grade: A-
You draft a Hall of Famer (even if by default), then you get an "A" in my book. What's annoying to me is how Ford criticizes the pick of Kapono. To find a guy in the second round who has one elite skill, that's a win in my opinion.
Dallas Mavericks
Round 1: Josh Howard, F, Wake Forest (No. 29)
They got a steal with Josh Howard late in the first. He's the type of
all-purpose guy who's thrived in Dallas the past few years.
Credit where credit is due here. Howard was really good for a while. But.................Ford just couldn't quite put aside his love for international players all the way.
I'm a little surprised they left more physical post players such as Mario Austin, Zaur Pachulia and Malick Badiane on the board,
Chad Ford is like, "Sure, the Mavericks made a really selection, but..............you know there are so many international players who we know NOTHING ABOUT and isn't it more fun to draft those guys and pretend they will develop over time, as opposed to drafting a guy the team thinks will help the team win games now?
Grade: B
Detroit Pistons
Round 1: Darko Milicic, F, Serbia-Montenegro (No. 2)
Round 1: Carlos Delfino, G, Italy (No. 25)
Round 2: Andres Gliniadakis, C, Greece (No. 58)
This is a dream draft for Chad Ford. The Pistons had three picks and took zero American players. I don't have to tell you this draft got a "A+" do I? It did. If there were a grade higher than an "A+" then that is the grade Chad Ford would have given the Pistons draft in 2003.
How many teams with the best record in their conference end up with the
best big man in the draft and a draft-night steal in Carlos Delfino? By
now, you know about Darko, but Delfino will also be important down the
road.
Carlos Delfino wasn't a bad player, that is true. But back to Darko...remember how much Chad Ford loved Darko Milicic? It bordered on obsession. What's funny is Ford didn't get his reputation for over-loving foreign-born players just from Darko, he loved nearly every international player because so much wasn't known about them. How much fun is that? If Chad Ford played "Let's Make a Deal" then he would always choose the prize behind the closed door because he has NO IDEA what's behind that door. Not knowing what is behind the door is so much better than the prize he currently has.
Gliniadakis was a nice pickup at the end of the draft. He's a 7-footer
who can actually play. The Pistons will leave him in Greece for a few
years and bring him over when he's ready.
Ford writes something like, "Leave him overseas until he's ready" in some variation many times in these draft grades. It's like he thinks these international players are chicken tenders you just put in the oven to cook and then they come out ready to be NBA All-Stars. Gliniadakis did come over when he was ready and then immediately got sent back to whence he came. He's still playing in Romania by the way.
Grade: A+
Houston Rockets
Round 1: No pick
Round 2: Malick Badiane, F, Germany (No. 44)
The Rockets made the most of their only pick. The team knows a thing or
two about African players and they believe Badiane could be a force in
the paint someday.
Chad Ford doesn't even need to know if an international player actually knows what a basketball looks like. Just look at that player and think about how great he could be DOWN THE ROAD SOMEDAY. This draft got a "B+" grade and I'm guessing Ford was tempted to give it an "A++++". I'm not sure Badiane has gotten closer to America than playing in the D-league for one year. But hey, it's a "B+" draft!
Indiana Pacers
Round 1: No pick
Round 2: James Jones, F, Miami (No. 49)
Jones is a nice second rounder. He has size, athleticism and a sweet stroke. But do the Pacers need another small forward?
Grade: B
See? Draft an American player and that team gets knocked from a "B+" to a "B" grade. If his name were Jamemarko Jonesinfino then there's a chance this is an "A" draft. The Pacers made the mistake of drafting a player with a unique skill he can use the NBA. They could have used this pick on a player that no one knew anything about, but who would marinate overseas and then come over to America and totally dominate.
Los Angeles Clippers
Round 1: Chris Kaman, C, Central Michigan (No. 6)
Round 2: Sofoklis Schortsanitis, F, Greece (No. 34)
The Kaman pick makes sense at one level. They know they're going to lose
Michael Olowokandi and they're pretty sure that free agents won't be
flocking to sign with them. But is Kaman a good fit? He doesn't want to
play there and he doesn't fit their style of play.
No worries. The Clippers drafted an international player in the second round. Guess what? Chad Ford LOVES this player I haven't ever heard of and who never actually played in the NBA.
Their second-round pick was a steal at No. 34. Will Schortsanitis
replace Elton Brand if he bolts this summer? More likely, he'll head
back to Greece for another year or two before trying to bruise and
pummel the NBA.
Yes, will Schortsanitis come over and immediately start playing at a high level in the NBA. Logically, he could do this since he was 18 years old at the time and had never played in the NBA before. How could he not come to the NBA and immediately take Elton Brand's place?
The absurdity of Chad Ford's love for international players can not be understated.
Grade: B
Memphis Grizzlies
Round 1: Troy Bell, G, Boston College (No. 16)
Round 1: Dahntay Jones, G, Duke (No. 20)
I can't fault the Grizzlies for liking Troy Bell and Dahntay Jones.
They're both proven players and great athletes who can contribute
immediately. However, they gave up two first-round picks to draft,
essentially, two second-round picks. I don't agree with that. I think
Bell will be a nice addition if he can crack the point guard rotation.
If he can't, what was the point?
Grade: C-
The Grizzlies reached for two players in the first round and it only got them knocked down to a "C-." What would it take to get a "D" from Chad Ford? Drafting three American players in the first round who were projected to be undrafted? What would it take to get an "F"? Spending three first round picks on three guys who never actually played basketball at any level? Even then, if one of those guys was an international player then that team's draft would probably get a "D-."
Miami Heat
Round 1: Dwyane Wade, G, Marquette (No. 5)
Round 2: Jerome Beasley, C, North Dakota (No. 33)
It's tough to criticize Pat Riley for passing on Lampe when 24 other teams did the same thing.
It's also tough to criticize Riley because Lampe sucked terribly bad and fell in the draft for a very good reason.
Grade: A-
Any draft where a Hall of Famer is selected is an automatic "A" for me. This is a rare instance where Chad Ford gives a team too low of a grade.
Milwaukee Bucks
Round 1: T.J. Ford, G, Texas (No. 8)
Round 2: Szymon Szewczyk, F, Germany (No. 35)
If Gary Payton and Sam Cassell don't come back, it could be a good pick.
But with the franchise for sale, will the 6-foot point guard turn this
team around? I'm just not sold.
I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE CHAD! The franchise was for sale and you aren't sold on T.J. Ford turning the team around. What if his name was Teejay Fjoryd and he was a skinny guy from Iceland? Would you have liked him more if that were the case?
Szymon Szewczyk is a nice player to get for future use. He'll head back
to Germany, but in another year or two he could come back and be a
force.
What is it with Chad Ford saying all these guys need "a year or two" overseas and then can come over and dominate? It's never "3-4 years" or "hey, he can come over now and play well," but Ford always gives the international player 1-2 years overseas and then the absolute domination begins.
Grade: C+
Minnesota Timberwolves
Round 1: Ndudi Ebi, F, Westbury Christian HS (No. 26)
Round 2: Rick Rickert, C, Minnesota (No. 55)
Remember the time when the Timberwolves would draft in the mid-20's and not just because they had traded for a pick in that area of the draft?
The Wolves passed on some talent that could help them right now (Josh
Howard, Mario Austin) to take a kid that's at least three years away.
Ndudi Ebi has the upside to be worth the risk down the road. But for a
team like the Wolves -- who need to make that next step in the
postseason -- Ebi gives zero relief. Ditto for Rick Rickert, who already
gets the official label of draft bust.
Grade: Incomplete
Ford can't even give a failing grade. He gives an "incomplete" grade. Just give a "D" or an "F." Why the fuck would he give an "incomplete" grade for a draft that is complete?
New Jersey Nets
Round 1: Zoran Planinic, G, Croatia (No. 22)
The great thing about Planinic is his versatility -- taking Planinic is
like drafting three guys. He has the experience and the basketball skill
to make an impact in year one.
Drafting Planinic is like drafting three players. Basically, the Nets had three first round draft picks during the 2003 NBA Draft. What a nice luxury to be able to spend three picks on just one player. I bet Planinic was a real stud in the NBA. (looks up Planinic's numbers in the NBA)
Oh, he never averaged more than 5 points a game and averaged more personal fouls per game than rebounds, assists, or steals. God, how terrible would Planinic have been if drafting him had not been like drafting three guys? More importantly, what kind of versatility did Planinic display? He was good at missing shots (40.5% career FG), good at committing fouls (1.6 fouls per game in 10.7 minutes per game), and wasn't even a good foul shooter (67.7% FT).
