Saturday, May 24, 2014

2 comments Skip Bayless Says He Hasn't Found His New Tim Tebow in Johnny Manziel By Writing a Column Where He Compares Tebow To Manziel

Look everyone, Skip Bayless has not found his new Tim Tebow. Johnny Manziel is not his new Tim Tebow, the guy that Skip will go on television everyday and talk about in his typical trolling manner. It's not happening. See, Manziel is so much better than Tebow. That's how they are different. To prove he hasn't found his new Tebow in Manziel, Skip Bayless writes an entire column comparing Tebow and Manziel. That'll show us that Skip hasn't moved on from Tebow to Manziel. In fact, Skip thinks it's an insult to Manziel to say he is the "new Tebow" and he will prove it by talking about Manziel in the exact same way he used to talk about Tebow. On a related note, Skip Bayless is the worst. Can't we deport him to another planet?

I was right about Tim Tebow and I will be right on a much higher level about Johnny Manziel.

As usual, this column isn't really about Johnny Manziel, the NFL, Tim Tebow or anything sports-related. It's about Skip Bayless. Naturally.

What Tebow kept pulling off late in games for the 2011 Denver Broncos, Manziel will make happen for all four quarters of NFL games.

But again, they are NOT comparable and Skip Bayless isn't saying Manziel is the "new Tebow." Not at all, but let's continue with the comparisons of the two players shall we?

Manziel has Tebow's miracle-making will, electrified by far more quickness, speed, accuracy, radar and football IQ.

But again, Manziel isn't Skip's "new Tebow," not at all. He's just going to compare the two quarterbacks continuously.

Manziel has Tebow's rare intangibles heightened by rarer tangibles.

Manziel isn't the "new Tebow," he is the "bigger and better" Tebow whose numerically intangible skill set has been heightened by his numerically tangible skill set. He isn't "the new Tebow," but is Tebow 2.0...which is totally different.

Tebow was a phenomenon. Manziel will be a perennial Pro Bowler, a Michael Vick fully capable of picking you to pieces from the pocket.

Great analysis since two of the weaknesses criticized in Manziel's game are his ability to see coverage and throw the ball from the pocket and that his preference is to escape from the pocket at the first sight of pressure. Clearly Skip has been watching zero tape of Manziel nor read a scouting report on Manziel's game.

So please do not say I now have my "new Tebow." That's an insult to Manziel.


"You know everything I said about Tebow? Just ignore that. It's not that I was wrong, but the hyperbole I constantly threw in the face of viewers when discussing Tebow isn't even being as close to true as the hyperbole I am going to throw in the face of viewers when discussing Manziel. Again, I wasn't wrong about Tebow, I just exaggerated for effect...which is completely different from being wrong."

I wrote a year ago that Manziel was already operating on a higher level than Tebow ever had --

"My obsession with talking about Johnny Manziel makes my obsession with Tim Tebow look like a little school boy crush."

Next season, Manziel will have the same national impact on some lucky city that Tebow did on Denver and its Broncos in 2011. And it will last.

"No, guys. It's for real this time. I'm really in love with Johnny Manziel and nothing is going to make it go away. We are going to live together and get married on a mountain, then our children are going to form a band and hold concerts that none of you will be invited to."

Before Tebow's draft, I said I would take him late in the first round. Josh McDaniels, then Denver's coach, took him 25th.

"Me, me, me...I was right. Look at me, guys! Look what I can do! Give me attention!"

I said Tebow would never make a Pro Bowl but he would win games as a starting quarterback if given a chance in his college spread-option offense.

Yes, if given the chance to run a college offense against college players Tim Tebow certainly would thrive. Unfortunately, he played in the NFL against professional football athletes.

Only one team did: a desperate 1-4 Denver, the year after McDaniels was fired.

See? Skip Bayless was right. All it took was a desperate team to put Tebow as their starting quarterback, the right schedule against teams with a losing record and Tebow showed that he indeed could lead his team to a .500 record in a weak division as long as circumstances occurred during these games that could probably never be replicated by Tebow again which would lead to the same result. So...Skip was right.

