Tuesday, February 25, 2014

8 comments MMQB Review: Peter Talks about Johnny Manziel and Shamelessly Titles MMQB as "Here's (The Real) Johnny"

Peter King told us about the Michael Sam Seminar in last week's MMQB, as well as supported a code of conduct for NFL locker rooms. A really good point was made in the comments in reference to Peter's insistence that Derek Jeter had "no hint of scandal" surrounding him during his playing career. Jeter played with Gary Sheffield, Jason Giambi, Roger Clemens, Andy Pettitte, and A-Rod while he was with the Yankees. That's an All-Star lineup of suspected or proven PED users. So Jeter has a hint of scandal around him.This week Peter talks about Johnny Manziel's makeover (and Peter says he looks super-precocious), his rendezvous with Manziel at the Holiday Inn (not a rendezvous in THAT way...okay, Peter was hoping for a just a little jean grinding), how the 49ers in no way were trying to trade Jim Harbaugh to the Browns and Jim Harbaugh was in no way trying to get the Browns to hire him (you know, just like Harbaugh had no interest in Peyton Manning two years ago), and how God is making one draft prospect slide down draft boards while slavery still makes Peter cry. 

The offseason. That’s a good one.

Browns chase Jim Harbaugh. Lose.
Michael Sam meets the press. Wins. Then he lifts weights. Loses.


Johnny Manziel undergoes radical image-ectomy. Early returns: good.
Ray Rice undergoes radical image-destruction. Early returns: awful.
Players might get flagged in games for using the n-word. Tremendous.

I am not in a position to give an opinion on the use of the n-word on the football field. Obviously, I would prefer it be eliminated in all facets of life and sport, but when two players are trash talking and one player says something like, "No way, how figure?" or talks rapidly to where the official didn't understand what the player says and throws a flag as a result it seems silly to me. Is the NFL really going to start dealing with players and coaches appealing that they didn't use a certain word on the field? I don't know, I want the word to be eliminated but it seems like flagging players for use of the word seems more like a PR move than an actual solution to the use of the word.

The NFL scouting combine’s halfway over. Overrated (as always).

Sure, the Combine is overrated but two of Peter's big five stories from the week dealt directly with results from the Combine. It's overrated, unless it provides Peter with more information to write a story. Also, most of the information in this MMQB is information Peter learned at the Combine or deals in some way with the Combine. But yeah, it's overrated in Peter's opinion. 

Mike Florio reported Friday that the Browns “nearly pulled off a trade” for boffo 49ers coach Jim Harbaugh. That set the combine on its ear, and set off a flurry of denials and non-denial denials. Cleveland officials wouldn’t deny the story, lending it added credence, and then, on Sunday, owner Jimmy Haslam told USA Today, “There was an opportunity there, and it didn’t materialize.” Harbaugh denied the story, and the Niners organization mostly kept quiet except for a tweet from CEO Jed York Friday night denying the story.

I completely believe the Browns. That's not a sentence that I routinely write, but the Browns were desperate for a quality head coach to turn the team around and Jim Harbaugh is reportedly not happy in San Francisco. I have a hard time believing much of what Harbaugh and the 49ers say (not that I think they are liars, but they have shown they will only reveal information they want revealed and will deny information they don't want revealed) since they claimed they weren't interested in Peyton Manning two years ago, but somehow they were one of the finalists for his services.

That was until Sunday night, when York told me he would not rehash the entire story but did say: “The Browns reached out to me, and we had no interest in pursuing it.”

It sounds like the Browns overstated the situation, but it remains the 49ers got an offer and didn't like the compensation or didn't want to get rid of Harbaugh quite yet. It seems like that's what happened.

But as I first heard Friday night, I don’t believe terms were discussed back and forth between the Browns and Niners. I believe that, as York said, the 49ers decided not to engage the Browns on any substantive negotiations for Harbaugh.

Substantive negotiations or not, if terms were discussed back and forth then there was interest on both sides, which makes this an interesting story and 49ers outright denial not entirely accurate.

But first, my encounter at the combine with Jonathan Paul Manziel.