Definitely not an "A-" draft from the Nets.
Grade: A-
New York Knicks
Round 1: Mike Sweetney, F, Georgetown (No. 9)
Round 2: Maciej Lampe, F, Poland (No. 30)
Round 2: Slavko Vranes, F, Serbia-Montenegro (No. 39)
But landing the other guy you thought about taking at No. 9, Maciej
Lampe, was a huge draft steal. I've seen Lampe play enough to know that
his slide wasn't warranted. Lots of teams dropped the ball on him. If he
can work out his contract issues with Real Madrid, he'll make Knicks
fans happy.
Knicks fans were happy when Lampe didn't play for the team anymore. The same can be said for Sweetney as well. I like how Chad Ford is so confident that Maciej Lampe was going to be a great player. Chad Ford KNEW that Lampe's slide wasn't warranted. So much confidence from a guy who couldn't give a "D" or "F" grade in these draft grades.
Grade: A-
Now, THIS is an "F" draft if there ever is one.
New Orleans Hornets
Round 1: David West, F, Xavier (No. 18)
Round 2: James Lang, C, Central Park Christian HS (No. 48)
David West is a solid pick. He'll contribute a little in year one, get
some rebounds and block some shots. He's a poor man's P.J. Brown. They
didn't shoot for the moon on this pick, nor did they stick out their
necks.
David West was better than a poor man's P.J. Brown. I like how Ford graded this draft. Good effort, good job. Ah, who the fuck knows how to grade it? Here's a "C+" grade.
Orlando Magic
Round 1: Reece Gaines, G, Louisville (No. 15)
Round 2: Zaur Pachulia, F, Turkey (No. 42)
Round 2: Keith Bogans, G, Kentucky (No. 43)
This is the best draft the Magic have had in years. Gaines was the guy
they wanted at No. 15 and he's a perfect fit in Doc Rivers' system.
Landing Zaur Pachulia in round two was another big coup.
Grade: A
Bogans has had a pretty good career. Reece Gaines was not a fit for Doc Rivers' system. Maybe Chad Ford thought Gaines was from overseas. Even if Zaza and Bogans had decent careers this is not the best draft the Magic had in years (and if so, that's not saying much) and it is not an "A" draft.
Philadelphia 76ers
Round 2: Willie Green, G, Detroit (No. 41)
Round 2: Kyle Korver, F, Creighton (No. 51)
Kyle Korver may be one of the better shooters in the draft, but he can't create his own shoot and can't play a lick of defense.
It's the middle of the second round. To find one of the better shooters in the draft in the second round, in other words finding a guy with an elite skill, is not a bad thing. What else does Ford expect to be available in the middle of the 2nd round?
Grade: C-
We all know soft, white guys are deemed as having a high ceiling if they come from Poland. Unfortunately, Korver came from Creighton, so he has NO projectability and Chad Ford is disgusted at his existence in this draft. Why couldn't Korver just become an accountant like any good self-respecting white guy from America who played college basketball and could shoot the ball well would do?
Portland Trail Blazers
Round 1: Travis Outlaw, F, Starkville HS (No. 23)
Round 2: Nedzad Sinanovic, C, Bosnia-Herzegovina (No. 54)
Travis Outlaw may be a lottery pick after a couple of years in school,
but right now he's a second-rounder. He can't contribute and won't for
years. Meanwhile, the Blazers passed on several guys (Lampe, Barbosa,
Pachulia, Cook) with just as much upside.
Grade: C-
The Trailblazers didn't have a great draft, but since when does Chad Ford have a problem with a player taking a few years to contribute? How many times in these draft grades has Ford fawned over an international player who will spend a few years overseas and then come to the NBA to contribute? When it's American player who may take a few years to contribute, all of a sudden it's a bad thing that player will take some time to develop. It doesn't make sense. International players have the benefit of time, but how dare an NBA team draft an American player who needs time to develop! Chad Ford hates it when NBA teams do that.
Sacramento Kings
Round 1: No pick
Round 2: No pick
They traded their only second-round pick for Darius Songailia. It was
probably worth it. Sogailia had a great year on one of the best teams in
Europe and should be able to step in and help the Kings next year.
Grade: B
While Songailia wasn't terrible in the NBA, it's hilarious that Ford is so obsessed with overseas players the fact that Songailia played well in one year overseas then Ford knows he's immediately ready for the NBA.
Seattle SuperSonics
Round 1: Nick Collison, F, Kansas (No. 12)
Round 1: Luke Ridnour, G, Oregon (No. 14)
Round 2: Paccelis Morlende, G, France
While both of their choices were solid, I think they could've done
better. I would've grabbed Cook over Collison at power forward and taken
Gaines over Ridnour at the point.
Collison still plays for the Sonics/Thunder, while Brian Cook isn't in the league anymore. Ridnour versus Reece Gaines was another win for the Sonics. This wasn't a great draft, but Chad Ford's suggestions for who the Sonics should have taken are not good at all.
Maybe Ridnour will be the next Steve Nash and Collison will be the next Austin Croshere.
WELCOME TO 2003 EVERYONE! Austin Croshere is a thing that other white power forwards get compared to.
Toronto Raptors
Round 1: Chris Bosh, F, Georgia Tech (No. 4)
Round 2: Matt Bonner, F, Florida (No. 45)
Round 2: Remon Van de Hare, C, Spain (No. 52)
Bosh has the chance to be a special player. It seems like the Raptors
would've been better off sending him to Seattle or somewhere else for
more veteran players, however.
Bosh had a chance to be a great player. Naturally, the Raptors should have immediately traded him in order to make sure they never got a chance to take advantage of having that great, young player like Chris Bosh. Brilliant idea.
The selection of Van de Hare, a true Euro stiff in the second round, hurt their grade.
(Bengoodfella gasps for breath at the realization that Chad Ford bashed a player who comes from overseas...what about giving him one or two years to develop and then he'll dominate in the NBA? WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT CHAD?)
Grade: B+
Utah Jazz
Round 1: Aleksandar Pavlovic, G, Serbia-Montenegro (No. 19)
Round 2: Maurice Williams, G, Alabama (No. 47)
Pavlovic gives them the shoot-the-lights out scorer they've coveted for
years. Alabama's Mo Williams was a steal in round two. Both players
could end up contributing in Utah next season.
Of course, Pavlovic may not be able to play a lick of defense, but who cares? He's there for his shooting ability. It's not like a player at #19 should be judged as if he were an all-around player like a player who was drafted at #51 would be judged.
Grade: A-
Washington Wizards
Round 1: Jarvis Hayes, G, Georgia (No. 10)
Round 2: Steve Blake, G, Maryland (No. 38)
Hayes is a good shooter, but in extending Jerry Stackhouse's contract,
where does he fit? Stackhouse, Larry Hughes and Juan Dixon all play the
same position. As for Steve Blake? So, let's see, Blake, Dixon ... How
long before Chris Wilcox and Lonny Baxter end up in a Wizards uniform?
That's ridiculous. How long before Chris W---okay fine...Lonny Baxter played for the Wizards during the 2003-2004 season. That team did win 25 games by the way, which in college would have been a pretty good season. Unfortunately, in the NBA that was out of 82 games played.
Grade: C
Chad Ford seemed to hate this draft and yet it got a "C" grade. Just typical for Chad Ford's 2003 NBA Draft grades. As I always ask, if the grades aren't going to reflect poorly on any of the teams then what is the point of handing out grades? Every team can't have a wonderful to only slightly below average draft.
Showing posts with label america. Show all posts
Showing posts with label america. Show all posts
Monday, June 22, 2015
Wednesday, April 8, 2015
5 comments MMQB Review: Peter King Inquires About Nate Boyer's Personal Death Toll, Because He Has No Sense of Tact Edition
Peter King talked about the teams that "controlled" the draft in last week's MMQB. He also rosterbated on what the Vikings should do with Adrian Peterson and got a few quotes from NFL coaches that helped his readers learn Marvin Lewis isn't worried about Andy Dalton in the playoffs (a lie), Pete Carroll would call the same play again in the Super Bowl (a lie...even though Carroll didn't call the play) and no one has a clue how to fix Jay Cutler other than to run draw plays (probably true). This week talks about a feel-good story, a woman who is going to officiate NFL games (don't tell Chris Paul), is shocked by how salaries differ in a sport with a salary cap as compared to a sport without a salary cap, and takes a quick shot at Josh Freeman because he's given the opportunity to do so.