All Tebow did that season was have the NFL's best QBR in the final five minutes of games. Onward, Christian soldier.

Now remember, this column is about Johnny Manziel and how Skip Bayless DOES NOT think Manziel is the "new Tebow." So far, all Skip has talked about is Tim Tebow. There's a shock.

Yet, after the Broncos landed Peyton Manning and traded Tebow to the Jets, he never had a chance to play quarterback.

After the Broncos landed Peyton Manning the Broncos also went to the Super Bowl. So..............well, this is awkward.

He lost confidence, visited his third or fourth independent passing coach, began to think too much about what had come so instinctively and regressed as a passer in his one preseason with New England.

Or NFL teams figured out how to defend Tebow and understood he can't throw the football well and even a quarterback-hungry team like the Jets couldn't find a way to get Tebow on the field. But however you want to shade it, Skip. It sounds like you are in denial about Tebow's ability, much like you are in denial this column isn't about the "new Tebow."

This is how much better Manziel is: The Houston Texans, with this year's No. 1 overall pick, will forever regret it if they don't take the Texas kid with the movie-title nickname, Johnny Football.

Here's the cliffsnotes version of Skip Bayless and his terribleness. He writes, "This is how much better Manziel is:" followed by Bayless giving his opinion on how much better Manziel is. When a normal, non-troll writer would state a fact, Skip Bayless smacks facts in face, kicks them out of the house and then backs up his opinion that Manziel is better than Tebow with an opinion that Manziel is better than Tebow. Skip's opinion that Manziel is better than Tebow is proof that his opinion Manziel is better than Tebow is correct. ARGUE AGAINST THAT LOGIC! YOU CAN'T!

Manziel built his legend at Texas A&M, just an hour-and-a-half drive from Reliant Stadium. 

Thanks, Skip. I no longer have a need for Mapquest or a GPS now that you have provided me with this information.

Manziel, with his infectious It Factor, would immediately turn the Texans into the It Team. They've been just a quarterback away for three seasons; Matt Schaub completed lots of passes, but never THE pass.

I feel like Skip Bayless paused while writing that last sentence and smiled to himself, marveling at his own creativity.

If I ran the Texans, and Bill O'Brien, who has never been head coach for a down of NFL football, dug in and concluded Manziel was too short and too Hollywood and too headstrong for him, I'd thank my new coach and fire him.

If Skip ran the Texans then Bill O'Brien would not be the head coach. Skip Bayless would be the head coach and the Texans would have the #1 pick every single season.

While ESPN's Todd McShay calls freakishly gifted pass-rusher Jadeveon Clowney a "once in 20 years player," Manziel is once in a lifetime.

Now see, this is the type of comment that isn't serious and is simply being written to troll all of ESPN's readers. I won't overreact to it. Manziel is not a once in a lifetime player. That would mean he's better than any other quarterback in our lifetime, which he is not now nor will he ever be the best quarterback of our lifetime. Skip trolls as hard as possible though.

Kiper won't even rank Manziel on his QB list because he's not sure what to make of him.

Well, that and Kiper is terrified of being wrong so he refuses to take a stand one way or another. It's the same reason he gives most teams a draft grade between a "B" and a "C."

Jon Gruden is all-in. Gruden, ESPN's "Monday Night Football" analyst, has the advantage of studying all the top draftees for his Quarterback Camp. Gruden breaks down their college tape, grills them face-to-face on camera, tests them at the chalkboard, gets to know them during off-camera lunches, then puts them through the equivalent of a pro day on the field. He had Manziel for two days.

Jon Gruden loves everybody and everything. If Saddam Hussein could have thrown a forward pass and sat down with Gruden for two days then Gruden would be marveling at Hussein's "pure dedication to his job" and say, "This guy really gets people behind him and isn't afraid to do some dirty work to win games."

On "First Take" the other day, Gruden told me: "I think he can create offense unlike most guys I've ever seen. And he has guts, quickness, vision, and he loves the big arena, the big stage. Guys like him don't come across the map very often.