Peter's encounter at a Holiday Inn with Johnny Manziel. So many Favre-like qualities, yet so much younger and so much more dangerous. It's an alluring proposition, but would meeting a hotel seem too upfront to Manziel? Perhaps Peter should suggest they meet somewhere else safer, less obvious for their rendezvous. At a restaurant. Yes, that will work. But eating food, would that be rude in Johnny's opinion? Peter had no time to answer this question for himself because his impulse led him to just outside the door to interview Manziel. There he was, his gun-slinging self just waiting for Peter to approach him with a curious yet mischievous on his face. It's not Favre 2.0, but it's close enough for Peter.

Then to coach Gus Bradley. “Hi Coach Bradley, pleasure to meet you. Johnny Manziel.”
Then to GM David Caldwell, and then to offensive coordinator Jedd Fisch. All the same: handshake, look ’em in the eye, refer to them by name. He knew them all. Now, he didn’t know the scouts in the room, but he knew five men by sight that he’d never met. “That was impressive,” Caldwell said. “He did a really nice job in there. He was prepared for the interview, very prepared.”

You mean Manziel didn't bring Drake into the interview with him and somehow avoided showing up to the interview drunk? What a shock. I can't believe Manziel is desperately trying to clean up his image so he can be drafted higher and be paid more money. No other applicant at a job interview has done this before.

O’Connell and Manziel even studied Washington’s offense from last year, not because they think there’s any chance the team will draft him, but because Kyle Shanahan, last year’s Washington offensive coordinator, now works in Cleveland, and they wanted to get a feel of what he likes to call and how he likes to use protections. Hammer home schemes, specific plays and formations each team is partial to using.

And Manziel didn't show up drink with a skank on each arm everyday to these film sessions? He's surely grown up and is a different person now.

Some teams won’t like that; Houston’s buttoned-up owner, Bob McNair, certainly will frown at the prospect of having a playboy quarterback, if that’s what the owners of the top pick judge Manziel to be.

Of course Bob McNair also frowns at losing games, so at some point he may have to reconcile these two positions a little better. The fact Manziel partied in college doesn't mean he will do the same in the NFL and the fact Manziel was a good boy in his interviews and didn't seem like a party boy doesn't mean he wouldn't let partying distract him while he's in the NFL.

An executive of one team who met with Manziel over the weekend said, “Has there been one killer incident for him? If there is, we haven’t found it.”

“We’ve found nothing that’s come across as a fatal flaw to us,” Caldwell said.

BREAKING NEWS: College students like to party. If this college student is an athlete whose parents have money then he will want to party and spend money while partying, most likely while also having as many women at his side as possible.

“Our goal is to give every team that’s interested the maximum amount of time with Johnny they want,” Burkhardt said. “The more time, the merrier. Because when they spend time with him, they’ll get to know the real Johnny.”

It's funny how NFL writers can help shift the narrative around when they want to. Johnny Manziel is a party-boy quarterback who isn't mature enough to lead an NFL team until he shows up at the Combine being super-polite and stating that he will show everyone who the true Johnny Manziel is. Oh, he must have completely changed who he is in the last four months. Re-write the narrative immediately!

Even though the 5-10½ Russell Wilson just won the Super Bowl, below-average size at the position—Manziel  measured 5-11¾ at the combine—is a detriment to greatness in the NFL. Small quarterbacks often have to be out-of-the-pocket improvisers;

Conveniently, Johnny Manziel is excellent at improvising outside the pocket. So, I'm not sure the concern here.

last year Manziel had poor games in losses against LSU and Missouri when hemmed in the pocket, frustrated he couldn’t get out on the edge and make something happen. “One of our goals,” Whitfield said at the combine, “has been to show that a player who’s been driving an automatic can now drive a stick-shift, and he can make the kind of plays from the pocket you’re going to need to make in the NFL.”

Now these are real concerns NFL personnel guys should have about Johnny Manziel, not whether he is too much of a party-boy. They should be concerned he can throw the football from the pocket and not worry about whether he'll try to bang a Hooter waitress in every town he plays in. Sure, Manziel not being focused is a concern, but his overall ability to play quarterback should be a much bigger concern.

