Saturday, February 5, 2011

3 comments Bold Super Bowl Predictions

We posted our Super Bowl picks on Thursday, so feel free to look back from what we wrote on Thursday about the game to see what each of us said about the big game. I don't read what my fellow bloggers write until it is posted so I don't get influenced by what they write or accidentally put a similar point in theirs. I am weird like that. I probably should, but I don't. My point is that when I read Dylan's preview of the game he almost made me wish I had changed my pick to Green Bay...almost. It was more of a "heart over mind" issue with me though. As my wife said, she is surprised I didn't pick "my boyfriend" to win the game. I didn't do it though because I really believe the Steelers will win the game.

Having not done enough Super Bowl-oriented material, I thought we would do 10 more specific predictions to the game, as if we haven't made enough asses out of ourselves already with our analysis. Here are my 10 specific predictions for the Super Bowl. Some of them are hyper-specific.

1. Pittsburgh will use a trick play during the game. I will go further. They will use the trick play on the Packers 45 yard line and it won't involve Antwaan Randle-El at all. That's too obvious and the Packers will expect it.

2. Rashard Mendenhall will run for over 100 yards. Brandon Jackson will be the leading rusher for the Packers.

3. Ben Roethlisberger. Most likely the winning quarterback. Roethlisberger has been passed over twice for the award (rightly once) and will win it this year.

4. Mike Wallace will catch two passes over 30 yards long. One of these passes will caught due to him beating Sam Shields with a double move. Wallace will be the leading receiver in the game.

5. The quarterbacks will combine to be sacked 6 times in the game. Each quarterback will have one turnover. Roethlisberger will fumble the ball once and Rodgers will throw an interception.

6. James Harrison will get a penalty for leading with his head while making a tackle.

7. The Packers are going to open up the game throwing the ball a lot...and the Steelers are going to open up the game with not blitzing as much as they usually do in an effort to close off the passing lanes for Rodgers and make the Packers one dimensional.

8. Contrary to the last Super Bowl game the Steelers played in, we are going to have the feeling after this one is over that the Packers probably should have won. They may not have deserved to win, but they probably should have. Basically I am saying I think Green Bay will let the game slip away somehow.

9. The Steelers are going to frustrate Rodgers a bit early and not allow his receivers to gain extra yardage after the catch like they were able to do in the playoffs so far. Rodgers' yards per attempt will be under 6.0 in the first half.

10. The Packers will noticeably miss Jermichael Finley in this game. They will wish he were there to open up the field and put pressure on the Steelers linebackers.

Here are five other random predictions:

1. Roger Goodell will grimace when he hands Ben Roethlisberger the MVP trophy. Ben Roethlisberger will pat Goodell on the ass and then pretend to dry hump him. In his brief acceptance speech, Roethlisberger will dedicate his Super Bowl performance "to the ladies."

2. There will be at least one fight between a Packers and Steelers fan that gets some publicity. Most likely it will be over who is the true owner of some nachos found under the seat. It will later turn tragic when they both are eaten after the game by B.J. Raji who will say he mistook them for "rather Siamese twins dressed as large clowns." It won't make sense to the police either.

3. The name "Ben" will be spoken 67 times by Joe Buck. I know "Roethlisberger" is hard to say, but quit using his first name like he is your good buddy.

4. Aaron Rodgers will wear a throwback "Favre" jersey for the first half and throw two first quarter interceptions while constantly being praised for taking calculated risks by a confused Troy Aikman.

5. A drunken Bill Cowher will find his way on the field and challenge Mike Tomlin to a fight. Brett Favre will immediately see his opportunity to gain some relevance, break up the fight, and then begin plowing the field so the game can't be played. After the game is over, he will show the media pictures of his foot and describe how he was able to plow the field despite having a really, really sore foot. This will impress Peter King.


Since we're talking about hypothetical predictions that can be backed based on very little factual or logical evidence, it would seem that this is the perfect place for me to step in with 10 more predictions.

1. There will be a wardrobe malfunction during the halftime show.

2. B.J. Raji, when celebrating a sack, will surprise us with the best celebration of any kind during the 2010-11 season.

3. Aaron Rodgers will face off in a "our facemasks are touching in a semi-way-too-close way but there's no other way to trash talk intensely in the NFL" battle with a Steelers' linebacker.

4. The first special teams play of the game (tackle or good kickoff return) will be celebrated in an absurdly excessive manner.

5. Neither Mike McCarthy nor Mike Tomlin will crack a smile the entire game.

6. Ben Roethlisberger will have at least one "my uncommon methods are just as good as anything Brady or Manning can do" moment.

7. Joe Buck and Troy Aikman will attribute the first penalty of the game to nerves.

8. Jerry Jones will accept the Lombardi Trophy on behalf of the winning team.

9. At least 10 NFL players (not participating in the Super Bowl) will attempt to draw attention away from the game and to themselves through an unnecessary tweet.

10. The best Super Bowl commercial will be completely unrelated to alcohol.


cs said...

Dylan's #3: Abso-fucking-loutely. I'd even say, there will be one of these that escalates into a heated mixer, with a ref falling over backwards. I'd even say he falls over backwards towards the camera. #4: Haha, absolutely, and #5: Yes, and #7: Yes, we have come to know Joe and Troy too well by now. Too bad these aren't real props.

Dylan said...


I'd love to see a ref fall backwards, the hat go flying and everyone realize that they may have severely injured a 50-60 year old man. You would think every ref would look like Ed Hochuli. If I had to put my money on any of the predictions, I'd put it on #3.

cs said...

Haha, yeah, after I posted, I was like, wait a minute, his hat has to come flying off too. Dude, #3 is so going to happen, I'd wager my life on it. It akin to the "a player doing the Lambeau Leap" prop that was going off at +110. Really? That's not going to happen?