5 comments Joe Morgan(s) Changes The Day of His Chats, But This Doesn't Chance the Rhythm

Two weeks ago we had Joe Morgan's brain quit on him in mid-chat and last week we had the introduction of the childhood trauma-inducing Inconsistency Monster that has possibly caused Joe Morgan's adult infatuation with consistency. This week I think we have the imposter-Joe answering some questions and I think this for two reasons. First, Joe chats past 11:30am, which isn't very consistent of him since he never seems to have done this before and the "Buzzmaster" also doesn't have to capture Joe in order to get him in the room to chat. Joe chats on his own free will, which is a nice change.

The chat may have moved to Wednesday, but Joe's rambling paragraphs haven't ended fortunately for us. This week we learn what a great pitcher the lead singer for Dishwalla is, Joe singlehandedly destroys the English language and teaches us how to get stains out of a baseball uniform.

I am kidding about last part, but it really wouldn't shock me if Joe gave an impromptu Home-Economics lesson followed by a discussion of how consistency in baking is the key to a spectacular tasting spinach souffle.

JM: Hello!

Hey!

I did not think Stephen Strasburg could live up to all the hype ... but he was fantastic. He definitely performed as advertised. To strike out 8 of the last 9 is just amazing for such a young player. To have that kind of composure and stamina is amazing!

It appears Joe Morgan has been popping "uppers" before chat today. He is just so damn happy!

Daniel (Tallahassee)

Joe, I realize Strasburg was amazing but shouldn't the Pirates be kind of embarrassed by their performance? Like Tim Kurkjian said, several of those at-bats weren't even competititve. Do you think they let the hype around Strasburg get to them?

JM: I don't think they should be embarrased.
Though the same can't be said for how Joe should feel about his ability to spell. He should be embarrassed about that.

If you go back and look, they hit a lot of balls hard. They were leading 2-1 so you can't say they weren't competitive.

I would say 14 strikeouts by a team in 7 innings is not being competitive. The mere fact the Pirates at one point had two runs doesn't mean they were competitive, it means Delwyn Young hit a home run with a runner on base. Joe shouldn't let the fact the Nationals can't score runs lead him to believe the Pirates were competitive. They got those two runs off a base hit and a home run. In fact three of the four hits Strasburg gave up were in the 4th inning. The Pirates weren't competitive the rest of the game against Strasburg.

David (Texas)

Has there ever been another debut that you can think of that compares to Strasburgs last night based on performance?

JM: I always thought that when I saw J.R. Richards pitch that he was going to be the best pitcher ever.

I didn't know the lead singer of the 90's alt-rock band Dishwalla was a great pitcher. I guess you learn something new everyday. J.R. Richards could have been the best pitcher ever if he hadn't decided to become the lead singer of a band that was a one-hit wonder.

I think Joe meant J.R. Richard. He will continue to call him "J.R. Richards" throughout the chat. It says at the top of J.R. Richards wikipedia page, "not to be confused with baseball player J.R. Richard." Oh yes wikipedia, J.R. Richards is TO BE confused with the baseball player J.R. Richard.

We can excuse Joe though, he and Richard only played together for one year on the Astros. How is he supposed to remember the exact name of the pitcher he thought would be one of the best pitchers ever and also happened to be an ex-teammate of his?

JM: He just had that stroke but didn't get to live up to his potential.
He didn't JUST have that stroke. It happened in 1980, which is 30 years ago, or "last week" as it is known in Joe Morgan's world. Joe was on the same team as Richard at the time when he had the stroke too.

Or is Joe saying Richard just had the stroke, like it was a minor setback similar to some tendonitis in your elbow, that Richard should have bounced back from? If so, Joe Morgan you are a heartless bastard. I think he is already pretty heartless for throwing an extra "s" on Richard's name. As a baseball fan, you should know it is Richard, and you should know this more since you played on the same team as him.

Joe meeting J.R. Richard at a MLB social event:

(Joe Morgan sees J.R. Richard) "Hey, it's J.R. Richards. How are you" (pretends to shoot air guns into Richard's stomach and then shakes his hand)

(J.R. Richard clearly upset he is at the same event as Joe Morgan) "Joe, we played together. It is Richard, not Richards."

(Joe Morgan) "Well no wonder you went by J.R. Richards, who who wants to be called Richard Richards? Good move my friend. How's that stroke going?"

(J.R. Richard) "Joe, I had the stroke thirty years ago. I am fine now. J.R. Richards is the lead singer of a band called Dishwalla, I am J.R. Richard."