But he’s also unique in this regard: How many prospects get less famous going from college to the NFL? Manziel might be the one.

Well, this has absolutely zero relevance in terms of whether Manziel will be a productive NFL quarterback or not. But hey, the Combine is overrated, while this type of information on how many players have been less famous going from college to the NFL is very, very important. Also, I would argue that Myron Rolle got less famous once he made it to the NFL and I'm sure he's not the only one.

I met Manziel in the back of the restaurant at the Holiday Inn

A very alluring start to this story. I have a feeling Peter has met Brett Favre in the back of quite a few Holiday Inn's.

It’s late at night, but he’s still on.

As is Peter. He's very "on" if you know what I mean. He's ready, it's late and there is a precocious quarterback in front him with an Allagash White he they can sip on together. Life is good.

he’ll be damned if he’s going to have a repeat of last week, when he told the Houston Chronicle that if the Texans passed on him with the No. 1 pick, “It would be the worst decision they’ve ever made.” (Even though—funny—it’s become part of Peyton Manning folklore that Manning did precisely the same thing with the Colts in 1998 when they were choosing between him and Ryan Leaf to be the top pick in the draft. Manning said to GM Bill Polian’s face, “If you pass on me, I will come back and kick your a– for years.” So let’s go easy with the idea of Manziel’s brashness ruining his chances in Houston

I don't think anyone but the media is trying to perpetuate the story that Manziel's brashness will ruin his chances in Houston. It's the media who reports on the story, and in fact, it is Peter King who earlier in this very MMQB indicated Bob McNair wouldn't like a playboy quarterback. Meaning, he wouldn't want Johnny Manziel if "new" Manziel has the same behavior as "old" Manziel, and "old" Manziel was brash. 

Now, about the Manning Passing Academy incident last summer, when he was sent home for not showing up on time one morning …

“I got back from the function that we had the prior night, went to my room, and plugged my phone in to wake up at 8 o’clock the next day,” Manziel says. “When I woke up the next day I realized it was a little lighter outside than it had been the morning before. I shuffled around and looked for my phone in the bed and pressed the top button, pressed the home button. No juice. And I really woke up freaking out. I got to camp about 30 minutes late. I met with the head people, met with the counselors, and they asked me to go home...For some reason, there was kind of a rift in communication with people saying I wasn’t in my room. And I absolutely was. I woke up in my bed in my dorm room like I had the two mornings previous.”

It's the old, "I was there in my room, it's just no one saw me" excuse combined with the "My phone died" excuse.

“And the rumors that you’d been in New Orleans that night?” I ask.

“Absolutely not,” Manziel says.

"Do you want to go to New Orleans, tonight? Right now. You and me. Let's take off now and just leave our troubles behind."

This is what Manziel was asked, to be sure, in his meetings here. Some of them, at least. And he was prepared to answer the questions about his partying. “I’ve tried to be completely honest with the teams,” he said. “I was in college.

Oh, it's supposed to be the Spring semester of Manziel's junior year. I guess he's decided to not attend the Spring semester of his junior year at all.

There were points throughout the last year maybe I was a little bit out of that saying. I did things too much and maybe overly aggressive. At the same time, things progressed fast for me. A lot of things were thrown on my plate and pushed into my life, and I really ran with those.

It's a good thing that things won't progress fast in the NFL and there won't be a lot of things on Manziel's plate or else I would 100% believe he magically became a more mature person over the last three or four months.

I am the only person I know of that had a schedule directly tied with our director of football operations to do whatever it was the school was asking of me. And really I’m incredibly loyal to Texas A&M. It was the school that gave me an opportunity when not a lot of other places did. But I feel like with the media attention I had, the scrutiny, and everything that I went through last year, it directly prepares me for this.”

Manziel's PR guy fist pumps out of excitement that Manziel nailed this line.

“I’m going to go be extremely honest with these teams, let them see a side of me that some people don’t get to see,” Manziel says. 