Before I get to one of the most amazing subjects of any Monday Morning Quarterback column in the 18 years I’ve been writing it—so please do not stray—a paean to baseball’s Opening Day, sort of, from one of its brightest stars.
Peter had never heard of this "Mike Trout" player until last year, but then he came in and played really well against the Red Sox. Now he knows him. What a player this Mike Trout guy is!
Late in spring training, on the Angels’ practice field, Mike Trout, American League MVP and Philadelphia Eagles season-ticket-holder, is telling this wacky story from last September. I’d seen video of a game on the Angels’ TV network from last fall. On the replay, the screen is split. On one side, Trout, in center field for the Angels on a Sunday afternoon, is peering into the Angels’ broadcast booth, 300 feet away. On the other half of the screen, where Trout is looking, is Angels color man Mark Gubicza. They both love the Eagles. Gubicza starts to flap his arms, in the “Fly Eagles Fly” gesture the Philly fans use. Excited, Trout starts to flap his wings too.
I'm glad this story preempted Peter's story about a Green Beret trying to make it into the NFL as a long-snapper, because this story could not wait and had to be told immediately. This is a developing story that won't stop breaking.
“I was fired up about the game, and I told Guby during batting practice, ‘Hey, I’m gonna look up every inning. Let me know—if we’re doing good, give me the ‘Fly Eagles Fly’ signal. If we’re not, give me this.'” Trout made the throat-slash gesture.
Oh, the throat-slash gesture.
Get ready for a stupid question from Peter.
“He’s, like, 300 feet away,” I say. “How can you see him? What’s your eyesight?”
Peter King just asked an MLB outfielder how he saw a person flapping his arms in a broadcast booth 300 feet away. MLB outfielders routinely play 280-300 feet away from home plate where they follow a tiny white ball hit off a bat thrown by a pitcher (the ball, not the bat...unless Roger Clemens is on the mound) that is traveling between 75-100 mph when it is hit by the batter. Mike Trout plays outfield, where he is able to track down and catch this little ball in a glove, but Peter is shocked AND AMAZED that Mike Trout can see a man flapping his arms from that distance. Following a little white ball from 300-400 feet? No problem? Seeing a man flapping his arms from 300 feet? HOW DID YOU DO THAT!?
Typical Peter King. He's amazed by the little things in life. Mike Trout tracks a baseball down for a living. A dude flapping his arms when Trout is looking for him shouldn't be hard to see.
Now for the big question: What about all these offseason moves by madman Chip Kelly?
Yes, I definitely need football analysis from Mike Trout. Peter is holding off telling what he states is one of his favorite stories in MMQB history to tell a story about Mike Trout watching another person flapping his arms and getting Trout's opinion on the Eagles' offseason moves. Priorities.
“I’ve been shocked, for sure,” Trout says. “But, you know, Chip Kelly’s got something up his sleeve. If he thinks Sam Bradford’s the guy, you know, you gotta trust it. He has one thing in mind, and that’s winning a Super Bowl. Whatever it takes. Whatever he thinks is right, that’s what he’s gonna do.
Insightful. Glad Peter asked. Now let's hear more about how Trout found a way to see Mark Gubicza flap his arms in a broadcasting booth. What magic he performs!
The phone rang in Nate Boyer’s shoebox of a studio apartment in L.A. on Sept. 11, 2001, waking up the 20-year-old man without a life compass. Boyer looked at his clock … 6 a.m.
“Nate,” his mother said, “turn on the TV.”
“What channel?” Boyer said.
“Doesn’t matter,” his mother said.
Boyer had a 19-inch TV with a rabbit-ears antenna, and he turned it on. The World Trade Center was on fire. In an hour, one of the twin towers collapsed; a half-hour after that, the second one fell.
Peter King wasn't in New York City that day, but just how he managed to empathize with Ivan Maisel because he lost his daughter for five minutes in a grocery store, Peter knows how New Yorkers felt that day. One time the fire got out of control in his fire pit at home and melted his cell phone. It ruined a lawn chair too. It was basically his version of 9-11.
This is the day Boyer’s life changed—as so many lives did in so many different ways. It’s crazy to say that it’s the seminal event in a life that led Boyer to a refugee camp in Darfur three years later, then to enlist in the Army, then to multiple tours of duty as a Green Beret, then to enroll as a 29-year-old freshman at the University of Texas, then to a walk-on tryout for the Longhorns football team,
That isn’t even the craziest thing about the Nate Boyer story. This is: When he walked on at Texas, he had never played a snap of football in the first 29 years of his life. Mack Brown, the coach at the time, didn’t know until the end of Boyer’s second year at Texas that he’d never played football.
I can't figure out for the life of me why Mack Brown got fired.
"Wait, our quarterback doesn't have a scholarship to play football for us? Why is he walking on four legs? Our quarterback is a dog? How come no one told me about this?" (Mack Brown fires his defensive coordinator out of habit)
Boyer made it happen. The man who never played the game mostly taught himself how to long-snap on his final special-forces tour, coming back to fall practice at Texas determined to win the job. He practiced and drilled himself into playing 38 Big 12 Conference games, which is why there’s a glimmer of hope that this incredible football life has a chance to continue this summer at an NFL training camp near you.
Wait, there is an NFL training camp near me? The closest one I know of is three hours away.
“I need teams to look past the fact I’m 34 years old, obviously,” Boyer said from Los Angeles on Friday. “I’m not your average 34-year-old.”
Plus, he's a long-snapper. Age isn't always a huge issue for long-snappers. It's not like Boyer is a quarterback like Brandon Weeden or Chris Weinke.
This is what Boyer is up against, as he attempts to become one of 1,696 active players in the most exclusive sports league in America:
The NBA would like for you to redo your math on that one, Peter. 53 players and 32 teams comes to 1696 players and the NBA has 15 players on a team and 30 teams. That's 450 players. So by "most exclusive" I think Peter means "Don't check my math to determine if this is factually correct."
Oh, and NHL teams have 23 players on the roster and there are 30 teams. That comes to 690 players. Maybe Peter means something else by "most exclusive."
His age. Ever hear of a 34-year-old NFL rookie? NFL teams frown on 25-year-old rookies. Add nine years, and most are going to say, “Incredible story. Good luck, Nate.”
He's a long-snapper. Again, I'm not sure age is as large of an issue for long-snappers.
His size. Boyer is 5-11 and 220 pounds. The average size of the current 32 long-snappers: 6-2 ½, 246. One snapper is shorter than 6-0 (Houston’s Jonathan Weeks, at 5-10). Two snappers are lighter than 230 (Falcon Josh Harris, at 224; Denver’s Aaron Brewer, at 225).
And this could be an issue. The NFL frowns on college players who are small for their position as much as they frown on college players who are older for a rookie.
Boyer only needs one team to say yes. No team will use a pick on the now draft-eligible Boyer, but NFL teams will bring 90 players to camp in late July. Every team signs 20 to 25 undrafted college free agents for training camp. Theoretically, then, Boyer is competing to be one of 650 or so undrafted players invited to one of the 32 NFL camps.
“You may not look at me and think, ‘This guy is capable of anything,’ but nothing is going to stop me,” Boyer said. “I might die trying, but I will work till the last beat of my heart to accomplish the mission—
Oh man, if Nate Boyer died trying to make an NFL team then Roger Goodell would REALLY have to plug his ears and cover his eyes in an effort to pretend he didn't know nothing and try to rehab the NFL's image.
Boyer had no college degree, no discernible skill, and so no relief or medical agency would retain him to work in the relief camps for Darfur refugees. So he flew to Chad. When he landed, he lied about being an American doctor and about being robbed in Paris on his way to the refugee camp, and he talked himself onto a United Nations plane heading to Abéché, home to the largest refugee camp.
Ah, it's just a couple of lies all for the sake of America. The NFL would never hold the fact a college prospect lied in his past against him would they?
When he came back from Chad (his 60-day visa could not be extended), he decided to try to earn a spot in the U.S. Army Special Forces. At Fort Benning, Ga., 145 candidates started Special Forces training. Eleven, including Boyer, made it through. “I was all in,” he said. “In my free time, I did a mile of lunges without stopping.”
Whaaaaaaat?