(Joe Morgan) "Ok, Richard Richards." (winks at J.R. Richard knowingly)

(J.R. Richard) "Seriously, I am not that guy. His band sang a song that went (starts singing) "Tell me all your thoughts on God..."

(Joe Morgan) "I'm sorry J.R. Richards, I can't tell you any of my thoughts on God because I haven't personally seen him. It's hard for me to say what I think because I haven't had a chance to see him yet. It seems like he is a good guy and has a firm grasp on what he does, but I can't say for sure because I haven't seen him yet. Hey, enjoy the party Richard Richards, I have to hit the road because I just saw Tony Perez walk in the room. Take care of yourself and please don't suffer another stroke."

(J.R. Richard screaming at Joe as he walks away) "I haven't had a stroke in thirty years and it is J.R. RICHARD!" (has another stroke)
From what I saw from Strasburg, he has a chance to be one of the greatest pitchers ever.

So Joe thinks Strasburg has the chance to be one of the greatest pitchers of all-time?

It's unfair to say he is better than some of the great pitchers of all-time,

Which is exactly what Joe just stated Strasburg has a chance be. So Joe's brain and fingers are again fighting for control over what Joe is saying. Joe's brain says let's hold our horses and not go overboard, but Joe's fingers are already filling out Strasburg's Hall of Fame nomination form.

He has great stuff. But you have to wait and see where this goes. Things can go wrong that you don't expect.

Like a lack of consistency or a stroke...just like that lead singer of Dishwalla.
Alex (dc)

Joe any plans yet for you and Jon to come to nats park and see strausburg pitch or on the road for Sunday night baseball since Orel was there yesterday

JM: I'd love to do one of his games, for sure. I thought MLB Network only used pitchers to cover the game. I wish they would have had a hitter there doing analysis to give that side of things. It would have been great to hear Tony Gwynn or Cal Ripken or George Brett give their take.

I'm guessing it would have been a lot easier for MLB Network to use Tony Gwynn, George Brett or Cal Ripken to give their take on the game if they were actually employed by the MLB Network. All my research shows that MLB Network doesn't employ these people, so that makes it hard for them to give their take and cover the game.
Jason (Houston)

Which game would you rather have seen in person ... Halladay's perfect game or Strasburg's debut?

JM: That's a great question! That's a close your eyes and wake up and you'd be happy at either.

(The English language hangs itself)

I've been involved in no-hitters, on both sides, but never a perfect game. The best thing for me was a Jim Malone no-hitter against us

(The English language tries to hang itself again)

Also, it was Jim Maloney who threw the no-hitter, not Jim Malone. J.R. Richard, you have company in the group of "people that Joe Morgan name drops, but name drops incorrectly," don't feel so bad my friend.

and then the next night our team pitched a no-hitter!

The pitcher for Joe's team didn't throw a no-hitter, it was the entire fucking team that pitched a no-hitter. Each player on the team got one inning to pitch and ended up throwing a no-hitter against the opposing team. That's back when teams were more consistent and there were teams that had good offenses and good defenses where anyone could throw a no-hitter no matter what position they played because THEY WERE BASEBALL PLAYERS DAMMIT!

Matt (Hattiesburg, MS)

I imagine you have quite a collection of baseball memorabilia. Do you have a favorite item? If you can own any piece of baseball history, what would it be?

JM: The one I'm the most proud of is the first ball I autographed as a Hall of Famer. I noted the time and the exact time and gave it to my father. My father passed away but we still have the ball.

(Joe Morgan's father in 1992) "I want to be buried with that ball you autographed for me right after you entered the Hall of Fame. It means so much to me."

(Joe Morgan) "Sure dad, I would be honored."

(Years later, Joe Morgan steals the ball from his father's casket at his father's wake) "My precious..."

john (cincinnati)

joe, do you think that pitching has re-emerged because baseball has cleaned up much of the p.e.d. problem (not including hgh)?

JM: That is one thing that has been pointed out. I have to be honest and say I tend to lean that way as well. But I also know that pitching has advanced more in the last few years than hitting. We went through a spell where the changeup was the best pitch and then the slider

What the hell is Joe even talking about here? So during the PED years, the changeup was the best pitch and then the slider was the second-best pitch. Did Randy Johnson, Roger Clemens, Pedro Martinez, and Johan Santana not throw a fastball? Sure, they complemented that pitch with other pitches, but it isn't like pitchers were lobbing the ball up there. A changeup may have been a great offspeed pitch, but when has that really changed over the years?

Randy Johnson went 24-5 with a 2.32 ERA and 334 strikeouts right in the middle of the Steroid Era. There were good pitchers who weren't flamethrowers that won games as well, but there was never a time when the changeup and slider was the big pitch. There have always been good pitchers in MLB and they used their fastball very effectively and threw the ball hard.