Peter says, "So this does mean you will take your shirt off right now and let me touch your chest? Just tell me now before this goes any further." 

That’s what you have to do. Convert on third down, and not turn the ball over. That’s something that Russell is incredibly good at. And he’s extremely accurate. Russell Wilson is a Super Bowl-winning quarterback. I’m not going to sit myself in this seat today and compare me to him. I have a lot to do to earn my stripes and earn my position in this league. I realize nothing is going to be handed to me. I have to go work for it.

Manziel's PR guy continues pumping his fist at Manziel's performance here. After all, if a player/coach/GM wants to sell a story without getting too many tough questions in response then go to Peter King.

Not to mention, for a guy who thinks the Combine is overrated Peter certainly bases a lot of this MMQB on information he learned at the Combine.

And now the rest of the NFL story this week.

I’m not convinced Cleveland got very far down the road. Did Jed York get an offer of a draft pick or picks from Cleveland for coach Jim Harbaugh, mull it over, talk to his inner circle and decide not to accept it? Did he ask Harbaugh if this was something he really wanted? Or did York simply decide, “We’re not trading our coach?” We might never know, though my guess is the only way York would have agreed to consider a deal is if Harbaugh told him flatly he wanted to take the Cleveland job.

Maybe Peter should do a poll of anonymous GM's to find out what they think about this situation. They'll be anonymous which means they will completely tell the truth.

Harbaugh clearly hasn’t gotten the money he thinks he deserves for leading the Niners to three straight playoff appearances, including a Super Bowl—for making the Niners a star franchise again. He’s entering year four of a five-year deal, which pays him $5 million a year.

From seeing Harbaugh's antics on the sidelines I can't imagine he would be a difficult person to get along with. He seems so calm, collected and without a strong opinion.

The Niners are unlikely to break the bank for a coach who hasn’t won a Super Bowl,

The guy has made the NFC Championship Game in all three seasons he has coached in the NFL. He keeps this up, he's winning a Super Bowl. So I find the whole "We won't pay him big money until he wins a Super Bowl" bullshit to be just that, bullshit. He's clearly shown himself to be a top-tier NFL coach. The fact he hasn't won a Super Bowl and "only" made three NFC Championship Games shows this is true.
The one thing the Pro Football Talk report leaves in its wake is the impression this story, and Harbaugh’s wanderlust, is not over.

Sounds to me like Harbaugh wants complete control of the roster, including personnel decisions. Maybe he will get lucky and the Browns will fire Pettine after this season or Daniel Snyder will decide he wants a bigger "name" coach for the Redskins.

Ravens GM Ozzie Newsome said something telling about the alleged altercation between running back Ray Rice and his fiancĂ©e, Janay Palmer, at an Atlantic City casino last weekend. “Right now, I feel very good about his side of the story.” If so, then Rice must have given team officials a version that involves either self-defense or overt provocation by Palmer.

Because it's okay to smack a bitch if she smacks you first or is just really wanting you to lay a hand on her.

Not that either one of those explanations would justify domestic abuse, if there was abuse.

But Peter, you just said Rice must have given the team a version that involves self-defense or overt provocation by Palmer. This means you thought this would satisfy the Ravens, and therefore would be an acceptable excuse to explain what happened, right?

Rice already had one 2014 challenge on his hands—making sure his 660-yard season was a fluke. This problem will dwarf that one.

It's okay to smack your girlfriend, but at least be good at football, because otherwise that's not acceptable.

Also, is that "dwarf" mention a reference to Rice's height? Very insensitive.

The league’s Competition Committee meets in Florida beginning Friday, and one of the items on the agenda will be discussion on a rule to flag players for using the n-word on the field during games. I’m unequivocally in favor of it, and can see no reason why it wouldn’t be enacted 

As nice as it would be to hear that word eliminated, I just don't know about throwing penalty flags because a football players uses the n-word. It seems very hard to enforce when the officials may throw a flag for a comment they didn't completely hear.