"Yeah," Peter says, "but can you see a guy flapping his arms from 300 feet away?"
Twice in Afghanistan, Boyer felt he came close to death—including just before he returned from his last deployment in 2014. Understand that this final tour was the Special Forces’ version of a summer job. Before his last season at Texas, he deployed to Tajab, near the Afghan-Pakistan border, searching for Taliban. One day, in a firefight with some Taliban forces, the captain of the Afghan forces, fighting next to Boyer, was shot in the throat and died. That battle is when the bullet came three inches from Boyer’s face. He actually had the presence of mind to tell me it was better him in such danger than a peer with a family. “I’m not married, and I don’t have any children,” he said. “Better to have me there.”
“How many people did you kill?” I asked.
Great question, Peter. This questions shows a vast knowledge of Green Berets (and other members of the military), as a group of people who always love to be asked about all the people they have killed like they are an 8 year old playing "Super Contra" for the first time. Who the hell asks this type of question, other than a child?
Peter claims he didn't know it was bad form. I don't know what planet Peter lives on sometimes. I have not a clue how Peter has survived this long in life with some of the weirdly insensitive and tone-deaf things he Tweets.
“I am not going to answer that,” Boyer said, after a pause. “I honestly don’t know. I can tell you I am no Chris Kyle. But you don’t really know because—well, you are in these battles, and you come back, and, last year, we had one firefight with 30 enemy KIA [killed in action], and you never know for sure who got who.”
Seriously though, Peter, great question. I'm sure there is nothing Nate Boyer would like recalling more than those times he ended another person's life. It probably doesn't affect him psychologically or emotionally, so it's not an insensitive question to ask at all.
Recently, Eagles coach Chip Kelly and his sports science coordinator—former U.S. Naval Special Warfare personal coach Shaun Huls—visited Glazer’s gym. Boyer met Kelly. “How much do you weigh?” Kelly asked. That’s what every coach will want to know, at least those who are thinking of giving the longest of shots a chance.
“Two-twenty,” Boyer told him.
Then Chip Kelly tried to trade Boyer to the Packers for a 6th round pick, simply out of habit.
One more thing: Boyer has another mission.
“The veteran suicide rate is 22 a day,” he said. “Twenty-two a day! Unacceptable. Totally unacceptable. People out there are trying to fix that, and I am one of those people. I want to prove to those leaving the military that if you believe in yourself and work and sacrifice, the same way you did in the military, you can achieve what you want in society. I want to make a difference for veterans, and what they can do in the world.”
That starts with a job offer in May, after the NFL draft.
To be fair to Nate Boyer, though it wouldn't fit Peter's want for making dramatic statements, he could very well achieve this without playing in the NFL. It's not like making the Texas football team and then being invited to an NFL team's training camp wouldn't prove that veterans can make a difference in the world once they come back from their tour of duty. I know, this isn't dramatic enough for Peter, so he'll act like the only way Boyer can make a difference for veterans is if he plays in the NFL.
The NFL’s first full-time female official will arrive in the 96th season of the league, now that Sarah Thomas has been hired. Aaron Wilson of the Baltimore Sun reported Thomas’ hire Friday, and though the league wouldn’t confirm it, the story’s a lock. Thomas will be a full-time line judge starting this summer.
Chris Paul wants to know how she'll run down the field with all of her lady parts and keep up with the middle-aged male officials?
Thomas, married with three children, became a finalist for an NFL job in 2013, was a finalist again last year, and this year, with eight new officials being hired, was finally one of the new officials elevated.
Peter should ask Sarah Thomas how she plans on balancing her work life with the time she wants to dedicate to her children and whether she is trying to "have it all." He's asking veterans how many people they killed, so he may as well go full heel in his line of questioning.
The line judge is on the line of scrimmage near the sideline, opposite the head linesman. The line judge is the backup timekeeper, works with the linesman on offside and encroachment calls, and, once the ball is snapped, follows the closest slot back or flanker to that side downfield seven yards.
Well, that's just great. Women can never be on time for anything, but the NFL is going to hire a woman to be the backup timekeeper? This will never work. Besides, how is Sarah Thomas going to follow a flanker while wearing heels? WHAT A TERRIBLE IDEA TO HIRE A WOMAN FOR A MAN'S JOB! How many people has she killed?
When she has worked, she stuffs her blonde ponytail under her hat and looks like any other official.
Thanks for pointing out what Sarah Thomas does with her hair during the game. If you had not brought it up, I would have been concerned Thomas would have been too focused on making sure her ponytail is straight as opposed to officiating the NFL game. I'm really glad Peter pointed out what Thomas does with her hair. I was deeply concerned she would try to bring a full-length mirror on the field in the middle of the game to make sure her hair looks good, just like any woman would do.
When she worked a Cleveland Browns practice in 2012, several players said they didn’t notice anything different about the line judge until it was pointed out that the line judge was a woman. If that happens on the field this year, Thomas—and the NFL—will be very happy.
She better keep that blonde ponytail tucked up under her hat or else the players may get distracted by her feminine wiles.
PFF has some good information on the draftable players. Such as:
Overrated? A sure-fire top-five pick, USC defensive tackle Leonard Williams, was underproductive in obvious passing situations. On third-and-long he produced only eight pressures (two hits, six hurries) on 94 pass rushes. That earned a Pass-Rush Productivity number of 6.4, well below the class average for interior defensive linemen of 7.6.
I don't know if this means Leonard is overrated or that teams doubled him in obvious passing situations. That's a possibility too.
Baylor quarterback Bryce Petty has a good deep arm. Petty completed 34 of 95 passes on balls thrown at least 20 yards downfield. They went for 1,472 yards, 20 touchdowns and one interception. The 20 touchdowns led all FBS quarterbacks on such deep throws, while the yardage total was second-highest.
Uh-oh, Bryce Petty is the new Tom Savage. Next thing we know, Peter King will be writing a MMQB about how Petty is the hot new quarterback in the draft because he has so many individual workouts lined up and because Petty's agent will do a great job of pretending his client is going to be drafted 1-2 rounds before any logical GM would draft him.
This is anecdotal evidence, but I wonder how many of these deep balls were thrown to receivers who were wide open as compared to thrown to receivers who were being covered and there was a tight window to throw into? I only ask because I feel like every time I saw a highlight of Baylor scoring a touchdown the ball was being thrown to a wide open receiver due to the Baylor offensive scheme being so good. Again, it's anecdotal evidence.
“We found out there was a bar called the Cricket Inn, or the Cricket, which was a popular bar there at Oklahoma State. Our [scout] would sit there for a week. He sat there for one week, went in every day at 3 o’clock and stayed till 11 o’clock at night. That was his job. And we checked: How many times did Justin Blackmon come in? And he came in too many times. And we took him off our board.”
—Former Tampa Bay GM Mark Dominik, on why the Bucs took Justin Blackmon off their draft board in 2012.
Too bad the Jaguars didn’t have a spy in the Cricket in 2012.
While this sounds slightly creepy and a little bit smart, the Buccaneers did draft Mark Barron with the 7th pick in the draft. So before marveling at how much research the Buccaneers did, I don't want to forget they took Blackmon off the draft board and then screwed up their first round pick anyway.
“It’s just like the Michael Sam situation. If he wasn’t gay, he would have gone undrafted. Instead, the league drafts him because I think they are trying to monopolize every aspect of the world. The same thing with a female ref. For the league, it’s great publicity. The NFL is all about monopolizing every opportunity.”
—Jacksonville defensive tackle Sen’Derrick Marks, to TMZ, about the NFL’s hiring of Sarah Thomas as the first full-time female game official.
It certainly sounds like the NFL is ready for a woman ref. Though I'm not sure how the NFL really got great publicity from Michael Sam getting drafted, other than it got the NFL in the news on the third day of the draft when the NFL would probably be in the news anyway.
Super Bowl MVP Tom Brady and Defensive Player of the Year J.J. Watt finished the 2014 season at the top of their respective games, Brady leading two fourth-quarter touchdown drives to win the Super Bowl over Seattle and Watt compiling one of the best defensive seasons a player has ever had.
Combined, their 2015 salary-cap number is $27.97 million. Brady’s is $14 million, Watt’s $13.97 million.
How the two NFL stars’ 2015 compensation compares to some dynamic baseball duos:
A few things here:
1. One sport has a salary cap and the other sport does not have a salary cap. While this may be a part of Peter's point, it's fairly obvious that a sport with a salary cap is going to have lower contract numbers for the players than a sport without a salary cap would have. It's so obvious that it doesn't really merit a comparison like this. Maybe it's more interesting than I give it credit for.