... more trick pitches ... now you see the hard throwers being the most successful.

I guess Joe thinks a slider or a changeup is a trick pitch...not a way to keep the batter off balance, but a trick pitch. Also, hard throwers have always been successful. Just check out the Cy Young award winner list during the Steroid Era sometime to confirm this. Randy Johnson, Pedro Martinez and Roger Clemens are all over that list.
Strasburg, Galarraga, Halladay, Jiminez .. all these guys are hard throwers with a great fastball. Four years ago that wasn't really the case, guys overpowering hitters.

From the period of 2005-2009 only three of the Cy Young Award winners in both leagues had less than 200 strikeouts.
Matt (Pittsburgh)

Hey Joe, if you had to face him, how would you approach an at-bat against Strasburg?

(Joe's brain thinks about it and believes this to be a good query)

JM: Good question.

(Joe's fingers take over and start typing gibberish)

One of the differences in a three-man booth is that everybody has their own thought or things they see at the park. It's not bad, just different. I'm limited to what I can talk about, Orel is limited, Jon, etc. There is only so much time.

(Joe's brain gives up and researches when dementia begins to over in humans)

I'm pretty sure Matt from Pittsburgh didn't ask Joe anything about the difference in a three-man booth versus a two-man booth.

I tried to make sure the pitcher threw a strike. A lot of guys were swinging at pitches out of the zone. I think the only thing you can do is make sure you get a strike to hit ... and don't miss it!

It's a shame Joe Morgan isn't a hitting coach.

(Joe as a hitting coach) "Be sure to make the pitcher throw a strike and then hit that ball for a base hit."

(Player #1) "How do we make the pitcher throw a strike and then get a hit? We know how to swing a baseball bat, but HOW do we get a hit. Do we keep our hands inside our body while swinging, just try to make contract, swing hard...what approach should we take."

(Joe Morgan and begins to walk away) "Just be consistent in your swing."

(Entire team gives up baseball immediately)

Woody (C-Ville)

With everyone increasing the hype about Bryce Harper, do you see him becoming a star, average player or a bust?

JM: I've never seen him play but Strasburg has proven himself. We have to give Harper that same chance.

Right. Because there is just a natural comparison between a three-year college pitcher drafted and a 17 year-old junior college catcher who were both drafted #1 by the same team. I know Joe didn't make a direct comparison, but these two players should not have their progress measured in any way with each other, even in regard to how they prove themselves.
It's harder to become a refined hitter than a pitcher. Hitting is just tougher to do, period.

I don't know if this statement has any type of factual basis. I would actually think it would be harder to become a refined pitcher.
Woody (C-Ville)

Whats wrong with Zack Grienke this year? He doesnt seem like the dominant pitcher we saw last year.

JM: This tells you how difficult it is to stay a star. Another example ... Brendan Ryan hit close to .300 last year and is at about .190 now.

This may be the first and only time Brendan Ryan and the word "star" are used in the same sentence outside of "Brendan and Ryan, I have a question about whether that is a star I see in the sky or is that a comet?"

Shawn Figgins as well.

(The link here to a wedding for a "Shawn Figgins" was removed at the request of the linked wedding site) I hear the wedding was lovely though.

I know "Shawn" is a common misspelling of Chone Figgins' name, but if your career is based on following baseball and the players who play baseball, and you get paid to analyze baseball...shouldn't you know the correct spelling of Chone Figgins? The answer is "yes."

It's just incredibly hard to stay consistent in this league.

(Joe glances over in fear at the Inconsistency Monster who is slamming a baseball bat down in his hand repeatedly, waiting to go on the attack, knowing Joe only used the word "consistent" once in this chat.)

Chris Fiegler (Latham,NY)

What is the Hardest Stadium To Hit HRs at out of the ones you have Played in?

JM: The Astrodome ... where I played!

Where the hell else would be the hardest stadium to hit home runs, Chris from New York?