Interesting to hear Mike Mayock lobby—correctly, by the way—for the Bengals to draft a quarterback in the later rounds to give Andy Dalton some competition. “If your quarterback can’t play at a certain level,” Mayock said on Sunday’s NFL Network telecast, “you can’t win a Super Bowl.” The Bengals need to run it more. That’ll help Dalton as much as a fourth-round passer

Peter hates Andy Dalton for some reason. I can't figure out why, but he's completely not sold on Dalton as the starting quarterback for the Bengals. I'm not saying the Bengals shouldn't invest in a backup quarterback, but both Mayock and Peter are idiots if they think a fourth round pick will come in and take the Bengals to a Super Bowl this year.

Greg Schiano is here, meeting with some of his friends in the coaching business, trying to figure out his next move

I can't wait for a team to hire Greg Schiano followed by Peter telling us what a brilliant move this was for that team. Notice that Peter has completely not mentioned Gregg Williams was rehired by the Rams as their defensive coordinator. One would think this merits a mention in MMQB, but I'm guessing Marvin Demoff has ordered Peter to not mention it, lest it puts Jeff Fisher or the Rams in a bad light. It's just funny to me that Peter hasn't mentioned Williams' hire at all and of course makes me think there has to be a reason he hasn't mentioned this, when it deserves a mention.

One other story that Peter hasn't mentioned...he hasn't talked about the ESPN column on Tony Gonzalez where he shows himself to not quite be the teammate and person he was talked up as being through his NFL career. Not a shock, I guess. Peter likes himself some Tony Gonzalez and the only way he could write about the column is if he were a little critical of Tony Gonzalez and Peter refuses to alienate any of his friends (who also happen to be players he covered) if he doesn't have to.

Three players I found universal love for at the combine: Clemson wideout Sammy Watkins, Auburn tackle Greg Robinson and Buffalo linebacker Khalil Mack. Watching Watkins run and catch, I’ll be surprised if he’s not a 1,000-yard player as a rookie, even if he goes to a team with an iffy quarterback situation. 

Oh, so he could play for the Bengals then?

“The report? Reeee-diculous! Ridiculous. No. Ridiculous.”

San Francisco coach Jim Harbaugh to Matt Maiocco of CSN Bay Area at the Combine. 

Of course Jim Harbaugh denied he has interest in Peyton Manning two years ago, said he liked Alex Smith as his quarterback and then replaced Smith at the earliest opportunity with Colin Kaepernick. Plus, Harbaugh wouldn't admit he wants out of San Francisco or that he had his agent investigate other NFL job openings. Why would Harbaugh not deny the report even if it were true?

Here’s the Factoid:

The Buffalo Bills are doing something very nice, and smart, for their scouts and officials who work the draft: They’re giving them Easter week (the week before April 20) off. “We want our guys to be fresh,” GM Doug Whaley told me. “There’s only so long you can study guys.”

This reminds me of what I said in college a lot, which was, "I can study this material only so long until I've overstudied," which was a nice way of saying, "I'm tired of studying, I'm going to the bar."

Mr. Starwood Preferred Member Travel Note of the Week

Checking in at the downtown Marriott the other day for the combine, and a woman next to me was doing the same with another front-desk person. She asked the woman checking her in: “What is the scouting combine?” The Marriott attendant said it was the NFL bringing college players in for workouts and interviews with teams, and it comes to Indianapolis every February.

“I don’t get the name,” the Marriott guest said. “The combine … it’s a combination of something?”

What's the point of this travel note? This guest doesn't know what the Combine is. Does Peter find that funny? Does he find it refreshing? Is Peter just determined to kill space in MMQB and had to find a travel note? Basically, there has to be a reason Peter took the time to share this with his audience. What's the reason? It seems pretty pointless.

“Carlos Hype.”

@TonyGrossi of ESPNCleveland, after vaunted Ohio State running back Carlos Hyde ran a 4.66-second 40-yard dash and limped off Sunday, saying he strained a hamstring.

“Michael Sam benched 225 pounds 17 times, second-worst among defensive lineman. Seven WRs did more.”

@MichaelDavSmith, Michael David Smith of Pro Football Talk, after Sam lifted at the combine on Sunday.