2. Peter has chosen players from baseball who are generally overpaid. How about he chooses a few baseball players that don't fit the narrative he wants to push? Baseball and football have differently salary structures. For the first 6 seasons of a baseball player's career he could end up playing for a fraction of his real worth. So Peter is choosing only the expensive underachieving/overpaid baseball players that fit his narrative. Still, baseball players make more than football players. That's not news.
3. How about Peter compares the salaries of some overpaid NFL players to MLB players that don't make quite what they are worth? How about Peter's boy Josh McCown who has a cap hit of $8.65 million from the Buccaneers and Browns. Matt Schaub has a cap hit of $2 million. That's $10.65 million for two backup quarterbacks and Mike Trout and Garrett Richards are only making $9.283 million this year!
How about Michael Johnson, who is making $9.6 million this year for the Buccaneers and Bengals? Anthony Collins is making $3 million this year. Neither of them are even on the Buccaneers team anymore. Meanwhile, the Rays are paying Evan Longoria and Alex Cobb $15 million this year.
Mr. Starwood Preferred Member Travel Note of the Week
Readers of this column know how much I love Amtrak and train travel in general. But there are some times, way too often, that stupid little things go bad on a trip, and for those who don’t love train travel the way I do, I wonder if little events like this make people say, “I’m better off driving.”
By writing "how much I love Amtrak and train travel in general" Peter means "how much I love train travel when everything goes perfectly but then I bitch about any inconvenience in train travel in the most public way possible once something goes wrong."
Thursday evening, Amtrak regional train heading north to Penn Station in New York … Train pulls out of Newark for the nine-minute ride to New York City. It took 47 minutes. It inched, stopped, inched, rode for a minute, inched, stopped, stayed stopped, inched, etc. No explanation. I’ll get on the train again, many times. A bunch of the grumblers, well, I’m not sure. Things like that happen far too often on those regional trains.
It sounds like the police should have gotten involved. This is a crime of historic proportions. I'm just glad Peter King is here to tell his audience that, in fact, public transportation is not always reliable.
Ten Things I Think I Think
1. I think the most stunning piece of news from the last few days, other than Sarah Thomas’s hiring, was Chris Mortensen’s report that the Browns had basically moved on from Johnny Manziel. The way he described it on ESPN was that, when the offensive staff was putting together the offseason program, “Manziel’s name barely even came up in conversation.” I can tell you this: Mortensen is 100 percent accurate here. In fact, when the quarterbacks have been discussed this offseason in-house, Josh McCown is the dominant talking point, and then Thad Lewis, signed last month as a free agent. Then comes Manziel and Connor Shaw.
After one season they give up on him I see. Why not?
2. I think the moral of this story is this: Manziel has done too much damage to his reputation with owner Jimmy Haslam, GM Ray Farmer and coach Mike Pettine to be taken seriously in Cleveland when he returns to the team, which is likely to be in the next week or so.
Which, by the way, Manziel's reputation won't mean shit if he comes back to Browns' camp and starts playing really well. That is the key to Browns management not giving a crap about a reputation, just start to play well. Winning cures all.
3. I think I am dubious that Manziel going to rehab was his idea.
I think I'm wondering why Peter King uses three separate numbers to discuss the exact same topic (Johnny Manziel) when these three points could all be discussed under #1. Peter does this all the time and it annoys the nitpicker in me.
All three points are about Johnny Manziel, his reputation and his future in Cleveland. Yet, for some reason, Peter believes they require three separate points rather than have these points all come under point #1.
7. I think I’ll believe the new and improved Josh Freeman—who signed with the Dolphins after being out of football last year—when I see it.
Peter can't resist getting a shot at Josh Freeman in when he sees that Freeman might get a chance to play in the NFL. I will never understand what Peter King has against Josh Freeman. All I can guess is that Freeman helped get Peter King's friend Greg Schiano fired in Tampa Bay and that's why he doesn't like Josh Freeman. In terms of NFL players who have been overpaid by an NFL team, Freeman isn't in the Top 20 of NFL players over the last two years. Matt Schaub made something like $8 million last year to be the backup to Derek Carr and Josh McCown made $4.75 million to help the Buccaneers get the #1 overall draft pick in this year's draft through his shitty play. Still, Peter will go to bat for McCown and talk about what a great teacher he is for other quarterbacks. But Josh Freeman sucked for the Vikings and made $2 million in the process, which is a felony that Peter King won't ever let Freeman live down. I wonder why.
Either the Freeman family is sticking up for each other (they aren't related in reality) or not everyone in the NFL hates Josh Freeman with the vigor and ferocity that Peter King does.
9. I think this Chicago headline means absolutely nothing to me: “Football autographed by Cutler gets no bids at charity event.” I just don’t care that a reviled player tries to do something nice for someone, or for some charity, and doesn’t get the football bought by anyone. I understand it suggests the community doesn’t like him, but we needed fans to pass on a signed football in a charity auction to know that? I don’t think so.
Peter doesn't need to know fans passed on buying a signed Jay Cutler football in order to know Bears fans don't like him, but Peter feels it is vitally important to point out what a waste of human flesh Josh Freeman is every opportunity he can get. Freeman was out of football last year, does it merit a mention that he'll have to prove he can play quarterback at an NFL level any more than a Jay Cutler signed football not being bought proves Bears fans aren't happy with Cutler?
10. I think these are my non-football thoughts of the week:
e. Mike Krzyzewski was hired to coach Duke on March 18, 1980—six days after I was hired to cover Xavier basketball and the Reds for the Cincinnati Enquirer. What a long strange trip it’s been.
And when I think of Coach K, my thoughts immediately go to the parallel that he and Peter King were hired within days of each other. Two lofty and haughty men, entering their business at the same time. Wait, Coach K went to Army. Why doesn't Peter King ask him how many people he killed?
f. I want to like Duke tonight. But I say Wisconsin on a Frank the Tank putback in the closing seconds.
It's your opinion. If you want to like Duke, you can literally do that if you want to.
j. Barry Zito outrighted to Triple-A by the A’s. I am officially not just old, but ancient.
Barry Zito is 36 years old and he isn't even close to being one of the oldest players who will be optioned to Triple-A by a major league team over the past/next few years. Why does this make Peter King feel old? Peter confuses me.
l. Coffeenerdness: Memo to Starbucks: If you want to see an assembly line of efficiency at an incredibly busy store, go to your place at Penn Station in Manhattan during morning rush hour.
Yes, every Starbucks employee in the New York area should go to the Penn Station Starbucks during the morning rush so that Peter's favorite Starbucks will be closed during this time and Peter can bitch about how not every Starbucks employee should have been away at the same time. If this did happen then it would really test the ability of the Penn Station Starbucks to handle a rush, once a thousand people all show up at the same time.
I did a quick count when I walked at about 7:45 Thursday morning. Forty-eight people, either in line or waiting for their drink. I was out with my coffee at 7:53. Three great baristas, working cheerfully, efficiently. My flat white was perfect. Not sure what the moral of the story is, other than you’ve got some really good people at that store.
I'm not sure how Peter King manages to find the time to balance his busy writing career and being the Quality Assurance Manager for every hotel/Starbucks/retail facility in the United States, but he does an impressive job of making sure everyone else is working as hard as he thinks they should be.
The Adieu Haiku
Day 73.
Ted Wells still studying Pats.
I mean, come on now.
This very well could have just been a sentence in the things that Peter thinks he thinks. This "Adieu Haiku" must go. It's purposeless and it hasn't even killed anyone recently.
Before I get to one of the most amazing subjects of any Monday Morning Quarterback column in the 18 years I’ve been writing it—so please do not stray—a paean to baseball’s Opening Day, sort of, from one of its brightest stars.
Peter had never heard of this "Mike Trout" player until last year, but then he came in and played really well against the Red Sox. Now he knows him. What a player this Mike Trout guy is!
Late in spring training, on the Angels’ practice field, Mike Trout, American League MVP and Philadelphia Eagles season-ticket-holder, is telling this wacky story from last September. I’d seen video of a game on the Angels’ TV network from last fall. On the replay, the screen is split. On one side, Trout, in center field for the Angels on a Sunday afternoon, is peering into the Angels’ broadcast booth, 300 feet away. On the other half of the screen, where Trout is looking, is Angels color man Mark Gubicza. They both love the Eagles. Gubicza starts to flap his arms, in the “Fly Eagles Fly” gesture the Philly fans use. Excited, Trout starts to flap his wings too.