Gruden says positive things about every quarterback. Here's what he said about Blaine Gabbert:

"I do think Blaine Gabbert is a Top 10 pick.  All you have to do is see the ball come out of his hand.  He's got a very quick, strong arm, prototype size.  He's over 6'4", 235 pounds, a finance major, so you know he has intelligence.  He has speed.  I mean, Gabbert ran very well at the combine.  He's elusive back there.  His scrambling and play making ability I think will be very enticing.  Once again, here's a junior quarterback that comes from a very unique, different style of spread offense at Missouri where he's been in the no‑back set, and the shotgun predominantly.  But I think his physical talents are very noticeable to everybody."

Jon Gruden on Jake Locker:

"This is one tough guy.  I mean, Jake Locker has played for two head coaches.  He had to endure an 0‑12 season.  This guy took a lot of punishment.  The whole offense was built around No. 10.  From a running standpoint, from a passing standpoint, this guy was involved significantly on every snap for the Huskies.  He does have to improve his accuracy.  But I think when you're hit a lot and asked to do as much as Locker's been asked to do, sometimes your fundamentals wane a little bit.  They disappear in key situations.  He does have a good, strong arm.  He's an outstanding athlete.  He's got very good elusiveness and straight line speed with some power, and I think he loves football.  I think there is a real passionate fire inside this guy that somebody's going to capture.  He would be a fun guy to coach.  I know that."

I think that is a big concern with Jake Locker, because he does miss some throws.  But if you pick up the Southern Cal film from this year, if you pick up the Oregon State film from this year, you can see what this guy's capable of doing.  He can be a one‑man wrecking machine.

Jon Gruden on Ryan Mallett:

The thing I really liked about Ryan Mallett was his background playing under Bobby Petrino at Arkansas.  And I know Coach Petrino well enough to know that he coaches quarterbacks hard, very demanding.  If you watch Mallett play, he's in a lot of pro style situations, underneath the center, in the shotgun, audibling, check‑with‑me's.  They do a lot of good things on offense at Arkansas.  Ryan Mallett can draw protections, blocking schemes, and he does have a beautiful throwing motion that I know a lot of guys in the league are excited about.  He can really hum it.

So yes, Jon Gruden likes every quarterback and rarely has an actual negative evaluation of a quarterback. The fact he likes Manziel means very little.

Saban had an entire offseason to find the Johnny Football antidote, ahead of a Sept. 14 game in College Station, Texas. Manziel went for 562 total yards and 42 points. Yet an A&M defense that wound up allowing the 109th-most yards among 123 Division I teams allowed Alabama 49 points.
Saban called Manziel as tough a competitor as he has faced in 40 years of coaching. Saban also faced Tebow twice (and also lost, then won).

But again, despite the constant comparisons to Tim Tebow, Skip Bayless does not think Johnny Manziel is the "new Tebow."

You sniff he's too short? At 5-11¾, he's a little more than an inch taller than Seattle's Russell Wilson, now a Super Bowl winner. And Manziel's hands and feet are freakishly big -- Gruden marveled at how Manziel could catch and quick-throw a special ball without laces.

Jon Gruden marvels at how the sun moves across the sky, how stoplights work, and the rate at which butter melts on bread. It's just his personality.

You roll your eyes that scrambling, gambling Johnny Football won't be able to dodge injury in the NFL? His shoulder was hurt against Auburn (which nearly won the national championship) only because Manziel knew (1) he had a chance to put his Aggies up 14 early in the fourth quarter and (2) his defense couldn't stop Auburn. So Manziel bolted hell-bent up the middle and took on two Tigers at the 2-yard line. A third fell on his shoulder.

Not that I'm arguing Manziel will be injured alot in the NFL, but the difference is that Johnny Football (please, let's drop that nickname ASAP) will be playing against NFL players and not college football players. There is a huge difference in the hitting power on the two levels of football.

Manziel convinced Gruden he will not take that kind of a risk in pro football. I've heard the same thing from him, that he will happily slide if cornered in the NFL. But he will torment defenses by occasionally running -- his plant-and-cut quickness in the open field will break some ankles and bruise some pro egos.

For someone who isn't the "new Tebow," Skip Bayless sure talks about Johnny Manziel much in the same way he once referred to Tim Tebow.