But Peter, remember how overrated you said the Combine is? How can these "Tweets of the Week" be in any way important if they pertain to the Combine? After all, if the Combine is so overrated then Carlos Hyde isn't hype and it doesn't matter if Michael Sam only bench pressed 225 pounds 17 times. It's all overrated. So who cares if Carlos Hyde is hype and what Michael Sam bench presses?

Ten Things I Think I Think

1. I think the difference between this year and many recent ones is that we know which players to place at the top of the draft, but we have no idea whom to match where.

Peter thinks he has the Top 10 players who go off the board in the draft figured out with a little over two months until the actual draft. I'll remember this when Peter acts shocked the first round didn't go the way he anticipated and talks about how unpredictable the draft was. I mean come on, trades can happen and some players will rise up the board after individual workouts at their college. It's ridiculous to claim in late February which players will be taken at the top of the draft.

I’ll take this shot at the top 10, though the Rams certainly will have a chance to trade the second pick,


and will be very interested in doing so:

(Peter's phone rings) "Hold on Johnny, it's my master---I mean, it's my agent. Hello, this is Peter King, king of the draft rumors and always ready for a clever joke or two."

(Marvin Demoff) "I don't even know what the fuck that was. God, you're clueless."

(Peter King) "It's the way I answer the phone to be fun and precoci---"

(Marvin Demoff) "I didn't ask you to tell me why you do it. Stop it. Just do it. I noticed you haven't mentioned the Rams hired Gregg Williams as their defensive coordinator. Sure, any time a defensive coordinator who was suspended for a year like Williams was gets rehired it's news, but I like how you ignored it. Great job. Kevin really wants that hire to go under the radar until Gregg starts doing a good job and that's when I will give you permission to write a 'Gregg Williams' Redemption' story. Obviously you wouldn't write this story, but have one of your THE MMQB writers do it. Not until I tell you to though." 

(Peter King) "Well, I---"

(Marvin Demoff) "I didn't ask you to talk. Be sure to mention in this week's MMQB that the Rams really want to trade the #2 overall pick. So far Kevin hasn't had much interest shown in that pick, so I want you to really, really focus on telling everyone that pick is available. We need more traffic on that pick so we can get the Rams the best return possible. Just do it."

(Peter King) "Well, my astute readers could see through this and then it would affect my credibility if they know my agent's son is the Rams GM and I am not-so-covertly providing them with positive coverage. I'll do anything, and for future reference I do mean anything, but I'm afraid my readers will find this out and it would hurt my credibility."

(Marvin Demoff) "I am your credibility. Shut up and do it. Make it known the pick is available...are you blowing kisses or something? What's that sound?"

(Peter stops blowing kisses at Johnny Manziel as Manziel is looking at his phone) "Oh no, not at all. What you think about---Marvin? You there?"

(Marvin Demoff has hung up)

Houston: Blake Bortles, QB, Central Florida.
St. Louis: Greg Robinson, T, Auburn.
Jacksonville: Jadeveon Clowney, DE, South Carolina.
Cleveland: Teddy Bridgewater, QB, Louisville.
Oakland: Johnny Manziel, QB, Texas A&M.
Atlanta: Jake Matthews, T, Texas A&M.
Tampa Bay: Khalil Mack, OLB, Buffalo.
Minnesota: Anthony Barr, OLB, UCLA.
Buffalo: Sammy Watkins, WR, Clemson.
Detroit: Taylor Lewan, T, Michigan.

Well, there's the Top 10 players and this will not be changing. You can bet on that.

2. I think if you add these six players—cornerback Darqueze Dennard of Michigan State, tight end Eric Ebron of North Carolina, linebacker C.J. Mosley of Alabama, safety Ha Ha Clinton-Dix of Alabama, and wideouts Mike Evans of Texas A&M and Marqise Lee of USC—you’d have something very close to the first half of the first round May 8.