I'm glad this story preempted Peter's story about a Green Beret trying to make it into the NFL as a long-snapper, because this story could not wait and had to be told immediately. This is a developing story that won't stop breaking.
“I was fired up about the game, and I told Guby during batting practice, ‘Hey, I’m gonna look up every inning. Let me know—if we’re doing good, give me the ‘Fly Eagles Fly’ signal. If we’re not, give me this.'” Trout made the throat-slash gesture.
Oh, the throat-slash gesture.
Get ready for a stupid question from Peter.
“He’s, like, 300 feet away,” I say. “How can you see him? What’s your eyesight?”
Peter King just asked an MLB outfielder how he saw a person flapping his arms in a broadcast booth 300 feet away. MLB outfielders routinely play 280-300 feet away from home plate where they follow a tiny white ball hit off a bat thrown by a pitcher (the ball, not the bat...unless Roger Clemens is on the mound) that is traveling between 75-100 mph when it is hit by the batter. Mike Trout plays outfield, where he is able to track down and catch this little ball in a glove, but Peter is shocked AND AMAZED that Mike Trout can see a man flapping his arms from that distance. Following a little white ball from 300-400 feet? No problem? Seeing a man flapping his arms from 300 feet? HOW DID YOU DO THAT!?
Typical Peter King. He's amazed by the little things in life. Mike Trout tracks a baseball down for a living. A dude flapping his arms when Trout is looking for him shouldn't be hard to see.
Now for the big question: What about all these offseason moves by madman Chip Kelly?
Yes, I definitely need football analysis from Mike Trout. Peter is holding off telling what he states is one of his favorite stories in MMQB history to tell a story about Mike Trout watching another person flapping his arms and getting Trout's opinion on the Eagles' offseason moves. Priorities.
“I’ve been shocked, for sure,” Trout says. “But, you know, Chip Kelly’s got something up his sleeve. If he thinks Sam Bradford’s the guy, you know, you gotta trust it. He has one thing in mind, and that’s winning a Super Bowl. Whatever it takes. Whatever he thinks is right, that’s what he’s gonna do.
Insightful. Glad Peter asked. Now let's hear more about how Trout found a way to see Mark Gubicza flap his arms in a broadcasting booth. What magic he performs!
The phone rang in Nate Boyer’s shoebox of a studio apartment in L.A. on Sept. 11, 2001, waking up the 20-year-old man without a life compass. Boyer looked at his clock … 6 a.m.
“Nate,” his mother said, “turn on the TV.”
“What channel?” Boyer said.
“Doesn’t matter,” his mother said.
Boyer had a 19-inch TV with a rabbit-ears antenna, and he turned it on. The World Trade Center was on fire. In an hour, one of the twin towers collapsed; a half-hour after that, the second one fell.
Peter King wasn't in New York City that day, but just how he managed to empathize with Ivan Maisel because he lost his daughter for five minutes in a grocery store, Peter knows how New Yorkers felt that day. One time the fire got out of control in his fire pit at home and melted his cell phone. It ruined a lawn chair too. It was basically his version of 9-11.
This is the day Boyer’s life changed—as so many lives did in so many different ways. It’s crazy to say that it’s the seminal event in a life that led Boyer to a refugee camp in Darfur three years later, then to enlist in the Army, then to multiple tours of duty as a Green Beret, then to enroll as a 29-year-old freshman at the University of Texas, then to a walk-on tryout for the Longhorns football team,
That isn’t even the craziest thing about the Nate Boyer story. This is: When he walked on at Texas, he had never played a snap of football in the first 29 years of his life. Mack Brown, the coach at the time, didn’t know until the end of Boyer’s second year at Texas that he’d never played football.
I can't figure out for the life of me why Mack Brown got fired.
"Wait, our quarterback doesn't have a scholarship to play football for us? Why is he walking on four legs? Our quarterback is a dog? How come no one told me about this?" (Mack Brown fires his defensive coordinator out of habit)
Boyer made it happen. The man who never played the game mostly taught himself how to long-snap on his final special-forces tour, coming back to fall practice at Texas determined to win the job. He practiced and drilled himself into playing 38 Big 12 Conference games, which is why there’s a glimmer of hope that this incredible football life has a chance to continue this summer at an NFL training camp near you.
Wait, there is an NFL training camp near me? The closest one I know of is three hours away.
“I need teams to look past the fact I’m 34 years old, obviously,” Boyer said from Los Angeles on Friday. “I’m not your average 34-year-old.”
Plus, he's a long-snapper. Age isn't always a huge issue for long-snappers. It's not like Boyer is a quarterback like Brandon Weeden or Chris Weinke.
This is what Boyer is up against, as he attempts to become one of 1,696 active players in the most exclusive sports league in America:
The NBA would like for you to redo your math on that one, Peter. 53 players and 32 teams comes to 1696 players and the NBA has 15 players on a team and 30 teams. That's 450 players. So by "most exclusive" I think Peter means "Don't check my math to determine if this is factually correct."
Oh, and NHL teams have 23 players on the roster and there are 30 teams. That comes to 690 players. Maybe Peter means something else by "most exclusive."
His age. Ever hear of a 34-year-old NFL rookie? NFL teams frown on 25-year-old rookies. Add nine years, and most are going to say, “Incredible story. Good luck, Nate.”
He's a long-snapper. Again, I'm not sure age is as large of an issue for long-snappers.
His size. Boyer is 5-11 and 220 pounds. The average size of the current 32 long-snappers: 6-2 ½, 246. One snapper is shorter than 6-0 (Houston’s Jonathan Weeks, at 5-10). Two snappers are lighter than 230 (Falcon Josh Harris, at 224; Denver’s Aaron Brewer, at 225).
And this could be an issue. The NFL frowns on college players who are small for their position as much as they frown on college players who are older for a rookie.
Boyer only needs one team to say yes. No team will use a pick on the now draft-eligible Boyer, but NFL teams will bring 90 players to camp in late July. Every team signs 20 to 25 undrafted college free agents for training camp. Theoretically, then, Boyer is competing to be one of 650 or so undrafted players invited to one of the 32 NFL camps.
“You may not look at me and think, ‘This guy is capable of anything,’ but nothing is going to stop me,” Boyer said. “I might die trying, but I will work till the last beat of my heart to accomplish the mission—
Oh man, if Nate Boyer died trying to make an NFL team then Roger Goodell would REALLY have to plug his ears and cover his eyes in an effort to pretend he didn't know nothing and try to rehab the NFL's image.
Boyer had no college degree, no discernible skill, and so no relief or medical agency would retain him to work in the relief camps for Darfur refugees. So he flew to Chad. When he landed, he lied about being an American doctor and about being robbed in Paris on his way to the refugee camp, and he talked himself onto a United Nations plane heading to Abéché, home to the largest refugee camp.
Ah, it's just a couple of lies all for the sake of America. The NFL would never hold the fact a college prospect lied in his past against him would they?
When he came back from Chad (his 60-day visa could not be extended), he decided to try to earn a spot in the U.S. Army Special Forces. At Fort Benning, Ga., 145 candidates started Special Forces training. Eleven, including Boyer, made it through. “I was all in,” he said. “In my free time, I did a mile of lunges without stopping.”
Whaaaaaaat?
"Yeah," Peter says, "but can you see a guy flapping his arms from 300 feet away?"
Twice in Afghanistan, Boyer felt he came close to death—including just before he returned from his last deployment in 2014. Understand that this final tour was the Special Forces’ version of a summer job. Before his last season at Texas, he deployed to Tajab, near the Afghan-Pakistan border, searching for Taliban. One day, in a firefight with some Taliban forces, the captain of the Afghan forces, fighting next to Boyer, was shot in the throat and died. That battle is when the bullet came three inches from Boyer’s face. He actually had the presence of mind to tell me it was better him in such danger than a peer with a family. “I’m not married, and I don’t have any children,” he said. “Better to have me there.”
“How many people did you kill?” I asked.
Great question, Peter. This questions shows a vast knowledge of Green Berets (and other members of the military), as a group of people who always love to be asked about all the people they have killed like they are an 8 year old playing "Super Contra" for the first time. Who the hell asks this type of question, other than a child?