So how did a white kid from Tyler, Texas, manage to become such good buddies with LeBron James and Drake? Because they know unique talent. Cool attracts cool.

Which perfectly explains why pro athletes like Kevin Durant, Terrell Suggs and Richard Sherman don't like Skip Bayless and Bayless hangs out mostly with Stephen A. Smith and a cardboard cut-out of himself he calls "Steve Bayless."

That contagious star power will come with the Johnny Franchise package. Chip Kelly gets it. Kelly says it "broke my heart" when Manziel broke a verbal commitment to play for Kelly at Oregon.

Somehow Kelly managed to get his heart back together and recruit Marcus Mariota to be his quarterback during his last season at Oregon. His broken heart healed quickly.

Rumors have flown that Eagles coach Kelly has been trying to figure out a way to trade up for Manziel. Kelly would be the best coaching/scheme fit for him. Imagine the rabbits Kelly could pull out of his hat with Johnny Football running his show.

There would be so many rabbits that Philly fans would attend games and think, "What? What are these rabbits doing on the field when there is only one hat they could have come out of? Johnny Manziel must be a wizard!"

So how, I asked Gruden, can the Texans afford not to take Johnny Manziel?

"Well, this guy...this guy...well, they just can't Skip."

"I don't know," Gruden said. "Unless they want to play Case Keenum or Ryan Fitzpatrick."

Jon Gruden on Case Keenum prior to the draft: 

Guys that are interesting to me, I think Case Keenum’s name needs to come out somewhere.  He’s the all‑time leading passer in NCAA history, reminds me of a young Jeff Garcia, finds a way to get it done.  He’s a lot more athletic than people think.  No‑huddle, throw it every snap, makes a lot of game‑day decisions, has helped put the Houston Cougars at the forefront of college football.  They beat Penn State in the Bowl game.  Who would have thought that?  The stadium is packed.  He’s done a lot of great things.  I think he’s going to be an interesting guy.

So in a couple of seasons it seems Case Keenum has gone from "a young Jeff Garcia" to not worthy of being a starter in the NFL. Funny how that works with Jon Gruden isn't it? He's loves these quarterbacks coming out of college, because he's afraid to say anything negative, but he'll be a little critical once they reach the pros. You would think a real QB guru could be critical of the QB coming out of college after seeing film of that quarterback and evaluating that film, but I guess not.

Anyway, so this article is about how Johnny Manziel is not the "new Tebow," where Skip Bayless compared Manziel to Tebow. Well, actually this article was written by Skip Bayless and it's mostly about Skip Bayless and his hot sports takes designed to attract attention.

2 comments:

rich said...

I love how Skip conveniently forgets two things:

1) The last time the Texans had the #1 pick with a Texas bred QB at the top of the QB list... they passed on him. Good ole Vince then went to Tennessee and became an absolute headcase.

So yes, when the scouting report on a guy is "lots of skill, mental midget" teams are absolutely going to run away. Like it or not, Ryan Leaf fucked it all up.

I also don't know how anyone can call Manziel a "once in a lifetime" player. He's basically a shorter, whiter version of RGIII who happens to be an arrogant asshole.

Drake? Because they know unique talent. Cool attracts cool.

Douche attracts douche. YOLO.

Rumors have flown that Eagles coach Kelly has been trying to figure out a way to trade up for Manziel.

::looks at Nick Foles stats::
::looks at glaring holes on Eagles roster::
::laughs::

Ya, "rumors." Seriously, if the Eagles were going to trade up for an A&M guy, it would have been for Matthews or Evans.

Eric Long said...

So much fodder here. First, Skip claims he was right about Tebow. I've also always thought that throwing for 4 yards through three quarters, getting lucky that my defense was ridiculously good that year, then finding a way to make a play late in the game (by blind luck as much as anything) was the mark of greatness. Forget the fact that a quarterback on the level of Cade McNown would have led his team to a blowout.

Speaking of Cade McNown... When I see Johnny Manziel, I see a right handed Cade McNown. He is short, not a really big arm, and a d-bag. I will be very interested to see if Johnny Foosball's career follows a similar trajectory as good old Cade McNown.