Because we all know there's no way a guy like Derek Carr impresses at his individual workout and then works his way into the Top 15 where a QB-needy team has traded up to get him. No way at all. This doesn't ever happen. I also don't believe Peter will state in May when the NFL Draft doesn't go this way that it was TOTALLY unexpected. Peter has seemed to jump the gun on a lot of things so far this year, like when he decided because the Colts had lost a game in terrible fashion that they may not win the AFC South.

4. I think this is not the way to get drafted by your dream team, the Seattle Seahawks: U-T San Diego reported Sunday that San Diego State running back Adam Muema bailed from the combine without working out, telling the website that if he didn’t work out, he would get his wish and play for the Seahawks. Muema had been projected as a late-round pick in May. He said God told him to “sit down, be quiet, and enjoy the peace.” I’m sure combine officials and the NFL are pleased to have had Muema take a running back slot at the prestigious tryout camp and to have paid his way from San Diego to Indianapolis for the combine, and then have Muema inform them God didn’t want him to work out.

Good job God, now you've gone and ruined this player's career by giving him bad draft advice. What good are you, God? You are like a bad agent who misleads and lies to a player about his draft position and then doesn't help that player out when your lies are found to be just that. Drew Rosenhaus wouldn't go this low as to promise that a player would be drafted by a certain team. I hope you are happy with yourself.

Just a hunch: This won’t raise his grade on the Seattle draft board. Or anyone’s. If he’ll be on one at all.

You just ruined this kid's dream with your bad advice.

Then Peter discusses other observations about the Combine that mean very little because the Combine is overrated.

10. I think these are my non-football thoughts of the week:

c. Saw 12 Years a Slave. Then I cried for 12 years.

Gosh, slavery is so sad. Peter wasn't aware that slaves actually were tortured and treated so inhumanely. He thought slavery was when a person had to work for a little bit above minimum wage and didn't get every weekend off. It turns out, and Peter wasn't aware of this, but slaves didn't get paid. Like AT ALL!

d. Tremendous movie. Riveting, painful, memorable. I haven’t seen all the Best Picture nominees, but it will take an epic film to beat that one in the Oscars for me.

How about a movie with Lake Bell, Cate Blanchett, Philip Seymour Hoffman and Meryl Streep? Wouldn't that be the best-acted movie in the history of cinema and definitely would be an epic film that could beat out "12 Years a Slave."

e. Really liked the Kerrigan/Harding show Sunday night on NBC. I’d forgotten how nutty the whole thing was.

Really? Peter, you forgot how nutty that whole situation was where Tonya Harding's husband hired some goons to bash Nancy Kerrigan's knee? This just slipped your mind?

g. Beernerdness: Two selections from a weekend of fine beer-drinking in the fine city of Indianapolis. One: Osiris Pale Ale, by Sun King Brewing of Indianapolis. A delicious and perfectly hoppy pale ale served in a tall can. That beer needs to get to New York, and fast. Two: Rail Splitter IPA, of Triton Brewing, also of Indy. (Great craft beer town by the way. I’d be hospitalized if I tried them all.) Not many IPAs give off a citrus scent, but this one does.

Yes, well not every IPA is supposed to give off a citrus scent. So that explains that.

f. Coffeenerdness: Patachou, the great breakfast spot and NFL personnel hangout in downtown Indy, could use one darker roast coffee, but the Simon Blend, with a medium bite, is so much better than coffee you get in restaurants almost anywhere.

h. One last Indy reference: I strongly recommend a pizza shop there, Napolese Pizzeria, downtown. The crust is a bit thicker than my wafer-thin crust preference, but the taste of the crust, and the fresh ingredients, make it a great meal. 

Apparently the Combine may be overrated, but Peter has a hell of a time attending the Combine while eating food and drinking delicious beer/coffee.

j. Pleasure to see you and spend time with you at the combine, Matthew Berry.

Hey, you know a text message is much more personal and less name-droppy way of telling Matthew Berry that you enjoyed spending time with him.

l. We keep three players in our league. Mine: Dustin Pedroia, Jay Bruce, Ian Desmond. Had Ellsbury, but didn’t protect him as one of my three keepers. Because, well, you know.