RT @Deej1121: Asking a vet how many people he's killed is bad form … I didn’t know. If it is, my apologies.
— Peter King (@SI_PeterKing) April 6, 2015
Peter claims he didn't know it was bad form. I don't know what planet Peter lives on sometimes. I have not a clue how Peter has survived this long in life with some of the weirdly insensitive and tone-deaf things he Tweets.
“I am not going to answer that,” Boyer said, after a pause. “I honestly don’t know. I can tell you I am no Chris Kyle. But you don’t really know because—well, you are in these battles, and you come back, and, last year, we had one firefight with 30 enemy KIA [killed in action], and you never know for sure who got who.”
Seriously though, Peter, great question. I'm sure there is nothing Nate Boyer would like recalling more than those times he ended another person's life. It probably doesn't affect him psychologically or emotionally, so it's not an insensitive question to ask at all.
Recently, Eagles coach Chip Kelly and his sports science coordinator—former U.S. Naval Special Warfare personal coach Shaun Huls—visited Glazer’s gym. Boyer met Kelly. “How much do you weigh?” Kelly asked. That’s what every coach will want to know, at least those who are thinking of giving the longest of shots a chance.
“Two-twenty,” Boyer told him.
Then Chip Kelly tried to trade Boyer to the Packers for a 6th round pick, simply out of habit.
One more thing: Boyer has another mission.
“The veteran suicide rate is 22 a day,” he said. “Twenty-two a day! Unacceptable. Totally unacceptable. People out there are trying to fix that, and I am one of those people. I want to prove to those leaving the military that if you believe in yourself and work and sacrifice, the same way you did in the military, you can achieve what you want in society. I want to make a difference for veterans, and what they can do in the world.”
That starts with a job offer in May, after the NFL draft.
To be fair to Nate Boyer, though it wouldn't fit Peter's want for making dramatic statements, he could very well achieve this without playing in the NFL. It's not like making the Texas football team and then being invited to an NFL team's training camp wouldn't prove that veterans can make a difference in the world once they come back from their tour of duty. I know, this isn't dramatic enough for Peter, so he'll act like the only way Boyer can make a difference for veterans is if he plays in the NFL.
The NFL’s first full-time female official will arrive in the 96th season of the league, now that Sarah Thomas has been hired. Aaron Wilson of the Baltimore Sun reported Thomas’ hire Friday, and though the league wouldn’t confirm it, the story’s a lock. Thomas will be a full-time line judge starting this summer.
Chris Paul wants to know how she'll run down the field with all of her lady parts and keep up with the middle-aged male officials?
Thomas, married with three children, became a finalist for an NFL job in 2013, was a finalist again last year, and this year, with eight new officials being hired, was finally one of the new officials elevated.
Peter should ask Sarah Thomas how she plans on balancing her work life with the time she wants to dedicate to her children and whether she is trying to "have it all." He's asking veterans how many people they killed, so he may as well go full heel in his line of questioning.
The line judge is on the line of scrimmage near the sideline, opposite the head linesman. The line judge is the backup timekeeper, works with the linesman on offside and encroachment calls, and, once the ball is snapped, follows the closest slot back or flanker to that side downfield seven yards.
Well, that's just great. Women can never be on time for anything, but the NFL is going to hire a woman to be the backup timekeeper? This will never work. Besides, how is Sarah Thomas going to follow a flanker while wearing heels? WHAT A TERRIBLE IDEA TO HIRE A WOMAN FOR A MAN'S JOB! How many people has she killed?
When she has worked, she stuffs her blonde ponytail under her hat and looks like any other official.
Thanks for pointing out what Sarah Thomas does with her hair during the game. If you had not brought it up, I would have been concerned Thomas would have been too focused on making sure her ponytail is straight as opposed to officiating the NFL game. I'm really glad Peter pointed out what Thomas does with her hair. I was deeply concerned she would try to bring a full-length mirror on the field in the middle of the game to make sure her hair looks good, just like any woman would do.
When she worked a Cleveland Browns practice in 2012, several players said they didn’t notice anything different about the line judge until it was pointed out that the line judge was a woman. If that happens on the field this year, Thomas—and the NFL—will be very happy.
She better keep that blonde ponytail tucked up under her hat or else the players may get distracted by her feminine wiles.
PFF has some good information on the draftable players. Such as:
Overrated? A sure-fire top-five pick, USC defensive tackle Leonard Williams, was underproductive in obvious passing situations. On third-and-long he produced only eight pressures (two hits, six hurries) on 94 pass rushes. That earned a Pass-Rush Productivity number of 6.4, well below the class average for interior defensive linemen of 7.6.
I don't know if this means Leonard is overrated or that teams doubled him in obvious passing situations. That's a possibility too.
Baylor quarterback Bryce Petty has a good deep arm. Petty completed 34 of 95 passes on balls thrown at least 20 yards downfield. They went for 1,472 yards, 20 touchdowns and one interception. The 20 touchdowns led all FBS quarterbacks on such deep throws, while the yardage total was second-highest.
Uh-oh, Bryce Petty is the new Tom Savage. Next thing we know, Peter King will be writing a MMQB about how Petty is the hot new quarterback in the draft because he has so many individual workouts lined up and because Petty's agent will do a great job of pretending his client is going to be drafted 1-2 rounds before any logical GM would draft him.
This is anecdotal evidence, but I wonder how many of these deep balls were thrown to receivers who were wide open as compared to thrown to receivers who were being covered and there was a tight window to throw into? I only ask because I feel like every time I saw a highlight of Baylor scoring a touchdown the ball was being thrown to a wide open receiver due to the Baylor offensive scheme being so good. Again, it's anecdotal evidence.
“We found out there was a bar called the Cricket Inn, or the Cricket, which was a popular bar there at Oklahoma State. Our [scout] would sit there for a week. He sat there for one week, went in every day at 3 o’clock and stayed till 11 o’clock at night. That was his job. And we checked: How many times did Justin Blackmon come in? And he came in too many times. And we took him off our board.”
—Former Tampa Bay GM Mark Dominik, on why the Bucs took Justin Blackmon off their draft board in 2012.
Too bad the Jaguars didn’t have a spy in the Cricket in 2012.
While this sounds slightly creepy and a little bit smart, the Buccaneers did draft Mark Barron with the 7th pick in the draft. So before marveling at how much research the Buccaneers did, I don't want to forget they took Blackmon off the draft board and then screwed up their first round pick anyway.
“It’s just like the Michael Sam situation. If he wasn’t gay, he would have gone undrafted. Instead, the league drafts him because I think they are trying to monopolize every aspect of the world. The same thing with a female ref. For the league, it’s great publicity. The NFL is all about monopolizing every opportunity.”
—Jacksonville defensive tackle Sen’Derrick Marks, to TMZ, about the NFL’s hiring of Sarah Thomas as the first full-time female game official.
It certainly sounds like the NFL is ready for a woman ref. Though I'm not sure how the NFL really got great publicity from Michael Sam getting drafted, other than it got the NFL in the news on the third day of the draft when the NFL would probably be in the news anyway.
Super Bowl MVP Tom Brady and Defensive Player of the Year J.J. Watt finished the 2014 season at the top of their respective games, Brady leading two fourth-quarter touchdown drives to win the Super Bowl over Seattle and Watt compiling one of the best defensive seasons a player has ever had.
Combined, their 2015 salary-cap number is $27.97 million. Brady’s is $14 million, Watt’s $13.97 million.
How the two NFL stars’ 2015 compensation compares to some dynamic baseball duos:
| Matt Harrison/Jhonny Peralta | $28.20 million |
| Miguel Montero/Curtis Granderson | $28.00 million |
| Tom Brady/J.J. Watt | $27.97 million |
| Trevor Cahill/John Danks | $27.95 million |
| Jayson Werth/Eric O’Flaherty | $27.85 million |
A few things here:
1. One sport has a salary cap and the other sport does not have a salary cap. While this may be a part of Peter's point, it's fairly obvious that a sport with a salary cap is going to have lower contract numbers for the players than a sport without a salary cap would have. It's so obvious that it doesn't really merit a comparison like this. Maybe it's more interesting than I give it credit for.
2. Peter has chosen players from baseball who are generally overpaid. How about he chooses a few baseball players that don't fit the narrative he wants to push? Baseball and football have differently salary structures. For the first 6 seasons of a baseball player's career he could end up playing for a fraction of his real worth. So Peter is choosing only the expensive underachieving/overpaid baseball players that fit his narrative. Still, baseball players make more than football players. That's not news.