Here is the rest of Joe's "best" and "hardest" list from baseball history:

Best player of all-time: The entire 1975-1976 Reds team
Best player (for real) of all-time: Tony Perez
Best fielder of all-time: Dave Concepcion
Best hustler of all-time: Pete Rose
Hardest place to field a ground ball: The Astrodome and Riverfront Stadium
Hardest place to field a fly ball: The Astrodome and Riverfront Stadium
Funniest person in the world: Tony Perez
Best player who isn't in the Hall of Fame: Dave Concepcion
Hardest line drive ever hit: Anything Tony Perez hit, including his bunts
Best manager of all-time: Sparky Anderson
Most consta-consistent hitter of all-time: The entire 1975-1976 Reds team
Best pitcher of all-time: J.R. Richards

Dan (NY)

Strasburg's next start is June 13th at Cleveland. Then the Nationals have a VERY INTERESTING decision. They can pitch him every 5th game which would be June 19th at CWS and June 25th at Baltimore. OR They can pitch him every 5th day which would be June 18th at CWS and home June 23rd vs KC....If they go every 5th day, they get an extra home game from him and a TON more money (my guess is at least a million dollars).

JM: I don't think it's too much focus on the strikeouts. It was a perfect matchup for him. Free swingers. I think the event itself was over-hyped.

So Joe thinks the event was over-hyped? I wonder if he sticks to this position during this entire paragraph?

But I have to say he did his part. He lived up to the hype completely.

So the event was over-hyped, but Strasburg lived up to the hype completely...which means the event WASN'T over-hyped. Joe's answers certainly are roller-coaster rides for the reader.

(Joe Morgan's daughter asking him how late she can stay out at night) "Dad, can I stay out until midnight tonight?"

(Joe Morgan) "Sure, honey. You can stay out until midnight, that's fine. Be sure to be back before 11:30pm or I will ground you."

I was suspicious of him being as good as he is but he was great.

Joe was suspicious of Strasburg. Let's see if he can hold this position for more than one sentence.

We have to wait and see what he does the next time and the next time and the next time.

Nope, he can't. It sure sounds like Joe is still suspicious of Strasburg being good...either that or he is initiating a full-on assault of the English language and using "was" in the present tense. That's always a possibility.

Justin (Chicago)

Mark Priors debut: 6 innings, 4 hits, 2 runs, 1 HR, 10 k's......vs the Pirates. Wierd, huh?

JM: And I'm more skeptical than most. I've seen so many great pitchers come into the league.

So I guess Joe was using "was" in the present tense. Fuck you English language! Joe Morgan did want beat you down until your have no will live anymore.

Doc Gooden. J.R. Richards. Tom Seaver. I've seen so many great pitchers at the start of their careers. Some were good and some were great. No guarantees.

Joe just listed three great pitchers as an example of how you never know how a first start will lead to a career. A normal person would throw in a guy who had a great first start and a shitty career to prove a pitcher's career can go in any direction after a great first start...but Joe isn't a normal person.

Of course Doc Gooden got sidetracked by drugs and Richard (no "s") had a stroke, so basically Joe is saying if Strasburg doesn't use drugs or have a stroke he should make the Hall of Fame. There is no guarantee though, but outside of a freak accident or drug abuse, Strasburg should be inducted into the Hall of Fame since that is all that really held Gooden and Richard back.
I'm not a big fan of replay in general. There are so many plays that have a bearing on the outcome of the game. If you review everything, the pitcher is out there while something is being reviewed which chances the rhythm.

"Chances the rhythm..." I make die of you English language! You chance the accident by messing with Joe Morgan! He took words and makes them into longer words in sentence structure to make better worse life for you.
It was the final out so that call could have been changed.

I guess since it was the final out of the game, it didn't risk chancing the rhythm.

By the way, I want Joe to put out an album of jazz standards and call it "Chance the Rhythm." I want the cover to feature him with a red suede jacket over his shoulder leaning back slightly with the downtown lights of San Francisco at night in the background. If he doesn't do this, I will.
To review something in the 5th inning is different. I can live with it on HRs but what about a diving outfielder in the 5th inning with the bases loaded .. how do you fix that?

I would assume we could use the same rule that is used for a ground rule double and let the runners advance one or two bases.
Where would the runners go?

My best guess would be one of the three bases that are available for runners to stand while another batter is batting...or possibly to home plate and then their team's dugout. In lieu of this happening, all runners would be forced to hop a flight immediately to live in East St. Louis and given two days worth of food to see how long they can survive.
It becomes very complicated. I watched the end of the Bos-L.A. game last night and there were three replays. It really messed with the flow of the game for me.

I thought that game really chanced the rhythm too with all those instant replays (soft jazz music plays in the background with a saxophone prominent throughout as the reader reads this).

JM: Great questions today. I look forward to one of these days seeing Strasburg in person. He brings a lot to the game.

If only there was a way to get tickets to a baseball game. Why don't the Washington Nationals give their tickets away to the general public? That way Joe can see if Strasburg is more of a failure like J.R. Richards or a huge success like Tom Seaver.

Talk to you again next week!

May God have mercy on our souls.