Because you are terrible at fantasy sports and no one cares about your fantasy team?

The Adieu Haiku

Indy in winter.
Autograph guys chase Manziel.
But they don’t catch him.

I'm astounded and amazed. Every week Peter manages to one-up the uselessness of the previous week's Adieu Haiku. 


Crazee said...

Your "Peter King fan fiction" about athletes cracks me up every time, I swear. I can't even see him anymore without thinking of him that way. LOL

Murray said...

Here is what gets me

Ray Lewis coach "We stand with Ray"


Ozzie "Always has a plan" Newsome on Ray says shit


Hernandez murders a dude


I know I'm a "sensitive pats fan" but the double standard is tiresome

Murray said...

First one Lewis second one Rice Sorry

Bengoodfella said...

Crazee, I try. I get a weird "1930's Chinatown private detective" voice in my head when I write those. Maybe in my next life I will write Peter King fan fiction.

Nah man, you know I'm sensitive to double standards as it pertains to NFL quarterbacks. Doesn't mean it's not true. I think there is the double standard for a couple of reasons:

1. The Ray Lewis/Ray Rice incidents happened over a decade apart. People (include myself) fail to draw a connection immediately.

2. People are jealous of Belichick and want to tear him down at all costs. Hernandez gets arrested and the Patriot Way is under attack. There is no Ravens Way.

After seeing all the shit Aaron Hernandez is mixed up in and how he's beating guys in prison, I feel the same way about Belichick I feel about Coach K re: Austin Rivers (Rivers is terrible, how did Coach K get him to be not terrible in college?).

I want to know how Belichick kept Hernandez in check all of those years and prevented him from going on a longer killing spree or getting arrested more often. It's more of a credit to Belichick than anything at this point.

Snarf said...

Peter thinks he has the Top 10 players who go off the board in the draft figured out with a little over two months until the actual draft. I'll remember this when Peter acts shocked the first round didn't go the way he anticipated and talks about how unpredictable the draft was. I mean come on, trades can happen and some players will rise up the board after individual workouts at their college. It's ridiculous to claim in late February which players will be taken at the top of the draft.

One edit for you...

Should be: "I'll remember this when Peter acts shocked the first round didn't go the way we/you anticipated and talks about how unpredictable the draft was." You better believe Peter is going to put this on the general public or his readership.

Murray, the fact that Hernandez was by all accounts an on-going set of actions, while the other two appear to be isolated incidents (as far as the public is aware), changes things a bit. I'm not going to say you're wrong to feel like people are ganging up a bit on BB, but you do have to consider the circumstances a bit.

Slag-King said...

Also, is that "dwarf" mention a reference to Rice's height? Very insensitive.

The league’s Competition Committee meets in Florida beginning Friday, and one of the items on the agenda will be discussion on a rule to flag players for using the n-word on the field during games. I’m unequivocally in favor of it, and can see no reason why it wouldn’t be enacted

Shouldn't "dwarf" be a flaggable offense? Calling another player "crap" be flagged? What constitutes an offensive word? Is the n-word the only word that is offensive? According to Peter (and the NFL), it is.

Referee: "Unsportsmanlike conduct, defense, number 40, for using inappropriate, offensive word to an offensive player. 15 yards tacked on at the end of the play, and this game's salary fine at the end of the day. First down."

Slag-King said...

One last thought. It is interesting that the media jockeys like Peter King are parroting the current political correctness as to censor words and determine intent as hate crime.

I think that it is funny that Peter has no problems with 300+ lb smashing each other into a bruised pulp, but they need protection from words? Something is seriously amiss here. Your fan fiction of the conversation between Demoff and King makes makes much sense with Peter's psyche.

Bengoodfella said...

Snarf, WE ALL thought the draft board would look like it did in February. Nobody knew there would be such a shakeup in the Top 10.

Slag, I don't even know how they are going to officiate words. It just seems stupid to do in my opinion. Come on, how can this happen? Are we going to require written transcripts to prove something was said?

I thought for sure this is something Peter wouldn't go for because it turns the officials into the thought police, but I guess Peter is fine with it.