3. How about Peter compares the salaries of some overpaid NFL players to MLB players that don't make quite what they are worth? How about Peter's boy Josh McCown who has a cap hit of $8.65 million from the Buccaneers and Browns. Matt Schaub has a cap hit of $2 million. That's $10.65 million for two backup quarterbacks and Mike Trout and Garrett Richards are only making $9.283 million this year!
How about Michael Johnson, who is making $9.6 million this year for the Buccaneers and Bengals? Anthony Collins is making $3 million this year. Neither of them are even on the Buccaneers team anymore. Meanwhile, the Rays are paying Evan Longoria and Alex Cobb $15 million this year.
Mr. Starwood Preferred Member Travel Note of the Week
Readers of this column know how much I love Amtrak and train travel in general. But there are some times, way too often, that stupid little things go bad on a trip, and for those who don’t love train travel the way I do, I wonder if little events like this make people say, “I’m better off driving.”
By writing "how much I love Amtrak and train travel in general" Peter means "how much I love train travel when everything goes perfectly but then I bitch about any inconvenience in train travel in the most public way possible once something goes wrong."
Thursday evening, Amtrak regional train heading north to Penn Station in New York … Train pulls out of Newark for the nine-minute ride to New York City. It took 47 minutes. It inched, stopped, inched, rode for a minute, inched, stopped, stayed stopped, inched, etc. No explanation. I’ll get on the train again, many times. A bunch of the grumblers, well, I’m not sure. Things like that happen far too often on those regional trains.
It sounds like the police should have gotten involved. This is a crime of historic proportions. I'm just glad Peter King is here to tell his audience that, in fact, public transportation is not always reliable.
Ten Things I Think I Think
1. I think the most stunning piece of news from the last few days, other than Sarah Thomas’s hiring, was Chris Mortensen’s report that the Browns had basically moved on from Johnny Manziel. The way he described it on ESPN was that, when the offensive staff was putting together the offseason program, “Manziel’s name barely even came up in conversation.” I can tell you this: Mortensen is 100 percent accurate here. In fact, when the quarterbacks have been discussed this offseason in-house, Josh McCown is the dominant talking point, and then Thad Lewis, signed last month as a free agent. Then comes Manziel and Connor Shaw.
After one season they give up on him I see. Why not?
2. I think the moral of this story is this: Manziel has done too much damage to his reputation with owner Jimmy Haslam, GM Ray Farmer and coach Mike Pettine to be taken seriously in Cleveland when he returns to the team, which is likely to be in the next week or so.
Which, by the way, Manziel's reputation won't mean shit if he comes back to Browns' camp and starts playing really well. That is the key to Browns management not giving a crap about a reputation, just start to play well. Winning cures all.
3. I think I am dubious that Manziel going to rehab was his idea.
I think I'm wondering why Peter King uses three separate numbers to discuss the exact same topic (Johnny Manziel) when these three points could all be discussed under #1. Peter does this all the time and it annoys the nitpicker in me.
All three points are about Johnny Manziel, his reputation and his future in Cleveland. Yet, for some reason, Peter believes they require three separate points rather than have these points all come under point #1.
7. I think I’ll believe the new and improved Josh Freeman—who signed with the Dolphins after being out of football last year—when I see it.
Peter can't resist getting a shot at Josh Freeman in when he sees that Freeman might get a chance to play in the NFL. I will never understand what Peter King has against Josh Freeman. All I can guess is that Freeman helped get Peter King's friend Greg Schiano fired in Tampa Bay and that's why he doesn't like Josh Freeman. In terms of NFL players who have been overpaid by an NFL team, Freeman isn't in the Top 20 of NFL players over the last two years. Matt Schaub made something like $8 million last year to be the backup to Derek Carr and Josh McCown made $4.75 million to help the Buccaneers get the #1 overall draft pick in this year's draft through his shitty play. Still, Peter will go to bat for McCown and talk about what a great teacher he is for other quarterbacks. But Josh Freeman sucked for the Vikings and made $2 million in the process, which is a felony that Peter King won't ever let Freeman live down. I wonder why.
Josh Freeman is a good dude, a good player, and glad he's getting another chance.
— mike freeman (@mikefreemanNFL) April 2, 2015
Either the Freeman family is sticking up for each other (they aren't related in reality) or not everyone in the NFL hates Josh Freeman with the vigor and ferocity that Peter King does.
9. I think this Chicago headline means absolutely nothing to me: “Football autographed by Cutler gets no bids at charity event.” I just don’t care that a reviled player tries to do something nice for someone, or for some charity, and doesn’t get the football bought by anyone. I understand it suggests the community doesn’t like him, but we needed fans to pass on a signed football in a charity auction to know that? I don’t think so.
Peter doesn't need to know fans passed on buying a signed Jay Cutler football in order to know Bears fans don't like him, but Peter feels it is vitally important to point out what a waste of human flesh Josh Freeman is every opportunity he can get. Freeman was out of football last year, does it merit a mention that he'll have to prove he can play quarterback at an NFL level any more than a Jay Cutler signed football not being bought proves Bears fans aren't happy with Cutler?
10. I think these are my non-football thoughts of the week:
e. Mike Krzyzewski was hired to coach Duke on March 18, 1980—six days after I was hired to cover Xavier basketball and the Reds for the Cincinnati Enquirer. What a long strange trip it’s been.
And when I think of Coach K, my thoughts immediately go to the parallel that he and Peter King were hired within days of each other. Two lofty and haughty men, entering their business at the same time. Wait, Coach K went to Army. Why doesn't Peter King ask him how many people he killed?
f. I want to like Duke tonight. But I say Wisconsin on a Frank the Tank putback in the closing seconds.
It's your opinion. If you want to like Duke, you can literally do that if you want to.
j. Barry Zito outrighted to Triple-A by the A’s. I am officially not just old, but ancient.
Barry Zito is 36 years old and he isn't even close to being one of the oldest players who will be optioned to Triple-A by a major league team over the past/next few years. Why does this make Peter King feel old? Peter confuses me.
l. Coffeenerdness: Memo to Starbucks: If you want to see an assembly line of efficiency at an incredibly busy store, go to your place at Penn Station in Manhattan during morning rush hour.
Yes, every Starbucks employee in the New York area should go to the Penn Station Starbucks during the morning rush so that Peter's favorite Starbucks will be closed during this time and Peter can bitch about how not every Starbucks employee should have been away at the same time. If this did happen then it would really test the ability of the Penn Station Starbucks to handle a rush, once a thousand people all show up at the same time.
I did a quick count when I walked at about 7:45 Thursday morning. Forty-eight people, either in line or waiting for their drink. I was out with my coffee at 7:53. Three great baristas, working cheerfully, efficiently. My flat white was perfect. Not sure what the moral of the story is, other than you’ve got some really good people at that store.
I'm not sure how Peter King manages to find the time to balance his busy writing career and being the Quality Assurance Manager for every hotel/Starbucks/retail facility in the United States, but he does an impressive job of making sure everyone else is working as hard as he thinks they should be.
The Adieu Haiku
Day 73.
Ted Wells still studying Pats.
I mean, come on now.
This very well could have just been a sentence in the things that Peter thinks he thinks. This "Adieu Haiku" must go. It's purposeless and it hasn't even killed anyone recently.
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
11 comments Bob Raissman Is Surprised American Announcers on an American Sports Network Have a Bias Towards the US Men's National Soccer Team
This article should probably be filed under, "Well, I have to write about something, I'm out of ideas, and I have a deadline coming up, so I'm going to think hard and create a problem where there isn't necessarily one." Bob Raissman is a little disappointed that the ESPN World Cup voices appeared to be siding with the United States Men's National Soccer team. I sort of figured the announcers would have a pro-American bias since ESPN has the American broadcast rights to the World Cup, but perhaps that was just me. Either way, I can't believe I'm going to defend ESPN, but here goes anyway. It shouldn't be a surprise to find out these ESPN voices are invested in the American team doing well. Fans who want to watch the World Cup and happen to live in the United States most likely have an interest in Team USA.
Despite our recent enrollment in Mike (Sports Pope) Francesa’s Institute of Remedial Soccerology, there are still things we don’t get about ESPN’s World Cup voices.
Despite our recent enrollment in Mike (Sports Pope) Francesa’s Institute of Remedial Soccerology, there are still things we don’t get about ESPN’s World Cup voices.
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