Sunday, May 18, 2014

0 comments Tom Keegan Either Lacks Funny or Just Enjoys Writing in Bad Taste

You may or may not remember Tom Keegan as the person who said Marcus Smart needed professional help after pushing a Texas Tech fan during the college basketball season. Well, he's back and now he's mocking the language used in Naadir Tharpe's press release stating he will be transferring from the Kansas basketball team for personal reasons. It turns out those reasons are to be closer to his daughter, who has medical issues. In a world where Adrian Peterson can be criticized for having children out of wedlock a mere couple of days after said child out of wedlock was killed, one would think that Naadir Tharpe transferring from a high-profile college basketball team to be with his daughter would be something that merits praise and a brief hand-clap. "Oh fuck no," says Tom Keegan. See the language used in the press released announcing Tharper's transfer was absolutely hilarious to Tom, so he just had to mock it. I can't decide if he's just not funny or he lacks good taste. It's probably a little of both.

Either way, in a situation that at best merits no mention from Tom Keegan regarding the language of the press release announcing Tharpe's departure turns into Keegan mocking a college athlete for daring to transfer and be closer to his daughter, because see, Tharpe used funny language! So an amateur athlete gets mocked for doing the right thing. But of course.

Interviewing him for three years, I never once heard Naadir Tharpe say, “At this juncture.”

No wonder Naadir Tharpe couldn't get consistent playing time prior to this season if Tom Keegan had been interviewing him for three years. That had to take up a lot of Tharpe's time.

See, that's a Tom Keegan-like joke except if he had written it then he would have said Naadir Tharpe couldn't get playing time because he's a lazy person who needs professional help for why he sucks so bad at basketball.

But there it was in the press release announcing his transfer, so he absolutely, 100 percent must have said it. 

If Tom Keegan can't understand that people write a formal press release differently from how they speak, then he's even dumber than I thought he was. Almost no one talks like they write, especially when they are writing an official press release announcing their intention to transfer from college. The big and formal words come out for occasions like a press release, while these big and formal words aren't necessary when answering questions about a basketball game.

Not only that, Tharpe used the phrase “Due to extenuating circumstances” for what I believe possibly could be the first time in his life.

Because Tom Keegan has heard Naadir Tharpe speak on a daily basis, so he definitely knows every phrase Tharpe has used over the entirety of his life. Keegan is like the Midwest version of Phil Mushnick, and yes, that is the very opposite of a compliment.

Clearly, he devoted a great deal of time in crafting his quote. He must have told himself: “I shan’t treat this matter with anything but utmost gravity.”

Just hilarious. It's really funny to mock the language of a press release announcing that a college athlete is transferring schools to be closer to his daughter. What a laugh-riot!

This black college player is using big words! Let's mock him for it!

An excerpt from the release included this Tharpe quote: “Due to extenuating circumstances within my personal life, I will no longer be attending the University of Kansas.”


Then he explained that his daughter has medical issues that require weekly visits to her physician as well as with a specialist.

But did you ever hear Tharpe use the word "physician" when interviewing him after a game? If not, I doubt he even knows what this word means.

“At this juncture, I feel it is best to be closer to home where I can assist and support in any way necessary,” he continued.

Talk like you do after games! Don't use this "press release" verbiage. It only serves to anger Tom Keegan and make him mock you for how you write.

It’s the right thing for a father to do, so I’m glad he’s doing it. I’m also happy that he’ll have two years to complete requirements for a degree. At least I would hope the NCAA does not consider him a hardship case and let him play right away.

So after taking cheapshots at the way Naadir Tharpe writes a press release (or how the University of Kansas athletic department writes a press release, but does it really matter who wrote it?), Tom Keegan is going to try to come off nice and friendly regarding Tharpe's transfer...well at least until he decides to start mocking the language of the press release again like the bully he clearly wants to be.

I’ve always liked Tharpe. Friendly, candid, good sense of humor.

But not a good speaker who likes to use big words. That's the important takeaway here. Tharpe didn't use big words and that's why Tom Keegan enjoys mocking him. You know what? Let's get back to making fun of the language used in the press release and indicating that Tharpe isn't smart enough to have written it himself...

Pity I didn’t get to know the fine lad well enough to converse with him to the point he felt comfortable speaking the King’s English.

Again, the press release is an official document where more formal-sounding words will be used, while Tharpe isn't going to start using big words when talking about a basketball game. I don't understand why Keegan is incapable of understanding this.

I read the release and pictured him sipping tea with legs crossed, scarf around his neck, patches on the elbows of his tweed jacket, lamenting, “Oh dear, wherever did I leave the crumpets?”

Tharpe used the phrases "at this juncture" and "due to extenuating circumstances," which aren't exactly phrases only used in high society. It's simply in poor taste to criticize the language of a press release where Tharpe is transferring due to wanting to be closer to his daughter.

I’m happy he’ll be playing somewhere in New England because it’s best for his daughter, his daughter’s mother, for Tharpe and I suspect for the Kansas basketball team.

Maybe that's why Tharpe is using the King's English, because he's from New England. It's like England where they eat crumpets, wear tweed jackets, and sip tea, except it's a lot newer...hence the name "New England."

As long as Tharpe was in the program, coach Bill Self forever was going to be tempted to play him, thus stunting the growth of players with higher ceilings, such as likely recruit Devonte Graham and rising sophomores Conner Frankamp and Frank Mason.

Oh, well I guess it's a good thing Tharpe is transferring because he didn't have a high ceiling. Good riddance you asshole, who doesn't speak as well as he writes! Tom Keegan won't miss you at all.

Tharpe did improve in every statistical category from his sophomore to junior year (except FT percentage), so the idea he doesn't have a high ceiling could probably be debated a little bit.

Do join me in sending a word Naadir’s way: Cheerio!

It sounds like Tom Keegan is the one who needs professional help if he thinks mocking a player who announces he is transferring to be closer to his daughter is an entertaining or funny thing to do. This was a stupid article that was in bad taste. Criticizing the language in a press release? Come on, don't be an ass.