Frank Deford wants to talk to everyone about child abuse. There are thousands of children every day who are affected by child abuse because of adults who should know better and the results of this abuse could affect them for the rest of their life. The children are being pawns in the adults plan to help these children lose their innocence. Yes, there are thousands of children out there who are being subjected to having to run trick plays on the football field at the insistence of their coach. That's Frank Deford's point of view.
I thought the same thing...what the hell Frank Deford he talking about? This column could not have been written by anyone under the age of 50. There's no way it is humanely possible for a person under 50 to have such a crazy and off-the-wall viewpoint. Only a person over the age of 50 years old would be crazy enough to equate a trick play to child abuse.
The title is "Trickery on the Football Field: Like Child Abuse?"
The answer is, "no."
This article was found on the NPR site, which based on some of the articles I have found there may be now doing ironic journalism like the Onion does. I'm not sure exactly, but from the content of some of the articles I've seen on it seems they leaning that way.
By now, you may be among the millions of people who've seen on YouTube the trick football play pulled off by the Driscoll Middle School of Corpus Christi, Texas.
I have. It's one of the worst displays of child abu---I mean it was a classic trick play.
If you've been watching President Obama abroad or otherwise wasting your time, here's what happens: Driscoll breaks out of the huddle, and the quarterback lines up over the ball. From the sideline, the assistant coach calls out that Driscoll deserves a five-yard penalty.
This story contains child abuse AND adults who lie to other adults in order to further the team's ability to win? The real question I have is whether this team from Driscoll is backed up by a group of uber-liberals who intend to turn our nation's morals inside out by showing children it is perfectly fine to deceive others. If we find this to be true, I'm telling Glen Beck about it immediately.
I bet this team from Driscoll also advocates the pump fake in basketball. If you are going to shoot the ball, shoot the ball...don't lie and deceive the other team in order to gain an advantage. Pump fakes are child abuse and the crossover dribble is a tool only pedophiles could love.
(Google analytics says people find this blog by doing a search for the specific words and people find this blog searching for the following words..."Nazi" after a JemeHill post I did, "crack" after a great post J.S. did, and now "pedophile" because of what I just wrote. There are a lot of disappointed people when they find a 10,000 word screed against Peter King on Mondays when they think they are getting pictures of crackheads)
At this point, the Driscoll center casually hands the ball over his shoulder to the quarterback. This is perfectly acceptable, even though we know that the center invariably delivers the ball through his legs.
Handing the ball to the quarterback over the shoulder is perfectly acceptable. Good to know. I feel like I am reading a parody of an old Furman Bisher column. I almost want to just re-print the article here and say nothing. The words are the joke.
The quarterback then takes the ball and starts to walk off five yards himself, as the opponents look on, confused. Then, clear of the opposition, the quarterback suddenly breaks into a run and dashes 67 yards for a touchdown.
Frank Deford forgets the child abuse part of this. This quarterback's head coach was chasing him with a grenade he would lob into the crowd in the direction of the child's parents if he didn't run this play and an assistant coach had the quarterback's dog held at knifepoint at home as a fail-safe option. This deception was going to be completed, no matter who had to pay with their life.
Well, it isn't funny, and it isn't right.
No, it's not funny. It is completely right and within the rules though. Now whether the play was overly deceptive is a debate for another day. I will say any defensive football player who sees that video will never relax in the future when the quarterback gets handed the ball with the idea the ball is not in play for fear the quarterback will take off with it.
Sure, athletes often employ gamesmanship, and I will now give you a lecture on situational ethics.
Sure, Frank Deford has no point in this column, but his grandchildren wouldn't listen to him when he tells them any Will Farrell move is NOT REAL COMEDY compared to anything Charlie Chaplin ever did, so he's pretty testy today. Young people don't ever listen to what the elderly have to say and it pisses Frank off.
Mostly people don't listen to crazy people who have lost some of what made them sane and write bizarre columns, like when Frank Deford says trickery in sports is akin to child abuse.
Remember this summer, when Derek Jeter, the all-American boy, idol of millions, faked getting hit by a pitch and his acting was so good he was awarded first base?
I do. This image of Jeter pretending to be hit by a pitch has caused me multiple nightmares. I think the most egregious part of this story is when Derek Jeter immediately won a Nobel Peace Prize after being awarded first base.
Well, Jeter is a grown-up, playing other grown-ups, in a game umpired by grown-ups. So are wide receivers who pretend to catch a pass that really hit the ground first, and basketball players who flop back as if they were fouled.
So it is fine for a grown-up to trick another grown-up, but not fine for a grown-up to trick a team of children who are coached by a grown-up in a game umpired by grown-ups? I guess my real question is...how the hell is this child abuse?
Just like the Driscoll Middle School quarterback, it is perfectly legal to act in a game. But the players who do that in the pros are not embarrassing the opposition.
Yes, they are embarrassing the competition in the pros. If that same move had been pulled in an NFL game the team that was on defense would be really, really embarrassed. In fact, a professional team would probably be more embarrassed than any other group that this trick got pulled on them.
They're just trying to con the umpire.
I get it. Because the grown-ups know exactly what they are doing then all bets are off and it is fine to run trick plays on the opposition.
What I don't get is how when grown-ups run trick plays they are only conning the umpire and not the other team. The team running the trick play IS conning the other team as well.
But the Driscoll team didn't act instinctively to try to put one over on a ref. The middle schoolers didn't even come up with the ruse.
These kids don't design, call and run their own plays? I bet this middle-school quarterback doesn't even have the ability to audible or change the play at the line of scrimmage. That's child abuse.
Their coach dreamed up the play, and even participated in it, hollering from the sideline.
The head coach of the team running the trick play was tricking the head coach for the other team. This play was really well-thought and may be on the line as far as sportsmanship goes, but I don't think it goes over that line.
The referees weren't victimized. In fact, they had to play along.
You mean the referees allowed a completely legal play to continue? Shouldn't they have put a stop to a completely legal trick play like this? If the referees aren't there to oversee exactly what legal plays the teams run against each other and stop those they don't agree with, then I ask, what is the point of even having officials on the field?
No, it was only the other team's kids who were embarrassed and belittled by a children's coach being a wise guy, a bully of sorts.
The kids who were "victimized" got to be on YouTube and around the Internet, I am sure they found that to be really neat.
It wasn't genius at all; rather, it was a form of child abuse.
No, it wasn't child abuse. To say this trick play is child abuse is to not only misunderstand what true child abuse is, but also a slap in the face to anyone who may have been abused as a child. A little embarrassment on a sports field is not child abuse.
Sure, it was legal, but it wasn't fair.
Which makes it child abuse? Is Frank Deford crazy?
Laugh at kids being outslicked by a grown-up, and you're cruel.
No one is laughing at the kids on the defense. Those people who watch the play are marveling at how well this trick play was conceived and executed. I have watched the video a few times and it is clear the opposing team was tricked, but I don't think it was overly embarrassing or scarring for them.
That isn't sport.
Nor is it child abuse. I hear there's a "Matlock" re-run on. Go and run off to watch it now.